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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 07, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello Kanchan, it is in regard to my furst question to decluttter my mind if you remember .... I am fed up with the awkwardness in workplace with that collegue...whatever happened I want to feel normal with him like friendly colleague not like the ones with whom we have some tension...it affects our work naturally. So sometimes I feel like I should talk to him directly about all this awkwardness and ask him to take things lightly as I feel he is not making any eye contact with me ...just greets me when he comes and goes back from office. While all have seen us talking nonstop... Will it not be ok ?

Ans: Direct communication can be a positive step, but it's important to approach the conversation with sensitivity and professionalismApproach the conversation with a calm and neutral tone. Avoid sounding accusatory or confrontational. Express your observations and feelings without blaming the other person. Emphasize the importance of maintaining a professional and collaborative work environment. Reaffirm your commitment to working together productively and professionally. He may not be receptive to such conversations, so be prepared for various outcomes. However, taking the initiative to address the issue demonstrates your commitment to a healthy work environment and can contribute to a more positive atmosphere.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 04, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2023Hindi
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Hi! I want to declutter my mind . Please help me. I am a working married women. One of married collegue in office started appreciating me and i took notice of him. Initially I felt it awkward but later I started enjoying the attention. It went in and I started feeling good. I started to give more time to myself to look good. Then that person is very handsome, and uses slangs that are not appropriate in office. I overlooked everything as he became my favorite. I even overlooked his mistakes. He started coming late , going early also. He helped me in my office work a lot. I felt very comfortable in his company. He was like work spouse for me. He became a habit for me. Than one day there came a situation, one should take responsibility for the wrong decision in office.it was his call and he could have avoided it being reported to my seniors as I helped him previously for same situation but he reported. I still had feelings for him. Now I felt bad. But it was ok. Than one or two times he accidentally touched me , It was not acceptable to me as if I am being taken for granted.i even don't know if it was intentional ... Some other junior also tried to outsmart me. Than I went to my senior and asked the solution for smooth Functioning in office and asked office to sensitize employees for appropriate behaviour. Now that person has for whom I still have crush , took it personally and stopped talking to me properly. Where was I wrong , also I took this step as reminder of sexual harrasment to avoid any further advancement of touching and all . The problem is I still like him and it's a void I am feeling and I feel I miss that happy vibe in office. Things are not normal. I am stressed ...I know I did nothing wrong. How to calm myself and stop longing for him when I see him everyday. I feel like I should talk to him to behave normally but can not do that. What should I do. I am ok when I don't see him but I feel bad when he is talking with others normally . he used to be coordinating with me for all office things but now he does not do that.he does with other. He used to wish me on festival.he stopped doing that too. I really feel bad. Please help me with my thought process.
Ans: It seems like you've been through a challenging situation at work, and it's completely normal to have mixed feelings and experience stress in such circumstances. It's important to address your feelings and find a way to navigate this situation in a healthy manner. Here are some steps you can consider:

Reflect on the situation: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and the events that have transpired. Consider why you started to enjoy the attention and what it meant to you. Understand that it's natural to develop feelings for someone when you spend a lot of time together.
Maintain professional boundaries: It's crucial to maintain professional boundaries at the workplace. While it's okay to have friendly relationships with colleagues, it's important not to cross the line into unprofessional behavior. Recognize the importance of professionalism and how it can impact your work environment.
Focus on self-improvement: Instead of seeking validation or attention from your coworker, channel your energy into self-improvement. Continue taking care of yourself and striving for personal and professional growth.
Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your feelings and concerns. They can provide emotional support and an outside perspective on the situation. Venting to someone you trust can help relieve some of your stress.
Speak to a manager or HR: It's commendable that you took the step to approach your senior about the need for sensitivity in the workplace. Continue to communicate your concerns about inappropriate behavior, whether it's from your coworker or anyone else in the office, to your HR department or a higher-up. They should be able to address these issues appropriately.
Accept that people change: It's possible that your coworker's behavior changed after you raised the issue with your senior. People's actions can be influenced by various factors, and it's essential to accept that he might have his reasons for acting differently.
Create a support network: Build strong relationships with other colleagues who share your values and provide a positive work environment. This can help reduce the impact of missing the interactions with your previous work spouse.
Manage your expectations: Understand that things might not go back to the way they were before. Colleagues change, and your coworker may have chosen to distance himself for personal or professional reasons.
Focus on your well-being: Prioritize self-care, both physically and mentally. Engage in activities that make you happy and help reduce stress. A healthy work-life balance can greatly improve your overall mood and well-being.
Seek professional help if necessary: If your stress and emotional struggles persist, consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support for your emotional well-being.
Remember, it's important to prioritize your mental and emotional health. It may take time to adjust to the changes in your workplace dynamics, but with the right approach and support, you can find a way to navigate this situation and move forward positively.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 29, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I recently join a new workplace and there I found this male married colleague of my age. At first everything is professional. He sometime message me on WhatsApp to just ask about office just in friendly way. I thought him as a workplace friend and we chat in a friendly way but one day he told me not to mention to anyone that he message me on WhatsApp. I found this weird. I mean it's nothing between us that should be hide then why he told me to keep it private.I want to confort him about this incident But then I think that maybe I overthink this situation and as we have to work together so I think it become awkward also o am very new at workplace so I sweep it under the rug. But next day he act normal at office like totally friendly so o think that I might be overthink about the situation. But later one day when he visit home he specifically told me not to message him. I mean I what is this. I never message him first. I only reply him. I never started it. If we are just friends why he want to keep it private. I find it little bit weird and also I don't like it. I want to comfort it about that but also not want make it awkward at office. I want to know that what kind of his intentions. I don't want any trouble.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Have fun but 'secretly' is fun no? That's what he is happily enjoying...
Obviously he cares about his reputation and what if you get too involved in him; so he's making sure he has fun but in a way that has a boundary.
I would suggest let him not have the pleasure of drawing that boundary so there is not need for you to respond to any of his messages...And you are absolutely right in asking: "If we are just friends why he want to keep it private." There lies your answer. For him, possibly it has gone beyond this in his mind and hence he keeping it private. Draw your boundary NOW. Better later than never.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11045 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 27, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2026Hindi
Money
I am a corporate IT employee working as a senior development lead in an MNC with 17 years of experience. I am 40 years old with 6 years old son. My current portfolio includes the following. 1. PF balance is 26 lakhs 2. company shares worth 19lakhs. 3. mutual funds worth 1.4 crores. 4. I have life insurance policy worth 20 lakhs as asset 5. NPS corpus 14 lakhs 6. Home worth 1 crores I have a home loan outstanding of rupees 63 lakhs for 12 years and EMI of which is 68000 rupees with 8.5 percent ROI. My gross salary is 3.75 lakhs and in-hand salary is Rs 221000. I get a bonus of 15 percent of my gross salary and a annual raise of 7 percent. My basic salary is Rs. 128000. I do mutual fund SIP of 1 lakh a month. Other savings in each month includes or deducted are Pf 31k, NPS 17k and company share 16k. . I want to retire in 3/5 years. Also keep in mind that : 1. My current Monthly expenses of 50k is excluding loan emi. 2. I will keep SIP 1 lakhs and will not prepay home loan till I retire or suggest should I prepay or grow my Mutual fund instead. 3. The retirement expenses should rise as per inflation and a bit more for lifestyle upgrade. 4.Also I have a term insurance of 50lakhs which I will continue post retirement aswell. 5. I am planning to settle my home loan outstanding with my gratuity, company share and full and final settlement when I leave company. Assuming my monthly current expenses as 50k and can be increased with inflation and lifestyle upgrade and having own home, Suggest if I can retire in 3 or 5 years taking into consideration of my loan outstanding liability and 1 kid of 6 years old's future expenses like study and marriage and my retirement expenses ?
Ans: You have built a very strong financial base at 40. Your savings rate is excellent. Your discipline in SIP, PF, NPS and equity exposure shows maturity. Very few people at your age reach this level of corpus. That is a big positive.

Now let us evaluate this calmly and practically.

» Your Current Financial Position

– Mutual Funds: Rs 1.4 crore
– PF: Rs 26 lakhs
– NPS: Rs 14 lakhs
– Company Shares: Rs 19 lakhs
– Home Value: Rs 1 crore
– Outstanding Loan: Rs 63 lakhs
– Monthly Expense (excluding EMI): Rs 50,000
– EMI: Rs 68,000

Your total financial assets are strong. But retirement decision depends on cash flow sustainability, not just asset size.

» Retirement in 3 Years – Is It Practical?

If you retire at 43:

– Your son will be only 9 years old.
– You will have at least 40+ years of post-retirement life.
– Education costs will rise sharply after 5–10 years.
– Inflation will steadily increase your lifestyle expenses.

Today expense is Rs 50k. In 10–12 years it can easily double or more. Also lifestyle upgrade is expected, as you rightly mentioned.

Even if you clear the home loan using gratuity, shares and settlement:

– Your investible corpus will reduce.
– You will depend fully on investments for income.
– No salary cushion.
– Child education peak years not yet started.

Retiring in 3 years looks aggressive and financially tight.

» Retirement in 5 Years – More Realistic?

If you work till 45:

– Your MF corpus may grow significantly with continued Rs 1 lakh SIP.
– PF and NPS will also grow.
– Bonus and annual increment will add strength.
– You will reduce risk of sequence of return shock.

By 45, if your corpus grows meaningfully and loan is closed, early retirement becomes more realistic.

Even then, you must evaluate whether corpus can generate inflation-adjusted income for 40+ years without erosion.

» Home Loan – Prepay or Continue?

Current loan rate: 8.5%

You are investing heavily in equity mutual funds.

Long-term equity returns historically beat 8.5%. So from a pure mathematical view, continuing SIP instead of prepaying makes sense.

But retirement planning is not only maths. It is about risk comfort.

If your plan is to close loan using:

– Gratuity
– Company shares
– Final settlement

That is a reasonable strategy. It preserves compounding now and gives mental freedom at retirement.

I would not suggest aggressive prepayment now if retirement corpus growth is priority.

» Child Education & Marriage Planning

Your son is 6.

– Higher education likely in 12 years.
– Marriage maybe 20+ years later.

Education cost inflation is higher than normal inflation.

You must mentally earmark a separate corpus within your mutual funds for:

– Graduation
– Post graduation (if abroad, very high cost)

This amount should not be mixed with retirement corpus.

If this segregation is not done, early retirement becomes risky.

» Risk in Company Shares

You have Rs 19 lakhs in company shares.

– This is concentration risk.
– Your salary and wealth both depend on same company.

Before retirement, gradually reduce this exposure and diversify into professionally managed mutual funds.

» Term Insurance

You mentioned:

– Rs 50 lakh term cover
– Rs 20 lakh life policy (investment type)

At 40 with dependent child and non-working spouse, Rs 50 lakh term cover is on the lower side.

If you retire early, income stops. But responsibility remains.

You may need to review total risk cover adequacy before retirement decision.

» Retirement Income Sustainability

Today expense Rs 50k.

After loan closure and lifestyle upgrade, assume:

– Rs 70k–80k in near future
– With inflation, it may cross Rs 1.5–2 lakh per month in 20–25 years.

Retirement corpus must survive:

– Market volatility
– Inflation
– Child education withdrawal
– Medical inflation
– 40+ years longevity risk

Early retirement at 43 needs a very large cushion. At present, it appears borderline unless markets perform very strongly.

» What I Would Suggest

– Target retirement at 45 instead of 43.
– Continue Rs 1 lakh SIP strictly.
– Do not prepay loan now.
– Close loan fully at exit using settlement and shares.
– Reduce company stock concentration slowly.
– Separate child education corpus mentally and structurally.
– Review term cover adequacy.
– Keep 2 years expenses in safe instruments before retirement to manage market volatility.

» Important Behavioural Question

Ask yourself:

Do you want complete retirement?
Or financial independence with option to consult, freelance, part-time?

At 45, shifting to lower stress income option may be wiser than full retirement.

That reduces pressure on corpus.

» Final Insights

– You are financially disciplined and ahead of many peers.
– Retirement in 3 years looks risky.
– Retirement in 5 years can be possible if markets support and corpus grows strongly.
– Child education and longevity are the biggest risk factors.
– Loan closure at retirement is a good psychological move.
– Focus on building bigger margin of safety.

Early retirement is possible for you. But it should be done with strength, not stress.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1856 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Feb 26, 2026

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11045 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 26, 2026

Money
Hi Ramalingam Sir, Very fond of your guidance. I`ve invested in ICICI Prudential Guranteed Income Plan with PPT of 10 Years & Policy Term is 11 Years. The Yearly Premium is 5 lakhs with Guaranteed Early Income i.e which started from 2nd year onwards is 1.19 Lacs. After 11th year Guaranteed Yearly Income will be 6.38 Lacs. I started this Policy in 2022. Very soon I realized that this is not worth of investing my money. I decided to stop Premium after 2 years which made my Policy as Paid up status which means all benefits are reduced but Policy is Active. I changed myself as I did mistakes in Past (by taking this policy) and now I read each clause very carefully. Now in this case If i surrender, the Surrender value is calculated based on Guaranteed factor X Total premium paid - Income already Paid. Now currently Surrender value is 2.9 Lacs as GV factor is 50%. This factor will improve Gradually with time and by 9th year it will went to 90%. I want to Surrender but now will incur heavy loss (approx. 4.8 lacs) ( to me while in 9th year at least I`ll get 90% of my Premiums back. So pl. advice what is right approach as when should i think for Surrender. As of now by God grace I`m not in any financial emergency. Further is my understanding correct that SV will rise with time. Thanks in advance for your guidance.
Ans: It is very good that you have started reading your policy papers so closely now. Most people do not take the time to understand the fine print, but you have already taken a big step by identifying that this plan does not match your long-term goals. Your ability to stop the premium early shows you are now in control of your money.

» Understanding your paid-up policy and surrender value

Your understanding of how the Surrender Value (SV) works is mostly right. In these types of plans, the Guaranteed Surrender Value factor does go up as the years pass. However, there is a catch. While the percentage factor increases, the insurance company also deducts the income they have already paid out to you from the final amount. Even if you wait until the 9th year to get 90% of your premiums back, you are losing out on the "time value" of that money. Money sitting in a low-yield environment for nine years loses its buying power because of inflation.

» The math behind surrendering now versus later

If you surrender today, you take a big loss of Rs. 4.8 lakhs. This feels painful. But if you keep the money locked in just to avoid the loss, you are essentially letting the company hold your remaining Rs. 2.9 lakhs for several more years at a very low return. A 360-degree view suggests that if you take the money out now and put it into a productive asset like a diversified portfolio of actively managed mutual funds, that money can work much harder for you. Actively managed funds are great because a professional fund manager chooses the best stocks to beat the market, unlike other options that just follow a fixed list.

» Why regular funds and expert guidance matter

Since you mentioned you want to be careful now, it is better to invest through regular plans with the help of a Certified Financial Planner. Many people think direct funds are better because of lower fees, but they often end up making emotional mistakes or picking the wrong funds without a guide. A regular plan gives you access to professional advice and periodic reviews, which ensures you stay on track. This expert support is worth much more than the small cost difference, especially when you are trying to recover from a past investment mistake.

» Opportunity cost and your next steps

Since you do not have a financial emergency, you have a great chance to build wealth. Instead of waiting years just to get your original 5 lakhs back, you can take what is left and start a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP). Over the next seven to eight years, a well-managed equity fund could potentially grow that small amount into something much larger than what the insurance policy would ever pay. The loss you take today is the "fees" for a valuable lesson, but staying in the plan is a continuous cost.

» Tax rules to keep in mind

When you move your money to equity mutual funds, remember the tax rules. If you hold your investment for more than a year, it is called Long Term Capital Gain (LTCG). Any profit above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%. If you sell before one year, the profit is taxed at 20%. This is still very efficient compared to many other products.

» Finally

The best approach is usually to exit such low-yield insurance-cum-investment plans as soon as possible. Since your policy is already paid-up, it is not eating new money, but it is wasting your old money. Surrendering now and moving the funds into actively managed mutual funds through a regular plan will likely put you in a much stronger position by the 11th year compared to waiting for the policy to mature.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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