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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1809 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2025Hindi
Relationship

Hello, I am 35 year old woman got arranged marriage 10 years back. My husband is 40 and we have one son age 8. Husband is nice person but zero physical chemistry between us. I feel like I married wrong person. Recently I reconnected with my college boyfriend on Facebook and old feelings came back. Should I divorce and destroy my child's life or sacrifice my happiness? Please guide me honestly.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you had not met your college boyfriend, would you have given up on your marriage? I am sure that the answer is NO!
Give your marriage a chance; seek help from a therapist...physical intimacy is a bi-product of love and emotional intimacy.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1809 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 27, 2020

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Relationship
Hi mam, from a very long time, I wanted to talk about this. I am married and have a 2 year old kid. The problem is i don’t feel love towards my wife or kid. To begin with it was an arranged marriage and I was not ready. My family kind of emotionally forced me in to this.  After clearly explaining and telling my wife that i am not ready to be a dad she got pregnant, said NO to abortion and even involved my parents. Everything happened too fast and I was stuck in my career. Now I have a kid and a wife that I never wanted. There was no love to begin with and now it’s getting complicated.
Ans: Dear HS, love is something either embrace or walk away from; the choice is yours.

Just like you had the choice of marrying this person or not.

Why exactly did you choose to be forced into it? And now that you have, don’t you think that you need to hold up your end of the bargain?

What did your wife and child have to do with it?

Also, did you tell your wife-to-be before marriage that you are marrying against your wishes?

At least, then she would have been able to have the choice of whether to go ahead with the marriage or not. If you haven’t, please know that they are not at fault for your actions.

When you say, she got pregnant, I would like you to know that it takes two people to make a baby; why do I sense that you are blaming her for all of this?

Surely, if you knew you didn’t want to be a father, you could have used protection.

It’s very easy to blame someone else for what’s not right with your life and that’s what I get a sense that you are doing. But if I were to give you the benefit of doubt, which I would…

I want you to ask yourself: Do I want to be in this marriage or not?

In either case, you have the moral responsibility to provide for your wife and child even if you DON’T love them.

Even if you don’t want to have anything to do with your wife, what wrong did your child do?

Just that he/she has been born into a home where there is so much confusion over love.

Let the child know that he/she is loved no matter what. That responsibility as parents is as much yours as it is your wife’s.

As adults, do bring this matter to the table and discuss what you want to do. Whatever you decide, keep the best interests of everyone in mind especially the child’s interests as a priority.

All the best and be happy.

..Read more

Love Guru

Love Guru   |217 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello madam, i m 32 year married women, my husband love me more than anything, he is good in everything, he take care of me, he bring me whatever i want, he is very good in bed also. We dont have kids because i never loved my husband. Before marriage i had boyfriend, he never accepted me and assured me that he will marry me, so i decided to marry my husband in 2019. Till oct 2022, i used to communicate with my ex boyfriend, but when he got married he stopped calling me and i also stoped thinking about him. Lately, in Sept 2023, i meet guy in my office he is 23, music teacher, not so good looking, not completed graduation, not financial strong but i developed feeling for him. I lied to him, told i am not married, to get close to him. Once my husband caught me cheating with him in whatsapp messages, told me to not do. But still i went ahead to continue my relationship with this young guy and want to live with this guy. I want to divorce and live with young guy. My parents and family love and respect my husband like their own son. I am doing correct or not please suggest me.
Ans: No you certainly are not “doing correct”! Here’s a good man who loves you and treats you well and has forgiven your indiscretions and still you want someone else? You agreed to marry, right - no one put a gun to your head. Now honour that commitment and stop being so fickle-minded. At 23, your boyfriend is really young and immature. Right now you’re all hot and heavy, but give it a minute; realistically your relationship is unlikely to survive in the long run. And you want to hurt your husband and walk out on your marriage for nothing…he’s only ever treated you right. Don’t be a fool!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 04, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I m 37 years old married male, last year me and my wife had to live in separate cities for 9 months and we used to meet twice a month, during this period she fell in love with an unmarried 24 yrs old boy who lived in opposite flat and made physical relationship and emotional touch speaking to him 2-3 hours daily in night. Since I was away I nvr knew. Now i caught her speaking to him and now she is saying she is sorry she fell for him as he was attractive and was always available on phone for her which I was not. I don’t know if I should stay in marriage or not. I have two kids 8 and 4 yr old. Plz guide, I loved her a lot in these 9 yrs of marriage.
Ans: The fact that she’s admitted to what happened, expressed regret, and given reasons for her choices — namely feeling lonely and drawn to someone who offered her attention — is a start toward honest communication. While her reasons may not justify her actions, they might give you a clearer understanding of what led to this, which could help you both explore whether there’s potential to rebuild trust. Since you both loved each other over the years, it might be worth taking time to process this together before making any final decisions.

If you’re open to trying to repair things, consider seeking the support of a counselor or therapist who can help you both navigate these emotions. Counseling could provide a space to work through the betrayal, resentment, and hurt, allowing you both to express your perspectives and listen openly to one another. Your wife’s willingness to commit to this process — to address her actions, rebuild trust, and make amends — will be a key indicator of her dedication to repairing your relationship.

However, forgiveness and moving forward are deeply personal choices. Take time to consider what you truly need to feel secure and fulfilled in this marriage, keeping your children’s well-being in mind as well. Whatever path you choose, make sure it aligns with your own sense of self-respect, emotional health, and vision for a peaceful, supportive family life.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2025
Relationship
My husband and I have been married for 9 years. There is no love or attraction between us. It was an arranged marriage. We have a 6 year old son but he never plays with my son or takes interest in his affairs. Yes, he pays his school fees, buys him clothes during festivals but that's about it. He expects me to be a dutiful wife and daughter-in-law, cook and clean up, take care of his parents etc. But there is no appreciation or romance. I used to be depressed all the time. A year ago, I decided to start taking care of myself and joined a gym. There, I met a guy, who is divorced and has a 9 year old daughter. We instantly got along and started talking about our boring lives. We have a few things in common and I feel happy in his company. He once invited me and introduced me to his parents as well. My son is fond of him as well and his daughter adores me as we have spent a lot of good times together. He has now expressed his desire to marry me. What should I do? I am not happy in my current marriage and this seems like a perfect way out.
Ans: The answer isn’t as simple as leaving one life and stepping into another. It’s about honoring your truth while being mindful of the emotional ripple effect, especially on your child. But you also must ask: Can I keep living this way, feeling disconnected and emotionally starved, simply because it’s what’s expected of me? More importantly, what kind of life do I want my son to see me living?

Children are incredibly perceptive. They learn what love looks like not just by how they are treated, but by observing how love is modeled around them. Growing up in a house where emotional distance is the norm can quietly shape their beliefs about relationships. On the flip side, seeing you pursue emotional fulfillment and healthy love can show him that joy, mutual respect, and connection matter—and that it’s okay to change paths when something isn’t working.

Before making any life-altering decisions, it’s crucial to explore your options with clarity. Counseling can be immensely helpful—not necessarily couples counseling, but individual therapy to work through the emotional layers of guilt, confusion, and pressure. It can also prepare you emotionally if you decide to move forward with ending your marriage.

It’s also essential to understand the potential legal, familial, and cultural implications if you choose separation or divorce. Seek guidance not just from an emotional well-being perspective, but also from a legal standpoint. Surround yourself with people who support your healing and growth, whether that’s friends, a therapist, or a coach.

Ultimately, you deserve a life where you feel seen, valued, and emotionally safe. You deserve to model happiness, not sacrifice, for your child. And you deserve to make choices not out of fear, but out of love—for yourself, and for the life you wish to create.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |12508 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 12, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2026
Career
my daughter has secured admission in CSE-AI at IGDTUW .Going by the reputation of the institute she withdrew from BITSAT,JOSAA, LNMIIT and MHT-CET counselings. But now after attending the college for few days, she has been completely put off by the real bad infra and attitude of teachers there.Only viable option left now for her is COMEDK, where she can get CSE in MSRIT.We are delhi based and budget is not a issue. Please suggest further course of action.
Ans: Your daughter may consider switching to MSRIT CSE through COMEDK if her initial experience at IGDTUW has led her to reassess her choice. MSRIT offers good industry exposure and the advantage of Bengaluru’s strong technology ecosystem. However, it would be advisable to visit MSRIT and interact with current students before making the final decision.

Please also verify the current COMEDK counselling and reporting status, as deadlines and eligibility can vary by round. Before proceeding, confirm that her specific counselling status permits admission/reporting at MSRIT.

At the same time, it is important to remember that no institution is perfect; every college has its own strengths and areas for improvement. The decision should therefore consider academics, campus environment, faculty interaction, placements, peer group, location and overall student experience.

Finally, ensure that your daughter is comfortable and mentally prepared to relocate from Delhi to Bengaluru, and that you as parents are also equally comfortable with the transition. If MSRIT appears to offer a better overall fit after this evaluation, switching can be a reasonable option. If possible, it may be worthwhile to keep RVCE CSE as a preference until the final counselling round, provided your daughter has already included RVCE CSE among her choices. If the option remains available in the subsequent rounds, she can consider it based on the seat availability and her merit position. All The Best for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2026
Money
I am a 49 year old working as an E-Surveillance engineer at a Service provider in Chennai. I am on notice period. I am planning to start my own consulting services as free lancing in the same field. I have also got one contract worth 13 lakhs on which I will start working on from August onwards. These are just my annual consulting charges which will be paid by the customer on monthly basis after deducting 10% TDS. I need to understand how will my Tax liability be calculated for this FY. I am expecting one more contract worth 3-4 lakhs. Do I need to register for GST number? I have always done a job for 27 years. This is the first time I am doing something on my own. Hence these queries.
Ans: You have taken a good step by moving towards consulting. Having a Rs.13 Lakhs contract already is a strong starting point. Since this is your first year as a freelancer, keeping tax and compliance organised is important.

» Your Income For This FY

Your consulting receipts will generally be treated as professional income.

Your expected receipts are:

– First contract: Rs.13 Lakhs
– Possible second contract: Rs.3–4 Lakhs
– Total expected professional receipts: around Rs.16–17 Lakhs

The 10% TDS deducted by your customer is not an additional tax.

It is advance tax already collected on your behalf.

The TDS will be available as credit while filing your ITR.

» How Your Taxable Income Works

You will not normally pay income tax on the entire billing amount.

Eligible business or professional expenses can be considered while calculating taxable professional income.

For example:

– Laptop and computer expenses.
– Internet and communication costs.
– Software and subscriptions.
– Professional services.
– Office-related expenses.
– Travel related to consulting work.
– Other genuine business expenses.

Keep proper bills and payment records.

Personal expenses should not be claimed as professional expenses.

» Presumptive Tax Option

You may also check whether the presumptive taxation provisions applicable to specified professionals can be used.

This can simplify compliance for eligible professionals.

However, eligibility depends on the exact nature of your consulting activity and your receipts.

Your CA should confirm this before you choose the method.

» TDS Deduction

Your customer deducting 10% TDS does not mean your final tax rate is 10%.

It only represents tax deducted from your payment.

Your final tax liability will depend on your total taxable income for the year.

You will receive TDS credit while filing your income-tax return.

If the TDS is higher than your final liability, the excess can generally be claimed as refund.

» GST Registration

This needs careful attention.

GST registration is generally linked to aggregate turnover and the nature of services.

For service providers, the normal threshold is generally Rs.20 Lakhs in many states.

However, GST rules have several exceptions.

The place of supply and nature of your customer can also matter.

If your expected consulting turnover is around Rs.16–17 Lakhs, you may be below the normal threshold.

But do not decide only based on turnover.

Your exact consulting arrangement should be checked.

» Important GST Point

If your customer is located outside India, the GST treatment can be different.

Export of services has separate conditions.

Similarly, certain services supplied to customers in other states can require additional review.

Therefore, share the following with your CA:

– Customer location.
– Your location.
– Contract terms.
– Nature of E-Surveillance services.
– Annual contract value.
– Payment terms.
– Whether the customer is Indian or overseas.

» Advance Tax

This is another important point.

TDS may not cover your final tax liability.

If your estimated total tax payable crosses the applicable advance-tax threshold, advance tax may be required.

Do not wait until ITR filing to arrange the full tax amount.

Keep a separate bank balance for tax payments.

This will prevent cash-flow pressure later.

» Business Setup

Since you are starting freelancing after 27 years of employment, keep the setup simple initially.

Maintain:

– Separate bank account for consulting receipts.
– Proper invoices.
– Expense records.
– Customer contracts.
– TDS certificates.
– GST records if registration becomes applicable.
– Advance-tax payment records.

This will make future tax filing much easier.

» Transition From Salary To Consulting

Your first year needs extra care.

You may have salary income for part of the year.

You will then have professional income from consulting.

Both incomes will form part of your overall taxable income.

Also consider your final salary, notice-period payments, leave encashment and other employment-related receipts.

These should be included correctly.

» Retirement And Insurance

At age 49, your retirement planning should continue even after leaving employment.

EPF contributions may reduce or stop after leaving the job.

Therefore, create a separate retirement investment plan from your consulting income.

Also review your health insurance.

Do not depend only on your employer's medical cover after leaving the company.

Maintain adequate personal health insurance.

» Final Insights

Your Rs.13 Lakhs contract gives you a good base for starting consulting.

The possible Rs.3–4 Lakhs additional contract can strengthen your cash flow.

For GST, your expected Rs.16–17 Lakhs turnover appears below the normal service threshold.

Still, GST applicability depends on your customer and service details.

For income tax, the 10% TDS is only a tax credit.

Your final liability depends on your total taxable income and eligible expenses.

Since this is your first year as a consultant, I strongly suggest having a CA set up your invoicing, GST position and advance-tax schedule correctly.

Once the structure is set, managing your consulting income should become quite straightforward.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2026
Money
I have invested in the following MFs 1) ICICI prudential BHARAT 22 FOF direct growth ₹210000 2) quant multi asset allocation find ₹318000 3) ICICI prudential multi asset fund ₹210000 4) kotak multi cap fund direct growth ₹150000 5) nippon india large cap fund direct growth ₹150000 6) nippon india multi cap fund direct growth ₹130000 7) HDFC balanced advantage fund direct growth ₹130000 8) ICICI prudential large cap fund direct growth ₹ 120000 9) HDFC flexi cap direct plan growth ₹ 90000 10) parag parikh flexi cap fund direct growth ₹92000 11) motilal oswal large and midcap fund direct growth ₹ 80000 12) motilal oswal BSE enhanced value index fund direct growth ₹ 80000 13) nippon india multi asset allocation fund direct growth ₹ 70000 14) HSBC value fund direct growth ₹ 55000 15) HDFC mid cap fund direct growth ₹ 50000 16) HDFC multi cap fund direct growth ₹ 55000 17) motilal oswal midcap fund direct growth ₹ 58000 18) SBI contra plan direct growth ₹ 54000 19) HDFC focused fund direct growth ₹ 43000 20) kotak debt hybrid fund direct growth ₹ 32000 21) ICICI prudential short term fund direct plan growth ₹ 20000 22) nippon india small cap fund direct growth ₹ 16000 23) HDFC short term debt fund direct plan growth ₹15000 . Please tell me which among them I should continue paying for SIP and which of them I should stop payment for SIP. Some of these are one time investment. I am 50 years old. These investments I have made since November 2024 till June 2026.
Ans: You have made a serious effort to diversify. However, 23 funds at age 50 is more than needed. The bigger issue is overlap, not lack of funds.

» Overall Assessment

Your portfolio has many funds doing similar jobs.

You have several:

– Flexi-cap and multi-cap funds.
– Large-cap funds.
– Multi-asset funds.
– Balanced advantage funds.
– Mid-cap funds.
– Debt funds.
– Value and contra strategies.
– A small-cap fund.
– A Bharat 22 themed exposure.
– An index-based value fund.

This makes monitoring difficult.

At age 50, I would prefer a simpler portfolio.

» SIPs I Would Continue

Based on the information provided, I would retain SIPs mainly in these categories:

– One good flexi-cap fund.
– One good multi-cap fund.
– One mid-cap fund.
– One balanced advantage fund.
– One multi-asset allocation fund.
– One small-cap fund, but with limited allocation.
– One short-duration debt fund, if debt exposure is required.

You do not need multiple funds within each category.

» SIPs I Would Stop

I would stop fresh SIPs in overlapping categories.

Specifically, review and stop SIPs in:

– Additional large-cap funds beyond one.
– Additional multi-cap funds beyond one.
– Additional flexi-cap funds beyond one.
– Additional multi-asset funds beyond one.
– Focused fund.
– Contra fund.
– Value-oriented fund if your core portfolio already has sufficient value exposure.
– Bharat 22 themed exposure.
– Index-based value fund.
– Debt hybrid fund if the balanced advantage and multi-asset allocation already provide enough stability.
– Additional short-term debt fund if one debt fund is sufficient.

Stopping an SIP does not mean selling the existing investment.

That distinction is very important.

» Your Large-Cap Exposure

You currently have multiple large-cap funds.

This creates unnecessary duplication.

One well-selected large-cap strategy is sufficient.

If you already have a strong flexi-cap and multi-cap allocation, even a separate large-cap fund may not be essential.

Therefore, I would stop fresh SIPs in the extra large-cap exposures.

» Your Multi-Cap And Flexi-Cap Exposure

You have several funds across these categories.

There is significant overlap here.

For future SIPs, keep only one core flexi-cap or multi-cap strategy.

You can retain another existing holding temporarily.

But avoid adding fresh money to all of them.

» Your Multi-Asset Exposure

You have multiple multi-asset funds.

This is another clear area of duplication.

Choose one suitable multi-asset strategy for future SIPs.

Stop fresh SIPs in the others.

The existing money need not be sold immediately.

» Mid-Cap Exposure

You have more than one mid-cap-oriented fund.

Keep one strong mid-cap strategy.

Stop SIPs in the additional mid-cap holding.

Mid-cap exposure can still be useful at age 50.

But it should not become an excessive part of your portfolio.

» Small-Cap Exposure

Your small-cap investment is currently relatively small.

A limited small-cap allocation can be retained if your retirement goal is still many years away.

I would not increase it aggressively.

At age 50, portfolio stability becomes more important.

» Bharat 22 And Index-Based Exposure

Your Bharat 22 FOF is a specialised exposure.

It should not be treated as a core diversified equity holding.

The index-based value fund also follows a rules-based index approach.

I would not use either as a core SIP allocation.

For the core portfolio, I prefer actively managed funds.

An active manager can change sector and stock exposure based on valuations and business conditions.

An index strategy generally follows its predefined rules.

It has less flexibility when market conditions change.

» Direct Plans

You have invested mostly through direct plans.

Direct plans have a lower expense ratio.

But there is no distributor-level portfolio service attached.

This becomes more important when you have 23 funds.

Managing overlap, rebalancing and goal allocation can become difficult.

Regular plans through an MFD have a higher expense structure.

But you also get ongoing portfolio review and service support.

For a portfolio of this size and complexity, proper monitoring can be more valuable than simply focusing on the lower expense ratio.

» One-Time Investments

Do not automatically sell one-time investments just because you stop the SIP.

Stopping SIP and redeeming are separate decisions.

First consolidate the future SIP structure.

Then review existing holdings based on:

– Current valuation.
– Tax impact.
– Holding period.
– Portfolio overlap.
– Retirement requirement.
– Exit load, if applicable.

This can avoid unnecessary taxation and unnecessary switching.

» Suggested Portfolio Structure

At age 50, I would aim for a much simpler structure.

A possible structure could have:

– 1 flexi-cap or multi-cap fund.
– 1 mid-cap fund.
– 1 balanced advantage fund.
– 1 multi-asset fund.
– 1 limited small-cap fund.
– 1 suitable debt fund.

That is enough for most investors.

You do not need 23 schemes to achieve diversification.

» Important Point About Your Age

You have around 10–15 years before retirement, depending on your retirement plan.

Therefore, equity should still remain an important growth component.

But taking unnecessary risk is not required.

Your portfolio should gradually become more stable as retirement approaches.

Start reducing equity risk well before the actual retirement date.

» Final Insights

Your biggest improvement will come from consolidation.

Do not keep adding funds simply because each fund looks attractive individually.

A good portfolio is not a collection of good funds.

It is a collection of funds that work well together.

I would stop most duplicate SIPs now.

Retain a small number of core categories.

Then review the existing Rs. amounts separately before deciding what to redeem.

At age 50, simplicity, diversification and retirement readiness should take priority over having many funds.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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