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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 27, 2023

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
TB Question by TB on Feb 14, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am 36 years. I have been married for last 5 years and we have a 4 years old boy. Though she was my girl friend during my college days, we broke up after college as we have many differences. Then I met with a girl who loved me a lot. During this period she too had some relationship but I never asked and tried to know about it. But finally in a film like situation I got married with my previous girlfriend as our families arranged our marriage. Day by day our differences are increasing and we dont have any love or respect for each other and just for the baby I am continuing my relationship. I miss the second girl too much every now and then. Since my marriage I have not in touch with her. But it is not possible for me to forget her. What should I do ? Please suggest

Ans: Visit a marriage therapist; you need couples’ counselling for sure. The marriage may have been a mistake, but now you have a child and you owe it to your son to at least try and make things work. Ultimately if there is a complete breakdown then you’re left with no choice, but try to salvage things first. And for that you’ll have to put aside all notions about your ex. At least for the present.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1350 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
To start with i live abroad . I was married in 2009 with 1 kid and divorced later in year 2017 abroad only as i got into a new love relationship and married after 1 yr with no kids my present wife knows about my past and moreover we trying to have baby but due to medical conditions and diabetic myself unable and have to hear negative things she is working well and independent but due to all this i befriended another girl and had developed a feeling towards her and had relationship with her as well she knows about that i am married but cant leave my gf want to marry her we had good communication as well between us but at times we fight due to issues that i am married still not divorced and moreover she doesnot know about my 1st marriage either sometimes i feel embrassing whag ppl will think of me i am tired of my life being the only child of my mom i cant do anything as she is too old 85 yrs and heart patient. I am 42 currently married with wife 41 yrs age but seems lost interest in her and often fight shd doesnt live with me as i am away for 3 years and goes home 1 a year. The new gf is 35 yrs old but dont want to lose her we have been to nany trips together in about 5 to 6 countries . I am having mentally stress what to do sometimes feel to end up my life
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I don't mean to sound judgemental here...but what exactly are you stressed about? You seem to be hopping about from one relationship to another without working on things when they get stressful.
Did it occur to you that when things sour between two people that it is possible with some effort to work on things? The answer does not lie in running away and jump into the arms of another women.
There's a clear pattern of possible 'escapism' when things get uncomfortable...So, STOP and reevaluate what you are running from, what comfort do you run towards and how is this actually helping your mental state...
Do the right thing for yourself and your wife...take care of your marriage first before jumping into another relationship; you will only find something wrong with that as well...So, please STOP and check what exactly is happening...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1350 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello madam I a 32 year old married man with a kid , who is 6 years old. I have done arrange marriage with my own decision I agreed to my parents for the marrige at that time I was in a casual relationship with a girl I didn't said anything to the girl and get married to someone else. After that I tried to live a happay life with my wife without thinking about the girl whom I left behind, from outside I tried to be happy with my wife but my wife thought doesn't matches with me so I felt so disturbed from inside. Still I was trying to continue the relationship for sake of our child but suddenly I got my ex love contact and I was so happy that after so long time I got a chance to talk to her, I have tried to meet her but she always refused to meet me because she was in a relationship. I tried many times and due to some misconduct I again lost her for the second time. At this moment when she is not with me her thoughts memories are troubling me so much I am in pain, what am I suppose to do to get rid of the pain?? Please help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no point wanting a 'past' relationship just because you have one...what if that relationship did not exist, you would have possibly made efforts to make your marriage work, right?
Then do just that...DO NOT treat your marriage as an option...which marriage is a perfect one? And are all spouses tailor-made to fit one another?
So, if her thoughts don't match with yours, then even yours don't match with hers...so, should she also think of jumping into some other relationship. Please act mature about this especially with a child in the entire equation; try and understand each other...speak about your differences and find ways of working on them by accepting them. Ex-love etc looks all very nice, but come down to ground reality; please...work on your marriage!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7204 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2024Hindi
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Money
I m 44 looking for retirement at 50 current portfolio 1 cr in mf ,1 cr in pms , 20 lac in ppf ,60 lac in fd and have one real estate asset of 2cr which i will sell in next 6 years and settle at home loan of 65 lac Please suggest strategy for future expense on 2 lac per month
Ans: Your portfolio showcases disciplined investments:

Rs. 1 crore in mutual funds.

Rs. 1 crore in PMS.

Rs. 20 lakh in PPF.

Rs. 60 lakh in fixed deposits.

A real estate asset worth Rs. 2 crore to be sold in 6 years.

A home loan liability of Rs. 65 lakh.

You aim for Rs. 2 lakh monthly expenses post-retirement at 50.

This diversified portfolio indicates a strong foundation. Let us optimise it for sustained income and financial stability.

Key Priorities
Generating a stable income post-retirement.

Protecting against inflation and rising costs.

Ensuring liquidity and tax efficiency.

Preparing for contingencies, such as medical expenses.

Strategy for Future Expenses
Step 1: Use Real Estate Sale Proceeds Strategically
Selling the property in six years will generate Rs. 2 crore.

Pay off the home loan of Rs. 65 lakh to become debt-free.

Invest the remaining Rs. 1.35 crore in instruments providing monthly cash flow.

Consider options like SWPs from mutual funds and balanced allocation.

Step 2: Strengthen Mutual Fund Investments
Diversify across large-cap, mid-cap, and balanced advantage categories.

Continue holding actively managed funds for long-term growth.

Use a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for advice on optimising fund selection.

Prioritise regular funds through an MFD with CFP credentials over direct plans.

Step 3: Redeploy PMS Investments
Evaluate the performance of your PMS portfolio.

PMS often has high fees and limited flexibility.

Move funds to mutual funds for better cost efficiency and liquidity.

Allocate to equity mutual funds for higher long-term growth potential.

Step 4: Optimise PPF and Fixed Deposit Holdings
Continue PPF contributions for tax-free, stable returns.

PPF is a low-risk asset and complements equity investments.

Fixed deposits should be reduced to avoid overexposure to low-yield instruments.

Reinvest part of the FD corpus into debt mutual funds for better returns and tax efficiency.

Step 5: Create an Emergency Fund
Set aside Rs. 10-12 lakh as an emergency fund.

Use a mix of liquid funds and high-interest savings accounts for this purpose.

This fund should cover unexpected expenses like medical emergencies or sudden repairs.

Step 6: Plan for Retirement Income
Invest in a systematic withdrawal plan (SWP) for steady income.

Use Rs. 2 crore from mutual funds and PMS, allocating for growth and stability.

Ensure a mix of equity and debt for inflation-adjusted returns.

Focus on capital preservation while generating income.

Addressing Inflation
Inflation will erode Rs. 2 lakh’s purchasing power over time.

Invest in equity and balanced funds for long-term growth.

Review investments every year to rebalance based on inflation trends.

Tax Efficiency
Mutual fund capital gains attract taxes as per the new rules.

Equity mutual funds: LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

Debt mutual funds taxed as per your income tax slab.

PPF is tax-free and should remain untouched till maturity.

Strategise withdrawals to minimise tax liability.

Healthcare and Insurance Planning
Assess your existing health insurance.

Upgrade your coverage if needed, keeping future medical inflation in mind.

Build a dedicated healthcare corpus.

Consider critical illness coverage for additional protection.

Retirement Lifestyle Adjustments
Maintain a lifestyle matching your retirement income.

Control discretionary spending to extend the portfolio's longevity.

Track expenses and ensure spending stays within the planned budget.

Final Insights
Your existing portfolio reflects strong savings discipline.

Focus on reallocating low-return assets to higher-yield investments.

Plan withdrawals and investments for tax efficiency and inflation protection.

Regular reviews with a Certified Financial Planner will ensure alignment with goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |229 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello sir /madam Kindly advice for my son who has completed Btech with specialization in big data from SRM University with 8.1 cgpa in 2023 Last year in jan 2023 he did 1 internship for 3 months in cognizant which was through college placement, but they didn't call him for regular job after completion of internship though it was internship leading to placement program Then he was also selected in tcs ninja program through college placement itself and they provided him ilp training in trivandrum for 2.5 months but he couldn't clear their PRA test and was asked to resign from the company Ever since he has passed his graduation, he has been trying to get offcampus placement also but somehow he doesn't get selected Sometimes he is out after GD round ,sometimes after 1 or 2 rounds ,he doesn't get any answer from the concerned company Hence he is unemployed till now I am worried about his career, can you please guide as to what should he do to get placed soon Thanks
Ans: I think repeated failure enhanced his stress level and second thing is 24 X7 discussion about placement in home. Let him relax for seven days. You and other family members don't discuss about his placement hence onward. Let him improve his communication skill and see the style of giving a good interview from you tube videos. The most important thing is let him appear for the next interview very boldly with zero hope. That zero hope and boldness will bring a positive result. Apart from REDIFF GURU I do global counselling through social media. So be rest assured this medicine will work. Best of luck to your son. Just follow me. GOD BLESS HIM. Professor..................................:)

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Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |229 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 24, 2024Hindi
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Career
My daughter Passed out 9.5gpa and was offered job with TCS and Tech Mahindra almost few weeks apart from each other in the month of July end 2024 and offer was given for TCS in July first week and Tch Mahendra in end July,but tech Mahindra followed up with Joining letter immediately,but my daughter choosed TCS it has been three months since but no Joining letter received,2weeks back was asked to attend an exam which she undertook ,why so much delay by TCS? Was it a wrong decision to let go off Tech Mahindra?Pls reply also suggest what to do now? should we wait or look out elsewhere?
Ans: Yes. Certainly it was a wrong decision. A bird in hand is worth than two birds in bush. She must have accepted the offer of Tech Mahindra, After selection why TCS is again taking test? This is not ethical. But now if she approaches Tech Mahindra probably she won't get a response. So try elsewhere. Mind that DECISION DECIDES DESTINY. If your decision is wrong you are bound to fail. So no more lamenting over the spilt milk. In future take correct decision. Secondly her GPA is too high. Many times organizations don't select very high GPA candidates, because their stability becomes a question mark. Due to very high GPA they never become satisfied with any job. They always think they are underpaid and deserve more. Please keep one thing in mind once you join a job your GPA becomes dead, then your performance will decide your future prospects. Just follow me. Best of luck to her. GOD BLESS HER. Professor................:)

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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