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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |403 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Iam also Married Person since last 12 yrs pass no any child that also a problem in family lots of time became angry on wife and mother so give some suggestion of it Sanjay Makwana married dt 12/02/2012

Ans: Hello Sanjay Makwana,

It sounds like you're facing challenges in your marriage and family life. It's important to approach these situations with understanding and patience. While I can offer some general guidance, please keep in mind that I am not a licensed therapist or counselor. Here are some suggestions that might help you navigate these issues:

1. Open Communication:
Healthy communication is the foundation of any strong relationship. Make an effort to have open and honest conversations with your wife and family members about your feelings, concerns, and frustrations. Encourage them to share their thoughts as well. Avoid blaming or criticizing and instead focus on expressing your emotions constructively.

2. Seek Professional Help:
If your anger is affecting your relationships and well-being, it might be beneficial to seek guidance from a professional therapist or counselor. They can help you understand the underlying causes of your anger and provide strategies to manage it effectively.

3. Practice Empathy:
Try to put yourself in the shoes of your wife and family members. Understand that everyone has their struggles and challenges. Empathy can help create a more supportive and understanding environment at home.

4. Stress Management:
Anger can sometimes be a result of accumulated stress. Engage in stress-relief activities such as exercise, meditation, deep breathing, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. Managing stress can contribute to a more peaceful mindset.

5. Quality Time:
Spend quality time with your wife and family. Engage in activities you all enjoy, and make an effort to create positive memories together. This can strengthen your bond and reduce tension.

6. Patience and Understanding:
Marriage and family life come with their own set of challenges. It's important to remember that relationships require effort, understanding, and patience. Be prepared to work through difficulties together.

7. Focus on Solutions:
Instead of dwelling on the problems, focus on finding solutions. Collaborate with your wife and family members to come up with strategies that address the challenges you're facing.

8. Apologize and Forgive:
If you've had moments of anger or conflicts, don't hesitate to apologize when needed. Apologizing shows that you value the relationship. Similarly, practice forgiveness when others make mistakes. Holding onto grudges can exacerbate tensions.

9. Seek Joyful Moments:
Look for moments of joy and positivity in your daily life. Focusing on the positives can help shift your mindset and contribute to a more harmonious environment at home.

10. Be Patient Regarding Parenthood:
If you and your wife are facing challenges with having children, consider seeking medical advice if you haven't already. Parenthood is a journey that takes time for some couples. It's important to support each other and explore all available options.

Remember, building strong relationships requires effort from all parties involved. If you find that the challenges are overwhelming, seeking professional help is a wise step to take. A licensed therapist or counselor can provide tailored guidance based on your specific circumstances.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 10, 2024

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Relationship
HI MY NAME SRINITHI AM DIVORCE PERSON I HAVE ONE D/O 9 YR OLD .. AM STAY WITH SINGLE BUT MY MIND CHANGED . I NEED MARRIAGE FOR MIND
Ans: Hello Srinithi, it's understandable that your feelings and priorities can change over time. If you're considering marriage again for companionship and emotional fulfillment, here are some suggestions to navigate this process:

Reflect on Your Needs:

Take some time to reflect on what you're looking for in a partner and in a marriage. Consider your values, priorities, and the qualities you find important in a potential spouse.
Communicate with Your Child:

If you haven't already, have an open and honest conversation with your 9-year-old daughter about your feelings and intentions. Ensure she feels comfortable and secure with the idea of you entering into a new relationship.
Build a Support System:

Reach out to friends, family, or a support group who can provide emotional support and guidance as you navigate the process of seeking a new relationship.
Take It Slow:

When you feel ready to explore the possibility of a new relationship, take things at a comfortable pace. Get to know potential partners gradually and allow relationships to develop naturally.
Be Honest About Your Past:

When entering into a new relationship, be open and honest about your past, including your divorce. Clear communication is crucial for building trust and understanding.
Consider Professional Support:

If you find it challenging to navigate these emotions on your own, consider seeking guidance from a counselor or therapist who can help you explore your feelings and guide you through the process.
Set Boundaries:

Clearly define your boundaries and priorities in a new relationship. Understand what you're looking for and what you're willing to compromise on. This will help you make decisions that align with your values.
Stay True to Yourself:

Remember to stay true to your own needs and desires. Don't feel pressured to enter into a new relationship unless it feels right for you.
It's important to prioritize your well-being and the well-being of your child as you consider a new chapter in your life. Taking things step by step, being open in communication, and seeking support can help you navigate this journey more smoothly.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3910 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

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Career
my son is 8 year old studying in Class 3 . The classes occus is in morning shift from 6.30 am to 1.30 PM . after comming from the scholl he tired and not able to study in night . plz suggest the Correct time table for the second shift school child so that we can manage his tiredness and keep improving him in balanced way.
Ans: Priya Madam,

You have not provided information regarding the number of hours your son sleeps.

(1) Given that your son is only 8 years old, it is important to ensure he gets a minimum of 8 hours of sleep at night and 2 hours in the afternoon. Sleeping hours can be reduced once he enters the 6th Standard.

(2) Ensure he receives a balanced diet and nutritious food to sustain his energy levels. (3) Encourage him to maintain regular water intake to prevent dehydration. (4) Facilitate opportunities for him to take regular breaks and engage in play. (5) A 3rd standard student can't study for extended periods. He should study for 25 to 30 minutes, followed by a 10 to 15-minute break after each 25-minute study session.

(6) I am providing this information for general awareness. Parents should refrain from physically assaulting their children to achieve compliance, as this can undermine their self-confidence. (7) They should engage in more polite and loving communication with the children. (8) Children frequently observe their parents and tend to emulate their actions. Ensure that the environment at home is tranquil. (9) Addiction to electronic gadgets may also result in fatigue. (10) Regarding the Study Planner, it has been previously stated that regardless of whether he studies in the morning or evening, he should engage in study sessions of 25 minutes followed by a 10-minute break after each session. He will not experience fatigue, and the output will be increased. Hope, this answer will help you, Madam.

All the BEST for Your Prosperous Son's Future.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |420 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7047 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

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Money
Hello Sir, My question - Male, Age is 29, Salary of Rs. 22000/- p.m., my expenses 6-8k p.m. (Approx), Current Investments: Mutual Funds 2k monthly, 3k RD monthly for 3 Yrs, what is suitable Health/Life/Term Insurance? ROI option for same? or Other Investment options? I have my father who got his pension & he manages our household Expenses.
Ans: You are 29 years old, with a stable monthly salary of Rs 22,000 and low monthly expenses of Rs 6,000–8,000. Your father’s pension covers household needs, giving you flexibility for investments. Current savings of Rs 5,000 per month (Rs 2,000 in mutual funds and Rs 3,000 in a recurring deposit) is a good start.

Priorities and Recommendations
1. Health Insurance
Health insurance is crucial to safeguard against medical emergencies.

Coverage for Self: Opt for an individual health insurance policy with a sum insured of Rs 5–10 lakh. Look for plans offering cashless treatment, comprehensive coverage, and no claim bonus.

Coverage for Family: If you wish to extend coverage for your parents, consider a family floater plan with Rs 10–15 lakh coverage. However, check premiums and benefits before including senior members.

2. Life Insurance
Term Insurance: A term plan is the most cost-effective option. Choose coverage of Rs 50 lakh to Rs 1 crore to secure your family financially. Premiums for a non-smoker male at your age are low (approximately Rs 5,000–7,000 annually for Rs 1 crore coverage).

Avoid investment-linked insurance policies such as ULIPs or endowment plans, as they offer low returns and inadequate insurance coverage.

3. Building an Emergency Fund
Save at least 6–9 months of expenses in a highly liquid instrument like a savings account, short-term fixed deposit, or liquid mutual fund.
Given your expenses of Rs 6,000–8,000, aim for Rs 50,000–70,000 as an emergency fund.
4. Investment Strategy for Growth
You have significant surplus income after meeting expenses. Allocate it to high-growth investment instruments:

Increase Mutual Fund SIPs:

Increase SIPs to Rs 5,000–6,000 monthly.
Diversify across flexi-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds for long-term growth. Suggested categories include:
Flexi-Cap Fund: For diversification.
Mid-Cap Fund: For higher returns over a long horizon.
Small-Cap Fund: Allocate a smaller percentage (10–15%) for aggressive growth.
Recurring Deposit (RD):

RD is low-yield and taxed. Consider redirecting RD savings into mutual funds or a Public Provident Fund (PPF) for better long-term returns and tax benefits.
Public Provident Fund (PPF):

Invest in PPF for a secure, tax-free return (current rate: 7.1%). It’s an excellent long-term savings tool, especially for retirement.
5. Tax Planning
Leverage Section 80C: Maximise Rs 1.5 lakh yearly investment in tax-saving instruments like PPF, ELSS mutual funds, or 5-year tax-saving fixed deposits.

Opt for a health insurance policy to claim benefits under Section 80D (up to Rs 25,000 for self and Rs 50,000 for senior parents).

Suggested Allocation of Rs 10,000 Monthly Surplus
Mutual Funds: Rs 5,000
PPF: Rs 2,500
Emergency Fund: Rs 2,000 (till the fund reaches Rs 50,000–70,000, then redirect to other investments)
Health Insurance Premium: Rs 500–1,000
Final Insights
Prioritise health and term insurance immediately.
Focus on mutual funds and PPF for long-term wealth creation.
Avoid low-ROI options like recurring deposits once current tenure ends.
By maintaining discipline and increasing investment amounts annually, you can achieve financial independence while ensuring your family is protected.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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