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Intercaste Relationship: Should I Stay or Break Up?

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |144 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Aug 04, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Twinkle Question by Twinkle on Aug 04, 2024Hindi
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Hello mam, my boyfriend don't want to fight with his parents because his parents are against of intercaste religion. Marriage is still far like we have time now. He said let's stay together for now. Then we will separate in good way. I also think that he is right but on other side i also think that i have to face this again in future. What should i do? Should I continue my relationship with him for now or break up with him?

Ans: he is pretty clear that there is no long term with you - you need to decide what works for you. all the best.
Asked on - Aug 04, 2024 | Answered on Aug 04, 2024
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But I'm confused. I need suggestions what is right for me. Thats why I am here, what should I do. In these situations what is the most right and good thing to do which helps me
Ans: I will not be able to suggest till I know more. You may schedule a time to meet me as I do not have the context - you can find a link in the bio page of my brand on how you can meet me if interested.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1530 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 21, 2024Hindi
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I fight in my house with my parents and brothers for them to accept for my inter religion love marriage...they are not accepting for it,they are trying to do marriage with other person for me,with lots of fights and talking they finally cancelled the marriage option with other person and gave me a time of 2yrs,that they will not get you any type matches,they won't distrub...after 2yrs if iam ready then only they will search for it..they clearly mentioned that if it be 2yrs or 10yrs...we won't accept that guy whom you have been in relationship...if you want to stay as single forever...we will leave you,as single...but we won't accept him,or we won't let u to marry him that guy... because ,they were bothering about society and caste,that he belongs to other religion... what should I want to do,I can't leave him,and I can't live without him... should I take 2yrs time,may there mind will change? Or what else I should do
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, as a grown-up and I assume that you are of a legal age to get married, it's purely the decision of the two people in question. But. of course, being part of a family system, it becomes a need to actually have their support as well, right? Then, work for it...You can possibly use part of the two years to work with your parents into understanding why you like this person and why you will be happy with him. It's a process, but if you want the support of your parents, then make that attempt.
Keep some sort of a deadline to this process else you will start to get frustrated it does not move in the direction that you want.

Will they change their mind? You will never know...But after that deadline, decide for yourself what you wish to do BUT it will all come at some cost/sacrifice. Make that attempt...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2024Hindi
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I am a Hindu girl and in a relationship with a muslim guy. Our relationship was going great but suddenly my boyfriend's family is forcing him to marry in a arranged marriage. I have told him to tell about us to his family and he is trying to but hasn't said yet. But due to his family pressure and my constant saying of marriage he gets irritated a lot. Now I'm feeling a little change in his behaviour also like he just try to skip discussion about future and marriage, also when I call him he is not talking nicely with me. I'm getting very emotional and hurt due to his behaviour. Also he has said that he will try his best to convince his family but now I'm not sure if he will take my stand or not. What to do now?
Ans: He sounds like a coward who will do as his family says. And I don’t think he intends to stick with you if they say no. Heck, I don’t think he plans on saying anything at all! If he loved you enough and had the gumption, he’d have taken a stand by now. I say drop him and move on. See what happens when you leave him; if he really does love you and want to be with you, he’ll take action. But unfortunately, from everything you’ve said here it sounds more like he’ll be relieved and go on to marry under an arrangement. If he does…don’t ever entertain any calls from him ever again. I’ve often heard of fools like him — no guts to marry the girlfriend, miserable in the arranged marriage six months to a year in, then re-establish contact with former girlfriend and have an affair, but no guts to end the marriage. In this whole scenario, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out who will be at the losing end — you! DROP HIM!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |552 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

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hi sir im in a relationship with a guy who i met in hyd we have been together since one year he is a hindu nd im a christian we both love eachother and wanna marry but my parents r against it bcoz he comes from a hindu family and they r forcing me to get married to a christian guy i love him i never got love from my parents when he is giving me the love i want my parents have seperated me from him im not able to understand what to do plz help
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
It’s important to start by having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Try to understand their concerns and share your feelings with them. Express how much this relationship means to you, focusing on the love, respect, and support you and your partner share, rather than just the religious differences.

If this approach doesn’t work, consider involving a trusted family member, friend, or community leader who might help mediate the situation. Sometimes, having an external perspective can help bridge the gap between differing viewpoints. You should also reflect on the long-term implications of your decision. Think about whether you’re ready to face the potential challenges of a mixed-religion marriage, including societal pressures and family dynamics. Having in-depth discussions with your partner about these issues is crucial to ensure you’re both on the same page.

If your parents remain opposed, you may need to consider seeking counseling or therapy. A counselor can help you process your emotions and provide strategies for dealing with family conflicts. They can also offer guidance on how to communicate more effectively with your parents. Building a support system outside of your family, whether through friends, mentors, or support groups, can also be invaluable during this time. It’s important to have people who understand and support your decisions.

Ultimately, the decision about whether to continue with your relationship despite your parents' opposition is yours. You’ll need to weigh the emotional and practical consequences, including the possibility of estrangement or ongoing family conflict. It’s vital to prioritize your happiness and well-being. If you believe that your relationship brings you genuine love and fulfillment, standing by your choice is valid. However, be prepared for the challenges that may come and have a plan in place to manage them. This is a deeply personal decision, and whatever path you choose should align with what feels right for you and your future.

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1236 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Feb 22, 2025

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Hi My daughter get 72 percentile in jee mains 1 i dont know what happened to her otherwise she is a good student scored 94% in her 10th boards ..if i will look for some private engineering college in india pls suggest i will go with pune or will look for management quota seat for csc from banglore. Pls suggest preference order of btech college in banglore
Ans: Hello Vandana.
Requesting you not to panic at this early stage. Let her appear for JEE session 2 and the state-level engineering entrance test. Let all the results out. You have ample time to think about the available options for engineering admission. At this stage, no need to think about management quota unless and until you want a particular branch in a particular college. Depending on her score in upcoming exams, she may get admission to reputed engineering either in Pune or Bengaluru
Here are some colleges in Bengaluru: (1) R.V. College of Engineering (RVCE) (2) B.M.S. College of Engineering (BMSCE) (3) M.S. Ramaiah Institute of Technology (MSRIT) (4) PES University (5) Bangalore Institute of Technology (BIT) (6) Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering (DSCE) (7) Sir M. Visvesvaraya Institute of Technology (SMVIT) (8) BMS Institute of Technology and Management (BMSIT&M) (9) Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology (NMIT) (10) RNS Institute of Technology (RNSIT)
Suggestion - Don't panic. Keep cool yourself. Ask your daughter to focus more on JEE 2nd attempt and state-level engineering entrance test.

If you are satisfied with the reply, pl follow me or else ask again without hesitation.
Thanks
Radheshyam

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