Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 29, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 13, 2025Hindi
Relationship

How to make conjugal life successful with suspicious wife?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What is making the wife suspicious? That should be handled first before moving to your conjugal life.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Dear Love Guru, My wife and I are in an arranged marriage since around 15 years and there is nothing that we celebrate about our relationship, except kids which are the only reason for our existing relations. I am working abroad and have visits for a month on vacation after every couple of months. After marriage, I noticed my wife’s flirting behaviour with strange men (to seduce) during many occasions but initially ignored it. However, I found it frustrating when I felt her to be habitual flirter. I then spoke to her, which was after around 2.5 years of our marriage, and she denied the matter. Soon noticing such perpetual habits about her, we went on for non-talking terms some time and then a storm broke out in our house. My parents and her parents supported her, since I couldn’t prove any of her behaviour. She has been lying since her behaviour was noticed and even after that, but my love for her and my child (at that time) made me feel that probably that I need to avoid any suspicious behaviour. Such storm was repeated even recently few years earlier. I had thought my idea of a second child would improve our relations, but it hasn’t helped. I could still notice her flirting behaviour with strangers and even with known personnel including my relatives. I even believe her to be in relationship with one of my cousins, based on my observations of their behaviour during our every meet, which I cannot speak of due to my previous experience and which will otherwise definitely terminate our relations. Actually, we are never on good terms these days whenever I visit home and mostly converse only if required. We are also not good in bed and I have also been feeling a low erectile in bed these days. These moments have affected me psychologically and I feel very negative about our relationship. My family remains my priority and I have been trying to see that we all are all happy as a family. I have even sacrificed my own family time for better earnings so that my family can get all the best in life. She takes good care of the children and manages the house nicely. I also ensure that we, as a family, go out on long journeys for travel and my children are everything for me. I have trying to cope up with all this by focusing on work and socialising with friends to the best extent possible. However, her behaviour (in spite of my presence) makes me feel negative. How can I deal with the matter since any re-attempt on my part to speak on the same matter, even if cordially, with my wife will create another storm like earlier? I wish to sort out the differences and need your advice. Should we meet a counsellor separately on this to sort out the matter? Keep me anonymous and respect my privacy.
Ans:

You’ve been sweeping the same issues your marriage has faced from the very beginning under the carpet for 15 years. Why?

And instead of addressing the issues, you decided to go ahead and have a second child?

Having a child is a joy in itself, but it is never the solution to marital woes; in fact, in most cases it only exacerbates the problem.

From everything you’ve told me, you seem to come across as an insecure husband.

I’m not saying that what you’ve told me is untrue, but you keep suspecting your wife of flirting with random men and have no proof of it.

Both sides of the family support her and let me tell you, unless she is a master of deception, no one can conceal their true nature so well from everyone else for the better part of two decades.

Maybe what you construe as flirting is simply her being friendly? Maybe you’re just not comfortable with the manner in which she interacts with other men?

Have you ever managed to prove her inappropriate relations? And when you accuse her, she blows up at you... a guilty party would not react in so volatile a manner.

I do think marital counselling is in order. And yes, maybe separately at first and then together.

Contact a good therapist and do it sooner rather than later... 15 years has been long enough!

 

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 04, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, I been married for 16 years now. From last 4 years, my wife has been getting involved with a colleague of her friend. After I found out, she said she is only friends with him and promised to stop chatting with him. But I found out that she was still talking to him. When I confronted her she denied it and said I am unnecessarily doubting her, but promised to stop and block him. But its empty promise and she continues chatting him. she refuses to sleep in same room and continues talking to him late into the night. I managed to get certain screen shots of her chats but nowadays she locked her phone. Her friends were encouraging her and also playing messenger/peacemaker role when she has a tiff with him. I really dont want a divorce because it will affect my kids but seems like there is no alternative. She keeps threatening me that she will file a case against me and my family and also that I need to pay for alimony if i plan to divorce. I indirectly raised this issue with her family but she has said so many negative things about me to them that they seem to take it lightly. I am frustrated now . Please advice
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What sort of a situation are you dealing with? Your wife chats with another man and then she is also threatening to file a case against you and your family? On what grounds?
If at all you are going to file for divorce, make sure that you keep whatever proof that you have intact with you. It can help strengthen your side of the story and her threats can be opposed accordingly.
If you still want the marriage to continue, it cannot go on like this...kindly seek professional help as your wife really needs to understand the meaning of marriage. If she is not interested in it, at least then it can proceed towards a separation BUT living under the same roof and still being involved with her colleague and then behaving as though you are to blame clearly suggests that she is not in the right frame of mind OR has decided that she does not want the marriage.
Whatever the case, do ask her what she intends and then it will give you an idea as to whether to separate or make efforts to rebuild the marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x