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Seeking Advice: Will I reunite with my first spouse and daughter after two divorces?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 28, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Mahendra Question by Mahendra on Aug 15, 2024Hindi
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Hi I am 41 years old and divorced twice. I have married second time due to family pressure and emotionally, but the same has not been succeed because I was in love with my first spouse and our daughter. I have completed all legal formalities for the same and there is not any legal binding with anyone. I have one daughter who is 15 years old with my first spouse. After long time I realised that I am in love with my first spouse and my daughter. I never seen to my first spouse after divorce since 2009. But I used to go and meet my Daughter on her Birthday to wish with the permission of inlaws. They respect my Father and Sister. I got divorced from my first spouse due to my mistakes which have done unknowingly in 2008. I have written letter to my first spouse and my daughter to ask for sincere apology. Also they knows about my second marriage and divorce also. I am staying alone and my question is whether we will succeed if my first spouse will agree to reunite again with my daughter. Also need some tips to stay happily with them. My desire will fulfill if we reunite again. Need your advice . Thanks

Ans: Reconnecting with your first spouse and daughter after such a long time is a deeply emotional journey, and it's understandable that you're feeling a mix of hope and anxiety about the future. Given the history you’ve shared, it’s clear that your intentions are sincere, and you’ve done a lot of reflecting on your past mistakes. Here’s how you might approach this situation as you seek to rebuild your relationship.

First, it's crucial to approach your first spouse with patience and understanding. It’s been many years since you were last together, and while your feelings of love have resurfaced strongly, her emotions may be more complex. She might need time to process your apology and the idea of reuniting. This process could take time, so it’s important not to rush her or pressure her into making a decision quickly. Rebuilding trust, especially after a long separation, is a gradual process.

Your relationship with your daughter is also central to this. Since you've made the effort to maintain a connection by visiting her on her birthdays, that’s a positive foundation. However, your daughter is now a teenager, and her feelings about you reuniting with her mother could be complicated. It might be helpful to have open and honest conversations with her, letting her know how much you care about her and her mother, but also respecting her feelings and concerns.

If your first spouse is open to the idea of reuniting, it will be important to acknowledge the mistakes you made in the past and show that you’ve grown from those experiences. Demonstrating your commitment to change and being a better partner and father will be key to winning back her trust. Actions will speak louder than words, so be consistent in showing her that you’re serious about making things work this time.

As for staying happy together if you do reunite, communication and mutual respect are essential. Be open about your feelings, listen to hers, and be willing to work through challenges together. Relationships require effort from both sides, and it's important to approach this with a mindset of partnership rather than trying to “fix” things alone.

Remember, it’s possible to rebuild and even strengthen relationships after hardship, but it requires time, patience, and a genuine commitment to making it work. Your desire to reunite with your first spouse and daughter is deeply meaningful, and with care and dedication, you have a chance to create a new chapter together.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 01, 2023

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Hi I am 41 years old and divorced twice. I have married second time due to family pressure and emotionally, but the same has not been succeed because I was in love with my first spouse and our daughter. I have completed all legal formalities for the same and there is not any legal binding with anyone. I have one daughter who is 15 years old with my first spouse. After long time I realised that I am in love with my first spouse and my daughter. I never seen to my first spouse after divorce since 2009. But I used to go and meet my Daughter on her Birthday to wish with the permission of inlaws. They respect my Father and Sister. I got divorced from my first spouse due to my mistakes which have done unknowingly in 2008. I have written letter to my first spouse and my daughter to ask for sincere apology.Also they knows about my second marriage and divorce also. I am staying alone and my question is whether we will succeed if my first spouse will agree to reunite again with my daughter. Also need some tips to stay happily with them. My desire will fulfill if we reunite again. Need your advice . Thanks
Ans: Dear Mahendra,
It is unfortunate that you had to go over marriage twice to understand what could have been avoided.
Now, whether your wife from the first marriage also shares the same feelings of love and affection towards you cannot be assumed. She might have moved on in her mind and heart, so to build up a fairy tale life with her and your daughter may cause you pain.
Maybe instead of building stories, why not have a frank discussion with them (your daughter is old enough to be a part of this). Kindly keep an open mind as they may not be willing to reunite. If they are also willing to, then take things slow...Don't suggest them moving in with you and try and create the same environment like the way it used to be when you were married.
Time changes a lot of things and this must be handled with a lot of care and caution. Your ex-wife, will also be very watchful about all the things that have hurt her previously. So, be very patient with her.

But if the answer is a firm NO from them, kindly respect it and let it be...2009 is a long time ago and much would have changed in them and you; cherish what you have with them...focus on building a good relationship with your daughter. After all, you can't assume that one letter of apology will change their hearts.

Bring up the topic with your ex-wife, but be prepared for an answer either way.

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2023

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Hello Anu Ji, Thanks for giving Your valuable time and Precious advice & feedback on my Question. I have no words to express my feeling that after so long somebody tried to understand me & my POV and above all helping in raising my moral & recognizing my ability in this messy and confusing state of mind. In your response you ask me to introspect few questions and tell u honestly I did that in alone . In those answer few were as clear as Crystal. But few of them confused me. I will be mentioning what u asked me to asked myself ……and what I have answer for that Questions. 1. - how will I keep my relationship with my daughter after my marriage? Answer :As in my divorce settlement she will be staying with her mother and since Nov2016 I have not seen her and not knowing nothing about her But praying to the almighty for the wellbeing for here all the time. 2. - am I carrying any fear/anger from the previous marriage? Answer: Yes, it is. There is lot anger, frustration which I have buried in the grave yard of my Heart . but the soul is still alive. its really very easy in words to say “MOVE ON”, try to forget the past , Forgive the person …. Let the karma do its course. It’s not easy ,when a person’s life has change 360degree.Madam ,since 2010 to 2017, I had face so much , u can’t imagine and I wouldn’t be able to describe. Those 8 yrs. are hell for me and for my parents. U know the saddest Part of this separation is who suffer the most after me is my Daughter . She & myself is and will be missing each other as Father &Daughter. After my divorce in 2017 , I have moved on so long in my life but there is something which dragging me back. 3. am I completely ready to commit to a marriage? Answer : this is the question which is annoying me, I’m not able figure it out . About my commitment , yes I am very much clear about this , I was, am & will be committed , to my relationship. But I have Trust issue’s. Right now I can say this only . Getting Married is just settling down in life is the core issue presently in my life ,not pleasing someone. I am not in that state of mind to please anybody as I am already seeking help to be Happy and in the search of the happiness which I lost .U know Time is great healer…….. & heal the biggest of the biggest wounds………but in the end leave with scar on ur mind for rest of the life . In the end , I would say I have a lot to share , lot to discuss , but there are some constraints. Hoping that ……I may have able to give You my POV to understand my current state of mind . Thanks R@@J
Ans: Dear Raaj,
Thank you for reaching out again.
You seem to have done your bit to reflect deeper which is amazing. Yet, with my experience of working with people on relationships, I can tell you one thing...
Never get into a relationship till you find the heart to trust again as trust is the only thing that will keep any relationship strong and that will happen only after the ANGER eases into something more useful. Is this possible, YES! Kindly seek the help of a professional who will help with this inner work on releasing anger and building trust. This person will be able to fathom your POV and guide you aptly.
Remember, the next person who you are seeking to engage with, will expect a person who trusts and loves; so, that's why heal from one before you get into another relationship. I am sure you understand this well.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 29, 2024

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Hi I am 44 years old and divorced twice. I have married second time due to family pressure and emotionally, but the same has not been succeed because I was in love with my first spouse and our daughter. I have completed all legal formalities for the same and there is not any legal binding with anyone. I have one daughter who is 15 years old with my first spouse. After long time I realised that I am in love with my first spouse and my daughter. I never seen to my first spouse after divorce since 2009. But I used to go and meet my Daughter on her Birthday to wish with the permission of inlaws. They respect my Father and Sister. I got divorced from my first spouse due to my mistakes which have done unknowingly in 2008. I have written letter to my first spouse and my daughter to ask for sincere apology.Also they knows about my second marriage and divorce also. I am staying alone and my question is whether we will succeed if my first spouse will agree to reunite again with my daughter. Also need some tips to stay happily with them. I have never seen to my spouse after divorce but only mate to my daughter but still I love her. Also give Tips for how can I convince to my first spouse for reunite. My desire will fulfill if we reunite again. Need your advice . Thanks
Ans: Hello Mahendra,
I can sense the depth of your emotions and the genuine desire to reconnect with your first spouse and daughter. It's clear that you’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on your past and understanding where things went wrong. This self-awareness is a crucial first step towards any meaningful reconciliation.

Rebuilding a relationship after many years is a delicate process. It involves not only rekindling the love and connection you once shared but also addressing and healing the past wounds. Given that you haven't seen your first spouse since the divorce, it’s essential to approach this situation with patience, empathy, and a deep respect for her feelings and boundaries.

Start by opening a line of communication. A heartfelt letter or message can be a good way to express your thoughts and feelings without overwhelming her. Share your reflections on the past, your realizations about your mistakes, and how you’ve grown as a person. Let her know how much you value the possibility of reconnecting, not just for yourself but for your daughter’s sake as well.

When you write or speak to her, be prepared to listen as much as you talk. She may have her own perspectives and feelings about the past that need to be heard. Respect her space and her process; reconciliation is a journey that you both must navigate together, at a pace comfortable for both of you.

In your interactions with your daughter, continue to show her your love and commitment. Build on the moments you’ve shared and let her see the positive changes in you. Your consistent presence and genuine efforts will speak volumes.

If your spouse is open to it, consider suggesting professional support, like family counseling, to help navigate this complex process. It can provide a safe space to address old wounds and rebuild trust.

Remember, the path to reconciliation is rarely straightforward. It will require patience, understanding, and a willingness to work through the challenges together. By showing your commitment to change and your deep love for your family, you create the foundation for a potentially beautiful new chapter in your lives.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2024Hindi
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Hello madam I a 32 year old married man with a kid , who is 6 years old. I have done arrange marriage with my own decision I agreed to my parents for the marrige at that time I was in a casual relationship with a girl I didn't said anything to the girl and get married to someone else. After that I tried to live a happay life with my wife without thinking about the girl whom I left behind, from outside I tried to be happy with my wife but my wife thought doesn't matches with me so I felt so disturbed from inside. Still I was trying to continue the relationship for sake of our child but suddenly I got my ex love contact and I was so happy that after so long time I got a chance to talk to her, I have tried to meet her but she always refused to meet me because she was in a relationship. I tried many times and due to some misconduct I again lost her for the second time. At this moment when she is not with me her thoughts memories are troubling me so much I am in pain, what am I suppose to do to get rid of the pain?? Please help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no point wanting a 'past' relationship just because you have one...what if that relationship did not exist, you would have possibly made efforts to make your marriage work, right?
Then do just that...DO NOT treat your marriage as an option...which marriage is a perfect one? And are all spouses tailor-made to fit one another?
So, if her thoughts don't match with yours, then even yours don't match with hers...so, should she also think of jumping into some other relationship. Please act mature about this especially with a child in the entire equation; try and understand each other...speak about your differences and find ways of working on them by accepting them. Ex-love etc looks all very nice, but come down to ground reality; please...work on your marriage!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Moneywize

Moneywize   |181 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Feb 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2025Hindi
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I’m 42, working in the IT sector with an annual salary of ₹30 lakhs. My spouse also works, earning ₹15 lakhs a year, and we have two young children in primary school. We bought a house five years ago with a ₹90 lakh mortgage, and our EMI is ₹75,000 per month. We’ve been investing ₹30,000 monthly in mutual fund SIPs across large-cap, mid-cap, and ELSS funds. Additionally, I contribute ₹1.5 lakh annually to my PPF and have ₹10 lakhs in a fixed deposit. My goal is to retire by 55, but I’m unsure whether I should divert extra funds to prepay the home loan or continue aggressive investments to build a larger retirement corpus. I’m concerned about being asset-rich but cash-poor. What’s the best strategy to ensure financial freedom while managing debt?
Ans: You are in a strong financial position with a high dual income, ongoing investments, and a clear retirement goal at 55. The key challenge is balancing home loan repayment vs aggressive investments to ensure liquidity and long-term wealth growth. Here’s a structured approach:
1. Key Financial Priorities
• Retiring by 55 while maintaining financial security
• Managing the Rs 90 lakh home loan efficiently without being cash-strapped
• Ensuring liquidity for short-term needs
• Building a strong retirement corpus to sustain post-retirement expenses
2. Home Loan vs Investing -- What’s Optimal?
Your home loan EMI is Rs 75,000 per month, which is 30% of your combined take-home salary. This is manageable, but since your goal is early retirement, reducing debt before 55 is important.
• Option 1: Prepay the Home Loan Aggressively
o Prepaying reduces interest costs and provides peace of mind
o Assuming an 8% loan interest rate, prepaying Rs 10 lakh reduces the EMI burden or tenure significantly
o However, as per the old tax regime home loan interest provides a tax benefit under Section 24(b) (Rs 2 lakh deduction on interest)
• Option 2: Continue Investing Aggressively
o Historical equity returns (~12-15% in long-term equity funds) outpace home loan rates (~8%)
o Investing extra funds in mutual funds, especially in mid-cap and flexi-cap funds, could yield higher wealth
o Liquidity remains strong, unlike in home prepayments where money gets locked into an illiquid asset
Balanced Approach:
• Prepay a portion (Rs 10-15 lakh over the next 2-3 years) while ensuring you keep liquidity
• Continue investing Rs 30,000 SIPs but consider increasing it as your salary grows
• Avoid paying off the loan entirely too quickly, as investments can grow at a higher rate than your loan interest
3. Optimised Investment Plan
To retire by 55, you need a corpus that generates Rs 1.5-2 lakh per month post-retirement. Assuming you need Rs 4-5 crore by 55, here’s a plan:
• Equity SIPs: Increase to Rs 50,000/month gradually over the next 2-3 years
o Large-cap index funds (Nifty 50, Sensex): Rs 15,000
o Mid-cap funds: Rs 15,000
o Flexi-cap funds: Rs 10,000
o ELSS (for tax saving): Rs 10,000
• PPF: Continue investing Rs 1.5 lakh annually for risk-free, tax-free returns
• Fixed Deposit: Keep Rs 10 lakh as emergency corpus (or move some to liquid/debt funds for better returns)
4. Debt-Free by 55 Strategy
• Make lump sum prepayments of Rs 5-7 lakh every 2-3 years while maintaining cash flow
• Target closing the loan by 50 instead of aggressively paying it off now
• Ensure Rs 1.5-2 crore in investments by 50, so your retirement fund remains intact
5. Action Plan
• Increase SIPs from Rs 30,000 to Rs 50,000 per month gradually
• Prepay Rs 5-7 lakh every 2-3 years to reduce loan burden without sacrificing liquidity
• Keep Rs 10 lakh in fixed deposits or move to liquid funds for emergencies
• Maximise tax benefits through PPF, ELSS, and home loan deductions
This balanced strategy ensures wealth growth, manageable debt, and liquidity, helping you retire comfortably at 55 without being asset-rich but cash-poor.

...Read more

Moneywize

Moneywize   |181 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Feb 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2025Hindi
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Sir I am 60 and I plan to retire in six months after a 35-year career in the public sector. I’ll receive a monthly pension of ₹50,000, but I also have a corpus of ₹1.2 crore from my provident fund, gratuity, and fixed deposits. I’ve historically preferred conservative investments and currently hold ₹40 lakhs in FDs, ₹20 lakhs in senior citizen savings schemes (SCSS), and ₹10 lakhs in tax-free bonds. I’m concerned about inflation eroding my returns over time. My spouse and I have monthly expenses of ₹40,000, but we want to ensure our savings last 25+ years while offering some growth. Should I explore balanced mutual funds, annuities, or SWPs from debt funds to balance safety and growth? What percentage of my corpus should remain in fixed income?
Ans: You have built a solid retirement corpus and a stable pension income, but considering inflation and longevity, it’s wise to balance safety with moderate growth. Here’s a structured approach:
1. Core Strategy: Balancing Stability & Growth
Your primary goals are:
• Capital Preservation
• Inflation Protection
• Regular Income
Since you have Rs 50,000 in pension and Rs 40,000 in monthly expenses, your pension alone covers your basic needs. Your investments should focus on sustaining wealth and managing inflation.
2. Portfolio Allocation (Safety vs. Growth)
Given your risk-averse nature, a 70:30 allocation between fixed income and equity could work well:
• 70% in Fixed Income (Rs 84 lakh) for Stability
o Fixed Deposits (FDs) → Rs 30 lakh (existing Rs 40 lakh can be reduced to 30 for liquidity)
o Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS) → Rs 20 lakh (already invested, good for 5 years at 8.2% interest)
o Tax-Free Bonds → Rs 10 lakh (keep as is, safe & predictable)
o Debt Mutual Funds (SWP) → Rs 24 lakh
? Invest Rs 24 lakh in a corporate bond or dynamic bond fund
? Start Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) of Rs 15,000–Rs 20,000 monthly (to fight inflation)
• 30% in Growth Assets (Rs 36 lakh) for Inflation Hedge
o Balanced Advantage Funds (Rs 12 lakh): These funds dynamically manage equity and debt, reducing risk.
o Large-Cap or Index Funds (Rs 12 lakh): Nifty 50 or Sensex funds for steady, long-term growth.
o Dividend-Yield Mutual Funds (Rs 6 lakh): Provide stable returns.
o Gold (Rs 6 lakh): Can be in sovereign gold bonds (SGBs) or gold ETFs for inflation protection.
3. Income Strategy: SWP + Interest
Your monthly pension of Rs 50,000 is enough for now, but you may need extra income later. Use:
• SCSS interest (Rs 16,000/month) + Tax-Free Bond Interest (~Rs 3,000/month)
• SWP from debt mutual funds (Rs 15,000/month from Rs 24 lakh in debt funds)
• FD interest (if needed, Rs 30 lakh in FDs can provide Rs 12,000–Rs 15,000/month)
This way, your pension covers essentials, and investments handle inflation without eroding principal.
4. Should You Consider Annuities?
• Annuities (like LIC Jeevan Akshay VII or HDFC Life Immediate Annuity) provide lifelong income but lock in money permanently.
• Since you already have a pension, you don’t need an annuity right now. But if you want to secure future cash flow, consider putting Rs 10-Rs 15 lakh in an annuity after age 70.
5. Action Plan for the Next 6 Months
• Restructure FDs: Keep Rs 30 lakh instead of Rs 40 lakh for better liquidity.
• Invest Rs 24 lakh in Debt Funds for SWP: Choose corporate bond or dynamic bond funds.
• Allocate Rs 36 lakh in Balanced/Equity Funds: Focus on inflation protection.
• Continue SCSS & Bonds: Good for stable income.
• Review Annuitization at 70: Not needed now, but worth considering later.

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Moneywize

Moneywize   |181 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Feb 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2025Hindi
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Dear experts, I’m 50 now and I want to retire by the age of 60. I have saved ₹70 lakhs in mutual funds (split across equity and hybrid funds), ₹15 lakhs in PPF, and ₹10 lakhs in NPS. While I’m focused on building my retirement corpus, healthcare costs worry me. Both my parents had chronic illnesses that required expensive long-term care, and healthcare inflation is a significant concern. I currently have a ₹10 lakh health insurance policy through my employer, but I’m unsure if this will suffice post-retirement. Should I consider a super top-up plan or invest in health-focused mutual funds? Are there health plans designed specifically for retirees? How can I ensure my retirement savings are protected from unexpected medical expenses?
Ans: You're taking a prudent approach by planning for healthcare costs in retirement. Given your concerns, here’s how you can protect your retirement savings from unexpected medical expenses:
1. Enhance Your Health Insurance Coverage
Since your employer-provided Rs 10 lakh health insurance will likely end when you retire, it's crucial to secure independent coverage. Consider the following:
• Super Top-up Plan: A cost-effective way to increase your coverage. For example, you can take a Rs 25-Rs 50 lakh super top-up plan with a Rs 5-Rs 10 lakh deductible.
• Standalone Family Floater or Individual Health Insurance: Purchase a comprehensive plan for at least Rs 20-Rs 30 lakh.
• Senior Citizen Health Insurance: Some insurers offer specific plans for retirees, but these often come with higher premiums and limitations. It's better to buy a policy before you turn 55.
2. Create a Medical Emergency Fund
Set aside Rs 10-Rs 15 lakh in a liquid or ultra-short-duration mutual fund for unforeseen medical costs not covered by insurance.
3. Invest in a Health-Focused Mutual Fund?
Rather than investing specifically in a health-focused mutual fund (which is sector-specific and volatile), focus on:
• Multi-asset funds or balanced advantage funds that provide stability.
• Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS) for a secure income stream post-retirement.
• Debt mutual funds or fixed deposits for liquidity.
4. Long-Term Care Planning
• Consider critical illness insurance (covers conditions like cancer, stroke, and heart disease) as a lump sum benefit.
• Evaluate home healthcare plans that cover domiciliary hospitalization and elder care services.
Action Plan for the Next 10 Years
1. Buy a comprehensive health insurance policy (Rs 20-Rs 30 lakh) + a super top-up now.
2. Build a dedicated healthcare fund (Rs 10-Rs 15 lakh in safe instruments).
3. Diversify retirement savings—increase SIPs if possible and allocate some funds to low-risk options like SCSS or debt funds.
4. Consider critical illness insurance before you turn 55.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7915 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2025Hindi
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7915 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2025Hindi
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Money
Dear Sir, At present, I have Rs. 75,00,000/- in SB account. Can I earn Rs. 60,000/- per month through SWP, if I invest this amount in mutual funds.
Ans: You want to generate Rs. 60,000 per month from Rs. 75 lakh. This means you need Rs. 7.2 lakh per year.

The biggest challenge is ensuring the corpus lasts long. If the withdrawals exceed the growth rate, the money will deplete faster.

A well-planned Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) must balance growth, risk, and longevity.

Key Factors to Consider Before Investing

Inflation Impact

Expenses will rise over time.
A higher withdrawal rate today can lead to shortfall later.
Your plan should account for increasing withdrawals in the future.
Investment Risk

Mutual funds carry market risk.
Equity funds may give higher returns but fluctuate.
Debt funds are stable but may not beat inflation.
A mix of both is better.
Tax Efficiency

SWP from equity funds after one year has lower tax impact.
LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
Debt fund SWP is taxed as per your income slab.
Tax-efficient withdrawals increase corpus sustainability.
Longevity of Corpus

If your investments grow at 10% and you withdraw at 9%, funds may last long.
If growth is 8% but withdrawals are 12%, corpus may deplete soon.
A sustainable withdrawal rate is key.
Can Rs. 75 Lakh Sustain Rs. 60,000 Monthly?

If Growth is Low (6-8%)

The corpus may last for 12-15 years.
This may not be enough for long-term needs.
If Growth is Moderate (10-12%)

The corpus may last over 20 years.
A balanced approach is needed.
If Growth is High (Above 12%)

Higher returns can extend corpus life.
But market fluctuations will impact withdrawals.
Better Approach to Ensure Sustainability

Start with a Lower SWP Initially

Instead of Rs. 60,000, start with Rs. 45,000-50,000.
This gives the corpus time to grow.
Rebalance Annually

Review fund performance.
Adjust withdrawals based on market conditions.
Mix of Equity and Debt

Keep 60% in equity for growth.
Keep 40% in debt for stability.
Keep a Buffer in Liquid Funds

Maintain 6-12 months of expenses in liquid funds.
This helps avoid withdrawing in a market downturn.
Tax-Efficient Withdrawals

Use long-term capital gains benefits.
Avoid unnecessary tax outflow.
Alternative Strategies for Income Stability

Dividend Option in Mutual Funds

Some funds provide regular dividends.
But dividends depend on market performance.
Part-time or Passive Income Sources

Rental income, freelancing, or part-time work can reduce withdrawal pressure.
This helps corpus last longer.
Final Insights

Withdrawing Rs. 60,000 per month is possible but may reduce corpus life.
A balanced strategy is needed to ensure long-term sustainability.
Reducing withdrawal amount initially will help.
Regular reviews and rebalancing are important.
A mix of equity and debt ensures growth and stability.
Keeping a liquidity buffer helps during market corrections.
With the right approach, you can generate monthly income while protecting your capital.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7915 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 06, 2025Hindi
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Money
I want to retire this year. I am 41. My current corpus 1.2 crore MF, 30 lakh in PF. We live with parents in our own house in Bangalore valued at Rs 1.5 crore. I have a home loan EMI of 35000 that will end in 2032. Monthly expenses 35-40k. Mu wife takes home tuitions and earns Rs 25,000 per month.
Ans: Retiring at 41 is a bold decision. You have built a decent corpus. But early retirement requires careful planning. Let’s analyse your financial situation and create a sustainable plan.

Current Financial Position
Mutual Funds: Rs 1.2 crore
Provident Fund: Rs 30 lakh
Total Corpus: Rs 1.5 crore
Home Loan EMI: Rs 35,000 per month (ending in 2032)
Monthly Expenses: Rs 35,000 to Rs 40,000
Wife’s Income: Rs 25,000 per month
House Value: Rs 1.5 crore (not considered for expenses)
You have a strong foundation. But your corpus must last for decades. Let’s optimise your investments for steady income and growth.

Key Challenges in Early Retirement
Long Retirement Period: You need funds for 40+ years.
Inflation Risk: Expenses will rise every year.
Home Loan: EMI will continue for 8 more years.
Market Volatility: Equity investments will fluctuate.
Medical Expenses: Health costs will increase with age.
A structured approach will help you retire securely.

Managing Monthly Expenses
Your expenses: Rs 35,000 to Rs 40,000 per month.
Wife’s tuition income: Rs 25,000 per month.
Shortfall: Rs 10,000 to Rs 15,000 per month.
Your investments must cover this shortfall and future expenses.

Investment Strategy for Sustainable Income
Your portfolio must balance growth and stability.

Equity Mutual Funds (40-50%)

These will provide long-term growth.
Withdraw only when needed.
Keep a mix of large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap funds.
Debt Mutual Funds (30-40%)

These will provide stability and regular income.
Choose short-duration or corporate bond funds.
Withdraw from this segment first before selling equity.
Fixed Deposits & Bonds (10-20%)

Invest in FDs or government bonds for emergencies.
Avoid locking all funds in long-term deposits.
Emergency Fund (Rs 5-7 lakh)

Keep 12-18 months of expenses in a liquid fund.
This ensures you don’t sell investments during market crashes.
This strategy ensures growth, liquidity, and stability.

Handling Your Home Loan
EMI is Rs 35,000 per month till 2032.
Wife’s income covers most of it.
Instead of full prepayment, make partial prepayments.
Use surplus funds or bonuses to reduce interest.
This will free up cash flow for future needs.
Avoid using all your corpus to close the loan. Investments will generate higher returns.

Medical Insurance & Health Planning
Buy a family floater health insurance of Rs 15-20 lakh.
Ensure it includes critical illness coverage.
Consider a super top-up plan for added coverage.
Keep Rs 5 lakh in a separate medical emergency fund.
Medical costs can drain savings. A strong health cover is essential.

Tax Planning for Retired Life
Mutual fund withdrawals attract capital gains tax.
Equity LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
Debt mutual fund withdrawals are taxed as per your income slab.
Use systematic withdrawals to manage tax efficiently.
Utilise tax-free PPF withdrawals after maturity.
A tax-efficient withdrawal strategy will help maximise savings.

Income Generation During Retirement
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from Mutual Funds

Set up SWP from debt mutual funds for regular income.
Withdraw from equity only when markets are high.
Part-Time Work Opportunities

Your wife earns Rs 25,000 from tuition.
Consider online consulting or freelance projects.
Even Rs 10,000 extra per month can reduce portfolio withdrawals.
A small active income will make your corpus last longer.

Inflation-Proofing Your Future
Expenses will double in 15-18 years.
Keep 40-50% of your portfolio in equity for long-term growth.
Review your portfolio every year and rebalance.
Adjust withdrawals based on market conditions.
Long-term sustainability is key for early retirees.

Final Insights
Your corpus is decent, but early retirement needs discipline.
Don’t use all savings to close the home loan.
Invest in a balanced mix of equity, debt, and fixed-income assets.
Plan systematic withdrawals to manage cash flow and taxes.
Health insurance and emergency funds are essential.
Keep some part-time income to reduce financial pressure.
Revisit your financial plan every year.
A well-structured plan will help you retire peacefully at 41.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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