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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 01, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Mahendra Question by Mahendra on Feb 23, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi I am 41 years old and divorced twice. I have married second time due to family pressure and emotionally, but the same has not been succeed because I was in love with my first spouse and our daughter. I have completed all legal formalities for the same and there is not any legal binding with anyone. I have one daughter who is 15 years old with my first spouse. After long time I realised that I am in love with my first spouse and my daughter. I never seen to my first spouse after divorce since 2009. But I used to go and meet my Daughter on her Birthday to wish with the permission of inlaws. They respect my Father and Sister. I got divorced from my first spouse due to my mistakes which have done unknowingly in 2008. I have written letter to my first spouse and my daughter to ask for sincere apology.Also they knows about my second marriage and divorce also. I am staying alone and my question is whether we will succeed if my first spouse will agree to reunite again with my daughter. Also need some tips to stay happily with them. My desire will fulfill if we reunite again. Need your advice . Thanks

Ans: Dear Mahendra,
It is unfortunate that you had to go over marriage twice to understand what could have been avoided.
Now, whether your wife from the first marriage also shares the same feelings of love and affection towards you cannot be assumed. She might have moved on in her mind and heart, so to build up a fairy tale life with her and your daughter may cause you pain.
Maybe instead of building stories, why not have a frank discussion with them (your daughter is old enough to be a part of this). Kindly keep an open mind as they may not be willing to reunite. If they are also willing to, then take things slow...Don't suggest them moving in with you and try and create the same environment like the way it used to be when you were married.
Time changes a lot of things and this must be handled with a lot of care and caution. Your ex-wife, will also be very watchful about all the things that have hurt her previously. So, be very patient with her.

But if the answer is a firm NO from them, kindly respect it and let it be...2009 is a long time ago and much would have changed in them and you; cherish what you have with them...focus on building a good relationship with your daughter. After all, you can't assume that one letter of apology will change their hearts.

Bring up the topic with your ex-wife, but be prepared for an answer either way.

Best wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |955 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 03, 2023

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I'M 40 years old man, i have had troubled childhood. I faced abuse from my elder brother who later on developed mental health issues whiich broughg lot of stress to the family. I worked very hard to achieve reasonable professional success but my personal life has been very difficult. I got married with lot of difficulty despite being well placed professionally and decent looks. It was an arranged marriage but things went bad after a year. I caught my wife having an affair with her ex but i fogave her for the sake of myndaugher who was just 1 year old then. She keept on having flings with gym instructor and later on her colleagues which i dont have any proof of. She would humilate me in front of my maid driver and other people. But i wanted ti save my marriage for the sake of my daughter who was only 4-5 years old then. Finally she started asking me for divorce after every trivial fights. Fed up i finally agreed and we separated in 2021 November. During that time i came in contact with my school friend. She proposed to me during our school days but due to stress at home and other issues i said no but i always liked her. When we started talking around December 2021 and we realized we still love each other after 20 years. But problem was though i was divorced she was still married and she is from a different religion. She is trying hard to get separated from her husband but her family being very conservative is not allowing her to do so. I'm stuck with her emotionally. Now my ex-wife has started approaching me for reconciliation. Im totally confused now what should i do? Should i wait for my friend knowing that chances are very slim that her family would leave her. Or should i patch up with my exwife for the sake of my daughter. I dont feel any emotional connection with my exwife now as she was never nice to me. But my parents are telling me to go for patch up. They are nkt aware about my school friend and i doubt they would approve her due to religious beliefs. Pls guide me I'm totally confused. Thanks A confused Homo Sapiens
Ans: Dear Pratik,
At this point in time, choose neither. You need space to clear your head first.
Too many emotional situations to jump into one more...Give yourself time to figure out what is that you want out of life?
Do you want to get into another commitment in a short gap? It could be an attraction on a rebound as well; so take time to figure these things out well before you decide to patch up or wait for your friend.
You deserve this time off, to make sure that you not only heal from the marriage but also put things in perspective.
So no need to bring on a new confusion for the time being till you get strong enough in the mind to decide the next course of your life. Making a choice right now means you will be bringing in more confusions of either of the two women into your life as well. So, PAUSE and take this time...

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |955 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 23, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 19, 2023Hindi
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Madam, I am 61 years old , retired from Govt service an year ago. I have a problem in my family. Though my wife is a post graduate, she refused to take up any Job and wants all others including her in laws to give her money eternally. Misbehaved with my parents & sent them out of our house for their supposed conservative style and refused to allow my sisters family on a visit and quarreled with me on this ground time & again. She quarrels with me on silly issues loudly infront of kids. She reflects her mother`s attitude in dealing with my parents & relatives. Later She re-started her love affair with her ex lover . Fed up with quarrels at home and keep her away from unwarranted affairs, I decided to go abroad and took her also with me with our 2 daughters. There again, she started another illicit affair with my classmate cum colleague (whom i knew for 2 decades and i treated like a brother and was already married with kids). After 18 months of secret affair , behind me, they finally disclosed and wanted to elope leaving their families behind. Stunned by their ghastly betrayal , I sent my family back to India and also reported the matter to boss, who repatriated that Traitor back. I had to forgive my wife for sake of my Daughters who were aged 12 yrs and 9 yrs then. I am unable to come to terms with their ghastly actions though 2 decades have since passed. We sleep in separate rooms and I have no physical relation with her, ever since as our marriage is over for all purposes. I believe that mutual Trust & respect are the foundations of any marriage. Both are lost in our case. Now my daughters aged 31, 29 are Post graduates but are sitting idle at home wasting time in TV and refuse to do any job as their mother keeps telling them why should women work ?. They refuse to receive any external counselling nor willing to get married nor take up a job nor pursue any studies. They are financially dependent on me. I am now retired and live on Govt Pension. They refuse to understand the reality around them. They have no friend either in Relatives or in their college circles. What to do with their Intransigence? .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At 61, you look back and reflect; what choices have you made that has led you to be where you are right now?
Have those choices robbed you of your peace of mind and a better life?
If Yes, it still isn't late to rework and revisit those choices and make better ones.

But for that, this obsession with their ghastly affair must end. The more you are focused on the past, it becomes difficult to create anything beautiful for today and tomorrow. Yes, you felt hurt and were in pain, but to continue to feel the pain is a choice and that is only going to make you more bitter. Consider what is happening with your marriage; you might have to accept that this is the way it will be. If you are not happy with this, then think of what you want to do about it.

It's a good thing that you have begun to focus on your children. They seem to be in need of focus and direction. Since they are adults, it's time you gave them an ultimatum to find a job and move out of home. It sounds cruel, but at times, as a parent you need to do the right thing for your children. So, act NOW and without hesitation.
As for you, as you decide what you want to do with your marriage, involve yourself in social circles and hobbies, travel etc. It will give you a distraction and also a way to calm your mind to take decisions.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |955 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2023

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Hi Anu , This Raaj here this side, I have seen your views on the relationship here on this site . so for that I need your help and your valuable expertise . About myself I am 42 yrs self employed businessman ,I got married in march 2010, it was a arrange marriage . from the day 1 there is a problem and it increases day after day. From the that wedlock I had baby girl . from 2012 situation got worsened matrimonial cases started it continued for next 4-5 yrs . after long battle I got divorced in 2016-17. This divorce cost me a lot , bcoz of that I lost my friends , social stigma, financial lost ( hefty alimony)and lot other problem which are associated with this . Now the main problem comes here , as after my divorce I was not ready to get re marry again but my parents are pressuring mr to get settle again ASAP. After long persuation I said ok …. I started searching my own and parents also started there own . In last 4 yrs I have seen lot of prospects ……..( kissi ko main nahi pasand , kissi ko mera kamm nahi pasand , kissi ko mere parents ke sath rehna nahi pasand …….. kissio ko meri income se problem hai,……………toa kuch mujhe nahi jachi.)there is lot of pressure on me that I should be perfect now after my divorce . after all this I had few good prospects ………….1. she was good but she wasnot happy with my income , she said no to me initially but continued talking and we are still in touch as she moved to Australia in APR 2019.As now we r really very good friends now ,Jab main usme interested tha toa usne na boll diya ………but jab usne dubarra reconsider karke propose kiya toa maine na boll diya. Than in 2020 COVID hits which upsets everybody’s life .360degree . In NOV 2020 I met 1 girl on one of the matrimonial sites ….we shared our details stated talking to each other , she liked me but didn’t responded her positively but continued our talks………in march2021 pata nahi kaise aur kyu …..maine use propose kiya…… maine use milne uske passd gaya ……….we talked …..shared our thoughts ….spend good time ……..but raat ko ghar vapis aa ke maine use NO kar diya . REASON is not known ya kahu toa main darr gaya tha .because of this she also got upst and that makes her depressed. For next 10 days I was so depressed I didn’t had my proper meal ……nothing all. I was in guilt ,that make me depressed for really long . I was only thinking about her only all the time nothing else, On 2nd JULY 21 ko maine pher user message kiya ………. After 2-3 days after my sorry and all that we started talking again. Everything stated good again .now in last week of july 2021 my father got severe heart attack ……and he had a surgery . Now they are pressuring me again that I should get settle soon ……..all my family members and sister and all. Maine Phir usko marriage ke liye tyar kiya aur phir batt ko STOP kar diya . and this tym mujhe gharwalo se aur sab se bahut anbun ho gayi. Ab mujhe samaj aa rahi ki main kya karu . main shaddi to karna chata hoon par kissi pe trust nahi kar pa raha hoon . mere ghar valo ka mujh pe bahut pressure hai . there are some other problem which I would like to disscuss in future . pls help me what should I do , I m feeling helpless . Thanks Raaj
Ans: Dear Raaj,
What is it that you want?
You seem to ready to get into a relationship because your family thinks so, your father had a heart attack and then they pressure you to find a girl to marry.
So, what is it that you want and want to do?
And the possible reason for not striking a chord with the women that you were interacting with. When you have decided what you want, it will show up in your body language, facial gestures and within the conversation. You are possibly still healing from your divorce and are not ready to get into another marriage. So, don't. First, sort your mind out and then think of another relationship.
So kindly, start to think for yourself ignoring what your family tells you. Yes, you need to do that. Family pressure is no reason to get married; of course they mean well and care for you. But, what you want is what matters here.
So, if you want to stop feeling helpless, take charge of your life and do what you think is right for you. Heal from your divorce and think about what you need in another relationship and in your partner. When you ready, then it's time. So, no more helplessness, only strength.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |955 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2023

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Hello Anu Ji, Thanks for giving Your valuable time and Precious advice & feedback on my Question. I have no words to express my feeling that after so long somebody tried to understand me & my POV and above all helping in raising my moral & recognizing my ability in this messy and confusing state of mind. In your response you ask me to introspect few questions and tell u honestly I did that in alone . In those answer few were as clear as Crystal. But few of them confused me. I will be mentioning what u asked me to asked myself ……and what I have answer for that Questions. 1. - how will I keep my relationship with my daughter after my marriage? Answer :As in my divorce settlement she will be staying with her mother and since Nov2016 I have not seen her and not knowing nothing about her But praying to the almighty for the wellbeing for here all the time. 2. - am I carrying any fear/anger from the previous marriage? Answer: Yes, it is. There is lot anger, frustration which I have buried in the grave yard of my Heart . but the soul is still alive. its really very easy in words to say “MOVE ON”, try to forget the past , Forgive the person …. Let the karma do its course. It’s not easy ,when a person’s life has change 360degree.Madam ,since 2010 to 2017, I had face so much , u can’t imagine and I wouldn’t be able to describe. Those 8 yrs. are hell for me and for my parents. U know the saddest Part of this separation is who suffer the most after me is my Daughter . She & myself is and will be missing each other as Father &Daughter. After my divorce in 2017 , I have moved on so long in my life but there is something which dragging me back. 3. am I completely ready to commit to a marriage? Answer : this is the question which is annoying me, I’m not able figure it out . About my commitment , yes I am very much clear about this , I was, am & will be committed , to my relationship. But I have Trust issue’s. Right now I can say this only . Getting Married is just settling down in life is the core issue presently in my life ,not pleasing someone. I am not in that state of mind to please anybody as I am already seeking help to be Happy and in the search of the happiness which I lost .U know Time is great healer…….. & heal the biggest of the biggest wounds………but in the end leave with scar on ur mind for rest of the life . In the end , I would say I have a lot to share , lot to discuss , but there are some constraints. Hoping that ……I may have able to give You my POV to understand my current state of mind . Thanks R@@J
Ans: Dear Raaj,
Thank you for reaching out again.
You seem to have done your bit to reflect deeper which is amazing. Yet, with my experience of working with people on relationships, I can tell you one thing...
Never get into a relationship till you find the heart to trust again as trust is the only thing that will keep any relationship strong and that will happen only after the ANGER eases into something more useful. Is this possible, YES! Kindly seek the help of a professional who will help with this inner work on releasing anger and building trust. This person will be able to fathom your POV and guide you aptly.
Remember, the next person who you are seeking to engage with, will expect a person who trusts and loves; so, that's why heal from one before you get into another relationship. I am sure you understand this well.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |955 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 07, 2023Hindi
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Hi. I am 41 year male married since last 15 years. I have a 8 year old daughter. My relationship with my wife isn't great as far as I am concerned. She was busy with her job and raising our daughter and while doing so could not focus much on our relationship. Our physical interaction almost stopped after our child birth and since last 5 years we never had intercourse. I engaged myself in casual relationship with few colleagues of mine and life was going on like that. But in 2021 , I engaged myself with another female colleague of mine and with her , I feel like what I have never ever felt with any other woman. I can't let her go. I long to meet her. I feel sad when she is away. And it's been 3 years. She loves me very much and I love her too. My wife got a wind of it and now she is trying hard to make up for the lost time and efforts. My wife loves me too. I don't want to separate from her because though she wasn't a great partner but she did manage our house and daughter diligently. Moreover, I don't want my daughter suffer too. She deserves both her parents. So, I discussed this with my wife and told her that , I believe we can't be a great couple but we can at least be good parents. Allow me to spend some time with my female colleague and let's continue as we have been doing since last decade. But she is not accepting this. And I can't let my colleague go. I do love her. She also loves me and is not inclined towards settling with me as she is married too and has 2 kids. Kindly suggest what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is some sort of trend of stepping out of marriage when physical needs are not met within the marriage. It's the easiest way out!
Why is it so hard to figure out what is happening when one of the partners in the marriage is not interested in intimacy?
Why doesn't the other partner try to understand, accept and work with the partner who is struggling through something?
And this goes for the husband and wife and partners within a relationship.

It isn't something written in stone that sex 'MUST' be a part of marriage BUT it certainly is a pillar to creating a stronger relationship. So, why assume and go searching for it? Then you will have all reasons to justify why you did it and how your partner is responsible for it.
Now, you are in a soup with two women vying for your time and attention. And with children involved, things only get complicated. Yes, your wife feels that it his her right to be in your life and your question is: where was she all these years? My question is: why did you stop trying all these years to put things together?

My suggestion: As much as you want to be in the other lady's life, she is clear that she does not want to settle with you. You are also clear that you don't want to separate from your wife but you want her to accept the other lady. Doesn't it seem highly impractical to you?

Before you end up hurting someone or yourself, do what's right for everyone and especially the children. They don't deserve a set of parents that is confused. Good people who come into our lives can end up becoming good friends as well.

All the best!

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |3735 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 15, 2024Hindi
Money
I am a divorcee living with my teenager son. I am working as a teacher in a private school. My monthly income is 40,000. My son is pursuing for correspondence degree and side by side doing part time job and earning 12,000. I don't have any savings, health insurance etc. My humble request to guide me how can we start our savings now. I also want to buy health insurance for me without any more delay. Please guide. Regards
Ans: It's a privilege to help you with your financial planning. With some thoughtful strategies and careful planning, you can establish a solid financial foundation for you and your son. Let's break it down step-by-step.

Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
You earn Rs 40,000 per month, while your son contributes Rs 12,000 from his part-time job. Together, this makes a combined monthly income of Rs 52,000. Recognising this starting point is crucial for building a robust financial plan.

Considering your situation, it's commendable that you're keen on starting savings and securing health insurance promptly. This shows foresight and responsibility, which are essential traits for successful financial planning.

Budgeting and Expense Management
First, let's address budgeting. Tracking your expenses will help you identify areas where you can cut costs and save more effectively.

List Monthly Expenses: Break down your monthly expenses into categories such as rent, utilities, groceries, transportation, and other essentials. Also, factor in any discretionary spending like dining out or entertainment.

Evaluate and Trim: Assess each expense category to see where you can make adjustments. For example, cooking at home more often can reduce food costs. Small changes can add up to significant savings over time.

Set a Savings Goal: Aim to save at least 20% of your combined income. This would amount to Rs 10,400 per month. Start by saving any amount you can and gradually increase it as you manage your expenses better.

Prioritising Health Insurance
Securing health insurance should be your immediate priority. Medical emergencies can lead to substantial financial stress without adequate coverage.

Choosing a Plan: Look for a comprehensive health insurance plan that covers major illnesses, hospitalisation, and critical care. Compare different plans and their premiums to find one that fits your budget.

Covering Both: Ensure that both you and your son are covered under the plan. Family floater plans can be a cost-effective way to provide coverage for both of you.

Building an Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is essential for handling unexpected expenses such as medical emergencies, job loss, or urgent repairs.

Initial Goal: Aim to save at least three to six months' worth of living expenses. Given your current income, this would be between Rs 1,20,000 to Rs 2,40,000.

Saving Incrementally: Start by saving a small amount each month. For example, allocate Rs 5,000 monthly towards your emergency fund until you reach your goal.

Establishing Regular Savings and Investments
Once you have a health insurance plan and an emergency fund, the next step is to begin saving and investing regularly. Given your income, you can start small and gradually increase your contributions.

Recurring Deposit (RD): A recurring deposit is a safe option to start with. You can save a fixed amount every month, which earns interest over time. This is suitable for short-term goals and offers liquidity.

Mutual Funds: Mutual funds are an effective way to grow your wealth over the long term. Choose actively managed mutual funds, as they often outperform index funds due to professional management and research.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Start a SIP in mutual funds to invest a fixed amount regularly. This helps in averaging the purchase cost and reducing risk. For instance, a SIP of Rs 5,000 per month in a diversified mutual fund can be a good starting point.

Evaluating and Managing Existing Insurance Policies
If you hold any investment-cum-insurance policies like LIC or ULIPs, consider their performance and charges.

Review Policy Details: Check the return on investment, charges, and insurance coverage. Many times, these policies have high charges and low returns.

Surrender and Reinvest: If the policies are not yielding satisfactory returns, consider surrendering them. Reinvest the proceeds into more efficient instruments like mutual funds for better growth and separate term insurance for adequate coverage.

Planning for Long-term Goals
Setting long-term financial goals will provide direction and motivation to your saving and investment efforts.

Child’s Education: With your son pursuing a correspondence degree, consider his future educational aspirations. Start a dedicated investment for this goal, like a mutual fund SIP, to build a corpus over time.

Retirement Planning: Even though you may have several years until retirement, it's never too early to start. Look into retirement-focused mutual funds or pension schemes that can provide a steady income post-retirement.

Avoiding Common Pitfalls
It's important to be aware of common financial mistakes and how to avoid them.

High-interest Debt: Avoid taking on high-interest debt like personal loans or credit card debt. If you already have such debts, prioritise paying them off as soon as possible.

Investing without Knowledge: Invest only in products you understand. Take time to educate yourself about various investment options and their risks.

Over-diversification: While diversification is key to reducing risk, over-diversification can dilute returns. Choose a balanced portfolio with a mix of equity and debt based on your risk tolerance.

Seeking Professional Guidance
While self-education and disciplined saving are crucial, consulting a certified financial planner can provide personalised advice.

Professional Advice: A CFP can help you create a tailored financial plan, optimise your investments, and ensure you stay on track to meet your goals.

Regular Review: Schedule regular reviews with your financial planner to assess your progress and make necessary adjustments.

Final Insights
Your willingness to start saving and securing health insurance is a commendable step towards financial stability. By budgeting effectively, prioritising health insurance, building an emergency fund, and investing wisely, you can create a secure financial future for yourself and your son. Remember, every small step counts, and consistency is key. With careful planning and disciplined execution, you will achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |3735 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 15, 2024Hindi
Money
My so got 78 percent in ISC and he wants to do BTech computer science but I am private teacher, I unable to afford him for financial so kindly suggest me ,what I should do
Ans: Understanding Your Situation
Raising children is a rewarding but challenging journey, especially when financial constraints are present. Your son's ambition to pursue a BTech in Computer Science is commendable. His 78% in ISC is a strong foundation, and his passion for technology can lead to a successful career. As a private teacher, your dedication to education is evident. However, the financial burden of higher education can be daunting. Let's explore various options to make this dream achievable.

Exploring Scholarships and Grants
Scholarships and grants are valuable resources for funding higher education. They are often based on merit, financial need, or specific talents. Encourage your son to apply for as many scholarships as possible. Many institutions offer scholarships specifically for students in computer science. Additionally, various government and private organizations provide grants that do not require repayment. Research thoroughly and apply to all relevant opportunities.

Education Loans as a Viable Option
Education loans are a common solution for financing higher education. Banks and financial institutions offer student loans with relatively lower interest rates. These loans typically cover tuition fees, books, and living expenses. The repayment schedule usually starts after the completion of the course, providing some financial relief during the study period. Ensure that you and your son understand the terms and conditions of the loan agreement.

Part-Time Work and Internships
Encouraging your son to take up part-time work or internships can help ease the financial burden. Many companies offer part-time positions to students, allowing them to gain valuable work experience while earning money. Internships, particularly in the field of computer science, can provide practical knowledge and industry connections. This experience can be advantageous when seeking full-time employment after graduation.

Choosing the Right Institution
Selecting a cost-effective institution is crucial. While prestigious universities are appealing, many lesser-known colleges offer excellent education at a lower cost. Research institutions with strong computer science programs that fit within your budget. Public universities and colleges often have lower tuition fees compared to private institutions. Balancing quality education with affordability is key.

Exploring Online Education
Online education has gained popularity due to its flexibility and affordability. Many reputed institutions offer online degrees in computer science. These programs often cost less than traditional on-campus courses. Your son can study at his own pace while saving on accommodation and commuting expenses. Ensure that the online program is accredited and recognized by employers.

Financial Planning and Budgeting
Effective financial planning is essential to manage the costs of higher education. As a Certified Financial Planner, I recommend creating a detailed budget that includes tuition fees, books, accommodation, and other expenses. Analyze your current financial situation and identify areas where you can cut costs. Setting aside a portion of your income regularly can help accumulate funds for your son's education.

Utilizing Education Savings Plans
Education savings plans are a strategic way to save for future education expenses. These plans offer tax benefits and help in accumulating a substantial amount over time. Consider starting an education savings plan as early as possible. Even small, regular contributions can grow significantly over the years. Consult with a Certified Financial Planner to choose the best plan suited to your needs.

Exploring Crowdfunding Options
Crowdfunding has emerged as a popular method for raising funds for various causes, including education. Platforms like Ketto and Milaap allow you to create a campaign to raise funds for your son's education. Share your story and goals with friends, family, and the wider community. While this may not cover all expenses, it can provide significant support.

Leveraging Family and Community Support
Do not hesitate to seek support from family and friends. Many families contribute towards education collectively. Relatives may be willing to lend or gift money for your son's education. Community organizations and local clubs sometimes offer scholarships or financial aid. Reach out to these networks for potential support.

Reassessing Current Investments
If you have existing investments, consider reassessing them to fund your son's education. Surrendering or liquidating non-essential investments can provide the necessary funds. For example, if you hold LIC, ULIP, or other investment-cum-insurance policies, evaluate their performance and surrender value. Reinvesting these funds in more profitable avenues can help maximize returns. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide clarity and direction.

Encouraging Academic Excellence
Academic excellence can open doors to more scholarship opportunities and financial aid. Encourage your son to maintain high grades and participate in extracurricular activities. Active involvement in coding clubs, tech competitions, and other relevant activities can enhance his profile. Strong academic and extracurricular records can make him a more attractive candidate for scholarships and grants.

Understanding Long-Term Benefits
Investing in your son's education is an investment in his future. A degree in computer science can lead to lucrative career opportunities. The technology sector is growing rapidly, with high demand for skilled professionals. While the initial financial burden may seem overwhelming, the long-term benefits are substantial. Higher earning potential and career stability can provide financial security for your son and your family.

Seeking Professional Financial Advice
Navigating financial challenges requires expert guidance. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized strategies for managing education expenses. They can help you create a comprehensive financial plan, optimize your investments, and explore funding options. Professional advice ensures that you make informed decisions to secure your son's educational future.

Exploring Government Initiatives
The government offers various initiatives to support higher education. Research government schemes that provide financial aid or subsidized loans for students. These programs are designed to make education accessible to all, regardless of financial background. Ensure that you and your son are aware of these opportunities and apply where eligible.

Emphasizing the Importance of Education
Instilling the value of education in your son is crucial. Emphasize that education is a powerful tool for personal and professional growth. Encourage him to remain committed and focused on his studies. Remind him that the challenges faced today will lead to a brighter and more prosperous future. Your support and encouragement are vital in his journey.

Exploring Financial Aid from Institutions
Many educational institutions offer financial aid to students in need. This aid can come in the form of scholarships, grants, or work-study programs. Research the financial aid options available at the institutions your son is interested in. Contact the financial aid offices directly to understand the application process and eligibility criteria. Securing institutional aid can significantly reduce the financial burden.

Balancing Work and Study
Balancing work and study requires discipline and time management. Encourage your son to plan his schedule effectively to accommodate part-time work or internships. This experience not only provides financial support but also helps develop essential skills such as time management, responsibility, and work ethic. Balancing work and study can enhance his overall college experience and prepare him for future professional challenges.

Leveraging Technology for Learning
Technology offers numerous resources for learning and skill development. Encourage your son to utilize online platforms, coding bootcamps, and free educational resources. Websites like Coursera, edX, and Khan Academy offer courses in computer science and programming. These resources can supplement his formal education and enhance his skills. Staying updated with the latest technological trends is crucial in the field of computer science.

Encouraging Networking and Mentorship
Networking and mentorship play a significant role in career development. Encourage your son to connect with professionals in the tech industry. Attending industry conferences, webinars, and networking events can provide valuable insights and opportunities. Finding a mentor in the field can offer guidance, advice, and support throughout his academic and professional journey. Building a strong network is essential for career growth.

Final Insights
Your dedication to your son's education is admirable. Despite financial constraints, numerous avenues can help make his dream of studying BTech in Computer Science a reality. Exploring scholarships, education loans, part-time work, and affordable institutions are practical steps. Effective financial planning, utilizing savings plans, and seeking professional advice can provide a solid financial foundation. Encourage academic excellence, leverage technology, and emphasize the importance of education. Your support and strategic planning will pave the way for a bright and successful future for your son.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |3735 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 15, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello sir, I have invested in multiple funds @20k per month, I have some 5-6 l in FDs and a home loan of 40k per month....I am a single mother my son is now 17 and planning to send him for his ug studies preferably with 100 percentage scholarship to Germany....I want to know how effectively I can manage well as I earn @85k
Ans: It's heartening to see your dedication to securing a bright future for your son and managing your finances effectively. As a single mother with substantial responsibilities, your proactive approach to financial planning is commendable. Let’s delve into a detailed financial strategy that will help you manage your income, investments, and expenses effectively.

Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
You have a monthly income of Rs 85,000, an ongoing investment of Rs 20,000 in multiple funds, and a monthly home loan repayment of Rs 40,000. Additionally, you have Rs 5-6 lakhs in fixed deposits (FDs). Your son, now 17, aims for an undergraduate education in Germany with a full scholarship.

Budgeting and Expense Management
The first step is to create a detailed budget. This will help you manage your expenses and allocate resources effectively.

Track Your Expenses: List down all your monthly expenses including groceries, utilities, transportation, and any other miscellaneous costs.

Categorise Your Expenses: Divide your expenses into needs and wants. Needs are essential expenses like food, housing, and utilities, while wants are discretionary spending like dining out and entertainment.

Evaluate and Adjust: Assess each category to identify areas where you can cut back. Prioritise essential expenses and find ways to reduce discretionary spending.

Managing Your Home Loan
A home loan repayment of Rs 40,000 per month is a significant portion of your income. Here’s how you can manage it more effectively:

Prepayment Strategy: If possible, make partial prepayments towards your home loan. This will reduce your principal amount and interest burden. Use any bonuses, increments, or the surplus from your FDs for prepayments.

Interest Rate Review: Regularly review your home loan interest rate. If you find a better offer from another bank, consider refinancing your loan to get a lower interest rate.

Investment Analysis and Optimisation
Investing Rs 20,000 per month is a good strategy, but it's important to ensure these investments align with your goals and risk tolerance.

Diversified Portfolio: Ensure your investments are diversified across different asset classes. This reduces risk and provides balanced growth.

Actively Managed Funds: Actively managed mutual funds can outperform index funds due to professional management. The fund manager's expertise can help navigate market fluctuations.

Review Performance: Regularly review the performance of your investments. Ensure they are meeting your expectations and adjust your portfolio as needed.

Planning for Your Son's Education
Sending your son to Germany for his undergraduate studies with a full scholarship is a wonderful goal. However, it’s crucial to plan for other potential expenses.

Scholarship and Funding: Research all available scholarships and funding options. Encourage your son to apply to multiple scholarships to increase his chances of securing one.

Living Expenses: Even with a full scholarship, there will be living expenses such as accommodation, food, transportation, and books. Estimate these costs and start saving specifically for this purpose.

Education Loan: Consider taking an education loan if needed. Many banks offer loans with favourable terms for studies abroad. This can cover any shortfall and ease the financial burden.

Building an Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is essential for financial security. It acts as a safety net in case of unforeseen expenses.

Set a Goal: Aim to save at least six months' worth of living expenses. This would be around Rs 2,50,000 to Rs 3,00,000 considering your current expenses.

Utilise FDs: You already have Rs 5-6 lakhs in fixed deposits. Allocate a portion of this amount as your emergency fund. Keep this in a liquid FD or a savings account for easy access.

Securing Adequate Health Insurance
Health insurance is crucial to protect against medical emergencies. Ensure you and your son are adequately covered.

Comprehensive Coverage: Choose a comprehensive health insurance plan that covers major illnesses, hospitalisation, and critical care. Compare different plans for the best coverage and premium.

Family Floater Plan: A family floater plan can be cost-effective. It provides coverage for both you and your son under a single policy.

Top-up Plans: Consider top-up health insurance plans for additional coverage at a lower cost. These plans act as an extension to your base policy.

Planning for Long-term Goals
Long-term financial planning is essential to ensure a secure future for you and your son.

Retirement Planning: Start planning for your retirement early. Invest in long-term growth assets like mutual funds to build a retirement corpus. Aim to save at least 15-20% of your income towards retirement.

Life Insurance: Ensure you have adequate life insurance coverage. A term insurance policy can provide financial security to your son in case of any unforeseen events. Calculate the coverage amount based on your financial responsibilities and goals.

Avoiding Common Financial Pitfalls
It’s important to be aware of and avoid common financial mistakes.

High-interest Debt: Avoid taking on high-interest debt like credit card debt or personal loans. If you have such debts, prioritise paying them off as soon as possible.

Over-spending: Stick to your budget and avoid unnecessary expenses. Impulse purchases can derail your financial plans.

Insufficient Insurance: Ensure you have adequate health and life insurance coverage. Under-insurance can lead to significant financial strain in case of emergencies.

Seeking Professional Guidance
While self-education and disciplined saving are crucial, consulting a certified financial planner can provide personalised advice.

Tailored Financial Plan: A certified financial planner can help create a customised financial plan based on your goals, risk tolerance, and financial situation.

Regular Reviews: Schedule regular reviews with your financial planner to assess your progress and make necessary adjustments. This ensures you stay on track to meet your financial goals.

Final Insights
Your proactive approach to financial planning is truly commendable. Balancing investments, loan repayments, and planning for your son’s education requires careful management and strategic planning. By creating a detailed budget, managing your home loan effectively, optimising your investments, and securing adequate insurance coverage, you can achieve financial stability and security. Regularly review and adjust your financial plan to ensure it aligns with your evolving goals and circumstances. With determination and discipline, you can provide a secure future for yourself and your son.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |3735 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 15, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi, i invested in multiple funds through SIP. I will stop the SIPs 2 or 3 years after and start with new set of SIPs from different fund house invest and discontinue this after 2-4 year. I do this activity in order to avoid continuous averaging in the same fund. So the continuous average may not grow as like only 2-3 years investment fund. Ex, I have Nippon fund, invested around 55k and stopped 2 years back now the return is 123%(within 5yr). Likewise my over all portfolio annualized return is 20%. So i want to know the way I'm investing is that correct, kindly help me. L
Ans: Reevaluating Your Investment Strategy
Your strategy of discontinuing SIPs every 2-4 years and switching to new funds is unique. However, it's essential to understand that stopping SIPs forcefully isn't always necessary. Instead, you might consider other strategies to optimize your investments.

The Importance of SIP Averaging
SIP averaging helps you manage market volatility by spreading your investments over time. This reduces the impact of market fluctuations on your portfolio. By continuing SIPs, you benefit from rupee cost averaging, which can lead to lower average costs and better long-term returns.

Assessing Fund Performance
Only discontinue SIPs if the scheme consistently underperforms compared to its benchmark or peers. Regularly review your funds' performance, ideally once a year. If a fund consistently underperforms, it might be wise to switch. However, if the fund performs well, continuing your SIP can be more beneficial.

Benefits of Stepping Up SIPs
Instead of discontinuing SIPs, consider a Step-Up SIP strategy. This involves gradually increasing your SIP amount, enhancing your investment without the need to switch funds frequently. Here are the benefits:

Compounding Growth: Increasing your investment amount periodically allows you to benefit more from compounding.

Inflation Adjustment: Step-Up SIPs help you adjust for inflation, ensuring your investment keeps pace with rising costs.

Goal Alignment: It helps you align your investments with your growing income and financial goals.

Implementing a Step-Up SIP Strategy
Implementing a Step-Up SIP strategy is straightforward. Here’s how you can do it:

Annual Increase: Decide to increase your SIP amount annually by a fixed percentage, such as 10-15%.

Income Linked Increase: Increase your SIP amount whenever your income increases, like after a raise or bonus.

Set Reminders: Use financial apps or set reminders to review and increase your SIP amounts regularly.

Evaluating Funds for Step-Up SIP
When choosing funds for Step-Up SIPs, consider the following factors:

Consistent Performance: Select funds with a track record of consistent performance over different market cycles.

Fund Manager Expertise: Look for funds managed by experienced and reputable fund managers.

Expense Ratio: Choose funds with a reasonable expense ratio to maximize your returns.

Benefits of Long-Term Investment
Continuing SIPs in well-performing funds for the long term has several advantages:

Rupee Cost Averaging: Long-term SIPs smooth out market volatility and reduce the average cost of investments.

Compounding Effect: Staying invested for the long term allows your investments to benefit from the power of compounding.

Reduced Transaction Costs: Fewer switches mean lower transaction costs and taxes, enhancing your overall returns.

Role of a Certified Financial Planner
Working with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide valuable guidance in implementing a Step-Up SIP strategy. Here’s how a CFP can assist:

Personalized Advice: A CFP offers tailored advice based on your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon.

Portfolio Review: They conduct regular portfolio reviews to ensure your investments align with your financial goals.

Tax Efficiency: A CFP helps you optimize your investments for tax efficiency, minimizing tax liabilities.

Managing Risk with Step-Up SIPs
Risk management is crucial in any investment strategy. Here’s how Step-Up SIPs can help manage risk:

Diversification: Spread your investments across different asset classes and sectors to reduce risk.

Asset Allocation: Maintain a balanced asset allocation based on your risk tolerance and investment horizon.

Regular Monitoring: Keep track of your portfolio’s performance and make necessary adjustments to stay on track.

Tax Implications of Step-Up SIPs
Step-Up SIPs can have tax implications, which need careful consideration:

Capital Gains Tax: Long-term and short-term capital gains tax apply to your investments based on the holding period.

Tax Planning: Collaborate with your CFP to plan your investments in a tax-efficient manner, optimizing your returns.

Aligning Investments with Financial Goals
Aligning your investments with your financial goals is essential for success. Here’s how to do it with Step-Up SIPs:

Short-Term Goals: For goals within 2-4 years, consider funds with lower volatility and stable returns.

Medium-Term Goals: For goals within 5-7 years, a mix of equity and debt funds can balance risk and return.

Long-Term Goals: For goals beyond 7 years, equity funds with a proven track record of long-term performance are ideal.

Final Insights
Your strategy of discontinuing SIPs frequently might not be necessary. Instead, focus on monitoring fund performance and implementing a Step-Up SIP strategy for better averaging and compounding growth. Work with a Certified Financial Planner to align your investments with your financial goals and optimize your portfolio for long-term success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |413 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Listen
Career
Hello i have completed b.tech in computer science recently i want to do masters in data science in france which university will be best for doing this course.
Ans: Hello Akash,

To begin with, thank you for contacting us. I am happy to know that you have completed your Bachelor of Technology (B.Tech) in Computer Science and aspire to pursue your Master’s in Data Science in France. As an answer to your query, I would like to let you know that a number of variables viz., the program’s particular focus, research possibilities, experience of the faculty members, as well as your personal preferences pertaining to location and medium of instruction, play a key role in selecting the ideal university for a Master's in Data Science in France. You would be glad to know that there are several prominent universities in France that are renowned for the excellent data science programs they offer. You can consider applying to Université Paris-Saclay, CentraleSupélec, École Polytechnique, ENS Paris-Saclay, INSA Lyon, Université Pierre et Marie Curie (UPMC), and Université de Paris.

When deciding on a university, I would suggest that you examine their websites, the course offerings, view the profiles of the teachers, and if possible, get in touch with alumni or students presently studying there in order to acquire firsthand experiences. Not just that, I would also recommend that you examine the prerequisites for admission, language competence requirements (a number of programs are in French, although some offer English-language choices), and possibilities for internships or partnerships with industrial partners. Remember that each university has its distinct strengths and areas of expertise, and thus, I would suggest that you match your hobbies and professional objectives with the course offerings.

For more information, you can visit our website: www.edwiseinternational.com

You can also follow us on our Instagram page: edwiseint

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Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |413 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

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Career
My daughter is doing PhD in ecology and wanted to pursue her career in outside country. Please advice.
Ans: Hello SURESH,

First and foremost, thank you for getting in touch with us. I am happy to hear that your daughter is currently pursuing her PhD in Ecology after which she intends pursuing her career abroad. To answer your question first, I would like to tell you that for your daughter, pursuing an ecological profession overseas can be a fulfilling choice. As the first step, I would recommend that your daughter investigates institutions and organizations in countries renowned for robust ecological research programs, viz., Australia, the USA, Canada, or European nations viz., the Netherlands, Sweden, and Germany. Bear in mind that networking is essential, and for the same I would suggest that she participates in international conferences, joins professional organizations, and interacts with experts in her field. Your daughter can also think about aplying for postdoctoral jobs that can offer invaluable experience and assist her in buiding a professional network in a foreign nation.

Moreover, your daughter should learn about the particular prerequisites and prospects in the countries she’s considering. This entails acquainting herself with visa guidelines, possibilities for funding, and labor market trends. To further help her relocate, she can also apply for scholarships, bursaries, and fellowships from universities and international organizations. Furthermore, I would like to tell you that acquiring good linguistic abilities, if applicable, and comprehending the host country’s cultural and professional standards will be beneficial. All in all, your daughter has a much better chance of landing a job in ecology overseas if she takes a proactive and thoroughly researched approach.

For more information, you can visit our website: www.edwiseinternational.com

You can also follow us on our Instagram page: edwiseint

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |3735 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Money
Thank you for answering my query and appreciate for your perfect analysis. My another question in continuation, is my allocation of 4000 in Small cap; 3000 in Midcap & 2000 in large cap is the right combination for my daugter who is just 19 years old and earning 15K stipend with any financial burden or obligations? Please note: In case of any point of time, if she unble to meet her SIP for sometime 6-8 months due to her studies ( I can fill the gaps ).
Ans: Thank you for your appreciation and kind words. It's wonderful to see your dedication to your daughter's financial future. Let's delve deeper into your question about the allocation strategy for her investments and address the concerns regarding potential gaps in SIP contributions due to her studies.

Assessing the Allocation Strategy
Small Cap Funds: Rs 4,000/Month
Growth Potential: Small cap funds have the potential for significant growth due to their exposure to emerging companies. These companies often have higher growth rates compared to larger, more established firms.

Risks: However, small cap funds are also highly volatile. Their performance can fluctuate significantly in the short term. Given her young age, she can afford to take on this risk for the potential of higher returns.

Mid Cap Funds: Rs 3,000/Month
Balanced Growth: Mid cap funds offer a balance between growth and stability. These funds invest in companies that are past the initial growth phase but still have significant growth potential.

Moderate Risk: Mid cap funds are less volatile than small cap funds but more volatile than large cap funds. This makes them a good middle ground for balancing the portfolio's risk and return.

Large Cap Funds: Rs 2,000/Month
Stability: Large cap funds provide stability to the portfolio. They invest in well-established companies that are typically less volatile.

Steady Returns: While the returns from large cap funds might not be as high as those from small or mid cap funds, they offer more predictable and steady growth over the long term.

Balanced Portfolio
Diversification: Your proposed allocation of Rs 4,000 in small cap, Rs 3,000 in mid cap, and Rs 2,000 in large cap funds is well-balanced. It diversifies the portfolio across different market capitalizations, which can help mitigate risks and optimize returns.

Young Age Advantage: At 19, your daughter has a long investment horizon. This allows her to ride out market volatility and benefit from the compounding growth of her investments.

Managing Potential Gaps in SIP Contributions
Understanding SIPs
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs): SIPs are a disciplined way to invest regularly in mutual funds. They help in averaging out the cost of investment and instill a habit of regular saving.

Flexibility: One of the significant advantages of SIPs is their flexibility. Investors can pause and resume their SIPs based on their financial situation.

Addressing Potential Gaps
Temporary Pause: If your daughter needs to pause her SIPs for 6-8 months due to her studies, it won't negatively impact her overall investment strategy. Most mutual fund companies allow investors to pause and resume SIPs without penalties.

Parental Support: Since you mentioned that you can fill the gaps if needed, this adds an extra layer of security. Your support can ensure that her investment journey continues uninterrupted, even if she faces temporary financial constraints.

Long-Term Perspective: The key to successful investing is a long-term perspective. Temporary pauses in SIPs won't significantly affect the long-term growth of her portfolio, especially with your backing.

Importance of Regular Reviews and Adjustments
Periodic Portfolio Review
Regular Check-ins: It's essential to review the portfolio periodically. This helps in assessing the performance of the funds and making necessary adjustments.

Rebalancing: Depending on the market conditions and the performance of different fund categories, rebalancing the portfolio might be required. This ensures that the allocation remains aligned with the investment goals.

Professional Guidance
Certified Financial Planner (CFP): Working with a CFP can provide valuable insights and strategies. A CFP can help in monitoring the portfolio and making informed decisions based on market trends and individual financial goals.

Final Insights
Your approach to starting your daughter's investment journey with a diversified mutual fund portfolio is commendable. The proposed allocation of Rs 4,000 in small cap, Rs 3,000 in mid cap, and Rs 2,000 in large cap funds is well-thought-out. It balances growth potential with stability, making it suitable for her age and financial situation.

Understanding that she might need to pause her SIPs due to her studies is realistic. The flexibility of SIPs and your willingness to support her during these times will ensure her investment journey remains on track. Regular portfolio reviews and professional guidance will further enhance her financial growth and stability.

Your foresight in planning her financial future is impressive. By taking these steps, you are setting her on a path to long-term financial success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |413 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 08, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
My nephew is bachelor in arts with physical education having 50 % marks and is also a good gym trainer. He has special interest in body building also. He want to go to Australia or any other country for bright future. What should he do or for which couse/ country should apply. Pl guide
Ans: Hello,
First and foremost, thank you for contacting us. Given your nephew’s background in physical education and his interest in bodybuilding and gym training, he would have a solid foundation for further education and career opportunities abroad.
Going further, let me tell you that he can choose to pursue an additional bachelor’s or go further with a master’s degree in exercise science or sports management. Australia is known for its robust sports programs and high-quality education. He can consider institutions like the Australian College of Physical Education (ACPE), Deakin University and the University of Queensland. He can also consider pursuing a degree in countries like the UK or Canada.
Start by researching the program, making sure to meet the admission requirements, preparing application materials accordingly, and also considering scholarships. By pursuing further education abroad, your nephew can significantly enhance his expertise and career prospects in the field. Countries like Australia, the UK, and Canada offer exceptional growth and personal development in these areas.

For any further queries, please get in touch with us. We have a team of expert counsellors who can guide you through any concerns or questions you may have.

Website- https://www.edwiseinternational.com/

You can follow us on our Instagram page- @edwiseint

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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