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Torn Between Arranged Marriage and Love: What Should I Do?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |628 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 23, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hii ma'am, I'm having a problem in relationship. My parents are fixing my marriage but i love an another guy and my bf is getting scared of loosing me and as I'm facing too much problem for this marriage he is telling to break our relationship and stop talking with each other. What should i do now plz suggest me

Ans: The first step is to get clear on what you truly want. Do you see a future with your boyfriend, and are you willing to stand by him despite the challenges? If so, have an open conversation with your family. Calmly explain your feelings, why he matters to you, and why you believe he's the right person.

Talk to your boyfriend too—acknowledge his fears, but let him know how much he means to you. If he’s still pulling away, it might mean he’s not ready to face these challenges. In the end, you deserve to be with someone who is willing to fight for the relationship. Make sure your decisions prioritize your long-term happiness.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |628 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
HI ma'am, i am 30 years old women. I hv never been in any relationship with anyone in my life. But from one year 4 months I'm talking with my cousins neighbor, we both became good friends.6 months ago we decided to get into relationship. We both are in a very good relationship, we are very very happy with each other. He is my home and I'm his home, But the most serious issue here is He is married and have 4 year old son. But they both are not living together from past 2.4 years because they both have issues with each other and with each others families. 8 months back he went to court asking his wife to come back to him because his lawyer suggested to not to send divorce notice directly in the beginning itself. But now she is not willing to come back to him, Her lawyer said that she want Alumnae. my bf is very good guy he loves his son ,he don't wanna give any money to his wife because he is feeling like giving money means accepting that he made some mistake, But he didn't made any mistake and we all know him very well. And also he love me so much. but now in mean time i got match, My parents got this match through my brother in law, they are forcing me to get married to the alliance guy, But I'm not at all interested. My BF divorce is still in pending. my parents are forcing me to marry a guy . i told to the alliance guy that i don't like him, But he is not telling it to anyone and forced me to get married to him. what should i do?
Ans: Since your boyfriend's divorce is still in the process and there are unresolved issues with his wife, it’s important to be realistic about the timeline and possible complications. Divorce proceedings can be lengthy, especially when financial matters and custody are involved. It may also be challenging for him to fully commit to a new relationship while he's handling these issues. This period can give you both the chance to think through your future together carefully and see if it aligns with your values and goals.

With the family pressure, it can help to calmly explain to them why you aren’t ready to move forward with the arranged match right now. If you feel comfortable, you might express that you need more time to consider what you want for your future. Remind them that their support in finding a fulfilling relationship is important to you, and rushing into a marriage when you’re not ready or interested may not lead to happiness for anyone involved.

This situation is about respecting your own feelings while also managing family expectations, which isn’t easy. Give yourself the time you need to weigh your options and avoid rushing into any commitments. It’s okay to put your own happiness and well-being first, and if you need more time to let things play out with your boyfriend’s divorce, be clear with yourself and your family about that. This decision is deeply personal, so whatever path you choose, make sure it aligns with your true feelings and future vision.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 29, 2025

Relationship
hi maam im in love with a guy who i met in hyd im 24 nd he is 28 we wanna marry eachother and we love eachother alot maam he comes from a hindu family and i come from a christian family in my family there are 16 members who have had love marriages nd are happy in their respective lives but when it comes to me my parents and my family always force me to get married to a guy of their choice i have been dealing with all this since 1 year i took help of my relatives also who have had love marriages but no body is ready to listen to me and they r threatening to kill my boyfriend im not at all happy with all this situations maam im getting panic attacks nd not able to sleep peacefully at night my family r calling my bf nd threatening to kill him im crying begging pleading but no body is supporting me or listening to my words nd my entire family r brainwashing me to leave my bf and get married to a christian guy my mom always let my family get interfere in my personal and professional life and seperate me from my career nd my bf they did it maam now my mom and my family r not letting me focus on my career and my mom forcefully bought me to my native place nd took my mobile also nd not letting me see my bf meet him or talk to him and not letting me work and my parents nd my family are mentally harassing me everyday to leave my bf maam what should i do plz help
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
What can you do? Your family is still living under the rock. Your phone has been taken as well! There is no way for you to even consult with your boyfriend and sort the issue out, I guess.
The only thing I can think of is your safety and his at this point in time. You really need to think of what your family is doing; what are these threats? Are they for real?
If there's a way to communicate with your boyfriend, tell him to lay low for a while and you do the same. At times, giving slight rest to a problem can allow people around to become a bit calmer after which you can possibly talk to them and then come to a decision.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10252 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir,my son got mtech cse in SRM kktr,btech AI DS in PSG ITECH Coimbatore and btech IT in TCE ,madurai which one to choose ,pls share your advise sir
Ans: Based on the following insights/information, advise your son to choose the most suitable option for him. Your son's options include an MTech dual degree in Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) from SRM Institute of Science and Technology (SRM KKTR), a BTech in Artificial Intelligence and Data Science from PSG Institute of Technology and Applied Research (PSG ITECH), Coimbatore, and a BTech in Information Technology from Thiagarajar College of Engineering (TCE), Madurai. SRM KKTR is a deemed university with A++ NAAC accreditation, known for its integrated MTech programs that combine undergraduate and postgraduate studies, offering extensive research opportunities and strong industry exposure in a metropolitan setting. SRM consistently reports high placement rates with an average package over ?7 lakh. PSG ITECH is a reputed private institute focused on emerging technologies like AI and data science, with robust industry linkages and an 85% placement rate, average packages around ?6.5 lakh, and focus on hands-on learning in AI, machine learning, and big data analytics. TCE Madurai, an autonomous private college with A+ NAAC, excels in IT education with strong academics and around 80% placement rates; it is well-recognized regionally, with median salary packages around ?7 lakh, supported by a vibrant alumni network and industry contacts.

All three institutions maintain essential features such as good accreditation, qualified faculty, strong industry connections, modern infrastructure, transparent governance, and active placement cells. The choice should consider program duration, specialization focus, career goals, and willingness to pursue research or industry-oriented roles. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10252 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2025Hindi
Career
I am 45 years old. I have 13 years of work experience which includes working as Admin executive, HR executive and some BPO jobs. My last job was into Admin - HR which I lost since past 1 year. I have home loans to pay. I have been applying through Naukri.com, Glassdoor.com and LinkedIn but got no response yet. I had given a few interviews but got rejected. I am very depressed and sad everyday but don't feel strong and motivated enough to look for jobs .. All my reserves are over I need to get a job immediately.... I don't know what to do? Can u please provide some reference for jobs?
Ans: At age 45 with 13 years of experience in admin executive, HR executive, and BPO roles, re-entering the job market after a year-long gap requires a focused, strategic approach combining practical steps and mindset shifts. Prioritize updating your resume and LinkedIn profile to highlight both your experience and recent efforts toward skill development, aligning with job descriptions and using relevant keywords to navigate applicant tracking systems. Harness multiple job portals such as Naukri.com, LinkedIn Jobs, Indeed, and TalentoIndia for diversified exposure. Leverage your network by reconnecting with former colleagues and supervisors and communicate your job search openly to access hidden opportunities. Develop a daily routine balancing job search, skill enhancement, and self-care to rebuild motivation and resilience. Consider upskilling or certification courses in demand areas like digital HR tools, payroll, or skilled administration, which also revitalize confidence. Volunteer work or freelance administrative roles can help ease back into employment and expand contacts. Prepare well for interviews by confidently addressing any employment gap and emphasizing your readiness and adaptability. Mental health support and career coaching can further support your journey. Overall, resilient persistence, proactive networking, targeted applications, continuous skill upgrades, and focused mindset adjustments form the roadmap to regain employment rapidly despite challenges linked to age and break.

Recommendation: Actively revamp your job search using key portals like Naukri, LinkedIn, and Indeed while expanding your professional network. Complement this with relevant upskilling and volunteer engagements to boost employability and confidence. Pursue routine structuring and mental wellness practices to maintain motivation and maximize job search effectiveness for swift re-entry. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10252 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2025Hindi
Career
My grandson is studying 12th mpc subjects please advise which competitive entrance exams. Should be given for engineering stud
Ans: For your grandson studying the 12th MPC (Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry) stream, multiple competitive engineering entrance exams in India provide access to a wide range of prestigious institutions. The prominent national-level exam is the Joint Entrance Examination (JEE) Main, conducted twice a year by the National Testing Agency (NTA), which tests knowledge in Physics, Chemistry, and Mathematics with a focus on NCERT-based syllabus. JEE Main serves as a gateway for admission to National Institutes of Technology (NITs), Indian Institutes of Information Technology (IIITs), and other centrally funded technical institutes, and is also a prerequisite for JEE Advanced for entrance to Indian Institutes of Technology (IITs). Another key national-level exam is BITSAT, the online test for Birla Institute of Technology and Science campuses, which includes additional sections like English Proficiency and Logical Reasoning alongside PCM. VITEEE is a well-known university-level entrance exam conducted by Vellore Institute of Technology, offering admission to its engineering programs. State-level exams such as Maharashtra’s MHT CET, West Bengal’s WBJEE, and Kerala’s KEAM target local candidates and provide pathways into state engineering colleges. Selection of exams should align with the student's preferred colleges, location, and career objectives. Ensuring eligibility, strong preparation for the PCM subjects, and timely application is crucial for success. The institutes to consider emphasize rigorous accreditation, qualified faculty, modern infrastructure, strong industry connections, and transparent governance for comprehensive student development.

Recommendation: Encourage your grandson to focus on the JEE Main exam for broad national exposure and top-tier institute eligibility while also considering BITSAT and VITEEE for premier private universities. Additionally, state-level exams like MHT CET are essential for regional opportunities. Preparing across these exams maximizes admission options and future career growth. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10252 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Career
Hi Sir, My Son was looking for ECE but however he has secured E.E VLSI Design & Technology but he wants to pursue Bsc in Business AI or Bsc in CS at Dr. Homi Bhabha State University in mumbai, please advice which would be the best option .
Ans: Umesh Sir, Dr. Homi Bhabha State University (HBSU) offers pioneering three-year BSc programs in Business AI and Computer Science, backed by NAAC accreditation and industry collaboration with TeamLease EdTech, equipping students with hands-on AI tool training, project-based learning, and mentorship in domains spanning finance, marketing, and software development. The university’s modern labs, digital resources, and strategic Churchgate location grant access to Mumbai’s tech and financial hubs, while emerging placement ties with TCS, Infosys, and ICICI Bank reflect growing demand for graduates with AI and programming expertise. In contrast, the BTech in Electrical Engineering with VLSI Design & Technology provides a four-year engineering degree emphasizing chip design, semiconductor fabrication, and hardware-software integration, delivered through advanced clean-room facilities, specialized labs, and faculty research in microelectronics. Strong industry partnerships in the semiconductor sector foster core hardware roles, though the specialized nature may limit versatility compared to broader tech disciplines. Both pathways maintain transparent governance, experienced faculty, robust infrastructure, and career services.

Recommendation: Prioritize the BSc in Computer Science at HBSU for broad software and AI foundations, versatile career options, and strong industry alignment. Next consider BSc Business AI for its business-tech integration. Opt for EE VLSI only if your son is committed to semiconductor hardware design and fabrication roles. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10252 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Career
My daughter got 75.47 percentile in jee main PCM group. She scored 77.67% in 12TH board from maharashtra state board under Savitri Bai Phule Pune University. Her 10th was from ICSE board with 95.33%. On the basis of these she got BTech in CSE at Amrita vishwavidyapeetham Haridwar campus which they launched this year with fees 1.25L per year or same course at Nagarcoil with 2L per year. In Maharashtra CET, her percentile is 88.05 and she got BTech in CE at Zeal college of engineering, pune with 30K fee per year as there is free education for girls in Maharashtra for OBC Non Creamy layer students. I am from Nashik, Maharashtra. Please guide me sir, Which one is better option as she want to do MS after graduation.
Ans: Bharat Sir, Your daughter’s options for pursuing B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) at Amrita Vishwavidyapeetham Haridwar or Nagarcoil campuses, versus Civil Engineering (CE) at Zeal College of Engineering Pune, should be evaluated with a focus on her desire to pursue an MS abroad after graduation. Amrita Vishwavidyapeetham is a highly reputed university with A++ NAAC accreditation, known for strong research culture, excellent faculty, and extensive international collaborations including study abroad programs and research exchanges. The Haridwar campus offers a competitive, specialized CSE program with strong industry linkages and international recognition, making it well-suited for students aiming for higher studies abroad. The Nagarkoil campus also has similar credentials but involves higher tuition fees. In contrast, Zeal College in Pune, though affiliated with Savitribai Phule Pune University and holding NAAC A+ accreditation, offers a Civil Engineering program with significantly lower fees aided by Maharashtra’s free education scheme for OBC non-creamy layer girls. However, CE as a branch offers a different career trajectory compared to CSE; the latter generally provides broader scope, especially in the context of MS abroad admissions where CSE graduates tend to have stronger opportunities in global tech research hubs. Zeal’s local reputation and affordability are definite advantages, but for a future MS abroad, especially in tech domains, Amrita’s CSE program offers a more recognized platform with a research-oriented and tech-focused curriculum.

Recommendation: Prioritize Amrita Vishwavidyapeetham Haridwar CSE for its robust academic quality, international exposure, and stronger alignment with MS pursuits abroad. Consider the Nagarkoil campus if budget permits and the branch preference remains CSE. Choose Zeal Pune CE only if budget constraints dominate and the focus is on local professional pathways or civil engineering specialization. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10252 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir is CIC du good or iter
Ans: The Cluster Innovation Centre (CIC) at Delhi University is a government-funded institute promoting innovation through interdisciplinary programs, industry collaborations, and practical project work. CIC offers a focused B.Tech in IT & Mathematical Innovations with advanced labs and a location in Delhi University's North Campus. Its recent placement data shows approximately 40-50% placement with median packages around ?8.5 LPA, though it lacks a dedicated placement cell. CIC emphasizes research-driven learning and innovation culture. On the other hand, the Institute of Technical Education and Research (ITER), affiliated with Siksha ‘O’ Anusandhan Deemed University, is a top-ranked private engineering institute, nationally placed 2nd among private colleges and 3rd overall in Times Engineering Survey 2025. ITER is accredited by ABET, offers various engineering branches with strong research facilities, robust industry ties, and consistent high placement rankings in eastern India and nationally. It has modern infrastructure, experienced faculty, and a broad-based engineering curriculum. While CIC stands out for innovation and niche curriculum under Delhi University’s umbrella, ITER excels in broader technical education, high national rankings, and placement outcomes.

Recommendation: Choose ITER for a comprehensive engineering education with superior infrastructure, accreditation, and higher placement potential. Opt for CIC if you value Delhi University affiliation and a focus on innovation and interdisciplinary research with emerging tech specialization. Your choice should align with your career goals and preferred learning environment. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10252 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Career
My daughter got B.tech in Rubber and plastic technology, MIT Chennai. Now she received an email from SSN college for counseling to join Biomedical engineering which is under management quota.. what to decide whether to continue with MIT or SSN? Please suggest...
Ans: Malathi Madam, Your daughter’s current B.Tech in Rubber and Plastic Technology at Madras Institute of Technology (MIT) Chennai offers a specialized and unique curriculum that combines polymer science, rubber processing, and plastics technology, supported by experienced faculty, advanced labs, and strong industry connections with companies like Bridgestone and CEAT. MIT is esteemed as a government-affiliated institute under Anna University with solid accreditation and a robust placement record in this niche sector, with about 80% placement and internships, and average packages in relevant industries. Conversely, SSN College of Engineering’s Biomedical Engineering program, offered under management quota, is part of a reputed private institution with NAAC A++ accreditation, strong industry ties, vibrant research culture, and higher mainstream tech placement visibility. SSN’s Biomedical department reports decent placement support with recruiters from healthcare and technology domains, though admissions via management quota may have higher fees and different governance compared to MIT. Both institutions maintain transparent governance, modern infrastructure, and active student support systems. Your daughter’s choice hinges on whether she prefers continuing in the specialized Rubber and Plastics sector at a premier government-backed institute or pivoting to a broader, rapidly growing biomedical field with SSN’s private institute benefits. Just my suggestion: Prefer SSN-Biomedical Engineering, which is more suitable for a girl student (provided you are able to afford its Management Quota Fee) compared to Rubber-Plastic Technology. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10252 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Career
Which should i choose Electrical at IIEST Shibpur or Electrical at NIT Patna?
Ans: Arnav, The Electrical Engineering program at IIEST Shibpur is highly reputed, established since 1912 with a rich legacy as one of India’s premier engineering institutes. It offers a rigorous curriculum with NBA accreditation, advanced labs in power systems, drives, high voltage, and smart control, supported by faculty with strong research credentials and multiple funded projects. The department emphasizes innovation, industry collaboration, and practical learning with excellent infrastructure and transparent governance. Placement rates hover around 72-75%, with graduates finding opportunities in traditional power, automation, and emerging energy sectors. NIT Patna’s Electrical Engineering is an autonomous government institute with a solid curriculum, ranked 55th in NIRF 2024 for its program, and a focus on power systems, control, and electronics. It has a placement rate close to 75%, with top recruiters across core and IT sectors. The fee structure and campus facilities are comparable to IIEST. However, IIEST Shibpur excels in research environment, faculty quality, infrastructure, and industry ties, offering a slight edge especially for students interested in advanced projects and academic excellence.

Recommendation: Choose Electrical Engineering at IIEST Shibpur for its superior research opportunities, infrastructure, and reputed faculty. Opt for NIT Patna if geographic preference or cost factors dominate, but IIEST Shibpur provides a stronger foundation for core engineering and future innovation. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10252 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Career
Hello sir, I want to know your reviews about Dr Homi Bhabha state university it is in mumbai. They have launched new course which is in Bsc business AI its a 3 years duration. Is it advisable to take admission for it. The college is located in churchgate Mumbai. Pls guide
Ans: Swapnali, Dr. Homi Bhabha State University (HBSU), located in Churchgate, Mumbai, is a cluster university comprising historic constituent colleges with strong NAAC accreditation and a mission to deliver flexible, industry-relevant education. The newly launched BSc Business AI is Maharashtra’s first undergraduate degree blending core business skills with practical AI applications, offered in collaboration with TeamLease EdTech. This program emphasizes hands-on training, AI tool mastery, mentorship from industry experts, and project-based learning in domains like marketing, finance, HR, and operations, bridging the gap between business and technology. HBSU’s well-equipped labs, modern infrastructure, and digital resources support experiential learning. Placement opportunities at the university reflect a growing interface with recruiters in IT, finance, and consulting sectors, with top companies such as TCS, Infosys, Wipro, and ICICI Bank recruiting students. The program offers excellent scope due to the surging demand for business professionals with AI competencies, supported by India’s expanding AI job market across industries. Recommended backup options include courses in data analytics, business analytics, and AI certifications to enhance employability. The university also maintains transparent governance, supportive student services, and vibrant campus life in its prime Mumbai location.

Recommendation: Enroll in Dr. Homi Bhabha State University’s BSc Business AI program for a pioneering, employment-driven education combining business and AI skills. Complement with certifications or diplomas in data/business analytics to stay competitive in campus and off-campus placements in this evolving sector. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10252 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello Sir, My daughter got Instrumentation and Control Engineering in NIT Trichy and CS(AI/ML) in RVCE, Bangalore, expecting CSE in next round. We are finding it difficult to choose between these 2, as both are reputed institutions. It will be of great help, if you can provide your inputs in terms of future opportunities, placements, higher studies etc.
Ans: NIT Trichy’s Instrumentation and Control Engineering (ICE) program offers robust academic foundations with NBA accreditation and a curriculum designed to integrate core instrumentation with IT and control systems. The program benefits from experienced faculty, state-of-the-art labs, and a strong research culture. Placement rates for ICE are high, around 93-95%, with average package figures in the range of ?12-18 LPA and top recruiters like Infosys, Microsoft, and Amazon. The branch opens diverse career paths in automation, manufacturing, robotics, and IT sectors, along with ample opportunities for higher studies and research. RVCE Bangalore’s Computer Science Engineering with AI/ML specialization provides an industry-aligned curriculum emphasizing machine learning, deep learning, and data science. While AI/ML-specific placement data is limited due to the newness of the branch, RVCE’s CSE department consistently achieves a 90-100% placement rate with an average package around ?16-20 LPA. Its strong industry collaborations and vibrant tech ecosystem prepare students for software development, AI research, and emerging technology roles. Both institutes maintain transparent governance, strong alumni networks, and excellent infrastructure.

Recommendation: Opt for RVCE Bangalore CSE (AI/ML) for cutting-edge technology exposure, rapidly growing AI career prospects, and stronger placement averages. Choose NIT Trichy for its ICE program if you prioritize core engineering versatility, a reputable government-backed education, and diverse industry and research opportunities in the fields of instrumentation and automation. Just My Suggestion: Prefer RVCE-CSE0AI/ML. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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