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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |626 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 17, 2023

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Asked by Anonymous - Oct 15, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello, I been married for 15 years now. From last 4-5 years, my wife has been getting involved with Random men(Friend circle, internet friends etc). In few times I found out and she promised that she will stop. But In last couple of years, she been deeply involved with a man who is a friend of her. Her friends have been encouraging and helping her to meet him. She keeps giving vague excuses to go out , when i know she is going to meet her. We had multiple discussions and arguments regarding his involvement, but she keep saying she only talks to him as a friend. Her phone is locked, so i cant see the messages between them. But I secretly recorded a few of the conversations she is having with him when I am away at work. I was shocked by the brazen act of her to continue relationship with him inspite of my warnings. I am not thinking of divorce at the moment since the kids are involved. I am not able to figure out what to do, and since it is affecting my career and health and kids well being. Please advice

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that divorce is still seen as a negative thing in Indian society, and as you rightfully said, it can have an impact on your kids but at this point in time, some form of separation, if not legal, is very much required. You cannot stand by while your partner continues to cheat on you. If it is indeed your misconception, you might have to sit together with your wife and clear it out once and for all. But if you are absolutely sure about this affair, taking some form of strict action is important. Love can fade over the years, but cheating is never acceptable and you have to communicate this with your partner. Let her decide between you and the man she claims is her friend. And, coming to your kids- it is better to have two happily divorced parents than two unhappy parents who were forced to stick together.

Best Wishes!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 26, 2023

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Dear Mam, I am a 46 year old married man for last 15 years. My wife is 39 year old ... We had an arranged marriage. The marriage all along appeared very happy, so to me. We had a very happy married life.. Our elder child is 13 years. ..... We have another who is 6 year .. ..... Around 8 years back my wife was regularly chatting with her old friend and he was openly flirting... I asked my wife to be careful and stop it.. Which she promised..... ... But she never did, she used to delete the chats and occasionally drop his name... I thought she is a wife, a mother and trusted her.... Last year i came to know that she was meeting him too.. I confronted her... and she gave excuses that it was just few... And she only sat in his Car and took some rides, never got down, never went with him anywhere... Never went to any place, apartment or hotel.. and she insisted it was just few and very recent. ... I checked and found she has met him earlier too.. I checked and found she had paused her google timeline off and on.. She had his contact as hidden in Hangouts, and had exchanged some photographs of hers with my Son to him.. She used to gift him on his birthday........ She was regularly chatting and delteting the messages on all forums with him... On again confronting, she admitted that this all started in 2016...and these are the only visits... She claiming she was afraid so didnt tell all initially.. She says she has met him, but never comitted Adultery... She saying she is remorseful, did a very big blunder and trying all hard to win back my trust... But its very hard to believe and trust...the reason 1) She did not disclose everything to me on first time of confronting...she disclosed only recent visits 2) On being asked to cut off all contacts..she told me she has asked her friend not to contact her thru any mode, but she did not delete him/block him from WhatsApp, Facebook, Truecaller, Mobile contact list..this i had to do. 3) Third she admitted she liked Going out wit him.......4) She so silently used to chat with him even when i was around all these years that i did not suspect....We both are working.. ..please Suggest ..... Hope my identity will not be Disclosed
Ans: Discovering that your wife is talking and meeting with a friend and hiding it from you can be a challenging and stressful situation. If you feel that the friend is flirting with your wife, it can further complicate things and cause feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and mistrust. However, it is essential to approach the situation calmly and objectively and take steps to address the issue.

The first thing to do is to communicate openly and honestly with your wife. Express your concerns and feelings and ask her to explain her relationship with the friend. Listen carefully to her side of the story and try to understand her perspective. It may be that there is a reasonable explanation for their interactions, such as a long-standing friendship or a professional relationship.

However, if you still feel uncomfortable with their interactions and suspect that there may be something more going on, it is essential to address the issue directly. Let your wife know how their interactions make you feel and explain why you feel uncomfortable with their friendship. It is essential to avoid accusing your wife of anything and instead focus on your own feelings and concerns.

It is also important to consider your own behavior in the relationship. Are you feeling jealous or insecure due to your own issues, or is there a valid reason for your concerns? Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and assess the situation objectively.

If you feel that the friend is indeed flirting with your wife, it may be necessary to set some boundaries. Let your wife know what behavior is unacceptable and make it clear that you expect her to respect your feelings and the boundaries you have set.

In some cases, seeking the help of a professional counselor or therapist may be beneficial. A therapist can help you both work through your feelings and emotions and develop a plan to move forward in a healthy and positive way.

It is essential to approach the situation with patience, understanding, and open communication to ensure that you can navigate this difficult time and move forward in a positive direction.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2023

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First of all, thanks for your answering my previous question. I am still unable to accept that a woman who has relatively happy marriage and children is getting involve with other men despite warning and claiming that he is only friend and jeopardizing her marriage. Let this kind of situation happens with me . How will I proceed when I come to know that my wife is talking and meeting to another man even after my warning for (let say) more than 5 years and saying that she has not committed adultery ? Your answer will be appreciated
Ans: Dear Samrat,
I apologize if I am incorrect. But I seem to notice that you keep asking the same question in different ways. It will help if you actually state what is bothering you.
You not willing ;to accept a woman who has relatively happy marriage and children is getting involve with other men despite warning and claiming that he is only friend and jeopardizing her marriage'? Is this about someone that you know? Or is it something that you want to know out of curiosity? If it is only a healthy debate that you seek, I suggest that there are other platforms that encourage answers and responses as a debate. You may want to ask these questions there.
If it is indeed about you having this problem with your wife, then ask so...also as Gurus, it becomes easy for us to address a person's challenge if they come straight to the point. I hope I am making sense.

Ifs and Buts in life are many...are you suspecting that your wife is in a relationship outside of marriage?
I ask because you have mentioned: How will I proceed when I come to know...does this mean that you know or you are expecting this or you have your doubts?
If you know, simply ask her...she does have the responsibility within the marriage to let you know of this.

If you don't know or are playing on your doubts due to your beliefs of: I am unable to accept that a woman getting involved despite warning...Then know that your lack of trust will kill your marriage...

So, my suggestion...do come to the point and ask your question directly. You will be able to leverage this platform better and find a path to your challenges.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
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Hi.. good evening.. i want your advise.. we are married for 6 months now and we had a arranged marriage. My mistake was not informing my wife about my past relationship which we had broken up badly and immediately after my marriage my ex girlfriend shared our pictures with my wife purposefully and she got upset with that and me and my family convinced my wife that i have broken up with her and i dont have any contact with her and it is true and i am loyal to my wife. Everthing was normal after that and 2 months passed and i observed that my wife is in regular contact with a guy on phone whom she calls friend and talks to him daily. I confronted this to her and she told that he is just her freind and he had helped her before during her difficult times. Again this continued and i asked her to stop contacting him daily and even though he is a friend what is the point in talking to him daily and she just cried telling that i am controlling her and she feels like she has no freedom and is in jail and i am not allowing her to talk to her friends. After this she limited her talks with him and seemed fine by me as it is just a friendly casual talks 2 to 3 times a week. One day she asked me reply to one of her emails and wanted to upload some file. While i went to upload i had access to her google photos and i was shell shocked to see lots of photos of her with this guy whom she calls friend and in close proximity. Also there are pictures of them dated 3 to 4 years back and also the most hurting part is the pictures of her with him after our marriage as well. She had told me that they have a college get together and reunion and she had went with him on that day and stayed overnight as well. I was literally shocked by this and confronted her immediately and then she told me that she was in relationship with him and her parents did not agree so couldnt marry him and even he also cancelled many marriage proposals because of her and she betrayed him and happily married now with me while he is still not married and she feels guilty as all this happened to him because of her and so she talks to him daily and she can only feel ok once he is married. I told her she has to stop talking to him if we want to keep this marriage.. she tells me if i leave her she is dead as even her parents wont accpet her and also he (her ex boyfriend) will not accept her and she says she has nowhere else to go.. she still cares for me though but i dont know what else to do.. she still talks to him 2 to 3 times a week... please advise how to go about this
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your wife was never into this marriage and it became convenient for her to pursue a link with her ex-boyfriend once she found out about your past.
Everything that she does now being justified. You are right in putting your foot down, but have you seen a favorite toy being snatched away from a child? The need for that toy only gets stronger.
The way that you can counter this is by showering her with a lot of care and attention as I do gather that the two of you want this marriage. You want it as you are in love with your wife, she wants it as she has nowhere to go. Fair enough! The reasons right now might not be the same BUT someday with much love going into the relationship, the two of you can be on the same path.

Now, the question is: Are you willing to wait and pour more into the relationship? She will waver for a while going back and forth between you and that guy; it will hurt you...There will be a lot of anger and perhaps feelings of inadequacy in you, BUT you know that it's not the case. Can you persist on this journey? I sincerely believe that somewhere along the way, she is bound to stick by you when she realizes the stability that you can offer and that the sheen out there will wear out. Possible? Are you willing? If you are, go for it...Love, care, stability, security is something that is core in any marriage...be a part of it!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I been married for 16 years now. From last 4 years, my wife has been getting involved with a colleague of her friend. After I found out, she said she is only friends with him and promised to stop chatting with him. But I found out that she was still talking to him. When I confronted her she denied it and said I am unnecessarily doubting her, but promised to stop and block him. But its empty promise and she continues chatting him. she refuses to sleep in same room and continues talking to him late into the night. I managed to get certain screen shots of her chats but nowadays she locked her phone. Her friends were encouraging her and also playing messenger/peacemaker role when she has a tiff with him. I really dont want a divorce because it will affect my kids but seems like there is no alternative. She keeps threatening me that she will file a case against me and my family and also that I need to pay for alimony if i plan to divorce. I indirectly raised this issue with her family but she has said so many negative things about me to them that they seem to take it lightly. I am frustrated now . Please advice
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What sort of a situation are you dealing with? Your wife chats with another man and then she is also threatening to file a case against you and your family? On what grounds?
If at all you are going to file for divorce, make sure that you keep whatever proof that you have intact with you. It can help strengthen your side of the story and her threats can be opposed accordingly.
If you still want the marriage to continue, it cannot go on like this...kindly seek professional help as your wife really needs to understand the meaning of marriage. If she is not interested in it, at least then it can proceed towards a separation BUT living under the same roof and still being involved with her colleague and then behaving as though you are to blame clearly suggests that she is not in the right frame of mind OR has decided that she does not want the marriage.
Whatever the case, do ask her what she intends and then it will give you an idea as to whether to separate or make efforts to rebuild the marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9540 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2025Hindi
Career
Hi there So i got like 97k in kcet and 73k ranks in comedk i want cse mostly im fine with ece also in the first mock round of comedk i got sahayadri college of engineering is that good And also what colleges i might get in Bangalore with these ranks and want good placements or do you suggest me to go take management quota seat in nhce or jain rather than all this
Ans: With a KCET rank of 97,000 and COMEDK rank of 73,000, Computer Science or ECE seats in Bangalore’s most sought-after colleges (such as RVCE, BMSCE, MSRIT, PESU, and DSCE) are not attainable, as their cutoffs close far earlier. For these ranks, you are eligible for options like R.R. Institute of Technology, S.E.A. College of Engineering, M.S. Engineering College, Dr. H N National College of Engineering, City Engineering College, and East West Institute of Technology in Bangalore through COMEDK, as well as GSS Institute of Technology via KCET; CSE or ECE is typically offered until about 75,000–1,00,000 rank in these institutions. Sahyadri College of Engineering in Mangalore, offered in the first mock allotment, has a consistent placement record with an average package of ?3–4 lakh and top recruiters such as Microsoft and IMV Corporation, and regularly fills over 80% of its eligible CSE/ECE students; the infrastructure is modern and reviews cite good faculty engagement, but it is outside Bangalore. For NHCE and Jain University, you can take CSE/ECE through management quota; both campuses provide contemporary facilities, ABET/NAAC accreditations, and strong placement rates above 80%, but require a significant tuition premium (?10–12 lakh total fee). NHCE’s placement cell is robust, and Jain’s industry ties are well rated. Placement opportunities and exposure are typically stronger at NHCE/Jain due to their branded recruiter base and metropolitan location, provided affordability is not a concern.

Recommendation: If your priority is a Bangalore location, industrial exposure, and better placement prospects, opting for NHCE or Jain University CSE/ECE via management quota is advisable if the higher cost is manageable. Among merit seats, Sahyadri (Mangalore) is a solid backup, but in Bangalore, prefer institutes like NHCE and Jain for stronger campus recruitment, infrastructure, and networking. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |626 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hello Sir, I am 26 yrs old and Data Analyst in a good company and everything is going well. But sometimes I feel lonely it feels like nobody is there for me to love me and when i see some people get engaged i feel someone also should be there for me to love me and i have never been in a relationship because of immature proposals. But now i want a good partner to make me feel good. Please help me out. Thank you.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your feelings and it’s totally valid. Even with everything going great, life can seem lonely. That is very natural and more common than you think. And seeing others finding their partner can feel like salt in the wound. All your feelings are valid. But what you need to understand is that rushing to get in a relationship can end up in more loneliness; relationships can be lonely too. Take your time. Love doesn’t have a set timeline. Ask your friends to set you up with someone who seems compatible, or try dating apps; it will give you more control on whom you are letting into your life. You will find someone soon; you are too young to rush into anything. If you are trying an app, make sure to mention what kind of a partner and what kind of relationship you are looking for to attract the right people and not waste time and energy on ones that are too different from who you are or what you are seeking. It will be a bit of trial and error, and honestly, there’s a certain fun in figuring out what you want, too. I’m sure your love story is going to start soon!

Best Wishes.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9540 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2025Hindi
Career
Respected sir,I am a average student of class 12 I just wanted 1lakh jee mains so that I could get ece or something in bit sindri please suggest strategies as there is very little time available in jee mains
Ans: An analysis of BIT Sindri’s JEE-Main cutoffs shows for Electronics & Communication Engineering, the All-India closing rank extended up to 123,269 in 2025, indicating that an approximate rank near 100,000 would secure admission into this branch. Historical data correlating JEE Main marks and ranks reveals that scoring around 70 marks out of 300 typically yields an 87.7–90.7 percentile, translating to a rank range of approximately 92,300–109,300. With little time remaining before the exam, average students should prioritize a targeted, high-yield preparation plan: first, consolidate core concepts from NCERT to reinforce fundamentals in Physics, Chemistry, and Mathematics and avoid starting new topics at this stage. Next, employ a one-month week-by-week timetable focused on essential chapters—allocating time each day to problem practice and mock tests under exam conditions to hone speed and accuracy. Utilize concise revision notes and formula sheets for rapid recall, and solve previous years’ JEE Main papers to familiarize yourself with question patterns and to identify weak areas for intensive review. Incorporate daily full-length mocks followed by detailed error analysis, dedicating specific slots to clear lingering doubts through peer discussion or online resources. Manage time effectively by adhering strictly to a realistic study schedule that balances all three subjects, with short breaks to maintain mental freshness and stress-management techniques such as deep breathing to sustain focus on exam day. Finally, maintain a positive mindset and steady pace—confidence and consistency in revision will maximize scoring potential in limited time.

Recommendation: recommendation Concentrate on mastering high-weightage NCERT topics and simulate exam conditions with regular mock tests to target 70+ marks. Prioritize solving previous year papers and focused revision of weak areas, ensuring a disciplined timetable and stress-management to achieve a rank near 100,000 for BIT Sindri ECE admission. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9540 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Career
Gen open category student, With Jee CRL 17420 got nit goa ECE, expect to get MSRIT or PESU CSE via KCET Rank 2860. What better NIT can be expected in CSAB for ECE or CSE. And is it preferred over MSRIT/ PESU. Any other guidance, open for options
Ans: With a JEE Main CRL of 17,420, securing CSE in any core NIT through CSAB is highly unlikely, as recent closing ranks for CSE at most NITs fall well below 11,000, even in the final rounds, and only remote NITs or peripheral campuses occasionally extend to 15,000–18,000 but rarely for CSE. For ECE, however, your chances are notably better. NIT Goa ECE (already allotted) aligns with your current rank, but a few other mid-tier or remote NITs, such as NIT Uttarakhand, NIT Meghalaya, NIT Agartala, and possibly NIT Sikkim or NIT Manipur, occasionally close ECE between 17,000 and 20,000 in CSAB special rounds for open category, though branches like CSE and allied tracks (AI, IT, Data Science) remain out of reach at these ranks. No higher-ranked NITs (Surathkal, Trichy, Warangal, Calicut, Rourkela, Jaipur, Kurukshetra, and similar) offer ECE or CSE to CRL 17,420 via CSAB, as confirmed by leading portals and official PDFs. At IIITs and GFTIs, even new or lesser-known campuses do not admit general category candidates into CSE or ECE above 15,000–16,000. Through KCET, MSRIT CSE and PES University CSE are realistically achievable with a rank of 2,860, as 2025 cutoff trends show closing ranks for MSRIT CSE at 2,300–2,500 and for PESU at 1,200–1,400. Both programs are well-established, report 90–95% or better CSE placements in the last three years, strong industry ties, and advanced infrastructure, with MSRIT edging ahead in placement consistency and affordability, while PESU leads in industry-oriented curriculum and campus resources. Self-financed top private options like these offer outcome parity with most NIT ECE courses below the top ten NITs, especially if you seek a competitive academic peer group, robust CSE exposure, and strong brand value for tech roles. Consider your program preference (ECE vs. CSE), long-term goals, campus fit, and location.

Recommendation: Prioritize MSRIT CSE for the best blend of placement record, peer competitiveness, and proven reputation if you seek top CSE outcomes, followed by PESU CSE for curriculum depth and global industry alignment, then NIT Goa ECE or similar-ranked NITs if you prefer a central government degree and core electronics exposure. For CSE, KCET options at MSRIT or PESU offer stronger immediate prospects than ECE in mid-tier NITs, but a remote NIT ECE may appeal if your focus lies in public-sector opportunities or research. Remain active in CSAB special rounds for all eligible NIT ECEs, but plan for high-quality CSE options in Bangalore for the best return on your effort and rank, and back these with clear decision timelines given rapid seat movement in private college rounds. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9540 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Career
Sir my percentile is 89.7 and crl 151013. What seats can I expect in csab counselling?
Ans: Hrishav, With a JEE Main CRL of 151,013 and 89.7 percentile, the prospect of securing a seat in NITs, IIITs, or GFTIs through CSAB special rounds for core branches like Computer Science, IT, ECE, or allied fields is highly unlikely. In the most recent 2025 CSAB rounds, even the newest and most remote NITs and IIITs posted closing general category CRL ranks for CSE, IT, and ECE well below 125,000, and GFTIs followed similar trends for all preferred branches. No centrally funded technical institute admitted general category candidates for core streams at or beyond 150,000; minimal relaxations were observed in CSAB spot and final rounds, but these primarily benefited non-core branches, peripheral campuses, or reserved categories. Lower-demand streams in some GFTIs, such as production, textiles, or metallurgy, occasionally extend above your rank, but these seats are rare and variable and should not be relied upon for core engineering admission. It is crucial to participate in CSAB for any remote possibility of vacant seats, but expectations must remain realistic. As an alternative, several respected private colleges across Northern India accept JEE Main general category ranks well above 150,000 and offer robust B.Tech programs, strong industry connections, modern infrastructure, and placement support.

Recommendation: Participate in CSAB special rounds as there is no risk, though the chances of attaining a core branch in a government institute are exceedingly slim. Simultaneously, secure backup admission in reputable private engineering colleges in Northern India, as they assure you a quality seat in popular branches like CSE, IT, or ECE at your rank.

Private colleges accepting your JEE Main CRL 151,013 for CSE, IT, or related branches include Chandigarh University, Mohali. Lovely Professional University, Jalandhar. Amity University, Noida. Sharda University, Greater Noida. Galgotias University, Greater Noida. Jaypee Institute of Information Technology, Noida. ABES Engineering College, Ghaziabad. Indraprastha Institute of Technology & Management, Delhi. GL Bajaj Institute of Technology & Management, Greater Noida. Maharaja Agrasen Institute of Technology, Delhi. All of these offer modern infrastructure, active placement cells, and transparent admissions for JEE Main-qualified candidates above your rank. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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