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Struggling for Trust: How Can I Earn It Back?

Anu Krishna |1442 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by arun on Jan 12, 2025Hindi

Relationship

How can I convince anyone for having trust over me ?

Ans: Dear Arun,
You cannot convince anyone of anything. Especially when it comes to TRUST, it's not a mere word. Display this in action where you do what you say/promise and be consistent with it. Trust then builds over time.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Question by Anirban - Apr 12, 2023Hindi

Relationship

I'm a 19 year-old-boy and I have been in a relationship for 1 year. We know each other a lot as we're best friends before we decided to be couple. But due to some incidents I'm having trust issues. She is a little bit desirable with me only but I'm imagining if she gets intimated with any other due to her excitement or if she leaves me. I really want to trust her. I've experienced this before when I was in another relationship 5 years back. Maybe it's my past which is hovering. I don't know. I want to believe her. How can I ?

Ans: Dear Anirban,

It seems to be that you are having a little bit of a trust issue, which is normal at your age. But look, you have known your girlfriend for quite some time now. Is she capable of being dishonest with you? Yes, there are differences between being someone's best friend and someone's romantic partner, but the person and their innate nature stay more or less the same. You know her better than anyone. Ask yourself. If there is still some sliver of doubt, the best thing would be to have a clear and honest discussion about the same with her. Communicate to her, without sounding accusatory, that you have been feeling this way lately.

In my experience, if your gut tells you there's some reason to worry, there usually is. But you are young, and your intuitions can very well be clouded by emotions running high and insecurities that come with that age. The best course of action is to talk it out. You will have clarity.

And hey, your past is in the past. What happened there, and how you were or weren't treated cannot be the yardstick for everything that is happening and is yet to happen in your life. You are too young to hang back in the past.

Best Wishes!

Anu Krishna |1442 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 31, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 12, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi mam, In past I have been fooled a lot of times and my trust have been broken a lot close ones because of which im facing a lot of trust issues , and this problem having been there for a long time has lead to a mew problem pf overthinking which is affecting my decision making process a lot . Need your suggestion on this , pls help

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Firstly, it's people's loss in terms of your connection with them when you begin to lose trust in them due to their actions...
Having said this, it will also be wise to bear in mind that it is not necessary to sharing too many details of your life with people who really are not that close to you. At times people can use this against you. Your choice of people within your immediate circle is something that you must be careful about as well!
Now overthinking due to all of this is something that you can control. If overthinking is more about WHY is this happening to me rather than WHAT can I do about this, then you know that you have begun to indulge in self-pity. Instead ask yourself: What can I do to change this for myself; you will begin to take charge of who you invite into your life and what and how you want to navigate these relationships.

All the best!

Kanchan Rai |496 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 28, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hello sir, we have completed 8 months of marriage and still my husband has trust issues about me, like I would have relation or contact with other person but I'm not having any relationship with anyone after marriage and even not connecting to anyone nor any ex person called or contact me from any media or app, . Since then I'm trying to clear my husbands doubt every time he asks me about it ...plzz tell me how do I make him to trust me .

Ans: The first thing to consider is that trust is something that takes time to build, and it is not something you can simply “prove” by answering his questions or explaining yourself over and over again. Trust is a process that requires consistent actions over time, and both partners need to contribute to that process. While you’re being open and transparent, it’s also important that your husband acknowledges that trust is a two-way street. He may have unresolved issues or past experiences that make it difficult for him to feel secure, and these need to be addressed if you want to move forward in a healthy way.

One of the challenges you face is the need for patience—both with him and with yourself. Reassuring your husband is important, but it’s equally important to create a space for deeper conversations about the root of his insecurities. Have you been able to sit down with him and gently ask what specifically triggers his doubts? You may want to approach this from a place of curiosity and care, without getting defensive. Understanding the underlying causes of his fears can give you both a clearer sense of how to work together to address them.

At the same time, it’s important to set emotional boundaries for yourself. While you want to support your husband, you shouldn’t feel like you need to constantly prove your loyalty or justify your actions. If you find yourself repeating the same explanations or feeling pressured to give constant reassurances, it can be emotionally draining. It’s okay to acknowledge his fears, but also to let him know that trust is something that needs to be built over time, and you need space to nurture the relationship without feeling constantly questioned.

In cases where trust issues persist despite your best efforts, it can sometimes be helpful to involve a third party, like a therapist or counselor. It may feel intimidating or unnecessary at first, but professional help can provide a neutral space for both of you to explore deeper issues—whether they are related to past experiences, emotional insecurities, or patterns of behavior. A counselor can also guide you in having more productive conversations and finding healthier ways to cope with these challenges as a couple.

Finally, remember that this process is not just about reassuring your husband, but also about protecting your own emotional wellbeing. You are not responsible for his insecurities, and while you can support him, you also deserve a relationship where you feel seen, heard, and trusted. It’s important to take care of your emotional health, too, and to know that you deserve a relationship built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. Healing takes time, and while the journey may not be easy, with the right support and communication, it is possible for both of you to work through this.

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7550 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2025

Question by arun - Jan 12, 2025Hindi

Money

How can I earn trust for money

Ans: Earning trust with money requires honesty, consistency, and transparency. Fulfill financial commitments promptly and avoid misleading others. Be accountable and clearly communicate your intentions and decisions. Manage your finances responsibly, demonstrating reliability. Prioritise relationships over monetary gains to build goodwill. Sharing financial knowledge and supporting others in need further strengthens trust. Integrity and fairness in all financial dealings are key to maintaining long-term credibility and trustworthiness.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Latest Questions

Anu Krishna |1442 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi

Relationship

My wife died in 2017 cause of death was unknown but I had doubt that she ingested something and it was because of me as I was always keeping distance between her. This thought never let me sleeps peacefully I always think if she ingested something what amount of trouble she was experienced.I feel so guilty that this thought gives me panic attack.I am an able to breath. Is this what we call karma which return it way of this deadliest thought. Kindly help me how I can surpass this thought and live healthy life.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I strongly suggest that you see an expert who can help you with this entire journey. It's not simple yet it can have a solution for you. Approach a professional and let them work with you guiding you step by step on not only releasing guilt BUT also work on your past relationship with your late wife which needs closure.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1442 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Hello..I met him on Jan 4 th of 2024.. this year he is not with me. We were in a relationship for almost 8 months. Everything was fine and blissful. Last December he told me he needs some time to decide about our relationship. First of all it was a blow to my confidence..I thought he will stay by my side no matter what it is. After a few days he told me he wants to move on. I was in no contact for 10 days. After I went back and called him..he told me he is talking with another girl and he likes her and going to marry her. My world was broken. The reason for this? Our horoscopes doesn't match also he brings up caste differences even though there is not much difference. We were each other's best friends cared and loved each other so much. Stood by eachother's tough times..I begged him I cried d...I lost all my self respect..I somehow wanted to keep him with me...but he threw me away. It pains a lot. I haven't recovered yet..but he is going to marry her very soon...the toughest part here is I have to see him everyday atleast for the next 6 months. How will I handle if he gets engaged? How will I handle when he gives out his wedding cards? I have big goals in life I want to achieve them. But I am terrified what if it all crumbles because of my inability to handle this pain and suffering? What should I do? Your suggestion is very much needed.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You did invest too much of yourself in him; but who can stop the way feelings move, right?
As hard as it maybe to accept this reality, move on...initially, it will be painful, but it's not worth losing yourself to anyone. Protect your identity and know that it does not stem from anyone or anything BUT it's YOU who defines it.
Maybe the past year that you lost time and could not focus on your goals, this year can be your year. Let him do what he needs to; why focus on someone who did not have the decency or courage to tell you things on your face. What will you gain by actually being with a person like that? I am sure you deserve much more...
Your goals and aspirations need you; go for it!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1442 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi

Relationship

My wife has started following Premanand ji maharaj and has stopped any intimacy between us since last one year. This has resulted v badly on me as my address level has increased, my blood pressure has increased and I have started feeling lonely. Have spoken to her several times, but no change.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At times, spiritual paths can temporarily derail people from what they are used to; it can just be a new way of living life...But since this is over a year and it has begun to bother you, don't you think you must talk to your wife and tell her how you feel. If you are quiet about it, obviously she's going to go with her changes and not think much about how things are getting affected back home; which she in fact should.
It is easy for people to get swayed by influential people and forget who they are and what they must be doing. I only hope this change is a temporary one and that your wife comes back to where she belongs and adopts the changes into her life positively,

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1442 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Question by Work - Jan 11, 2025Hindi

Relationship

The seconds of time during taking action..I get into the overthinking/over-analysing thoughts... 1. Imaginative: Where I becom's the character & live life(see images, speak..) in those..like being rich,powerfull,disciplined,wife,kids....things which I want/perceive from social media...+ memos of past also.. 2. Stuck: Where I becom's a "OBJECT" & voices + images of brain guides me to quit task's when doing things/challenging...by saying.. *What this thing(task/book..) gonna benefit you? *Don't do it, you will do worse/fail..people gonna judge/laugh to you...look yourself!!..no good face, no good dress, u don't hv courage/skill to do that thing. 3. Coping: "Quit it" & use Mobile(songs,reels,yt videos..) to stop/distract myself from those dark clouds. i) What/How [solution] to don't get stuck in those next time. ii) How to use that overthinking for my advantage.. with hving control. iii) I tried to fill the possible voids by dress/looks but things were same..so it's internal.. What to do for that?

Ans: Dear Work,
Overthinking and over processing never helped anyone. Focus on your self-talk and change that.
- Journaling
- Sports
- Art work
- Meditation
- Breathwork
These are a few ways in which you can attempt to slow down the mind from racing thoughts. Once that happens, work on your self-talk to make it more useful where you start to direct yourself towards what you want to do.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Mayank Chandel |1965 Answers |Ask -Follow

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Question by SS - Jan 12, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir 1 have 6 year gap between class 10 and 12 and now I cleared jee exam so I am able to get any nit if I have 6 year gap between 10 and 12

Ans: Hi SS
For appearing in the JEE Main 2025, there is no age limit for the candidates. Candidates who have passed the class 12 or are in equivalent examination in 2023, 2024 or appearing in 2025 irrespective of their age can appear in the JEE Main - 2025

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Question by Vaishnavi - Jan 16, 2025Hindi

Career

I had given improvement exam but scored less than original exam during form filling of neet what marksheet's roll no. Should i fill in neet form

Ans: Hi Vaishnavi
you should fill only the roll no of that marksheet with more marks.

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir, my daughter has got 22nd morning shift for her jee mains, being first anything to be prepared or to be careful? Pls guide

Ans: All the BEST for your Daughter's JEE January Session. All instructions clearly explained just 1-week back in EduJob360 YouTube Channel. Please advise your daughter to watch the same when time permits. MOST IMPORTANT: Please take her to the Exam Centre (even if it is nearby) tomorrow morning to know the time taken to reach the centre, spend around 30 minutes there and come back (to remove her exam fear). SECOND IMPORTANT: To have very light food on 22nd morning and carry a transparent small water bottle (if allowed inside the hall). For the rest, please wath the video which is in detail. Once again, All The BEST for your Daughter's JEE & other Entrance Exams. Please follow RediffGURUS to know more on 'Careers | Jobs | Education'.

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7550 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Question by Prajwal - Jan 19, 2025Hindi

Money

Hello Sir. I have Rs1,00,000 that I want to invest as a lump sum in SBI Mutual Funds for the long term (15+ years). Considering that SBI has one of the largest Asset Management Companies (AMCs), could you please recommend which SBI Mutual Funds would be suitable for such an investment and have the potential to deliver good returns over this period? I am doing this investment for my daughter's education.

Ans: Your decision to invest Rs 1,00,000 for your daughter's education is commendable. A long-term horizon of 15+ years offers significant growth potential through mutual funds. Below are insights and recommendations to guide your investment.

Why SBI Mutual Funds?

SBI is one of India’s largest and most trusted AMCs.

They offer a wide range of funds suitable for different goals and risk levels.

Their consistent performance track record reflects sound fund management.

Key Factors to Consider for Long-Term Investments

Investment Objective:

Education is a critical financial goal.

Focus on wealth accumulation through equity-oriented funds.

Risk Appetite:

Equity funds involve volatility but offer high growth.

Ensure alignment with your risk tolerance.

Fund Type Selection:

Choose funds based on asset allocation and diversification.

Evaluate the performance of large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid funds.

Tax Implications:

LTCG over Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Understand taxation for equity and debt funds.

Suggested Fund Categories for Your Investment

1. Large-Cap Funds

Invest in funds focusing on well-established companies.

They offer stability and moderate risk.

Suitable for conservative investors.

2. Mid-Cap Funds

These funds focus on medium-sized companies with high growth potential.

They are riskier than large-cap funds but offer higher returns.

Suitable for investors willing to take calculated risks.

3. Flexi-Cap Funds

Invest across large, mid, and small-cap companies.

They offer diversification and the flexibility to adapt to market conditions.

Ideal for investors seeking balanced growth.

4. Equity-Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS)

ELSS funds offer tax benefits under Section 80C.

They have a lock-in period of three years.

Suitable for investors aiming for tax-efficient long-term growth.

5. Hybrid Funds

Invest in a mix of equity and debt instruments.

They offer stability through debt and growth through equity.

Suitable for moderate-risk investors.

Benefits of Investing Through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP)

CFPs offer expert guidance tailored to your goals.

They help monitor fund performance regularly.

They ensure optimal fund selection and rebalancing.

Regular plans through CFPs provide dedicated service and support.

Why Choose Actively Managed Funds?

Active funds aim to outperform benchmarks through expert fund management.

They offer higher potential returns compared to index funds.

Fund managers actively adjust portfolios based on market trends.

Ideal for long-term investors seeking growth.

Key Steps to Start Your Investment

Define your financial goal clearly.

Consult with a CFP for fund selection.

Review the chosen fund’s historical performance and portfolio composition.

Use SIPs for additional investments to benefit from rupee cost averaging.

Monitor your portfolio periodically to ensure alignment with your goals.

Final Insights

Investing in SBI Mutual Funds is a smart choice for your daughter’s education. Selecting the right fund category ensures growth and stability over 15+ years. Partnering with a Certified Financial Planner ensures professional guidance and optimal returns. Stay committed to your goal, review your investments regularly, and focus on long-term growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7550 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi

Money

I am an NRI with an NRO trading account through Zerodha, but I cannot trade in F&O and Intraday. I have been filing my returns consistently though I have had no income in India in the last 10 years. But I have investments in MF, PPF, NPS, Medical and Life Insurances, ULIPs which were initiated while working in India and had tax saving options and it is being continued. I would like to trade in F&O and Intraday. My wife is not employed till date and has a regular savings account with the Bank which is Resident Indian normal account. She has never filed any IT returns since as there was no income and transactions from my side were only for family maintenance. My question is, can I open a regular trading account in her name so that we can do trading in F&O and Intraday? What are the necessary things which I need to follow for filing IT returns and how my investments can be helpful to file returns through her account. She doesn't have any investments except LIC & Health Insurance policies in her name for which I pay from myside.

Ans: Yes, you can open a trading account in your wife's name to trade in F&O and intraday; however, there are a few important considerations:

Steps to Open a Trading Account:
Convert Savings Account to a Trading-Compatible Account: Ensure her existing bank account supports trading transactions. If not, convert it to a trading-compatible savings account.
KYC Compliance: Complete her KYC process with updated details, including PAN, Aadhaar, and a valid address proof.
Link Demat and Trading Account: Open a Demat and trading account in her name with a broker that supports F&O and intraday trading for resident individuals.
Nominate a Separate Source of Funds: Ensure the funds transferred to her account are not directly linked to your NRI account to avoid legal and taxation issues.
Tax Implications:
Income from Trading: Any income generated from trading in her account will be considered her income. Since she has no other sources of income, her income from trading may be taxed as per the slab rate applicable to her.
Gift Declarations: Funds transferred to her account can be considered a gift. Gifts from a spouse are exempt from tax, but the income generated (through trading) will be clubbed with your income under Section 64 of the Income Tax Act.
Filing IT Returns:
She will need to file her own ITR if her total income (including trading profits) exceeds the taxable limit (Rs. 2.5 lakhs for individuals below 60).
Any clubbed income will still require an ITR to declare the source and details.
Investments for IT Filing:
Investments in her name (e.g., LIC and health insurance) can help:

Claim deductions under Section 80C for LIC premiums.
Claim deductions under Section 80D for health insurance premiums.
Alternative Suggestions:
Joint Investments: Instead of opening an account in her name, consider using investments in her name (LIC, insurance, etc.) to improve her financial standing without additional compliance.
Professional Advice: Engage a CA familiar with NRI taxation and clubbing provisions to ensure full compliance and proper structuring.
If you'd like detailed help with tax planning, compliance, or investment strategies, let me know!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment.

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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