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Anu

Anu Krishna  |894 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
S Question by S on Jul 04, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Hi. Please keep my identity anonymous.
My elder sister has been married for 20 years and she has had turbulent times with her husband. During the first few years of marriage, she did all she could to please him and get his attention. She went out of her way to keep him happy. But her husband always chided her for her looks. She was lean initially but put on weight after pregnancy.
Unfortunately her husband had a playboy nature and she caught him red handed committing adultery thrice. Last time he went physical with his young cousin who was brought up in my sister's place as their own . She went into depression when she found out and was on the verge of committing suicide and killing her daughters but relented. Although she forgave him for the first two times, this time she could not control herself. We had to toil hard to counsel her not to take extreme measures.
While this incident happened few years ago, from outside things appear to be normal as before. But deep within I feel she is leading a fake life. She says she has to put up a brave face for her daughters’ sake.
I know that she has a lot of anger and frustration inside which can burst out any moment. She doesn't want to talk about the incident despite me advising her to seek psychiatric help. I want to seek your opinion on what I can do as a brother? I sometimes feel I am worthless seeing her suffer silently.

Ans:

Dear S,

It’s unfortunate that relationships outside of marriage seem to be used as a way of escaping something that is deeper.

Your sister’s children I presume must be older where they understand what is happening to the mental health of their mother. It might be wise for your sister to relook at her life in a new light.

Children have grown up and now she can think for herself; even if she is financially not independent, things can be sorted out.

She needs to take the decision to what that change else as a brother no matter what you try, it will not work as your sister is used to living life as a victim and this possibly offers her a roof over her head and that of her children.

Also, it isn’t easy to live life as a single woman and hence she might have never allowed herself the thought of being independent.

Give her a lot of love and support her, but tell her that giving up on her life only will mean that her husband would have achieved a clear path to do more of what he already has.

Set up an environment for her to flourish, maybe she can study something or start working.

It will empower her to take strong decisions for herself and her children.

Enable her to do the right thing for herself.

Best wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |894 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 09, 2021

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Dear Anu, I've been married to my wife for 10 years. In the last 2 years or so I find it difficult to understand her. Once every 2 or 3 months she goes into depression, and brings up old conversations between my mother and sister. It is not that they are perfect; however they have already moved on. She blames I didn't support, if the conversations happened in front of me then I can support but didn't happen. Also, my mother and sister they don't talk to me anything about those conversations. I love her and I have asked her to seek medical help but she doesn't want. I want to help and at the same time I need help.
Ans: Dear A, my first question to you is: how do you know that it is depression?

Has she been clinically diagnosed? Most often, I find people throwing this word around loosely without knowing what depression truly is.

For all you know, she may simply be low or upset over something that comes and goes frequently.

Assuming that this is case from what you have stated in your email, what is the reason that you feel she brings up these conversations from the past?

What triggers it? Is there a reference to your mother or sister in any current context?

Is anyone praising them currently and she doesn’t like it? Is she being compared to them in any manner?

Has she lost or given up anything in the past because of them that is impacting her now?

Do a reality check with her or if you know the answers to these, you will know what exactly is going on in your mind.

Questions like these can point you in a direction that will enable you to help her rather than see her as a problem.

She may not be willing to go to a professional for help as most of us think that it is NOTHING.

Stress and sadness are real and over a period of time, it can rob us of even the smallest of joys that we deserve.

It's easy to say: Forget the past; one cannot forget the past or what happened there BUT one can only change the way they feel about the past.

Replaying what happened means she is reliving the same experience over and over again and feels the reality of this even now which must be dulled and faded away.

Why does she hold onto this is because it perhaps gives her the solace of not doing anything about it now and it’s easy to play the blame game?

At times, we seek refuge under phrases like: My life is a living hell because of this or that. This could also be hiding away from opportunities and blaming the world for it.

What I am sharing here is based on what information that I have got from you.

I suggest start with the reality check questions first and see how it goes as this will give you vital information on what’s going on in her mind.

Most importantly, reiterate to her to be grateful for the things and people in her life right now.

Gratitude as an energy can liberate us from mundane occurrences and can keep us sane and calm.

Best wishes to you and your wife for a wonderful life.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |894 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 28, 2022

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Hi Anu, I'm a 50 year old male married for 10 years. This is our second marriage for both of us. We live abroad. Since Day One my spouse was suspicious of me linking me with anyone on the street. She says I'm sighting girls. She suspected that I am interested in my elder sister-in-law since marriage. She never told me this for three years. Due to this we never had any relationship (and no child). Because of this constant fighting I lost my mother (I apologised to mother since I was not able to take care of her and I was unhappy. She died within a month of my apology.) I never told anyone either of our relatives about our problems. My father is 90 and alive. I don't want to cause any problem to him. During these 10 years her father never bothered to check if any problems. I hardly slept 1-2 days a week during these years.My spouse never changed a bit during these 10 years. Her position reached a stage where I had to admit her to hospital for psychosis. She got discharged in 2 months because her parents were adamant on discharge on the condition that she will travel to India. But once discharged, she refused to travel for nearly 10 months. Her father supported her. When her mother passed away in December 2020, due to Covid her return tickets got cancelled. In December 2021 she was again in hospital for 20 days in India for similar psychological issues. In April 2022 I visited her house in India and gave her father a 4-page document detailing her behaviour during these 10 years. He simply said she has done unknowingly. He is adamant on trying to send her back to me. While I am struggling to live, her father lives a happy life with his pension. As a father he never corrects his daughter and instead tries to push the problems to me.I have asked for a divorce but she is not willing to give and starts shouting hysterically. Please let me know how to proceed.
Ans:

Dear S,

If you have decided that divorce is the only option to consider, then yes, file for divorce legally by hiring a lawyer who has specialized in cases where the spouse is unwilling to let the divorce happen.

In short, if it’s not a mutual consent, it might drag on for years, so get a good skilled lawyer to take up your case.

On the emotional side of things, I urge you to be patient and empathetic towards your wife. With her mental health condition, she possibly has no control over her thoughts and subsequent actions are a result of an impulsive reaction.

Yes, it is unfortunate that the marriage went through a lot of low phases but do remember she is a human who is going through a challenge which is not easy to fathom by people who don’t have a mental illness.

I realise that this might be a little difficult to do, but in the long-term scheme of things, it will be a good ally as a sound and calm mind helps you through challenging times.

This point of view will help you through the divorce proceedings where you will be able to be fair and just to make sure that she is also taken care of.

All the best for a better journey ahead!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |894 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2022

Relationship
Dear Anu,Hope you are doing well!I happened to read few of your articles on family issues hence thought of seeking advice on a very complicated family issue of mine.This is going to be really big email... sorry I badly need help!My elder sister is married for close to 8 years now.It's an arranged marriage and she is married to very big family of three sisters and two brothers....My sister's husband been the last one in the family...Since Day One of the marriage her sisters-in-law would interfere in every little thing that happens in my sister's and her husband's life. Literally everything and her life is miserable now...These three ladies never let his elder brother's wife as well to stay with her husband and now she lives separately fearing his sisters. And it's the same with my sister's life as well.It is an arranged marriage with an age gap of 10 years between my sister and her husband... Since Day One he would pick up silly fights with my sister and emotionally blackmail her... I'm not sure if he was really into the marriage.... He always complains about my sister, ill-treats her and constantly keep asking her to divorce him.He listens to his sisters and humiliates her.My parents have been looking after my sister's needs even after marriage -- phone recharges, dresses and even sanitary napkins. He has never spent money for my sister's basic needs.She has to do all house chores like washing, mopping and cleaning.... And his sister will just cook and leave... they have never let my sister to cook but complain to everyone that she doesn't want to do house chores.I have seen my sister (when I stayed with her for two days just see what was happening in the house) she wakes up at 4 am to sweep the garden mess which is close to half an acre. Then mop the house, wash vessels and clothes. She will be exhausted by the time she finishes all the work and when she finally sits to eat, the in-laws will taunt her and she has starved without eating for days.When she discussed this with her husband, he'd ignore or argue with her not to say anything bad about his sisters.Our upbringing back home was very different. We grew up around house helps who helped us with chores but my sister didn't complain about that as well. She said ‘in laws’ house is way different than mom's place.' It hurts to see my sister this way.All his three sisters rarely stay at their homes, instead they prefer staying at my sister's place and cause troubles between the husband and wife.He treats my sister like a slave.If she doesn't do what he asks her to do he says 'sign the divorce papers and leave.'According to him, my sister should never visit her mom's place. If she has to visit, she has to seek his permission and he will decide whether she can go or not and for how many days. If she stays back a day longer, he would pick up a fight. Even if he is in a different city she has to stay at her in-laws place.He works in army as a subhedhar. We have huge respect for people in the Army, that's the reason my sister was married to him despite the difference in age.And when my sister first gave birth to her son he said the most cruel thing any man could say. She had a C-section so he said, You are lame, you haven't done anything big or great, you had an operation, you easily cut open and gave birth. What pain do you think you have when you give birth in anesthesia?He would humiliate her in front of family members and friends, colleagues...We have advised her to leave him, find a job, to look after herself and the kids. We will support her. But she is not confident enough. She is so used to being dependent that she is scared of taking the big step fearing her kids’ future.She has been tolerating him more than any human can tolerate also because she is financially dependent on him.She has two kids, aged six and three.If she divorces him, she is worried about the kids’ schooling.As he is in the Army he will be moving to different cities every two years.In these 8 years of marriage, they have hardly been together for a year or more.He never took her to any deputed locations. She has to stay here in Kolar with her in-laws and he would visit her annually. My sister has to bear the brunt of the entire family.He will call my sister only if his sister permits, otherwise he will stay without calling her for months.My parents were also bearing all of his attitude for a few years until things went out of hand. Even after having 2 kids his attitude didn’t change.So my parents had to intervene.This pathetic man would find millions of ways to torture my sister mentally and physically.She was a silent and reserved kid in our family. Now she is so used to his behaviour that she is okay to live with him just for the sake of her kids. We are not that well off. My dad is a retired official who gets very little money as pension. So my parents are worried who will take care of her and kids after them if in case we file a divorce. Will alimony work here?There is no peace in our family.My parents are old and struggling with their health issues. And now there is so much of mental pressure due to all of this.After so much struggle and arguments, he finally took my sister with him to his current deputed location for 6 to 8 months. Again upon his sisters’ insistence he left his 6 year old kid with his sister and family and forced my sister to come with him or sign the divorce papers.And my foolish sister who didn't know what to do left her 6 year old kid with his sister in law family and went with her husband taking the another kid. Now she is crying day and night thinking about her kid.I went on with a huge argument with him asking what is the need for a child to leave his parents and study at his aunt's place. Since he is in the Army, changing schools should not be so difficult; he is your own kid and blood. How can you leave him alone there? He said, ‘My son will study wherever I ask him to.’When I asked him why he forced my sister to come with him leaving the kid with his sisters, he used cuss words and asked me to mind my own business. I lost my cool and said that he is acting brainless. He reminded me that he is the Army and no one can do anything to him. He said I could raise a complaint and cut the call.Now he has set rules that no one should visit or see his son. When my parents went to visit their own grandchild recently, his sisters did not allow them.I have been telling my parents to lodge a complaint against this man. But my parents feel that he is their son in law. Anything we do would affect my sister's life and brushed it aside. They’d rather convince my sister and send her back to live with the pyscho.Now they have realised and are repenting for not complaining about him earlier.Please advise us how to move further because whoever we consulted regarding this told us that we cannot complain about this. Only my sister can complain. She is scared of him and fears to lodge a complaint. She is in a different city now and wouldn't be able to do so.Is that right? Can't a grieving parent, grandparent or sister like me who is worried to the core about her sister's and cousins life complain against this saddest man?Is divorce advisable in this case or are we overdoing it? Should we lodge a police complaint? Can we write to his superior?It is possible that he might file a defamation case against us?I literally have no clue what to do or where to seek help. Please help me save my sister from this pathetic marriage.Awaiting your response.
Ans:

Dear ST,

If you and your parents know what has been going on, why did you not think of lodging a police complaint against your sister’s husband and his family for mental harassment?

What exactly are you waiting for?

Your sister has become used to this misery and sometimes this misery is familiar, and women are willing to put up with it for fear of societal backlash and being a burden on parents.

Which family separates a mother from a child?

Which family entertains the interference of sisters-in-law so much? I am unable to still understand why they would do such a thing.

And to top it all, our country has a huge mass of parents who believe that a daughter once married is the property of her husband. Which only means that he and his family can ill-treat her the way they wish, and the parents cite an excuse of being old and having no money to take care of her if she comes back.

Please, my humble appeal to each parent who have daughters crying out for help…bring them back home; at least they will have a chance to live and live a dignified life. She is still your daughter.

What if she wasn’t married? Would your parents throw all their children out saying that they are poor?

The reason your sister is hesitating to leave the man is perhaps she feels like a burden to your parents.

The first step is to become her strength by welcoming her back; society and her husbands’ family can be taken care of.

Hire a good lawyer who can take care of legal matters if it goes the divorce way.

Divorce or not is your sister and her husband’s decision.

Let her have some time away from her husband and his family. It might help her gain some objectivity and make a wise decision.

So, first you and your parents welcome her back…the rest can wait.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |894 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 18, 2024Hindi
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Hi, My sister was married in 2020. her relationship with her husband was good. He used to come late at home and talk to someone for long hours but was very loving to my sister all the time. My sister became pregnant and during that time she came to our home. She was here for almost 10months during which her husband would visit occassionally. Post delivery, my sister was finding it difficult to manage since this was her first child. this her husband never understood and started flirting with another girl and when confronted, he would just say that he had no intention to get involved with that woman, that woman was like her sister. Later when my sister confronted him he refused to answer anything and would just leave the room. Later this matter was informed to his father who disapproved of his behaviour initially and later started supporting him for his behaviour. my sister tried everything that was possible to reconcile. She even told him to forget everything and start new but she just doesnt understand and still behaves in the same way. Now my sister has come to my home again but still he doesnt realise his mistake and doesnt even take any step to reconcile. Please guide what to do? She has a 1 year old girl. please share your opinion. i have tried everything possible even spoke to his father but he is also adamant that its not his fault.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What can be done if the father also supports his son in an act of this nature?
It is time to involve the elders in your family to subtly put pressure on your sister's in-laws. Anyone in their sane sense will care for their reputation and if your sister's husband has an ounce of it left, he will do something to change paths.
If he doesn't and is still supported by his father and continues to be involved with women, then maybe you need to think of drastic steps to secure your sister and her little child's future. It will be a battle if you send her back home now and to manage all that with a little child is not easy.
So, before asking her to go back to her husband, cover all the loose ends which will make it safe and secure for your sister and her baby. If you see anything that will trouble her, then solve that part first...
If the in-laws are adamant, get your side of the elders to push back gently and then watch what happens.
Through all this, let your job be to strengthen your sister in terms of her mind; her baby is dependent on her well-being, so guide her to become self-reliant and mentally strong. It will be a big gift that you give her as a sister...

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |894 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 22, 2024Hindi
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I am 50 years old lady. I have youger sister about 40+ age. she is very negative thinker from younger age. I dont have mother and father. i have younger brother. my younger sister was in depression at time lock down then after treatment she become nornal therefore we decided to do marriage as she is along and nobody is there to take care of her as I am also having family. I and my family did marriage of her without inform her depression condition to groom. now her husband telling we are cheated to him. toubling us what to do...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Is your sister in a depressive phase yet again that her husband feels like he has been cheated? If she had fever after marriage, would he still have felt cheated by the fact that you didn't tell him about any fever before marriage?
Mental health issues are still not freely accepted in our part of the world as yet...given this, I am not surprised at the way your sister's husband and his family are behaving this way. The only way is to pacify them about it by giving them the facts as they are now.
Appeal to their wise side that it is possible to manage depressive phases and that the support of family is of utmost importance. Now winning this argument will depend on how forward thinking they are and whether they will be able to brush of the social stigma of depression. It's a nasty game but one that you all are already in...give it your best shot and talk about it openly at least now for your sister's sake. Hiding this has caused an unnecessary drama, so being frank is your only best option now...

All the best!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2989 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 24, 2024

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I'm investing monthly 30k for 2 months now in SIP. How much will be my return in 2030.
Ans: Forecasting SIP Returns for 2030: A Detailed Analysis

Investing in Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) is a prudent strategy for wealth accumulation, especially when considering long-term financial goals. Let's delve deeper into projecting returns for your SIP investments by the year 2030.

Evaluating the Investment Strategy

Initial Investment: A Strong Start

Beginning SIP investments is commendable, showcasing your commitment to financial planning and wealth creation.

Time Horizon: Long-Term Perspective

With a 9-year investment horizon until 2030, your approach aligns well with the principle of long-term investing, which is essential for maximizing returns and mitigating market volatility.

Assessing Potential Returns

Historical Performance: Insights from the Past

Looking back at historical data, equity investments, typically the underlying assets in SIPs, have shown favorable returns over extended periods.

Market Volatility: Consideration for Fluctuations

While long-term returns are promising, it's crucial to acknowledge the inherent volatility in the market, which can influence short-term investment performance.

Estimating Future Returns

Growth Potential: Optimism for the Future

Despite short-term fluctuations, equities hold significant growth potential over the long term, driven by economic growth, corporate earnings, and market dynamics.

Average Returns: Realistic Expectations

While precise returns cannot be guaranteed, historical trends indicate average annual returns ranging from 12-15% for equity investments.

Planning for 2030

Expected Returns: Setting Realistic Goals

Based on historical averages, it's reasonable to anticipate annual returns of approximately 12-15% for your SIP investments until 2030.

Compounded Growth: Amplifying Your Wealth

Over the 9-year period, the power of compounding can substantially enhance your initial investment, leading to exponential growth in wealth accumulation.

Conclusion: Optimistic Outlook

In conclusion, your decision to invest in SIPs reflects a prudent financial strategy. By staying invested for the long term, maintaining consistency in contributions, and embracing the potential of compounding, you can anticipate significant returns by the year 2030, thereby inching closer to your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2989 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 23, 2024Hindi
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Sir I am 35 years old my earning is 50000 per month, I have a home loan of 15 lac rupees, I stay in same home, I want to clear home loan early and retire early... please suggest
Ans: Strategizing for Early Home Loan Repayment and Retirement

It's admirable that you're proactively planning to clear your home loan early and retire ahead of schedule. Let's explore strategies to help you achieve these goals.

Assessing Your Financial Situation

Income and Liabilities

Your monthly earnings of Rs 50,000 provide a solid foundation for financial planning.
You have a home loan of Rs 15 lakh, which you aim to clear early to achieve financial freedom.

Retirement Aspiration
Expressing a desire to retire early indicates a proactive approach towards financial independence and lifestyle freedom.
Creating a Repayment Strategy

Accelerated Repayment Plan

Explore options to increase your home loan EMI payments to expedite loan clearance.
Allocate a portion of your monthly income towards additional loan repayments to reduce the principal amount and interest burden.

Prioritize Debt Clearance

Consider prioritizing debt clearance over other discretionary expenses to achieve your goal of early loan repayment.
Review your budget and identify areas where you can cut back on expenses to allocate more funds towards loan repayment.

Building a Retirement Fund

Savings and Investments

Evaluate your current savings and investment portfolio to determine if it aligns with your retirement goals.
Explore opportunities to increase your savings rate and allocate funds towards retirement-focused investments.

Retirement Planning

Work with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to develop a comprehensive retirement plan tailored to your specific needs and objectives.

Consider factors such as desired retirement age, lifestyle expectations, inflation, and healthcare expenses when formulating your retirement strategy.
Balancing Priorities
Emergency Fund
Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund set aside to cover unforeseen expenses and financial emergencies.
Aim to build a contingency fund equivalent to 3-6 months' worth of living expenses to provide financial security during unexpected situations.
Retirement Savings vs. Loan Repayment
Strike a balance between accelerating home loan repayment and building your retirement corpus.
Consider the opportunity cost of allocating funds towards loan repayment versus long-term wealth accumulation through retirement investments.
Conclusion: A Path to Financial Freedom
By adopting a disciplined approach to debt repayment and retirement planning, you can pave the way for a financially secure and fulfilling future.

Seek Professional Guidance
Consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to develop a customized financial plan that addresses your goals and concerns. A CFP can provide personalized advice and guidance to help you navigate the complexities of debt repayment and retirement planning.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2989 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 21, 2024Hindi
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Sir, i am 36 years old. Every month my take home salary is 70000. Already i am investment is 3500/- in sbi small cap on every month from last one year and i am in vesting 25000 in quant flexi cap, i had 1 crore term insurance and i want to retire at 45 years and how much corpus i will made?
Ans: Planning for Early Retirement: Building Your Corpus
Congratulations on your proactive approach towards financial planning and your aspiration for early retirement! Let's strategize to help you achieve your goal of retiring by the age of 45 with a sufficient corpus.

Assessing Your Current Financial Position
Income and Investments
Your monthly take-home salary of ?70,000 provides a solid foundation for savings and investment.
Currently, you are investing ?35,000 per month in SBI Small Cap Fund and ?25,000 per month in Quant Flexi Cap Fund.
Insurance Coverage
You have wisely secured a term insurance policy with a coverage of ?1 crore, ensuring financial protection for your family in case of any unforeseen events.
Estimating Retirement Corpus
Retirement Age and Expected Corpus
With the goal of retiring at 45 years, you have approximately 9 years left to accumulate a sufficient corpus for retirement.
Estimate your desired retirement corpus based on your expected expenses and lifestyle needs post-retirement.
Monthly Savings Requirement
Determine the monthly savings required to achieve your retirement goal within the specified timeframe.
Consider factors such as inflation, investment returns, and risk tolerance when projecting your savings target.
Investment Strategy for Early Retirement
Asset Allocation
Review your current investment portfolio and asset allocation to ensure alignment with your retirement objectives.
Consider diversifying across different asset classes to spread risk and optimize returns.
Risk Management
Evaluate the risk-return profile of your investment portfolio and make adjustments based on your risk tolerance and time horizon.
Ensure a balanced approach to risk management, considering both growth-oriented and stable investment options.
Retirement Planning Considerations
Lifestyle Expectations
Assess your post-retirement lifestyle expectations and determine the level of income required to maintain your desired standard of living.
Account for factors such as healthcare expenses, travel, and leisure activities when estimating your retirement budget.
Long-Term Financial Security
Plan for long-term financial security by incorporating provisions for healthcare expenses, inflation, and unexpected contingencies into your retirement plan.
Consider setting aside a contingency fund to cover emergencies and unforeseen expenses during retirement.
Conclusion: A Path to Financial Freedom
By adopting a disciplined savings and investment approach, you can work towards achieving your goal of early retirement with confidence and financial security.

Seek Professional Guidance
Consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to develop a customized retirement plan tailored to your specific needs and objectives. A CFP can provide personalized advice and guidance to help you navigate the complexities of retirement planning and ensure a smooth transition into your golden years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2989 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 23, 2024Hindi
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hello sir, i am 57, working in the gulf, planning to come back for good in another 6 moths or so. I have 1.5 cr worth of Fd, Shares for 1 Cr, MF for about 3 Cr and am expecting about 2 Cr worth of end of service benefits. i have my own house, no loans and funds readied for daughter marriage and sons education. people scare me - dont go now etc etc. kindly give me your valuable comments
Ans: It's great to hear about your upcoming return to India and your thoughtful financial preparation. Let's explore some valuable insights to address your concerns and ensure a smooth transition.

Evaluating Your Financial Position
Assets Overview
You have a diverse portfolio comprising Fixed Deposits, Shares, Mutual Funds, and anticipated End of Service Benefits, totaling around ?7.5 crores.
Your prudent financial management has enabled you to secure funds for your daughter's marriage, son's education, and own a mortgage-free house.
Consideration for Return
Assess your readiness for retirement and repatriation, considering both financial and non-financial factors.
Evaluate the potential impact of currency conversion, tax implications, and cost of living adjustments upon your return to India.
Addressing Concerns and Managing Expectations
Financial Security
Your substantial investment portfolio provides a strong foundation for financial security and stability upon your return.
Review your asset allocation and risk tolerance to ensure your investment strategy aligns with your post-retirement needs and objectives.
Emotional Support
Seek emotional support from family, friends, and trusted advisors to navigate the transition period and alleviate concerns raised by others.
Focus on the positive aspects of returning to India, including reuniting with loved ones and embracing familiar cultural surroundings.
Key Considerations for Repatriation
Currency Risk
Recognize the potential impact of currency fluctuations on the value of your overseas assets upon repatriation to India.
Explore hedging strategies or diversification techniques to mitigate currency risk and preserve the value of your investments.
Tax Planning
Consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to optimize your tax planning strategies and minimize tax liabilities associated with repatriating assets to India.
Leverage tax-efficient investment options and utilize available tax deductions and exemptions to enhance your overall tax efficiency.
Ensuring a Smooth Transition
Financial Planning
Develop a comprehensive financial plan tailored to your specific goals, timelines, and risk profile to facilitate a seamless transition.
Prioritize liquidity management and ensure sufficient cash reserves to meet immediate relocation expenses and unforeseen contingencies.
Lifestyle Adjustment
Prepare for lifestyle adjustments and cultural reintegration upon your return to India, including accommodation, healthcare, and social interactions.
Embrace the opportunities for personal and professional growth that come with relocating back to your home country.
Conclusion: Embracing a New Chapter
Your diligent financial preparation and thoughtful consideration of key factors demonstrate your readiness for a successful return to India. By addressing concerns, managing expectations, and leveraging professional advice, you can navigate this transition with confidence and optimism.

Seek Professional Guidance
Consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to develop a tailored repatriation plan and address any lingering concerns or uncertainties. A CFP can provide personalized advice and support to ensure a smooth transition and secure your financial well-being in India.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2989 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 24, 2024

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Sir, Age: 30yrs Income: 1.5lakhs per month Living in a rented house Getting married this year end. How much should I save monthly and how to live a happy life. Planning to retire as early as possible by 45-50yrs
Ans: Financial Planning for a Happy and Secure Life
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and your aspiration to achieve early retirement! Let's devise a financial plan to help you save effectively while enjoying a fulfilling life.

Assessing Your Financial Situation
Income and Expenses
Your monthly income of ?1.5 lakhs provides a solid foundation for financial stability.
Evaluate your current expenses, including rent, utilities, groceries, and discretionary spending.
Goals and Aspirations
Early retirement by 45-50 years is an ambitious but achievable goal that requires careful planning and disciplined saving.
Prioritize your financial goals, including saving for retirement, marriage expenses, and future financial milestones.
Determining Monthly Savings
Retirement Savings
Calculate the amount needed to achieve your retirement goal by 45-50 years, considering your desired lifestyle and inflation.
Determine the monthly savings required to reach this target within the specified timeframe.
Marriage Expenses
Estimate the total cost of your wedding and allocate a portion of your monthly income towards saving for this event.
Plan your savings strategy to ensure you have sufficient funds available by the end of the year.
Strategies for Living a Happy Life
Financial Wellness
Cultivate financial discipline by adhering to a budget and monitoring your expenses regularly.
Invest in experiences rather than material possessions, focusing on activities that bring joy and fulfillment.
Work-Life Balance
Prioritize work-life balance to avoid burnout and maintain overall well-being.
Allocate time for hobbies, relaxation, and spending quality moments with loved ones.
Personal Growth
Invest in personal development and lifelong learning to enhance your skills and broaden your horizons.
Pursue hobbies, interests, and passions that contribute to your personal growth and happiness.
Conclusion: Balancing Financial Security and Happiness
By adopting a balanced approach to financial planning and life enjoyment, you can achieve both financial security and happiness.

Recommendations
Monthly Savings Plan
Allocate a significant portion of your income towards retirement savings to meet your early retirement goal.
Set aside a dedicated amount each month for marriage expenses, ensuring you have sufficient funds by the wedding date.
Lifestyle Choices
Embrace a minimalist lifestyle focused on experiences and personal fulfillment rather than material possessions.
Practice mindfulness and gratitude to appreciate the present moment and find happiness in simple pleasures.
Seek Professional Advice
Consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to develop a customized financial plan tailored to your specific goals and aspirations. A CFP can provide personalized guidance and support to help you achieve financial independence and live a fulfilling life.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2989 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 24, 2024

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What are the best funds to invest lumpsum in. As in when I accumulate some cash which I don't want to place in equity type funds.
Ans: Let's explore some alternative investment options for lump sum investments other than equity funds.

Understanding Different Investment Options
Fixed Income Instruments
Bank Fixed Deposits: Provide capital preservation and fixed interest income, but returns may be lower than inflation rates.
Corporate Bonds: Offer higher yields than government bonds but come with credit risk associated with the issuing company.
Debt Mutual Funds: Invest in a portfolio of fixed-income securities, providing diversification and professional management.
Gold Investments
Physical Gold: Offers a hedge against inflation and geopolitical risks but entails storage and security concerns.
Gold ETFs: Trade like stocks on stock exchanges, offering liquidity and ease of trading but involve brokerage fees and expense ratios.
Hybrid Funds
Balanced Funds: Invest in a mix of equity and debt instruments, providing a balance between growth and stability but are subject to market risks.
Assessing Your Investment Goals and Risk Tolerance
Short-Term vs. Long-Term Goals
Determine the timeframe for your investment goals, whether they are short-term liquidity needs or long-term wealth accumulation objectives.
Risk Tolerance
Assess your risk tolerance level to determine the appropriate investment strategy. If you prefer lower risk and volatility, fixed income instruments may be suitable.
Making Informed Investment Decisions
Considerations for Choosing the Best Funds
Risk-Return Profile: Evaluate the risk-return characteristics of each investment option and choose the one that aligns with your financial objectives.
Liquidity Needs: Consider your liquidity needs and investment horizon when selecting investment instruments.
Diversification: Maintain a diversified investment portfolio across asset classes to spread risk and enhance overall returns.
Recommendation
Given your preference for alternatives to equity funds for lump sum investments, consider a combination of fixed income instruments, gold investments, and hybrid funds to achieve diversification and manage risk effectively.

Seek Professional Advice
Consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to assess your individual financial situation, investment goals, and risk tolerance. A CFP can provide personalized recommendations and guide you in building a well-balanced investment portfolio tailored to your needs.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2989 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 24, 2024

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Sir - Is having MFs in Demat form advantageous rather than in physical possession? I shall be grateful for your advice.
Ans: Demat vs. Physical Mutual Funds: Which is Better?
Let's delve into the advantages and disadvantages of holding Mutual Funds (MFs) in Demat form versus physical possession to help you make an informed decision.

Understanding Demat Accounts
Demat Account Advantages
Convenience: Demat accounts offer a single platform to hold various financial securities, including stocks, bonds, and mutual funds.
Electronic Transactions: Allows for easy buying, selling, and transferring of mutual fund units, eliminating paperwork and manual processes.
Demat Account Disadvantages
Annual Charges: Demat accounts typically incur annual maintenance charges, adding to the overall cost of holding investments.
Transaction Charges: Each transaction (buying, selling, or transferring units) attracts transaction charges, increasing the cost further.
Opting for Physical Mutual Funds
Advantages of Physical Mutual Funds
No Annual Charges: Unlike Demat accounts, physical mutual funds do not entail annual maintenance charges, reducing overall expenses.
No Transaction Charges: Physical mutual funds eliminate transaction charges associated with buying, selling, or transferring units.
Conclusion: Which Option to Choose?
Given the disadvantages associated with Demat accounts for holding mutual funds, opting for physical possession seems more advantageous in the long run.

Recommendation
Considerations for Holding Physical Mutual Funds
Convenience: Physical mutual funds offer ease of ownership without the hassle of account maintenance charges or transaction fees.
Cost-Efficiency: By avoiding annual charges and transaction fees, you can minimize expenses and maximize returns on your investments.
Simplicity: Holding physical mutual funds simplifies your investment portfolio management and reduces the administrative burden.
Making an Informed Decision
While Demat accounts offer convenience and electronic access to financial securities, the associated costs may outweigh the benefits, especially for mutual fund investors.

Seek Professional Advice
Consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to assess your individual circumstances, risk tolerance, and investment objectives. A CFP can provide personalized guidance and recommend the most suitable investment approach aligned with your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2989 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 24, 2024

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Dear sir, have a very warm day to you. I ANS now 32, currently working as assistant professor in a college( recently joined). I have a lic term insurance with term plan of 40 lac sum.imsured at my age of 60 Currently I have around 6.5 lac in my NPS. I have a son (2 month old) now. My net salary around 75k currently which may further increases as the time.My wife is also working and she also earned around 40 k now I have a loan of around 2.5 lac which I have to pay in a year. I want to get a corpus of around 5 cr at the time of my retirement and also have to secure at least 25-40 lac for my son higher education. Now, my request is that please tell me some better plans for the better future of my family and me when I will be retired from my job as well as to secure the education support of my child
Ans: Securing Your Family's Future: Financial Planning for Long-Term Goals
Dear ANS, congratulations on the newest addition to your family and your commitment to securing their future. Let’s explore some effective financial strategies to achieve your goals of retirement planning and providing for your son’s education.

Current Financial Overview
Income and Expenses
You and your wife collectively earn around ?1.15 lakhs per month, with the potential for future salary increases.
You have a manageable loan of ?2.5 lakhs, which will be paid off within a year.
Savings and Investments
You have a LIC term insurance plan providing coverage of ?40 lakhs until the age of 60.
Your NPS balance is approximately ?6.5 lakhs, providing a foundation for retirement savings.
Planning for Retirement: Building a Corpus of ?5 Crores
Retirement Age: Assumed at 60
Determine your desired retirement age and estimate your post-retirement expenses based on your current lifestyle and inflation projections.
Retirement Corpus Calculation
Calculate the corpus required to maintain your desired lifestyle post-retirement, considering inflation and expected longevity.
Strategies for Retirement Planning
1. Increase Retirement Savings
Maximize contributions to your NPS account to benefit from tax benefits and build a substantial retirement corpus.
Consider diversifying retirement savings by investing in other tax-efficient instruments like PPF and ELSS mutual funds.
2. Regular Financial Reviews
Regularly review and reassess your retirement goals and investment strategy to ensure they remain aligned with your evolving financial situation and objectives.
Education Planning: Securing ?25-40 Lakhs for Your Son’s Education
Estimated Education Cost: Consider Inflation
Estimate the future cost of your son’s higher education, factoring in inflation and the duration until he starts college.
Education Fund Accumulation
Start a dedicated education fund for your son’s future expenses, such as a combination of mutual funds, SIPs, and fixed deposits.
Gradually increase contributions to this fund over time to meet the desired corpus by the time he begins his education.
Risk Management and Contingency Planning
Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to at least six months' worth of living expenses to cover unforeseen financial setbacks.
Adequate Insurance Coverage
Review your insurance coverage regularly and consider increasing the sum assured on your term insurance policy to ensure adequate protection for your family's financial security.
Long-Term Wealth Creation Strategies
Diversified Investment Portfolio
Build a diversified investment portfolio comprising equities, mutual funds, and fixed income instruments to achieve long-term wealth creation goals.
Professional Financial Advice
Consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to develop a comprehensive financial plan tailored to your specific needs, goals, and risk tolerance.
A CFP can provide personalized guidance, investment recommendations, and ongoing portfolio management to help you achieve your financial objectives.
Conclusion: Working Towards a Brighter Future
ANS, by implementing these strategies and staying disciplined in your financial planning, you can work towards achieving your long-term goals of a comfortable retirement and securing your son's education. Remember to review and adjust your financial plan periodically to adapt to changing circumstances and ensure you remain on track to meet your objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2989 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 24, 2024

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Money
I have 15 lac lumpsum to invest , where should I invest it? Option 1 : I can buy a plot of 45-50 lac where I can made down payment of 15 lac and loan ( for 10 years) for rest amount. Expected ROI is 10-12% max. Option 2: I have a capacity to take risk (middle level) and can invest in equity / mutual fund and start sip of equivalent emi amount.—— I have a small house to live but this investment is to get big home for children. I will need this big home after 7-8 years. Please suggest if I can opt for option 1 or 2. Which option will be beneficial - buy plot now on loan or buying after 8 years ? Considering: this plot can be used for own house or can sell in future to buy house in better locations in future.
Ans: Investing ?15 Lakhs: Plot Purchase vs. Equity/Mutual Funds
Making a decision about investing a significant amount like ?15 lakhs requires careful consideration of your financial goals, risk tolerance, and timeline. Let’s evaluate both options to determine which one aligns best with your objectives.

Option 1: Purchase a Plot with Loan
Advantages
Potential for Appreciation: Real estate historically appreciates over time, offering the potential for capital appreciation.
Ownership Benefits: Owning a plot provides a sense of ownership and control over the asset, allowing you to use it for personal residence or future sale.
Disadvantages
Illiquidity: Real estate investments are relatively illiquid compared to financial assets like stocks and mutual funds. Selling a plot may take time and effort.
Cost of Borrowing: Taking a loan for the plot incurs interest costs, reducing overall returns. Ensure the expected ROI exceeds the cost of borrowing.
Option 2: Invest in Equity/Mutual Funds
Advantages
Liquidity: Equity and mutual fund investments offer high liquidity, allowing you to access funds quickly if needed.
Diversification: Investing in a diversified portfolio of stocks and mutual funds spreads risk and potentially enhances returns.
Tax Efficiency: Long-term capital gains from equity investments are taxed at a lower rate compared to interest income from a plot loan.
Disadvantages
Market Volatility: Equity markets are subject to fluctuations, and your investment may experience short-term losses.
Risk of Underperformance: While equities offer the potential for high returns, there is no guarantee of positive returns, and your investment may underperform expectations.
Considerations for Your Big Home Plan
Timeline: 7-8 Years
Evaluate your timeline for needing a bigger home for your children. If the requirement is within 7-8 years, consider the investment horizon and expected returns of each option.
Growth Potential
Assess the growth potential of both options over the specified timeline. Real estate investments typically appreciate over the long term, while equity markets offer potential for higher returns with proper diversification.
Risk Tolerance
Consider your risk tolerance level. If you can withstand short-term market volatility and are comfortable with the risk associated with equity investments, Option 2 may be suitable.
Financial Flexibility
Evaluate your financial flexibility and ability to manage loan repayments. Assess whether taking a loan for the plot aligns with your financial goals and cash flow situation.
Conclusion: Making an Informed Decision
Given your desire to provide a bigger home for your children in 7-8 years, it’s essential to weigh the pros and cons of both options carefully.

Option 1 (Plot Purchase): Offers potential appreciation and ownership benefits but entails illiquidity and borrowing costs.
Option 2 (Equity/Mutual Funds): Provides liquidity, diversification, and tax efficiency but carries market volatility risk.
Recommendation
Considering your timeline, financial goals, and risk tolerance, investing in equity/mutual funds through SIPs may be more suitable. This option offers liquidity, diversification, and the potential for higher returns over the specified timeframe.

Before making a decision, consult with a Certified Financial Planner to assess your individual circumstances and develop a tailored investment strategy that aligns with your long-term objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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