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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 15, 2021

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
M Question by M on Jun 15, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

I have a strange problem at my end.

My wife has a different mood, in the morning she would be fine and all of a sudden without any issue from my end then too her mood gets off and she keeps quite.

When I ask her she replies saying it is nothing. This annoys me a lot. I keep quiet and this goes for 2-3 days. If her mood is ok, she will talk.

I do understand that if I hurt her then her mood goes off; then it's ok. But if I have not done anything then also it happens. What should I do?

We fight over past events.

We are not able to close the issue and come to a solution.

Currently we are not talking to each other for the last 4 months.

I have 2 daughters --aged 14 and 10. i am very much worried about them.

Ans: Dear M, the lockdown has been straining on many families in terms of relationship maintenance and connecting 24/7.

Even if this is not the issue, it is imperative to understand the reason for her mood ups and downs.

Since I don't have any information on her age, if she’s in her 40s, it could hormonal also. Bringing the past can simply be a manifestation of what’s going on within her.

It is possible that she is simply exhausted from all the house-work that has surely gone up for all homemakers in the past year or so.

Give her a day off every week and offer to take care of the household chores with the help of your daughters.

They are old enough to be part of this and they maybe able to reach out to their mother faster.

Also set aside some time from your schedule as a couple to talk about the day/week and plan for some activity to do together that involves just the two of you.

Marriages after a point in time reach a plateau and needs some spice and excitement.

Taking each other or each other’s needs for granted can cause a deterioration in relationships and it helps if every individual in that relationship takes the onus of doing ‘more’, thinking ‘more’, feeling ‘more’ for the other individual.

This definitely helps recreate the relationship and you get a chance to start all over again.

Best wishes for a beautiful life.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |183 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 25, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Kanchan! I am a 36 yrs old guy married for 5 years now and we have a 2 yrs old daughter also. My wife has serious mood swings issue. When she is happy, she keeps everyone at house very happy with her jolly nature but when she gets upset, she cribs about being alone rather than having a marital setup and even threatens to leave me. This keeps me distressed and everyone at home has to daily judge her mood and act accordingly which is frustating for them also. I believe she is genuinly a good hearted person and love her too but I always remain in doubt that she will leave me one day and that thought keeps me distressed. Please guide me how to cope up with this.
Ans: Hello there,
Dealing with a partner's mood swings can be challenging, and it's understandable that you're feeling distressed Encourage her to share her feelings and concerns, and express your own thoughts as well. Healthy communication is vital for understanding each other's perspectives Suggest the idea of seeking professional help together, such as couples therapy. A trained therapist can assist in identifying the underlying issues contributing to the mood swings and offer strategies for managing themEmphasize the importance of self-care for both of you. Encourage your wife to engage in activities that bring her joy and relaxation. Additionally, make time for your own self-care to manage stress Learn more about mood swings, potential causes, and coping mechanisms. Understanding the nature of mood swings may help you approach the situation with empathy and patience Reinforce the stability and commitment in your relationship during moments of calm. Remind each other of the positive aspects of your connection to build a sense of security Explore mindfulness or relaxation techniques together. These practices can help manage stress and enhance emotional well-being.

Best wishes

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 25, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu! I am a 36 yrs old guy married for 5 years now and we have a 2 yrs old daughter also. My wife has serious mood swings issue. When she is happy, she keeps everyone at house very happy with her jolly nature but when she gets upset, she cribs about being alone rather than having a marital setup and even threatens to leave me. This keeps me distressed and everyone at home has to daily judge her mood and act accordingly which is frustating for them also. I believe she is genuinly a good hearted person and love her too but I always remain in doubt that she will leave me one day and that thought keeps me distressed. Please guide me how to cope up with this.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is heartwarming to know that you have observed something that might be going on with your wife and want to sort this out and help her.
Many women get into a space after a few years of marriage and motherhood where they don't feel satisfied with what they are doing, This may not have anything to do with you. It maybe just be the monotony and exhaustion of being at home and managing the child.
To infuse some energy into that monotony:
- Find someone who can stay with the child for an hour or two everyday (preferably a family member) so that your wife can step out for her Me-Time
- Try and give a break over the weekend where she can go out with her circle of friends
- Encourage her to take up some online learning course that gives her a sense of confidence
- Spend some quality time with her and go out on 'dates'

These are just suggestions that may work if the problem that she has is one of boredom of being at home. So employ these suggestions and if the challenge still exists, then you might have to look deeper.
I hope you understand that this has nothing to do with you and there is no point thinking that she might leave you. By harboring these thoughts, you are unnecessarily adding a dimension that may not exist and it will not help you help your wife.

Her threatening to leave you could simply be her way of asking for your attention and care. So, extend that even more...

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am 45 year old and married from last 16 years and having 15 year old daughter . My Wife and I didn't have a good relation, We fight a lot, not sure what ever I speak she didn't like it and some how converted into argument , My wife is 10 year younger to me , I used to have good sex life at-least few year back, but relation was not good that time too, some how she is either having feeling of superiority or not sure what , She always blames me or my daughter if any things happen, she didn't ready to accept that she can be wrong . Previously even we used to have fight but overall things was fine , she used to generally fight but some how we do makeup after fight , now situation is out of control, she didn't accept her mistake and try to blame me for all the problem , she do over spend and if I try to control she start fighting, I think she just fight for what ever things she need for her selves , but always criticized / blame other , She pick up fight very easily with any one , She even fight a lot with our daughter . Even daughter some time suggest to go separate road than only she will understand , I try to go for concealing but no help , there also when used to discuss problem she hardly listen , even Councilor told her she must develop habit to listen others but nothing improve, I am not sure how to tackle this , She always sleep alone and if any disturbance she create ruckus , she want the things her own way if not than she can't tolerate . I am not sure but I need help here and problem after covid is more now , I try to manage these things previously but looks I don't have patience to handle this any more, I didn't like people blaming for no reason, it looks some time after doing so much for family I am nothing for my family and it is hurting me more. I will not say that I didn't fight , I do and mainly when I feel broken I shout on her and some time asked her to live the house , This may be as she always says she is looking for some one once she find she will leave the house , She always give threat and always say she didn't love me , She didn't find me attractive enough . She try to create environment where I should feel that I am not important person as well as social , I can write 10 more page around this but wanted to have some solution , not sure what could be best here . I wrote previously too but have not got any response yet.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I suggest that the two of you go and see a marriage therapist. This is not simply the job of a counselor; there is clearly a breakdown in the way your marriage is functioning...it needs both of you to build the marriage back again and the therapist will be able to see and review both sides and suggest/guide you two correctly.

10 or 20 pages are not going to help; what will help is that both of you sit down and think of why you are married and what you can do to rebuild it. Blaming her or yourself isn't anyway going to help...Rather than listing down each others' faults, try to work at this.

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1981 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 06, 2024Hindi
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Money
I'm having 35L lumpsum. Please suggest investment strategies to make it to 1CR in roughly 5 YEARS or before. Experienced & Professionals please suggest. I need help. Please.???? Your valuable insights & suggestions are MOST WELCOME. THANKS IN ADVANCE. KINDLY HELP ????????????
Ans: let's approach this with a realistic perspective. Achieving a 1 crore target in just 5 years from a 35 lakh lump sum is quite ambitious and may involve high-risk strategies. It's essential to understand that aiming for quick riches often leads to disappointment and potential loss of principal.

Instead of chasing unrealistic targets, focus on sustainable wealth-building strategies. Consider allocating your lump sum across a diversified portfolio of assets such as equity mutual funds, debt instruments, and possibly some exposure to real estate investment trusts (REITs) or gold ETFs for stability.

Aiming for a reasonable annualized return of around 12-15% is more realistic over the long term. Remember, slow and steady wins the race in wealth accumulation. Avoid falling for get-rich-quick schemes or high-risk investments promising unrealistically high returns.

Prioritize your financial goals, whether it's wealth creation, retirement planning, or other objectives, and tailor your investment strategy accordingly. Consult with a certified financial planner to create a personalized investment plan aligned with your risk tolerance and financial objectives.

In conclusion, while it may not be feasible to achieve a 1 crore target in just 5 years with a 35 lakh investment, adopting a disciplined and diversified approach to investing can help you steadily build wealth over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1981 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

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Money
Hello Jinal, greetings, I have been investigating in the below funds. Please let me know whether I should continue my SIP of 40K in these below funds for next 10,15,20 years. Investing since Apr 2023. Age 33, goals: retirement, children education and marriage. Funds: 1. Axis growth opportunities direct fund. 2. DSP Value fund direct. 3. SBI multi cap direct fund. 4. PPFAS flexi cap direct fund. 5. Quant tax saver fund direct. Reason to choose these funds to get diversified categories as well as international exposure. Adding more, like each funds strategies are different from each other.
Ans: It's great to see your commitment to long-term financial planning! Your chosen funds indeed offer a well-rounded portfolio catering to various investment objectives. Each fund's distinct strategy enhances diversification, mitigating risk and maximizing returns over time.

Axis Growth Opportunities fund provides exposure to high-growth potential companies, aligning with long-term wealth accumulation goals. DSP Value fund, focusing on undervalued stocks, adds stability to your portfolio, crucial for achieving financial milestones like children's education and marriage.

SBI Multi Cap fund's flexibility in investing across market caps ensures adaptability to market dynamics, essential for sustained growth. PPFAS Flexi Cap fund's international exposure offers a hedge against domestic market volatility, fostering global wealth creation opportunities.

Quant Tax Saver fund not only aids in tax efficiency but also provides a unique investment approach, complementing the other funds' strategies. However, it's vital to monitor fund performance periodically and rebalance if necessary to stay aligned with your goals.

There are some advantages to consider direct funds, and the cost savings can be significant in the long run. However, there are some potential benefits to using a regular MFD:
Advantages of Investing Through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD):
• Personalized Advice: MFDs can be helpful for beginners or those who lack investment knowledge. They can assess your risk tolerance, financial goals, and investment horizon to recommend suitable mutual funds. This personalized guidance can be valuable, especially if you're new to investing.
• Convenience: MFDs handle all the paperwork and transactions on your behalf, saving you time and effort. They can help with account setup, SIP registrations, and managing your portfolio across different funds.
• Investor Support: MFDs can be a point of contact for any questions or concerns you may have about your investments. They can provide ongoing support and guidance throughout your investment journey.


Remember, investing is a marathon, not a sprint. Stay disciplined, and trust the process. Your dedication to systematic investment will yield significant results over the years, securing a comfortable future for you and your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1981 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

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Money
Hello Sir, greetings, I have been investigating in the below funds. Please let me know whether I should continue my SIP of 40K in these below funds for next 10,15,20 years. Investing since Apr 2023. Age 33, goals: retirement, children education and marriage. Funds: 1. Axis growth opportunities direct fund. 2. DSP Value fund direct. 3. SBI multi cap direct fund. 4. PPFAS flexi cap direct fund. 5. Quant tax saver fund direct. Reason to choose these funds to get diversified categories as well as international exposure. Adding more, like each funds strategies are different from each other.
Ans: It's great to see your commitment to long-term financial planning! Your chosen funds indeed offer a well-rounded portfolio catering to various investment objectives. Each fund's distinct strategy enhances diversification, mitigating risk and maximizing returns over time.

Axis Growth Opportunities fund provides exposure to high-growth potential companies, aligning with long-term wealth accumulation goals. DSP Value fund, focusing on undervalued stocks, adds stability to your portfolio, crucial for achieving financial milestones like children's education and marriage.

SBI Multi Cap fund's flexibility in investing across market caps ensures adaptability to market dynamics, essential for sustained growth. PPFAS Flexi Cap fund's international exposure offers a hedge against domestic market volatility, fostering global wealth creation opportunities.

Quant Tax Saver fund not only aids in tax efficiency but also provides a unique investment approach, complementing the other funds' strategies. However, it's vital to monitor fund performance periodically and rebalance if necessary to stay aligned with your goals.

There are some advantages to consider direct funds, and the cost savings can be significant in the long run. However, there are some potential benefits to using a regular MFD:
Advantages of Investing Through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD):
• Personalized Advice: MFDs can be helpful for beginners or those who lack investment knowledge. They can assess your risk tolerance, financial goals, and investment horizon to recommend suitable mutual funds. This personalized guidance can be valuable, especially if you're new to investing.
• Convenience: MFDs handle all the paperwork and transactions on your behalf, saving you time and effort. They can help with account setup, SIP registrations, and managing your portfolio across different funds.
• Investor Support: MFDs can be a point of contact for any questions or concerns you may have about your investments. They can provide ongoing support and guidance throughout your investment journey.


Remember, investing is a marathon, not a sprint. Stay disciplined, and trust the process. Your dedication to systematic investment will yield significant results over the years, securing a comfortable future for you and your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1981 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

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Money
Hi I'm Atish, I want to invest a lumpsum of 3lakhs in which fund I should invest please guide.
Ans: Hello Atish,

Investing a lump sum of 3 lakhs requires careful consideration of your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. Here's a suggestion on where you could invest:

Given the current market conditions and your investment horizon, consider allocating your lump sum across a diversified portfolio of mutual funds. Since you're investing a significant amount at once, it's crucial to mitigate risk by spreading your investments across different asset classes.

You can consider investing in a combination of large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap equity funds to capture growth opportunities across market segments. Additionally, allocating a portion to debt funds can provide stability to your portfolio and reduce overall volatility.

Look for mutual funds with a proven track record of consistent performance, low expense ratios, and experienced fund managers. Consider funds that align with your investment goals and risk appetite.

Before making any investment decisions, it's advisable to consult with a Certified Financial Planner who can assess your financial situation, goals, and risk tolerance. They can help you design a personalized investment strategy and select suitable mutual funds to achieve your objectives.

Remember to review your investments periodically and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1981 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

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Money
Hi sir I started my investment in dsp mutual fund with 11,000 from July 2023 and in Bank of India mutual fund in small flexi and multi cap 4000 each every month from December what could be me return after 15 years
Ans: Predicting the exact returns of mutual fund investments over 15 years is challenging due to market uncertainties. However, we can estimate potential returns based on historical performance and certain assumptions.

DSP Mutual Fund and Bank of India Mutual Fund offer a range of equity-oriented funds, which historically have provided higher returns over the long term compared to fixed-income investments.

Assuming an average annual return of 12% for DSP Mutual Fund and 10% for Bank of India Mutual Fund, which are reasonable estimates based on historical market performance, we can project the future value of your investments.

Considering your monthly investments of 11,000 in DSP Mutual Fund and 8,000 (4,000 each) in Bank of India Mutual Fund, let's calculate the future value using a mutual fund calculator.

After 15 years, your investments could potentially grow substantially, providing a significant corpus for your financial goals. However, it's essential to review and adjust your investments periodically based on market conditions and your financial objectives.

Keep in mind that these are projections based on historical data and assumptions. Actual returns may vary depending on market performance and other factors. It's advisable to consult with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized investment advice tailored to your specific needs and goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1981 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 11, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi sir I am 58 years old. I never invested any stock market or shares or any such market funds I was working in gulf country. Earned around 8cr . Now all in fixed deposits. I was busy during my job time. I was only concentrate my jobs .now I want advice how to invest on My atleast half amount MF smilar funds. I also invested realestate around 25 years back. Now all got good appreciation. I have 2daughter and one son.daughters are earning good salary. Son studying.no loan or no commitment . Please advice how I can invest on MF stock linked market so I can make enough better growth than fixed deposits
Ans: It's commendable that you're considering diversifying your investments beyond fixed deposits, especially given the potential for higher returns in the stock market. Let's explore how you can begin investing in mutual funds (MF) and similar funds with a portion of your wealth.

Since you're new to the stock market and MFs, it's wise to start with a conservative approach. Consider investing a portion of your fixed deposits into balanced funds or equity-oriented hybrid funds. These funds offer a mix of equity and debt instruments, providing growth potential while mitigating risk.

Given your substantial corpus, you have the flexibility to invest in a diversified portfolio of mutual funds across different categories. Allocate funds based on your risk tolerance, financial goals, and investment horizon.

For long-term wealth creation, equity mutual funds, particularly large-cap and multi-cap funds, can be suitable. These funds invest in well-established companies with strong growth potential, offering the possibility of higher returns over time.

Consider investing systematically through Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs), which allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly. SIPs help in rupee-cost averaging and reduce the impact of market volatility on your investments.

Since you have no immediate financial commitments and your children are financially independent, you can afford to take a long-term view with your investments. Focus on staying invested for the long haul to benefit from the power of compounding.

However, it's crucial to consult with a Certified Financial Planner who can assess your financial situation, risk appetite, and investment objectives. They can help you devise a personalized investment strategy and guide you through the process of investing in mutual funds.

In conclusion, by diversifying a portion of your wealth into mutual funds, you can potentially achieve higher growth than fixed deposits over the long term. With careful planning and professional guidance, you can navigate the complexities of the stock market and work towards your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |190 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

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Relationship
Hello Sir/Ma'am, Myself Sachin. Basically I'm from Thrissur (Kerala) where I born. But in terms of education, I did my schooling & colleges from Pune (Maharashtra). My DOB is 30th October 1984. So right now I'm 39. Till now I'm single trying to get a life partner to have a good understanding since 7 years. However, no one I got yet. Even I tried dating through online dating app called quack quack where sometimes I get a positive responses. But later on, that relationship doesn't prolongs. In this situation, what shall I do to have a good life partner? Right now I reside in Coimbatore (Tamilnadu) with my parents in one of the senior citizen complex. In terms of education I did my BBA from Delhi University. Also have work experience into customer support voice process for about 9 years. Currently I run my business as a photostat in Coimbatore.
Ans: Hi Sachin,

I understand that dating can sometimes be very frustrating. You have every right to start wondering whether it will work or not. Since you have already tried dating apps and even had a positive experience, I would ask you to recognize that as a win first. Second, let me share some tips with you that might help you find the right kind of matches:

- Write a detailed and attractive Bio. What should it include? 40% about yourself- your education, your quirks and habits, likes and preferences, and everything that makes you you. 10% about what you can offer as a partner. 10% about the type of relationship you want. Do you want to date exclusively, or are you looking for casual? Are you looking to get married or long-term dating? Mention it clearly to attract the right matches. The remaining 40% should be about the kind of person you want to date. Your idea of a perfect partner. It would save you a lot of time and energy on the relationships that start strong but eventually fizzle out.

- The display picture can play an important role. Always pick a recent and clear image to never mislead anyone. Choose an image that shows you in your element, preferably smiling because that makes you seem warm and welcoming. Refrain from over-editing.

- Another important step is the first message. Write a detailed and personalized first message instead of a Hi.

Other than this, I would ask you to have patience. Regardless of the mode of dating, finding the right partner can take time in certain instances. Good things take time.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |190 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1981 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 06, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hi i am 42 yrs i am govt servent going to retire at 58 currently my salary 60pm from last one years i started investing in mutual fund 10k in nippon small cap 5k in sbi large and small cap and this years started 5k in nippon flexi cap fund currently i hav 24lac in ppf account also need to make small home for that i need 40 lac suggest me some should i take home lone or use my savings for that
Ans: Considering your retirement in 16 years and your current investment in mutual funds and PPF, let's analyze your options for purchasing a home.

You're off to a good start with your mutual fund investments, providing potential growth over the long term. However, investing in equity funds for a short-term goal like buying a house carries risk due to market fluctuations.

Given your timeline and the need for 40 lac for a home, it's prudent to explore multiple avenues. Utilizing your savings in PPF is an option, but it might not cover the entire cost.

Taking a home loan could be a viable solution. It allows you to preserve your savings and spread the cost of the house over a longer period. However, consider the loan's interest rate, tenure, and your ability to repay post-retirement.

Alternatively, you could partially fund the home with your savings and take a smaller home loan, reducing the burden of EMIs post-retirement. This approach offers a balance between utilizing savings and leveraging loans.

Consult with a Certified Financial Planner to assess your risk tolerance, evaluate loan options, and devise a suitable strategy aligned with your financial goals and retirement plans.

In summary, weigh the pros and cons of using savings versus taking a home loan, considering factors like interest rates, repayment capacity, and post-retirement income. With careful planning, you can achieve your goal of owning a home while safeguarding your financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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