Me and my ex were in a relation for almost 2 years. At first everything was alright. We were so happy, then he started demading private videos of me but when i denied he used to get angry and wouodnt talk unless i agreed. I trusted him blindly and sent a few as he promised he would delete them at once. Months kater when i randomly asked if he still got those videoshe confessedhe never deleted them. I was shattered and my trust was instantly broken. But i loved him so blindly i still didnt have the courage to leave. I couldnt face my parents after that. I felt i failed them. The vakues they taught me. I forgit everything for his happiness. When i finally got the courage i broke up but then he started calling me a cheater, a girl who played with his feelings, who got bored of him and a girl who has no respect. After a while he relaised his mistakes. Its been a year now. I still love him and miss hjm so much. I met him randomly once. He looked changed and said my departure has left him so devastated and he wants me back. He says hes changed. I dont kmow if i should go back to him or not. Whenever i talk to him i forget everything, but the moment the contact goes off i get panic attacks, i get reminded of the way he used to touch me wothout my permission and how he used to force me. He said he knows many girls who sends such videos to their bf. He said he confessed he still had those vidoes because he didnt want to lie to me. I suffered a lotbecause of him and i am still not over it. I still dont trust him. But i dont know why my love for hjm is so blind. Did i do the right thng by walking away? He is literally begging for another chance. I used to tell hjm how uncomfortable his touches and desires made me when we were in a relation, gave him many chnaces but he didnt care then. Now after break up he says hes changed a lot, he is more mayure now. And he wont repeat the same mistakes again. And he will gain my trust back. Should i go back to him? He said we will both regret if we dont give each other another chance, but i fear relationships now. My mind says to never trust again but my heart wants him despite what he did to me. Help me. Should i leave or stay? If i stay am i putting my mental health at risk again? Because i have heard rereading the same chapter doesnt change the ending. Help me please. Do i deserve someone better or should i give him a chance again? Is he worth it. I cant go through that pain again. I still feel disgusted about myself, ofhow ilet him crossmy boundaries even when i begged not to. What should i do?