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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 25, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Kanchan! I am a 36 yrs old guy married for 5 years now and we have a 2 yrs old daughter also. My wife has serious mood swings issue. When she is happy, she keeps everyone at house very happy with her jolly nature but when she gets upset, she cribs about being alone rather than having a marital setup and even threatens to leave me. This keeps me distressed and everyone at home has to daily judge her mood and act accordingly which is frustating for them also. I believe she is genuinly a good hearted person and love her too but I always remain in doubt that she will leave me one day and that thought keeps me distressed. Please guide me how to cope up with this.

Ans: Hello there,
Dealing with a partner's mood swings can be challenging, and it's understandable that you're feeling distressed Encourage her to share her feelings and concerns, and express your own thoughts as well. Healthy communication is vital for understanding each other's perspectives Suggest the idea of seeking professional help together, such as couples therapy. A trained therapist can assist in identifying the underlying issues contributing to the mood swings and offer strategies for managing themEmphasize the importance of self-care for both of you. Encourage your wife to engage in activities that bring her joy and relaxation. Additionally, make time for your own self-care to manage stress Learn more about mood swings, potential causes, and coping mechanisms. Understanding the nature of mood swings may help you approach the situation with empathy and patience Reinforce the stability and commitment in your relationship during moments of calm. Remind each other of the positive aspects of your connection to build a sense of security Explore mindfulness or relaxation techniques together. These practices can help manage stress and enhance emotional well-being.

Best wishes

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1592 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 15, 2021

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I have a strange problem at my end. My wife has a different mood, in the morning she would be fine and all of a sudden without any issue from my end then too her mood gets off and she keeps quite. When I ask her she replies saying it is nothing. This annoys me a lot. I keep quiet and this goes for 2-3 days. If her mood is ok, she will talk. I do understand that if I hurt her then her mood goes off; then it's ok. But if I have not done anything then also it happens. What should I do? We fight over past events. We are not able to close the issue and come to a solution. Currently we are not talking to each other for the last 4 months. I have 2 daughters --aged 14 and 10. i am very much worried about them.
Ans: Dear M, the lockdown has been straining on many families in terms of relationship maintenance and connecting 24/7.

Even if this is not the issue, it is imperative to understand the reason for her mood ups and downs.

Since I don't have any information on her age, if she’s in her 40s, it could hormonal also. Bringing the past can simply be a manifestation of what’s going on within her.

It is possible that she is simply exhausted from all the house-work that has surely gone up for all homemakers in the past year or so.

Give her a day off every week and offer to take care of the household chores with the help of your daughters.

They are old enough to be part of this and they maybe able to reach out to their mother faster.

Also set aside some time from your schedule as a couple to talk about the day/week and plan for some activity to do together that involves just the two of you.

Marriages after a point in time reach a plateau and needs some spice and excitement.

Taking each other or each other’s needs for granted can cause a deterioration in relationships and it helps if every individual in that relationship takes the onus of doing ‘more’, thinking ‘more’, feeling ‘more’ for the other individual.

This definitely helps recreate the relationship and you get a chance to start all over again.

Best wishes for a beautiful life.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1592 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 29, 2021

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Dear Anu, I am married for 18 years. Have two kids, son (17) and daughter (9). My problem is that though I am in a regular job at a PSU, my wife thinks that I don't earn much. She thinks so much and get stressed which in turn gets in explosive and when it burst I cannot control myself and I get physical (manhandle) her. Due to this all fault becomes my fault and I have to apologise to her for behaviour. Apart from this she is having some kind of problem which she keeps fuming at me or anyone for that matter for anything. When I get irritated by such things she refuses that she didn't even said so. If said so, I understood it in wrong sense. I think I am having too many problems which I cannot explain here. Sometimes I think of going to psychiatrist but don't wish to go because then I will be certified as mad and thereafter all fault and problems will be due to me. If I ask her to go to psychiatrist she won't agree either. Please help how to deal such situation in this stage of life. I love her so much so there is no question of separating from her. Please feel free to ask me anything you require for giving me a response.
Ans: Dear AKB, why does money ever come into a marriage; I wonder!

Well, we do need money to keep the family running, right?

Somehow, external happenings of someone earning more can get into the marriage cropping up as comparisons.

What started as a mere seed of comparison, slowly starts to become a huge tree with fruits of poison robbing even the small successes that you might have had.

Even that seems never enough leaving you with a feeling of inadequacy.

This affects marriage compatibility and comes out as anger, sadness, violent outburst, finger pointing which is evident in your marriage.

At the same time, I am sure your wife does not really intend to hurt you with these behavioural displays.

And that’s why externalising the situation to be your fault arises and she does not want to think that her perceptions are what are causing the situation.

Either you sit her down and bring her down to facts of the matter that this is how life is going to be and this is the money is what you can bring.

If it’s still an issue and she has a hard time accepting this reality, involve an elder member from her family to communicate with her.

Show her the mirror as to how her wants are unequal to what money is coming in and how this regular chatter might be affecting the children as well.

If anyone needs professional intervention, it’s both of you going to a therapist and not a psychiatrist.

The expert can help out things into perspective where both of you can rebuild your relationship with renewed mind spaces.

Happy rebuilding!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1592 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 25, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu! I am a 36 yrs old guy married for 5 years now and we have a 2 yrs old daughter also. My wife has serious mood swings issue. When she is happy, she keeps everyone at house very happy with her jolly nature but when she gets upset, she cribs about being alone rather than having a marital setup and even threatens to leave me. This keeps me distressed and everyone at home has to daily judge her mood and act accordingly which is frustating for them also. I believe she is genuinly a good hearted person and love her too but I always remain in doubt that she will leave me one day and that thought keeps me distressed. Please guide me how to cope up with this.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is heartwarming to know that you have observed something that might be going on with your wife and want to sort this out and help her.
Many women get into a space after a few years of marriage and motherhood where they don't feel satisfied with what they are doing, This may not have anything to do with you. It maybe just be the monotony and exhaustion of being at home and managing the child.
To infuse some energy into that monotony:
- Find someone who can stay with the child for an hour or two everyday (preferably a family member) so that your wife can step out for her Me-Time
- Try and give a break over the weekend where she can go out with her circle of friends
- Encourage her to take up some online learning course that gives her a sense of confidence
- Spend some quality time with her and go out on 'dates'

These are just suggestions that may work if the problem that she has is one of boredom of being at home. So employ these suggestions and if the challenge still exists, then you might have to look deeper.
I hope you understand that this has nothing to do with you and there is no point thinking that she might leave you. By harboring these thoughts, you are unnecessarily adding a dimension that may not exist and it will not help you help your wife.

Her threatening to leave you could simply be her way of asking for your attention and care. So, extend that even more...

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1592 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu, I am 45 year old and married from last 16 years and having 15 year old daughter . My Wife and I didn't have a good relation, We fight a lot, not sure what ever I speak she didn't like it and some how converted into argument , My wife is 10 year younger to me , I used to have good sex life at-least few year back, but relation was not good that time too, some how she is either having feeling of superiority or not sure what , She always blames me or my daughter if any things happen, she didn't ready to accept that she can be wrong . Previously even we used to have fight but overall things was fine , she used to generally fight but some how we do makeup after fight , now situation is out of control, she didn't accept her mistake and try to blame me for all the problem , she do over spend and if I try to control she start fighting, I think she just fight for what ever things she need for her selves , but always criticized / blame other , She pick up fight very easily with any one , She even fight a lot with our daughter . Even daughter some time suggest to go separate road than only she will understand , I try to go for concealing but no help , there also when used to discuss problem she hardly listen , even Councilor told her she must develop habit to listen others but nothing improve, I am not sure how to tackle this , She always sleep alone and if any disturbance she create ruckus , she want the things her own way if not than she can't tolerate . I am not sure but I need help here and problem after covid is more now , I try to manage these things previously but looks I don't have patience to handle this any more, I didn't like people blaming for no reason, it looks some time after doing so much for family I am nothing for my family and it is hurting me more. I will not say that I didn't fight , I do and mainly when I feel broken I shout on her and some time asked her to live the house , This may be as she always says she is looking for some one once she find she will leave the house , She always give threat and always say she didn't love me , She didn't find me attractive enough . She try to create environment where I should feel that I am not important person as well as social , I can write 10 more page around this but wanted to have some solution , not sure what could be best here . I wrote previously too but have not got any response yet.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I suggest that the two of you go and see a marriage therapist. This is not simply the job of a counselor; there is clearly a breakdown in the way your marriage is functioning...it needs both of you to build the marriage back again and the therapist will be able to see and review both sides and suggest/guide you two correctly.

10 or 20 pages are not going to help; what will help is that both of you sit down and think of why you are married and what you can do to rebuild it. Blaming her or yourself isn't anyway going to help...Rather than listing down each others' faults, try to work at this.

All the best!

..Read more

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Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |594 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2025

Career
Hello Sir. My Son has got offer from follwing University.. 1)University of Padua - Italy (BSC - Information Technology) - 3 years Course 2)University Of Strathclyde - UK (BSC - HON Computer Science) - 4 yrs 3)Caledonian University of Glassgow - UK (Bsc Hons Computing). 4 yrs 4) National College of Ireland (BSC - HON Computer Science Engg) - 4 yrs We are confused to select the university / country
Ans: Hello ASAD,

First and foremost, thank you for getting in touch with us. I am glad to know that your son has received offers from the above mentioned universities. As an answer to your query, I would like to tell you that a prestigious and budget-friendly education in a lively Italian environment, along with a reputable academic standing and lower living expenses is offered at the University of Padua; its 3-year BSC - Information Technology may also provide a quicker path to higher education or jobs. Coming to the University of Strathclyde, top-ranked in the UK for Computer Science, this university is renowned for its linkages with industry, research possibilities, as well as outstanding student services, offering robust employment opportunities. Next, situated in a student-centric city with budget-friendly costs in comparison to other cities in the UK, Glasgow Caledonian University focuses on hands-on, industry-focused learning with impressive graduate employment rates. The National College of Ireland provides a small, contemporary campus in Dublin with robust ties with the technology sector, internships, and employment prospects in one of Europe’s key technology hotspots.

Lastly, deciding which university and country to select depends on your son’s professional objectives, ideal learning atmosphere, budget, as well as plans for the future- whether he prefers a shorter course term, robust industrial connections, global exposure, or residing in a specific nation.

For more information, you can visit our website: www.edwiseinternational.com

You can also follow us on our Instagram page: edwiseint

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4455 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 24, 2025

Career
EWS category rank female 30065 suitable NIT IIIT GFTI admission getting sir 2025
Ans: Rajeswari, Here is, How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.

Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your admissions!

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