Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |957 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 03, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Arjun Question by Arjun on Jun 23, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

After my father's death, all the goals of my life got washed away in Gangaji, my question is? For whom should life be lived, and what will we get from it?

Ans: Dear Arjun,
I am truly sorry for your loss! It is difficult to lose a loved one...but such is LIFE...

Start to rebuild your life.
Expand your friends circle and engage better with family members. It requires effort but it helps.
Celebrate the time and memories with your father. Remember his LIFE and the impact that he made on you and the world around him.

And lastly, Live for yourself...there's more that you need to do in this world and for yourself. Look around, there is always someone who might benefit from your presence.

All the best; love yourself even more!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |957 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 06, 2021

Relationship
Hello Anu Ma'am, I don't know where to start. I don't know if there is anything wrong with me at all. It all started on 4th of July 2012. My father passed away that afternoon. I have been a single child raised by a single parent. My mother passed away during my birth due to a medical error. During my early childhood my father was distant and alcoholic. We barely bonded. I was a studious child turned rebellion for no particular reason. Getting into wrong circumstances and with wrong people. By the time I was in 10th standard, me and dad had a bond. He shared his feelings of loneliness and disappointments from life, friend circle, work, extended family, etc. It made me judgmental and opinionated towards everything and everyone. I never connected with my extended family and neither did any one of them. I moved to Bangalore in 2007 for a better career upon his insistence. I had goals, ambitions and desires and a place in life where I wanted to be. But after his death, life has been a mess for the last 9 years. The untimely death took me away from completing my engineering degree. I drifted back to hometown in a desperate effort to safeguard the home he built, where I grew up. If I quantify my 20 years with dad, it would sum up to barely 5 years of happy time. Rest of it is just marred by alcohol, abuse on his part and mine, distance, periods of no conversation or connection. I came up with ideas to keep the home and still pursue whatever was left of my dream. But it didn't work. For instance, the neighbors created problems for the tenants who I bought for that home. Some of my father's friends and my own had vested interests in that house and constantly created hurdles which damaged my efforts in my very first job. The lawyer I hired to transfer the property to my name played her own tricks to take the house. Lengthy government procedures, bribery, setbacks resulted in me losing my focus on the second job as well. As a last resort, in 2017, I sold the home and planned to settle down in Bangalore for good cutting all my ties with the place I called home. This also affected my relationship as my fiance's father questioned his faith on me and finally got her married to a guy in the States. Over the last 5 years, my career has marched forward aggressively. I travel to places cherishing the things I wanted to do -- travel, eat and gather new experiences. But when I come back home, there is a void. I don't feel happy about how far I have come and achieved despite everything. There is no one around to share my thoughts and feelings. There is no space to let out and let go. I am in a constant state of breakdown. I want to cry but I rarely do. Those moments of childhood, the experience of his demise the after effects still have a hold over me. I have become skeptical of trusting people and letting them in and trusting them. Then there is my own regret of not finishing my engineering and working towards the life I wanted and setting down for a normal degree and corporate life. I have started to indulge in excessive travel and bouts of poetic rant to let the hurt out but now I feel it ain't working. It's becoming difficult for me everyday. I don't feel suicidal because I know I won't take that step. But I feel very very lost and unable to find a way to move forward. I feel I am just there in the crowd without a purpose. What should I do?
Ans: Dear R, I can only imagine what you feel this moment.

Well of course, no achievements can possibly ever substitute for the sense of belonging that you perhaps crave for.

It’s unfortunate that many known people have tried to claim a stake in the property and possibly it might have offered you a respite when you sold the house.

What remains of all that you have gone through is memories and those 5 beautiful years with your father.

What if you heightened the happiness level in those memories by seeing them clearly and reminiscing the celebration moments with your father?

It’s easy to harp on what went wrong or what could have been better? But can anything substitute the few yet meaningful years that you had with your father?

And when it comes to the void that you currently feel, I do feel that it’s time that you extended your social circle.

The world is well connected and there is much in common that you can have with people across the globe in terms of mutual interests and discussions.

Develop a hobby or do something that you love everyday and remember to be with Mother Nature often. It helps clear the mind and keep you grounded.

Lastly and importantly, think of how you can add value to another person’s life.

When we think of something beyond us, it fills us with a lot of positive feelings and keeps us motivated from within.

Life can be filled with remorse or joy; it’s only a matter of choice!

My best wishes to you!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |957 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 12, 2020

Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, I am 50, male, working in PSU and hail from a village background. My children are grown up now without having affection with their village roots. For me, it is disappointing as I do not feel connected to the city I am living in. Also, I do not find motivation to settle in the polluted city. Despite all odds, I still have longing for my village but have strong fear that I will be alone at the fag end of life. Even my wife do not support my idea to go back and live at a place where there is not medical facility. I ponder this issue again and again and fill with dissatisfaction by the very purpose of moving ahead in the life.
Ans: Dear PK, As hard as it may seem, children may not have the same level of fondness that you might have for your roots.

When we grow up in a place, you have associated memories there and people who were with you and that makes you feel nice about the place.

This may not be true for everyone especially children who have no associations to entice them into. It may be the same for your wife as well.

When they actually present an argument as to why they are not comfortable living in the village, do hear them out instead of feeling sad/disappointed.

When your wife expresses that she does not want to settle in a place where there are no medical facilities, isn’t she actually concerned for the both of your futures?

Is it perhaps time for you to think if you are allowing emotions to cloud a logical decision?

Settling down in a village especially after being in a city for a long time can be a very tough call to make; few have done it knowing that they may not have 24 hours of power or water supply or sanitation facilities, let alone, medical facilities.

Not everyone can and wants to.

What you perhaps crave for is peace and calmness of the village. Recreate it within your own home and surroundings.

Visit parks/nature area more often, meditate and visit your village as and when you can.

Ultimately, the decision of settling down in the future is a big one and it must be a joint decision from you and your wife.

Also, do consider the possibilities of the inability of children or relatives in visiting you due to the distance and their priorities. Be happy and decide to be happy where you are right now!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |957 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 42 year old married woman. I was attached to my father very much. I lost him suddenly in 2021 by covid. He was fit and fine. I never thought he could left us like this. I feel very lonely , empty & completely of no desire for anything in life. I feel guilty and bad that the way my father struggled alone in ICU ward in his final days & we could not do anything for him. No one could met him & even saw him. I could not hugged him & even touched his body to say to goodbye in crematorium. Life got completely changed for me now. I am doing a job in which I working for very long time but not getting noticed or promoted so I feel sidelined by my seniors. I feel no use to work there or even anywhere now. I feel mentally I am tired to handle any pressure now. I am thinking to quit it to get some mental peace but not sure what I will do in free time. I have few marriage issues also & don't have any kids. I want to spend time alone & not even with my husband. Now I just want to live my life peacefully & happily without expecting anything from anyone. Tell me if I am correct or need to improve my way of thinking.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly very sorry for your loss. It might have been very difficult at not having that closure right at the end to process your loss your way. I can only imagine what you must be going through even now.

This heavy heartedness has most likely caused you to lose interest in many things in life including your work life. Even things that were simple to handle might have become too much to deal with. You need to heal by grieving and slowly going into acceptance. Is this hard? Oh yes, but with the help of someone who specializes in grief counselling and therapy, you can heal through this. This doesn't mean that you have to forget your father; it only means you process what has happened to transition into a better mind space. This will help you get a grip over your life for what it is now and like all of us, you deserve to be happy and at peace. Do consider this option and see an expert; it will really help you...

All the best and do know that this too shall Pass!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |392 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

Listen
Career
Sir my son secured 2492 crl in jee advanced earlier he secured 99.6 percentile in mains what are the best options he should pursue
Ans: Manoj Sir, as he is Rank is good both in Main / Advanced, he can get in to any one of the top NITs or IITs depending upon his preferences for streams. However, please note, it will be slightly difficult to get high-in-demand streams like CSE, ECE, Mechanical (Core & Specialization for these Streams) with Top NITs / IITs. still he can try ECE / Mechanical etc. (or) CSE with 6th to 10th Top NITs/IITs. Please take into consideration Location & your Son's interest also. Whatever Institute / University & Branch your Son chooses, he should keep upgrading his skills from his 1st year itself till his Campus Placement during his last year, from LinkedIn, Coursera, NPTEL, Internshala etc. and / or any other online platforms, recommended by his College Faculties, to be COMPETENT among other Students.

All The BEST for your Son’s Bright Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs | Resume Writing | Profile Building | Salary Negotiation Skills | Building Professional LinkedIn Profile | Choosing Right School Board (State | Matriculation | CBSE | ICSE |International Board) | Student Psychological Counselling | Exam Preparation Techniques (Board | Entrance & Competitive)| Strategies to Attempt Exams | Job Interview Skills | Skill Upgrading | Parenting & Child Upbringing Skills | Career Transition | Abroad Education | Education Loan (India | Abroad) | Scholarship (India | Abroad) | SOP Writing Tips’, please FOLLOW me in RediffGURU here.

Nayagam PP |
EduJob360 |
CERTIFIED Career Coach | Career Guru |
https://www.linkedin.com/in/edujob360/

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |392 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

Listen
Career
Sir, pls advise between 1. NIEIT, Aurangabad in Electronic system engineering Or 2. SMVD univ. Katra in Eand C OR 3. NIE Mysore in CSE?
Ans: Amit, decide on these factors (1) ECE is slightly difficult than CSE. If you decide for ECE, number of recruiters will be comparatively lesser than CSE. And if you still want to switch over to Software by your 3rd & 4th year (with additional Certifications in Software), some software companies prefer even ECE Students and you can get campus placement (2) Location preference (3) Prefer either CSE or ECE over Electronic System Engineering. Whatever Institute / University & Branch you choose, you should keep upgrading your skills from his 1st year itself till your Campus Placement during your last year, from LinkedIn, Coursera, NPTEL, Internshala etc. and / or any other online platforms, recommended by your College Faculties, to be COMPETENT among other Students.

All The BEST for your Bright Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs | Resume Writing | Profile Building | Salary Negotiation Skills | Building Professional LinkedIn Profile | Choosing Right School Board (State | Matriculation | CBSE | ICSE |International Board) | Student Psychological Counselling | Exam Preparation Techniques (Board | Entrance & Competitive)| Strategies to Attempt Exams | Job Interview Skills | Skill Upgrading | Parenting & Child Upbringing Skills | Career Transition | Abroad Education | Education Loan (India | Abroad) | Scholarship (India | Abroad) | SOP Writing Tips’, please FOLLOW me in RediffGURU here.

Nayagam PP |
EduJob360 |
CERTIFIED Career Coach | Career Guru |
https://www.linkedin.com/in/edujob360/

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |392 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 16, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
Hi sir, my son got 9323 rank in comedk and 23350 rank in KCET. As per last year cutoff he may get Mechanical seat in BMS or MSRIT. Please suggest which one is good for Mechanical engineering
Ans: Both are equally good for Mechanical. Some factors to keep in mind before choosing either college for your Son: (1) Location Preference (2) Will stay in Hostel (or) study as Day Scholar (3) Your affordability for fees (if there is a major difference in fees between these 2 colleges & (4) Availability of transport from your home to college. Whatever Institute / University & Branch your Son chooses, he should keep upgrading his skills from his 1st year itself till his Campus Placement during his last year, from LinkedIn, Coursera, NPTEL, Internshala etc. and / or any other online platforms, recommended by his College Faculties, to be COMPETENT among other Students.

All The BEST for your Son’s Bright Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs | Resume Writing | Profile Building | Salary Negotiation Skills | Building Professional LinkedIn Profile | Choosing Right School Board (State | Matriculation | CBSE | ICSE |International Board) | Student Psychological Counselling | Exam Preparation Techniques (Board | Entrance & Competitive)| Strategies to Attempt Exams | Job Interview Skills | Skill Upgrading | Parenting & Child Upbringing Skills | Career Transition | Abroad Education | Education Loan (India | Abroad) | Scholarship (India | Abroad) | SOP Writing Tips’, please FOLLOW me in RediffGURU here.

Nayagam PP |
EduJob360 |
CERTIFIED Career Coach | Career Guru |
https://www.linkedin.com/in/edujob360/

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |392 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 16, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
I'm a girl from Jharkhand, I got 91.87%ile in jee mains, crl 1.22 lakh, category rank 40k. In which counselling program should I apply for and what colleges can I get at this rank? Is there any chance to get colleges through board %age as I got 95% in CBSE class XII
Ans: With your CBSE marks and Category Rank, you can try with any one of the top Private Colleges. And, try NIT Tier 2 Institutes. However, you have to compromise on the Stream or NIT Location you prefer. Whatever Institute / University / Branch / Domain you choose, keep upgrading your skills from 1st year itself till your Campus Placement during your last year, from LinkedIn, NPTEL, Coursera, Internshala etc. and / or any other online platforms, recommended by your College Faculties, to be COMPETENT among other Students, for jobs.

All The BEST for your Bright Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs | Resume Writing | Profile Building | Salary Negotiation Skills | Building Professional LinkedIn Profile | Choosing Right School Board (State | Matriculation | CBSE | ICSE |International Board) | Student Psychological Counselling | Exam Preparation Techniques (Board | Entrance & Competitive)| Job Interview Skills | Skill Upgrading | Parenting & Child Upbringing Skills | Career Transition | Abroad Education | Education Loan (India | Abroad) | Scholarship (India | Abroad)’, please FOLLOW me in RediffGURU here.

Nayagam PP |
EduJob360 |
CERTIFIED Career Coach
https://www.linkedin.com/in/edujob360/

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |392 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 16, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
My daughter scored 251 in BITSAT, and 25k in jee mains. She is getting mechanical and chemical in warangal nit. What should we do?
Ans: Order of Preference , keeping in view his Score / Ranks, for online counselling (1) BITS-Pilani for Mechanical | MSc (if she prefers) (2) NIT-Mechanical with Warrangal (2) BITS-Hyderabad (Electrical & Electronics | Electronics & Instrumentation | MSc Courses (3) BITS-Goa - (Mechanical | Electrical & Electronics | Electronics & Communication | Electronics & Instrumentation | MSc Courses). (4) NIT-Chemical with Warrangal. Before taking final decision to the most suitable option, please consider some important factors such as (1) Her interest for Stream & (2) Location Preference. Whatever Institute / University & Branch your Son chooses, she should keep upgrading her skills from his 1st year itself till his Campus Placement during her last year, from LinkedIn, Coursera, NPTEL, Internshala etc. and / or any other online platforms, recommended by her College Faculties, to be COMPETENT among other Students.

All The BEST for your Daughter’s Bright Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs | Resume Writing | Profile Building | Salary Negotiation Skills | Building Professional LinkedIn Profile | Choosing Right School Board (State | Matriculation | CBSE | ICSE |International Board) | Student Psychological Counselling | Exam Preparation Techniques (Board | Entrance & Competitive)| Strategies to Attempt Exams | Job Interview Skills | Skill Upgrading | Parenting & Child Upbringing Skills | Career Transition | Abroad Education | Education Loan (India | Abroad) | Scholarship (India | Abroad) | SOP Writing Tips’, please FOLLOW me in RediffGURU here.

Nayagam PP |
EduJob360 |
CERTIFIED Career Coach | Career Guru |
https://www.linkedin.com/in/edujob360/

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |392 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

Listen
Career
Hi,My son got sandip University nashik cse (AIMl) is it good college to go for his studies or else need to try another colleges in Bangalore??
Ans: Raju Sir, you have asked the need for Bengaluru Colleges. If your son has appeared for COMEDK or any other Private Colleges' its own entrance exams, better he tries through them. It depends upon your son's Rank / Score & the streams he prefers. Recommended before your son goes for Sandip University (if he has no other option, as time is very less now). Whatever Institute / University & Branch your Son chooses, he should keep upgrading his skills from his 1st year itself till his Campus Placement during his last year, from LinkedIn, Coursera, NPTEL, Internshala etc. and / or any other online platforms, recommended by his College Faculties, to be COMPETENT among other Students.

All The BEST for your Son’s Bright Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs | Resume Writing | Profile Building | Salary Negotiation Skills | Building Professional LinkedIn Profile | Choosing Right School Board (State | Matriculation | CBSE | ICSE |International Board) | Student Psychological Counselling | Exam Preparation Techniques (Board | Entrance & Competitive)| Strategies to Attempt Exams | Job Interview Skills | Skill Upgrading | Parenting & Child Upbringing Skills | Career Transition | Abroad Education | Education Loan (India | Abroad) | Scholarship (India | Abroad) | SOP Writing Tips’, please FOLLOW me in RediffGURU here.

Nayagam PP |
EduJob360 |
CERTIFIED Career Coach | Career Guru |
https://www.linkedin.com/in/edujob360/

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |392 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x