Riya 5147 - Rediff Gurus

Riya

Anu Krishna 825 Answers |Ask - Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 08, 2022

Asked on - Jun 08, 2022Hindi

Hey Anu, I am a 27 year old girl, employed. I was in a relationship with a man who was very caring and lovable but he was not earning well.
I used to help him financially. He used to say we will marry, have a family and all that.
I was thrilled by his commitment and made me more desperate. His bhabhi had filed a case against his family which he says is completely false and I do believe that he is right. That is not the problem.
After the case he has become too negative. He says I’m not thinking about marriage; let's be practical and work on our relationship (when he was under jail, we used to have a lot of fights and I blamed him several times. I don't know if I should have done that or not. I used to tell him you used me according to your needs)
My question is should I support him and be with him or just leave everything as I don’t find a connection between us?
If I say let’s end it, he puts all the emotional baggage on me. Help me out

Ans:

Dear R,

And what exactly more do you want as evidence for you to value yourself much more?

His being in jail wasn’t enough? Whether he was falsely accused or not is something that you will never know.

Yet, you want to look the other way and give him the benefit of doubt on a man who hasn’t managed to stand on his own feet.

The fact that you feel used is perhaps stemming from your inner voice and you are just protecting yourself.

If you support him, you are always going to wonder whether him going to jail was under a false accusation or not.

So, think if you want to spend time with someone who is dependent on you emotionally and financially and someone who possibly has a hidden past.

Be happy and wise!

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Anu Krishna 825 Answers |Ask - Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2022

Asked on - Jan 04, 2022Hindi

Hi Anu.
I have completed my graduation and am currently working. Side by side, I am doing a professional accounting course and have reached the final stage.
I have recently failed one exam and I feel very discouraged. I feel I should quit my job and focus on my papers instead.
However, quitting my job will lead to a career gap which is not good for long term.
I am very stressed and clueless about what to do. Please advise.
Thank you.
Riya

Ans:

Dear Riya,

Failure is only feedback. Understand what fell short while studying for the examination. Was it stress or anxiety or lack of time or simply no planning?

When you work and study, it is imperative that you manage time very well.

1. Clearly state what your goal is; break it down into mini daily goals.

2. Have a timeline for each mini goal.

3. Visualise the way you will achieve these mini goals on a daily basis.

4. Follow your visualisation strictly.

5. Pat yourself on your back every day after achieving all your mini goals.

If this doesn’t work, simply check why you are pursuing this course on the side.

If you do not have a compelling answer, you may want to ask yourself if you truly want to pursue the course or change it altogether or only focus on your career for the time being.

Whatever you come up with, remember to enjoy yourself even if it means studies…

All the best and a Happy 2022!

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