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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1503 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 16, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Dear expert, I am married for last almost 12 years and having a son. It is an arranged marriage. Before getting married, I was informed by my wife's relatives (uncles, aunts, wife's brothers, sister etc) that they do not have any relations with her husband as he had abandoned his kids (post-death of her wife and got re-married without family consent). After almost 4 years of our marriage, my wife and her relatives accepted him. Now, my wife has left my house leaving (third time) me and my son but, ready to return with the condition that I and my family MUST accept her father in our life and house else she would not return (emotional blackmailing!). She is planning to forcefully bring her uncles, father and other relatives for a discussion at my home. There is no doubt that I will entertain them or discuss anything with them as her father had abused my entire family in the past. In turn, I have searched a rented house and will shift without any fights with anyone. Am I heading a right direction?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
family feuds can really break a marriage.
Ask yourself: What is more important to me?
Is it my marriage or the battle that I need to have with my wife's family?

You mostly likely will say: Marriage!
I agree that they have been unreasonable (especially with your wife walking out) but how you deal with people acting unreasonable is countering it with a lot of sensible patience. No decisions made on a whim or on an impulse, but well-thought out and rational thinking is what will help at this time. Someone has to act responsibly and I ask that person to be YOU!
So, it's not about fights etc, shift to the rented house not as an emotional decision but think about using that to make a statement. Your wife also needs to understand that she cannot act irresponsibly and not think about how it impacts your child.

Seek out the help of elders in your family as well since your wife's family is a huge force now. This is not to fight but for the elders to appeal at their level and get things smoothened out. This can pave a way to you and your wife having a chance to straighten things out within your marriage as well.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1503 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2023

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**JAY*JAGANNATH**, Wishing You For **HAPPY*JANMASHTAMI**, I'm based in Mumbai, but lives in Puri, Odisha, because of **LORD*JAGANNATHA**, Since, I'm a Business Analyst,, not yet Started my Practice,, i had a arrange marriage in my own caste with rest was OK, after reading some of Your advises and type of case,, i became enthusiast to know about my personal disturbances in my family. We live Seperate with my Only 18+Son, Studing & Preparing for Entrance Test via Online.., she is in Guwahati,, working under at a Private Retail Management co., ME & MY FAMILY Severally attempted & requested her and her family too, to Come back & Join to my family for living together,, but when failed,, i encourage her OK live there,, as because after failing an attempt of school transfer due to language issue for a subject like Marathi in Upper classes,, Thus, i stopped disturbing her as well as my son's study. During initial level of Separation,, their family (ELDERS) requested me will handover my family (wife & Son),, if i Pay them(wife& Son) their expenses for a Full Year., that was happened when i reached for an attempt to Convince My Wife and their family to adjoin with me & with my family activity, that was Probably in 2010-11 somewhere in between,, i was Hr. Manager in a Cement Co. in Meghalaya. I agreed too & and Provide as per for a Year. But, while passing a year they became Silent.., not hardcovered my family. till as on date,, i am alone..! She & Elder Sister & the brother-in-law Says they won't divorce nor will allow to handover,, i said why..! The Starting of a Quarrel was with a Issue of Changing my Mental Perception,, while they tried to Implement me with Saying a FALSE PLAN,, but, i Caught their Such Attempt,, MY Mrs. later She admitted that, they tried it because of if I get my Changes in me & to take my decision well for my Next career. Since, i born & brought up in Guwahati, i had a Soft corner for North-East always,, which was happened after 15yrs of long Struggle in Mumbai,, i Stand on my own feet with My Own Struggle & a house for my Stability etc. After Marriage of a Assam Lady only it was a Scope again to Reach Assam.. So, i thought, if i can Start Something a great Project with in & around of North-East. But, that became a bad experience for me as on till. I arrived Recently too, to Convince her,, Come & Join me,, Rest all Hurdle i will Handle,, Now, No more My father also expired, a Retired. Rly Officer,, Parents too visited Severally Assam to Convince them but failed,, I always feel i am alone,, what to do with,, I am a family Oriented Person,, love to keep Relation Well with either Side Well. But, not happening. What to Do Now,, Kindly tell Your Opinion on this,, I am Ready to Take Your Nobly too, Recently, I took little advise from a Legal Family Court Councillor at Guwahati, & their one of Next Door Reputed Lady Neighbour(Who Co-ordinated & Represent too for the Local area of their & for their Constituency during Elections & their any function of their Locality,, a well known in their Locality for a Good behaviour too),, I meet & Spoke to her Severally,, She herself Visited too & found My Wife Not behaving Normally & Cool,, a Raugh behaved Lady, She found & She Said, a disrespected Lady means not Gentle,, i Personally Visited Mumbai at her elder Sister's home too,, during yr.2015,, while in entrance,, the brother-in-law resisted me NOT to Enter,, from the door only i came back. Not meet even & had NO Talk,, while after little a distance i covered from their residence,, i found they again recalling me to Come & Visit. But, I found myself very off mooded, & not visited till as on & till date,, because. they only Created the False Nuisances' with their Plan,, which not became A Success.. they Caught. But, they were Proposer of Our both Relation. But, I want a Justice with this,, Since, I am a Simple & Honest,, Very Straight forwarded with Cut to throat Person..in my Nature,, Soft & Spiritual. Since, Many Years Now Connected to Krishna Consciousness too,, that is why for love & affection i am here at PURI. Kindly, Let me Know Your Precious Opinion by which I can Come out with my Loneliness. **HARE*KRISHNA** Thanking you, With Regards, Surajit Bhattacharjee, In Case if You have a Plan to Visit Puri, Odisha,, Kindly, Let me Know Your Date & Place to See **MAHABAHU**JAGANNATHA*,, You may Send by Your family & friends too with Prior Advance & info.
Ans: Dear Surajit,
Thank you for the festive wishes and thank you for the invite to visit Odisha.

Your situations suggests that much time has passed with no action. Long distance relationships are not easy and require immense maturity and agreement and a lot of trust to keep the marriage going.

What is the reason that your wife does not want to come back now? Your son is already 18 years and is old enough to get into a professional college now...What has happened in all these years that she finds it better living with her side of the better than making her own family come together?

Have the two of you had time to have a private conversation without the interference from anyone else?
Make that honest attempt and appeal to her that you would like the family to get back together. But also be prepared if she says NO as that has been her stance all these years... then please move on...it is difficult but will be better for your physical and mental health.

All the best!

..Read more

Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Dear expert, I am married for last almost 12 years and having a son. It is an arranged marriage. Before getting married, I was informed by my wife's relatives (uncles, aunts, wife's brothers, sister etc) that they do not have any relations with her FATHER as he had abandoned his kids (post-death of her wife and got re-married without family consent). After almost 4 years of our marriage, my wife and her relatives accepted him. Now, my wife has left my house leaving (third time) me and my son but, ready to return with the condition that I and my family MUST accept her father in our life and house else she would not return (emotional blackmailing!). She is planning to forcefully bring her uncles, father and other relatives for a discussion at my home. There is no doubt that I will entertain them or discuss anything with them as her father had abused my entire family in the past. In turn, I have searched a rented house and will shift without any fights with anyone. Am I heading a right direction?
Ans: He is her father. To maintain relations with him or not should be her prerogative, not yours. I can understand that he may have wronged you in the past, but maybe he wants to make amends. Shouldn’t he be allowed an opportunity to do so? Would you cut all ties with your parents at the behest of your wife? I don’t think so. Family ties can be complicated; be the bigger man here, and accept harmony. You don’t have to become his best friend, just be civil and extend the courtesy he deserves as your wife’s father. Your job is to support her, not make life difficult for her. It sounds like she has been through a lot as a child.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |538 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 26, 2024

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Relationship
Hi I am 40 yrs with wife and kid of 7 yrs. My problem is family oriented. I have three sister, elder two sisters are well married and settled. My younger sister had an arrange marriage in 2004 and she had a divorce in 2011. With that marriage she has a boy child who is almost 18 now and too lazy, she as per her will did an intercaste love marriage in court in 2015 without informing anyone. I used to stay away in delhi and my parents and eldest sister(at her in laws place) in kolkata and d youngest married d guy 2 km from parents house. In 2017 i shifted back to kolkata as my wife was pregnant, so we took a decision dat now it would be better to stay in joint family as d kid will get grand parents and we will also serve my parents, but my youngest sister had a very bad habit of calling my mom every day almost 5-7 times and coming to parental house every alternate days which i rrsisted and i faced backlash from my parents and her too. Then suddenly things changed her husband became a very rowdy person and started beating her as she narrated and she came back to parental house with two kids one was from previous husband and one was from d court love marriage, now she stays in same flat where my parents stays. In 2017 aug my kid was born in 2019 she came back and den i again decided to leave house with my wife and kid as it was 2 bhk flat and all people flocked there as if ut was a zoo so i decided to leave with my family and we moved to ujjain and started living peacefully. Reason for leaving was my younger sis her eldest son and my dad has a very bad habit of shouting arguing nd fighting means domestic violence which i have seen in my childhood days even wen my dad used to do violence with my mom. Now i say her to take divorce and stay with parents or go back to her husbamd or where ever she wants. My dad is retired with a fixed income of around 20k per month. My sis and her son stays at home uses all facilities of home whereas when i shifted to ujjain i did all hardships and built my rented flat. Used to sleep on floor slowly we both husband wife worked hard and bought bed, kitchen utensils fridge and tv. Now my concern is she is not taking divorce and fully dependent on my father. She and her son both earn almost 35k together but their contribution towards house is big Zero towards ration is ZEro yes for basic dey dont pay anythng but like she pays for her small child school fees almost 3000 and whatever dey feel like eating extra den normal homely food she brings for her kids. As she is not taking divorce what can be main reason and future consequences to my kid and my life and my mom and dad have just become a free maid for her kids, my sis does all masti and roams freely till 9 pm without any concern for her kids as my mom is behind as maid to take care. Means my mom and dad have no saving cz of her and no personal life nor any social life cz dey have to take d youngest kid along with dem. My dad is 70 diabetic mom is 65 undergone bypass. Wen i say cz of yoi came back i have to leave dat house she says did i hold ur hand and say to go out. Where as i needed peace but i also need my parents as i want to take care of dem cz she treats dem like servants only. And my parentz dont understand dis dey hav soft cornor for her. She is like deemak but dey dont understand. Kindly guide me.
Ans: Your situation is complex, involving familial responsibilities and personal peace. To address it, start by understanding your sister's reasons for not seeking a divorce. Consider engaging a professional family counselor to mediate and provide support for everyone involved. Legally, explore the options available for ensuring she contributes financially to the household.

Your priority should be to protect your parents' well-being and your own family's stability. If your sister continues to burden your parents without contributing, it might be necessary to seek legal advice on how to manage this dependency. You may also need to discuss with your parents the importance of setting boundaries to ensure their health and financial security. Balancing compassion with firm boundaries is key to resolving these issues while maintaining family harmony.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7953 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 13, 2025Hindi
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Money
Why do Debt Funds offer lower returns as compared to Equity Mutual Funds?
Ans: Debt funds and equity mutual funds serve different purposes in an investor's portfolio. Debt funds offer stability and lower risk, while equity mutual funds focus on high growth with higher risk.

Below are the key reasons why debt funds provide lower returns than equity funds.

1. Nature of Underlying Investments
Debt funds invest in bonds, government securities, corporate debt, and fixed-income instruments.

These instruments provide fixed interest, leading to predictable but lower returns.

Equity mutual funds invest in company stocks, which have the potential for higher capital appreciation over time.

2. Risk-Return Tradeoff
Lower risk means lower return potential in debt funds.

Debt investments focus on preserving capital rather than aggressive growth.

Equities are volatile, but over the long term, they tend to generate higher returns.

3. Interest Rate Sensitivity
Debt fund returns depend on interest rate movements in the economy.

Rising interest rates reduce bond prices, lowering returns in debt funds.

Equity funds are less impacted by interest rate changes and benefit from economic growth.

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Debt funds often fail to beat inflation in the long run.

Equity investments provide inflation-adjusted growth due to rising corporate earnings.

Holding equities for longer durations results in compounding benefits.

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Debt instruments provide fixed interest, which limits potential upside.

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Debt fund gains are taxed as per the investor’s income tax slab, reducing post-tax returns.

This tax treatment makes equities more attractive for long-term wealth creation.

7. Market Performance
During economic growth, companies generate higher profits, leading to higher equity returns.

Debt fund returns depend on interest rate cycles, making them less rewarding in growth periods.

Equities have historically outperformed debt over longer durations.

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Debt funds provide safety and stability but offer lower returns.

Equity mutual funds outperform over time due to business expansion and compounding.

A well-balanced portfolio should include both debt and equity, based on financial goals.

Best Regards,

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www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Harsh Bharwani  |75 Answers  |Ask -

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Sir I am a Engineer by profession snd working in Qatar. Same time i had Cost accountant Degree and passed out way back at 2009. After that no touch with Cost Accounts. Now i am 48 yrs and after few yrs i want to move back to India. But that time if want open a cost accounting firm, what would be the best move i can do to open the consulting firm?
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Reestablishing your career in cost accounting and setting up a consulting firm in India requires careful planning. Start by updating your knowledge through ICAI’s continuing education programs, industry seminars, and professional courses to stay current with evolving regulations and industry practices. Reactivating your ICAI membership and obtaining a Certificate of Practice (CoP) is essential to offer consulting services legally. While still in Qatar, gaining practical exposure by offering freelance or part-time cost auditing or GST advisory services to Indian firms will help establish credibility.

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Investing in technology and infrastructure is crucial. Setting up a professional office, adopting modern accounting software, and leveraging cloud-based financial solutions will enhance efficiency. Building a strong professional network is equally important - reconnect with former colleagues, join industry associations, attend networking events, and establish a digital presence through a website and social media to attract clients.

Lastly, focus on compliance and quality assurance. Adhering to ICAI regulations, tax laws, and ethical standards is critical for maintaining credibility and trust. By systematically following these steps, you can successfully transition back into cost accounting and establish a reputable consulting firm in India, ensuring a stable and rewarding career.

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Milind Vadjikar  |1013 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Feb 13, 2025

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Ans: Hello;

Regarding plan migration feasibility you may check with your insurer/insurance agent.

If you want to inform the insurer about your later acquired illness you may furnish the details to them as per their requirement and check their feedback on the same.

Their feedback will decide your next course of action.

Best wishes;

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