Hello Kanchan, it is in regard to my furst question to decluttter my mind if you remember .... I am fed up with the awkwardness in workplace with that collegue...whatever happened I want to feel normal with him like friendly colleague not like the ones with whom we have some tension...it affects our work naturally. So sometimes I feel like I should talk to him directly about all this awkwardness and ask him to take things lightly as I feel he is not making any eye contact with me ...just greets me when he comes and goes back from office. While all have seen us talking nonstop... Will it not be ok ?

Ans:

Personal relationships do come in the way of our professional interactions, so it's important to have good personal relationships.

But, sometimes, if the other person does not respond, then it becomes a challenge.

You can have a candid discussion and try and resolve the issues. Else, you can approach your manager to intervene and help both of you to iron out the issues.

Talk to your friend about the good old days.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

You did nothing wrong. There's really no answer to why he is acting this way. Some people are like that. Since he did not commit to you, you can not blame him directly, but if you really want closure, you can directly ask him about his sudden shift in behavior. If he denies it, let it be. You cannot force someone to accept their mistakes.

I suggest you focus on yourself, and your work, go out with other friends, and put him out of your mind. Again I am reminding you that you deserve better than this. It's better that it ended before you could get even more emotionally attached to a man who does not feel the same way about you.

Best Wishes!

Ans: It seems like you've been through a challenging situation at work, and it's completely normal to have mixed feelings and experience stress in such circumstances. It's important to address your feelings and find a way to navigate this situation in a healthy manner. Here are some steps you can consider:

Reflect on the situation: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and the events that have transpired. Consider why you started to enjoy the attention and what it meant to you. Understand that it's natural to develop feelings for someone when you spend a lot of time together.
Maintain professional boundaries: It's crucial to maintain professional boundaries at the workplace. While it's okay to have friendly relationships with colleagues, it's important not to cross the line into unprofessional behavior. Recognize the importance of professionalism and how it can impact your work environment.
Focus on self-improvement: Instead of seeking validation or attention from your coworker, channel your energy into self-improvement. Continue taking care of yourself and striving for personal and professional growth.
Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your feelings and concerns. They can provide emotional support and an outside perspective on the situation. Venting to someone you trust can help relieve some of your stress.
Speak to a manager or HR: It's commendable that you took the step to approach your senior about the need for sensitivity in the workplace. Continue to communicate your concerns about inappropriate behavior, whether it's from your coworker or anyone else in the office, to your HR department or a higher-up. They should be able to address these issues appropriately.
Accept that people change: It's possible that your coworker's behavior changed after you raised the issue with your senior. People's actions can be influenced by various factors, and it's essential to accept that he might have his reasons for acting differently.
Create a support network: Build strong relationships with other colleagues who share your values and provide a positive work environment. This can help reduce the impact of missing the interactions with your previous work spouse.
Manage your expectations: Understand that things might not go back to the way they were before. Colleagues change, and your coworker may have chosen to distance himself for personal or professional reasons.
Focus on your well-being: Prioritize self-care, both physically and mentally. Engage in activities that make you happy and help reduce stress. A healthy work-life balance can greatly improve your overall mood and well-being.
Seek professional help if necessary: If your stress and emotional struggles persist, consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support for your emotional well-being.
Remember, it's important to prioritize your mental and emotional health. It may take time to adjust to the changes in your workplace dynamics, but with the right approach and support, you can find a way to navigate this situation and move forward positively.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Have fun but 'secretly' is fun no? That's what he is happily enjoying...
Obviously he cares about his reputation and what if you get too involved in him; so he's making sure he has fun but in a way that has a boundary.
I would suggest let him not have the pleasure of drawing that boundary so there is not need for you to respond to any of his messages...And you are absolutely right in asking: "If we are just friends why he want to keep it private." There lies your answer. For him, possibly it has gone beyond this in his mind and hence he keeping it private. Draw your boundary NOW. Better later than never.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/