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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |118 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

i feel defeated in life how to start again and move on path of happiness

Ans: It's normal to feel defeated and stuck at times, but it's important to remember that it's never too late to start again and work towards a happier life.

Here are some suggestions to help you get started:

Identify your goals and passions: Take some time to reflect on what you want to achieve in life and what makes you happy. This could be a new career path, a hobby, or a personal goal. Identifying your passions and goals can give you a sense of direction and purpose.

Break down your goals into small steps: Once you have identified your goals, break them down into small achievable steps. This can make them feel less daunting and help you stay motivated.

Create a plan: Develop a plan for how you will achieve your goals. This could involve taking classes, networking, or seeking out mentorship or guidance.

Surround yourself with positive people: Seek out the company of people who support and encourage you. Positive relationships can provide you with the emotional support and motivation you need to move forward.

Practice self-care: Taking care of your physical and emotional health is important in achieving happiness. This could involve eating healthy, getting enough rest, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.

Remember, moving on from a difficult time in your life takes time and effort. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this process. Seeking the help of a therapist or counselor can also be beneficial in working through feelings of defeat and developing a plan for moving forward.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 20, 2021

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Relationship
I don't know how to start but things are not good in my life. I lost my father 3 months back which still does not go out of my head. I met a girl recently and developed some sort of feelings for her but she is not at all interested in me which made me more sad as I feel as I am just not good enough. Due to my professional work I am not living with my family and their tensions extra. I have zero friends who talk regularly to me or ask about me. I have a thin body so people body shame me and it decreases my morale and confidence. Profession is also not going as good I thought due to relationship issues with my manager. Everything is making me more sad and lonely. Please give me something to cheer. Don't want to live life like this.. I am writing this with a heavy heart.
Ans: Dear HS, I am truly sorry for your loss; the passing away of a loved one is never easy on anyone.

Now let’s focus on what you might be bothered by. See, if you are going to depend on the external environment to increase your confidence or self-esteem, then you are setting yourself up for a rude disappointment.

Your state of mind is your choice which is the one that dictates how you perceive the environment around you.

If you wake every morning feeling sorry for yourself, do you think you are going to perform well at work?

Shying away from a social life just because you are body shamed pushes you back into an unfavorable state of mind where you shut away even a few ‘good’ people.

Why deprive yourself of the little joys just because some people measure you by how you look?

What do you get by giving into that drama that these people have created?

More agony, I presume! And then the loop goes on and on…

Do check a few inspiring videos on how people have overcome body shaming and take a leaf out of it and start living for who you are; people start respecting you when you respect yourself first.

Well, romantic feelings sometimes may not be reciprocated; but you feel sad because you already are in a self-pity mode; what if your mind space was stronger?

A rejection from a girl, would have still been fine and would have been easy to move on.

Sorry, I need to be honest and show you the mirror, rather than just cheer you up. Get up, stand tall, show up. Show Up, no matter what!

Respect yourself for who you are…you are your best Ally…Now, I want you to dust yourself off of all the feelings that are not useful and Show Up and Take Charge…watch how things change…

Best wishes and simply Show Up…You can do this…

..Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |94 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Apr 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 07, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello, I am 41 working in it mnc. I did well in my career initially and then because of my carelessness and laid back attitude, I faltered and I am in a very depressive situation where I feel as complete failure who failed himself and his family. I am not sure how can I help myself come out of the situation. My wife is also worried and trying to cheer me up but it's not helping much. Please help how to come out of this and move ahead
Ans: Hello there!!
"The greatest success in not in never failing, but getting up every time you fail"!
It's time for you to get up and move!!
With the information you have given me, the conclusions I have drawn are that-
1. you are a person who is aware of what went wrong, this itself is a blessing. There are many who just move in life without being aware.
2. you are still working, you have a job at an MNC. That's good!! Had you been so bad as you are describing yourself, you would not be still working, so cheer up!!
3. you have a caring wife, she is trying to cheer you up .You are lucky.
4 . you are an intelligent man, hence you did well in your job initially

Now the way forward-
1. with so little information you have given me , I have listed 4 things you need to be grateful for. Every morning you'll count your blessings and write them down or say it aloud. You'll repeat this activity before going to sleep.
2. spend 20 mins walking amidst nature. Physical activity and spending time in nature is a must everyday. I am sure taking 20 mins in a day for this should be easy.
The above two activities will make your depressive mood run far away from you.

Next plan of action ,for you to move further in you career-
1. first and foremost forgive yourself for your carelessness and laid back attitude. Past is past ,forget it.
2. plan every action of yours with one leg in the future, is there a new skill set you need to learn or improve upon your Image, Soft skills , leadership skills , etc in order to have an edge over others. Think about it and learn new skills.
3. do not compare yourself with anyone, it's your journey at your own pace. Compare yourself with others if you feel inspired else do not compare.
4. you are just 41.... there is still a long life ahead. Don't beat yourself down for a few mistakes ...Just look ahead now...Look forward to a beautiful future with your family.

All the very best!!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |469 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
How to overcome from past memories
Ans: Healing from painful past memories is an intimate and deeply emotional journey. It’s not just about forgetting what happened but learning to carry those experiences in a way that doesn’t weigh you down.

Start by honoring your feelings. These memories are a part of your story, and the emotions tied to them are valid. Allow yourself to sit with the pain, the sadness, or even the anger, without rushing to push it away. Sometimes, simply acknowledging the hurt can bring a sense of release.

Mindfulness can be a gentle companion in this process. When the past pulls you back, focus on the present moment. Notice the feel of your breath, the warmth of the sun, or the grounding sensation of your feet on the floor. These small acts remind you that you are here, now, safe and capable of healing.

Embrace self-compassion. Speak to yourself as you would to a dear friend. Remind yourself that it’s okay to have scars and that healing takes time. You don’t have to be perfect or have it all figured out. It’s enough to take one step at a time.

Sometimes, letting go means forgiving—not just others, but yourself too. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning what happened. It’s about freeing yourself from the chains of resentment and allowing space for peace and growth.

Surround yourself with warmth and support. Lean on those who uplift you, who remind you of your strength, and who offer you love without judgment. These connections can be a soothing balm for the soul.

Lastly, be patient with yourself. Healing is not linear, and it’s okay to have days when the past feels heavy again. Trust in your resilience and know that each day, you are growing stronger, finding new ways to hold your memories with tenderness rather than pain. You are worthy of peace, love, and joy in your present and future.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |469 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Two years ago, I met someone, at a workplace inclusion workshop in Mumbai. He identified himself as a transgender man, We clicked instantly, and our friendship turned into a romantic relationship over time. He is incredibly supportive, kind, and ambitious. I admire him deeply because he has faced many struggles to be where he is today. My parents found out about him recently, and the backlash has been immense. They’ve threatened to disown me, saying I’m bringing shame to the family. They’re pushing me to break up with him and marry someone 'normal.' The societal pressure, whispers from neighbours, and even judgment from some colleagues are making things unbearable. I love him but I also feel torn between my family, cultural expectations, and my happiness. What should I do?
Ans: First, it's important to acknowledge your feelings of being torn. This is a natural response to the competing demands of love, family loyalty, and cultural expectations. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment; they are valid and understandable.

Next, consider the core values and priorities in your life. What kind of life do you envision for yourself? What role do love, authenticity, and personal happiness play in that vision? Reflecting on these questions can help clarify your path forward.

Communication with your family is crucial, though it may be difficult. Express your feelings, the depth of your love for your partner, and the happiness he brings into your life. It might not change their perspective immediately, but it's important for them to hear your truth. Seek moments of calm and understanding, and try to create a space for dialogue rather than confrontation.

It’s also essential to build a support system beyond your family. Surround yourself with friends, mentors, or support groups who understand and affirm your relationship. This community can provide emotional strength and perspective, reminding you that you are not alone in facing these challenges.

Lastly, prioritize your emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you peace and joy, whether it's spending time with supportive friends, pursuing hobbies, or even seeking professional counseling. A therapist or coach can offer a safe space to explore your feelings and help you develop strategies to navigate this complex situation.

Remember, the decision about how to proceed must ultimately align with what brings you the most peace and fulfillment. Balancing love and family expectations is difficult, but staying true to yourself and your values is essential for long-term happiness.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7438 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 05, 2025

Money
Hello Sir, I am 44 years old man. I want to start SIP for my children, 6.5 years old daughter and 2.5 years old son. The objective is to secure their future and the funds can be used when they want to go for graduation/higher studies. I have shortlisted the following funds, please let me know if you recommend any changes. Thank you! 1-UTI Nifty50 Index Direct: Rs.2000 2-ICICI Prudential Nifty Next 50 Index Fund: Rs.2000 3-Canara Robeco Bluechip Equity Fund: Rs.2000 4-ICICI Prudential Value Discovery Fund: Rs.3000 5-Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund: Rs.2000 6-ICICI Prudential Equity & Debt Fund: Rs.3000 7-Quant Active Find: Rs.3000 8-SBI Contra Fund: Rs.3000 9-Nippon India small cap fund: Rs.3000 10-Nippon India ETF Gold BeES: Rs.2000
Ans: Creating a portfolio for your children’s future is a thoughtful and responsible step. Ensuring the right mix of funds can maximise returns, manage risks, and help achieve your financial goals effectively. Below is an evaluation of your selected portfolio, along with recommendations to streamline and optimise it.

Evaluating Your Portfolio
1. Too Many Funds
You have selected 10 funds, which might lead to over-diversification.
Over-diversification can dilute returns and make tracking difficult.
2. Balanced Allocation Missing
There’s a heavy tilt towards equity with insufficient diversification across asset classes.
Adding a debt component can provide stability and reduce volatility.
3. Index Funds
UTI Nifty50 Index Fund and ICICI Prudential Nifty Next 50 Index Fund:
Index funds lack flexibility and cannot outperform during bear markets.
Actively managed funds might be better for your long-term goals.
4. Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Exposure
Nippon India Small Cap Fund:
High risk but high return potential.
Retain for diversification but limit exposure to 10%-15% of your total investments.
5. Thematic and Contra Funds
SBI Contra Fund and Quant Active Fund:
Thematic and contra funds have niche strategies, making them riskier.
Retain only one if aligned with your risk appetite.
6. Gold ETF
Nippon India ETF Gold BeES:
Adds diversification and inflation protection.
However, limit allocation to 5%-10% of your portfolio.
Recommended Portfolio for Your Goals
1. Core Equity Allocation (60%-70%)
Focus on funds that provide long-term stability and growth.

Large-Cap Funds: Replace index funds with actively managed large-cap funds for better returns.
Flexi-Cap Funds: Retain Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund for its global diversification and balanced approach.
Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Funds: Retain one small-cap fund (Nippon India Small Cap Fund) for growth potential.
2. Hybrid Funds (20%-25%)
Include hybrid funds to balance equity and debt.

Retain ICICI Prudential Equity & Debt Fund for stability and moderate returns.
3. Gold (5%-10%)
Continue investing in Nippon India ETF Gold BeES for diversification.

Proposed Allocation
To streamline your portfolio, allocate investments more strategically:

Large-Cap Equity Fund: Invest Rs. 4,000 monthly in a strong actively managed large-cap fund like Canara Robeco Bluechip Equity Fund. Large-cap funds provide stability and consistent growth for long-term goals.

Flexi-Cap Fund: Continue investing Rs. 4,000 monthly in Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund. This fund offers global diversification and a balanced approach to equity exposure.

Small-Cap Fund: Retain Nippon India Small Cap Fund and allocate Rs. 3,000 monthly. Small-cap funds add high-growth potential but keep the exposure minimal to manage risk.

Hybrid Fund: Allocate Rs. 5,000 monthly to ICICI Prudential Equity & Debt Fund. This hybrid fund balances equity and debt exposure, providing stability with moderate growth.

Gold ETF: Continue Rs. 2,000 monthly in Nippon India ETF Gold BeES. Gold adds a hedge against inflation and enhances portfolio diversification.

Additional Recommendations
1. Debt Component for Stability
Consider short-term debt funds or liquid funds for low-risk capital appreciation.
These can be used for nearer-term educational needs like school fees.
2. Gradual SIP Increases
Increase SIPs by 10%-15% annually as your income grows.
This ensures your investments grow in tandem with inflation.
3. Portfolio Review and Rebalancing
Review your portfolio annually to evaluate performance.
Rebalance if any fund consistently underperforms for over 2-3 years.
4. Tax Planning
Retain an ELSS tax-saving fund to maximise tax benefits under Section 80C.
Final Insights
Your disciplined approach to securing your children's education is commendable. This revised portfolio offers a balanced mix of growth and stability. It ensures you can meet future education milestones confidently. Stay consistent, increase contributions periodically, and monitor performance regularly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7438 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 04, 2025Hindi
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Money
I have 60 lakhs inr as retirement money.Where to invest to generate an income of 40000-50000 plus appreciate the capital and im what ratio to invest to save the capital in case of a rainy day?
Ans: To generate a monthly income of Rs. 40,000 to Rs. 50,000 while preserving and appreciating your retirement corpus of Rs. 60 lakhs, it is crucial to follow a balanced and diversified investment strategy. Here's a comprehensive plan that balances income generation, capital appreciation, and safety for rainy-day needs:

Investment Allocation for Income and Capital Growth
1. Fixed Income Instruments (30%-40%)
Objective: Stable monthly income and capital protection.

Options:

Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS): If you are 60+, invest up to Rs. 30 lakhs for quarterly payouts.
Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS): Offers reliable monthly income with low risk.
Bank Fixed Deposits (FD): Choose deposits with monthly interest payouts for stable cash flow.
Debt Mutual Funds: Consider high-quality short-term or dynamic bond funds for better tax efficiency and returns.
Approximate Allocation: Rs. 20-25 lakhs.

2. Equity Mutual Funds (40%-50%)
Objective: Long-term capital appreciation to counter inflation.

Options:

Balanced Advantage Funds (BAFs): Dynamically allocate between equity and debt for moderate risk.
Large Cap Funds: Focus on blue-chip companies for stability.
Multi-Cap Funds: Provide diversified exposure to large, mid, and small caps.
Approach: Start a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from equity funds after 3 years for tax-efficient income.

Approximate Allocation: Rs. 25-30 lakhs.

3. Emergency Fund (10%-15%)
Objective: Cover unforeseen expenses or emergencies.

Options:

Keep 6-12 months’ expenses in liquid funds or high-interest savings accounts.
Use short-term FDs or sweep accounts for easy access to funds.
Approximate Allocation: Rs. 6-9 lakhs.

4. Alternative Investment (Optional - 5%-10%)
Objective: Enhance portfolio diversification.

Options:

Gold ETFs/Sovereign Gold Bonds: Hedge against inflation and economic uncertainty.
Corporate Bonds or Non-Convertible Debentures (NCDs): Ensure AAA-rated for safety.
Approximate Allocation: Rs. 3-5 lakhs.

Monthly Income Strategy
Fixed Income Source: Use interest from SCSS, POMIS, and FDs for regular monthly cash flow.
Equity SWP: Start withdrawing Rs. 15,000-20,000 monthly after 3 years. This ensures tax efficiency and steady income.
Rainy-Day Protection
Maintain a liquid fund with Rs. 6-9 lakhs for quick access during emergencies.

Avoid locking too much in illiquid instruments like long-term FDs or property.

Points to Remember
Rebalance Annually: Review and adjust allocation to align with market conditions.
Tax Efficiency: Debt instruments like SCSS and POMIS are taxable. Equity funds offer LTCG tax benefits.
Inflation Adjustment: Reinvest surplus income to ensure your corpus grows with inflation.
Final Insights
A balanced mix of fixed income and equity can provide regular income and capital growth. Prioritise liquidity for emergencies while optimising tax efficiency. This approach ensures financial independence throughout retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |833 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 04, 2025Hindi
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Pushpa

Pushpa R  |39 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Jan 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 13, 2024Hindi
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Health
Hi Namita ji! I am a 41 yr old Male. I have always have too much of gas and keep passing odourless gas a lot through out the day. I have recently being diagnosed with early stages of ankylosing spondylitis. Please guide me. Also, is there any home medicines that I can take to relive from the gas.
Ans: Excessive gas can be caused by multiple factors, such as diet, gut health, or lifestyle habits. Since you've been diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis, inflammation might also be contributing to gut issues. Here are some tips to help manage gas and improve digestion:

Yoga Practices:
Pawanmuktasana (Wind-Relieving Pose): This pose helps release trapped gas. Lie on your back, hug your knees to your chest one at a time, and gently press them down toward your abdomen.
Vajrasana (Thunderbolt Pose): Sit on your heels immediately after meals to aid digestion.
Cat-Cow Pose: This gentle movement improves spinal flexibility and stimulates digestive organs.
Home Remedies for Gas:
Ajwain (Carom Seeds) and Black Salt: Mix 1 tsp of ajwain with a pinch of black salt. Consume with warm water.
Fennel Tea: Boil fennel seeds in water, strain, and sip after meals.
Ginger and Lemon: Mix grated ginger with a few drops of lemon juice and chew before meals.
Important Notes:
Avoid gas-triggering foods like beans, carbonated drinks, and fried items.
Maintain a regular meal schedule and eat smaller portions.
Consult a healthcare provider for dietary guidance and a yoga coach for safe practice tailored to ankylosing spondylitis.

Warm Regards,
R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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