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Confused After Breakup: Rebound With Best Friend After Insecurity-Ridden Relationship - What Should I Do?

Ravi Mittal |701 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 15, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2025Hindi

Hello, I was in a relationship for nearly 5 months, but my boyfriend ended things because he felt insecure about my friendship with my best friend. He never told me that at that time, but two months after the breakup, he messaged me saying that his insecurity about my best friend was the real reason we parted ways. After we broke up I ended up with a rebound with my best friend because I was heartbroken and things started off physical between us. Now I'm confused what's right or wrong or what should I do next?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it must be difficult to lose a long-term relationship. Also, when you had a rebound, you were in an emotionally vulnerable place. Your friend could have politely rejected any advances because you might not have been in the right head space to think- then again, I do not want to jump to conclusions and place the blame on someone. Now, about your confusion- if you think that continuing this with your best friend can ruin your friendship, you might want to rethink it. If you think there are feelings involved, you should talk clearly about it and start by mentioning that whether they feel the same way about you or not will not affect your friendship. Once you get clarity on what page you both are on, you can start thinking about what's the next step.

Hope this helps

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Anu Krishna |1766 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 12, 2022

Question by AP - Sep 12, 2022Hindi

Hello mam! Let me get straight into my story... I have 3 best friends. We were very close.One of them, say A, was in a relationship with a girl named B. We kind of set it up in 2019 but soon he lost interest. But she was into him. She begged him but he didn't respect her feelings. This went on for a year then she slowly began to move on.Meanwhile, the girl and I got close. When he didn’t respond to her, she would cry to me and I pacified her. We became good friends but it escalated and we got into a relationship. I didn't discuss it with my friends. I informed them only after we became serious. It broke our friendship. I had asked my friend A many times about her and he’d said it’s all over so I never thought of discussing. I wasn’t aware that he was thinking about patching up with her. Now none of my close friends talk to me. Since most of my other friends are common to both of us, my entire school friends’ circle is lost. I feel very lonely. I know it’s my mistake. I shouldn't have done it. I never expected him to consider reuniting with her. Now I feel guilty for cheating my best friend. I feel like I abducted his girlfriend from him. What should I do now? Should I break up my relationship? I know this won’t change anything now. But at least after a few years I can hope my friends will accept me. At the same time, I am into her so much and so is she but I feel terribly guilty and miss my friends. I am totally confused.Would like to know your thoughts on my situation!!

Ans: Dear AP,

I don’t know how old you are, but it seems to me that you have broken some unwritten Bro Code.

But honestly, from your story all I can fathom is that you are choosing to feel guilty simply because your ‘close’ friends as you call them, ignore you.

Isn’t it immature of you to actually not be able to make a decision in life that involves you and your relationships, or do you need the blessings of your so-called friends for it?

As far as you are concerned, things were over between your friend and the girl.

So, did you need to take their permission to date her?

Also, what about your other friends? Did they not bother to even hear from you once and choose to see things your way and patch thing between you and your friend?

Instead, they decided to play the judge and pronounce you guilty for an act that doesn’t seem to need that verdict.

So, do you still want to swim in the sea of guilt and see your relationship with the girl wash away with time OR do you want to go surf that tide and take charge of your decision? Get the drift here?

Step Up; all the best!

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