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Will My Parents Ever Accept My Marriage to a Vegetable Seller's Daughter?

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |27 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
Shreyas Question by Shreyas on Mar 05, 2025Hindi
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Hello, Expert I deeply love a girl and wish to marry her. However, her family's financial background is modes they are vegetable sellers. Because of this, my parents are not fully supportive of our marriage, though they are pretending to be happy in front of me. I can sense their hidden concerns. What should I do in this situation This version keeps your emotions intact while making the message clearer and more elegant. Let me know if you'd like any further refinements!

Ans: Hello sir! People do have different backgrounds. No two persons can have exactly same financial backgrounds. As long as you are settled and you are accepting her by heart, her financial background doesn't really matter. But one thing is there that you should not make her realise at any point of time that she has a weak background than you. You can slowly convince your parents also to accept the girl by heart and include her in your family. I hope this solves your problem.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Reach me: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi
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I am in a relationship from last 2 years. We are very happy together. But when my parents came to know about us they apposed it as we both belong to different castes different social backgrounds i am from a upper middle class family and he is from lower middle class family. He made his career from scratch. I Don't want to hurt my parents by going against them. They always told me how much they care for me what they have done for me and all that i will ruin there reputation by getting married to him. On the other hand i love him so much , he is a very nice person he cares for me a lot and i know i will never be happy without him. What should i do.. nowadays i Don't feel like talking to anyone and my family thinks i dont love them and i am ignoring them which is not the case i just don't feel like talking. What should i do to convince them for us...?
Ans: Navigating this situation requires sensitivity and careful communication. Start by having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Explain your feelings and how much this relationship means to you. Emphasize the qualities that make your partner a good match for you, such as his care and commitment.

Acknowledge their concerns and express gratitude for their care and the sacrifices they've made for you. Reassure them that your love for them hasn't changed and that you value their opinions. Try to understand their perspective and address their worries about social status and reputation.

You might also consider arranging a meeting between your parents and your partner. This can help them see his positive attributes and understand why you love him. Show them how he has built his career from scratch, demonstrating his determination and resilience.

It's important to remain patient and give your parents time to adjust to the idea. Meanwhile, continue to express your love and respect for them, reinforcing that your decision is based on your happiness and future well-being.

Balancing your love for your partner and respect for your parents is difficult, but with open communication and patience, you can work towards finding a middle ground that respects everyone's feelings.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 27, 2024Hindi
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Hello Mam, My concern is about my love marriage. My parents are not ok with my inter caste marraige but I love the person since 9yrs. My partner is living near our house so all my family knows him well. Though he was not so rich at that time and he was working in his uncle's shop so my parents have a negative perspective regarding that. But now he is settled down he owe his house too. But still my parents are not ok with him. While asking to my parents there answer is he is not your type. My mother has a concern about my future that I will not be able to live happily with him. My mother use to tell me that he is having affairs with other gurls in past and if he does the same in future and torture or harass you then there will be nobody standing beside you as you have done love marriage. I am pretty much sure that he is not having any drastic past that my mother perhaps heard from anyone. But I don't understand how to convince and make her realise that. Simultaneously my partner has a worst habit of anger which is a big sign of disrespectful for which I am in a dilemma what to do. Kindly help me out that how can I make my partner understand and simultaneously my parents.
Ans: First, it’s important to acknowledge your parents' fears, as they often stem from a place of love and concern for your well-being. When discussing your relationship with them, try to have an open and honest conversation. Share your feelings and the strong bond you have with your partner. Highlight the positive changes he has made in his life and how committed he is to your future together. If you can, invite them to see your partner in a different light by arranging casual meetings or family gatherings. This may help alleviate some of their worries, as they can see firsthand the person you love.

However, you also need to reflect on the concerns your mother has raised regarding your partner’s past and anger issues. These are serious points that shouldn't be overlooked. It’s crucial to have a candid discussion with your partner about his temper. Express your feelings about how his anger affects you and your relationship. Ask him to be open about his past and to reassure you about his commitment to a healthy, respectful relationship moving forward. If he truly values your relationship, he should be willing to address this aspect of himself and work on it.

Consider suggesting couples counseling or anger management if he struggles to manage his emotions. This shows that you care about the relationship and want to build a future together. It’s important to feel secure in your relationship, especially when facing external pressures.

Balancing your parents’ concerns and your love for your partner can be challenging, but clear communication with both parties is key. Be honest with your parents about your feelings and be proactive in addressing their concerns with your partner. Ultimately, you deserve a partner who respects you and your family while being committed to your happiness. If you can find a way to navigate these conversations, it will help you build a stronger foundation for your future together.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8183 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 04, 2025Hindi
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Money
i need guidance. i am 63 yrs with housing loan of 70lakh. Only asset is a house with market value 2 crore. i have 2 daughters to be married. I need to retire and start my practice as doctor. Guie me to a investment to live with 30000 monthly and to buy a house 0f 8 lakhs after disposing the property/ Presently earning 1.5L per month. pl suggest. shud i sell the property
Ans: Your situation requires a well-thought-out financial strategy. You have a housing loan of Rs 70 lakh, a house worth Rs 2 crore, and a need for Rs 30,000 per month after retirement. Additionally, you plan to buy a house worth Rs 8 lakh and have two daughters to be married. Below is a structured approach to help you achieve financial stability.

Selling the Property – A Necessary Step?
Selling your house is a practical option. Your outstanding loan is Rs 70 lakh, and the house is worth Rs 2 crore.

After repaying the loan, you will have Rs 1.3 crore. This can be used for investments and future expenses.

If you continue living in this house, EMIs will be a burden. Selling will free you from debt and give you financial stability.

Consider renting a home instead of buying again. This will keep more money available for investments.

Buying a House for Rs 8 Lakh
If you want to buy a smaller house for Rs 8 lakh, use only a small portion of your funds.

Avoid taking another loan. Pay for the house in full from the sale proceeds.

Ensure the house is in a location with good facilities, medical access, and safety.

Creating an Investment Plan for Rs 1.3 Crore
After selling your house and clearing the loan, you will need an investment plan.

Keep Rs 10-15 lakh in a bank FD or liquid mutual funds. This will act as an emergency fund.

Invest Rs 30-40 lakh in debt mutual funds. These provide stability and liquidity.

Invest Rs 50 lakh in equity mutual funds for long-term wealth growth. Use regular plans with a Certified Financial Planner.

Keep Rs 10-15 lakh in a balanced fund for moderate returns with lower risk.

Generating Rs 30,000 Monthly Income
Debt mutual funds can provide a stable withdrawal option. Withdraw systematically for monthly expenses.

Use a mix of dividend and growth options. This ensures you get both regular income and capital appreciation.

Equity funds will provide growth, helping you sustain your money for 20-25 years.

Managing Daughters’ Marriage Expenses
If you need Rs 20-30 lakh for each daughter’s wedding, set aside Rs 40-60 lakh from the sale proceeds.

Invest this amount in a mix of debt and equity funds. This will help you reach your goal in a few years.

Avoid withdrawing from your retirement corpus for wedding expenses.

Starting Your Medical Practice
If you plan to start a medical practice, keep Rs 10-20 lakh for setting it up.

Avoid heavy investments in infrastructure initially. Work from an existing clinic or shared space.

Ensure you have medical indemnity insurance to protect yourself.

Final Insights
Selling your house will give you financial freedom and remove loan pressure.

Invest wisely to generate a steady monthly income and secure your daughters' futures.

Do not invest in real estate again. Keep your funds liquid and flexible.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner to review your investments regularly.

Focus on financial security rather than high-risk investments.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8183 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2025

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Dear Sir, I am 47 years old IT professional. My current salary is 1.5 lakhs per month. I have a daughter who just completed her 10th board exam. My corpus is around 1.6Cr FD&PPF; 30 lakhs in MF & stocks; 50 lakhs in EPF. I have no debt and living in my own house. Please suggest if I can plan for retirement
Ans: Your financial position is strong, and planning for retirement at 47 is a smart decision. Below is a detailed 360-degree approach to assess whether you can retire comfortably and how to ensure financial security.

Understanding Your Current Financial Position
Income: Rs 1.5 lakh per month.

Corpus:

Rs 1.6 crore in Fixed Deposits (FD) and Public Provident Fund (PPF).

Rs 30 lakh in mutual funds and stocks.

Rs 50 lakh in Employees' Provident Fund (EPF).

Liabilities: No debts.

Assets: Own house, ensuring no rent or EMI burden.

Family Responsibility:

Daughter has just completed the 10th board exam.

Higher education expenses need to be planned.

Key Considerations Before Retirement
Expected Retirement Age

If you plan to retire early (before 55), corpus sustainability needs careful assessment.

If you work till 60, it will provide a larger financial cushion.

Post-Retirement Expenses

Living expenses, healthcare, travel, and lifestyle costs must be considered.

Inflation will increase future expenses.

Daughter’s Education

Higher education costs are significant.

Corpus should cover both education and retirement without compromise.

Medical Expenses

Health costs increase with age.

A high health insurance cover is essential.

Wealth Growth vs. Safety

A mix of equity and debt investments ensures growth while preserving capital.

Excessive reliance on FDs and PPF may limit long-term wealth accumulation.

Assessing If You Can Retire Comfortably
Current Corpus Size

Rs 2.4 crore (excluding house) is a strong starting point.

But, inflation will reduce its real value over time.

Expected Corpus Growth

Investments in mutual funds and stocks should continue to grow.

PPF and EPF offer stable but lower returns.

Withdrawals Post-Retirement

Sustainable withdrawals should not deplete the corpus too soon.

A balanced investment strategy is required.

Gaps in Planning

Heavy reliance on FDs and PPF may not be ideal.

More equity exposure can ensure inflation-beating returns.

Steps to Strengthen Your Retirement Plan
1. Optimising Investment Strategy
Continue investing in mutual funds with a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds.

Reduce dependence on FDs for long-term needs.

Equity mutual funds help counter inflation and grow wealth.

Avoid index funds as they provide average returns without active management.

Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offer expert monitoring.

Diversify investments between equity, debt, and fixed-income products.

2. Planning for Daughter’s Education
Higher education costs can be Rs 30-50 lakh in the next 5-7 years.

Separate this goal from your retirement plan.

Increase equity investment to build an education corpus.

Avoid withdrawing from retirement savings for education.

3. Building a Healthcare Safety Net
Health insurance should cover at least Rs 30-50 lakh.

Consider super top-up plans for additional coverage.

Maintain an emergency medical fund to cover non-insured expenses.

Review insurance policies periodically.

4. Creating a Sustainable Withdrawal Plan
Avoid withdrawing a large portion of the corpus in early retirement years.

Keep at least 5 years of expenses in liquid assets.

Equity exposure should reduce gradually as retirement progresses.

Use dividends and interest income before selling assets.

Final Insights
Retirement is possible, but adjustments are needed for long-term security.

Continue investing aggressively for the next few years.

Ensure daughter's education is planned separately.

Review investments and insurance regularly.

Keep flexibility in withdrawal strategy post-retirement.

A structured plan will ensure a financially secure and comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8183 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 03, 2025Hindi
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Money
My employer offers a salary sacrifice scheme for pension contributions, but I don't fully understand how it works. What are the potential advantages and disadvantages of joining such a scheme, and how does it affect my take-home pay and long-term financial planning?
Ans: A salary sacrifice scheme for pension contributions allows you to give up a portion of your salary in exchange for increased employer contributions to your pension. It has tax and National Insurance (NI) advantages but also some potential drawbacks.

How Salary Sacrifice for Pension Works
You agree to reduce your gross salary by a chosen amount.

Your employer contributes this amount directly to your pension.

Since your taxable salary is lower, you pay less income tax and NI.

Your employer also saves on NI and may pass on some or all of this saving to your pension.

Advantages
1. Tax and NI Savings
You don’t pay income tax or NI on the sacrificed amount.

Your employer saves on NI (currently 13.8%) and may increase your pension with these savings.

2. Higher Pension Contributions
Since more money goes into your pension, your retirement corpus grows faster.

Compounding over time enhances long-term wealth.

3. Increased Take-Home Pay
Although you sacrifice part of your salary, the NI savings may offset some of the reduction.

Depending on employer policies, your net pay may not drop significantly.

4. Potential Employer Matching
Some employers pass their NI savings into your pension, increasing your total contributions.

Disadvantages
1. Reduced Gross Salary
A lower salary means reduced future pay rises if they are percentage-based.

Life cover, sick pay, and redundancy pay linked to salary may be affected.

2. Lower Borrowing Capacity
Mortgage applications consider salary; a lower reported income might reduce borrowing potential.

3. Impact on State Benefits
If salary drops below certain thresholds, statutory benefits like maternity pay and state pension could be affected.

4. Restricted Access to Pension
The extra pension savings cannot be accessed before retirement (except under specific conditions).

Effect on Take-Home Pay
Your net pay will be slightly lower, but less than the actual amount sacrificed.

The tax and NI savings cushion the impact.

If your employer adds their NI savings, your total retirement savings increase.

Effect on Long-Term Financial Planning
Your pension fund grows faster, improving retirement security.

Short-term disposable income is slightly reduced, so budget planning is important.

Consider how the reduced salary affects other financial goals like buying a house or saving for education.

Should You Opt for It?
If employer NI savings are passed to your pension, it’s highly beneficial.

If you are close to lower tax bands or state benefit thresholds, assess the impact.

If you plan to apply for a mortgage, check how it affects your eligibility.

A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help assess your personal situation before making a decision.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8183 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 03, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hi Sir , Greetings of the day!! hope you are doing well !! I want to do a savings of 50 lacs in as much less time span as possible because I want to buy a property in Gurgaon. My monthly salary is 1 lac 11k and I am currently investing 10k in mutual fund monthly and 50k in nps yearly. Can you please guide me how can I save 50 lacs and in how much time ?
Ans: Your goal of saving Rs 50 lakh for a property in Gurgaon is ambitious but achievable with the right strategy. Below is a structured approach to help you reach your target in the shortest possible time.

Understanding Your Current Financial Position
Your monthly salary is Rs 1.11 lakh.

You invest Rs 10,000 per month in mutual funds.

Your annual NPS contribution is Rs 50,000.

You haven't mentioned any liabilities or existing savings. If you have any ongoing EMIs or debts, they should be factored in.

Key Considerations for Achieving Rs 50 Lakh Target
The speed of reaching Rs 50 lakh depends on savings rate and returns.

High savings rate is the most reliable way to accumulate wealth.

Investment returns are uncertain and depend on market conditions.

A balanced approach is necessary to ensure stability and growth.

Increasing Your Savings Rate
Currently, you are investing Rs 10,000 per month.

If you can increase it to Rs 50,000 per month, you will reach Rs 50 lakh faster.

Cutting discretionary expenses will free up more money for investments.

Consider reducing unnecessary spending on dining out, luxury items, and vacations.

Redirect bonuses, incentives, or salary hikes towards savings.

Choosing the Right Investment Instruments
Mutual Funds for Growth
Actively managed equity mutual funds can generate better returns than fixed deposits.

A mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds can balance risk and reward.

Mid-cap and small-cap funds have higher growth potential but also higher volatility.

Avoid index funds as they provide average returns and lack active risk management.

Debt Investments for Stability
Fixed deposits, debt mutual funds, and PPF provide stability.

These should be used for short-term parking rather than long-term growth.

Debt mutual funds are taxed based on your income tax slab.

Avoid locking too much money in low-return instruments.

Balancing Risk and Return
Investing entirely in equity mutual funds can generate high returns but comes with volatility.

A mix of 80% equity and 20% debt can provide stability.

As your target nears, shift more funds towards safer instruments.

Avoid speculation and high-risk investments like cryptocurrency.

Role of NPS in Your Goal
NPS is good for retirement but not ideal for short-term goals.

Partial withdrawal is allowed only under specific conditions.

Do not rely on NPS for your property purchase.

Managing Tax Efficiency
Equity mutual fund LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt mutual fund gains are taxed as per your income slab.

Investing in tax-efficient instruments will maximize returns.

Estimating the Timeframe
If you invest Rs 50,000 per month, you can accumulate Rs 50 lakh in about 7-8 years with moderate returns.

If you invest Rs 75,000 per month, you can reach Rs 50 lakh in about 5 years.

The faster you increase your savings, the sooner you will achieve your goal.

Final Insights
Increase your monthly investment to at least Rs 50,000.

Focus on actively managed equity mutual funds.

Keep a small portion in debt for stability.

Avoid unnecessary expenses and invest salary increments.

Do not depend on NPS for this goal.

Monitor and adjust your portfolio as needed.

Stay disciplined and patient to achieve your target.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1092 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2025

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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