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How to Make My Parents Understand My Boyfriend's Financial Situation?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1576 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 14, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Me and my boyfriend are dating form past seven years, he’s not from a well to do family and I am. How do I tell my parents that I want to marry him? He is working etc but he has a lot of liabilities so far to pay off and to take care of his family too. My family won’t understand this. How to I convince them

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Don't try and convince them but simply address their worries and concerns. Surely, they wish you well and want to see you comfortable. So, sit with them and address every worry and concern rather than force them into a decision.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1576 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi ma’am My family is not accepting my boyfriend as he is not well settled and doesn’t have any savings. His parent are also divorced and father has a second marriage. The first children custody is still with parents however my boyfriend and his brother live with his mother. He is 5 year younger than me. My family is not accepting my relationship and showing me new proposals every day. To borrow some time i am just refusing the proposal my giving some excuses but now they know that i am still not out from him and waiting for him to get settled. Kindly let me know how can i convince my family to accept my relationship. My boyfriend is working day and night to get settled and have a good account balance. Please advise.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If your daughter came to you with the same situation, how would you advise her?
Would you not tell her your concern that she is actually choosing someone who may not be able to support her when she goes on maternity leave? Would you not tell her that coming from a broken family, she may have to take care of her boyfriend and possibly parent him on different occasions? Your parents are only concerned for you and are unable to tell you what they are worried about. Put yourself in their situation and tell me that you will not be worried.

At the same time, I do get your frustration. What you can do is to work on your parents' concerns and buy time till your boyfriend manages to settle down. And it seems like he is doing all that he can to be in their good books. And that's the only way you can get them to accept him. Wait patiently and don't put him under pressure. Instead be supportive and at the same time, you continue to work and be independent as well.

Never try to convince someone who does not want to be convinced but instead work on how they can accept him by addressing their concerns.

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |557 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello sir, I have been in relationship for 4 years, once my cousin elder caught me with my bf and told my parent. I told my parents that I wanted to get marry with him. But they denied. Due to my brother listening. Now it's been 4 years from that period. My bf is asking me for marriage. I wanted to convience my parents. But I m not able to tell them. And my Bf is less educated and I am employed graduate person. He works as a driver,but loves me a core. What shall I do to convience my parent. As Im of 25 years old and he is one year elder then me
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that you are in a challenging situation. If you want to convince your parents, the first thing is to acknowledge their concerns. It is normal for parents to be worried about their child's future. You mentioned your partner is comparatively less educated than you and works as a driver; while every profession is equally important and as long as he is honest and hardworking and puts food on the table, he is doing well, parents can find the financial situation a little concerning. Instead of avoiding or being defensive about these concerns, address them. Let them know how you plan on tackling these differences in your relationship. Emphasize his character, personality, and all the qualities that drew you to him. Tell them how you have been in a stable relationship for 4 years, despite all the odds. In today's day and age, that is a huge thing. Convincing them would also require you to show that you are mature enough to make this decision so have the discussion once you and your partner have a solid plan and have the nitty-gritty all sorted.

Be practical and do not expect them to be onboard immediately. They have your best interest at heart and you know that your situation isn't ideal. Give them time to come around. It might take some compromises as well.

In the end, I would also urge you to think this through before introducing the relationship to your parents. Marriage is a big decision. Ultimately, it's your happiness and life at stake. Don't rush.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1147 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2025

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1147 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2025

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Money
Planning for retirement is crucial, yet many people delay making key financial decisions. With options such as workplace pensions, private pensions, and state pensions, how can individuals determine the best strategy to ensure a financially secure retirement while optimising tax benefits?
Ans: Hello;

Retirement is the one of the most important financial goal and the key is you won't get loan to meet that requirement.

Typically people neglect it in early part of their career and then get a rude shock when hardly 10-15 years are left for retirement and they can't meet target corpus amount despite heavy investments.

NPS is a great retirement product for every Indian.

In fact since it's costs are so low that you won't find people promoting it or advertising about it.

NPS is similar to workplace pension but is available for businessmen and self employed people too.

Except for a minimum 1000 per year in Tier 1 account there is no compulsion to invest and also their is no upper limit to investment. However you may automate your investment in NPS using D-remit feature.

Limited withdrawals are allowed subject to terms and limits.

You can change your fund manager if you are not satisfied with its performance and also you can have different fund managers for different asset classes.

EPS is a add-on to other sources of retirement income and can't be the the only source since the maximum pension amount is limited to Rs. 7500 per month.

Unit linked pension plans are like private pensions but are a poor and inefficient copy of NPS.

In India only Govt employees are eligible for state pension.

PPF/EPF are also avenues for building retirement corpus but interest on EPF contribution above Rs. 2.5 L in a financial year invokes tax and PPF has lower interest rate.

Best strategy to secure financially secure retirement is to begin with a small amount from your first salary and later stepping up with increased income.

Best wishes;

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8176 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 02, 2025Hindi
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Money
Despite earning a decent salary,I often find myself living from one payday to the next, struggling to save. I don't have significant debts, yet my expenses seem to absorb my entire income. What practical steps can I take to break this cycle and start building financial stability?
Ans: Many people face the challenge of earning a decent salary yet struggling to save. If your expenses absorb your entire income, it’s time to take control of your finances with a structured approach. Here’s how you can break the cycle and start building financial stability.

1. Track and Analyse Your Expenses
Identify spending leaks by tracking all expenses for a month.

Use spending tracker apps or a simple notebook to record daily expenses.

Categorise expenses into essentials (rent, food, utilities) and non-essentials (shopping, entertainment, eating out).

Spot unnecessary expenditures and set limits on avoidable expenses.

2. Set a Realistic Budget
Follow the 50-30-20 rule:

50% for needs (housing, bills, groceries).

30% for wants (shopping, entertainment, travel).

20% for savings and investments.

If savings seem difficult, reverse budgeting may work better. Allocate savings first, then spend what remains.

Automate bill payments to avoid late fees and unnecessary penalties.

3. Build an Emergency Fund
Set aside at least 6 months’ worth of expenses in a liquid fund.

Use a separate savings account for emergency funds to avoid spending it impulsively.

Automate transfers to this fund to ensure consistency.

4. Prioritise Saving Over Spending
Start small with savings if your expenses are tight. Even Rs 1,000 per month creates a saving habit.

Use automatic deductions to ensure savings before spending.

Increase savings percentage whenever you get a salary hike or bonus.

5. Cut Down on Unnecessary Expenses
Identify subscriptions you don’t use (streaming services, gym memberships).

Reduce frequent dining out and start cooking at home.

Choose budget-friendly alternatives for entertainment, shopping, and travel.

Negotiate for lower bills on rent, internet, and insurance.

6. Start Investing Wisely
Keep money working for you through investments rather than letting it sit idle.

Consider mutual funds through SIPs to build wealth over time.

Avoid investment-cum-insurance policies. Instead, opt for a separate term insurance and investments.

Invest in a mix of debt and equity based on your risk appetite.

7. Avoid Lifestyle Inflation
Salary hikes should increase savings, not expenses.

Maintain your current lifestyle and direct additional income towards savings.

Differentiate between needs and wants before making big purchases.

8. Plan for Future Goals
Define short-term and long-term goals (buying a home, early retirement, travel).

Assign a dedicated investment for each goal.

Adjust spending habits to align with your bigger financial vision.

9. Monitor and Adjust Regularly
Review your budget every 3-6 months to adjust based on changes in income or expenses.

Keep track of financial progress and celebrate small wins to stay motivated.

If needed, seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) like us for a customised financial strategy.

Final Thoughts
Breaking the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle requires discipline and consistency. By tracking expenses, budgeting wisely, saving first, and investing smartly, you can achieve financial stability and long-term wealth creation. Taking small but steady steps will lead to financial freedom in the long run.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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