Home > Relationship > Question

Sign In | Create an account

Language:

Now in हिन्दी too

Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Seeking advice on juggling work, family and relocation: Mumbai vs Noida?

Kanchan Rai |401 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I have gone my job switch from Noida to Mumbai is banking industry. My wife works in IT firm Gurgaon require to go to office quarterly for 3 days. We have shifted to Mumbai and living in Kandivali east Lokhandwala township. I have daughter 2.5 yrs old we used to send her to playgroup in Noida which have live cctv camera access for parents. In mumbai, it is raining these days and playgroups don't have cctv access to parents. Also accomodation rent is high. Wife wanted to go to Noida and stay there with kid. They will hire maid also full time. My travelling time is also very high 2.30 hrs one side from office to home end to end. Struggling to adjust in mumbai. Because of small houses, playgroup quality, cultural issue , everything. We want advise whether we stay together in mumbai and how things are going or send family to Noida and i am shifting near by office in Lower Parel.

Ans: From a relationship perspective, it's crucial to balance the emotional and practical aspects of your decision. Staying together in Mumbai strengthens your bond and allows you to support each other daily. However, the high living costs, small spaces, and lack of quality playgroups with CCTV access can add stress, compounded by your long commute.

If your wife and daughter move to Noida, they would have a more comfortable environment and better childcare options. However, this means you'll miss daily interactions and could feel emotionally distant over time.

Consider moving closer to your workplace in Mumbai, like Lower Parel, to reduce your commute and spend more time with your family. Also, explore local playgroup options thoroughly, as you might find one that meets your security concerns.

Ultimately, prioritize what provides the most stability and happiness for your family. Open communication with your wife about your concerns and potential solutions is key. Whether you stay in Mumbai or consider temporary separation, ensure regular visits and communication to maintain your bond and stay involved in your daughter's upbringing.

RelationshipReply

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu Krishna |1293 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi, request you to give me some advise in a sticklish issue I am in.. i presently work in Gurgaon with a good stable job having good salary and perks / benefits.. I am married and have two kids (8 and 1 years old). My wife used to work initially but after the first kid had stopped working and used to freelance just to keep herself occupied and we never really relied on the money she used to make. Now she is getting together with some of her friends to start an business avenue in Bangalore for which she will have to be constantly at Bangalore . She keeps saying that she will keep travelling to n fro but sometimes she says let's just shift there. I am not averse to shifting but I work in a niche area for which there.is not much scope in southern India . At best. Mumbai is the next lucrative option.. my wife also says that she will take the younger one with her and also would prefer to take the elder one with her and get her admitted at Bangalore. Problem is i will be left alone. I want my wife to be happy and don't want to stop her though all the elders in the family like her parents are against it. I feel some how that stopping her forcefully is not going to keep her happy which will.only manifest into unhappiness for all of us . I hve tried talking to her about it but she keeps parroting that this is my dream and I want to do it come what may. So I feel like I am no longer a priority. Also I feel she spends more time on phone with her friends rather than with me though I also appreciate that a start up would need time and effort. Between i am 40 years and she is 3 years younger than me.. Please advise me what should I do and react. I am sometimes very lost these days. I have even had bouts of BP even though I am not a BP patient. I sometimes ask myself the question why did I ever get married. My life seemed fine before all these developments. I am really lost in this sea of issues. I used to feel that I have been blessed with a wonderful life by God , great family, job everything that this issue is loosing my sanity . kindly help and advise for heavens sake before I go into depression or something like that .

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's a lot of turmoil, I can agree...
Before making a decision, as a couple, here's a few brainstorming points:
- How are finances going to be impacted with two different establishments? (Mumbai and Bangalore are very expensive cities to live in)
- How is the baby going to be cared for while Mom is away working? (Start ups demand a lot of time and energy and the baby needs a lot of stimulation to have a steady growth; physically and emotionally)
- How will the older child cope with the shift, and live without having the Mom around? (Age 8 is too young to be able to fathom this separation and this can lead to anxiety related issues later in life)

Of course, you are being kind and being selfless wanting to support your wife's career, but separating the family at this juncture will have its side effects; not being cynical or judgemental BUT it's a fact that a family that stays together, prospers together.

The other option is: you shift to Bangalore OR she continues in Mumbai...Now, you will need to do the same exercise as above as couple factoring in how either decision will impact the other. But the huge gain is: The children will have their parents together at a tender age and focus on their childhood...

You win some, You lose some, right? Every decision will involve a fair amount of navigation to arrive at what's best!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ashwini Dasgupta |85 Answers |Ask -Follow

Personality Development Expert, Career Coach - Answered on Aug 09, 2024

Question by vigg - Aug 07, 2024Hindi

Career

Hi, request you to give me some advise in a sticklish issue I am in.. i presently work in Gurgaon with a good stable job having good salary and perks / benefits.. I am married and have two kids (8 and 1 years old). My wife used to work initially but after the first kid had stopped working and used to freelance just to keep herself occupied and we never really relied on the money she used to make. Now she is getting together with some of her friends to start an business avenue in Bangalore for which she will have to be constantly at Bangalore . She keeps saying that she will keep travelling to n fro but sometimes she says let's just shift there. I am not averse to shifting but I work in a niche area for which there.is not much scope in southern India . At best. Mumbai is the next lucrative option.. my wife also says that she will take the younger one with her and also would prefer to take the elder one with her and get her admitted at Bangalore. Problem is i will be left alone. I want my wife to be happy and don't want to stop her though all the elders in the family like her parents are against it. I feel some how that stopping her forcefully is not going to keep her happy which will.only manifest into unhappiness for all of us . I hve tried talking to her about it but she keeps parroting that this is my dream and I want to do it come what may. So I feel like I am no longer a priority. Also I feel she spends more time on phone with her friends rather than with me though I also appreciate that a start up would need time and effort. Between i am 40 years and she is 3 years younger than me.. Please advise me what should I do and react. I am sometimes very lost these days. I have even had bouts of BP even though I am not a BP patient. I sometimes ask myself the question why did I ever get married. My life seemed fine before all these developments. I am really lost in this sea of issues. I used to feel that I have been blessed with a wonderful life by God , great family, job everything that this issue is loosing my sanity . kindly help and advise for heavens sake before I go into depression or something like that .

Ans: Dear Sir,
Few of the consideration you may look at-

Have an open and honest conversation laying down the facts. Ensure the conversation is calm and composed and not pointing out at each other. Express you concerns, fears and impact that it will have on the relationships and on your mental health.

Explore compromises at both the ends that would work for you. For example- can your wife manage the business remotely for part of the time or could you both agree on a trial period in bangalore? Discuss how can you support each other's goal while maintaining each other's stability.

Consider your career and well being- If relocating to Bangalore is not viable for you professionally, discuss alternative ways to support your wife’s business venture while staying in Gurgaon or finding a middle ground.

Seek professional guidance- You may wish to consider a counselor who can guide you both and help come with a midway

Focus on the bigger picture- Analyses a bit who to see how you both can help each other.

At any given point of time if you feel overwhelmed then dont hesitate to take the professional help. Emotional and metal health is of utmost important.

Thanks
Ashwini Dasgupta
www.ashwinidasguta.com
Author of Confidence Decoded. Is it a skill or attitude?

Latest Questions

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay |111 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi

Career

Respeted sir, I am a post graduate in computer science, aged 42 yrs,married trying to get a job preferably in IT as i have working experience of about 5 years.i had discontinued my job due to compelling family situations to take care of children. I am not getting any favorable response from any IT companies due to break iny carrer. Now i desperately need a job and still the hunt is going on. Kindly suggest and guide me to get a job as i am struggling to meet my commitments now. Your valuable help in this regard will be highly helpful. Thank you

Ans: Dear, the main problem is the discontinuation in your career and IT is an ever-changing field. It is not like Civil or Mechanical. Now it is an era of AI and Machine Learning. So I would suggest you to go for a good certification course of Data Science along with AI and Machine Learning from some good institute which is having collaboration with some reputed IIT. I am sure if your knowledge is upto the mark and matches with the need of the present day then certainly you will get a job. If you are not familiar with coding then please practise coding by seeing the videos in YOU TUBE for two months before joining the certificate course. Please follow me. Best of luck. MAY GOD BLESS YOU. Professor...............:)

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay |111 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi

Career

What are scope of btech biotech in india and abroad if someone want to do Masters abroad like Australia canada u.k or u.s what with be the expenses and procedure, is it a good fiekd to choose over Mbbs

Ans: After B.Tech Biotechnology never go for MBBS. It will be a huge wastage of time and only with MBBS without specialization truly you can't earn much in present day. For doing Masters from Foreign country I would suggest only USA. The procedure is very simple. You need to have four things i) An excellent GRE Score ii) A good TOEFL Score 111) Three good recommendations from your professors iv) A good SOP (Statement of Purpose). But the cash support required will be 80 lakhs to 1 crore. Because now a days in MS fundings are generally not available. Best of luck. MAY GOD BLESS YOU. Professor.....................:)

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay |111 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi

Career

Confused about future what to do after msc biotechnology so I can earn decant amount?

Ans: You can go for teaching, but for teaching if you go for Ph.D it will be better. If the financial condition permits you can go for Ph.D from USA. You need to have four things i) An excellent GRE Score ii) A good TOEFL Score 111) Three good recommendations from your professors iv) A good SOP (Statement of Purpose). Ph.D comes with full funding, still you need to have 30-40 lakhs rupees cash ready for the initial expenses and first two semesters, if you don't get funding from day one. But generally Ph.D students get funding from starting. But if you go for MS then points number 1 to 4 will be same, but the cash support required will be 80 lakhs to 1 crore. Because in MS now a days financial supports are generally not received. If you can't afford study from USA then in India you can do MBA from a good B- School and join some corporate. But if you don't want to change the core sector then go for Ph.D in India, but Ph.D is a journey of 4 to 6 years. Once Ph.D is done college teaching will be a good opportunity for you. Be in touch with me and follow me. All the best. MAY GOD BLESS YOU. Professor............:)

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay |111 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Question by Vikas - Nov 14, 2024Hindi

Career

Mene pahle 12bio se ki hai me jee exam de sakta hu

Ans: Your question is not clear to me. Please write in an elaborate way.Professor

Dr Shyam Jamalabad |78 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dentist - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Question by Donna - Jun 25, 2024Hindi

Health

Dr. Shyam, I had my teeth cleaned 6 months ago and after that was done I saw discoloration on certain teeth that wasn't there before. Years ago I had my teeth cleaned and one particular tooth after the cleaning was sensitive to touch. I had a crown put in from two different dental offices. The first one did the crown right, but was trying to charge me $3,500 more than the agreement they made with Medicare. Medicare corrected that. I other dentist did a crown and it didn't go all the way up to my gums and is sensitive to especially cold things. I'm not having very good experiences with dentist by and large. Can't find an honest one or one that can actually do the job right. I feel being on Medicare your a target to bring in money. Not sure what to do next. Supposed to go back and have them redo the crown that didn't go to my gums, but it also was ttd place to didn't clean my teeth right and discolored some of them. Any suggestions on how to trust there is actually an capable and honest dentist out there who can perform properly?

Ans: Identifying a capable and honest dentist is crucial for your oral health and well-being. Here are some tips to help you find one:

1. Ask for referrals: Ask friends, family, or coworkers for recommendations. They can provide valuable insights into a dentist's work quality and bedside manner.

2. Check credentials: Ensure the dentist has the necessary qualifications, certifications, and licenses. You can verify this information with your state's dental board or professional organizations like the American Dental Association (ADA).

3. Check online reviews: Look up the dentist on review platforms. Pay attention to the overall rating and read the comments to understand the strengths and weaknesses. At the same time, do not rely on reviews alone as these can be manipulated, fake reviews can be easily generated.

4. Evaluate their communication style: A good dentist should listen to your concerns, explain procedures clearly, and answer questions patiently. Ensure you feel comfortable asking questions and discussing your treatment.

5. Assess their facility and equipment: A well-organized and modern dental office with up-to-date equipment is a good sign.

6. Check their approach to preventive care: A capable dentist emphasizes preventive care, including regular cleanings, exams, and education on oral hygiene.

7. Be wary of over-treatment: A honest dentist will not recommend unnecessary procedures. Be cautious if you feel pressured into extensive treatments.

8. Trust your instincts: If something feels off or you don't click with the dentist, it's okay to explore other options.

10. Schedule a consultation: Many dentists offer initial consultations or meet-and-greets. Use this opportunity to assess their approach, ask questions, and gauge your comfort level.

By following these steps, you can increase your chances of finding a capable and honest dentist who prioritizes your oral health and well-being.

Dr Shyam Jamalabad |78 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dentist - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 10, 2024Hindi

Health

I have gum inflammation from teenage years now am in 30s it bleeds rarely but swelling doesn't reduce though from many years am waiting for it to come to normal...

Ans: Hello
You have not mentioned whether you have consulted a dentist for your gum inflammation and were treated in the past for the same.
The most common cause for gum inflammation is poor oral hygiene. Inadequate or improper brushing can lead to accumulation of tartar or calculus which in turn leads to gum inflammation. This tartar or calculus has to be cleaned (the process is called scaling) periodically by a qualified dentist in order to maintain gum health. The recommended frequency can be determined by your dentist after periodic check ups.
If you have gum inflammation despite regular check ups and cleaning, other factors could be responsible.
Certain medicines which need to be taken on a regular basis are known to cause swelling of the gums. Hormonal imbalances can also affect the gums. To rule out these extra-oral factors, your medical history and medication will have to evaluated and adjusted by a General Physician.

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay |111 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Question by Sachith - Nov 14, 2024Hindi

Career

I've completed my BSc in Chemistry and Biotechnology and am now contemplating my master's degree options. I'm torn between MCA (Master of Computer Applications) and MSc Bioinformatics. Considering my life science background, I'm unsure if pursuing MCA would limit my job prospects and i don't know much about Msc bioinformatics So what to do now?

Ans: Go for MCA or Msc bioinformatics. Take prper decision. Ask yourself whether you want to be in the core line or you want to shift to IT side. If IT side then even MCA will not be enough. It's an age of AI. So you need to go for a good certificate course which is having collaboration with some reputed IIT. So please decide with a calm and cool mind then proceed. In your country before going for a three years course we don't even think for three hours. DECISION DECIDES DESTINY. So take proper decision. I am always there for you. Best of luck. MAY GOD BLESS YOU. Professor..............:)

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay |111 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Question by Alak - Nov 14, 2024Hindi

Career

Hi, sir, My daughter is doing degree in political science in Delhi University,and she does not want to continue masters in pol. sc. so, what are the other options available for her after degree ,if she does not want to do masters in pol sc.

Ans: She can do MBA or she can prepare for UPSC or the state General PSC job for going to admin type job. Best of luck to your daughter. MAY GOD BLESS HER. Professor...................:)

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay |111 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi

Career

I am 45 year's old high school physics teacher with M.Sc in Physics and having M.Tech degree in safety, also having 18yrs teaching and four year of industry experience, now if I complete online B.Sc in AI and DS from IIT Guwahati, and try to do research in AI or quantum computing ,can I switch over in this age or I can get research opportunities

Ans: Frankly speaking research work means pursuing Ph.D or joining some company of AI, ML and DS in their R&D division. Along with job Ph.D you can't do, but certainly after the certificate course of IIT Guwahati you will have access to the R&D of the companies who deal with DS, AI and ML. Only your huge teaching experience is a negative factor. Still I would suggest you to go for the certificate course and try for R&D job. Best of Luck. MAY GOD BLESS YOU. Professor.....................:)

Ravi Mittal |416 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi, I am 30 years old not married & now my parents are forcing me to get married. I think i am good looking guy. It's not like i have never been with girls. I have had brief flings with multiple girls. And there was one girl whom i was in a platonic relationship with with lot of emotional sharing & have spent a lot of time with her. The same goes with another girl. Both of them have told me that i have been pretty cool & girls would like me to be their bf or husband. But i am not able to accept anyone because of the guilt that of my past that i never had a relationship. Never been able to tell anyone that i had a gf. I know this is wrong to compare my life but i can't stop thinking that way. Can you tell me what to do? Like a contsant regret of not having a very steamy cool fancy relationship from outside. I know relationships have it's own ups & downs. But this guilt is killing me that i missed out lot of things in life & if get married in an arranged marriage i would feel myself to be a looser who couldn't even find a girl on his own. Though i know all of these comparisons are wrong & i should be rational. I am not able to help it. Please help me out

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whatever you are feeling, it is very normal. More people than you could imagine go through this same phase. But as you mentioned, these are just thoughts; there is no truth to them. Not having a relationship does not make you uncool. It merely means that you did not meet your perfect match yet. I understand that you feel like you have missed out on something and that feeling is valid. It might not be reasonable, but it's very natural to think this way. I can suggest one thing- why don't you try a dating or matchmaking app to find your own partner? That way, you will be keeping your parents' wishes and won't let yourself down either. It will also give you more control over choosing your life partner.

Hope this helps.

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Video Reply
Audio Reply

WhatsApp
Facebook
Twitter
Copy link

Delete

Close

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus

Sign up

email

uname

mobile no

Country Code

Mobile number

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

LOGIN

x