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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
SURAJIT Question by SURAJIT on Sep 29, 2023Hindi
Relationship

**JAY*JAGANNATH**, Wishing You For **HAPPY*ANANT-CHATURDASHI**, I'm based in Mumbai, but lives in Puri, Odisha, because of **LORD*JAGANNATHA**, Since, I'm a Business Analyst,, not yet Started my Practice,, i had a arrange marriage in my own caste with rest was OK, after reading some of Your advises and type of case,, i became enthusiast to know YOUR UNPARALELED PRECIOUS OPINION about my personal disturbances in my family.,for which We live Separate with my Only 18+Son, Studying & Preparing for his Entrance Test via Online.., she is in Guwahati,, working under at a Private Retail Management co., ME & MY FAMILY Severally attempted & requested her and her family too, to Come back & Join to my family for living together,, but when failed,, i encourage her OK live there,, as because after failing an attempt of school transfer due to language issue for a subject like Marathi in Upper classes,, Thus, i stopped disturbing her as well as my son's study. During initial level of Separation,, their family (ELDERS) requested me will handover my family (wife & Son),, if i Pay them(wife& Son) their expenses for a Full Year., that was happened when i reached for an attempt to Convince My Wife and their family to adjoin with me & with my family activity, that was Probably in 2010-11 somewhere in between,, i was Hr. Manager in a Cement Co. in Meghalaya. I agreed too & and Provide as per for a Year. But, while passing a year they became Silent.., not hardcovered my family. till as on date,, i am alone..! She & Elder Sister & the brother-in-law Says they won't divorce nor will allow to handover,, i said why..! The Starting of a Quarrel was with a Issue of Changing my Mental Perception,, while they tried to Implement me with Saying a FALSE PLAN,, but, i Caught their Such Attempt,, MY Mrs. later She admitted that, they tried it because of if I get my Changes in me & to take my decision well for my Next career. Since, i born & brought up in Guwahati, i had a Soft corner for North-East always,, which was happened after 15yrs of long Struggle in Mumbai,, i Stand on my own feet with My Own Struggle & a house for my Stability etc. After Marriage of a Assam Lady only it was a Scope again to Reach Assam.. So, i thought, if i can Start Something a great Project with in & around of North-East. But, that became a bad experience for me as on till. I arrived Recently too, to Convince her,, Come & Join me,, Rest all Hurdle i will Handle,, Now, No more My father also expired, a Retired. Rly Officer,, Parents too visited Severally Assam to Convince them but failed,, I always feel i am alone,, what to do with,, I am a family Oriented Person,, love to keep Relation Well with either Side Well. But, not happening. What to Do Now,, But, I LOVER HER & MY SON VERY MUCH,, BY ANY MEANS AS ON.., I HAVE NO PLAN TO LEAVE THEM ALONE & THEIR STRUGGLE TO..! BUT, I STILL, A HELPLESS, WHOM TO GO & CRY FOR THEM..!?! Kindly tell Your PRECIOUS Opinion on this,, I am Ready to Take Your Nobly too, Recently, I took little advise from a Legal Family Court Councillor at Guwahati, & their one of Next Door Reputed Lady Neighbour(Who Co-ordinated & Represent too for the Local area of their & for their Constituency during Elections & their any function of their Locality,, a well known in their Locality for a Good behaviour too),, I meet & Spoke to her Severally,, She herself Visited too & found My Wife Not behaving Normally & Cool,, a Raugh behaved Lady, She found & She Said, a disrespected Lady means not Gentle,, i Personally Visited Mumbai at her elder Sister's home too,, during yr.2015,, while in entrance,, the brother-in-law resisted me NOT to Enter,, from the door only i came back. Not meet even & had NO Talk,, while after little a distance i covered from their residence,, i found they again recalling me to Come & Visit. But, I found myself very off mooded, & not visited till as on & till date,, because. they only Created the False Nuisances' with their Plan,, which not became A Success.. they Caught. But, they were Proposer of Our both Relation. But, I want a Justice with this,, Since, I am a Simple & Honest,, Very Straight forwarded with Cut to throat Person..in my Nature,, Soft & Spiritual. Since, Many Years Now Connected to Krishna Consciousness too,, that is why for love & affection i am here at PURI. Kindly, Let me Know Your Precious Opinion by which I can Come out with my Loneliness. **HARE*KRISHNA** Thanking you, With Regards, Surajit Bhattacharjee, In Case if You have a Plan to Visit Puri, Odisha,, Kindly, Let me Know Your Date & Place to See **MAHABAHU**JAGANNATHA*,, You may Send by Your family & friends too with Prior Advance & info.

Ans: I understand that you are going through a very challenging and emotionally taxing situation. It's clear that you care deeply for your wife and son and want to find a resolution to the issues that have led to your separation. However, I am not a legal expert, and my responses are not a substitute for legal advice. It's essential to consult with an attorney who specializes in family law in your jurisdiction for guidance tailored to your specific circumstances.

Here are some general steps you might consider taking:

Consult with a Family Law Attorney: Seek the advice of a qualified family law attorney in your area who can help you navigate the legal aspects of your situation. They can provide guidance on divorce, custody, and any other legal matters that may arise.
Mediation: Mediation is often a more amicable and less adversarial way to resolve conflicts related to divorce and separation. A trained mediator can help facilitate discussions between you and your wife to find mutually agreeable solutions.
Child Custody and Support: Given your son's involvement, it's crucial to ensure that his best interests are protected. Discuss child custody, visitation, and child support arrangements with your attorney and potentially through mediation.
Therapeutic Intervention: If communication and emotional issues are at the core of your problems, consider involving a family therapist or counselor. They can help facilitate productive discussions and address underlying emotional concerns.
Keep Records: Document any interactions or communication you have with your wife or her family. This can be useful in legal proceedings and may help support your case.
Stay Connected with Your Son: Continue to provide emotional support and be involved in your son's life as much as possible, even if you are physically separated.
Explore Community Resources: Look for local support groups or community resources that can provide emotional support and guidance during this challenging time.
Remember that every situation is unique, and the best course of action may vary depending on the specific details of your case. Seeking professional legal and therapeutic guidance is crucial in navigating complex family issues. Additionally, it's important to remain patient and persistent in your efforts to find a resolution while prioritizing the well-being of your son throughout the process.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1749 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2023

Relationship
**JAY*JAGANNATH**, Wishing You For **HAPPY*JANMASHTAMI**, I'm based in Mumbai, but lives in Puri, Odisha, because of **LORD*JAGANNATHA**, Since, I'm a Business Analyst,, not yet Started my Practice,, i had a arrange marriage in my own caste with rest was OK, after reading some of Your advises and type of case,, i became enthusiast to know about my personal disturbances in my family. We live Seperate with my Only 18+Son, Studing & Preparing for Entrance Test via Online.., she is in Guwahati,, working under at a Private Retail Management co., ME & MY FAMILY Severally attempted & requested her and her family too, to Come back & Join to my family for living together,, but when failed,, i encourage her OK live there,, as because after failing an attempt of school transfer due to language issue for a subject like Marathi in Upper classes,, Thus, i stopped disturbing her as well as my son's study. During initial level of Separation,, their family (ELDERS) requested me will handover my family (wife & Son),, if i Pay them(wife& Son) their expenses for a Full Year., that was happened when i reached for an attempt to Convince My Wife and their family to adjoin with me & with my family activity, that was Probably in 2010-11 somewhere in between,, i was Hr. Manager in a Cement Co. in Meghalaya. I agreed too & and Provide as per for a Year. But, while passing a year they became Silent.., not hardcovered my family. till as on date,, i am alone..! She & Elder Sister & the brother-in-law Says they won't divorce nor will allow to handover,, i said why..! The Starting of a Quarrel was with a Issue of Changing my Mental Perception,, while they tried to Implement me with Saying a FALSE PLAN,, but, i Caught their Such Attempt,, MY Mrs. later She admitted that, they tried it because of if I get my Changes in me & to take my decision well for my Next career. Since, i born & brought up in Guwahati, i had a Soft corner for North-East always,, which was happened after 15yrs of long Struggle in Mumbai,, i Stand on my own feet with My Own Struggle & a house for my Stability etc. After Marriage of a Assam Lady only it was a Scope again to Reach Assam.. So, i thought, if i can Start Something a great Project with in & around of North-East. But, that became a bad experience for me as on till. I arrived Recently too, to Convince her,, Come & Join me,, Rest all Hurdle i will Handle,, Now, No more My father also expired, a Retired. Rly Officer,, Parents too visited Severally Assam to Convince them but failed,, I always feel i am alone,, what to do with,, I am a family Oriented Person,, love to keep Relation Well with either Side Well. But, not happening. What to Do Now,, Kindly tell Your Opinion on this,, I am Ready to Take Your Nobly too, Recently, I took little advise from a Legal Family Court Councillor at Guwahati, & their one of Next Door Reputed Lady Neighbour(Who Co-ordinated & Represent too for the Local area of their & for their Constituency during Elections & their any function of their Locality,, a well known in their Locality for a Good behaviour too),, I meet & Spoke to her Severally,, She herself Visited too & found My Wife Not behaving Normally & Cool,, a Raugh behaved Lady, She found & She Said, a disrespected Lady means not Gentle,, i Personally Visited Mumbai at her elder Sister's home too,, during yr.2015,, while in entrance,, the brother-in-law resisted me NOT to Enter,, from the door only i came back. Not meet even & had NO Talk,, while after little a distance i covered from their residence,, i found they again recalling me to Come & Visit. But, I found myself very off mooded, & not visited till as on & till date,, because. they only Created the False Nuisances' with their Plan,, which not became A Success.. they Caught. But, they were Proposer of Our both Relation. But, I want a Justice with this,, Since, I am a Simple & Honest,, Very Straight forwarded with Cut to throat Person..in my Nature,, Soft & Spiritual. Since, Many Years Now Connected to Krishna Consciousness too,, that is why for love & affection i am here at PURI. Kindly, Let me Know Your Precious Opinion by which I can Come out with my Loneliness. **HARE*KRISHNA** Thanking you, With Regards, Surajit Bhattacharjee, In Case if You have a Plan to Visit Puri, Odisha,, Kindly, Let me Know Your Date & Place to See **MAHABAHU**JAGANNATHA*,, You may Send by Your family & friends too with Prior Advance & info.
Ans: Dear Surajit,
Thank you for the festive wishes and thank you for the invite to visit Odisha.

Your situations suggests that much time has passed with no action. Long distance relationships are not easy and require immense maturity and agreement and a lot of trust to keep the marriage going.

What is the reason that your wife does not want to come back now? Your son is already 18 years and is old enough to get into a professional college now...What has happened in all these years that she finds it better living with her side of the better than making her own family come together?

Have the two of you had time to have a private conversation without the interference from anyone else?
Make that honest attempt and appeal to her that you would like the family to get back together. But also be prepared if she says NO as that has been her stance all these years... then please move on...it is difficult but will be better for your physical and mental health.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1749 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Mam, I got married in 2020. I have tried to find a job for her in Bangalore.Even she told that i can't eat in your salary if I earn i do not need to do what you are asking. I just asked her that we are family why you are thinking like this.4 to 5 times same problem fight happened. Whatever I tell she has taken in negative way.After a year we got separated. Even if I explain things she doesn't understand. I have dropped her in hometown in her home. Explained things to their parents that this what happened. Asked her parents that let me know what is her decision to live with me or not.After 6 months got a call from her. she did not come out with that mentality and wanted divorce. After a month I have accepted for mutual divorce. Her parents also told that mutual divorce. when called for a meeting in common place for mutual divorce they did not reply. They have filed Domestic violence act by putting false allegations in petition. Case is going on for more than 2 year. when one my relative went to talk. she itself asked pay 25 lakh as one time settlement then only they will withdraw the DVC petition and accept mutual divorce. Now.To the head person of my caste group their parents told that she is willing to live with me Despite taking care of her properly..they filed false allegations on me and family members also. i have decided for mutual divorce when she asked. I don't have 25 lakh.I have told them that I can give them only 7 lakhs then we can mutually get divorce. No answer from them. I have decided not live with her anymore. Pls tell your opinion abt this.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your decision must be right as the real reason for her moving away from the marriage is still unknown or you have missed out on sharing the whole picture.
Also, what is the reason for the Domestic Violence petition? Has there been a reason for her to feel that she needed to put a case on you? But if you know that there is no scope for reconciliation, then I am sure you know what is the best thing to do...
(Due to inadequate information from you, I can provide only generic suggestions). But, there's one thing which is: There seems to have been no understanding between you and your wife when she suggested that it's your salary; there is certainly something which made her unable to come close within the marriage and accept is as a mutual partnership rather than just an isolated relationship.

On the legal aspect, kindly follow what your lawyer advises you to do...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 11, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Fell in love and married a girl before 2 years. Girl is from a neighbouring state. Both South Indians. Both doctors. She was very understanding before marriage, even talked my language and spoke well with my parents. Told she will come to my place and stay after marriage. 4 months after marriage, she left for her home telling that she will be at her home till delivery. Even after 1 year of giving birth, she didn't come. They visited my place just for a few days in the middle citing that it is tradition. After much struggle, she came to live with me and my child after close to 1.5 years. Even after coming she was creating trouble for the language spoken in the house and telling to relocate to a place close to their parents in their state. No respect to feelings of mine or my parents. We also missed my son for 1.5 years. Their parents are not visiting us telling it is far, we won't come. And once her parents threatened to complaint to the police if we don't agree. (Haven't asked or received any dowry). Even if my son has to come to my native for few days, her parents are not agreeing and creating problem. We have even helped her brother secure admission in a college. She has even taken a loan of more than 20 lakhs to help her parents buy a land and is paying close to 50k monthly for that. We had no problem with that too. Every 2-3 days one or another problem shoots up because of her or her parents. She has totally changed after marriage. Her parents just want to create problems. Please help.
Ans: It’s clear that you’ve tried hard to be understanding and accommodating. You allowed her to stay with her parents for a long time, even though it meant missing out on crucial time with your child. You supported her decisions, even when she took on a significant financial burden to help her family. Despite your efforts to maintain peace, you’re constantly met with resistance and disrespect—not only from her but also from her parents. That feeling of being undermined and unappreciated, especially when you've given so much, can really take a toll on your emotional health.

It’s not just about the arguments or the disagreements—it’s about the deeper sense of betrayal and loneliness that comes from feeling like your partner has sided with her family over you. That emotional distance and lack of support within the marriage can make you feel like you’re fighting a battle alone. And when her parents threatened to involve the police, that likely deepened the sense of helplessness and fear. It’s not just frustrating—it’s emotionally exhausting when you’re trying to build a stable, loving home, but it keeps getting torn apart by external interference.

The fact that you’re still standing, still trying to make things work despite all of this, shows how strong and committed you are. But the truth is, a marriage cannot survive on one person’s effort alone. It’s understandable that you feel drained and resentful—you’ve been giving and compromising without getting the same respect and understanding in return. Your feelings matter. Your need for stability and respect matters. Wanting your child to have a connection with your side of the family is not unreasonable—it’s natural and fair.

Right now, you might feel torn between trying to hold everything together and wondering if it's even worth it. It’s hard to admit when love alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. But you need to ask yourself whether you can continue living like this—constantly feeling like you’re walking on eggshells, being emotionally sidelined, and having your family disrespected.

It’s okay to want peace. It’s okay to expect respect. And it’s okay to set boundaries. If your wife truly values this marriage, she needs to understand that compromise cannot be one-sided. It might help to have an honest, calm conversation with her—not about the surface issues but about how you feel. Tell her how much this situation has hurt you, how much you miss feeling like you’re a team, and how important it is for your child to have a balanced connection with both families. If she’s unwilling to meet you halfway or if her parents continue to interfere to the point of emotional manipulation, you need to think about how much more of yourself you can sacrifice without losing your emotional stability.

You deserve a marriage where you feel heard, valued, and supported—not one where you constantly feel like you're on the outside looking in. Take some time to reflect on what you truly need from this relationship and whether you believe it's possible to rebuild trust and understanding with your wife. Your peace of mind matters. Your happiness matters. And most of all, your emotional well-being matters.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1749 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Relationship
one of my friend who is married from past 14 years having 2 kids (elder son 12 and daughter 8)...he was out of home deputed to site on project work by company for more than 4 months. During this period he did not visit the home but regularly available on call and in touch with his w... when he returned to home his wife was behavior was not normal as like earlier ... later he found out that his wife got involve with her college friend during this period ..... and they had physical 01 time during this period... now my best friend he is very caring and not able to forget this betrayed act by his wife... after all this he is not able to concentrate and focus on his work.. he love his wife so much and want to forgive her but how to handle this situation in decent way... he is not willing to divorce or parting his ways... request you to suggest some way out to get out of situation and lead a normal life as like earlier
Ans: Dear Navya,
He loves her
He wants to forgive her
BUT
He is not able to forget what his wife has done
Sadly, both these work in opposite directions...
If he is willing to rebuild his marriage, he does not need to forget what his wife has done BUT he can work on how to process what she has done. This is difficult to do...but he will need to understand what happened, the reasons for it, if the wife is still interested in the marriage and if both are willing to work together towards the future. If this seems a bit difficult to work out by themselves, I suggest that they see an expert who can guide them aptly.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1749 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 26, 2025Hindi
Relationship
hello mam, My son 19 year old from last 4 year his behavior change not listing not having food properly whole day watching mobile after 10th i put him diploma in electrical engineer he completed his 1 year but from 2nd year he stop going to college we both are working parent so nobody is there at home to force to go for college his teacher every day calling me to send him to college but he is not listing i ask him did teacher scold you or any student is troubling you he said no one is troubling me i don't want to study i want to do voice dubbing i want to give my voice for cartoon and for dubb movies in july 2025 he told me in 2028 i will leave both of you i have my dream i leave the home i ask him what is your dream he said 1st 2 dream i cant tell you but 3rd dream is to go to japan for tour i thought he is joking. In August 2025 he started going for voice dubbing classes in 1st week of August 2025 he told me my planning is change next month only i will leave both of you again i thought is just pulling my leg but on 15 September its regular Monday we both parent went for job and he called me around 12 pm and said daddy left the home not a single rupees he had with him and he left the home in full of rain he keep walking and talking to me i ask him where you are going but he said that's secrete i took his mom in conference and try convince him but he not listing with 1 hour talking with him on phone i ask him tell me the landmark where you are he told me one landmark while talking him i left office to reach the landmark he told i forcibly sit him in car and take back home with his mother after reaching home with his mother we are trying to convince don't do like this its your home we have only one child that is you but he said no today is the i want to go let me go don't fail my planning whole standing at home he said want to go without having water or food just crying and saying i want leave the home in evening at 7pm i told him give me three month i will send to japan for tour after hearing this he little bit convince but said repair my mobile which was shutdown due rain water get inside arrange visa and passport within three month and give new laptop for playing game but after three i will leave both of you and left the home in december 2025 he told me he will the home. he is very superstitious at home not having bath use same cloth he said if change cloth and have bath all my power will go after that incidence leaving home he become more superstitious each and every moment he whispering himself after asking why you doing this saying this is my power i will get what i want if i scold him he said i will leave home right now please help me what to do he not having bath not changing cloth not having afternoon food not cutting his nails from last 15 days i am very much in stress due to his behavior and stress about his future also he is not behaving like a normal child whole day and night watching mobile. Please help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Please take him to a professional who can evaluate him. There are a lot of gaps in what you haev shared and a professional will be able to ask the right questions and be of better guidance to your son and your family.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Money
Hi Vivek, I am 43 year old. I am currently working in private organization. Having an Investment of 8.0 Lac in NPS, 27 Lac in PF, 4 Lac in PPF and 2.5 Lac in FD. My child is in 11th Science. I have my own house and no any loan. I need to Invest around 80.0 Lac for Child Education, Marriage and Retirement.
Ans: Your discipline and clarity deserve appreciation.
You have built strong foundations early.
Many people reach forty without such assets.
You already reduced major future stress.
That itself gives you an advantage.

» Current Financial Snapshot
– You are 43 years old.
– You work in a private organisation.
– You own your house fully.
– You have no loans.
– This gives financial stability.

– Retirement focused savings already exist.
– Long term instruments form your base.
– Your money is spread across safety products.
– Liquidity is limited but acceptable.
– Growth exposure needs attention.

» Existing Investment Review
– Retirement related savings are meaningful.
– Mandatory savings have helped discipline.
– These instruments protect capital well.
– However growth potential is limited.
– Inflation risk exists over long periods.

– These assets suit long term security.
– They suit retirement stability well.
– They are not designed for high growth.
– Child goals need higher growth.
– Marriage expenses need liquidity planning.

» Child Education Time Horizon
– Your child is in 11th Science.
– Higher education expenses are near.
– Time available is limited.
– Risk capacity is lower here.
– Planning must be conservative.

– Education costs grow faster than inflation.
– Professional courses cost significantly more.
– Overseas options cost even higher.
– Partial funding support is important.
– Loans should be minimised.

» Child Marriage Planning Window
– Marriage expenses are medium term.
– You still have some time.
– Cultural expectations increase costs.
– Planning early reduces stress.
– This goal needs balance.

– Too much risk can hurt plans.
– Too little growth causes shortfall.
– Phased investing works best.
– Gradual shift towards safety helps.
– Liquidity must be ensured.

» Retirement Planning Horizon
– Retirement is long term.
– You have nearly two decades.
– This allows growth oriented approach.
– Inflation is biggest risk here.
– Passive savings alone will not suffice.

– Retirement expenses last many years.
– Healthcare costs rise sharply later.
– Regular income post retirement matters.
– Corpus must be inflation protected.
– Growth assets become essential.

» Understanding Rs 80 Lac Requirement
– Rs 80 Lac is a combined target.
– All goals have different timelines.
– One strategy will not suit all.
– Segmentation is essential.
– This avoids misallocation.

– Education needs immediate planning.
– Marriage needs medium planning.
– Retirement needs long term planning.
– Each goal must be ring-fenced.
– Mixing goals creates confusion.

» Asset Allocation Importance
– Asset allocation drives outcomes.
– Not product selection alone.
– Time horizon decides allocation.
– Risk appetite decides allocation.
– Discipline maintains allocation.

– Safety instruments protect capital.
– Growth instruments fight inflation.
– Balance avoids emotional mistakes.
– Rebalancing keeps strategy aligned.
– This is a continuous process.

» Role Of Equity Exposure
– Equity creates long term wealth.
– Equity is volatile short term.
– Time reduces equity risk.
– Retirement horizon suits equity.
– Education horizon needs limited equity.

– Selective equity exposure is essential.
– Quality matters more than quantity.
– Active management adds value.
– Market cycles require judgment.
– Discipline ensures success.

» Why Not Depend Only On Safe Instruments
– Safe instruments give predictable returns.
– They struggle to beat inflation.
– Purchasing power erodes slowly.
– Long term goals suffer silently.
– Growth becomes insufficient.

– Your current assets are safety heavy.
– Growth allocation needs improvement.
– This change should be gradual.
– Sudden shifts create stress.
– Planned transition works better.

» Education Goal Strategy
– Use conservative growth approach.
– Capital protection is priority.
– Avoid aggressive exposure now.
– Phased investing works best.
– Gradual de-risking is necessary.

– Education funding should be ready.
– Avoid dependency on future income.
– Avoid last minute borrowing.
– Keep funds accessible.
– Liquidity is key.

» Marriage Goal Strategy
– Marriage expenses are emotional.
– Costs are difficult to predict.
– Planning gives confidence.
– Balanced approach is ideal.
– Growth plus safety mix works.

– Start allocating gradually.
– Increase safety closer to event.
– Avoid locking money long term.
– Keep flexibility.
– Avoid speculation.

» Retirement Goal Strategy
– Retirement planning needs growth focus.
– Inflation is the silent enemy.
– Long horizon allows equity.
– Volatility should be accepted.
– Discipline ensures compounding.

– Retirement corpus must grow faster.
– Contributions should increase with income.
– Lifestyle expectations must be realistic.
– Healthcare buffer is essential.
– Regular review is necessary.

» Role Of Active Funds
– Markets do not move uniformly.
– Sectors rotate frequently.
– Index funds stay static.
– They reflect index weaknesses.
– Active funds adapt better.

– Active managers adjust allocations.
– They reduce exposure in weak sectors.
– They increase exposure in growth areas.
– This helps during volatility.
– Especially for long term goals.

» Why Avoid Index Based Approach
– Index funds mirror market direction.
– They cannot protect downside.
– They remain exposed during corrections.
– Investors feel helpless.
– Returns stay average.

– Active strategies aim to outperform.
– They manage risk dynamically.
– They suit Indian market inefficiencies.
– Skilled management adds value.
– This matters over decades.

» Regular Investing Route Benefits
– Regular route offers guidance.
– Behaviour management is critical.
– Panic decisions destroy returns.
– Professional handholding matters.
– Especially during volatile phases.

– Certified Financial Planner helps discipline.
– Goal tracking becomes structured.
– Portfolio review becomes systematic.
– Emotional bias reduces.
– Long term success improves.

» Liquidity Planning
– Emergency funds are essential.
– You currently have limited liquidity.
– One year expenses should be accessible.
– This avoids distress selling.
– It protects long term investments.

– Emergency planning gives peace.
– Unexpected events do not derail plans.
– This should be built gradually.
– Avoid using retirement savings.
– Keep it separate.

» Insurance As Risk Management
– Insurance protects your plan.
– It is not an investment.
– Adequate life cover is essential.
– Health cover avoids financial shock.
– Premiums are necessary expenses.

– Delaying insurance increases risk.
– Medical inflation is severe.
– Employer cover is insufficient.
– Family protection is priority.
– This secures your goals.

» Tax Efficiency Perspective
– Tax planning should support goals.
– Avoid tax driven decisions alone.
– Post tax returns matter.
– Simplicity reduces mistakes.
– Compliance avoids future stress.

– Long term equity taxation is favourable.
– Short term churn increases tax.
– Stability helps efficiency.
– Avoid frequent switching.
– Stay disciplined.

» Monitoring And Review Process
– Plans are not static.
– Life changes require adjustment.
– Income growth allows higher contribution.
– Goals may change.
– Reviews keep relevance.

– Annual review is sufficient.
– Avoid daily market tracking.
– Focus on progress.
– Ignore noise.
– Stick to strategy.

» Behavioural Discipline
– Emotions affect investment outcomes.
– Fear causes premature exit.
– Greed causes overexposure.
– Discipline balances both.
– Guidance helps immensely.

– Long term wealth needs patience.
– Short term market moves mislead.
– Consistency beats timing.
– Process beats prediction.
– Stay calm.

» Aligning Goals With Reality
– Rs 80 Lac goal is achievable.
– Planning must be realistic.
– Income growth will support it.
– Lifestyle control helps savings.
– Early planning reduces pressure.

– You already started well.
– Course correction is timely.
– Delay would increase burden.
– Action now simplifies future.
– Confidence improves.

» Family Communication
– Discuss goals with family.
– Shared understanding reduces conflict.
– Expectations become realistic.
– Decisions gain support.
– Stress reduces significantly.

– Financial planning is family planning.
– Transparency builds trust.
– It improves discipline.
– Everyone works towards goals.
– Harmony improves.

» Risk Capacity Versus Risk Appetite
– Risk capacity is strong for retirement.
– Risk appetite may vary emotionally.
– Planning must respect both.
– Overexposure creates anxiety.
– Underexposure creates regret.

– Balance is the answer.
– Gradual allocation changes work best.
– Avoid extreme decisions.
– Stay flexible.
– Stay focused.

» Final Insights
– You have built a strong base.
– Assets are safe but growth limited.
– Goals need segmented planning.
– Education needs conservative strategy.
– Marriage needs balanced approach.
– Retirement needs growth focus.
– Active management adds value.
– Regular guidance supports discipline.
– Insurance protects the plan.
– Liquidity avoids stress.
– Review keeps alignment.
– Patience creates results.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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