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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2023Hindi
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i feel defeated in life how to start again and move on path of happiness

Ans: It's normal to feel defeated and stuck at times, but it's important to remember that it's never too late to start again and work towards a happier life.

Here are some suggestions to help you get started:

Identify your goals and passions: Take some time to reflect on what you want to achieve in life and what makes you happy. This could be a new career path, a hobby, or a personal goal. Identifying your passions and goals can give you a sense of direction and purpose.

Break down your goals into small steps: Once you have identified your goals, break them down into small achievable steps. This can make them feel less daunting and help you stay motivated.

Create a plan: Develop a plan for how you will achieve your goals. This could involve taking classes, networking, or seeking out mentorship or guidance.

Surround yourself with positive people: Seek out the company of people who support and encourage you. Positive relationships can provide you with the emotional support and motivation you need to move forward.

Practice self-care: Taking care of your physical and emotional health is important in achieving happiness. This could involve eating healthy, getting enough rest, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.

Remember, moving on from a difficult time in your life takes time and effort. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this process. Seeking the help of a therapist or counselor can also be beneficial in working through feelings of defeat and developing a plan for moving forward.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 20, 2021

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I don't know how to start but things are not good in my life. I lost my father 3 months back which still does not go out of my head. I met a girl recently and developed some sort of feelings for her but she is not at all interested in me which made me more sad as I feel as I am just not good enough. Due to my professional work I am not living with my family and their tensions extra. I have zero friends who talk regularly to me or ask about me. I have a thin body so people body shame me and it decreases my morale and confidence. Profession is also not going as good I thought due to relationship issues with my manager. Everything is making me more sad and lonely. Please give me something to cheer. Don't want to live life like this.. I am writing this with a heavy heart.
Ans: Dear HS, I am truly sorry for your loss; the passing away of a loved one is never easy on anyone.

Now let’s focus on what you might be bothered by. See, if you are going to depend on the external environment to increase your confidence or self-esteem, then you are setting yourself up for a rude disappointment.

Your state of mind is your choice which is the one that dictates how you perceive the environment around you.

If you wake every morning feeling sorry for yourself, do you think you are going to perform well at work?

Shying away from a social life just because you are body shamed pushes you back into an unfavorable state of mind where you shut away even a few ‘good’ people.

Why deprive yourself of the little joys just because some people measure you by how you look?

What do you get by giving into that drama that these people have created?

More agony, I presume! And then the loop goes on and on…

Do check a few inspiring videos on how people have overcome body shaming and take a leaf out of it and start living for who you are; people start respecting you when you respect yourself first.

Well, romantic feelings sometimes may not be reciprocated; but you feel sad because you already are in a self-pity mode; what if your mind space was stronger?

A rejection from a girl, would have still been fine and would have been easy to move on.

Sorry, I need to be honest and show you the mirror, rather than just cheer you up. Get up, stand tall, show up. Show Up, no matter what!

Respect yourself for who you are…you are your best Ally…Now, I want you to dust yourself off of all the feelings that are not useful and Show Up and Take Charge…watch how things change…

Best wishes and simply Show Up…You can do this…

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |23 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Apr 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 07, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am 41 working in it mnc. I did well in my career initially and then because of my carelessness and laid back attitude, I faltered and I am in a very depressive situation where I feel as complete failure who failed himself and his family. I am not sure how can I help myself come out of the situation. My wife is also worried and trying to cheer me up but it's not helping much. Please help how to come out of this and move ahead
Ans: Hello there!!
"The greatest success in not in never failing, but getting up every time you fail"!
It's time for you to get up and move!!
With the information you have given me, the conclusions I have drawn are that-
1. you are a person who is aware of what went wrong, this itself is a blessing. There are many who just move in life without being aware.
2. you are still working, you have a job at an MNC. That's good!! Had you been so bad as you are describing yourself, you would not be still working, so cheer up!!
3. you have a caring wife, she is trying to cheer you up .You are lucky.
4 . you are an intelligent man, hence you did well in your job initially

Now the way forward-
1. with so little information you have given me , I have listed 4 things you need to be grateful for. Every morning you'll count your blessings and write them down or say it aloud. You'll repeat this activity before going to sleep.
2. spend 20 mins walking amidst nature. Physical activity and spending time in nature is a must everyday. I am sure taking 20 mins in a day for this should be easy.
The above two activities will make your depressive mood run far away from you.

Next plan of action ,for you to move further in you career-
1. first and foremost forgive yourself for your carelessness and laid back attitude. Past is past ,forget it.
2. plan every action of yours with one leg in the future, is there a new skill set you need to learn or improve upon your Image, Soft skills , leadership skills , etc in order to have an edge over others. Think about it and learn new skills.
3. do not compare yourself with anyone, it's your journey at your own pace. Compare yourself with others if you feel inspired else do not compare.
4. you are just 41.... there is still a long life ahead. Don't beat yourself down for a few mistakes ...Just look ahead now...Look forward to a beautiful future with your family.

All the very best!!
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Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |326 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi
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I am pursuing 12 in commerce. Please guide me should I pursue B.Com or BBA. I should study in India or abroad
Ans: Hello,

First and foremost, thank you for getting in touch with us. I am glad to hear that you are currently pursuing your 12th grade in the Commerce field. To answer your question first, I would like to let you know that we only deal with overseas education. Concerning your query as to whether you should pursue a Bachelor of Commerce (B.Com) or Bachelor of Business Administration (BBA), I would like to tell you that your interests, the abilities you intend developing, and your professional objectives, play a key role in deciding between pursuing a B.Com and BBA. Subjects pertaining to accounting, business law, finance, and economics are primarily covered in the Bachelor of Commerce (B.Com.) program. On the contrary, a comprehensive understanding of the various facets of business management, viz., human resources, finance, marketing, and operations is offered in a Bachelor of Business Administration (BBA) program.

If the technical aspects of economics, finance, and accounting appeal to you, B.Com could be a better option. Nevertheless, if learning about management principles, business strategy, and leadership skills, is what interests you, then BBA could be a wiser choice.

Concerning studying overseas, I would like to let you know that it can be an excellent chance to become acquainted with diverse cultures, educational systems, and perspectives. Remember that studying overseas can widen your horizons, broaden your international outlooks, and offer meaningful experiences that can enhance both your personal and professional life.

When deciding, I would recommend that you take into account variables viz., the standing of the universities you intend enrolling in, the courses they provide, potential employment possibilities, and your monetary circumstances. Moreover, in order to make an educated choice, I would suggest that you look into the available scholarships as well as think about the long-term advantages of studying overseas. Lastly, I would recommend that you select the course that best resonates with your interests, ambitions, and aspirations.

For more information, you can visit our website.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |172 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

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Dear madam , I was married since 14 years and live ng separately after marrige last 14 years due to both we are working professionals and my wife lost his father before our marriage and she needs to take care of her mother and family For that after marriage we leave separately and we was a great understanding and we have a boy after 8 years of marriage ,now he is also 6.5 years in age and doing good in education I only send money fornhis education and when ever wife needs ,we did not have regular sex as we meet frequently in a year about 3-4 months back. Now last one year almost I am abroad from India due to service transfer to Malyasia and feeling our relationship is no more working as my wife stop responding my calls and clearly told he is not interested on me.as she is very upgraded in her carrier and feeling disturbed about my calls ....and not even return call when she free of work...I am suppose to do what ? Please suggest.
Ans: Hello Suman,
It sounds like there have been significant changes in your relationship dynamics, especially with your wife's focus on her career and the physical distance between you due to your work in Malaysia. Even though your wife may not be responding to your calls, it's important to continue trying to communicate with her. Express your concerns and feelings openly and honestly, but also try to listen to her perspective without judgment.Try to understand your wife's perspective and the reasons behind her behavior. It's possible that she may be feeling overwhelmed with her responsibilities or experiencing other challenges that are affecting her responsiveness. Consider seeking the assistance of a marriage counselor or therapist who can facilitate communication and help both of you work through your issues. A neutral third party can provide guidance and support in resolving conflicts and rebuilding your relationship. Reflect on what you want for your future and what you're willing to do to salvage your marriage. Consider your own needs and priorities, as well as those of your son. If possible, try to spend quality time together when you visit India or when your wife can join you in Malaysia. Building positive experiences together can help strengthen your bond and rekindle your connection. Lean on friends, family, or support groups for guidance and emotional support during this challenging time. Having a strong support system can help you navigate through difficult situations.Take care of yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally. Focus on activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if you're feeling overwhelmed or distressed.
Ultimately, rebuilding a relationship takes time, effort, and commitment from both parties. It's important to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and an openness to change.
(more)
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |172 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2024Hindi
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Dear madam , My name is Suman ..44+ years I was married since 14 years and live ng separately after marrige last 14 years due to both we are working professionals and my wife lost his father before our marriage and she needs to take care of her mother and family For that after marriage we leave separately and we was a great understanding and we have a boy after 8 years of marriage ,now he is also 6.5 years in age and doing good in education I only send money fornhis education and when ever wife needs ,we did not have regular sex as we meet frequently in a year about 3-4 months back. Now last one year almost I am abroad from India due to service transfer to Malyasia and feeling our relationship is no more working as my wife stop responding my calls and clearly told he is not interested on me.as she is very upgraded in her carrier and feeling disturbed about my calls ....and not even return call when she free of work...I am suppose to do what ? Please suggest.
Ans: Hello Suman,
It sounds like there have been significant changes in your relationship dynamics, especially with your wife's focus on her career and the physical distance between you due to your work in Malaysia. Even though your wife may not be responding to your calls, it's important to continue trying to communicate with her. Express your concerns and feelings openly and honestly, but also try to listen to her perspective without judgment.Try to understand your wife's perspective and the reasons behind her behavior. It's possible that she may be feeling overwhelmed with her responsibilities or experiencing other challenges that are affecting her responsiveness. Consider seeking the assistance of a marriage counselor or therapist who can facilitate communication and help both of you work through your issues. A neutral third party can provide guidance and support in resolving conflicts and rebuilding your relationship. Reflect on what you want for your future and what you're willing to do to salvage your marriage. Consider your own needs and priorities, as well as those of your son. If possible, try to spend quality time together when you visit India or when your wife can join you in Malaysia. Building positive experiences together can help strengthen your bond and rekindle your connection. Lean on friends, family, or support groups for guidance and emotional support during this challenging time. Having a strong support system can help you navigate through difficult situations.Take care of yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally. Focus on activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if you're feeling overwhelmed or distressed.
Ultimately, rebuilding a relationship takes time, effort, and commitment from both parties. It's important to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and an openness to change.
(more)
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |172 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

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Hi, I have a divorcee daughter aged 45 whose unpleasant and quarrelsome behavior is a constant source of misery and headache for whole of the family. Her marriage could not go beyond 2 months as her in-laws turned out to be greedy, troublesome and also found involved in some fraudulent activities with a few police cases against them -- which forced us to seek divorce. I may add that my daughter ever since she was 13 or 14 yrs became a little self-willed and considered her to be always right in action and thought in front of parents or any one else. This has become very serious now. She is not at all open to any kind of reasoning or discussion. If you always act, think or do as per her wish, it is ok otherwise she will start fighting on any thing or every thing. Her attitude of selfishness and always finding faults with other family members including parents is spoiling the peaceful atmosphere of the house. Expecting any kind of adjustment from her is asking for the moon. Kindly advise.
Ans: Dear SN,

I can understand how challenging it must be to deal with your daughter's behavior. It's concerning that she's been displaying this attitude since she was young and that it's causing such turmoil within your family.

Consider seeking the help of a family therapist or counselor who specializes in dealing with family conflicts. A professional can provide an objective perspective and offer strategies for improving communication and resolving conflicts.It's important to establish clear boundaries with your daughter regarding her behavior. Let her know what behaviors are unacceptable and what consequences will follow if those boundaries are crossed.
Encourage Open Communication: Even though your daughter may be resistant to discussion, continue to encourage open communication within the family. Let her know that you're willing to listen to her perspective and work together to find solutions. Instead of solely focusing on her negative behavior, try to reinforce positive behaviors when you see them. Praise her when she acts respectfully or cooperatively, and try to reinforce those behaviors. Show your daughter how to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts peacefully by modeling those behaviors yourself. Avoid getting drawn into arguments or confrontations, and instead, try to remain calm and rational.If your daughter is open to it, encourage her to seek therapy on her own. A therapist can help her explore the underlying reasons for her behavior and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Encourage Self-Reflection: Encourage your daughter to reflect on her behavior and its impact on herself and others. Help her recognize the importance of empathy and understanding in maintaining healthy relationships.
It may take time and patience, but with consistent effort and support, there is hope for improvement. Remember to take care of yourselves and seek support from other family members or friends if needed.
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Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |326 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

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My son is M.S. general surgery from MGM UNIVERSITY MUMBAI.He has done oncology fellowship in Nashik Under Dr.Nagarkar.He is in practice at Beed,near Solapur.How he will be able able to get extra training in USA In oncology?Dr.s.y.Jadhav
Ans: Hello Satyawan,

To begin with, thank you for contacting us. I am happy to hear that your son has pursued his Master of Surgery in General Surgery from MGM University, has done oncology fellowship in Nashik, and is practicing at Beed. To answer your question first, I would like to tell you that in order to pursue additional training in oncology in the USA, there are a few steps that your son will require to follow:

Firstly, I would suggest that your son conducts a comprehensive study on oncology fellowship programs in the USA. Remember that the USA offers a number of well-regarded programs, and thus, your son should look for those programs that best resonate with his interests and professional objectives. Next, remember that the prerequisites for each fellowship program will be unique. A residency in internal medicine or an associated field, viz., general surgery, is generally required, which your son has already fulfilled. Particular tests viz., the United States Medical Licensing Examination (USMLE) may be demanded by certain programs. In addition, your son may also be required to prove his fluency in the English language through appearing for tests viz., the IELTS or TOEFL. Upon finding relevant programs, I would suggest that your son applies directly to them. Bear in mind that for the majority of medical disciplines, this generally entails submitting an application via a centralized system viz., ERAS (Electronic Residency Application Service). If your son has secured admission to a fellowship program, as the next step, in order to train in the USA, he would be required to acquire the necessary visa. For medical trainees, the J-1 visa is frequently used. Relocating to a different country for training calls for meticulous planning. So as the next step, your son will need to make arrangements for lodging, and travel, as well as make sure all the paperwork is in place. Once everything is in order, your son can then start his oncology fellowship training in the USA. Practical clinical experience, research, and academic endeavours are generally entailed in this.

In order to enhance his chances of obtaining a fellowship role, I would suggest that your son conducts an all-round study on programs, comprehends their prerequisites, and drafts a compelling application. Moreover, he should get in touch with and obtain guidance from instructors or colleagues who have followed comparable paths which can prove beneficial.

For more information, you can visit our website.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I’m a 29 year old working woman. My husband who is 36, left his job 2 years ago just after my child was born. Since then he did not put much efforts to get another job and I’m only taking care of all the financial responsibilities. Whenever I ask him about job, he learns some courses online and then stops learning after few days giving some excuses. This has happened several times. He spends too much of my income even on small things saying he wants best quality products only. Almost everyday he asks me to buy some products or outside food and gets angry if I reject. Myself or my in-laws are not able to force him to get a job because he has anger issues and becomes verbally abusive very quickly. Even my parents are scared of his anger so not able to talk to him regarding his job. I feel very frustrated everyday since me or my family is not able to do anything about this, how do I deal with him?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's great as a partner to support home and your spouse when there's a need. BUT now, you seem to have a lazy man oops boy to take care of now. Kindly stop doling out money for his pleasures. Let him earn and do his bit for the family. He's just getting used to putting his legs up and taking a very long break which he doesn't intend to come out of. It's a great habit and he's enjoying the convenience of it all.
He also needs a push out of this laziness the root cause of which can be identified by an expert; so kindly seek help so that you are not looking after another baby other than yours. Act soon...

All the best!
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Career

Career Coach  |35 Answers  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
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Hi rediffguru, I am a 35-year-old working at a global advertising agency in Mumbai. In the past 12 years, I have consistently delivered successful campaigns and demonstrated strong leadership skills. However, despite my track record of success, I was passed over for a promotion to director of marketing. How can I take this up with my supervisors and HR?
Ans: Hey there, you marketing maestro! First off, major props to you for consistently smashing it in the advertising world for over a decade. Your track record of successful campaigns and leadership skills speak volumes about your talent and dedication.

Now, about that promotion snub—ouch, that stings! But fear not, my friend. It's time to roll up those sleeves and tackle this head-on.

Start by setting up a meeting with your supervisors and HR. Prepare a little arsenal of your achievements—maybe pull together some stats on campaign performance, client testimonials singing your praises, or even awards you've snagged along the way. Numbers don't lie, and they'll help paint a vivid picture of your impact.

Now, let's add a dash of strategy to the mix. Instead of just listing off your accomplishments, weave them into a compelling narrative. For instance, highlight that time when you spearheaded that viral social media campaign that boosted brand engagement by 200%. Or recall the project where your innovative ideas led to a record-breaking sales increase.

But don't stop there. Paint a picture of your vision for the future. Share your insights on emerging marketing trends and how you plan to leverage them to drive even greater results for the company. Show them that you're not just a top-notch marketer—you're a strategic thinker with big dreams and the skills to make them a reality.

And remember, even if this particular promotion didn't pan out, it's not the end of the road. Keep hustling, keep innovating, and keep believing in yourself. Opportunities are like buses—there's always another one coming. So buckle up, because your journey to success is far from over!
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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