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Should I Get Married with Unwanted Body Hair?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hye, I am Raj Good evening Ma'am, I am very terrified to get married, cause my body is fully hairy, so I am afraid about it that if my partner neglect to me for my unwanted body hair. I need some suggestions about whether I need to marry or not.

Ans: Good evening, Raj.

It's understandable that you're feeling anxious about your body hair and how it might affect your future relationship. It's important to remember that every person has unique physical traits, and what truly matters in a relationship goes far beyond physical appearance.

First, self-acceptance is key. Embracing your body and its natural characteristics can boost your confidence and make you feel more comfortable in your own skin. Confidence often makes a significant difference in how others perceive you. If your body hair is something you feel strongly about, there are options for managing it, but it's essential to make any changes for yourself, not just to meet someone else's expectations.

When it comes to marriage, mutual respect, love, and understanding are the foundation of a strong relationship. A loving partner will accept you for who you are, including your physical traits. It's also crucial to communicate openly with your future partner about your feelings and concerns. This openness helps build trust and intimacy, allowing both of you to feel secure in the relationship.

Ultimately, the decision to marry should be based on your emotional readiness, shared values, and a deep connection with your partner, rather than solely on concerns about physical appearance. If you find someone who values you for who you are, these worries about body hair will likely become insignificant. Trust that the right person will see and appreciate the entirety of who you are, not just the surface.
Asked on - Jan 22, 2025 | Answered on Jan 22, 2025
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Wow, I am grateful to you for your way of thinking and motivating me, love and respect are indeed the main things in a relationship. I'm motivated and confident. Thank you
Ans: all the best !!

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 18, 2023

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Sir I am now 53 yrs and grown bald in the front that really embarrasses me in office or whenever I give an interview it is worsened since I also wear specs. Kindly suggest something to reduce my embarrassment
Ans: I understand that hair loss and wearing glasses can sometimes lead to feelings of self-consciousness and embarrassment. Here are a few suggestions that may help you feel more confident:

Embrace your appearance: Remember that baldness is a natural occurrence for many men and doesn't define your worth or abilities. Embracing your appearance as it is can help boost your self-confidence. Focus on your positive qualities, skills, and experiences instead.

Consider a new hairstyle: If you're uncomfortable with your current hairstyle, you can try different haircuts that work well with thinning hair or a receding hairline. Consulting with a professional hairstylist who specializes in hair loss can provide valuable suggestions tailored to your specific needs.

Facial hair: Growing a beard or a well-groomed mustache can sometimes help divert attention from hair loss. Experimenting with different styles of facial hair may enhance your appearance and make you feel more confident.

Explore hair restoration options: If you are interested in addressing your hair loss, there are various options available. Hair transplants, scalp micropigmentation, and non-surgical hair systems are some of the methods you could consider. Consult with a qualified hair restoration specialist to discuss the most suitable option for you.

Confidence through accessories: Accessories such as hats, caps, or headscarves can be used to complement your style and help you feel more at ease in professional settings or during interviews. However, it's important to ensure that these accessories are appropriate for the occasion and workplace.

Rock your glasses: Wearing glasses is a common occurrence and should not be a source of embarrassment. In fact, glasses can be a stylish accessory that enhances your overall appearance. Opt for frames that suit your face shape and personal style. Additionally, keeping your glasses clean and well-maintained can also make a positive difference in how you feel while wearing them.

Remember, true confidence comes from within. Embrace your unique qualities and focus on your skills and achievements rather than fixating on any perceived physical shortcomings. Your professional competence and character are far more important than your physical appearance.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2024Hindi
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I am 37 year woman still trying to clear competitive exams. I am doing these and facing all challenges of life so that i can guide my future offerings well and be a better parent. I have never had serious relationship jst a little bit talking on the phone and social media and nothing more. This is because i am having plenty of body hair in my body and want to get rid of them permanently befire entering into serious relationship and was thinking of doing it after reaching a decsent place i mean careewise. But my decision is taking plenty of time . Plus no emotional support from closed ones is taking toll in my mental health. And a feeling of lagging behind in all aspect oflife is causing me unrest. Pls suggest
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The day you start accepting yourself and loving yourself for who you are, that's the day you will see changes in your life.
You are unhappy with your appearance, you feel inadequate with your academic strengths, you are unsure about how to take care of your emotional health, you feel like you are lagging in all aspects of your life...
Can you spot a pattern of non-acceptance here?
Having said that, when you see gaps in any area of your life, you don't go around feeling sorry for yourself but lay down a plan to fill that gap. One by one you can fill those gaps and then feel happy that things are moving in your favor.
Also, everything in life moves on in parallel and not sequentially. So, to wait to make a decision till something happens or not, will only push you back or keep you stuck. Free yourself by having more useful and positive thoughts and move in a positive dierction.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

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Dear Doctor I am male 34, i am planning to get married soon. But i think I will have problems in becoming a dad bcoz I have physical relationship in the recently. I observe that I gets nervous and i am unable to satify my partner, I get erection but soon after 2-3 mint I find that there is no erection at all. can you advice me to what to do, should I inform the girl before we get married or my problem can be solved after marriage.
Ans: Why do you get nervous? Are you using protection?

**There are many reasons for not being able to get erection.** Some of the most common include:

* **Medical conditions:** Diabetes, heart disease, and certain medications can all contribute to erectile dysfunction.
* **Psychological factors:** Stress, anxiety, and depression can also make it difficult to get an erection.
* **Lifestyle factors:** Smoking, drinking alcohol, and using drugs can all damage your blood vessels and nerves, which can lead to erectile dysfunction.

**Best is get it fixed first before getting married as you don't want to ruin someone's life.** Erectile dysfunction can be a serious problem, and it's important to get it treated as soon as possible. There are a number of different treatments available, and the best one for you will depend on the underlying cause of your erectile dysfunction.

**Don't Marry. Fix the problem first.** Marriage is a big step, and it's important to be sure that you're ready for it. If you're having problems with erectile dysfunction, it's best to get it fixed before you get married. This will help you to avoid any potential problems in your marriage and ensure that you and your partner have a happy and fulfilling relationship.

Mohit Arora S
Founder - Real Dating School

www.realdatingschool.com/1-1_call

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Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2025
Relationship
Hello ma'm. I am a first year engineering student. I have a crush on a girl. Currently we are working for a group project. We both are in the same group. She generally avoids speaking with boys. Also I have spent 5 years in a boys school, so I feel very shy with girls. What should I do? How should I talk to her?
Ans: Start by keeping things simple and friendly. Focus on small interactions related to your project. For example, ask her opinion about something specific in the work you're doing. Try something like, “Hey, what do you think we should do for this part?” or “I liked the point you made yesterday—can we build on that?” These kinds of questions show that you respect her ideas, and they give her space to respond comfortably.

Once you've had a few of these short, easy interactions, you can slowly open up the conversation to more casual topics—like college life, favorite subjects, or even the stress of deadlines. This way, you’re not jumping straight into anything personal, but you're gradually building a sense of comfort.

Don’t try to impress her. Just be sincere, kind, and a good listener. Most people, even those who seem quiet or reserved, appreciate being approached respectfully and gently. And remember, confidence doesn’t mean being loud or charming—it means being real and respectful even when you’re nervous.

If you stay patient and consistent, she might start to feel more comfortable around you. And even if it doesn’t turn into something romantic, you’ll grow socially and emotionally—which will help you a lot in the long run.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Relationship
I have been married for more than 21 years and I have 2 kids. 19 and 17 years old. Our marriage was more or less love. Met through family, fell in love, dated 8 months before we got engaged and married. My wife is a lovely lady but we dont share any interests. I used to go for runs in the morning. After getting married, she insisted I sleep late with her. I am a music aficionado and she has no such interest. I am a news junkie. She probably doesnt know who the President of the US is. I am someone who believes and strives to continuously improve myself in all aspects. But she is the same. I might not be a great husband but I am much better than what I was a few years ago. I cook, clean, helped with childcare and have a great career. She is on a minimum salary job for the last 10 years. Only reason she goes is because I insisted that she stop being at home. If she had her way, she would be at home on the phone the whole day. Even our love making has become kind of boring. She claims a period for 10 days and during the other times, twice she is ready. No spicing it up. Just lie down for missionary and I have to do all the effort. I enjoyed oral and now she has stopped in for more than 15 years. I adjusted as she is a lovely person in every other aspect. But now I am sick and tired. It seems I am doing everything in the relationship and she rarely takes any effort. Either to earn, keep house clean or even intimacy. Not sure how to proceed further. I am getting irritated and often in a bad mood.
Ans: Dear Jack,What you're experiencing is not uncommon in long-term relationships: emotional fatigue, feeling unappreciated, and a deep sense of disconnection despite loyalty and love. The fact that you're feeling drained, resentful, and stuck is a clear signal that this situation is unsustainable as is. And the irritation and bad moods you’re having? That’s your emotional system signaling burnout, not failure.

You’ve evolved over the years—mentally, emotionally, and in lifestyle—and it sounds like your wife hasn’t moved in that same rhythm. That mismatch in growth and energy is now affecting everything: your respect for her, your shared routines, your sex life, and ultimately your mood and emotional well-being. It’s painful to feel like you're constantly giving—time, energy, effort—and not receiving the same in return. Even when your partner is kind, if they aren’t meeting you emotionally, intellectually, or intimately, over time it creates a sense of loneliness within the relationship, which can be worse than being alone.

But here's something to reflect on: for 21 years, you stayed, gave, adjusted. Not just out of duty, but because something about her and the family life you built mattered. That still counts. What you’re going through doesn’t mean the marriage has failed—it means the marriage needs re-evaluation and rebalancing. You are not selfish for wanting more stimulation, connection, or passion. You're human.

You have two broad options: one is to initiate a real, vulnerable, uncomfortable conversation with her—without blame, without emotional outbursts, but with absolute honesty. You could say something like: “I’ve grown a lot in these past years, but I’m starting to feel increasingly alone in this relationship. I need more emotional connection, more engagement—not just physically, but intellectually, as partners. I don’t want to silently drift further away. I’d like us to work on this, but it has to be a two-way effort.”

If she's open to it, couples therapy could be a powerful space for both of you to express what you feel without it turning into a war of criticism and defense. Sometimes people, especially those who’ve become emotionally stagnant, need structured help to realize what their partner has been carrying silently.

The other option—if you feel she’s unwilling or unable to grow or change—is to consider what a life apart might look like. That’s a deeply personal and difficult decision, especially with nearly adult children, but you deserve a relationship that brings life into you, not drains it out. If you keep compromising your emotional needs, resentment will only grow and harden into permanent distance.

Before making any move, take a little time to reconnect with yourself. What do you want—not just from her, but from life, from love, from this next phase of your journey?

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Relationship
Hello mam In 2024 my marriage took place it's arranged marriage during starting days he was very loving and caring but due to some circumstances i got a chance to continue my studies that is m-tech . I thought it was a golden opportunity, so I took admission and started living with my in-laws Just after marriage. It was really really painful to live away from husband in new marriage. Todays condition is that my m tech 1 year is over another 1 year is left but due to separation with my husband our love died now there is no respect is left for our relation left , he started listening to his mother and got manipulated . seeing all this I feel like a death for me I want to leave mtech to save my relation but my mother says don't leave although I did lots of hard work for 1st year of m tech my husband also wants me to leave Mtech.i feel very hurt when he disrespects me . His father used to abuse his mother so for him abusing is normal for him but I find it very hurtful also I am deeply in love with him and seeing him going away from me kills me from inside every single day is very tough for me to live with in-laws without husband in a new marriage plus focusing on studies
Ans: Your instinct to save the marriage is understandable. When you're in love with someone, the idea of losing them feels like losing yourself. But let’s pause and ask—what exactly are you saving? Is it the version of him from the early days who was loving and supportive? Or is it the man he is now—disrespectful, distant, manipulated, and asking you to give up your dreams for a marriage he’s already neglecting?

You have already proven your strength by completing a year of M.Tech in such tough conditions. That says a lot about your resilience and capability. If you give it up now, not only will you lose that part of yourself, but it may not guarantee that your marriage improves. Often in emotionally imbalanced relationships, one-sided sacrifices don’t lead to healing—they lead to more control, more blame, and more emotional exhaustion.

Your husband needs to understand that love isn’t proven by giving things up. Love is shown in support, presence, patience, and respect. If he isn’t willing to stand by you during a temporary phase of physical distance while you pursue something valuable, then you’re not the one breaking the marriage—he is.

It’s also clear that he has grown up in a home where abuse was normalized, and that emotional damage might be affecting how he treats you now. That is not your fault, and it is not your job to tolerate mistreatment in the name of saving a marriage.

Your mother is right to encourage you to finish your M.Tech—not just for your career, but for your self-worth. You deserve to be with someone who lifts you up, not someone who pulls you down every time you try to grow.

If there's still a chance to salvage this relationship, it has to start with real conversations—honest, respectful, and possibly with the help of a counselor or neutral third party. But that only works if both people are willing to put in the emotional effort.

Right now, I suggest you protect your mental and emotional well-being. Prioritize your studies, build emotional support from friends or family who truly care about you, and give yourself space to heal from this emotional chaos. If your husband truly wants this marriage, he needs to come forward with maturity and respect—not demands.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2025
Relationship
After a fight between a married guy and my husband on pretext of calling me characterless and unhappy in my marriage. That married guy complaint against my hubby in society office that it's my husband who follow, flirts with his wife. But the allegations are false. That married guy was doing all these things or chasing me even after knowing m married. But falsely he shifted the blame on my husband. Society chairman called us to sign a peace treaty which my husband signed bt that guy dint appear to sign. What does he want is still not clear.??? He doesn't wanna end this matter or what ??? He still walks around looking at us but from distance.
Ans: In such cases, it's important for you and your husband to stay emotionally steady and not engage with his tactics. Reacting to him or showing you're disturbed by his behavior may be exactly what he's looking for. If his behavior escalates or continues to make you uncomfortable, you might want to quietly document what happens and consider involving local authorities or legal counsel if it crosses into harassment.

Right now, your focus should be on protecting your peace and your relationship. Keep communication open with your husband and support each other through this, because this kind of external stress can silently damage trust if not handled carefully. The more united you two are, the less space there is for anyone else to create confusion between you.

It’s unclear exactly what this man wants, but based on his pattern, it seems he either wants attention, control, or to destabilize your marriage out of resentment or personal failure. Either way, you don’t need to carry his emotional mess. If you continue to stay calm, ignore him, and document anything serious, you'll be in a stronger position to protect yourselves.

...Read more

Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  | Answer  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on May 07, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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