I had my first boyfriend, we were together for 3 years and had physical relationship but he was cheating on me and he did not want to marry me, so I distanced myself from him and after some time a boy liked me and fell in love with me He knows every single detail about my past, even about some physical relations, still he loved me but now when I am in a relationship with him, he keeps bringing up my past again and again and says that I am not able to forget him. Ab m kya karu mujhe kuch smjh nhi aa rha h

Ans: Dear Dipanwita,
And you want to live a life filled with fear? Fear is what makes these boys/men do more of this bullying and blackmailing. Kindly report the matter to your family (with no fear). Yes, they might be upset with you for being in a relationship but surely they will support you to protect you.
If they don't approach a female relative who can guide you to an NGO, who will help you with the police complaint.
Keep a record of all his threatening messages on your phone/email/text chats etc. This can help the police nail him as well. Do not threaten him back but collect enough information as he threatens and blackmails you. It is time to put an end to this. So instead of jumping into another relationship, please end the previous one. And please, give yourself a break to find your happiness within you rather than moving from one to the other. I say this only because one has messed with your mind with fear and this needs to be removed. Be strong and focus on yourself. You owe a peaceful and happy life to yourself!

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whether you want to forgive him or not is your decision. But I would wonder if he has confessed all of it. The risk of carrying infections from visiting these places is heavy; so before jumping into any physical act with him, do suggest to him that he gets himself tested. He may oppose it, but be firm on it.
You love him and that's all okay...But is he in love with you OR is he wants to be with you because his family is involved as well?

What is a red flag is the fact that he was still visiting red light areas while he was in a relationship with you. Do you not want to know why? Do you not want to know what makes him beg for your forgiveness now? Till such time that you are satisfied and you can trust him again, do not act in a hurry.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how conflicted you must be feeling right now, and I am sorry that you are going through this. I wish I could tell you what would be the right thing to do, but it has to be your decision and yours alone. All I can suggest is to take a beat and not rush into deciding anything.

Take everything into consideration-
On the one hand, infidelity is indeed unacceptable in a relationship. But on the other, it was in the initial stage. He might not have been as serious about the relationship as you during those days. Nevertheless, the timing does not make his action justifiable. I suggest you have an open conversation and ask him why he felt the need to do this. Ask him if he did not consider your feelings. What's concerning is that he did not stop after the first time; he went back twice more. I am not judging his choice of location but the fact that he was in a committed relationship puts him in the wrong. Also, blaming it on peer pressure is inexcusable; this isn't something funny or trivial he did because his friends dared him to. Ask him to take accountability and understand that actions have consequences.

Take it one day at a time. Whatever you decide is okay. And if at any point you want to pick yourself over the relationship, I want you to understand that it is completely alright. You will feel like it's a selfish decision, but it isn't. Remember that. Please do what you need to help you heal from this.

Best Wishes.