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Love marriage with an angry partner and disapproving parents - what should I do?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 27, 2024Hindi
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Hello Mam, My concern is about my love marriage. My parents are not ok with my inter caste marraige but I love the person since 9yrs. My partner is living near our house so all my family knows him well. Though he was not so rich at that time and he was working in his uncle's shop so my parents have a negative perspective regarding that. But now he is settled down he owe his house too. But still my parents are not ok with him. While asking to my parents there answer is he is not your type. My mother has a concern about my future that I will not be able to live happily with him. My mother use to tell me that he is having affairs with other gurls in past and if he does the same in future and torture or harass you then there will be nobody standing beside you as you have done love marriage. I am pretty much sure that he is not having any drastic past that my mother perhaps heard from anyone. But I don't understand how to convince and make her realise that. Simultaneously my partner has a worst habit of anger which is a big sign of disrespectful for which I am in a dilemma what to do. Kindly help me out that how can I make my partner understand and simultaneously my parents.

Ans: First, it’s important to acknowledge your parents' fears, as they often stem from a place of love and concern for your well-being. When discussing your relationship with them, try to have an open and honest conversation. Share your feelings and the strong bond you have with your partner. Highlight the positive changes he has made in his life and how committed he is to your future together. If you can, invite them to see your partner in a different light by arranging casual meetings or family gatherings. This may help alleviate some of their worries, as they can see firsthand the person you love.

However, you also need to reflect on the concerns your mother has raised regarding your partner’s past and anger issues. These are serious points that shouldn't be overlooked. It’s crucial to have a candid discussion with your partner about his temper. Express your feelings about how his anger affects you and your relationship. Ask him to be open about his past and to reassure you about his commitment to a healthy, respectful relationship moving forward. If he truly values your relationship, he should be willing to address this aspect of himself and work on it.

Consider suggesting couples counseling or anger management if he struggles to manage his emotions. This shows that you care about the relationship and want to build a future together. It’s important to feel secure in your relationship, especially when facing external pressures.

Balancing your parents’ concerns and your love for your partner can be challenging, but clear communication with both parties is key. Be honest with your parents about your feelings and be proactive in addressing their concerns with your partner. Ultimately, you deserve a partner who respects you and your family while being committed to your happiness. If you can find a way to navigate these conversations, it will help you build a stronger foundation for your future together.
Asked on - Sep 30, 2024 | Not Answered yet
Thank you for your valuable words mam. But I know my partner is not having any such past. But now I am literally afraid and broken seeing my parents crying for me. So I don't have enough guts to speak to them also. Because as my Father is not well so I don't want to give him any trauma but I don't have enough time for Marriage as my partners family need it to be soon. So currently I am distressed about how to deal in this situation. Because from waking up to sleeping I am looking at my parents crying face which is hard to resist. So still I am trying to confess them or talk to them I am not getting any sort of guts to do that. What should I do mam and how should I deal with this situation?

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2022

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Hi Ma’am. I’m having a problem with my parents about my marriage. I’ve been in a relationship for three years and I want to marry him. My parents are not agreeing as it is a society issue because it is an interstate and inter-caste marriage. I'm trying to convince my parents for that since long time but it's going nowhere and they are too stubborn to even meet him once. What can I do in this situation? How can I deal with their emotional drama as a parent-child relationship should not break because of these issues? Kindly advise me, Ma’am. AS
Ans:

Dear AS,

You need to focus on how you can marry the person you love and also have your parents support you.

Is this possible?

There is a chance only if you take them into complete confidence and appeal to their logic.

Many societies are still against inter-caste marriages and I am sure they have their reasons for it, just like your parents have strong reasons to oppose the marriage.

Have you tried to find out why they oppose it? Are they worried about how they will face your family members as this is a big thing across cultures in the world?

As their daughter, you have connections with them as well as the right to live your life your way. Bring in an elder member of the family and ask him/her to appeal on your behalf. If this doesn’t work, you might be forced to decide one way or the other.

Whatever you do, do it with conviction and maintain relationships along the way. It may be an uphill task but breathe, smile and live life.

All the best, Happy 2022!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 25, 2024Hindi
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Hi mam, actually I am having a trouble in my relationship. Me and my partner are from different castes but we love each other. Due to the fear of my parents I told him some days back that my parents will never agree for our marriage as he is one year younger than me, he is from different caste and we both are in the final stage of our professional course and have not gone for job yet. But we are unable to leave each other and keep on crying. Now I am thinking of talking about this to my parents once my exams are over in a couple of months because I'm already 24 and they will start looking for alliance for me. But my partner is like there's no problem on his side but he doesn't want me to hurt and ruin relationship with my parents due to this disclosure and says that its never going to happen with heavy emotions and teary eyes. I am also unable to control my emotions and tears. Please advise me on what to do please mam....
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, your partner is being kind and thinking for you and your relationship with your parents. It is a nice trait to have to be empathetic but it may cost him the relationship. And he has taken this stance only because you have talked him about how fearful you are of your parents.
I guess instead of giving up like this, why don't the two of you sit down as adults and discuss how to talk to your parents and make this happen. When you act against what society and family set as norms, you should have expected something to go against the fairy tale event, right?
Since you did not set this tone in mind, now it's about taking the bull by the horns and finding what's the best solution. Why give up?

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2024Hindi
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Mam i am in relationship for 9 years now..he became my boyfriend when i shifted in my new house he was my neighbour..i was in 10th when i got caught and since then my parents hate my boyfriend , i apologized to my parents then and said to have no contact with my boyfriend but 9 years down the lane ..we are totally connected and living a peaceful healthy relationship..my parents hate my boyfriend and his family to the core..my relationship with ny parents are.mixed someday they will be super nice to me , another day they will abuse me for evn small things..we have ups and down in our relationship but i love them a lott , i want to care of them in their old age..but at this point i want to talk to them about my boyfriend but seeinng that they hate him so much i am literally very very afraid that my parents will hate me to their core knowing about someone i want to marry whoom they hate soo much ..... i don't know how will they react .. i am been through physcial and verbal abuse earlier too but i don't know how much worse it can get this time..for them the girl who marry their parents choice is the best in the world..my boyfriend and i have no caste issue its just the ego issues with my parents they think karrying into that house they will never able to have good enough respect though my mother and his mother talk..but that too my mother bitch a lott about her mother for even nonsensical things..i am 24 now and preparing for government exam ...i am soo much stress knowing i have to choose between my love or my parents.....i think so even if i marry him with their superficail consent they will never be happy woth me..and can even cut contacts with me...i don't know what to do i have no elder in my house to make parents explain...mam plss show me some path
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No where have you mentioned what your boyfriend does for a living? Could this be the reason that your parents refuse to acknowledge your relationship?
Parents want the best for their children but at times their own beliefs on love marriages etc can come in the way. Since you are an adult, it is time to actually start acting like one. My suggestion is to have a conversation with them and understand the reason for their refusal to accept your boyfriend. If it is one of society and family objection, then you know how to handle it BUT if their concern is more about his character or his job, you both need to make an effort to take away that concern so that they accept all this wholeheartedly.
Find the reason and things will become clearer as to how you must handle the situation.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2024Hindi
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Hello mam, glad to find you here. Mam, I'm a female, 27 yrs, I have been in a relationship with my partner since 9yrs, but he is from different caste. We both were immature when we started our relationship but our relationship grew stronger as time passed.We have gone through ups and downs of our relationship and are still intact. When I was into 3yrs of our relationship he was doing some odd job, at that time I told my mom about us and she said 'NO' because of caste issue irrespective of his job. Another reason is that my father is an impulsive person who thinks to harm himself whenever something happens, so mom said my father might harm himself if I go forward. At the same time there were some issues in boys family and my brother met them and he said no to it.But I couldn't get away from him, so I stayed. Later I talked to my partner about his family environment and I said that I couldn't stay with them because of the negative impact. He talked to his family and confirmed that after marriage we will lead our life under different roof but maintain the sufficient relationship with his family. We both are now settled in jobs but he earns a bit less than me but we earn a handsome salary combining our both salaries. Now, it's time for my marriage and I want to marry him and he have changed alot for me without leaving his family and he understands me very well. I feel safe with him. Now the problem is my parents wants to get me married and I also want to get married to the whom I loved but my mom and brother are not yet all giving me the chance to convince them. They are trying to convince me for marriage with others but I couldn't do that, that will kill me all my life. They are saying that if I go for intercaste then they have to suffer all their life and my father might do something to himself if he finds out. I love my family dearly and that's why I have been waiting all these years for their approval. I do not want anyone to lose their life because of me. My partner have left the decision to me because of my situation at home and he is supportive of me. My transfer is nearing where I have two options, one is to opt for my home town(not Village), where I can bring my parents to town with me to stay( now my posting is in another city). Second is to opt for different city( where I have to stay with my brother who doesn't approve of my love and blames me for his career). In order for me to convince them for my marriage should stay with my family or away from them and how can I convince them? Sorry' for the long story and I hope I hear from you.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Be clear about what you want and in this process/journey, there will be a lot of highs and lows...
Also, you may not be able to have the cake and eat it too which is why you are struggling at making a decision. You want to marry the man of your dreams that your parents and brother disapprove of BUT you don't want to disappoint them by going against them...You can't have one foot in two different paths...it will tear you apart; literally...
So, decide what you want, the pros and cons of going against the family...of course there are situations where over time, parents have accepted the boy/girl but there's a lot of patient waiting.
If you are in haste, they are not going to relent and you will be left feeling disappointed...
Decide and then do whatever it takes to make that decision right...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 20, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My age is 25 and I have completed my mbbs and started doing my job as a medical officer and my boyfriend is 27 and he is an civil engineer with mba.. I belong to ST caste and he is general.. Few years back my boyfriend had the same issue of convincing his parents.. His parents were nice to me but they too had the issue of what society will think but with passing years that has changed and now they are convinced... I had told my parents about him just recently when they were trying to find a groom for me who was also a engineer (my father's friend son)... My parents initially were happy to know that I have someone but the moment they knew he is of upper caste they are against me.. my mom even said that if he were a doctor of upper caste then also it would be fine... but now my mom has started blackmailing me that if you marry him we will abandon you and the society will look down on you and they will make me feel outcast and even threatened of killing and making a court case against my boyfriend.. My mother even said that you will be seen as a shame to our society... She even is saying that the boy wants to marry you for your money but the fact is his both the parents are in gov job and he too is in growth phase...He and I both know each other since the school days (10yr relationship till now) My father has stopped talking to me ... My mom has faced domestic violence still she is supporting marrying a unknown man even if he has some bad behaviour but he should be of our clan...now she even said some friends(boys )name from my medical College batch of my caste knowing they are my good friends to even marry them while she was against one of them after seeing one of them saying he is not good looking(before knowing I had a bf and suspected my friend to be my bf) ....She is even claiming that if in future if I marry their choice and something doesn't go right then also it's going to be my fault and she is saying if I marry in my clan and get divorced also I will find someone again of my clan... I even told her how can you say such things being a women but still she is like No... If you marry in our community you will stay happy... But in my own home both my father and mother can't tolerate each other for more than 2 days.. my father has job away from home... She isn't listening anything and ignoring all my points and calling me names and characterless... They are even saying they won't allow me inside the home if I marry him.... My whole life I have compromised myself even didn't allow me study at a good college during 12th because it was far from town and made me study at such a institute where most of the time teachers were changed.....even in such a situation I did my best to score good .... During the coaching time my mom even humiliated me for my looks and cursed me for being a girl... despite all these going I did my duties...But the moment I gained success she takes all the credit... But now that I have told them she is starting to treat me like an asset... She is forcing me to leave him by not telling him now and to ditch him... And also telling that you don't know but you won't be happy in their house... What did you see in himm? And telling me duffer But his family has helped me a lot in my job and never ill behaved with me or said bad about me even when they weren't convinced.. I don't know what to do now.. I had so much already going on since childhood... My bf is supportive be it my studies or job he always helps me out even if he isn't near me .... I tell him everything about what my parents are telling about him still he calms me down.. I know he must me hurt listening to all these things but still he keeps a smile on his face saying keep trying and if u need me I too will help you in this situation.... I don't want to loose such a person...
Ans: At 25, as a doctor and a working professional, you are capable of making your own life decisions. That doesn’t mean it will be easy—you may face temporary estrangement from your parents, and their words may hurt—but living a life based on fear and control will hurt you far more in the long run. A marriage built on respect, equality, and understanding is more valuable than one arranged only to satisfy social expectations.
Practical next steps: give yourself time to stand firm emotionally. Have calm but clear conversations with your parents, reminding them that you’re grateful for their care but your choice of life partner is yours to make. Don’t engage in shouting matches—draw boundaries when they cross into threats. At the same time, keep strengthening your bond with your partner, since his consistency is your biggest support system. If things escalate, be prepared to lean on legal protections for your safety and your right to marry.
You are not “characterless” or “a shame.” You are a strong, educated woman who has fought against odds to become a doctor, and you deserve the right to choose love freely. The real shame would be abandoning yourself to please a society that has never walked in your shoes.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
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Good Morning Sir, I am having a Mutual Fund portfolio of 3.7 Crores, Savings account balance in India of 10 lacs, and PPF/Sukanya Samriddhi/NPS of around 30 lacs. My savings account in UAE has about 30 lacs. I have lost my job and am currently trying to get one. We will be in the UAE till July so that my daughter can complete her school year. If I get a job by then, it will be great; but if not, will I be able to retire with these funds? Please assume that the UAE savings account will be depleted by July during relocation. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Your financial discipline over many years deserves appreciation.
You stayed invested with patience.
You built wealth across countries.
This foundation gives you real confidence now.

» Current Life Stage and Context
– You are facing temporary job loss.
– You are still financially independent.
– UAE stay continues till July.
– Relocation costs are already planned.
– This phase needs calm decisions.
– Fear is natural, but clarity matters.

» Family Responsibilities Snapshot
– You have a school-going daughter.
– Education continuity is a priority.
– Stability for the child matters emotionally.
– Your planning already reflects responsibility.
– This strengthens your overall position.

» Asset Position Review
– Mutual fund portfolio is Rs.3.7 Crores.
– Indian savings account holds Rs.10 lacs.
– Long-term savings total about Rs.30 lacs.
– UAE savings will reduce to zero.
– Home ownership lowers future expenses.
– Net worth remains strong even after relocation.

» Liquidity and Cash Comfort
– Indian savings give immediate support.
– Mutual funds provide large liquidity.
– Withdrawals can be staggered wisely.
– Forced selling is avoidable.
– This protects capital during volatility.

» Job Loss Impact Assessment
– Income disruption affects confidence.
– It does not erase financial strength.
– You have time to decide.
– Rushed retirement decisions harm outcomes.
– Temporary gaps need flexible planning.

» Can You Retire If Job Does Not Come
– Retirement is possible with discipline.
– It requires expense control.
– It needs structured withdrawals.
– Lifestyle choices become important.
– Emotional readiness is equally critical.

» Early Retirement Reality Check
– Retirement at mid-forties is early.
– Corpus must last many decades.
– Inflation will work continuously.
– Growth assets cannot be abandoned.
– Balance is more important than returns.

» Role of Mutual Funds Going Forward
– Mutual funds remain core growth assets.
– Equity exposure should stay meaningful.
– Allocation should become more balanced.
– Risk control becomes more important now.
– Portfolio reviews must be regular.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Suit You
– Active funds respond to market stress.
– Fund managers adjust sector exposure.
– Valuation discipline is applied.
– Index funds fall fully with markets.
– Passive exposure increases drawdown risk.
– Active management supports smoother retirement.

» Managing Equity Volatility During Retirement
– Sudden market falls can hurt withdrawals.
– Selling equity during crashes damages corpus.
– Withdrawal planning must protect equity.
– Buffer assets reduce stress.
– This approach improves sustainability.

» Importance of Stable Assets
– Stable assets support monthly expenses.
– They reduce emotional reactions.
– They protect during market corrections.
– They fund short-term needs.
– This gives peace of mind.

» Role of Government-Backed Savings
– PPF and similar provide safety.
– Returns are predictable.
– Liquidity rules must be respected.
– These should not fund early expenses.
– They act as long-term protection.

» Expense Planning After Returning to India
– Living in owned home lowers costs.
– India expenses are lower than UAE.
– Lifestyle inflation must be avoided.
– Spending discipline extends corpus life.
– Regular tracking becomes essential.

» Education Planning for Your Daughter
– Education costs will rise steadily.
– This goal cannot face market risk alone.
– Dedicated allocation is required.
– Avoid mixing education money with retirement.
– Separate mental buckets improve clarity.

» Tax Considerations During Withdrawals
– Equity mutual fund withdrawals attract capital gains tax.
– Long-term gains above Rs.1.25 lakh are taxed.
– Short-term gains attract higher tax.
– Withdrawal sequencing reduces tax burden.
– Proper planning avoids unnecessary taxes.

» Health and Protection Planning
– Health insurance must be adequate.
– Employer cover may stop.
– Medical inflation is severe.
– Health costs can derail plans.
– Protection safeguards your corpus.

» Psychological Readiness for Retirement
– Retirement is not only financial.
– Loss of routine can disturb balance.
– Purpose keeps mind active.
– Part-time work can help.
– Engagement supports mental health.

» Semi-Retirement as a Practical Option
– Consulting reduces withdrawal pressure.
– Flexible work gives confidence.
– Income extends corpus life.
– Market volatility becomes easier to handle.
– This option offers balance.

» Time Advantage You Still Have
– You still have working years.
– One job changes everything positively.
– Corpus continues to compound.
– Do not rush permanent decisions.
– Allow time for clarity.

» Mistakes to Avoid Now
– Avoid panic selling.
– Avoid drastic asset changes.
– Avoid chasing guaranteed returns.
– Avoid emotional decisions.
– Stability protects wealth.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– Helps structure withdrawals.
– Aligns assets with goals.
– Manages risk during uncertainty.
– Protects child education goals.
– Provides clarity and confidence.

» Final Insights
– Your financial base is strong.
– Retirement is possible with discipline.
– Job income adds comfort, not necessity.
– Balanced asset allocation is essential.
– Active fund management suits this stage.
– Emotional calm will protect decisions.
– Structured planning ensures long-term peace.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
Money
Good Morning Sir, I am having a Mutual Fund portfolio of 3.7 Crores, Savings account balance in India of 10 lacs, and PPF/Sukanya Samriddhi/NPS of around 30 lacs. My savings account in UAE has about 30 lacs. I have lost my job and am currently trying to get one. We will be in the UAE till July so that my daughter can complete her school year. If I get a job by then, it will be great; but if not, will I be able to retire with these funds? Please assume that the UAE savings account will be depleted by July during relocation. I have my own apartment in Delhi and present age is 46 with daughter age is 13 Kindly suggest.
Ans: Your discipline over years deserves appreciation.
You built wealth across phases.
You avoided lifestyle inflation.
You planned even while abroad.
This gives you strength now.
Job loss does not erase past discipline.

» Current Life Situation Assessment
– You are 46 years old.
– Your daughter is 13 years old.
– You are temporarily without income.
– UAE stay continues till July.
– Relocation costs are already considered.
– Emotional stress is natural now.

» Asset Snapshot and Financial Base
– Mutual fund portfolio is Rs.3.7 Crores.
– Indian savings account holds Rs.10 lacs.
– Long-term government-backed savings are Rs.30 lacs.
– UAE savings of Rs.30 lacs will deplete.
– You own a Delhi apartment.
– No mention of liabilities exists.

» Net Worth Strength Perspective
– Financial assets remain very strong.
– Market-linked assets dominate wealth.
– Liquidity exists even after relocation.
– Home ownership reduces living pressure.
– This is a solid base.
– Many retirees have far less.

» Employment Gap Impact Review
– Job loss impacts cash flow.
– It does not destroy wealth.
– Time gap creates anxiety.
– Planning reduces fear.
– Your corpus buys time.
– Decisions must remain calm.

» Key Question You Are Asking
– Can I retire if job fails.
– Can corpus last lifelong.
– Can child education be protected.
– Can lifestyle be sustained.
– Can risk be managed.
– These are valid concerns.

» Retirement Age and Horizon View
– Retirement at 46 is early.
– Life expectancy is long.
– Corpus must last decades.
– Inflation will work continuously.
– Growth assets remain essential.
– Protection planning becomes critical.

» Expense Reality After India Return
– Living in owned home helps.
– Rent expense becomes zero.
– India costs are lower than UAE.
– School expenses will continue.
– Lifestyle moderation may be required.
– Flexibility improves sustainability.

» Child Education Responsibility
– Daughter is 13 now.
– Higher education remains ahead.
– Education costs will rise.
– This cannot be compromised.
– Planning must ring-fence this goal.
– Separate allocation is necessary.

» Current Liquidity Comfort
– Indian savings give short-term support.
– Mutual funds give long-term strength.
– PPF and similar give safety.
– Liquidity is adequate now.
– Emergency comfort exists.
– Panic actions are avoidable.

» Can You Retire Immediately
– Technically possible with discipline.
– Practically requires lifestyle alignment.
– Emotionally may feel uncomfortable.
– Job income adds safety.
– Partial work may help.
– Full stop is not mandatory.

» Semi-Retirement as a Middle Path
– Consulting work can reduce pressure.
– Part-time roles give confidence.
– Income reduces withdrawal stress.
– Corpus continues compounding.
– Psychological comfort improves.
– This is often ideal.

» Withdrawal Risk Awareness
– Early retirement faces sequence risk.
– Market downturns can hurt withdrawals.
– Timing matters greatly.
– Structured withdrawal planning is critical.
– Random redemptions harm corpus.
– Discipline protects longevity.

» Mutual Fund Portfolio Role
– Mutual funds remain growth engine.
– They must be managed actively.
– Asset allocation matters more now.
– Aggression should slowly reduce.
– Quality focus becomes key.
– Overlapping exposure must be reviewed.

» Why Active Management Matters Now
– Active funds adjust during downturns.
– Valuations are monitored.
– Risk is controlled dynamically.
– Index exposure falls fully.
– Drawdowns can be harsh.
– Active oversight suits retirees better.

» Debt Allocation Importance
– Debt provides stability.
– Debt funds withdrawals calmly.
– Debt avoids forced equity selling.
– It smoothens cash flow.
– Peace of mind improves.
– Balance is essential now.

» Role of Government-Backed Savings
– PPF and similar give safety.
– They provide predictability.
– Liquidity rules must be respected.
– They support capital protection.
– Keep them untouched longer.
– They act as anchor.

» Managing Market Volatility Emotionally
– Job loss increases fear.
– Markets amplify emotions.
– Avoid reacting to headlines.
– Follow pre-set plan.
– Review annually only.
– Emotional discipline is wealth.

» Tax Awareness During Withdrawals
– Equity withdrawals attract capital gains tax.
– Long-term gains above Rs.1.25 lakh are taxed.
– Short-term gains attract higher tax.
– Withdrawal sequencing matters.
– Tax efficiency improves longevity.
– Planning avoids surprises.

» What You Should Avoid Now
– Avoid panic selling.
– Avoid liquidating entire equity.
– Avoid chasing guaranteed returns.
– Avoid lending informally.
– Avoid untested products.
– Simplicity protects capital.

» Health and Insurance Angle
– Health cover must be strong.
– Job-linked cover may end.
– Family protection is critical.
– Medical inflation is high.
– Review coverage immediately.
– This safeguards corpus.

» Lifestyle Adjustment Reality
– Retirement needs conscious spending.
– Wants must be filtered.
– Needs must be secured.
– Child education stays priority.
– Travel plans may adjust.
– Control gives confidence.

» Psychological Side of Early Retirement
– Identity loss may occur.
– Work gives structure.
– Social engagement matters.
– Purpose prevents anxiety.
– Financial independence is not idleness.
– Mental planning is vital.

» Time as Your Biggest Asset
– You still have years.
– Corpus can still grow.
– One good job changes picture.
– Do not rush decisions.
– Allow six to twelve months.
– Calm thinking improves outcomes.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– Helps structure withdrawals.
– Aligns assets with life stages.
– Prevents emotional mistakes.
– Reviews asset allocation.
– Protects child goals.
– Adds clarity in uncertainty.

» Final Insights
– Your financial base is strong.
– Immediate retirement is possible with discipline.
– Job income adds safety and comfort.
– Semi-retirement is a balanced option.
– Child education must be ring-fenced.
– Active fund management suits your stage.
– Liquidity and debt bring stability.
– Patience and structure will protect your future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
45 years of age, self employed. I am selling my flat and after paying all taxes/capital gains should have roughly about 70 lakhs to invest. I already have 65 lakhs in MF, 95 lakhs portfolio in equity and also have couple more real estate properties where i fetch about 1 lakh.per month rental income. My monthly earning currently is irratic and annually around 10-12lakhs. No EMI , LOANS ETC. outgoing are SIP OF 60000, anything surplus I invest in equity. Child is 8 years and his education, future education, current fees all are made up for as mentioned and my wife together do SIP OF 110000 towards the same. My question is my wife and my investments are all exposed to MF AND equity. NO FD, NO OTHER diversified investments. So this income from sale of flat, do we invest in markets again or any other options are available. We have no liabilities , hence can take medium to agressive risks .
Ans: Your discipline and clarity deserve appreciation.
You have built assets patiently.
You avoided unnecessary debt wisely.
Your questions show maturity and foresight.
This is a strong financial position already.
Now refinement matters more than expansion.

» Your Current Financial Strength
– You are 45 years old.
– You are self-employed with flexibility.
– Annual income is irregular but healthy.
– No loans or EMIs exist.
– Rental income provides stability.
– This is a strong base.

» Asset Overview and Balance
– Mutual fund exposure is significant.
– Direct equity exposure is also large.
– Real estate exposure already exists.
– Child education planning is well handled.
– SIP discipline is excellent.
– Overall net worth is strong.

» Liquidity and Cash Flow Position
– Rental income gives steady monthly cash.
– Business income is uneven.
– SIP commitments are comfortably met.
– Surplus is invested regularly.
– Liquidity buffer needs assessment.
– Emergency comfort matters for self-employed.

» Risk Capacity Versus Risk Comfort
– Risk capacity is clearly high.
– Risk comfort also seems high.
– However concentration risk exists.
– Markets dominate portfolio exposure.
– Volatility impact must be evaluated.
– Diversification is the real concern.

» Understanding Concentration Risk
– Equity and mutual funds move together.
– Market downturns affect both sharply.
– Psychological stress can increase.
– Liquidity may dry temporarily.
– Long-term returns remain good.
– But timing risk exists.

» Your Core Question Clarified
– You are not asking about returns.
– You are asking about balance.
– You want intelligent diversification.
– You want risk-managed growth.
– You want capital protection layers.
– This is correct thinking.

» Should the Rs.70 Lakhs Enter Markets Fully
– Putting all again into markets increases concentration.
– It magnifies timing risk.
– Even strong investors need balance.
– Markets may not always cooperate.
– Partial allocation is sensible.
– Phased deployment is wiser.

» Importance of Staggered Investment
– Lump sum market entry carries timing risk.
– Volatility can impact short-term value.
– Phased investing smoothens entry.
– Emotion management improves.
– Decision quality stays high.
– Discipline matters even for experienced investors.

» Role of Debt-Oriented Instruments
– Debt provides stability to portfolio.
– Debt reduces overall volatility.
– Debt supports rebalancing later.
– Debt gives liquidity comfort.
– Returns are predictable.
– Peace of mind improves decision making.

» Why Some Debt Exposure Is Necessary
– You are self-employed.
– Income is irregular.
– Markets can fall anytime.
– Debt cushions lifestyle needs.
– Avoid forced equity selling.
– This protects long-term wealth.

» Debt Mutual Funds Perspective
– Debt funds offer flexibility.
– They are more tax-efficient than fixed deposits.
– Liquidity is better.
– Suitable for medium-term goals.
– Risk varies by fund quality.
– Selection must be conservative.

» Avoiding Fixed Deposits Blindly
– Fixed deposits lock money.
– Tax efficiency is poor.
– Returns barely beat inflation.
– Liquidity may have penalties.
– Better alternatives exist.
– Structure matters more than familiarity.

» Hybrid and Balanced Allocation Thought
– Hybrid funds mix growth and stability.
– Volatility remains controlled.
– Suitable for capital protection.
– Good parking for part capital.
– Helps rebalancing automatically.
– Useful during uncertain markets.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Suit You
– Active managers adjust with cycles.
– Valuations matter to them.
– Sector rotation is managed.
– Downside protection improves.
– Concentration risk reduces.
– Passive exposure lacks this flexibility.

» Disadvantages of Index Exposure
– Index follows markets blindly.
– No valuation control exists.
– Drawdowns are full impact.
– Recovery takes patience.
– Emotional stress increases.
– Active management adds value here.

» Existing Equity Portfolio Review Thought
– Equity exposure is already high.
– Additional equity should be selective.
– Avoid duplication across holdings.
– Style diversification matters.
– Avoid over-aggression now.
– Capital preservation gains importance.

» Asset Allocation Direction Suggested
– Equity should still remain majority.
– Debt should act as stabiliser.
– Allocation must be intentional.
– Not reactive to market moods.
– Review annually.
– Adjust gradually with age.

» Emergency and Opportunity Fund
– Self-employed professionals need buffers.
– At least one year expenses covered.
– This avoids panic during downturns.
– Opportunity buying also becomes possible.
– Confidence improves decision making.
– Liquidity brings power.

» Role of Alternative Strategies
– Avoid unregulated products.
– Avoid opaque structures.
– Simplicity works best.
– Transparency builds trust.
– Liquidity should not be compromised.
– Focus on controllable risks.

» Tax Efficiency Awareness
– Capital gains planning matters.
– Phased investing helps tax management.
– Debt funds taxed per slab.
– Equity taxed on withdrawal.
– Withdrawal planning matters later.
– Structure supports efficiency.

» Retirement Planning Angle
– Retirement is still distant.
– But preparation must start.
– Equity will power long-term growth.
– Debt will stabilise income later.
– Balanced build-up helps future SWP.
– This foresight is valuable.

» Child Goal Already Secured
– Education planning is strong.
– SIP discipline is excellent.
– No need to disturb this.
– Avoid overlapping investments.
– Keep child goal separate.
– This reduces confusion later.

» Behavioural Discipline Strength
– You already invest consistently.
– You avoid panic actions.
– You reinvest surplus logically.
– This is rare.
– Maintain this strength.
– Do not complicate unnecessarily.

» What Not to Do With Rs.70 Lakhs
– Do not rush entire amount.
– Do not chase trending assets.
– Do not over-diversify blindly.
– Do not keep idle long-term.
– Do not ignore risk layering.
– Avoid emotional decisions.

» Suggested Deployment Philosophy
– Divide money by purpose.
– Some for stability.
– Some for growth.
– Some for liquidity.
– Invest gradually.
– Review annually.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– Helps structure allocation.
– Prevents overexposure mistakes.
– Aligns with life goals.
– Manages behavioural risks.
– Reviews objectively.
– Adds long-term value.

» Final Insights
– Your financial base is strong.
– Concentration risk is the key concern.
– Full market reinvestment needs caution.
– Partial debt allocation improves balance.
– Phased investing reduces timing risk.
– Active management suits your profile.
– Liquidity buffer is essential.
– Structured diversification will protect and grow wealth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
I am 54 years old, my monthly salary is 40 K, my liability 6 lakhs loan liability and personal from 2 lakhs in ICICI bank, and 5000 two wheeler loan from hdfc and another loan of Rs, 35000 from LIC Policy pledged. I invested Rs. 58000 in stocks and Rs. 15000 in mutual funds and I have owned a residential house in kochi, Kerala No Other Savings. Pls. advise to how can I some savings at the age of 60
Ans: You have shown courage by asking this question honestly.
Many people avoid facing numbers at this age.
You are taking responsibility now.
That itself is a strong positive step.
There is still time to improve outcomes.
With discipline, progress is possible.

» Current Age and Time Availability
– You are 54 years old now.
– Retirement planning window is around six years.
– Time is limited but not over.
– Focus must shift to stability and control.
– Aggressive risks should reduce gradually.
– Consistency matters more than return chasing.

» Income Position Assessment
– Monthly salary is Rs.40,000.
– Income appears fixed and predictable.
– Salary growth may be limited now.
– Planning should assume stable income only.
– Avoid depending on uncertain future hikes.
– Savings must come from discipline.

» Expense Awareness and Reality
– Expenses were not detailed fully.
– Loans indicate cash flow pressure.
– Lifestyle spending must be reviewed honestly.
– Small savings matter at this stage.
– Leakages need strict control.
– Tracking expenses becomes critical now.

» Loan and Liability Overview
– Total loan burden is significant.
– Personal loan of Rs.6 lakh exists.
– Additional Rs.2 lakh personal loan exists.
– Two-wheeler loan EMI of Rs.5,000 runs.
– LIC policy loan of Rs.35,000 exists.
– Multiple loans increase stress.

» Interest Cost Impact
– Personal loans carry high interest.
– Two-wheeler loan also costs more.
– LIC policy loan reduces policy benefits.
– High interest erodes future savings.
– Loan control must be first priority.
– Returns cannot beat high interest easily.

» Asset Position Overview
– Residential house in Kochi is owned.
– House gives living security.
– No rental income assumed currently.
– House should not be sold for retirement.
– Emotional and practical value is high.
– Treat it as safety asset.

» Investment Snapshot
– Equity stock investment is Rs.58,000.
– Mutual fund investment is Rs.15,000.
– Total financial investments are very low.
– This limits compounding benefits.
– However, starting now still helps.
– Even small steps matter.

» Liquidity and Emergency Status
– No clear emergency fund exists.
– Loans indicate past emergencies.
– Lack of emergency fund causes borrowing.
– This cycle must stop.
– Emergency fund is foundation.
– Without it, savings break repeatedly.

» Priority Reset Required
– Retirement savings come after stability.
– First priority is cash flow control.
– Second priority is loan reduction.
– Third priority is emergency fund.
– Fourth priority is retirement investing.
– Order matters greatly now.

» Debt Reduction Strategy Importance
– Reducing loans gives guaranteed returns.
– Emotional relief also improves discipline.
– Fewer EMIs free monthly cash.
– Cash can redirect to savings.
– Retirement planning needs free cash flow.
– Debt blocks future progress.

» Which Loan to Target First
– Focus on highest interest loan first.
– Personal loans usually cost the most.
– Two-wheeler loan can follow.
– LIC policy loan should close early.
– Policy value should recover.
– Avoid new borrowing strictly.

» LIC Policy Review
– LIC policy is pledged currently.
– This reduces maturity value.
– Many LIC policies give low returns.
– Insurance and investment are mixed here.
– Such policies hurt retirement efficiency.
– Review purpose of this policy carefully.

» Action on LIC Policy
– If LIC is investment-oriented, reconsider.
– Surrender may free funds.
– Loan can be cleared using surrender value.
– Remaining amount can rebuild savings.
– Policy continuation must justify benefits.
– Emotional attachment should be avoided.

» Emergency Fund Creation
– Emergency fund should cover basic expenses.
– Target at least six months needs.
– Start with small monthly amount.
– Keep it separate from investments.
– This prevents future borrowing.
– Stability improves mental peace.

» Retirement Goal Reality Check
– Retirement age is close.
– Corpus building time is short.
– Expectations must stay realistic.
– Focus on supplementary income creation.
– Avoid risky return promises.
– Capital protection becomes important.

» Role of Equity at This Stage
– Equity still has a role.
– But exposure must be limited.
– Volatility can hurt near retirement.
– Balanced approach is needed.
– Equity for growth.
– Debt for stability.

» Mutual Fund Strategy Thought Process
– Mutual funds offer flexibility.
– SIP helps discipline monthly savings.
– Actively managed funds suit this phase.
– Fund managers adjust risk dynamically.
– This protects downside better.
– Index funds lack such control.

» Why Index Funds Are Risky Now
– Index funds fall fully with markets.
– No protection during market crashes.
– Near retirement, recovery time is less.
– Emotional panic risk increases.
– Active funds manage risk better.
– Stability matters more than matching index.

» Direct Funds Versus Regular Funds
– Direct funds need strong self-discipline.
– Wrong fund choice can hurt badly.
– No guidance during market stress.
– Regular funds offer support.
– Certified Financial Planner guidance helps.
– Behaviour management is crucial now.

» Monthly Savings Possibility
– Even Rs.3,000 matters now.
– Start small but stay consistent.
– Increase amount after loan closure.
– Automate savings immediately after salary.
– Avoid waiting for surplus.
– Surplus never comes automatically.

» Expense Rationalisation Steps
– Review subscriptions and discretionary spends.
– Reduce non-essential expenses.
– Delay lifestyle upgrades.
– Focus on needs over wants.
– Every saved rupee counts.
– Discipline builds confidence.

» Asset Allocation Approach
– Majority should be stable assets.
– Smaller portion in growth assets.
– Avoid concentration risk.
– Do not chase trending stocks.
– Consistency beats speculation.
– Preservation becomes key now.

» Stock Investment Review
– Existing stocks need careful review.
– Avoid frequent trading.
– High risk stocks should reduce gradually.
– Capital protection matters now.
– Reinvest proceeds wisely.
– Emotional decisions must stop.

» Retirement Income Planning Thought
– Retirement income must be predictable.
– Monthly cash flow is required.
– Capital should last longer.
– Avoid lump sum withdrawals.
– Planning must support longevity.
– Health costs may rise later.

» Health Insurance Importance
– Medical expenses rise with age.
– Adequate health insurance is essential.
– This protects retirement savings.
– Avoid policy gaps.
– Review coverage annually.
– Health shocks destroy savings fast.

» Tax Efficiency Consideration
– Tax should be considered carefully.
– Mutual funds offer tax efficiency.
– Gains taxed only on withdrawal.
– Equity gains have specific rules.
– Debt gains taxed as per slab.
– Planning reduces unnecessary tax.

» Behavioural Discipline Required
– Market volatility will test patience.
– Avoid panic selling.
– Avoid greed-driven buying.
– Stick to chosen path.
– Annual review is sufficient.
– Emotional control is critical.

» Role of Side Income
– Explore small side income options.
– Skill-based work can help.
– Even small extra income helps.
– Direct it fully into savings.
– Do not increase lifestyle.
– Purpose is retirement security.

» Family Communication
– Family should know limitations.
– Set realistic expectations together.
– Avoid financial surprises later.
– Transparency reduces stress.
– Shared responsibility helps discipline.
– Support improves success chances.

» Common Mistakes to Avoid
– Chasing high return promises.
– Ignoring debt problem.
– Using retirement money for emergencies.
– Frequent portfolio changes.
– Delaying action further.
– Comparing with others.

» Psychological Aspect
– Guilt about late start is normal.
– Do not dwell on past.
– Focus on controllable actions now.
– Small wins build confidence.
– Progress matters more than perfection.
– Hope must stay alive.

» What Success Looks Like Now
– Reduced debt burden.
– Emergency fund in place.
– Regular monthly savings habit.
– Controlled risk exposure.
– Predictable retirement income support.
– Peace of mind.

» Final Insights
– You are late but not helpless.
– Debt reduction is first priority.
– Emergency fund is essential.
– LIC policy needs careful review.
– Mutual funds can support retirement.
– Active management suits your stage.
– Discipline matters more than amount.
– With steady effort, improvement is possible.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
can anyone suggest some good mutual funds to invest ?
Ans: It is good you are asking this question.
Many people invest blindly without understanding.
Your intent shows responsibility and awareness.
This is the right starting point.
Mutual funds work best with clarity.
I appreciate your willingness to learn.

» Understanding the Real Question
– You are not asking for returns alone.
– You are asking for safety and growth.
– You want confidence in decisions.
– You want fewer mistakes.
– This mindset is very important.
– Mutual funds need goal-based thinking.

» Why “Good Mutual Funds” Is a Relative Term
– There is no single best fund.
– Suitability matters more than popularity.
– Age changes risk tolerance.
– Income stability matters.
– Time horizon matters greatly.
– Emotional comfort also matters.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– A Certified Financial Planner matches funds to goals.
– Random suggestions often fail.
– Personal context decides suitability.
– Fund selection is not guessing.
– It is a structured process.
– Guidance prevents costly mistakes.

» First Step Before Choosing Any Fund
– Identify your goal clearly.
– Short term goals differ from long term.
– Retirement goals need stability.
– Wealth creation needs patience.
– Emergency money should stay separate.
– Mixing goals creates confusion.

» Importance of Time Horizon
– Less than three years needs safety.
– Three to seven years needs balance.
– More than seven years allows growth focus.
– Time absorbs market volatility.
– Longer time reduces risk.
– Short time increases uncertainty.

» Understanding Risk Properly
– Risk is not loss alone.
– Risk is emotional panic also.
– Wrong fund causes sleepless nights.
– Panic selling destroys wealth.
– Right fund keeps you calm.
– Calm investors earn better returns.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Matter
– Markets change constantly.
– Companies rise and fall.
– Active managers track these changes.
– They reduce exposure during stress.
– They increase quality holdings.
– This flexibility protects capital.

» Disadvantages of Index Funds
– Index funds blindly follow markets.
– No downside protection exists.
– Full fall happens during crashes.
– Recovery takes time.
– Near goals, this hurts badly.
– Active funds manage risk better.

» Importance of Asset Allocation
– Do not put everything in equity.
– Debt provides stability.
– Equity provides growth.
– Balance reduces volatility.
– Allocation should change with age.
– This improves long-term success.

» Equity Mutual Fund Categories Explained
– Large-focused funds invest in stable companies.
– Mid-focused funds aim higher growth.
– Smaller companies bring higher volatility.
– Flexi-style funds adjust across sizes.
– Balanced style funds mix debt and equity.
– Each serves a different purpose.

» When to Use Large-Focused Equity Funds
– Suitable for conservative investors.
– Suitable for beginners.
– Suitable near retirement.
– Volatility remains lower.
– Growth is steady.
– Confidence remains higher.

» When to Use Mid-Focused Equity Funds
– Suitable for longer horizons.
– Suitable for moderate risk takers.
– Returns can be higher.
– Falls can be sharp sometimes.
– Requires patience.
– SIP helps manage volatility.

» When to Use Smaller Company Focused Funds
– Only for long horizons.
– Only for high risk tolerance.
– Not suitable near goals.
– Volatility is very high.
– Returns fluctuate widely.
– Allocation should be limited.

» Role of Flexi-Style Equity Funds
– Managers move across market sizes.
– They respond to valuations.
– They reduce concentration risk.
– Suitable for uncertain markets.
– Good core holding.
– Useful across life stages.

» Balanced Style Funds Explained
– Mix of equity and debt exists.
– Volatility is lower.
– Returns are smoother.
– Suitable for conservative investors.
– Suitable near retirement.
– Provides income stability.

» Debt Mutual Fund Understanding
– Debt funds invest in fixed income instruments.
– Returns are more stable.
– Risk depends on credit quality.
– Short duration suits safety needs.
– Long duration suits interest rate cycles.
– Selection must be careful.

» Why Debt Funds Matter
– They reduce overall portfolio risk.
– They provide predictable returns.
– They help during market crashes.
– They support regular withdrawals.
– They improve sleep quality.
– They bring balance.

» Tax Aspect Awareness
– Equity gains have holding period rules.
– Long term equity gains have lower tax.
– Short term gains attract higher tax.
– Debt gains taxed as per slab.
– Holding period planning reduces tax.
– Withdrawal planning matters.

» SIP Versus Lump Sum
– SIP builds discipline.
– SIP reduces timing risk.
– Lump sum suits surplus money.
– Market timing is difficult.
– SIP suits salaried investors.
– Consistency matters more than timing.

» Why Regular Funds Are Better for Most
– Regular funds provide guidance.
– Behaviour management is included.
– Review support is available.
– Panic decisions are reduced.
– CFP guidance adds value.
– Cost difference is justified often.

» Disadvantages of Direct Funds
– No handholding during volatility.
– Wrong allocation mistakes occur.
– Investors panic during falls.
– Discipline breaks easily.
– Mistakes cost more than savings.
– Support matters more than cost.

» Portfolio Construction Principles
– Limit number of funds.
– Avoid duplication.
– Diversify across styles.
– Align funds with goals.
– Review annually only.
– Avoid frequent changes.

» How Many Funds Are Enough
– Too many funds confuse tracking.
– Four to six funds are enough.
– Each fund must have a role.
– Overlapping funds reduce efficiency.
– Simplicity improves discipline.
– Control improves results.

» Common Mistakes Investors Make
– Chasing recent performance.
– Following social media tips.
– Switching frequently.
– Investing without goals.
– Ignoring asset allocation.
– Stopping SIP during downturns.

» Behaviour Is More Important Than Funds
– Good behaviour beats good products.
– Staying invested matters most.
– Panic destroys compounding.
– Patience builds wealth.
– Discipline creates results.
– Confidence grows over time.

» Role of Review and Rebalancing
– Portfolio needs periodic review.
– Life changes need adjustments.
– Risk increases with market rise.
– Rebalancing restores balance.
– Annual review is enough.
– Over-monitoring creates stress.

» Age-Based Allocation Thought
– Younger investors can take higher equity.
– Middle age needs balanced approach.
– Near retirement needs stability.
– Allocation must reduce risk gradually.
– This protects capital.
– Longevity risk increases later.

» Emotional Side of Investing
– Fear and greed influence decisions.
– Market news creates panic.
– Discipline reduces emotional damage.
– Guidance provides reassurance.
– Staying calm is crucial.
– Long-term view wins.

» Importance of Emergency Fund
– Emergency fund protects investments.
– It avoids forced selling.
– Keep it separate from mutual funds.
– Liquidity matters here.
– Peace of mind improves discipline.
– This is foundation step.

» Goal-Based Investing Is Key
– Each goal needs its own strategy.
– Education goals differ from retirement.
– Short goals need safety.
– Long goals allow growth.
– Mixing goals causes confusion.
– Structure brings clarity.

» Final Insights
– Good mutual funds depend on your goals.
– Actively managed funds suit most investors.
– Asset allocation matters more than fund names.
– Discipline beats market timing.
– Guidance reduces costly mistakes.
– Start with clarity and patience.
– Stay consistent and review annually.
– This approach builds long-term wealth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
Money
My friend age is 39 salary is 70000 loan 100000 with 1200 EMI had 5.5 lakh pf and yearly lic policies of 45000 had own house worth 40 lakhs and one land worth 15 lakhs nearly son age is 4 how to invest for education
Ans: Your friend has taken a responsible step by thinking early.
Planning for a child’s education shows care and foresight.
Starting now gives strong advantage.
Time is the biggest strength here.
This deserves appreciation and encouragement.

» Family and Life Stage Assessment
– Your friend is 39 years old.
– Child is only 4 years old.
– Education goal is 14 to 18 years away.
– This gives long investment runway.
– Long horizon allows growth focus.
– Early planning reduces pressure later.

» Income and Stability Review
– Monthly salary is Rs.70,000.
– Income seems stable currently.
– EMI burden is very low.
– Loan amount is manageable.
– Cash flow pressure appears limited.
– This supports long-term investing.

» Existing Asset Overview
– Provident fund value is Rs.5.5 lakh.
– Own house provides residential security.
– Land holding adds balance sheet strength.
– Physical assets already exist.
– Education funding should stay financial.
– Avoid mixing goals with properties.

» Current Liability Position
– Loan amount is only Rs.1 lakh.
– EMI is Rs.1,200 monthly.
– Debt stress is minimal.
– No urgent prepayment pressure exists.
– Liquidity remains comfortable.
– This supports regular investments.

» Child Education Cost Reality
– Education costs rise faster than inflation.
– Higher education costs are unpredictable.
– Foreign education increases costs sharply.
– Professional courses cost much more.
– Planning should assume higher expenses.
– Conservative assumptions protect future.

» Time Horizon Advantage
– Child has 14 plus years.
– Long horizon favours equity exposure.
– Short-term volatility becomes irrelevant.
– Compounding works best over time.
– Discipline matters more than timing.
– Starting early reduces monthly burden.

» Goal Segregation Importance
– Education goal must stay separate.
– Retirement goals should not mix.
– House and land should remain untouched.
– Education money needs liquidity later.
– Clear buckets avoid confusion.
– This brings clarity and focus.

» Provident Fund Role Clarification
– PF is meant for retirement.
– Avoid using PF for education.
– PF offers safety, not flexibility.
– Withdrawal later affects retirement comfort.
– Let PF compound peacefully.
– Education should have its own plan.

» LIC Policy Assessment
– LIC policies are long-term commitments.
– Many LIC policies give low returns.
– Education goal needs higher growth.
– Insurance and investment should not mix.
– Review policy purpose carefully.
– Education planning needs efficiency.

» Action on LIC Policies
– If LIC is investment oriented, review seriously.
– Such policies often underperform inflation.
– Education goal needs stronger growth engine.
– Consider surrender after policy review.
– Redirect money into mutual funds.
– This improves goal probability.

» Risk Capacity Versus Risk Appetite
– Income stability supports equity exposure.
– Child’s age supports growth focus.
– Emotional comfort still matters.
– Portfolio should avoid extreme swings.
– Balance reduces regret during downturns.
– Discipline ensures long-term success.

» Asset Allocation Thought Process
– Education goal allows higher equity allocation.
– Small debt portion adds stability.
– Allocation should change near goal.
– Gradual de-risking protects corpus.
– No sudden changes later.
– Planning must be dynamic.

» Why Mutual Funds Fit Education Goals
– Mutual funds offer growth potential.
– They allow disciplined monthly investing.
– SIP suits salary earners well.
– Flexibility exists for top-ups.
– Liquidity is available when needed.
– Transparency improves understanding.

» Importance of Active Management
– Active funds manage downside risks.
– Fund managers respond to market changes.
– Education corpus cannot afford blind tracking.
– Index investing lacks downside control.
– Active approach suits long-term goals.
– Flexibility is critical here.

» Why Index Funds Are Not Ideal
– Index funds follow markets mechanically.
– They fall fully during market crashes.
– No protection during extreme volatility.
– Education timeline cannot wait always.
– Active funds adjust allocations actively.
– This reduces emotional stress.

» Monthly Investment Discipline
– SIP builds habit and discipline.
– Small amounts grow meaningfully over time.
– Step-up SIP improves future corpus.
– Salary growth supports step-up.
– Consistency matters more than amount.
– Missed months reduce compounding.

» Emergency Fund Before Education Investing
– Emergency fund should exist first.
– At least six months expenses recommended.
– This avoids breaking education investments.
– Emergencies are unpredictable.
– Financial shocks derail long-term plans.
– Stability supports discipline.

» Insurance Protection Check
– Adequate term insurance is critical.
– Child’s education depends on income.
– Insurance protects goal continuity.
– Medical insurance protects savings.
– Without protection, plans collapse.
– Risk management comes first.

» Tax Efficiency Perspective
– Education investing should consider tax.
– Mutual funds offer tax-efficient growth.
– Tax applies only on realised gains.
– Equity gains have specific rules.
– Planning improves post-tax outcomes.
– Tax should not drive decisions alone.

» Behavioural Aspects of Education Planning
– Market corrections will happen.
– Panic reactions harm long-term goals.
– Education planning needs patience.
– Annual review is enough.
– Avoid daily portfolio tracking.
– Trust the process.

» Role of Land and House
– House provides living security.
– Land is illiquid for education needs.
– Avoid selling assets for education.
– Forced sales reduce value.
– Education funds must be liquid.
– Separate assets reduce stress.

» Periodic Review and Rebalancing
– Review education plan yearly.
– Increase investments with income growth.
– Reduce risk near goal.
– Shift gradually to safer assets.
– Avoid last-minute surprises.
– Discipline ensures success.

» Child Education Milestones Planning
– School education costs come first.
– Graduation costs come later.
– Post-graduation may need larger funds.
– Plan for multiple stages.
– Avoid lump-sum burden later.
– Stagger planning reduces stress.

» Emotional Satisfaction Aspect
– Education planning gives confidence.
– Parents sleep better with clarity.
– Child benefits from better choices.
– Financial clarity improves family harmony.
– Less stress improves health.
– Planning improves overall life quality.

» Role of Certified Financial Planner
– Personalised planning improves outcomes.
– Risk comfort differs per family.
– Cash flow analysis matters.
– Goal prioritisation avoids conflicts.
– Periodic guidance improves discipline.
– Holistic approach protects all goals.

» Common Mistakes to Avoid
– Starting too late.
– Relying only on LIC policies.
– Using PF for education.
– Chasing high returns blindly.
– Ignoring inflation impact.
– Avoiding reviews.

» Long-Term Discipline Reminder
– Education planning is a marathon.
– Short-term noise should be ignored.
– Time corrects many mistakes.
– Discipline beats intelligence here.
– Patience builds strong corpus.
– Calmness protects decisions.

» Final Insights
– Your friend has strong starting position.
– Early planning gives big advantage.
– Child’s age supports growth focus.
– Mutual funds suit education goals well.
– LIC policies need careful review.
– Insurance protection is essential.
– Discipline and reviews ensure success.
– With proper structure, education goals are achievable.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |425 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
i am a 65 year old person at present working in a company as advisor with Rs.2,00,000/-month remuneration.My son is studying 1st year B.Tech.My wife is a home maker.I am having 2 apartments on my name worth approx.2 crores.MY wife is a single child to my in laws and i stay in my mother in law's house as my wife has to take care of her. I am having a plot which costs about 75 lakhs rupees.I am having PPF amount Rs,25 lakhs in my account and still account is not closed.I may be having a cash of Rs.20 lakhs approx.in various forms.I am havinga stocks porfolio worth Rs30 lakhs.I am giving you my MF sips in various forms.The MFs amount is to the tune of Rs.80 lakhs. Fund Name Category SIP Amount % of Portfolio Motilal Oswal Large Cap Fund Large Cap ₹15,000 10.3% Nippon India Large Cap Fund Large Cap ₹13,000 8.9% Total Large Cap ₹28,000 19.2% HDFC Midcap Fund Mid Cap ₹7,500 5.1% Edelweiss Mid Cap Fund Mid Cap ₹31,000 21.2% Total Mid Cap ₹38,500 26.3% SBI Small Cap Fund Small Cap ₹3,500 2.4% Nippon India Small Cap Fund Small Cap ₹2,000 1.4% Total Small Cap ₹5,500 3.8% Parag Parikh Flexicap Fund Flexi Cap ₹38,500 26.3% HDFC Focused Fund Focused ₹7,000 4.8% Mirae Asset Large & Midcap Fund Large & Mid Cap ₹2,500 1.7% Total Diversified Equity ₹48,000 32.8% Canara Robeco Multi Asset Multi Asset ₹1,500 1.0% HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund BAF ₹10,000 6.8% Total Hybrid / Debt-Oriented ₹11,500 7.9% Tata Nifty Capital Markets Index Sectoral (Financial Services) ₹2,000 1.4% Nippon India Banking & Financial Services Sectoral (Financial Services) ₹1,500 1.0% Total Sectoral ₹3,500 2.4% Total SIP amount is approx.Rs.1.5 lakhs / month . I am having monthly sips for SBI small cap,nippon india small cap, dsp small cap rs.5000/-each in addition to above SIPs.My total MFs amount is approx.rs.75 lakhs. Though i am not sure how many months my assignment continue, immediately there is no threat.at present my health only is the criteria to continue and i may continue for maximum of one year.MY wife also may be having cash in various forms to the tune of Rs.50 lakhs. This is my financial status. Kindly guide me for a better and remunerative planning.Best Regards.
Ans: Hi Nadakuduru,

Your overall assets are good but need some proper realignment wrt you what all you mentioned. Let us have a detailed look:

- Considering that you will work for a year or so, you need to have proper alignment of your current assets in liquid form.
- Close your PPF account upon maturity and park it in debt MFs.
- Direct stock investment is way too risky. Shift that amount in equity mutual funds to fund you when you stop working.
- Make a FD of 20 lakhs cash that you have for your emergency requirement.
- Your current SIPs are highly overdiversified and overlapped. A portfolio like this never gives a good return. Hence work with a professional to get a good portfolio.
A DIY portfolio like yours can break your overall investments. Do not do any large investments like these without proper guidance.
- Hence stop current SIPS and take professional's help.

Do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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