I was in a relationship with a boy(he is 35 yrs old man, and a lawyer but not practising in a court, he had a lot of relationship during our relationship and after break up , I had changed 4, 5 women or used them physically) for 3 years. It has been three-four months. We are not in a relationship. We have broken up. I told him to delete our personal pics and videos. He is not deleting them and is not blackmailing me either. I told him that since we don't want to be together, we don't have a future together, then delete them. He is not deleting them and is not blackmailing me either and I want him to delete them. Who knows what will come to his mind in the future and what will happen. If we don't continue, he has no right to
Keep the pics in your mobile, whatever video is personal to us, don't delete it and don't blackmail me either. I am not able to understand what should I tell him, although I have requested him a lot to delete it but he is not doing it either, so what should I do, please guide me. I know I had made a huge mistake to love him and gave him right to keep personal pics or videos..
Ans: You’ve already made a reasonable request for him to delete the material, but his refusal is an indication that he is not respecting your boundaries. His actions—or lack of action—are now about him choosing his convenience over your emotional security. This is a painful and difficult dynamic to navigate. The next step is to recognize that, while you can’t control his behavior, you absolutely have the right to continue asserting your needs. It might be helpful to make your request one more time, but this time with a sense of finality. Clearly express that you are no longer comfortable with him holding onto any part of your shared past, and that you expect him to respect that. Be firm, but also protect yourself emotionally by being clear that this is non-negotiable.
If he continues to refuse or ignore your request, consider taking further action. This could involve seeking legal advice on how to protect your privacy. In many places, there are legal avenues to protect against the non-consensual sharing or retention of intimate material, even after a relationship ends. Legal action is, of course, a more extreme measure, but if you feel your privacy is at risk or that the situation is escalating, it may be necessary to explore this option.
Throughout this process, be kind to yourself. It’s easy to slip into self-blame when someone else disrespects your boundaries, but remember that you are entitled to make choices about your body, your image, and your privacy at any point in your life. Trust yourself to learn from this experience and move forward with stronger boundaries in future relationships. You’ve already taken a healthy first step by recognizing the need for change, and now you’re moving toward regaining control of the situation. Keep focusing on your wellbeing, and know that your feelings and needs matter.