Dear Ma'am, I have been in a relationship since the last 4 years with a person 8 years older to me. We're of different caste plus I'm still in my career building phase and I can't even think of taking it to the next level. Also, since last few months the relationship has been a pain in my neck, it has been damaging my inner peace and equilibrium. He leaves and then comes back, each time I'm firm that I won't resume it but I do love him more than anything else so we get back together. In this entire process, I feel too exhausted now and the damage feels beyond repair. He's 31 already and his parents are forcing him for marriage now. Considering the impracticable situations, I know he has already given up on us but continues to be around for the emotional comfort he gets from me. He doesn't understand that it's damaging me, I can't run around in circles. He thinks let's continue it till we can, but what after that? He'll suddenly tell me he's getting married and what then? What would I do with all the anger and dissent within? Everyone around me keeps telling me to leave him because of all these reasons. Also, I'm in my early 20s and I have an entire life in front of me, I want to build my career. Also, I don't feel the need to see someone else just as a relapse or desperate situation, I'm a very conserved person that way. But I do need to break this toxic cycle and regain the control over my life. I want to grow and prosper, but this entire myriad of emotions drags me down..Please tell me what to do? Thanking you in anticipation.
Ans: Dear SB,
What are you? His emotional sponge?
One thing I want to appeal to you is: Self-respect is something that we are so ready to give up for just a little love and attention. And the way you treat yourself is how others will treat you.
You are in your early 20s and you have an entire life in front of you and you want to build your career.
With the current space that you are in, do you feel you are choosing wisely to fulfil what you want from life and for yourself?
Also, are there other ways in which you can bring this relationship together. Like sitting him down and talking; maybe an elder in the family can do this.
If nothing works, remember, your life, your choice, your terms…nothing and no one can mess with your peace of mind unless you give them the permission to do so.
You want to prosper, then think and act in a manner that will allow you to prosperity and think of losing all that is keeping from feeling this prosperity.
Step up, take charge of your life NOW. All the best.
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