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Physical abuse is an absolute NO and so is emotional abuse. I am glad that you have decided to end this misery for yourself and your daughter.
Please proceed with the FIR and also seek help on filing divorce if that is something that you have considered.
On the emotional part of it, it will take a toll on you and your health as you are unprepared at this moment. So start by:
1. Visualizing your life without him by your side
2. Working out granular details like finances and where you will live
3. Chalking out a plan of how your daughter will be cared for if you choose to start working
4. Listing down which close family member will be by your side (emotionally) always
As daunting as this may seem, it is possible to be in a space of strength which you already have experienced and move ahead to a better life.
And as you do this, do remember that you are important, so take care of your thoughts and feelings as well.
Situations maybe tough to handle but building strength within at the right time is what is the need of the hour.
I wish you the best in life always.
Since you want to continue in the marriage, that choice is something I presume that has emerged after a lot of thought and I respect it.
The way this marriage will work is communicate clearly to him that his philandering ways have to stop as it is affecting you and the marriage.
If this doesn’t work, he seriously needs help in dealing with this…sometimes people don’t realise that they are jeopardizing their marriages.
I am not defending him but simply stating that sometimes people get themselves into a trap of not so useful situations and quite don’t know how to get out of it.
Also, what he might gain from so many extra marital relationships is something that he needs to find in other ways rather than swaying outside of the marriage.
This requires him to work with an expert as he will most likely not yield to your requests like in the past. Mere talking will not be enough; he possibly needs intensive therapy.
This will help him reunite with his family that he loves so much and he can be around completely without having to seek pleasure outside eroding the foundation of marriage.
As he seems to get better, it’s time for you to live your life as well, right?
What is it that you haven’t done in years? What is it that you gave up after marriage or after having kids?
What excites you enough for you to step up for yourself and create your own happiness? Simply DO THAT.
This will help you get back on your feet; who knows you might discover something that actually may end up becoming a money generator as well!
I wish you the best!
You have a husband who is an unemployed, good-for-nothing bum, who doesn't show you respect, steals from you, lives apart from you, likes to associate with call girls, blames you for his failures, beats you and doesn't care if you have an affair.
He ‘talks to your daughters sometimes’.
Honey, you need to be emailing a divorce lawyer, not this column. And do it immediately.
Yes, you're more than just a mother and you do deserve emotional support. You should be kicking his ass to the curb pronto.
This is an unfortunate turn of events for a situation that needed an open communication between the two of you.
Now, why you were insecure or why your husband didn’t want to see your perspective is anybody’s guess! But nothing justifies his beating you.
And as for his alcohol consumption, it his choice to weaken his senses even further and not wanting to face the situation at hand. And it makes no sense whatsoever when you say that after the lady started to travel with him, he accepted you.
Why does he need another person to step in to accept you? This all points more as a thing that your husband needs to work on.
Possibly he is dealing with more insecurity than you are and hence this behaviour from him. Of course, I cannot judge him without knowing his version of the story, but if you want to get past this, it’s time to have that open communication; involve a third person who will be neutral to mediate and bring in some much-needed perspectives into your relationship.
All the best and be strong!