Hi Anu, I am 36 year old woman. I am married for 9 years with two kids.
My marriage was never a happy one. We had lots of arguments and fights even before marriage.
I broke my engagement but later he convinced me that he will always keep me happy but it turned out to be an abusive marriage.
He started beating me every now and then after my son was born. I also filed police complaint thrice. After which he improved a lot may be because of fear and shame. Meanwhile I also cracked government exam and got a very good job.
Things were okay but after my daughter's birth last year his behaviour changed. He is not interested in physical relationship any more.
He says that after our daughter's birth he's started to respect women. I tried to talk to him many times but all in vain.
I don't know what to do now. I don't want to leave him for the sake of children.
Now I want to live my life happily with my children and let him do whatever he wants.
I don't know if I am right or wrong.
He takes money from me whenever required but never spends money on my personal needs.
Sometimes I feel he is with me only for money and doesn't love me.
I am confused. Help.
PS: He is taking good care of children and household.

I am from Hyderabad. Age 40 years old . My name is XY and I’ve been married for 17 years. I have two boys. Ours is a love marriage.I felt like everything will be good and smooth but right after our elder kid was born my life changed. I am an MBA and several times I told my husband that I’d like to work. He said he’d help when the right time and opportunity comes. Until then I should nurture my kids as it's my responsibility and I should support him. But in the 2015, my kid noticed his chats with another lady. I was shocked because many times he’d refused sex with me. We’d get intimate maybe twice or thrice a year. I thought he was busy or maybe he doesn’t like my body. But when I caught him he said, what is over is over. Don't raise the topic. Leave me. I just kept quiet. He said what ever happened, I will be the same for my kids’ future sake. Many quarrels happened. But in 2020 his behaviour came to light. For example if I said anything, he'd punish me by not speaking to me for months. But he'd want me to wash his clothes and fulfil other necessities at home.Once I opened up and said I want to go for counselling. There he told the doctor, ‘She wants my property but she never allows me to care of my mom. She won't allow me to talk to my friends.’ I was shocked. I told him 'I never asked for money or property. I just want to quit.' I went home and told myself if he repeats this another time I won't take it for granted. But again in the month of February, he continued his behaviour. He shifted to another bedroom for a few months where he’d watch TV and have food. He'd even sleep in the kids’ bedroom. I stopped bothering. At some point, I felt like I deserved someone who trusts me.I want to quit because he thinks I am a loyal maid who will take care of kids and the household. He communicates with like ‘What I should get? Milk veggies etc?’ He never treats me with love and affection. Now everything is spoiled. I want to have a new life. I want to be set free from him. Please suggest what to do.

Mam, I am married for 13 yrs and it was a love marriage. We have 2 kids. My husband is less supportive. I look after my kids, my work, home without help from him. Even when I work he does not bother to make tea or help with cooking. He would get angry and abuse physically for intimacy. For last few years he started drinking a lot and indulge in fight outside. He had 2 police cases against him. I came close to someone. I told my husband I want to separate, but instead he became abusive. I don't love him. I feel I am his sex slave just fulfilling his desire, if I won't do that he will quarrel, stop eating and harass me mentally. What should I do?

I am a female 34 married to a 39 Male. I have a 4 year old daughter. Since the very beginning, i spent my savings for household expenses. I had expected him to spend money after my daughter's birth. Most of his income goes towards payment of EMI of 2 houses. I asked him to stop one emi so that we can live properly. He told me that he would always block money in some or the other investment and reduce his disposable income. So I changed my career path to a more lucrative one. I am currently studying to get employedvin such career. Its taking time as inspite of full time maid, i had to take care of her without his support but unnecessary criticism. I have made my own support system, take care of my daughter financially and even take care of her outings. When he is home he takes care of her but he is not consistent . Rather he will pick fights about how i am not a good mother. He has these anger issues where once he is angry he starts shouting, criticizing and sometimes swearing. I learnt to not listen to his words when angry but my daughter heard it twice. After every such fight he would apologize and placate me. But overtime i lost all love for him. He gets triggered by little things like a simple basket and then blow it up. Recently he came drunk and hit me. I asked him to stop and he slapped me twice and then stood near my bed taking about his feelings for 2 hours. The entire incident terrified me and i went back to my parents. I have asked him time and again to get therapy for his anger. I can't let my daughter grow in such environment. I am currently planning to live near my parents and live as a single mother. I am currently preparing for job interviews and the forthcoming exams. I keep hearing that if i am patient he will change. That he will suffer without his daughter. But he is not even considering therapy. Also he can visit her anytime. We live some 12 hours from his location but he can just come over weekends if he wants to. I am financially comfortable now and thus taking few months to set my career. Please advise if my plans are appropriate. I am

I am 45 years old female, single child, I fell in love wid a guy during college, he is short tempered other than that when hez ok he used to care me so so so much. We got married when i was jobless and when he just started a business. The business isnt going tht well and after having two kids i started realising he is not at all ready to take any responsibilities, always he is lazy once he reach home and i am working and i am the one who has to do evry work along with work. When we fight he doesnt do any physical Abuse but mentallyy he abuses me so much that i feel myself useless. My parents too started saying that they never saw us happily instead we are always fighting and we are never at peace. I really was never able to understand him. I feel he has too much ego and wanna win every fight. He too says the same about me, but i am the one who goes and solves most of our fights by begging him badly. I decided to divorce him frm last one year but never had the guts tu say it to him openly. Was very afraid. Recently i met a guy, he have been noticing me for so long, we became friends first, very quickly he became my best friend, i have never in my life been able to read someones mind so well, so i am Able to take care of him so well, similarly never in my life i was respected so much for everything i do, or never was i cared so much. My own husband doesnt know what all i like, but this bestie knows. Slowly slowly we fell in love. I have confirmed my thought about divorce, and my Husband instead of even clutching on to me He is saying you just go i dont wanna beg you to stay for me. I dont wanna beg to a girl like you. He is very kind and soft outside only inside my house to me he is very very arrogant and fighting. Once i make this divorce decision public everyone will blame me, everyone will point out me as culprit, but i dont wanna continue anymore, i am done with this. What shall i do now ??