I got news of death of wife due to Covid 19 in 2021 after long 6yrs of dialysis in differerent corners of India but no success of kidney transplantation. She was successful in buying 3BHK Flat in Posh area of Ranchi while making son IITian with Campus Placement job offer in Wells Fargo &daughter Technocrat with Campus Placement job offer in ??????? which she left for 42Gear &Mu Sigma. Both of them remained unmarried till life of their Mother&Grand Parent (???? ???? &???? ???? ) What should I do as Widow but proud husband &father afterfinishing M. Tech from IITDelhi with attempt for Doctorate from IITDelhiIITDelhi with long 32years of Industrial expeience after Campus Placement from IITDelhi?

Ans: Dear Shashank,

If you have been straightforward about your feelings for this woman and expressed the same and yet she has never reciprocated it even once so far, it might be because she does not feel the same about it. I'd suggest you talk to her about this. Instead of leaving it open-ended, like "I like you," and letting her react to it, be direct. For instance, "I like you. What about you? Do you like me?" Being direct would definitively fetch you some real answers. If she replies to your question, there you go; you have your answer. If she ignores it still, you can safely assume that she doesn't feel the same way as you do. Don't delay this; ask her as soon as possible. Stretching a relationship that ultimately leads to a dead-end will harm your peace and happiness in the longer run.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am very sorry for your loss. I can understand how painful it must be for you. And there is no doubt that you are lonely after losing one of the most important people in your life. Coming to your question, yes, it is completely understandable that you want company and you should look for a partner, but only if you think you have processed your grief and are ready to move on. Loneliness can make us rush things but it won't fill the void created by your long-term partner. So, keep this in mind before seeking another relationship.

If you think you are ready to accept love and you understand that one person cannot fill the space of another, I would say go for it. Why not? You have every right to be happy; after all, you have to live the rest of your life. About being skeptical about whether a new partner will be nice, it is always a gamble. But the trick is to have regular interaction and try to get to know them beyond the surface level. Have a long chatting phase before jumping into a commitment. The goal should not be to get married immediately, but rather to take your time and find the person who is most compatible with you and makes you feel happy and content.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well your kindness has been overused. Simply state this to your brother-in-law and your wife that you are not willing to do this anymore.
Drawing boundaries right at the beginning can build very healthy relationships wherein each of you realize that kindness cannot become a weak spot for the person showing that trait. Also, your brother-in-law has the perfect and comfortable financial cushion in you and will never try and look for a job that will pay him better.
Your wife might protest when you state your point of view BUT if she understands the financials, I am sure she herself will find a solution to this situation. Let her understand that her brother now needs to grow up and take on his own responsibilities.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Bibhanshu,
Thank you for asking a question to which I can only say that living without someone dear is difficult BUT with the right support system in terms of family, friends, work, social life...things start to become better maybe not easier.
Over time, you will start to learn how to keep yourself cheerful and bring new hope to yourself.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
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