Dear Anu,
Hope you are doing well!
I happened to read few of your articles on family issues hence thought of seeking advice on a very complicated family issue of mine.
This is going to be really big email... sorry I badly need help!
My elder sister is married for close to 8 years now.
It's an arranged marriage and she is married to very big family of three sisters and two brothers....
My sister's husband been the last one in the family...
Since Day One of the marriage her sisters-in-law would interfere in every little thing that happens in my sister's and her husband's life. Literally everything and her life is miserable now...
These three ladies never let his elder brother's wife as well to stay with her husband and now she lives separately fearing his sisters. And it's the same with my sister's life as well.
It is an arranged marriage with an age gap of 10 years between my sister and her husband...
Since Day One he would pick up silly fights with my sister and emotionally blackmail her...
I'm not sure if he was really into the marriage.... He always complains about my sister, ill-treats her and constantly keep asking her to divorce him.
He listens to his sisters and humiliates her.
My parents have been looking after my sister's needs even after marriage -- phone recharges, dresses and even sanitary napkins.
He has never spent money for my sister's basic needs.
She has to do all house chores like washing, mopping and cleaning.... And his sister will just cook and leave... they have never let my sister to cook but complain to everyone that she doesn't want to do house chores.
I have seen my sister (when I stayed with her for two days just see what was happening in the house) she wakes up at 4 am to sweep the garden mess which is close to half an acre. Then mop the house, wash vessels and clothes.
She will be exhausted by the time she finishes all the work and when she finally sits to eat, the in-laws will taunt her and she has starved without eating for days.
When she discussed this with her husband, he'd ignore or argue with her not to say anything bad about his sisters.
Our upbringing back home was very different. We grew up around house helps who helped us with chores but my sister didn't complain about that as well. She said ‘in laws’ house is way different than mom's place.' It hurts to see my sister this way.
All his three sisters rarely stay at their homes, instead they prefer staying at my sister's place and cause troubles between the husband and wife.
He treats my sister like a slave.
If she doesn't do what he asks her to do he says 'sign the divorce papers and leave.'
According to him, my sister should never visit her mom's place. If she has to visit, she has to seek his permission and he will decide whether she can go or not and for how many days. If she stays back a day longer, he would pick up a fight. Even if he is in a different city she has to stay at her in-laws place.
He works in army as a subhedhar. We have huge respect for people in the Army, that's the reason my sister was married to him despite the difference in age.
And when my sister first gave birth to her son he said the most cruel thing any man could say.
She had a C-section so he said, You are lame, you haven't done anything big or great, you had an operation, you easily cut open and gave birth.
What pain do you think you have when you give birth in anesthesia?
He would humiliate her in front of family members and friends, colleagues...
We have advised her to leave him, find a job, to look after herself and the kids. We will support her. But she is not confident enough. She is so used to being dependent that she is scared of taking the big step fearing her kids’ future.
She has been tolerating him more than any human can tolerate also because she is financially dependent on him.
She has two kids, aged six and three.
If she divorces him, she is worried about the kids’ schooling.
As he is in the Army he will be moving to different cities every two years.
In these 8 years of marriage, they have hardly been together for a year or more.
He never took her to any deputed locations. She has to stay here in Kolar with her in-laws and he would visit her annually. My sister has to bear the brunt of the entire family.
He will call my sister only if his sister permits, otherwise he will stay without calling her for months.
My parents were also bearing all of his attitude for a few years until things went out of hand. Even after having 2 kids his attitude didn’t change.
So my parents had to intervene.
This pathetic man would find millions of ways to torture my sister mentally and physically.
She was a silent and reserved kid in our family. Now she is so used to his behaviour that she is okay to live with him just for the sake of her kids. We are not that well off. My dad is a retired official who gets very little money as pension. So my parents are worried who will take care of her and kids after them if in case we file a divorce. Will alimony work here?
There is no peace in our family.
My parents are old and struggling with their health issues. And now there is so much of mental pressure due to all of this.
After so much struggle and arguments, he finally took my sister with him to his current deputed location for 6 to 8 months. Again upon his sisters’ insistence he left his 6 year old kid with his sister and family and forced my sister to come with him or sign the divorce papers.
And my foolish sister who didn't know what to do left her 6 year old kid with his sister in law family and went with her husband taking the another kid. Now she is crying day and night thinking about her kid.
I went on with a huge argument with him asking what is the need for a child to leave his parents and study at his aunt's place. Since he is in the Army, changing schools should not be so difficult; he is your own kid and blood. How can you leave him alone there? He said, ‘My son will study wherever I ask him to.’
When I asked him why he forced my sister to come with him leaving the kid with his sisters, he used cuss words and asked me to mind my own business. I lost my cool and said that he is acting brainless. He reminded me that he is the Army and no one can do anything to him. He said I could raise a complaint and cut the call.
Now he has set rules that no one should visit or see his son. When my parents went to visit their own grandchild recently, his sisters did not allow them.
I have been telling my parents to lodge a complaint against this man. But my parents feel that he is their son in law. Anything we do would affect my sister's life and brushed it aside. They’d rather convince my sister and send her back to live with the pyscho.
Now they have realised and are repenting for not complaining about him earlier.
Please advise us how to move further because whoever we consulted regarding this told us that we cannot complain about this. Only my sister can complain. She is scared of him and fears to lodge a complaint. She is in a different city now and wouldn't be able to do so.
Is that right? Can't a grieving parent, grandparent or sister like me who is worried to the core about her sister's and cousins life complain against this saddest man?
Is divorce advisable in this case or are we overdoing it?
Should we lodge a police complaint? Can we write to his superior?
It is possible that he might file a defamation case against us?
I literally have no clue what to do or where to seek help. Please help me save my sister from this pathetic marriage.
Awaiting your response.

Ans: You already built a solid foundation. Many investors delay planning. But you started early at 36. That gives you a strong advantage. You have no liabilities. You have long term thinking. You also have diversified savings like PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and direct stocks. That shows clarity and discipline. This approach builds wealth with less stress over time.

You also started systematic investments in equity funds. That is a positive step. Your selection covers multiple categories like large cap, mid cap, small cap, flexi cap, hybrid and precious metals. So the intent is right. You are trying to create a broad portfolio. That gives balance.

» Your Portfolio Composition Understanding
Your current SIP list includes:

Small cap

Mid cap

Flexi cap

Large cap

Large and mid cap

Hybrid category

Gold and Silver FoF

Equity and Debt allocation fund

Dynamic hybrid fund

This shows you are trying to cover many segments. But too many categories can create overlap. When there is overlap, you get confusion during review. It also makes portfolio discipline difficult. You may think you are diversified. But the holdings inside may repeat. That reduces efficiency.

Your portfolio now looks like:

Equity dominant

Hybrid for stability

Metals for hedge

So the broad direction is fine. But simplifying helps in long-term habit building.

» Fund Category Duplication
You hold:

Two flexi cap funds

One large and mid cap fund

One pure large cap fund

One mid cap fund

One small cap fund

Flexi cap funds already invest across large, mid, small. Then large and mid also overlaps. So the large cap exposure gets repeated. That may not add extra benefit. But it increases monitoring complexity.

So I suggest rationalising. Keep one fund per category in core. Keep satellite space for only high conviction.

» Core and Satellite Strategy
A structured portfolio follows core and satellite method.

Core portfolio should be:

Simple

Long term

Stable

Satellite portfolio can be:

High growth

Concentrated

Based on your thinking level, you can structure like this:

Core funds:

One large cap

One flexi cap

One hybrid equity and debt fund

One balanced advantage type fund

Satellite funds:

One mid cap

One small cap

One metal allocation if needed

This division gives clarity. You can continue SIPs with review every year. No need to stop and restart often. That reduces behavioural mistakes.

» Your Current SIP List Review with Suggested Streamlining

You can consider continuing:

One flexi cap

One large cap

One mid cap

One small cap

One balanced advantage

One equity and debt hybrid

You may reconsider keeping both flexi caps and both gold silver funds. One of each category is enough. Because too many funds do not increase returns. It complicates tracking.

Precious metal funds should not be more than 5 to 7 percent in your portfolio. This is because metals are hedge assets. They do not create compounding like equity. They act as protection during cycles. So keep them small.

» How to Use the Rs 6 Lakh Lump Sum
You asked about lump sum investing. This is important. Lump sum should not go fully into equity at one time. Markets move in cycles. So use a staggered method. You can invest the lump sum through STP (Systematic Transfer Plan). You can keep the amount in a liquid fund and set STP toward your chosen growth funds over 6 to 12 months.

This reduces timing risk. It also creates discipline. So your Rs 6 lakh can be deployed gradually. You may use 50% towards core equity funds and 30% toward satellite growth category. The remaining 20% can go into hybrid category. This gives balance and comfort.

» Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
One important point many investors miss. Direct funds look cheaper. But they demand deep knowledge, discipline, and behaviour control. Most investors lose more through emotional selling and wrong timing than they save on expense ratio.

With regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor with Certified Financial Planner qualification, you get guidance, structure and correction. The advisory discipline protects you during market extremes. That is more valuable than a small saving in expense ratio.

A personalised planner also tracks portfolio drift, rebalancing need and category shifts. So regular fund investing gives long-term benefit and behaviour coaching.

» Actively Managed Funds over Index or ETF
Some investors choose index funds or ETF thinking they are simple and cheap. But they ignore drawbacks.

Index funds or ETF will not avoid weak companies in the index. They will invest whether the company grows or struggles. There is no fund manager decision making. So when markets are at peak, index funds continue aggressive exposure. In downturns also they fall fully. There is no cushion.

Actively managed funds work with research teams. They can avoid bad sectors. They can shift allocation based on market and economy. Over long term, this gives better alpha and stability. So continuing with actively managed funds creates better wealth compounding.

» SIP Continuation Strategy
Once the rationalisation is done, continue SIPs every month without interruption. Pause and restart behaviour damages compounding power. SIP works best when you go through all market cycles. You benefit more during corrections because cost averaging works.

So continue SIP amount. You can also review SIP increase every year based on income. Increasing SIP by 10 to 15 percent every year helps you reach large corpus faster.

» Asset Allocation Based Approach
One key point in wealth creation is having the right asset mix. Equity gives growth. Hybrid gives balance. Metals give hedge. Debt gives safety. Your asset allocation should stay aligned to your risk profile and time horizon.

Since you are young and have long term horizon, higher equity allocation is fine. But as time moves, rebalancing is important. Rebalancing protects gains and restores allocation.

So review your asset allocation every year or during major life events like child birth, home buying or retirement planning.

» Behaviour Management
Many portfolios fail not due to bad funds. They fail due to bad decisions. Selling during correction. Stopping SIP when market falls. Chasing past return performance. These mistakes reduce wealth.

Your discipline so far is good. Continue to stay patient during volatility. Equity rewards patience and time.

» Financial Goals Clarity
Since you have no children now, you can decide your long-term goals. Typical goals may include:

Retirement

Future child education

Dream lifestyle purchase

Health care reserves

When goals are clear, investment purpose becomes stronger. So you can map each fund category to goal horizon. Short-term goals should not use equity. Long-term goals should use equity with hybrid support.

» Role of Review and Monitoring
Review once in a year is enough. Frequent review can create anxiety. Annual review helps check:

Fund performance

Expense drift

Category relevance

Allocation balance

Then adjust only if needed. This progress helps you stay confident and aligned.

» Taxation Awareness
Equity mutual funds taxation rules are:

Short term (below one year holding) taxable at 20 percent

Long term (above one year holding) gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxable at 12.5 percent

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income slab.

So always hold equity funds for long term. That reduces tax impact and gives better growth.

» SIP Increase Plan
You can create a simple plan to increase SIP over time. For example:

Increase SIP at every salary increment

Increase SIP during bonus time

Use rewards or extra income for investing

This habit accelerates wealth. So by the time you reach 45 to 50 years, your investments could reach a strong level.

» Insurance and Protection
Before investing large, ensure you have term insurance and health insurance. If not already done, it is important. Insurance protects wealth. Without insurance, even a small medical event can impact investment plan. So review this part also. Since you are married, cover both.

» Wealth Behaviour Mindset
You are already disciplined. Just keep these simple principles:

Invest without stopping

Review once a year

Avoid funds overlap

Follow asset allocation

Avoid reacting to media noise

This helps you reach long term milestones.

» Finally
You are on the right track. Only fine tuning and simplification is needed. Your discipline is visible. Your portfolio will grow well with structure, patience and periodic review. Use the Rs 6 lakh with STP approach. And continue SIP with rationalised categories.

With time and consistency, wealth creation becomes effortless and peaceful. You just need to stay committed and avoid overthinking during market movements.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: Starting afresh in 11th class is completely fine, but initially focus on strong NCERT fundamentals for Physics, Chemistry, and Biology through daily self-study, consistent revision, and weekly mock tests. Aim for the NEET cutoff plus medical fitness standards for AFMC, build physical fitness alongside academics, and maintain discipline with a clear daily routine to stay on track. Usually, switching between coaching institutes is not recommended, but if there are serious issues with teachers, it's understandable to make a change. However, success does not solely depend on the coaching institute; dedicated studying is essential. Self-study with passion, consistency, completing the syllabus on time, extensive revision, and practising past papers are crucial for cracking the exam. If you have that strong desire, you can attempt NEET; otherwise, choose your path without hesitation. NEET is not the ultimate measure of success in life.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Ans: Getting an EWS rank of 16k–19k is moderately tough and usually needs 90–93 percentile (90k–110k CRL), which is very difficult with only boards preparation and typically requires focused JEE-level practice. One should have a burning desire, dedicated motivation, and a target to achieve the goal. Without these parameters, not possible to achieve success in JEE. Hence, around 95% studentsare are unable to achieve the target of cracking the examination. From your question, it is not clear that where you are aiming for 2026 or 2027 examination.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Ans: Please do not worry. He will be allowed to appear for JEE Mains and will be allowed to participate in JoSAA counselling. Just submit an affidavit/self-declaration with Aadhaar and matric certificates during document verification to clarify the prefix discrepancy. Yet, recommended to fill the application form very carefully by taking the help of an expert. If NTA opens the correction windows once again, then try for the same. Keep a close eye on the NTA JEE site.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

Ans: Hello

Please be assured, AGE isn't a barrier for implants. But overall health is a factor. Your dentist will assess your bone density, gum health, and general medical history before he places your implants.

Implants have some definite advantages over removable dentures. They provide a stable and secure fit, improved chewing and speech.
And with proper care may last for 10-15 years or more.
On the negative side, upfront cost of implants can be higher, surgery cannot be avoided and healing can take 3-6 months.

Cost-wise, Implants can be more cost-effective in the long run.
"All-on-4" implants might be cheaper than individual implants, but waiting might lead to deterioration of bone health, making the process more complex.

Consult your dentist about:
- Your specific oral health situation
- Bone density scan (to check if you have enough bone for implants)
- Cost estimates and financing options
- Timeline for the procedure.

Ans: Hello
This situation of "2 parallel lines of teeth" arises when permanent teeth erupt BEFORE the deciduous teeth (or milk teeth) have been shed. This indicates a mis-alignment of the permanent teeth. The shedding of milk teeth is dependent on the permanent teeth exerting pressure on them as they grow.
This mis-alignment, indeed, could be the cause of his speech problem.
My advice to you is to consult a competent pediatric dentist or an orthodontist (a dentist who realigns crooked teeth) soon so that corrective measures can be taken.

Ans: Hi.,
Sorry to hear about your fall and the resultant damage to your teeth.
Honestly, it's best to follow your dentist's advice, but I understand your problem. Eating can be a challenge.
Please ask your dentist about sturdier alternatives like dental crowns or bridges. These can provide extra protection and might let you chew more comfortably.

In the meantime, stick to soft foods which do not put pressure on your compromised teeth, or soups. You can also try cutting your food into smaller pieces to reduce pressure on the tooth.

Ans: In future CSE,IT,AI&ML jobs will be more than ECE jobs, but job security is different. For job security you have to aim govt. jobs