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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Richa Question by Richa on Apr 12, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello my my husband always cheated on me he always flirt to another girls only for the intension to sleep with them and now 10 days ago he was stay one night in hotel with another girl when I was not in home my marriage is 4 years till and have one daughter I m completely broken plz guide me

Ans: Dear Richa

I am sorry to hear about what you're going through in your marriage. Infidelity is a very painful experience and it's completely understandable that you are feeling broken right now. my first suggestion would be to prioritise your own self-care and emotional well-being. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you process your emotions, cope with the pain of infidelity, and develop a plan for moving forward.

In terms of your marriage, it's important to remember that the decision of what to do next is ultimately up to you. It's common for people to feel a range of emotions following infidelity, such as anger, sadness, confusion, and a sense of betrayal. If you do decide to stay in the marriage, it may be helpful to seek out couples therapy or marriage counseling in order to address the underlying issues that contributed to your husband's infidelity and to work on rebuilding trust and intimacy in the relationship.

However, it's also important to consider whether staying in the marriage is truly in your best interests and those of your daughter. Infidelity can be a sign of deeper issues within a relationship, and it may be necessary to take some time to evaluate whether the relationship is truly healthy and fulfilling for you.

Regardless of what you decide, know that healing from infidelity is a process that takes time and effort. It's important to be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this difficult time in your life, and to remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where you are respected and valued.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1759 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 27, 2022

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Relationship
Dear Anu,I want a solution for my problem that is the result of my imagination (probably).My husband would travel along with his two office team mates in his car daily.One male and one female.The male member met with an accident and the lady continued going with my husband. I developed a fear and some sort of insecurity about the two of them. Things started becoming worse day by day. Regular fights, arguments have become a daily routine. I just wanted him to stop travelling with that Lady but he couldn't oblige to it saying it will hurt his image in office. I couldn't tolerate it and made a call (though caught by husband) to that lady. She understood my problem and stopped going with him.His other team mates started asking the reason for the same. He couldn't digest it and even beaten me. He also started consuming alcohol just to abuse me and shout at me.I convinced that lady to start travelling again with himThen somehow he accepted me.I do understand the things but still I feel he had cheated upon me. I feel lonely and helpless PS
Ans:

Dear PS,

This is an unfortunate turn of events for a situation that needed an open communication between the two of you.

Now, why you were insecure or why your husband didn’t want to see your perspective is anybody’s guess! But nothing justifies his beating you.

And as for his alcohol consumption, it his choice to weaken his senses even further and not wanting to face the situation at hand. And it makes no sense whatsoever when you say that after the lady started to travel with him, he accepted you.

Why does he need another person to step in to accept you? This all points more as a thing that your husband needs to work on.

Possibly he is dealing with more insecurity than you are and hence this behaviour from him. Of course, I cannot judge him without knowing his version of the story, but if you want to get past this, it’s time to have that open communication; involve a third person who will be neutral to mediate and bring in some much-needed perspectives into your relationship.

All the best and be strong!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1759 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

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Relationship
Hello, I am 41 year old professional. I had met my husband before marriage though social media 5 years back and thereafter maintaining distance relationship and meeting occasionally for 3 years we got married in 2021. It was a struggle for marriage as it was inter caste and inter religious marriage. Everything was smooth in relationship to the fact that I’m responsible for all financial matters as my husband has no job. He is still trying and looking for job. I didn’t mind much but would encourage him to get the job to be mentally and physically fit. Last year we went to his nephews marriage to his village. It was of 7 day programme. On second day I noticed him watching another women ( nephews mother’s sister who has 2 daughters) At that time I didn’t pay attention. After 2 days on a night function I saw my husband texting from far but he looked at that lady again. She also seemed to texting. I became suspicious. Later that night when he came to room I asked to show him his phone he was reluctant. I had to snatch his phone and I saw that he was texting the same lady and in that had asked her to meet her alone. and asking her where he can meet her. I gnashed cried and made a huge scene coz this was not what I had expected. He tried to convince that she was his girlfriend of past and suddenly after seeing her after sometime he only wanted to talk to her. I only asked her ... why alone? He had told me during dating that she had a girlfriend ( never told her identity) and that she has married and moved on. Feeling cheated I could not sleep but only cried that night and in the morning if we can return to our city. Programme had not finished but he agreed and we left. Since then that night and those days still haunt me ; thinking what didn’t I do to love him so much and in return we get cheated. I’m still with him, but mentally I still feel cheated and still am in doubt that he is in touch with her. I am not able to do my duties as part of my mind thinks he cheats me though I have confronted many times on this and he denies that he is not in touch with her Should I leave him or continue with this marriage? We still don’t have any baby.
Ans: Dear Vandana,
Clearly you are more into him than he is into you. Baby or no baby, he seems like someone who isn't going to be steady...what was the need to hide and plan a meeting and if the other lady has moved on, what is doing hanging around her?
And with no financial assurance and stability, he is only tuning his energies to external validation to 'up' his elf esteem...

Isn't it time you actually called him out for his wayward nature and his absolute reluctance to take on some responsibility in the marriage and home? The more you are quiet, the more he is going to feel that you are supporting this nonsense...call it out and NOW! And as for your state of mind, do know that you have it in you to hold your own...don't base you peace of mind on anything outside of you...

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I got married three months ago, during courtship period my ex was in my office but then my marriage wasn't fixed properly ,when it got yeses from both the side I changed my office,but I couldn't tell this to my husband and also I lied about my virginity,he was also not virgin and after marriage I confessed all this ,now he is not forgiving me for my dishonesty and not letting me come home also he abuse me verbally ,slapped me..I also feel like cheated for not letting me know this side of him before marriage..How should I go ahead?
Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing in your new marriage. It's concerning to hear that you're experiencing verbal abuse and physical violence from your husband. No one deserves to be treated this way, and it's important to prioritize your safety and well-being.

First and foremost, if you are in immediate danger or feel unsafe, please reach out to local authorities or a trusted friend or family member for support. Your safety is paramount.

In terms of next steps, it's essential to seek support and assistance from professionals who can help you navigate this situation. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationships and domestic violence. They can provide you with guidance, support, and resources to help you make informed decisions about your next steps.

Additionally, you may want to consider reaching out to organizations or hotlines that specialize in supporting individuals experiencing domestic violence. They can offer confidential support, safety planning, and resources to help you leave the abusive situation and rebuild your life.

It's also crucial to recognize that you are not responsible for your husband's abusive behavior, and you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect in your marriage. If your husband is unwilling to seek help or change his behavior, it may be necessary to consider your options for leaving the relationship to ensure your safety and well-being.

Leaving an abusive relationship can be challenging, but you don't have to face it alone. There are people and resources available to support you every step of the way. Please prioritize your safety and take steps to protect yourself from further harm. You deserve to live a life free from abuse and violence.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1759 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 26, 2024Hindi
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Hi, my husband has been talking to my maid from last 3 years. Also, helped her for raising funds for her daughter's marriage without my knowledge. However, I caught him through his phone. That maid called him every now and then. They spoke for hours without my knowledge. Last time also the same thing happened but he promised me it will not happen again, hence I let it pass. Last time though his phone statement I caught him after which they started talking through what's app call. My husband is apologizing me and saying he didn't had a physical relationship with her and this will not happen again. I completely lost my trust on him. I didn't had intimacy from last 2 years and now after knowing this whenever he comes close I feel disgusted with his touch. I am the major contributor to the family financially. After doing so much for him and supporting him though his rough patch, this is what I got from him. I feel shattered now, what should I do? please help ????
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly this is not the first time that your husband has been involved in 'something on the side'.
When he shows no remorse and no willingness to change his ways, obviously he's seeking a lot of validation from external sources. In this case, it happens to be the maid. (I hope you have sacked the maid already!).

Obviously with repeated instances of him going back on his word, the trust factor is in question. Does he even care? Your marriage is in a place where you must now either work on putting it back OR give him an ultimatum. What will work in your case, is something that only you will know...
Time to bring your husband to his senses; which means perhaps involving a professional to guide you. You may have to go at this by yourself, seek help in managing your husband and his waywardness. Then your husband will be roped in to deal with his deep down need for validation and succumbing to it over and over again. Then you can begin to function as a single unit towards making the marriage work. This looks like a lot to go through BUT the decision is yours.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10874 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 12, 2026

Career
Hi, My daughter is in Class 10, she wants to Pursue for engineering, in our city ( Alwar, Rajasthan ) ,there is Coaching Classes of akash, allen, Vidyapeth ....should she take admission on thise or should i move to metropolitan city like Delhi, Pune Banagalore for getting More competitive envoirnment, she do not want to live alone. Pls guide as facaulty in Alwar or any Metropolitan city i am not aware much.
Ans: Abhishek Sir, The Fundamental Truth: Student Traits Trump Institutional Branding - Research consistently demonstrates that engineering entrance examination success—particularly JEE Main and Advanced—depends predominantly on student personality attributes rather than coaching institute reputation. A comprehensive study on personality types in engineering education found that students with traits including introversion, thinking preference, and judging orientation outperform their counterparts regardless of coaching environment. Multiple success stories document students from small Tier-2 cities like Alwar achieving top ranks through self-discipline, strategic planning, and resilience-driven preparation. The evidence is striking: 30% of IIT selections annually come from Tier-2 and Tier-3 cities, proving that location and coaching brand name are secondary factors.


Research shows that 95% of your success depends on factors YOU control—study hours, problem practice, concept clarity—while only 5% depends on coaching brand or location. This paradigm shift fundamentally changes the relocation decision. Remaining in Alwar with local coaching, combined with hybrid online learning resources, provides superior outcomes compared to metropolitan relocation for most students.


Ten Essential Criteria for Selecting the Right Coaching Institute
1. Faculty Expertise and Teaching Experience: Prioritize instructors with proven track records teaching JEE aspirants, not mere academic credentials. Experienced faculty simplify complex concepts through effective pedagogical methods and time-tested problem-solving strategies.

2. Success Rate and Track Record: Examine the past 5-8 years of consistent student performance, not just the current year's results. Institutions with sustained top-ranker production indicate proven teaching methodologies.

3. Study Material Quality: Evaluate comprehensive problem banks, previous years' question papers, and shortcut techniques. Superior study materials save preparation time substantially.

4. Batch Size and Individual Attention: Smaller class sizes enable personalized doubt-solving sessions and mentorship programs, identifying and addressing weaknesses effectively.

5. Mock Tests and Performance Analysis: Regular mock exams simulate actual exam conditions, develop time management skills, and provide performance data for strategy refinement.

6. Infrastructure and Facilities: Modern classrooms with digital boards, online lecture recordings, libraries, and comfortable study spaces create conducive learning environments.

7. Location and Accessibility: Proximity to home reduces travel fatigue, enabling more study hours. Local coaching eliminates the stress of independent hostel living.

8. Fee Structure and Financial Sustainability: Affordable coaching within family budget prevents financial stress that impairs academic concentration.

9. Online and Hybrid Learning Options: Access to supplementary online content from reputable platforms (Physics Wallah, Unacademy, etc.) bridges content gaps and provides flexible learning.

10. Feedback Mechanisms and Student Reviews: Current and alumni testimonials reveal realistic experiences regarding teaching quality, support systems, and actual student outcomes.

Why Alwar-Based Local Coaching with Hybrid Online Learning Outperforms Metropolitan Relocation
Smart Preparation Strategies as Primary Success Determinants:

Research emphasizes that smart preparation strategies—concept clarity, consistent practice, systematic error analysis, and strategic time management—drive JEE success far more than coaching institute location. Students from villages near Hoshangabad and remote areas achieved AIR under 4,000 through YouTube learning and self-discipline, validating that knowledge accessibility has democratized. Local coaching in Alwar provides daily discipline, scheduled classes, and peer accountability, while hybrid online resources supplement with best-in-class teaching.

Psychological and Personality Factors—The Ultimate Differentiators:

Engineering entrance success depends critically on student personality traits: attitude (positive mindset toward obstacles), aptitude (problem-solving ability), learning orientation (growth mindset), intrinsic motivation (self-driven study), self-commitment (consistency despite setbacks), resilience (bouncing back from failures), and patience (long-term perspective). These traits are developed at home under family support, not in metropolitan coaching centers. Research on personality types reveals that introverted, thinking-oriented, and judging-preference students outperform peers in engineering exams, suggesting that individual personality alignment with preparation strategies matters more than external environment.

Recommended Strategy for Your Daughter - Hybrid Preparation Model: Enroll in reputable local coaching in Alwar (providing structure, accountability, and doubt-solving) while supplementing with online platforms offering superior content quality. This combines cost-effectiveness, family emotional support, and world-class learning resources.

Focus Development: Prioritize developing personality traits through consistent self-discipline, maintaining error logs, analyzing mock test performance systematically, and building resilience through visualization and affirmations.

Why Not Metropolitan Relocation: Your daughter loses critical family emotional support, incurs substantial financial stress (affecting focus), and gains no competitive advantage since the JEE question paper is identical nationwide. Living independently at 16-17 years old, without demonstrated resilience, often compounds stress rather than enhancing preparation.

Success Validation: Students from Alwar and similar Tier-2 cities successfully crack JEE through local coaching combined with online resources, proving that strategic local preparation beats metropolitan relocation for most students. Invest in your daughter's personality trait development—discipline, resilience, intrinsic motivation, and patience—rather than relocating for coaching brand names. The evidence overwhelmingly supports that student-driven factors determine JEE success far more than coaching institute selection. All the BEST for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10874 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 12, 2026

Career
Hi, Want to ask what should be salary increment while moving to Metropolitan city compared to B class city
Ans: Abhishek Sir, Confused about salary expectations when relocating to a metro city? This comprehensive guide analyzes salary increments across India's major metropolitan cities—Mumbai, Bangalore, Delhi, Pune, Hyderabad, Chennai, and Kolkata—comparing living costs and real income advantages against B-class cities with data-backed recommendations. 1. MUMBAI - Recommended Salary Increment: 25-35% - Moving to Mumbai from a B-class city requires a salary increase of at least 25-35% due to significantly higher living costs. Mumbai ranks as India's most expensive city with a cost of living index of 26.5, reflecting housing costs of Rs.35,000-65,000 monthly for 1BHK apartments—substantially higher than B-class cities. Average living expenses for families range from Rs.82,000-1,00,000 monthly, with restaurant meals costing Rs.2,000+ and consumer goods priced 26% higher than alternative metros. However, Mumbai attracts highest talent concentration with unmatched career growth opportunities in finance, media, and corporate sectors. The city's 10.2% projected salary increment for 2026 indicates continued high compensation growth. While real income after expenses might be comparable to Tier-2 cities, Mumbai offers superior professional networking, world-class healthcare, and premium educational institutions. Consider a minimum 30% hike for comfortable living with savings capability.


2. BANGALORE - Recommended Salary Increment: 20-30% - Bangalore requires a moderate 20-30% salary increment compared to B-class cities, as it's more affordable than Mumbai yet costlier than emerging Tier-2 hubs. Monthly living expenses range from Rs.30,000-45,000 for bachelors, with 1BHK accommodation at Rs.15,000-30,000—significantly less than Mumbai's Rs.35,000-65,000. The city ranks 22.1 on the global cost-of-living index, barely higher than Delhi and Hyderabad. However, Bangalore commands salary premiums due to India's dominant IT/tech ecosystem with companies like Infosys, TCS, and startups offering competitive packages. Entry-level salaries average Rs.4-9 LPA, while mid-level professionals earn Rs.7-22 LPA. The 2026 projected increment of 10.1% reflects sustained growth. Housing costs are approximately 50% lower than Mumbai, and overall living expenses are 20% cheaper. A software engineer earns 25-40% more in Bangalore compared to Tier-2 cities like Indore, justifying the salary hike.

3. DELHI-NCR - Recommended Salary Increment: 20-28% - Delhi-NCR justifies a 20-28% salary increase due to moderate-to-high cost of living relative to B-class cities. Monthly expenses range from Rs.35,000-50,000 for bachelors and Rs.70,000-90,000 for families, with 1BHK rent starting from Rs.15,000 and increasing substantially in central areas. Delhi ranks 21.5 on the cost-of-living index—lower than Mumbai but comparable to Bangalore. The average salary in Delhi is Rs.41,600 monthly, which is lower than Bangalore or Mumbai but offset by better public transportation and relatively affordable food options. Delhi-NCR offers unique advantages through government policy influence (FAME-II initiatives, Delhi EV policy) driving sector-specific high salaries up to Rs.22-42 LPA for senior roles. The NCR region experiences 10.1% projected salary growth in 2026. While housing is more affordable than Mumbai, overall cost-of-living premiums are moderate, making a 20-25% increment sufficient for professional comfort and reasonable savings accumulation.

4. PUNE - Recommended Salary Increment: 15-25% - Pune warrants a modest 15-25% salary increment compared to B-class cities, representing the most cost-effective metropolitan alternative. Monthly living costs range from Rs.25,000-45,000, with 1BHK rent at Rs.18,000-30,000—significantly lower than Mumbai, Bangalore, or Delhi. Pune's cost-of-living index places it below major metros, offering exceptional value. Average salaries are Rs.50,000 monthly, with entry-level tech roles at ?3-8 LPA and mid-level professionals earning Rs.9-20 LPA. The automotive and IT sectors drive competitive compensation packages, with 2026 projections showing 10.4% salary growth—higher than Bangalore. Housing costs are 20-30% cheaper than Bangalore, and overall living expenses rank among India's most affordable major metros. Professionals often achieve better "real income" (disposable savings) in Pune despite lower nominal salaries compared to Bangalore or Mumbai. The city offers balanced career growth through diverse manufacturing and tech hubs while maintaining affordability. Pune represents optimal salary-to-living-cost ratio among metros.


5. HYDERABAD - Recommended Salary Increment: 18-28% - Hyderabad requires an 18-28% salary increase from B-class cities, offering excellent value-for-money living with metro-level opportunities. Monthly expenses range from Rs.30,000-45,000, comparable to Bangalore, with 1BHK accommodation at Rs.12,000-25,000—among India's most affordable metro options. Hyderabad's cost-of-living index stands at 21.6, marginally below Bangalore and Delhi. Average salaries reach ?50,000 monthly, with IT sector offering entry-level packages of Rs.3-7 LPA and mid-level positions at Rs.10-17 LPA. The pharmaceutical and IT industries provide stable, growing opportunities with 2026 salary projections at 10.2%. Hyderabad excels in the high-salary-to-cost-ratio category—professionals earning Rs.12-22 LPA face significantly lower housing costs than metros, resulting in superior real income and savings potential. The emerging EV and semiconductor sectors create specialized career growth paths. Infrastructure improvements and metro connectivity continue reducing transport costs. Professionals transitioning from Tier-2 cities consistently report better quality-of-life outcomes in Hyderabad despite moderate nominal salary increases.


6. CHENNAI - Recommended Salary Increment: 15-25% - Chennai justifies a 15-25% salary increment from B-class cities, balancing reasonable living costs with stable career opportunities. Monthly expenses range from Rs.25,000-40,000 for bachelors and Rs.45,000-70,000 for families—making it one of India's more affordable metros. Housing costs are comparable to Pune, with 1BHK rent at Rs.15,000-28,000. Average salaries reach Rs.40,000+ monthly, with manufacturing, automotive, and IT sectors offering entry-level packages at Rs.3-8 LPA and mid-level positions at Rs.7-18 LPA. The city's manufacturing heritage (Detroit of India) and growing IT services sector provide stable income. Top MBA packages reach Rs.14 LPA with 3-5 years post-MBA salaries at Rs.15-18 LPA. Cost-adjusted living remains favorable—housing is 30-40% cheaper than Mumbai and comparable to Hyderabad. Chennai offers superior work-life balance through shorter commutes and less pollution than major metros. The city attracts professionals prioritizing quality-of-life over maximum salary, making 20% increment sufficient for comfortable living with substantial savings.


7. KOLKATA - Recommended Salary Increment: 10-20% - Kolkata requires only a 10-20% salary increase from B-class cities, ranking among India's most affordable major metros. Monthly living expenses range from Rs.22,000-38,000 for bachelors and Rs.45,000-70,000 for families—significantly lower than all other metros. Housing costs are remarkably affordable at Rs.15,000-25,000 for 1BHK apartments. The average salary in Kolkata is Rs.27,200 monthly—the lowest among metros but reflecting regional salary structures. However, real income (disposable savings) often exceeds metros like Bangalore due to substantially lower cost of living. Kolkata offers rich cultural heritage, excellent educational institutions, and growing IT services sector. While salary growth is modest at comparable rates to other metros, professionals save more money monthly due to drastically reduced living expenses. The city suits individuals prioritizing savings accumulation and quality-of-life over maximum career advancement. Minimum 15% increment is recommended for reasonable comfort, though 10% may suffice for cost-conscious professionals. Kolkata represents the best value proposition for real income generation among India's metropolitan centers.

8. COMPARISON: Real Income Analysis -
Important Finding: Nominal Salary vs. Real Income Paradox - Research reveals that moving to a metropolitan city doesn't always guarantee superior real income (disposable savings). For example, an engineer earning Rs.18 LPA in Bangalore reduces salary to Rs.14 LPA when moving to Jaipur (22% cut), but real cost of living reduces by 40%, resulting in improved actual savings despite lower nominal salary. This paradox affects metropolitan relocation decisions significantly. Mumbai and Bangalore command 25-40% salary premiums over Tier-2 cities; however, housing costs are 50%+ higher, canceling much of the salary advantage. Pune, Hyderabad, and Chennai offer superior salary-to-cost ratios, where 18-25% salary increments provide better living standards than 30-35% increases in Mumbai. KPMG research shows that very few employers offer city compensatory allowances anymore—salary ranges are standardized across cities for identical roles. Professionals should calculate real income (salary minus living expenses) rather than focusing solely on nominal increases when deciding metropolitan relocations from B-class cities.


Key Recommendations for Metropolitan Relocation from B-Class Cities: Calculate Real Income: Compare actual disposable savings, not just salary figures.

Research City-Specific Costs: Housing typically accounts for 40-50% of living expenses - Industry Focus: Tech hubs (Bangalore, Pune) offer highest growth; finance prefers Mumbai.

Quality-of-Life Priority: Hyderabad and Chennai provide better value for work-life balance.

Career Stage Matters: Entry-level benefits most from metros; senior professionals gain less.

Hybrid Work Advantage: Negotiate metro-level salaries while living in Tier-2 cities.

Long-Term Planning: Factor HRA differences (27% metro vs. 20% Tier-2 under 8th Pay Commission).

The optimal salary increment ranges from 15-35% depending on metropolitan destination, with Pune and Hyderabad offering superior real income despite lower nominal increases compared to Mumbai and Bangalore. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |693 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 12, 2026

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |693 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 12, 2026

Relationship
Dear Sir, I am 45YO working in GCC and She is 45YO working in India govt banking sector. We met through matrimonial site in 2009. We liked each other and decided to get marry. But due to some arrogent way of talking of her and her mother with my mother, which I didn't like at all. So before gettting finalising and engagement, I decided to go away from her without hurting and it took 5 month in Feb 2010. Actually I AM AGAINST HURTING ANYBODY'D'S HEART. So I made a situaton like that she rejected me. While meeting we both decided, even though, if we are not getting married with other we will be as friends in future. So I got married in 2011 and She got married in 2012. After our marriage we got busy in our married life and we were not able to contact with other for several years. But in second half of 2019 we again came into to contact over phone WA. Once she demanded make-up box and some chocolates from GCC, so I provided through courier. Then her demand increased with mobile recharge, Sani-pads, U/garment, sometime cakes on birthdays for her and for her 2 daughters, for late father's, own mother even though her mother stays in different city, gifts through Amezon, Flipkaut, Zamato, Swiggu etc etc.. One day she told she want to marry me, because there were physical quarrel with the husband and MIL, So she want to get divorse due to dosmetic violence between them. I avoided this topic as I am happy with my married life. Then 1 day she had some gmeil problem she was not receving email so she shared password. So I cleared all the promotions and unuseful stuff from her gmeil account. But I was shocked when I saw that she had saved all communication of having extramarital affair chats of WA with her office 2 different colleagues and, 1 Garage mechanic and College friend all were vulgar chats and different-different years. Especially all vulgar words and arrangement and planning made by her to meet in different room location. There I came to know why her husband is so physical quarrel with her. She had mentioned about husband activity of beating to her. And so both of them want to get divorse. But this all thing I kept it confidential with me from her. Let she admit some day. But I am still waiting. Now after 2021 all this has stopped because I convinced her and made her feel what she was doing after meeting her. She admitted her mistake and she promised that she will not go in wrong path. She also said it happened unknowingly she went with the flow. But She pleaded me and wants my Love and want to marry me privately and for her happiness, she in under divorce process. She proposed me for marriage in 2021 till now I have avoided with some excuses. Coming to the main topic, since 2021 to 2025, whenever I visit India, we meet each other, as I too have soft-corner for her and Love her as we were first Love of each other in 2009. Everytime when I inform her that I am coming to India, her dreams flies in sky and tells me come soon, I want to marry with You. And every time she ask something or the other gift as mentioned above. How should I get rid of this burden of over-expenses. Due to this it is difficult to manage my monthly expenses, means "The snake has to be killed and the stick should remain intact". Everytime I tells her this month not possible next month for sure, but again after 2-3 days she comes with new demand. And I am sure, if I broke this relationship she will again go to wrong path as she is getting divorce. Pls give some tips how to reply her to stop these expenses from me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I just want to tell you one thing: since you are married happily, it would be best if you limit your interactions with this woman. She is consistently showing interest in marrying you, asking for an inappropriate amount of gifts and has demands from you like one has from their partner. Everything seems a little off. And also, it is not your responsibility to keep her from going in the wrong direction. She is a grown adult and should be able to handle it herself. The best decision is to distance yourself from her. If you can’t, you might want to still set some boundaries like telling her that you cannot continue speaking to her if she keeps telling you that she wants to marry you. I am sure your wife also doesn’t appreciate it. Let her know that you are in a happy marriage and you are not comfortable with her behavior. Also, you have every right to say no to all her demands. I understand that you two have a friendship, but there should be boundaries even in that.

Hope this helps

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Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |484 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 12, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2026Hindi
Money
Hi Sir- I am 40 years old married I have two kids 10 yrs and 7 yrs. My monthly salary is 1,60,000/- I have 45 lacs home loan EMI of Rs.71,000/- for next 7 years(closing December 2032). I will get rents around 30,000/-, I have taken term insurance for 2 CR. I have not taken outside health insurance, Only company health insurance is there. I need to pay school fees around 2 lakhs for both the kids per annum. My current PF balance is 10 Lakhs, Still no car purchased. I have invested in house plot(land) now its current market value is around 50 lakhs. Monthly expense is around 25 K,no rent,I need to take care of my parents. I have taken 4 lic policies(me,wife & kids),paying around 1 lakh,each policy 5 lakh maturity benefit.I have not planned my carrier financial requirements for next 20 years requirement,like PPF,MF,Sukanya samriddhi yojana, for my daughter, corpus amount.Now I am thinking of my kids education,health,marriage.Since I am working private sector not sure when what will happen.Atleast now I need to plan it correctly.Can you please share the best plan what can I do.
Ans: Hi,

You have done good so far, but the overall financials and investments are quite disorganized. Let us have a detailed look:
- You should have a dedicated emergency fund in FD; atleast 3 to 6 months of expenses
- Term cover taken seems good but also need a personal health insurance of minimum 10 lakhs to cover your family. It will come handy when you change job and at present your premium will be less as compared to if you purchase one in future.
- You have a flat with EMI 71k for next 7 years i.e. 44% of your income goes into this. This is a very bad purchase. One should not have any EMI exceeding 30% of salary. Either reduce your emi somehow or consider selling this as rent of 30k per month only gives you 1-2% rental yiled annually. Investing in other instruments guarantees a minimum 12% annual return.
- Land worth 50 lakhs - good but this is not liquid. Can hold it though for long term.
- 4 LIC policies - not at all required. LIC policies gives an annual return of 4-5% and are highly commissioned products which is not recommended to anyone. A simple FD would have been better than this. If you can, consider stopping these policies at a certain loss and redirect these investments to equity mutual funds for long term.

As you mentioned, you haven't planned for anything, you need some aggressive and well planned investments for
- kids education
- parents health
- your retirement
- kids marriage
- and any other major money goal you might have

71k from your current EMI and another 29k from your salary - total 1 lakhs should be invested per month into equity and hybrid mutual funds as per goals. 1 lakh for next 20 years (assuming 14% cagr and 10% step up) will give you 22 crores after 20 years.
And any further increase in investments will increase the corpus amount.

Hence, you need to work with a dedicated professional to start your investments in alignment with your current situation.
You should consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10874 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 11, 2026

Career
Hello, I am currently in Class 12 and preparing for JEE. I have not yet completed even 50% of the syllabus properly, but I aim to score around '110' marks in april attempt. Could you suggest an effective strategy to achieve this? I know the target is relatively low, but I have category reservation, so it should be sufficient.
Ans: Yash, Here are 15 Steps/Tips/Techniques/Strategies for your APRIL JEE Session: Step 1: Prioritize High-Weightage Chapters Using 80/20 Rule - Identify topics that appear repeatedly in past papers and contribute maximum marks with minimum effort. In Physics, focus on Modern Physics, Current Electricity, and Optics first. Chemistry demands Chemical Bonding, Coordination Compounds, and Electrochemistry. Mathematics requires Calculus and Coordinate Geometry mastery. These chapters alone cover 60-70% marks, requiring strategic study rather than comprehensive coverage of entire syllabus.

Step 2: Create Focused Subject-Wise High-ROI Chapter Lists -
Develop a short, manageable "core list" by categorizing chapters into four buckets: low-input-high-weightage (prioritize first), high-input-high-weightage (attempt only if basics exist), low-input-low-weightage (quick bonus coverage), high-input-low-weightage (skip entirely). This marks-per-hour game ensures every study session converts into guaranteed marks rather than spreading effort thinly across 100 chapters.

Step 3: Master Formula Notebooks for Quick Daily Revision -
Dedicate 30-45 minutes daily to maintaining organized formula sheets per subject. Physics: compile all formulas in unit-wise order with numerical tricks. Chemistry: organize key reactions, reagents, and NCERT-based exceptions. Mathematics: create method sheets for circles, derivatives, integration with standard approaches. These notebooks become invaluable during final 30 days when revision replaces learning.

Step 4: Implement Daily Balanced Subject Rotation Schedule -
Study physics in morning (formulas + numericals), chemistry in afternoon (reactions + concepts), and mathematics in evening (practice + shortcuts) to prevent mental fatigue and maintain subject continuity. This balanced rotation keeps all three subjects equally developed rather than neglecting weak areas. Night time allocates 1-2 hours reviewing weak topics and analyzing errors.

Step 5: Follow NCERT-First Approach Exclusively for Chemistry -
Since chemistry is NCERT-dominant, read NCERT chapters line-by-line and mark exceptions or variations. Many JEE questions are directly lifted from NCERT examples, tables, and definitions. Organic chemistry requires understanding reaction mechanisms and named reactions. Inorganic chemistry demands memorizing periodic trends and coordination compound basics. This focused NCERT approach guarantees 25-30 marks with minimal time investment.

Step 6: Practice 20-30 Previous Years Questions Daily Per Subject -
Solve minimum 20 topic-wise previous year questions (2019-2025) daily for each subject instead of attempting entire mock tests. This targeted PYQ approach reveals recurring question patterns, examiner preferences, and question difficulty. Timed PYQ practice (15-20 minutes per question for math, 5-10 minutes for physics/chemistry) develops exam-relevant speed without overwhelming effort.

Step 7: Dedicate Weekly Revision Hours for Already-Completed Chapters -
Allocate specific days weekly for revising previously studied chapters using formula notebooks and quick notes. Monday = revise week-1 chapters, Tuesday = week-2 chapters, and so on. This prevents knowledge gaps and reinforces retention through spaced repetition without requiring fresh learning or lengthy study sessions.

Step 8: Conduct Weekly Mock Tests with Detailed 3-Step Analysis -
Take one full-length mock test weekly (increasing to 2-3 per week as exam approaches). Immediately analyze: Step 1 - identify wrong questions and their topics; Step 2 - understand why you answered incorrectly; Step 3 - practice 5-10 similar questions from PYQs. This systematic analysis prevents repeating same mistakes, unlike taking tests without review.


Step 9: Build Subject-Wise Weak-Area Remediation Tracker -
Maintain a simple spreadsheet tracking weak topics (especially in your already-studied 50% syllabus). Monthly (or bi-weekly), allocate 2-3 extra hours practicing only these weak chapters using PYQs and formula-based approaches. Strengthening weak areas early improves accuracy without requiring complete re-learning of strong topics.

Step 10: Develop Exam-Day First-30-Minutes Question Scanning Strategy -
Practice spending first 5 minutes reading entire question paper without solving, marking easy, medium, and difficult questions. This pre-examination scan builds a mental roadmap for attempt sequence. Target easy questions first (securing quick confidence and marks), medium questions next, and difficult questions last only if time permits. This two-round strategy ensures maximum marks via accuracy over volume.

Step 11: Use "One-Shot" Learning for Remaining 50% Syllabus Chapters -
For chapters not yet studied, dedicate 3-5 days per chapter combining concept understanding (2-3 days) + basic numerical practice. Avoid lengthy derivations or complex applications; focus only on formula-based questions likely in JEE. This intensive-but-brief coverage helps you attempt 5-6 extra questions from new chapters rather than leaving them completely untouched.


Step 12: Maintain Daily Error Log with Root-Cause Analysis -
After solving each practice set or mock test, document wrong answers categorized by reason: conceptual misunderstanding, calculation error, misreading question, time management, or silly mistakes. Reviewing this log (15 minutes daily) identifies your specific weakness pattern, enabling targeted remediation rather than generic revision.


Step 13: Allocate Minimum 8 Weeks Before April Exam for Exclusive Revision -
Reserve final 60-70 days (approximately 8-10 weeks before April session) exclusively for revision, PYQ practice, and mock tests without learning new chapters. Early completion (by mid-February) of priority chapters ensures adequate revision time—the single most crucial factor for accuracy improvement from 40-60% conversion to 70-85% conversion rates.

Step 14: Practice Timed Subject-Wise Question Sets for Speed Development -
Solve 10-15 questions from single topics under 20-minute time limits weekly (mathematics), or 5-10 questions in 15-minute limits (physics/chemistry). Progressive timed practice develops exam-relevant speed without causing pressure anxiety. Gradually reduce time allocation by 10-15% monthly to approach actual exam pace naturally.


Step 15: Maintain Positive Mindset and Consistency Over Perfection Mindset -
Study 6-8 hours daily with genuine focus rather than exhausting 12+ hours with low-concentration study. Take short 5-10 minute breaks every 1-2 hours. Avoid comparing your progress with other students, especially those completing entire syllabus. Consistency in daily effort, weekly mock analysis, and monthly weak-area remediation guarantees 110+ marks far more reliably than sporadic intense cramming sessions.

Your 110-mark target with category reservation is absolutely achievable through strategic focus on high-weightage chapters (60-70 marks), quick learnable new topics (20-30 marks), and error-free execution of already-studied 50% syllabus (20-30 marks). The research emphasizes that smart selection and deep mastery of 30-40 chapters beats shallow coverage of all 100 chapters for competitive exam success.

Key Validation: Multiple reliable educational portals confirm that students with incomplete syllabus routinely score 140-170 marks through strategic focus on high-ROI topics, proving your 110-mark goal is conservative and highly realistic.

Consistency over intensity remains the universal recommendation—study 6-8 hours daily with absolute focus, practice 20-30 previous year questions daily per subject, analyze every mock test thoroughly, and maintain weak-area tracking sheets for monthly review cycles. Additionally, if your schedule allows, supplement your preparation with EduJob360 YouTube videos featuring practical strategies for JEE Main and Advanced exam performance. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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