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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11480 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2026

Money
In 2023 came across a scheme by indusind bank which stated give a deposit of Rs 5 lakh get a medium locker free. Initially the bank staff used to missell the con cept by telling gullible clients that a free medium locker will be then people would give deposit of Rs 5 lakh Infact the scheme is locker rent free for 1st year then 75c/o discount I gave Rs 5 lakh but the locker was not given on writing mails to backend team was told take a small locker later ir was scaled up to 2 i said won't suit me give 1 medium Later on the branch head on behest of DBM said take a insurance plan will give you a large locker rent free. Wen i said scheme is for medium & tommorow if you are transferred it will be a problem for me as the new branch head will ask for full rent he said will tell him not to do Under duress & pressure i went for the offer took the plan on realising i have been fooled i called the custcare of icici life ins for return of policy under free look period they in turn informed the bank agent who passed on the info to branch head who persuaded me to keep the policy i had to keep quiet. I was made to visit several times then told loc ker not there lateron was told searching vacant locker in other branch will give you there thinking this offer will be refused i said ok that also didn't happen Again i called custcare was told sent a mail i did still no reply lateron was told your mail id is not registered with us first hence mails not considered. Then i completed this formality sent them a fresh mail for policy cancellarion was told free look period over hence request can't be entertained Went to the branch office in B-1 janakpuri delhi wrote mails but of no avail i stopped paying further premiums. Got several mails SMS asking me to give bank + personal details for moneyback i said it's a missell case want policy premium paid refund was denied by icici stating freelook period over. The bank backend team of indusind was of no help either. The seniors at bikhajicama place office of indusbank also didn't help me out. This year on insistence i sent them my details but was told imoroper so moneyback can't be processed another mischeif by bank seniors I highlighted this issue with bank seniors + ins company but all in vain nobody paid heed As my details were incomplete my cashback after initial display was given of 1 year the 2 nd year moneyback is unpaid. As this is a clearcut case of missell by indus ind bank vikaspuri branch seniors the icici company agents are not responsible in any way they acted on behest of branch seniors Kindly look into the matter help me out by getting pending cashback + the initial first premium paid amount The indusbank branch senior staff & the com pany officials must be reprimanded for their misseeds as mine is not an isolate case there are others also suffering at these people hands Thanking you Deepak verma
Ans: The key issue is not simply non-allotment of a locker. It is the alleged linking of a banking facility with an insurance purchase, followed by repeated assurances and difficulty in getting the promised benefit.

If the facts are supported by documents, this should be treated as a formal mis-selling and deficiency-of-service grievance.

» Keep the two issues separate

There appear to be two connected but separate matters:

– The promised medium/large locker facility against the banking relationship.

– The insurance policy that you say was purchased only because of pressure and assurances from branch officials.

This distinction is important. The insurance company may take the position that the policy was issued after completion of its own proposal and free-look process. Your grievance against the bank, however, can separately concern what was represented to you by its employees and whether the insurance purchase was induced by a promise relating to the locker.

» Build a proper documentary record

Please collect and preserve:

– Original advertisement/circular or written communication regarding the Rs.5 lakh deposit and locker facility.

– Deposit/account records showing when the Rs.5 lakh was placed.

– All emails exchanged with the branch, backend team and senior officials.

– SMS messages and other communications relating to the locker.

– Insurance proposal form, policy document, premium receipts and cancellation correspondence.

– Your emails requesting cancellation during the free-look period.

– Any complaint numbers generated by the bank or insurance company.

– Communications concerning the later cashback/moneyback facility.

– Details of the branch officials who made the representations, as far as available.

– A chronological record of every important visit and conversation.

The chronology you have already provided is useful. Put it into a simple date-wise This can make your grievance much stronger.

» The free-look argument needs careful examination

The insurance company may focus only on whether your cancellation request was received within the applicable free-look period.

Therefore, the important question is not merely:

“Did I cancel after the free-look period?”

It is also:

“Did I attempt to cancel within the free-look period, and was that attempt prevented, delayed or interfered with because of the conduct of the bank staff?”

If you have evidence of an earlier call, email, complaint or other communication, preserve it carefully.

If the first cancellation request was actually made within the applicable period, but the matter was subsequently delayed because you were persuaded by the branch officials to continue with the policy, that fact should be clearly highlighted in your grievance.

» Do not make the insurance company the only target

Based on your narration, your primary grievance appears to be against the bank officials who allegedly represented that purchasing an insurance policy would result in a larger locker being provided.

So your complaint should clearly state:

– What was originally promised.

– What actually happened.

– What the branch officials subsequently offered.

– Why you purchased the insurance policy.

– When you first tried to cancel it.

– What response you received.

– How the matter continued thereafter.

This gives the matter a much clearer structure than simply asking for a refund of the insurance premium.

» Escalate through the formal grievance mechanism

Since you have already approached branch officials and senior bank personnel, the next step should be a properly documented complaint through the bank's formal grievance/redressal mechanism.

Similarly, raise a separate written grievance with the insurer regarding the insurance policy.

Do not depend only on telephone conversations. Written complaints with acknowledgement are much more useful.

If the bank does not resolve the grievance after exhausting its internal complaint process, you can consider approaching the RBI's complaint mechanism, subject to the applicable eligibility and jurisdiction.

For the insurance-related grievance, the insurer's internal grievance mechanism should first be exhausted, followed by the applicable insurance grievance redressal route if the matter remains unresolved.

» About the pending cashback

This needs separate verification.

If the cashback was contractually payable under the insurance policy and you have satisfied the applicable conditions, ask the insurer to provide a written reason for withholding the second year's amount.

Ask them to specify:

– The exact policy condition under which payment was stopped.

– Which customer detail was allegedly incomplete or incorrect.

– When you were informed about this deficiency.

– What documents are required to rectify it.

– Whether the first year's payment was made under the same conditions.

This forces the matter to move from verbal explanations to a specific contractual response.

» Be careful about the remedy you demand

I would not make only a general request that the officials be reprimanded.

Your complaint should first seek specific relief:

– Payment of any legitimate pending cashback.

– Review of the premium paid, considering the alleged inducement and the circumstances in which the policy was purchased.

– Written explanation from the bank regarding the locker representations.

– Written explanation regarding the role of the branch officials.

– Appropriate compensation/redressal, if supported by the facts and applicable grievance mechanism.

Disciplinary action against employees is ultimately for the institution or regulator to decide based on the findings. Your complaint will be stronger if it concentrates on facts, evidence and the specific financial loss suffered.

» 360-degree assessment

From an investment professional and AMFI-Registered MFD perspective, I would also suggest one broader lesson.

Banking products, insurance products and investment products have different purposes. A customer should not be pushed into an insurance policy merely because another banking facility is being discussed.

Whenever a bank employee links one product with another benefit, ask for the offer in writing before making any payment or signing any proposal.

In your case, the most important thing now is not to lose hope. You have a detailed sequence of events, and that can be converted into a strong documentary grievance.

» Finally

Your case should be presented as a documented sequence of alleged mis-selling, inducement, failure to provide the promised banking facility, attempted cancellation of the insurance policy, and subsequent non-payment of the claimed cashback.

Avoid emotional or very strong allegations unless you have documentary evidence supporting them. Use words such as “represented”, “assured”, “alleged”, “requested”, “refused” and “not provided”. This makes the complaint more precise and credible.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11480 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2026

Money
I have purchased jeevan saral policy Rs 4083 per month for 15 years in Oct 2011 at the age of 52 years. What will be the maturity amount. Thanks
Ans: The exact maturity amount cannot be determined from the monthly premium alone. For Jeevan Saral, the entry age, policy term, maturity sum assured and applicable Loyalty Addition are important.

» Your policy details

You have mentioned:

– Entry age: 52 years
– Policy commencement: October 2011
– Monthly premium: Rs.4,083
– Premium-paying term: 15 years
– Expected maturity: around October 2026

Jeevan Saral provides maturity benefit based on the applicable Maturity Sum Assured, along with Loyalty Addition, if applicable.

» Why I cannot give an exact figure

For Jeevan Saral, the maturity benefit is not simply the total premiums paid.

The applicable Maturity Sum Assured depends on the policy details, including the entry age and policy term. Loyalty Addition, if applicable, is also added at maturity.

Therefore, giving you one exact maturity figure based only on Rs.4,083 monthly premium could be misleading.

» What you should check

Please look at your original policy bond and give me these 4 details:

– Plan No.

– Policy term.

– Sum Assured / Maturity Sum Assured.

– Date of maturity.

You can also upload a photo or PDF of the first page of the policy bond after hiding your policy number, address and other personal details.

Once you provide these details, I can help you work out the likely maturity amount, including the applicable Loyalty Addition, as far as the available policy information permits.

Since your policy is reaching maturity now, I would also suggest obtaining the maturity quotation directly from LIC before making any decision about reinvestment.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/
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Krishna

Krishna Kumar  |422 Answers  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Oct 01, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 01, 2026
Career
I am not from English medium background, so sometimes I am not very confident while speaking English in office meetings. I know what I want to explain, but while speaking I take little more time to make the sentence properly. Many times, before I complete my point, someone interrupts or starts speaking, and then I lose my flow and become more nervous. After that I start speaking fast because I feel I have to finish quickly. I don’t think people are intentionally ignoring me, but this happens quite often and it makes me feel that maybe my communication is not strong enough. How can I speak more confidently and clearly in meetings, especially in English, without sounding too aggressive or feeling that I have to rush through my point?
Ans: Hello

Very relevant question, thanks for asking.

Firstly let me tell you from the way you have written and structured this question actually shows that you have very good command over the English language, so compliments to to you.

Please note English is not our mother tongue so we will have some difficulty in the flow and fluency, however speaking fluent (read fast) English no way reflects our understanding of the subject or depth of our thinking. Rather at times speaking fast can make us sound shallow.

What I would suggest is be confident in your command over English, speak in your natural and normal speed and when someone interrupts you, stop and say politely, please let me complete my point and I will be open to listening to your views as well. When you say this you will see that people will stop interrupting you.

Be polite, yet firm. Be assertive not aggressive.

Hope this helps, wish you all the best.

Warm Regards
KK
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11480 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 01, 2026

Money
SIR I AM A 56 YEAR OLD MAN AND A FINANCIAL ASSETS IN FORM OF URBAN LAND HAVING A MARKET VALUE OF Rs 25 CRORES MY MONTHY EXPENSIS ARE 1.5 LAC ONE DAUGHTER MARRIED NO OTHER LIABILITY A HEALTH COVER OF 2 CR SHOULD I SELL THE LAND AND INVEST IN BETTER RETURS INSTRUMENT THE PROPERTY GROWS AT 5 % ANNUALY
Ans: You have a very strong asset base, with urban land valued around Rs.25 crores, no major liabilities, monthly expenses of about Rs.1.5 lakh, and your daughter already married.

At age 56, the main question is no longer only about creating wealth. It is about converting part of your wealth into liquidity, regular income and better diversification.

» Do not sell the entire land immediately

I would not suggest selling the entire Rs.25 crore property simply because it is growing at around 5% annually.

Land has some advantages:

– It is a tangible asset.

– There is no fund-management risk.

– A good urban location can sometimes see substantial value appreciation over a longer period.

– It can provide a useful legacy asset.

But having almost the entire financial wealth in one land asset also creates concentration and liquidity risk.

The property may be worth Rs.25 crores, but it does not automatically provide monthly cash flow for your expenses.

» Your income requirement is relatively small

Your stated monthly expense is Rs.1.5 lakh, which is around Rs.18 lakh a year.

Against an asset base of Rs.25 crores, this is a relatively modest spending requirement.

Therefore, there is no need to take a drastic decision and liquidate the entire property.

A more balanced approach would be to consider whether a part of the land can be monetised and gradually moved into a diversified financial portfolio.

» Compare 5% property growth properly

Your present property appreciation of around 5% is not the same as a guaranteed 5% return.

There are also costs connected with holding and selling property, including maintenance, transaction costs and taxation.

At the same time, financial investments also carry market and interest-rate risks. So it would not be correct to assume that selling the land and putting the entire amount into financial products will automatically produce a higher return.

The objective should be diversification rather than simply chasing a higher return.

» A phased approach may suit you

Instead of selling the complete property at one time, you can consider:

– Retaining a meaningful portion of the land as a long-term asset.

– Selling only a portion if the valuation and buyer opportunity are attractive.

– Moving the sale proceeds gradually into a diversified portfolio.

– Keeping a separate liquid reserve for several years of expenses.

– Creating a regular income stream from the financial portfolio.

– Keeping sufficient growth-oriented investments for your long retirement period.

This can give you both property exposure and financial liquidity.

» Important tax consideration

Before selling the land, please get the capital-gains position calculated by a tax professional.

Land held for more than 24 months is generally treated as a long-term capital asset. Current tax rules provide for 12.5% LTCG taxation in applicable cases, but the exact tax treatment depends on the acquisition date, transfer date, cost and other facts.

For a property of this size, tax planning before the sale is very important.

Do not sell first and think about taxation later.

» Your age makes liquidity important

At 56, you could potentially have several decades of retirement ahead.

Therefore, I would give more importance to:

– Liquidity

– Regular income

– Capital preservation

– Diversification

– Growth to beat inflation

– Estate planning

Your Rs.2 crore health cover is also a positive part of your overall financial protection.

» One more important point

Please do not move Rs.25 crores into one financial product or one category just because somebody promises a higher return.

The portfolio should have different roles.

Some money should provide stability and liquidity.

Some money should generate regular income.

Some money should provide long-term growth.

Some portion can remain in the property if you are comfortable holding it.

» Final Insights

You are not in a position where you need to sell the land urgently to meet your expenses.

Your stronger opportunity is to convert your concentrated wealth into a more balanced structure over time.

If the land is genuinely appreciating only around 5% and represents almost your entire wealth, partial monetisation deserves serious consideration.

However, I would not recommend selling the entire Rs.25 crore holding without first examining the purchase cost, present market value, exact location, rental or development potential, tax implications and your desired inheritance for your daughter.

A proper 360-degree review can then decide how much property to retain, how much to liquidate and how the financial assets can be structured for income, growth and capital preservation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/
(more)
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11480 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 01, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 30, 2026
Money
I am facing the same problem with Finsol Securities Pvt Ltd as this user faced it in the past. Can you help me what to do. Can you provide me the details of the user so that I can ask the user what he has done in this situation. I am quoting his question and your answer for reference. This question was "Asked by Anonymous on Jul 19, 2026" "I am an investor in Finsol Securities Pvt. Ltd. SEBI Reg. No. INZ000328134. I have invested in securities, IPOs and Mutual Funds as per their announcement in whatsapp, & wen portal. Regret to say even after two months still I didn't get my Trade Code and compliance as per SEIB regulation. For withdrawal of funds in my account they demand service fee in advance. After maturity of Mutual Fund, it goes to my account with them. Is it correct? How to confirm with SEBI. Ans: Several things you mentioned are classic warning signs of unregistered or fraudulent investment schemes: No Trade Code / Client ID issued after two months. Every SEBI-registered broker must issue you a Unique Client Code (UCC) at account opening, not months later. This delay alone is a serious red flag. Demanding a "service fee" before releasing your own funds. This is not standard practice anywhere in Indian regulated markets. Legitimate brokers deduct fees/brokerage automatically from your account or trade proceeds — they never ask you to pay extra money upfront just to withdraw what's already yours. This pattern (pay more to get your money out) is very commonly seen in fraudulent trading platforms. Mutual Fund maturity proceeds going into "your account with them" instead of your own bank account. In genuine mutual fund investing, redemption proceeds go directly to your registered bank account via NACH/RTGS — never held or routed by an intermediary into some internal wallet or account they control. Investment solicitation over WhatsApp and a "wen portal" (unofficial web portal). SEBI-registered entities are not supposed to solicit or manage investments through unofficial WhatsApp groups or unrecognized web portals. This is a very common pattern in "pump and dump" or fake broker scams currently active in India."
Ans: You have done the right thing by checking this before sending any further money.

The SEBI registration number quoted in the earlier question, INZ000328134, is associated with Finsol Securities Private Limited. The important point is not only whether the entity is registered, but whether the person, WhatsApp group, website or platform dealing with you is genuinely acting through the registered entity and following the proper process.

» About the previous user

I cannot provide you with the personal details, identity, contact number, email ID or other private information of the anonymous user who posted that question.

The question was posted anonymously, and it would not be appropriate to try to identify or contact that person through private information.

You can refer to the publicly available question and answer itself. More importantly, your own case should be handled independently, based on your documents and transaction records.

» Your immediate priority

If you are also being asked to pay a "service fee", "release fee", "withdrawal fee", "tax", "security deposit" or similar amount before your own money can be withdrawn, I would be very cautious.

Do not send any further money merely because somebody tells you that paying this amount will release your existing funds.

Ask them in writing to provide:

– Your UCC / client code.

– Your complete account opening and KYC documents.

– Your ledger statement.

– Contract notes for all trades.

– Details of securities actually held in your demat account.

– Mutual fund transaction statements directly from the relevant mutual fund / registrar.

– A proper written explanation for the withdrawal restriction.

– The exact agreement or tariff document under which the additional fee is being demanded.

Keep screenshots of WhatsApp conversations, payment requests, bank details, receipts, portal balances and all emails.

Do not delete anything.

» Very important verification

The registration number alone does not prove that the particular WhatsApp person, website or payment account you are dealing with is genuine.

Therefore, compare the following very carefully:

– Legal name on your documents.

– SEBI registration number.

– Exchange membership details.

– CDSL / NSDL demat details.

– Bank account into which you paid money.

– Name of the beneficiary on that bank account.

– Email domain used by the person dealing with you.

– Website/app through which you were asked to transact.

– Your actual UCC and demat account.

Any mismatch deserves immediate attention.

» Mutual fund money

I would also correct one part of the earlier answer you quoted.

It is too broad to say that mutual fund redemption proceeds can never pass through an intermediary in any circumstance. The exact process depends on how the investment was made and the intermediary arrangement.

But you should be able to independently verify the mutual fund units and transactions through the appropriate official records.

Do not rely only on a balance shown inside a private portal.

Ask for your actual mutual fund folio numbers and transaction statements. Verify that the units genuinely exist in your name.

Similarly, for shares, check your actual demat holdings independently rather than relying only on the trading portal balance.

» If you have already paid money

If you have already transferred money and are now unable to withdraw it, please do not make another payment simply to "unlock" the account.

Prepare one folder containing:

– All payment proofs.

– Bank statements.

– Screenshots of the portal.

– WhatsApp chats.

– Names and mobile numbers of people who contacted you.

– Email communications.

– UCC/client account details.

– Contract notes and statements, if any.

– Mutual fund statements, if any.

– The demand for the additional service/release fee.

This documentation will be very useful when making a formal complaint.

» SEBI complaint route

SEBI's SCORES system allows investors to lodge complaints against SEBI-registered intermediaries.

Generally, you should first approach the concerned entity through its grievance mechanism and ask for a written response.

There is also a distinction between a genuine grievance against a registered intermediary and a situation where somebody may be misusing the name or registration of a genuine intermediary.

If you suspect that an unauthorised person or platform is collecting money by using the name of a registered entity, mention this clearly in your complaint.

» Do this before making the complaint

Write to the broker's official compliance/grievance contact and ask for a written response.

Do not depend only on the WhatsApp person who is handling your account.

Ask them to confirm:

– Whether you have a valid client/UCC account.

– Whether the money you deposited is reflected in your client ledger.

– Whether the securities shown in your portal are actually held in your demat account.

– Why withdrawal is restricted.

– The contractual or regulatory basis for any additional payment demanded.

Keep a copy of your complaint and their response.

» If you want to contact the previous questioner

Unfortunately, I cannot give you the anonymous user's personal details.

But you do not need that person's experience to establish what has happened in your case. Your own bank records, demat statement, mutual fund statement, UCC, contract notes and communications will provide much stronger evidence.

SEBI also provides investor grievance and helpline facilities which you can use to clarify the appropriate complaint route.

» Final Insights

The fact that Finsol Securities has a SEBI registration does not, by itself, establish that every person, WhatsApp group, payment account or website using the Finsol name is authorised.

So please do not panic, but also do not send additional money merely because you are told that it is necessary for withdrawal.

If you give me the following details from your case, with PAN, account numbers, mobile numbers and other personal information removed:

– How much you deposited.

– How you deposited it and whose bank account received it.

– What investment was shown in the portal.

– Whether you have received a UCC.

– Whether you have a demat statement.

– Whether you have contract notes.

– What amount they are asking you to pay now.

– The exact reason they gave for the payment.

– Whether you can see the securities in your actual demat account.

I can help you assess the situation step-by-step and prepare a proper complaint representation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/
(more)
Archana

Archana Deshpande  |133 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Sep 30, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 22, 2026
Career
I'm generally a confident person at work, but when it comes to relationships I constantly compare myself with other couples. Social media makes it worse because everyone seems happier, more romantic and more successful than us. How should I stop using other people’s relationships as a measuring stick for my own?
Ans: Hi!!

It’s wonderful to know that you are a confident person at work. But when it comes to your personal life and your relationship with your partner, you feel that confidence is missing. So, the first question you really need to ask yourself is: “Why?”

What is it about your relationship that is making you feel this way? Is there something you are missing? Is there something you wish were different? Once you identify the reason, take charge of it. Address it, work on it, and find a way to resolve it.

But remember, you don’t have to do this alone. A relationship involves two people, so your partner needs to be a part of this journey too. Sit down together, talk openly and honestly, without blaming or judging each other. Set some individual goals as well as goals for your relationship, and consciously work towards them together. You can build confidence in your personal life just as you have built it in your professional life.

And I have a simple philosophy in life: Do not compare yourself or your relationship with others if that comparison makes you feel inadequate or pulls you down.

However, if someone inspires you and makes you think, “I would love to have that in my life too,” then use that feeling positively. Let it motivate you to work towards what you want.

Your relationship is sacred and unique. Don’t diminish it by constantly measuring it against someone else’s relationship. And yes, social media can make this even harder because we are constantly exposed to carefully curated pictures of seemingly perfect couples. But remember, you are comparing your real life with someone else’s highlight reel.

If you want to stop using someone else’s relationship as a measure of your own, you have to consciously STOP doing it. Instead, start counting your blessings, appreciate what you already have, and communicate with your partner about what you would like to have more of.

And remember, no emotion is inherently good or bad. If you see a couple and feel a little jealous or envious, don’t judge yourself for it. Perhaps that feeling is simply showing you something you desire in your own relationship. Listen to it. Understand it. Then talk to your partner and, together, work towards creating more of what you want.

Life can be beautifully simple: live in the moment, enjoy what you have, stop comparing and complaining, communicate openly, do what is within your control, and let go of what isn’t.

Most importantly, don’t spend so much time looking at someone else’s relationship that you forget to nurture your own!!
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |744 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 30, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 29, 2026
Relationship
My wife and I are both 45, and we have a 10-year-old daughter. We are financially comfortable and, from a practical point of view, we could afford to have a second child. Sometimes we feel that our daughter would love having a sibling, and the thought of expanding our family is exciting. We also feel that having another child could bring a different kind of happiness and experience into our lives. At the same time, we have been a family of three for the last 10 years and have become comfortable with our routine and lifestyle. Starting again with a newborn at this stage of our lives feels like a huge responsibility. We worry about whether we have the same energy, patience and emotional readiness that we had when we became parents the first time. There is also the reality that we would be much older when the child reaches important stages of life. We find ourselves going back and forth between wanting another child and wondering whether we are simply feeling that our daughter should have a sibling. We don’t want to make such a life-changing decision out of guilt, social expectations or fear of future regret. How can we honestly assess whether we genuinely want another child, or whether we are just attracted to the idea of giving our daughter a sibling?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is wonderful that you want to give your child the joy of having a sibling. But, as you mentioned, there are things to consider before making up your mind and you are already assessing them beautifully. Here are few things you should ask yourselves:
1. If our daughter is perfectly happy being a single child, do we still want a kid?
2. Are we ready to raise a newborn once again? It involves sleep deprivation, lot less freedom and a long-term responsibility.
3. What if our daughter does not get close to her sibling, as we are hoping?
4. Are we both equally willing?
5. How does having another baby right now impact our healthy, especially the mother's?

These are very important questions here. If you get clarity on these, you will know exactly what is the right choice.

Hope this helps.
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