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Torn Between Love and Tradition: How to Navigate Interfaith Relationship and Parental Pressure?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |538 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
niveditha Question by niveditha on Jan 18, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

hi sir im in a relationship with a guy who i met in hyd we have been together since one year he is a hindu nd im a christian we both love eachother and wanna marry but my parents r against it bcoz he comes from a hindu family and they r forcing me to get married to a christian guy i love him i never got love from my parents when he is giving me the love i want my parents have seperated me from him im not able to understand what to do plz help

Ans: Dear Niveditha,
It’s important to start by having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Try to understand their concerns and share your feelings with them. Express how much this relationship means to you, focusing on the love, respect, and support you and your partner share, rather than just the religious differences.

If this approach doesn’t work, consider involving a trusted family member, friend, or community leader who might help mediate the situation. Sometimes, having an external perspective can help bridge the gap between differing viewpoints. You should also reflect on the long-term implications of your decision. Think about whether you’re ready to face the potential challenges of a mixed-religion marriage, including societal pressures and family dynamics. Having in-depth discussions with your partner about these issues is crucial to ensure you’re both on the same page.

If your parents remain opposed, you may need to consider seeking counseling or therapy. A counselor can help you process your emotions and provide strategies for dealing with family conflicts. They can also offer guidance on how to communicate more effectively with your parents. Building a support system outside of your family, whether through friends, mentors, or support groups, can also be invaluable during this time. It’s important to have people who understand and support your decisions.

Ultimately, the decision about whether to continue with your relationship despite your parents' opposition is yours. You’ll need to weigh the emotional and practical consequences, including the possibility of estrangement or ongoing family conflict. It’s vital to prioritize your happiness and well-being. If you believe that your relationship brings you genuine love and fulfillment, standing by your choice is valid. However, be prepared for the challenges that may come and have a plan in place to manage them. This is a deeply personal decision, and whatever path you choose should align with what feels right for you and your future.

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hi maam im in love with a guy who i met in hyd im 24 years nd he is 28 we both r in love with eachother and wanna marry eachother but the prblm is that i come from a christian family and he comes from a hindu family my mom is not ready to accept him just because he is a hindu and my family r forcing me to get married to a christian guy itself they r mentally forcing me everyday to leave him just because he is a hindu nd our caste is different my family seperated me from him and forcing me to get married to a guy of their choice and in my family there r 16 members who have had love marriages i took help of my relative who also had a love marriage to convince my parents and help us to get married but she is the one who add more fake rumors and more fuel about him that he is doing timepass even if they talk to him in calls they say that he is not lifting our calls at all i have all the recordings but still they r lying to me nd my mom saying that he is not ready to talk about her it became difficult for me to convince them my mom listen to my relatives as they say and so they do i dont have anyone to support me to get married to my bf plz help i wanna marry him only and i see future with him he is the only one who make me laugh play with me like how a dad plays with his daughter i havent got the love from my parents when im getting the love from him they seperated me from him and forcefully bought me to my native place nd not letting me meet or see him im depressed asking my parents to meet him but they r like no we dont like him my parents r not ready to understand and they r saying he is with u only for ur money he also told my relatives that i dont want money but still they r keeping on adding fuel and mentally harrasing me to get married to someone else they r forcefully trying to get me married to someone else i wanna marry him only what should i do plz help i love him so does he
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
What caught my eye was the fact that you seem to have found the love that parents give their children with this person. This is not healthy as you are searching for what you lack in someone else. Work on this...and if this is the reason that you actually are in love with this person, you really need to work it.
Now when it comes to your parents' acceptance, your partner has to put in efforts to win them over and on your part rather than playing this emotionally with them, make your parents see what you see in your partner in terms of traits, qualities etc...And the less you involve family members into this circus, the better. At times, people come to have their share of fun by making things worse...So, be wise about who you involve.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1184 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Feb 14, 2025

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Hello sir, I am stuck in confusion about my career previously i was working as HR due to personal reason had to leave the job and there was gap of 4 years and again after few years had to do new start up from zero and working to Administration department for almost 4 years i am planning of switching job as i dont find any scope and growth to the work i am doing and underpaid here.Not understanding again i should switch back to HR job or continue into adminstration job and also please advice where will i get to learn and upgrade my skill and have growth in my career.Please help sir
Ans: Hello Tanmay.
Nothing is mentioned by you about your qualifications or company profile. Only it is clear that you left the HR job, remained jobless for 4 years, and joined to new startup, but not satisfied there also, and are again interested in joining the previous HR job.
Dear, it would be better for you to join the HR job again. Working in an administration job requires specialized skills which I think you might be lagging. According to your qualifications, it would be better to join some online/offline courses which are helpful to your present job conditions and also useful if you decide to change the job in the future. As I do not know your educational qualifications, it is difficult for me to suggest you properly. For proper counseling/suggestion, please tell us your educational qualification, extracurricular activities, and computer knowledge if any.

If satisfied, pl like and follow.
If unsatisfied, pl ask again without any hesitation.
Thanks
Radheshyam

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7966 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 14, 2025

Money
Hi I am 39 years old married women. I have a son. My husband recently died of heart attack. My husband bought a car 3 years back on loan. We were not aware of this loan as my husband told that it is purchased with full cash. After a month of my husband is expired we came to know that car is on loan. Car was nominated to his brother and loan surety was given by same brother.nearly about 15 days before death the car was met with accident and left in garage. my brother in law took the car from garage and even we asked they didn’t give. there is also car insurance. I am working in a private school and living in a rented house.my husbands younger brother was handling all money matters of my husband. My husband was paying only 4000 rent remaining I used to manage in my money. Me or my son not inherited any of the property nor any money not even a single rupee. From past 6-7 months bank person is calling me and asking to pay the loan. I explained the situation and told to seize the car.but bank person is not agreeing with that and forcing me pay the loan or do the signature and saying that he will send notices. also forcing me to give the car to my husbands brother eventhogh car is already with them. My husband became overdrunker and lost his mental balance 6 to 7 months before dieing because they big clashes and quarrel with his brothers. He was cheated by his bothers in the matters of money and properties. Now my question is who should pay the car loan. I am not able to pay the loan. Car is not with me . what I can do next?
Ans: I'm sorry for your loss. You're facing a complex financial and legal situation, but there are steps you can take to protect yourself and your son.

Understanding Your Liability for the Car Loan
Since the car loan was taken in your husband's name, the legal responsibility primarily lies with his estate.
The loan guarantor (your brother-in-law) also has a legal obligation to repay the loan if the primary borrower (your husband) is unable to.
You are not automatically responsible for repaying the loan unless you were a co-borrower or guarantor.
Since you and your son have not inherited any assets from your husband, you are not legally bound to pay the loan from your own money.
Role of the Bank in Loan Recovery
The bank can recover the outstanding loan amount from the assets of your husband.
If your husband did not leave behind any assets, the bank cannot force you to pay from your own earnings.
The bank has the right to seize the car and auction it to recover the outstanding amount.
If the car is with your brother-in-law, the bank should deal with him directly, as he was the loan guarantor.
What You Can Do Next
1. Communicate with the Bank in Writing
Write a formal letter to the bank explaining the situation.
Clearly state that:
You were not aware of the loan.
The car is not in your possession.
You have not inherited any assets from your husband.
The loan guarantor (your brother-in-law) should be held responsible.
Send this letter through registered post or email and keep a copy for future reference.
2. Ask the Bank to Repossess the Car
Since the car is on loan, the bank has the right to seize it.
Inform the bank that the car is with your brother-in-law and ask them to recover it from him.
If the bank refuses, remind them that it is their responsibility to recover the asset.
3. Do Not Sign Any Loan-Related Documents
The bank may try to make you sign documents making you liable for the loan.
Do not sign anything without consulting a lawyer.
4. Legal Action Against Your Brother-in-Law
If your brother-in-law refuses to return the car, you can file a police complaint.
The car is not legally his until the loan is fully repaid.
Mention in your complaint that the bank is asking you to repay a loan for a car that is not with you.
Role of Car Insurance in This Situation
Since the car was in an accident before your husband’s passing, the insurance claim should be processed.
If your brother-in-law has already claimed the insurance money, he should use it to repay the loan.
If no claim has been made, check with the insurance company and ensure that the rightful person (the bank) receives the amount.
Protecting Your Financial Future
1. Ensure Financial Independence
You are managing household expenses with your salary.
Create a budget to keep track of your income and spending.
If possible, try to save a small amount each month for emergencies.
2. Check for Any Unclaimed Assets
Check if your husband had any bank accounts, life insurance, or investments.
Contact his employer to check for any pending salary, gratuity, or provident fund.
If he had any LIC or other insurance policies, file claims to receive the benefits.
3. Secure Your Son’s Future
Ensure your son's education and other financial needs are planned.
If you receive any funds (insurance, savings, or benefits from your husband’s employment), invest them wisely.
Dealing with Bank Harassment
If the bank continues to pressure you, escalate the issue to higher authorities within the bank.
File a complaint with the Banking Ombudsman if necessary.
Seek legal advice if the harassment does not stop.
Final Insights
You are not legally responsible for your husband's loan unless you are a co-borrower.
The bank should recover the car from your brother-in-law instead of forcing you to pay.
Do not sign any documents without legal advice.
Take legal action if your brother-in-law refuses to return the car.
Secure your and your son’s financial future by checking for any unclaimed assets and planning wisely.
If you need further assistance, consider consulting a lawyer for legal guidance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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