Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 04, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 03, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hello Anu, I am from Lucknow, with a pregnant wife and a son. I moved out of Lucknow after 2006 and since then I have never lived with them. But since Covid, I suffered a few setbacks in career and had to move back to Lucknow to live with my parents. It was a move out of force. Now, I am kind of doing ok in my career but feel like stuck at home. I don't get respect from my parents, there's absolutely no communication. My father is borderline narcissist and alpha male - everything has to happen the way he wants. His behavior changes drastically if we do anything without asking him or his consent. My mother and wife are not in best terms though I cannot say they are enemies. My mother has a super soft spot for my sister who lives in another city, she seems the pain even for my lady cook but not for my pregnant wife. Some times I have seen things in front of my eyes and I didn't like how my wife was treated. I feel no one deserves this - I would not have tolerated it myself so I cannot expect her. Now the thing is I want to move out of my parents place but without hurting their feelings. They are attached to their grandson and I feel I will be called out as the bad guy here if I try to move out. I feel that some distance will actually mend things as things were not this bad when I was living in another city. I don't know how to put up this conversation since it will mostly be striked out in the first place, I am scared of their reaction as they don't really support me or my concerns most of the time. I feel stuck every day and want to live life on my own, want to do things on my own. Make mistakes, but my mistakes. Also if I start this conversation, there's a chance that my parents might feel that this is because of my wife! Though that's not the case, it's me. If you can provide me any inputs or help, that would be great.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Move out and be unapologetic about it.
Initially expect a lot of tantrums that will make you feel guilty as though you have abandoned your parents. But remember as you have said that some distance will mend the relationship even if it means people feel hurt in the short term. Long term you will succeed in putting a system in place where healthy boundaries are put.
Your growing family will have a good physical and emotional space to thrive.
Now will your parents blame this decision on your wife? Highly possible, but when you know the intent behind this decision is noble, ignore the taunts and kindly ask your wife to become resilient to all this.
Think of WHY you had to take this decision which will not just help your family but also your parents and the relationship between the two sides.
A bit of inconvenience for a better larger term picture.

All the best to you!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Dear Madam, Iam a 45 year old woman. Ever since I was a kid I had went through lot of bullying by my rekatives for the way I look but my parents never supported me in any way instead found fault in ne for complaining but would always support my younger brother. Somewhere down the line I thought this was all I deserved and let oeople walk all over me without standing up for myself. Now that Iam a mother myself of a 15 year old kid with dyskexia, i have sacrificed my career fir his sake and still get bullied by my relatives dir being a useless house wife. I have started drawing boundaries around me to protect my mental sanity and allow only few people in it which invludes a small group of friends and my son and husband. I avoid making new friends. I have also stopped attending any social events that involves my relatives. Meanwhile I have started deeply resenting my parents who want ne to take care of them but openly favour my brother who lives abroad. I have taken care of them everytime they require neducal treatments yet my father openly says that he plans to give all his property to my brother who is never coming back. Its not about the money here but the apathy they have towards me that kills me from inside. I have tried to talk to them multiple times but each time my mother creates a scene and puts the enture blame on me. For once in my life i want my parents to love me unconditionally the way I do with my son. Am i wrong to expect that? This is causung lot of health issues in me. Please advise.
Ans: First and foremost, it's crucial to recognize that your feelings are valid. It's natural to want love and support from your parents, especially after all you've done for them. It's not wrong to expect unconditional love from your family; however, sometimes, unfortunately, families can be complex and dysfunctional, and our expectations may not always be met.

Drawing boundaries and prioritizing your mental health and well-being is a positive step. It's essential to protect yourself from toxic relationships and environments, even if it means distancing yourself from certain family members. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and loved ones, like your son and husband, is vital for your emotional health.

Regarding your parents, it's clear that their behavior is hurtful and unjust. It's understandable that you would feel hurt and resentful toward them, given their favoritism towards your brother and lack of appreciation
for your sacrifices and care. However, it's also essential to recognize that you cannot control their actions or attitudes. You can only control how you respond to them.

While it's challenging, try to approach conversations with your parents from a place of empathy and understanding. Express your feelings calmly and assertively, focusing on how their actions make you feel rather than blaming them. It's possible that they may not even realize the extent of the hurt they're causing you. However, it's also essential to set realistic expectations. If your parents continue to be unsupportive or dismissive, it may be necessary to limit your interactions with them for the sake of your own well-being.

Remember to prioritize self-care and seek support from a therapist or counselor if you're struggling with your mental health. It's okay to seek professional help to navigate through these difficult emotions and experiences. You deserve love, respect, and validation, and it's essential to surround yourself with people who uplift and support you.

Lastly, continue to cherish the love and bond you have with your son and husband. They are your pillars of support, and together, you can navigate through these challenges. You're stronger than you realize, and you have the power to create a fulfilling and loving life for yourself, regardless of the negativity from others.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 27, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello I have a strained relationship with my parents. I am 44 years old woman and married late. And now have twins who are 7 years old. Before entering this marriage, I was working and paid 50% of the earnings to my parents. And tried managing with rest 50% by paying home loan, food and others. It was very difficult but at times, i couldnnot manage on my own as the finances were tight and couldnnot save anything. Later, I took a break from work due to my love marriage and had to settle in a rural place where job opportunities were unavailable. I started a school but things did not go well and had to shut down due to covid. My money which I received from PF, gratuity all had vanished due to the school and my husband business also got into troubles and has no support from families. We were almost on roads and did not have any help. It was difficult to manage with twins. Then, i started with 5 freelancer jobs and made one lakh a month which was needed to support my family. In the interim, i got a good job at Chennai and moved with my husband. He too got a job in a start up and moved with me. His being a work from home could manage my twins while they were at home. While we started earning, again my parents started asking for money and I stopped supporting them, as my sister had started giving them money every month while i got married. My sister is well settled and runs a company abroad. I had got into a job and just settling down and did not want to take pressure again. I have my children and need to save for our retirement too. So, i started saving penny by penny. And due to not supporting my parents they do not talk to me at all. I too stopped as I thought it's better to be far with peace of mind rather than have frequent heart aches. Husband side story is that..after business got lost due to covid, his mother filed case against us stating that my husband brought loss to the business and need to step away and filed an injunction case against us. So, we could neither go to our property or restart business. As such, the case is moving and no relationship with my inlaw. But I always feel when children have holidays ...and children have been unaware of the relationship of grandparents and they yearn to be with them. They are growing up without any love of grandparents and they seem to understand. At time, I feel to help my family but I am scared as they will start squeezing me totally and I will be left with no savings. At this age, I have started to save and need it for our future. Am I doing it right
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Oh, yes, you are thinking and doing the right thing.
You have done what needs to be done for parents when you could and if by not supporting them with money now has made them judge you and distance you, then well, what can you do?
Yes, it's unfortunate that your children don't have the opportunity to get the love and attention of their grandparents, but if you look at how immature they have been and dragging you and your husband down, it's better to keep the children away from all this drama until things settle.
Children don't need a lot of people, they just need people who love them. I am sure you and your husband are doing just that. Focus on yourselves and make it work as a family. You deserve to be at peace after all that you have gone through. SO, don't waver and keep doing what you have so far to maintain that peace of mind.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hello Sir. I am unwilling to disclose my name. I come from a nuclear family based in Kolkata. I am in a very painful situation and I need your suggestion earnestly. The problem arises with my father. He is 66 , retired and a stay at home dad. He has severe anger issues, is demanding and controlling and often tells certain things verbally that are very traumatic for me. My hands and legs tremble and my heart beats rapidly when ever we have an argument as I am a peace loving person. Of late I have realised that I prefer to maintain distance from him . In all honesty I respect him but my love for him has long gone. My mother is a very demure person and is a stay at home mom. In order to not make my father angry or agitated by any means and to maintain peace in the house, she prefers to do what he prefers. I love my mother dearly but my father calls us a bunch of liars and is agitated that I support my mother. Even though I earn, I am in no position to leave my family/ house and shift elsewhere because I respect my mother's will. But I am traumatized and severely in mental agony. I can neither show my anguish nor express my situation to anyone for fear of being misunderstood. I am often asked to remain silent and not talk back to my father but sometimes the words are unbearable. He financially supports our family and you wouldn't believe if I told you that he has a completely different side when he is not in one of his' moods '. But Sir, does being the head of the family means to step over others and do what you feel like, irrespective of what the other members in your family feel? Additionally talking or communication with him also fails because he threatens to leave the house or just pushes us away. Even when I am writing this tears are streaming down my face. I am slowly becoming a shell of myself and am scared. Am I being selfish? Am I missing out something? I am so so tired of adjusting and compromising. I believe I have never ever written such a heart felt message. Can you help me out? Can you tell me how things can be resolved? Regards MR.
Ans: Dear MR,

First, let me acknowledge your courage in expressing these deeply personal emotions. It is not easy to articulate such pain, and your message reflects a strong desire to find clarity and relief in a situation that feels overwhelming. Let me assure you, you are not alone, and there are steps we can take together to help you regain a sense of control and peace.

Understanding the Dynamics
Your father’s behavior, while difficult and hurtful, seems to stem from his own unresolved emotions or unmet needs. Retirement, aging, and a sense of losing relevance can sometimes manifest as controlling or angry behavior in individuals who were once accustomed to authority or a sense of purpose. However, this does not justify his actions. Emotional safety is as important in a home as financial support, and it appears this balance is missing.

Your mother, with her passive approach, may be coping in a way that avoids confrontation but also leaves you feeling unsupported and isolated. This dynamic creates a cycle where you’re left holding the weight of everyone's emotions, which is exhausting.

Addressing Your Internal Conflict
Let’s begin by addressing the questions you’ve asked yourself:

Are you being selfish? Absolutely not. Wanting to protect your mental well-being is not selfish—it’s necessary. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and neglecting your emotional health will only harm you in the long run.
Are you missing out on something? Perhaps the only thing you might be missing is recognizing that this is not your fault. It is easy to internalize blame in such situations, but this is not about you failing—it’s about a family dynamic that needs healing.
Steps Toward Resolution
While changing deeply ingrained patterns takes time, here are some immediate and long-term strategies to help you navigate this situation:

Self-Regulation First:

When arguments or confrontations arise, focus on calming your body first. Practice deep breathing or grounding techniques. For example, count your breaths slowly or focus on the sensation of your feet touching the ground. This will help you regain control over the trembling and rapid heartbeat.
Create a safe mental space for yourself. When you feel overwhelmed, imagine a place where you feel secure and loved. Retreat there mentally for a moment to regain your composure.
Establish Emotional Boundaries:

Decide what you will and won’t accept during conversations. For instance, if he raises his voice or says something hurtful, consider calmly saying, “I want to have this conversation, but not if we can’t speak respectfully.” If he continues, you can excuse yourself from the situation.
Have a Gentle Conversation:

Choose a time when your father is calm. Express your feelings in a non-confrontational way. Use “I” statements to avoid triggering his defensiveness. For example, “I feel very hurt and scared when we argue, and it affects my health. I want us to have a peaceful relationship.”
Involve a Neutral Third Party:

Sometimes family dynamics require external mediation. If your father is open to it, consider family counseling. A neutral professional can help facilitate healthier communication patterns.
Build Your Own Resilience:

Strengthen your emotional boundaries through self-care. Engage in activities that bring you joy, whether it’s a hobby, spending time with friends, or pursuing a passion.
Journaling can also be a powerful tool to process your emotions and find clarity. Write without judgment—just let the words flow.
Support Your Mother with Empathy:

While you may feel frustrated by your mother’s silence, understand that she too is coping in the best way she knows how. Gently encourage her to find her voice and share her feelings when she feels safe.
Seek Community Support:

If you cannot share your situation with friends or family, consider joining a support group (online or in person). Knowing you’re not alone can be incredibly healing.
Plan for the Future:

While moving out isn’t an option right now, think about small steps you can take toward greater independence over time. This might include saving money, learning new skills, or preparing emotionally for when you’re ready to take that step.

A Gentle Reminder
MR, healing this situation doesn’t solely depend on changing your father’s behavior. It starts with you reclaiming your power to protect your mental health. Your peace of mind is just as valuable as anyone else’s.

Take this one step at a time. You are not broken—you are resilient. With each small action, you’ll begin to feel more grounded and capable of navigating this challenge.

If you ever need to share more or simply vent, I am here to listen.

Warm regards,
Dr. Ashish Sehgal

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Relationship
Hello Ma'am. I am unwilling to disclose my name. I come from a nuclear family based in Kolkata. I am in a very painful situation and I need your suggestion earnestly. The problem arises with my father. He is 66 , retired and a stay at home dad. He has severe anger issues, is demanding and controlling and often tells certain things verbally that are very traumatic for me. My hands and legs tremble and my heart beats rapidly when ever we have an argument as I am a peace loving person. Of late I have realised that I prefer to maintain distance from him . In all honesty I respect him but my love for him has long gone. My mother is a very demure person and is a stay at home mom. In order to not make my father angry or agitated by any means and to maintain peace in the house, she prefers to do what he prefers. I love my mother dearly but my father calls us a bunch of liars and is agitated that I support my mother. Even though I earn, I am in no position to leave my family/ house and shift elsewhere because I respect my mother's will. But I am traumatized and severely in mental agony. I can neither show my anguish nor express my situation to anyone for fear of being misunderstood. I am often asked to remain silent and not talk back to my father but sometimes the words are unbearable. He financially supports our family and you wouldn't believe if I told you that he has a completely different side when he is not in one of his' moods '. But Ma'am, does being the head of the family means to step over others and do what you feel like, irrespective of what the other members in your family feel? Additionally talking or communication with him also fails because he threatens to leave the house or just pushes us away. Even when I am writing this tears are streaming down my face. I am slowly becoming a shell of myself and am scared. Am I being selfish? Am I missing out something? I am so so tired of adjusting and compromising. I believe I have never ever written such a heart felt message. Can you help me out? Can you tell me how things can be resolved? Regards MR
Ans: From what you’ve shared, your father seems to be wrestling with his own frustrations, using control and anger as tools to manage his environment. This does not make it right, nor does it excuse the pain he causes. But understanding that his behavior may stem from internal struggles might help you view the situation with some compassion, even if from a distance.

Your love and respect for your mother shine through your words, and it’s clear that her well-being is a priority for you. The way you support her is a testament to your strength and kindness. But I also sense that her coping mechanism—complying with your father to maintain peace—might unintentionally place an additional burden on you. It’s as though you’re not only protecting yourself but also shielding her, which is an immense responsibility.

You are not alone in feeling conflicted about standing up to your father. It’s not just about his words; it’s about the power dynamics and the emotional weight he holds in the family. His “other side”—the moments when he is kind or approachable—makes it even harder to reconcile the anger and trauma he causes. This duality often creates confusion and guilt, leaving you wondering if you’re overreacting or misjudging him.

What’s most important right now is preserving your emotional well-being. It’s okay to create boundaries, even if they are small and subtle. For instance, when you sense an argument brewing, stepping away or finding a reason to leave the room can help you avoid escalating the situation. If direct communication with him fails, sometimes maintaining emotional distance is the only way to protect yourself.

I also encourage you to find someone you trust to talk to—a counselor, a friend, or even a support group. Sharing your pain with someone who can listen without judgment can lighten your load and help you feel less alone. Writing, as you’ve done here, is also a powerful outlet. Keep journaling—it can provide clarity and a sense of release.

You’ve asked if being the head of the family means stepping over others. The simple answer is no. True leadership in a family should come from love, mutual respect, and understanding. When it turns into control or fear, it becomes harmful. Your father’s actions do not reflect a failure on your part or your family’s; they reflect his own struggles with how to express himself and manage his emotions.

Finally, give yourself permission to feel tired. You are human, and this constant state of tension would drain anyone. But even in your exhaustion, remember this: you are brave, resilient, and full of love for your family. There is no shame in wanting peace, and there is no shame in seeking help to find it.

With heartfelt wishes for your healing and happiness,

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 30, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hello Mam, My father never wanted to have my own career choices but I finally took my decision and left IIM after 1 year and now working in central government job, even though he was verbally everyday and even my mother didnot believed that I will be able to clear any exams. I am an 28 year old women, I got my posting out of home and when I was finally free, my father and mother with their connections made me transfered and my current posting is at my hometown and again I am living with them. Everytime when I go out I have to inform them where I am going why I am going when I will come home back. I am afraid that my father will again start abusing my mother if I will get married by my own choice. The boy family is good and even he is successful in his career. My parents know him as my friend. But their habit of not giving me freedom and micromanaging because of their insecurities is stressing me out!
Ans: Your parents' controlling behavior isn’t about your capabilities — it’s about their fear of losing control. Often, when parents are deeply conditioned by societal expectations, they confuse love with control. What may seem like “concern” on the surface is, at its core, a refusal to trust your maturity and autonomy. You’ve built your life with discipline and hard work, and yet they continue to micromanage your every move, which is emotionally suffocating. It’s even more complex because your father has a history of verbal abuse, which creates a fear-based silence in the household — especially around decisions like marriage.

You’re not wrong to feel stressed. You’re not overreacting. You’re simply reacting to a system that constantly undermines your independence. And now, with love and marriage in the picture, the pressure increases — not just because you want to choose your partner, but because you know the emotional cost your mother might pay if your father feels challenged again.

Here’s the hard truth: living your life to protect someone else’s comfort or to avoid conflict is not truly living. Yes, you love your mother, and yes, your father’s patterns may continue — but your life cannot be paused or dictated by his inability to manage his own emotions. You are not responsible for his temper or his ego. You are responsible for your own peace.

This doesn’t mean rebellion — it means building quiet strength. If this relationship is truly what you want, start gently setting emotional and logistical boundaries. You can continue to present him as a “friend” for now while you plan your next step. You may need support — from a mentor, therapist, or trusted elder — to navigate this transition calmly and safely.

What’s most important is that you do not let fear become your compass. Your parents’ insecurities are not your burden to carry forever. Your life, your relationship, your happiness — they are yours to own. And if you ever feel overwhelmed, remind yourself of everything you've overcome already. You walked away from a premier institute and built something solid for yourself. That kind of strength doesn’t go away — it just needs permission to rise again.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
Money
Good Morning Sir, I am having a Mutual Fund portfolio of 3.7 Crores, Savings account balance in India of 10 lacs, and PPF/Sukanya Samriddhi/NPS of around 30 lacs. My savings account in UAE has about 30 lacs. I have lost my job and am currently trying to get one. We will be in the UAE till July so that my daughter can complete her school year. If I get a job by then, it will be great; but if not, will I be able to retire with these funds? Please assume that the UAE savings account will be depleted by July during relocation. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Your financial discipline over many years deserves appreciation.
You stayed invested with patience.
You built wealth across countries.
This foundation gives you real confidence now.

» Current Life Stage and Context
– You are facing temporary job loss.
– You are still financially independent.
– UAE stay continues till July.
– Relocation costs are already planned.
– This phase needs calm decisions.
– Fear is natural, but clarity matters.

» Family Responsibilities Snapshot
– You have a school-going daughter.
– Education continuity is a priority.
– Stability for the child matters emotionally.
– Your planning already reflects responsibility.
– This strengthens your overall position.

» Asset Position Review
– Mutual fund portfolio is Rs.3.7 Crores.
– Indian savings account holds Rs.10 lacs.
– Long-term savings total about Rs.30 lacs.
– UAE savings will reduce to zero.
– Home ownership lowers future expenses.
– Net worth remains strong even after relocation.

» Liquidity and Cash Comfort
– Indian savings give immediate support.
– Mutual funds provide large liquidity.
– Withdrawals can be staggered wisely.
– Forced selling is avoidable.
– This protects capital during volatility.

» Job Loss Impact Assessment
– Income disruption affects confidence.
– It does not erase financial strength.
– You have time to decide.
– Rushed retirement decisions harm outcomes.
– Temporary gaps need flexible planning.

» Can You Retire If Job Does Not Come
– Retirement is possible with discipline.
– It requires expense control.
– It needs structured withdrawals.
– Lifestyle choices become important.
– Emotional readiness is equally critical.

» Early Retirement Reality Check
– Retirement at mid-forties is early.
– Corpus must last many decades.
– Inflation will work continuously.
– Growth assets cannot be abandoned.
– Balance is more important than returns.

» Role of Mutual Funds Going Forward
– Mutual funds remain core growth assets.
– Equity exposure should stay meaningful.
– Allocation should become more balanced.
– Risk control becomes more important now.
– Portfolio reviews must be regular.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Suit You
– Active funds respond to market stress.
– Fund managers adjust sector exposure.
– Valuation discipline is applied.
– Index funds fall fully with markets.
– Passive exposure increases drawdown risk.
– Active management supports smoother retirement.

» Managing Equity Volatility During Retirement
– Sudden market falls can hurt withdrawals.
– Selling equity during crashes damages corpus.
– Withdrawal planning must protect equity.
– Buffer assets reduce stress.
– This approach improves sustainability.

» Importance of Stable Assets
– Stable assets support monthly expenses.
– They reduce emotional reactions.
– They protect during market corrections.
– They fund short-term needs.
– This gives peace of mind.

» Role of Government-Backed Savings
– PPF and similar provide safety.
– Returns are predictable.
– Liquidity rules must be respected.
– These should not fund early expenses.
– They act as long-term protection.

» Expense Planning After Returning to India
– Living in owned home lowers costs.
– India expenses are lower than UAE.
– Lifestyle inflation must be avoided.
– Spending discipline extends corpus life.
– Regular tracking becomes essential.

» Education Planning for Your Daughter
– Education costs will rise steadily.
– This goal cannot face market risk alone.
– Dedicated allocation is required.
– Avoid mixing education money with retirement.
– Separate mental buckets improve clarity.

» Tax Considerations During Withdrawals
– Equity mutual fund withdrawals attract capital gains tax.
– Long-term gains above Rs.1.25 lakh are taxed.
– Short-term gains attract higher tax.
– Withdrawal sequencing reduces tax burden.
– Proper planning avoids unnecessary taxes.

» Health and Protection Planning
– Health insurance must be adequate.
– Employer cover may stop.
– Medical inflation is severe.
– Health costs can derail plans.
– Protection safeguards your corpus.

» Psychological Readiness for Retirement
– Retirement is not only financial.
– Loss of routine can disturb balance.
– Purpose keeps mind active.
– Part-time work can help.
– Engagement supports mental health.

» Semi-Retirement as a Practical Option
– Consulting reduces withdrawal pressure.
– Flexible work gives confidence.
– Income extends corpus life.
– Market volatility becomes easier to handle.
– This option offers balance.

» Time Advantage You Still Have
– You still have working years.
– One job changes everything positively.
– Corpus continues to compound.
– Do not rush permanent decisions.
– Allow time for clarity.

» Mistakes to Avoid Now
– Avoid panic selling.
– Avoid drastic asset changes.
– Avoid chasing guaranteed returns.
– Avoid emotional decisions.
– Stability protects wealth.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– Helps structure withdrawals.
– Aligns assets with goals.
– Manages risk during uncertainty.
– Protects child education goals.
– Provides clarity and confidence.

» Final Insights
– Your financial base is strong.
– Retirement is possible with discipline.
– Job income adds comfort, not necessity.
– Balanced asset allocation is essential.
– Active fund management suits this stage.
– Emotional calm will protect decisions.
– Structured planning ensures long-term peace.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
Money
Good Morning Sir, I am having a Mutual Fund portfolio of 3.7 Crores, Savings account balance in India of 10 lacs, and PPF/Sukanya Samriddhi/NPS of around 30 lacs. My savings account in UAE has about 30 lacs. I have lost my job and am currently trying to get one. We will be in the UAE till July so that my daughter can complete her school year. If I get a job by then, it will be great; but if not, will I be able to retire with these funds? Please assume that the UAE savings account will be depleted by July during relocation. I have my own apartment in Delhi and present age is 46 with daughter age is 13 Kindly suggest.
Ans: Your discipline over years deserves appreciation.
You built wealth across phases.
You avoided lifestyle inflation.
You planned even while abroad.
This gives you strength now.
Job loss does not erase past discipline.

» Current Life Situation Assessment
– You are 46 years old.
– Your daughter is 13 years old.
– You are temporarily without income.
– UAE stay continues till July.
– Relocation costs are already considered.
– Emotional stress is natural now.

» Asset Snapshot and Financial Base
– Mutual fund portfolio is Rs.3.7 Crores.
– Indian savings account holds Rs.10 lacs.
– Long-term government-backed savings are Rs.30 lacs.
– UAE savings of Rs.30 lacs will deplete.
– You own a Delhi apartment.
– No mention of liabilities exists.

» Net Worth Strength Perspective
– Financial assets remain very strong.
– Market-linked assets dominate wealth.
– Liquidity exists even after relocation.
– Home ownership reduces living pressure.
– This is a solid base.
– Many retirees have far less.

» Employment Gap Impact Review
– Job loss impacts cash flow.
– It does not destroy wealth.
– Time gap creates anxiety.
– Planning reduces fear.
– Your corpus buys time.
– Decisions must remain calm.

» Key Question You Are Asking
– Can I retire if job fails.
– Can corpus last lifelong.
– Can child education be protected.
– Can lifestyle be sustained.
– Can risk be managed.
– These are valid concerns.

» Retirement Age and Horizon View
– Retirement at 46 is early.
– Life expectancy is long.
– Corpus must last decades.
– Inflation will work continuously.
– Growth assets remain essential.
– Protection planning becomes critical.

» Expense Reality After India Return
– Living in owned home helps.
– Rent expense becomes zero.
– India costs are lower than UAE.
– School expenses will continue.
– Lifestyle moderation may be required.
– Flexibility improves sustainability.

» Child Education Responsibility
– Daughter is 13 now.
– Higher education remains ahead.
– Education costs will rise.
– This cannot be compromised.
– Planning must ring-fence this goal.
– Separate allocation is necessary.

» Current Liquidity Comfort
– Indian savings give short-term support.
– Mutual funds give long-term strength.
– PPF and similar give safety.
– Liquidity is adequate now.
– Emergency comfort exists.
– Panic actions are avoidable.

» Can You Retire Immediately
– Technically possible with discipline.
– Practically requires lifestyle alignment.
– Emotionally may feel uncomfortable.
– Job income adds safety.
– Partial work may help.
– Full stop is not mandatory.

» Semi-Retirement as a Middle Path
– Consulting work can reduce pressure.
– Part-time roles give confidence.
– Income reduces withdrawal stress.
– Corpus continues compounding.
– Psychological comfort improves.
– This is often ideal.

» Withdrawal Risk Awareness
– Early retirement faces sequence risk.
– Market downturns can hurt withdrawals.
– Timing matters greatly.
– Structured withdrawal planning is critical.
– Random redemptions harm corpus.
– Discipline protects longevity.

» Mutual Fund Portfolio Role
– Mutual funds remain growth engine.
– They must be managed actively.
– Asset allocation matters more now.
– Aggression should slowly reduce.
– Quality focus becomes key.
– Overlapping exposure must be reviewed.

» Why Active Management Matters Now
– Active funds adjust during downturns.
– Valuations are monitored.
– Risk is controlled dynamically.
– Index exposure falls fully.
– Drawdowns can be harsh.
– Active oversight suits retirees better.

» Debt Allocation Importance
– Debt provides stability.
– Debt funds withdrawals calmly.
– Debt avoids forced equity selling.
– It smoothens cash flow.
– Peace of mind improves.
– Balance is essential now.

» Role of Government-Backed Savings
– PPF and similar give safety.
– They provide predictability.
– Liquidity rules must be respected.
– They support capital protection.
– Keep them untouched longer.
– They act as anchor.

» Managing Market Volatility Emotionally
– Job loss increases fear.
– Markets amplify emotions.
– Avoid reacting to headlines.
– Follow pre-set plan.
– Review annually only.
– Emotional discipline is wealth.

» Tax Awareness During Withdrawals
– Equity withdrawals attract capital gains tax.
– Long-term gains above Rs.1.25 lakh are taxed.
– Short-term gains attract higher tax.
– Withdrawal sequencing matters.
– Tax efficiency improves longevity.
– Planning avoids surprises.

» What You Should Avoid Now
– Avoid panic selling.
– Avoid liquidating entire equity.
– Avoid chasing guaranteed returns.
– Avoid lending informally.
– Avoid untested products.
– Simplicity protects capital.

» Health and Insurance Angle
– Health cover must be strong.
– Job-linked cover may end.
– Family protection is critical.
– Medical inflation is high.
– Review coverage immediately.
– This safeguards corpus.

» Lifestyle Adjustment Reality
– Retirement needs conscious spending.
– Wants must be filtered.
– Needs must be secured.
– Child education stays priority.
– Travel plans may adjust.
– Control gives confidence.

» Psychological Side of Early Retirement
– Identity loss may occur.
– Work gives structure.
– Social engagement matters.
– Purpose prevents anxiety.
– Financial independence is not idleness.
– Mental planning is vital.

» Time as Your Biggest Asset
– You still have years.
– Corpus can still grow.
– One good job changes picture.
– Do not rush decisions.
– Allow six to twelve months.
– Calm thinking improves outcomes.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– Helps structure withdrawals.
– Aligns assets with life stages.
– Prevents emotional mistakes.
– Reviews asset allocation.
– Protects child goals.
– Adds clarity in uncertainty.

» Final Insights
– Your financial base is strong.
– Immediate retirement is possible with discipline.
– Job income adds safety and comfort.
– Semi-retirement is a balanced option.
– Child education must be ring-fenced.
– Active fund management suits your stage.
– Liquidity and debt bring stability.
– Patience and structure will protect your future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
45 years of age, self employed. I am selling my flat and after paying all taxes/capital gains should have roughly about 70 lakhs to invest. I already have 65 lakhs in MF, 95 lakhs portfolio in equity and also have couple more real estate properties where i fetch about 1 lakh.per month rental income. My monthly earning currently is irratic and annually around 10-12lakhs. No EMI , LOANS ETC. outgoing are SIP OF 60000, anything surplus I invest in equity. Child is 8 years and his education, future education, current fees all are made up for as mentioned and my wife together do SIP OF 110000 towards the same. My question is my wife and my investments are all exposed to MF AND equity. NO FD, NO OTHER diversified investments. So this income from sale of flat, do we invest in markets again or any other options are available. We have no liabilities , hence can take medium to agressive risks .
Ans: Your discipline and clarity deserve appreciation.
You have built assets patiently.
You avoided unnecessary debt wisely.
Your questions show maturity and foresight.
This is a strong financial position already.
Now refinement matters more than expansion.

» Your Current Financial Strength
– You are 45 years old.
– You are self-employed with flexibility.
– Annual income is irregular but healthy.
– No loans or EMIs exist.
– Rental income provides stability.
– This is a strong base.

» Asset Overview and Balance
– Mutual fund exposure is significant.
– Direct equity exposure is also large.
– Real estate exposure already exists.
– Child education planning is well handled.
– SIP discipline is excellent.
– Overall net worth is strong.

» Liquidity and Cash Flow Position
– Rental income gives steady monthly cash.
– Business income is uneven.
– SIP commitments are comfortably met.
– Surplus is invested regularly.
– Liquidity buffer needs assessment.
– Emergency comfort matters for self-employed.

» Risk Capacity Versus Risk Comfort
– Risk capacity is clearly high.
– Risk comfort also seems high.
– However concentration risk exists.
– Markets dominate portfolio exposure.
– Volatility impact must be evaluated.
– Diversification is the real concern.

» Understanding Concentration Risk
– Equity and mutual funds move together.
– Market downturns affect both sharply.
– Psychological stress can increase.
– Liquidity may dry temporarily.
– Long-term returns remain good.
– But timing risk exists.

» Your Core Question Clarified
– You are not asking about returns.
– You are asking about balance.
– You want intelligent diversification.
– You want risk-managed growth.
– You want capital protection layers.
– This is correct thinking.

» Should the Rs.70 Lakhs Enter Markets Fully
– Putting all again into markets increases concentration.
– It magnifies timing risk.
– Even strong investors need balance.
– Markets may not always cooperate.
– Partial allocation is sensible.
– Phased deployment is wiser.

» Importance of Staggered Investment
– Lump sum market entry carries timing risk.
– Volatility can impact short-term value.
– Phased investing smoothens entry.
– Emotion management improves.
– Decision quality stays high.
– Discipline matters even for experienced investors.

» Role of Debt-Oriented Instruments
– Debt provides stability to portfolio.
– Debt reduces overall volatility.
– Debt supports rebalancing later.
– Debt gives liquidity comfort.
– Returns are predictable.
– Peace of mind improves decision making.

» Why Some Debt Exposure Is Necessary
– You are self-employed.
– Income is irregular.
– Markets can fall anytime.
– Debt cushions lifestyle needs.
– Avoid forced equity selling.
– This protects long-term wealth.

» Debt Mutual Funds Perspective
– Debt funds offer flexibility.
– They are more tax-efficient than fixed deposits.
– Liquidity is better.
– Suitable for medium-term goals.
– Risk varies by fund quality.
– Selection must be conservative.

» Avoiding Fixed Deposits Blindly
– Fixed deposits lock money.
– Tax efficiency is poor.
– Returns barely beat inflation.
– Liquidity may have penalties.
– Better alternatives exist.
– Structure matters more than familiarity.

» Hybrid and Balanced Allocation Thought
– Hybrid funds mix growth and stability.
– Volatility remains controlled.
– Suitable for capital protection.
– Good parking for part capital.
– Helps rebalancing automatically.
– Useful during uncertain markets.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Suit You
– Active managers adjust with cycles.
– Valuations matter to them.
– Sector rotation is managed.
– Downside protection improves.
– Concentration risk reduces.
– Passive exposure lacks this flexibility.

» Disadvantages of Index Exposure
– Index follows markets blindly.
– No valuation control exists.
– Drawdowns are full impact.
– Recovery takes patience.
– Emotional stress increases.
– Active management adds value here.

» Existing Equity Portfolio Review Thought
– Equity exposure is already high.
– Additional equity should be selective.
– Avoid duplication across holdings.
– Style diversification matters.
– Avoid over-aggression now.
– Capital preservation gains importance.

» Asset Allocation Direction Suggested
– Equity should still remain majority.
– Debt should act as stabiliser.
– Allocation must be intentional.
– Not reactive to market moods.
– Review annually.
– Adjust gradually with age.

» Emergency and Opportunity Fund
– Self-employed professionals need buffers.
– At least one year expenses covered.
– This avoids panic during downturns.
– Opportunity buying also becomes possible.
– Confidence improves decision making.
– Liquidity brings power.

» Role of Alternative Strategies
– Avoid unregulated products.
– Avoid opaque structures.
– Simplicity works best.
– Transparency builds trust.
– Liquidity should not be compromised.
– Focus on controllable risks.

» Tax Efficiency Awareness
– Capital gains planning matters.
– Phased investing helps tax management.
– Debt funds taxed per slab.
– Equity taxed on withdrawal.
– Withdrawal planning matters later.
– Structure supports efficiency.

» Retirement Planning Angle
– Retirement is still distant.
– But preparation must start.
– Equity will power long-term growth.
– Debt will stabilise income later.
– Balanced build-up helps future SWP.
– This foresight is valuable.

» Child Goal Already Secured
– Education planning is strong.
– SIP discipline is excellent.
– No need to disturb this.
– Avoid overlapping investments.
– Keep child goal separate.
– This reduces confusion later.

» Behavioural Discipline Strength
– You already invest consistently.
– You avoid panic actions.
– You reinvest surplus logically.
– This is rare.
– Maintain this strength.
– Do not complicate unnecessarily.

» What Not to Do With Rs.70 Lakhs
– Do not rush entire amount.
– Do not chase trending assets.
– Do not over-diversify blindly.
– Do not keep idle long-term.
– Do not ignore risk layering.
– Avoid emotional decisions.

» Suggested Deployment Philosophy
– Divide money by purpose.
– Some for stability.
– Some for growth.
– Some for liquidity.
– Invest gradually.
– Review annually.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– Helps structure allocation.
– Prevents overexposure mistakes.
– Aligns with life goals.
– Manages behavioural risks.
– Reviews objectively.
– Adds long-term value.

» Final Insights
– Your financial base is strong.
– Concentration risk is the key concern.
– Full market reinvestment needs caution.
– Partial debt allocation improves balance.
– Phased investing reduces timing risk.
– Active management suits your profile.
– Liquidity buffer is essential.
– Structured diversification will protect and grow wealth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
I am 54 years old, my monthly salary is 40 K, my liability 6 lakhs loan liability and personal from 2 lakhs in ICICI bank, and 5000 two wheeler loan from hdfc and another loan of Rs, 35000 from LIC Policy pledged. I invested Rs. 58000 in stocks and Rs. 15000 in mutual funds and I have owned a residential house in kochi, Kerala No Other Savings. Pls. advise to how can I some savings at the age of 60
Ans: You have shown courage by asking this question honestly.
Many people avoid facing numbers at this age.
You are taking responsibility now.
That itself is a strong positive step.
There is still time to improve outcomes.
With discipline, progress is possible.

» Current Age and Time Availability
– You are 54 years old now.
– Retirement planning window is around six years.
– Time is limited but not over.
– Focus must shift to stability and control.
– Aggressive risks should reduce gradually.
– Consistency matters more than return chasing.

» Income Position Assessment
– Monthly salary is Rs.40,000.
– Income appears fixed and predictable.
– Salary growth may be limited now.
– Planning should assume stable income only.
– Avoid depending on uncertain future hikes.
– Savings must come from discipline.

» Expense Awareness and Reality
– Expenses were not detailed fully.
– Loans indicate cash flow pressure.
– Lifestyle spending must be reviewed honestly.
– Small savings matter at this stage.
– Leakages need strict control.
– Tracking expenses becomes critical now.

» Loan and Liability Overview
– Total loan burden is significant.
– Personal loan of Rs.6 lakh exists.
– Additional Rs.2 lakh personal loan exists.
– Two-wheeler loan EMI of Rs.5,000 runs.
– LIC policy loan of Rs.35,000 exists.
– Multiple loans increase stress.

» Interest Cost Impact
– Personal loans carry high interest.
– Two-wheeler loan also costs more.
– LIC policy loan reduces policy benefits.
– High interest erodes future savings.
– Loan control must be first priority.
– Returns cannot beat high interest easily.

» Asset Position Overview
– Residential house in Kochi is owned.
– House gives living security.
– No rental income assumed currently.
– House should not be sold for retirement.
– Emotional and practical value is high.
– Treat it as safety asset.

» Investment Snapshot
– Equity stock investment is Rs.58,000.
– Mutual fund investment is Rs.15,000.
– Total financial investments are very low.
– This limits compounding benefits.
– However, starting now still helps.
– Even small steps matter.

» Liquidity and Emergency Status
– No clear emergency fund exists.
– Loans indicate past emergencies.
– Lack of emergency fund causes borrowing.
– This cycle must stop.
– Emergency fund is foundation.
– Without it, savings break repeatedly.

» Priority Reset Required
– Retirement savings come after stability.
– First priority is cash flow control.
– Second priority is loan reduction.
– Third priority is emergency fund.
– Fourth priority is retirement investing.
– Order matters greatly now.

» Debt Reduction Strategy Importance
– Reducing loans gives guaranteed returns.
– Emotional relief also improves discipline.
– Fewer EMIs free monthly cash.
– Cash can redirect to savings.
– Retirement planning needs free cash flow.
– Debt blocks future progress.

» Which Loan to Target First
– Focus on highest interest loan first.
– Personal loans usually cost the most.
– Two-wheeler loan can follow.
– LIC policy loan should close early.
– Policy value should recover.
– Avoid new borrowing strictly.

» LIC Policy Review
– LIC policy is pledged currently.
– This reduces maturity value.
– Many LIC policies give low returns.
– Insurance and investment are mixed here.
– Such policies hurt retirement efficiency.
– Review purpose of this policy carefully.

» Action on LIC Policy
– If LIC is investment-oriented, reconsider.
– Surrender may free funds.
– Loan can be cleared using surrender value.
– Remaining amount can rebuild savings.
– Policy continuation must justify benefits.
– Emotional attachment should be avoided.

» Emergency Fund Creation
– Emergency fund should cover basic expenses.
– Target at least six months needs.
– Start with small monthly amount.
– Keep it separate from investments.
– This prevents future borrowing.
– Stability improves mental peace.

» Retirement Goal Reality Check
– Retirement age is close.
– Corpus building time is short.
– Expectations must stay realistic.
– Focus on supplementary income creation.
– Avoid risky return promises.
– Capital protection becomes important.

» Role of Equity at This Stage
– Equity still has a role.
– But exposure must be limited.
– Volatility can hurt near retirement.
– Balanced approach is needed.
– Equity for growth.
– Debt for stability.

» Mutual Fund Strategy Thought Process
– Mutual funds offer flexibility.
– SIP helps discipline monthly savings.
– Actively managed funds suit this phase.
– Fund managers adjust risk dynamically.
– This protects downside better.
– Index funds lack such control.

» Why Index Funds Are Risky Now
– Index funds fall fully with markets.
– No protection during market crashes.
– Near retirement, recovery time is less.
– Emotional panic risk increases.
– Active funds manage risk better.
– Stability matters more than matching index.

» Direct Funds Versus Regular Funds
– Direct funds need strong self-discipline.
– Wrong fund choice can hurt badly.
– No guidance during market stress.
– Regular funds offer support.
– Certified Financial Planner guidance helps.
– Behaviour management is crucial now.

» Monthly Savings Possibility
– Even Rs.3,000 matters now.
– Start small but stay consistent.
– Increase amount after loan closure.
– Automate savings immediately after salary.
– Avoid waiting for surplus.
– Surplus never comes automatically.

» Expense Rationalisation Steps
– Review subscriptions and discretionary spends.
– Reduce non-essential expenses.
– Delay lifestyle upgrades.
– Focus on needs over wants.
– Every saved rupee counts.
– Discipline builds confidence.

» Asset Allocation Approach
– Majority should be stable assets.
– Smaller portion in growth assets.
– Avoid concentration risk.
– Do not chase trending stocks.
– Consistency beats speculation.
– Preservation becomes key now.

» Stock Investment Review
– Existing stocks need careful review.
– Avoid frequent trading.
– High risk stocks should reduce gradually.
– Capital protection matters now.
– Reinvest proceeds wisely.
– Emotional decisions must stop.

» Retirement Income Planning Thought
– Retirement income must be predictable.
– Monthly cash flow is required.
– Capital should last longer.
– Avoid lump sum withdrawals.
– Planning must support longevity.
– Health costs may rise later.

» Health Insurance Importance
– Medical expenses rise with age.
– Adequate health insurance is essential.
– This protects retirement savings.
– Avoid policy gaps.
– Review coverage annually.
– Health shocks destroy savings fast.

» Tax Efficiency Consideration
– Tax should be considered carefully.
– Mutual funds offer tax efficiency.
– Gains taxed only on withdrawal.
– Equity gains have specific rules.
– Debt gains taxed as per slab.
– Planning reduces unnecessary tax.

» Behavioural Discipline Required
– Market volatility will test patience.
– Avoid panic selling.
– Avoid greed-driven buying.
– Stick to chosen path.
– Annual review is sufficient.
– Emotional control is critical.

» Role of Side Income
– Explore small side income options.
– Skill-based work can help.
– Even small extra income helps.
– Direct it fully into savings.
– Do not increase lifestyle.
– Purpose is retirement security.

» Family Communication
– Family should know limitations.
– Set realistic expectations together.
– Avoid financial surprises later.
– Transparency reduces stress.
– Shared responsibility helps discipline.
– Support improves success chances.

» Common Mistakes to Avoid
– Chasing high return promises.
– Ignoring debt problem.
– Using retirement money for emergencies.
– Frequent portfolio changes.
– Delaying action further.
– Comparing with others.

» Psychological Aspect
– Guilt about late start is normal.
– Do not dwell on past.
– Focus on controllable actions now.
– Small wins build confidence.
– Progress matters more than perfection.
– Hope must stay alive.

» What Success Looks Like Now
– Reduced debt burden.
– Emergency fund in place.
– Regular monthly savings habit.
– Controlled risk exposure.
– Predictable retirement income support.
– Peace of mind.

» Final Insights
– You are late but not helpless.
– Debt reduction is first priority.
– Emergency fund is essential.
– LIC policy needs careful review.
– Mutual funds can support retirement.
– Active management suits your stage.
– Discipline matters more than amount.
– With steady effort, improvement is possible.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
can anyone suggest some good mutual funds to invest ?
Ans: It is good you are asking this question.
Many people invest blindly without understanding.
Your intent shows responsibility and awareness.
This is the right starting point.
Mutual funds work best with clarity.
I appreciate your willingness to learn.

» Understanding the Real Question
– You are not asking for returns alone.
– You are asking for safety and growth.
– You want confidence in decisions.
– You want fewer mistakes.
– This mindset is very important.
– Mutual funds need goal-based thinking.

» Why “Good Mutual Funds” Is a Relative Term
– There is no single best fund.
– Suitability matters more than popularity.
– Age changes risk tolerance.
– Income stability matters.
– Time horizon matters greatly.
– Emotional comfort also matters.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– A Certified Financial Planner matches funds to goals.
– Random suggestions often fail.
– Personal context decides suitability.
– Fund selection is not guessing.
– It is a structured process.
– Guidance prevents costly mistakes.

» First Step Before Choosing Any Fund
– Identify your goal clearly.
– Short term goals differ from long term.
– Retirement goals need stability.
– Wealth creation needs patience.
– Emergency money should stay separate.
– Mixing goals creates confusion.

» Importance of Time Horizon
– Less than three years needs safety.
– Three to seven years needs balance.
– More than seven years allows growth focus.
– Time absorbs market volatility.
– Longer time reduces risk.
– Short time increases uncertainty.

» Understanding Risk Properly
– Risk is not loss alone.
– Risk is emotional panic also.
– Wrong fund causes sleepless nights.
– Panic selling destroys wealth.
– Right fund keeps you calm.
– Calm investors earn better returns.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Matter
– Markets change constantly.
– Companies rise and fall.
– Active managers track these changes.
– They reduce exposure during stress.
– They increase quality holdings.
– This flexibility protects capital.

» Disadvantages of Index Funds
– Index funds blindly follow markets.
– No downside protection exists.
– Full fall happens during crashes.
– Recovery takes time.
– Near goals, this hurts badly.
– Active funds manage risk better.

» Importance of Asset Allocation
– Do not put everything in equity.
– Debt provides stability.
– Equity provides growth.
– Balance reduces volatility.
– Allocation should change with age.
– This improves long-term success.

» Equity Mutual Fund Categories Explained
– Large-focused funds invest in stable companies.
– Mid-focused funds aim higher growth.
– Smaller companies bring higher volatility.
– Flexi-style funds adjust across sizes.
– Balanced style funds mix debt and equity.
– Each serves a different purpose.

» When to Use Large-Focused Equity Funds
– Suitable for conservative investors.
– Suitable for beginners.
– Suitable near retirement.
– Volatility remains lower.
– Growth is steady.
– Confidence remains higher.

» When to Use Mid-Focused Equity Funds
– Suitable for longer horizons.
– Suitable for moderate risk takers.
– Returns can be higher.
– Falls can be sharp sometimes.
– Requires patience.
– SIP helps manage volatility.

» When to Use Smaller Company Focused Funds
– Only for long horizons.
– Only for high risk tolerance.
– Not suitable near goals.
– Volatility is very high.
– Returns fluctuate widely.
– Allocation should be limited.

» Role of Flexi-Style Equity Funds
– Managers move across market sizes.
– They respond to valuations.
– They reduce concentration risk.
– Suitable for uncertain markets.
– Good core holding.
– Useful across life stages.

» Balanced Style Funds Explained
– Mix of equity and debt exists.
– Volatility is lower.
– Returns are smoother.
– Suitable for conservative investors.
– Suitable near retirement.
– Provides income stability.

» Debt Mutual Fund Understanding
– Debt funds invest in fixed income instruments.
– Returns are more stable.
– Risk depends on credit quality.
– Short duration suits safety needs.
– Long duration suits interest rate cycles.
– Selection must be careful.

» Why Debt Funds Matter
– They reduce overall portfolio risk.
– They provide predictable returns.
– They help during market crashes.
– They support regular withdrawals.
– They improve sleep quality.
– They bring balance.

» Tax Aspect Awareness
– Equity gains have holding period rules.
– Long term equity gains have lower tax.
– Short term gains attract higher tax.
– Debt gains taxed as per slab.
– Holding period planning reduces tax.
– Withdrawal planning matters.

» SIP Versus Lump Sum
– SIP builds discipline.
– SIP reduces timing risk.
– Lump sum suits surplus money.
– Market timing is difficult.
– SIP suits salaried investors.
– Consistency matters more than timing.

» Why Regular Funds Are Better for Most
– Regular funds provide guidance.
– Behaviour management is included.
– Review support is available.
– Panic decisions are reduced.
– CFP guidance adds value.
– Cost difference is justified often.

» Disadvantages of Direct Funds
– No handholding during volatility.
– Wrong allocation mistakes occur.
– Investors panic during falls.
– Discipline breaks easily.
– Mistakes cost more than savings.
– Support matters more than cost.

» Portfolio Construction Principles
– Limit number of funds.
– Avoid duplication.
– Diversify across styles.
– Align funds with goals.
– Review annually only.
– Avoid frequent changes.

» How Many Funds Are Enough
– Too many funds confuse tracking.
– Four to six funds are enough.
– Each fund must have a role.
– Overlapping funds reduce efficiency.
– Simplicity improves discipline.
– Control improves results.

» Common Mistakes Investors Make
– Chasing recent performance.
– Following social media tips.
– Switching frequently.
– Investing without goals.
– Ignoring asset allocation.
– Stopping SIP during downturns.

» Behaviour Is More Important Than Funds
– Good behaviour beats good products.
– Staying invested matters most.
– Panic destroys compounding.
– Patience builds wealth.
– Discipline creates results.
– Confidence grows over time.

» Role of Review and Rebalancing
– Portfolio needs periodic review.
– Life changes need adjustments.
– Risk increases with market rise.
– Rebalancing restores balance.
– Annual review is enough.
– Over-monitoring creates stress.

» Age-Based Allocation Thought
– Younger investors can take higher equity.
– Middle age needs balanced approach.
– Near retirement needs stability.
– Allocation must reduce risk gradually.
– This protects capital.
– Longevity risk increases later.

» Emotional Side of Investing
– Fear and greed influence decisions.
– Market news creates panic.
– Discipline reduces emotional damage.
– Guidance provides reassurance.
– Staying calm is crucial.
– Long-term view wins.

» Importance of Emergency Fund
– Emergency fund protects investments.
– It avoids forced selling.
– Keep it separate from mutual funds.
– Liquidity matters here.
– Peace of mind improves discipline.
– This is foundation step.

» Goal-Based Investing Is Key
– Each goal needs its own strategy.
– Education goals differ from retirement.
– Short goals need safety.
– Long goals allow growth.
– Mixing goals causes confusion.
– Structure brings clarity.

» Final Insights
– Good mutual funds depend on your goals.
– Actively managed funds suit most investors.
– Asset allocation matters more than fund names.
– Discipline beats market timing.
– Guidance reduces costly mistakes.
– Start with clarity and patience.
– Stay consistent and review annually.
– This approach builds long-term wealth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
Money
My friend age is 39 salary is 70000 loan 100000 with 1200 EMI had 5.5 lakh pf and yearly lic policies of 45000 had own house worth 40 lakhs and one land worth 15 lakhs nearly son age is 4 how to invest for education
Ans: Your friend has taken a responsible step by thinking early.
Planning for a child’s education shows care and foresight.
Starting now gives strong advantage.
Time is the biggest strength here.
This deserves appreciation and encouragement.

» Family and Life Stage Assessment
– Your friend is 39 years old.
– Child is only 4 years old.
– Education goal is 14 to 18 years away.
– This gives long investment runway.
– Long horizon allows growth focus.
– Early planning reduces pressure later.

» Income and Stability Review
– Monthly salary is Rs.70,000.
– Income seems stable currently.
– EMI burden is very low.
– Loan amount is manageable.
– Cash flow pressure appears limited.
– This supports long-term investing.

» Existing Asset Overview
– Provident fund value is Rs.5.5 lakh.
– Own house provides residential security.
– Land holding adds balance sheet strength.
– Physical assets already exist.
– Education funding should stay financial.
– Avoid mixing goals with properties.

» Current Liability Position
– Loan amount is only Rs.1 lakh.
– EMI is Rs.1,200 monthly.
– Debt stress is minimal.
– No urgent prepayment pressure exists.
– Liquidity remains comfortable.
– This supports regular investments.

» Child Education Cost Reality
– Education costs rise faster than inflation.
– Higher education costs are unpredictable.
– Foreign education increases costs sharply.
– Professional courses cost much more.
– Planning should assume higher expenses.
– Conservative assumptions protect future.

» Time Horizon Advantage
– Child has 14 plus years.
– Long horizon favours equity exposure.
– Short-term volatility becomes irrelevant.
– Compounding works best over time.
– Discipline matters more than timing.
– Starting early reduces monthly burden.

» Goal Segregation Importance
– Education goal must stay separate.
– Retirement goals should not mix.
– House and land should remain untouched.
– Education money needs liquidity later.
– Clear buckets avoid confusion.
– This brings clarity and focus.

» Provident Fund Role Clarification
– PF is meant for retirement.
– Avoid using PF for education.
– PF offers safety, not flexibility.
– Withdrawal later affects retirement comfort.
– Let PF compound peacefully.
– Education should have its own plan.

» LIC Policy Assessment
– LIC policies are long-term commitments.
– Many LIC policies give low returns.
– Education goal needs higher growth.
– Insurance and investment should not mix.
– Review policy purpose carefully.
– Education planning needs efficiency.

» Action on LIC Policies
– If LIC is investment oriented, review seriously.
– Such policies often underperform inflation.
– Education goal needs stronger growth engine.
– Consider surrender after policy review.
– Redirect money into mutual funds.
– This improves goal probability.

» Risk Capacity Versus Risk Appetite
– Income stability supports equity exposure.
– Child’s age supports growth focus.
– Emotional comfort still matters.
– Portfolio should avoid extreme swings.
– Balance reduces regret during downturns.
– Discipline ensures long-term success.

» Asset Allocation Thought Process
– Education goal allows higher equity allocation.
– Small debt portion adds stability.
– Allocation should change near goal.
– Gradual de-risking protects corpus.
– No sudden changes later.
– Planning must be dynamic.

» Why Mutual Funds Fit Education Goals
– Mutual funds offer growth potential.
– They allow disciplined monthly investing.
– SIP suits salary earners well.
– Flexibility exists for top-ups.
– Liquidity is available when needed.
– Transparency improves understanding.

» Importance of Active Management
– Active funds manage downside risks.
– Fund managers respond to market changes.
– Education corpus cannot afford blind tracking.
– Index investing lacks downside control.
– Active approach suits long-term goals.
– Flexibility is critical here.

» Why Index Funds Are Not Ideal
– Index funds follow markets mechanically.
– They fall fully during market crashes.
– No protection during extreme volatility.
– Education timeline cannot wait always.
– Active funds adjust allocations actively.
– This reduces emotional stress.

» Monthly Investment Discipline
– SIP builds habit and discipline.
– Small amounts grow meaningfully over time.
– Step-up SIP improves future corpus.
– Salary growth supports step-up.
– Consistency matters more than amount.
– Missed months reduce compounding.

» Emergency Fund Before Education Investing
– Emergency fund should exist first.
– At least six months expenses recommended.
– This avoids breaking education investments.
– Emergencies are unpredictable.
– Financial shocks derail long-term plans.
– Stability supports discipline.

» Insurance Protection Check
– Adequate term insurance is critical.
– Child’s education depends on income.
– Insurance protects goal continuity.
– Medical insurance protects savings.
– Without protection, plans collapse.
– Risk management comes first.

» Tax Efficiency Perspective
– Education investing should consider tax.
– Mutual funds offer tax-efficient growth.
– Tax applies only on realised gains.
– Equity gains have specific rules.
– Planning improves post-tax outcomes.
– Tax should not drive decisions alone.

» Behavioural Aspects of Education Planning
– Market corrections will happen.
– Panic reactions harm long-term goals.
– Education planning needs patience.
– Annual review is enough.
– Avoid daily portfolio tracking.
– Trust the process.

» Role of Land and House
– House provides living security.
– Land is illiquid for education needs.
– Avoid selling assets for education.
– Forced sales reduce value.
– Education funds must be liquid.
– Separate assets reduce stress.

» Periodic Review and Rebalancing
– Review education plan yearly.
– Increase investments with income growth.
– Reduce risk near goal.
– Shift gradually to safer assets.
– Avoid last-minute surprises.
– Discipline ensures success.

» Child Education Milestones Planning
– School education costs come first.
– Graduation costs come later.
– Post-graduation may need larger funds.
– Plan for multiple stages.
– Avoid lump-sum burden later.
– Stagger planning reduces stress.

» Emotional Satisfaction Aspect
– Education planning gives confidence.
– Parents sleep better with clarity.
– Child benefits from better choices.
– Financial clarity improves family harmony.
– Less stress improves health.
– Planning improves overall life quality.

» Role of Certified Financial Planner
– Personalised planning improves outcomes.
– Risk comfort differs per family.
– Cash flow analysis matters.
– Goal prioritisation avoids conflicts.
– Periodic guidance improves discipline.
– Holistic approach protects all goals.

» Common Mistakes to Avoid
– Starting too late.
– Relying only on LIC policies.
– Using PF for education.
– Chasing high returns blindly.
– Ignoring inflation impact.
– Avoiding reviews.

» Long-Term Discipline Reminder
– Education planning is a marathon.
– Short-term noise should be ignored.
– Time corrects many mistakes.
– Discipline beats intelligence here.
– Patience builds strong corpus.
– Calmness protects decisions.

» Final Insights
– Your friend has strong starting position.
– Early planning gives big advantage.
– Child’s age supports growth focus.
– Mutual funds suit education goals well.
– LIC policies need careful review.
– Insurance protection is essential.
– Discipline and reviews ensure success.
– With proper structure, education goals are achievable.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |425 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
i am a 65 year old person at present working in a company as advisor with Rs.2,00,000/-month remuneration.My son is studying 1st year B.Tech.My wife is a home maker.I am having 2 apartments on my name worth approx.2 crores.MY wife is a single child to my in laws and i stay in my mother in law's house as my wife has to take care of her. I am having a plot which costs about 75 lakhs rupees.I am having PPF amount Rs,25 lakhs in my account and still account is not closed.I may be having a cash of Rs.20 lakhs approx.in various forms.I am havinga stocks porfolio worth Rs30 lakhs.I am giving you my MF sips in various forms.The MFs amount is to the tune of Rs.80 lakhs. Fund Name Category SIP Amount % of Portfolio Motilal Oswal Large Cap Fund Large Cap ₹15,000 10.3% Nippon India Large Cap Fund Large Cap ₹13,000 8.9% Total Large Cap ₹28,000 19.2% HDFC Midcap Fund Mid Cap ₹7,500 5.1% Edelweiss Mid Cap Fund Mid Cap ₹31,000 21.2% Total Mid Cap ₹38,500 26.3% SBI Small Cap Fund Small Cap ₹3,500 2.4% Nippon India Small Cap Fund Small Cap ₹2,000 1.4% Total Small Cap ₹5,500 3.8% Parag Parikh Flexicap Fund Flexi Cap ₹38,500 26.3% HDFC Focused Fund Focused ₹7,000 4.8% Mirae Asset Large & Midcap Fund Large & Mid Cap ₹2,500 1.7% Total Diversified Equity ₹48,000 32.8% Canara Robeco Multi Asset Multi Asset ₹1,500 1.0% HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund BAF ₹10,000 6.8% Total Hybrid / Debt-Oriented ₹11,500 7.9% Tata Nifty Capital Markets Index Sectoral (Financial Services) ₹2,000 1.4% Nippon India Banking & Financial Services Sectoral (Financial Services) ₹1,500 1.0% Total Sectoral ₹3,500 2.4% Total SIP amount is approx.Rs.1.5 lakhs / month . I am having monthly sips for SBI small cap,nippon india small cap, dsp small cap rs.5000/-each in addition to above SIPs.My total MFs amount is approx.rs.75 lakhs. Though i am not sure how many months my assignment continue, immediately there is no threat.at present my health only is the criteria to continue and i may continue for maximum of one year.MY wife also may be having cash in various forms to the tune of Rs.50 lakhs. This is my financial status. Kindly guide me for a better and remunerative planning.Best Regards.
Ans: Hi Nadakuduru,

Your overall assets are good but need some proper realignment wrt you what all you mentioned. Let us have a detailed look:

- Considering that you will work for a year or so, you need to have proper alignment of your current assets in liquid form.
- Close your PPF account upon maturity and park it in debt MFs.
- Direct stock investment is way too risky. Shift that amount in equity mutual funds to fund you when you stop working.
- Make a FD of 20 lakhs cash that you have for your emergency requirement.
- Your current SIPs are highly overdiversified and overlapped. A portfolio like this never gives a good return. Hence work with a professional to get a good portfolio.
A DIY portfolio like yours can break your overall investments. Do not do any large investments like these without proper guidance.
- Hence stop current SIPS and take professional's help.

Do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x