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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |566 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2025
Relationship

I had engagement with girl in arrange marriage setup...all was good between us but after 4 months I discovered that she as also talking with her bf( 6 yr relationship )& met him once after engagement ..I read all chats & it seems that she had feelings for him. I confronted her now she say sorry, asked me to forgive & she is craving hard for me.I am not able to decide what should I do ....should I continue or break engagement

Ans: You entered this engagement with trust and the expectation of exclusivity, only to discover that she was still emotionally invested in someone else. That kind of betrayal can shake the foundation of any relationship, making you question not only her intentions but also your own ability to trust her moving forward.

Now, she is apologizing and asking for forgiveness, which means she acknowledges her mistake. But the real question is—do you believe that her regret comes from true self-realization, or is it because she got caught? People can crave security and stability, especially when they feel they are about to lose something, but that does not necessarily mean they have resolved their internal conflicts.

For you, moving forward requires clarity. Can you genuinely rebuild trust with her, knowing she had unresolved feelings for her ex even after committing to you? Can you let go of this hurt and believe that she will prioritize your relationship moving forward? More importantly, do you feel safe and respected in this relationship, or are you staying because of external pressures or emotional attachment?

Forgiveness is always possible, but reconciliation is a choice that depends on whether you see a future where this does not haunt you. If you decide to continue, she must show consistent effort, complete transparency, and a willingness to rebuild what was broken. If you feel this breach has damaged the foundation beyond repair, then stepping away might be the healthier choice. There is no right or wrong answer—only what aligns with your emotional well-being and long-term happiness.

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