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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
SURAJIT Question by SURAJIT on Sep 06, 2023Hindi
Relationship

**JAY*JAGANNATH**, Wishing You For **HAPPY*JANMASHTAMI**, I'm based in Mumbai, but lives in Puri, Odisha, because of **LORD*JAGANNATHA**, Since, I'm a Business Analyst,, not yet Started my Practice,, i had a arrange marriage in my own caste with rest was OK, after reading some of Your advises and type of case,, i became enthusiast to know about my personal disturbances in my family. We live Seperate with my Only 18+Son, Studing & Preparing for Entrance Test via Online.., she is in Guwahati,, working under at a Private Retail Management co., ME & MY FAMILY Severally attempted & requested her and her family too, to Come back & Join to my family for living together,, but when failed,, i encourage her OK live there,, as because after failing an attempt of school transfer due to language issue for a subject like Marathi in Upper classes,, Thus, i stopped disturbing her as well as my son's study. During initial level of Separation,, their family (ELDERS) requested me will handover my family (wife & Son),, if i Pay them(wife& Son) their expenses for a Full Year., that was happened when i reached for an attempt to Convince My Wife and their family to adjoin with me & with my family activity, that was Probably in 2010-11 somewhere in between,, i was Hr. Manager in a Cement Co. in Meghalaya. I agreed too & and Provide as per for a Year. But, while passing a year they became Silent.., not hardcovered my family. till as on date,, i am alone..! She & Elder Sister & the brother-in-law Says they won't divorce nor will allow to handover,, i said why..! The Starting of a Quarrel was with a Issue of Changing my Mental Perception,, while they tried to Implement me with Saying a FALSE PLAN,, but, i Caught their Such Attempt,, MY Mrs. later She admitted that, they tried it because of if I get my Changes in me & to take my decision well for my Next career. Since, i born & brought up in Guwahati, i had a Soft corner for North-East always,, which was happened after 15yrs of long Struggle in Mumbai,, i Stand on my own feet with My Own Struggle & a house for my Stability etc. After Marriage of a Assam Lady only it was a Scope again to Reach Assam.. So, i thought, if i can Start Something a great Project with in & around of North-East. But, that became a bad experience for me as on till. I arrived Recently too, to Convince her,, Come & Join me,, Rest all Hurdle i will Handle,, Now, No more My father also expired, a Retired. Rly Officer,, Parents too visited Severally Assam to Convince them but failed,, I always feel i am alone,, what to do with,, I am a family Oriented Person,, love to keep Relation Well with either Side Well. But, not happening. What to Do Now,, Kindly tell Your Opinion on this,, I am Ready to Take Your Nobly too, Recently, I took little advise from a Legal Family Court Councillor at Guwahati, & their one of Next Door Reputed Lady Neighbour(Who Co-ordinated & Represent too for the Local area of their & for their Constituency during Elections & their any function of their Locality,, a well known in their Locality for a Good behaviour too),, I meet & Spoke to her Severally,, She herself Visited too & found My Wife Not behaving Normally & Cool,, a Raugh behaved Lady, She found & She Said, a disrespected Lady means not Gentle,, i Personally Visited Mumbai at her elder Sister's home too,, during yr.2015,, while in entrance,, the brother-in-law resisted me NOT to Enter,, from the door only i came back. Not meet even & had NO Talk,, while after little a distance i covered from their residence,, i found they again recalling me to Come & Visit. But, I found myself very off mooded, & not visited till as on & till date,, because. they only Created the False Nuisances' with their Plan,, which not became A Success.. they Caught. But, they were Proposer of Our both Relation. But, I want a Justice with this,, Since, I am a Simple & Honest,, Very Straight forwarded with Cut to throat Person..in my Nature,, Soft & Spiritual. Since, Many Years Now Connected to Krishna Consciousness too,, that is why for love & affection i am here at PURI. Kindly, Let me Know Your Precious Opinion by which I can Come out with my Loneliness. **HARE*KRISHNA** Thanking you, With Regards, Surajit Bhattacharjee, In Case if You have a Plan to Visit Puri, Odisha,, Kindly, Let me Know Your Date & Place to See **MAHABAHU**JAGANNATHA*,, You may Send by Your family & friends too with Prior Advance & info.

Ans: Dear Surajit,
Thank you for the festive wishes and thank you for the invite to visit Odisha.

Your situations suggests that much time has passed with no action. Long distance relationships are not easy and require immense maturity and agreement and a lot of trust to keep the marriage going.

What is the reason that your wife does not want to come back now? Your son is already 18 years and is old enough to get into a professional college now...What has happened in all these years that she finds it better living with her side of the better than making her own family come together?

Have the two of you had time to have a private conversation without the interference from anyone else?
Make that honest attempt and appeal to her that you would like the family to get back together. But also be prepared if she says NO as that has been her stance all these years... then please move on...it is difficult but will be better for your physical and mental health.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 30, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2023Hindi
Listen
Dear Anu, I am married for 24 years having two grown up children. Both are studying. My wife is not working. She had been adamant and spendthrift since the beginning of our marriage. Just to maintain peace I was putting up with her undue demands. Than in last decade my business suffered for quite sometime still I sold some property and managed the household expenses. Than in 2017 the business started picking up and it started doing well. but having learned the lesson I became very firm with wasteful expenses. And by end of 2017 she broke all ties with me, and started sleeping with our daughter in her room. Now since last six years we are hardly talking to each other despite living in the same house . Her parents are also hand in glove with her and disconnected with me. I also came to know lot of factors about her family. Her father claimed to be a businessman before marriage and later I learned he was working in subcontracts division of a company and making money by illegal means from vendors. He was a heavy drinker and had relations with many women. I also came to know that her father had thrown his father out of house and that old man had died in a temple. To make matter worse her parents are having one more daughter which they claim to be given to some family member and now they don't have any relationship with that girl or the couple to whom they have given their daughter to. So prima facie they have a child or children which they have hidden from society. We attended marriages of her uncle's daughters out of Mumbai. His uncle and his family attended my marriage and marriage of my wife's only brother. Now after all marriages are over they have broken up with that uncle too. He is real brother of my father in law. Her aunty expired two years back I offered to call her uncle and offer condolences she said no need now relationship with uncle is over. With all these I am able to come to a conclusion that the family doesn't value relationships and once their purpose is served they discontinue the relationship. Due to constant problems my children have also become very adamant and are not concentrating on studies. Kindly suggest what should I do in the given situation. Can the marriage be annulled on the grounds her family concealed vital information before marriage. I offered her to go for marriage counselling and therapy but she refused. Please suggest some suitable solution.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Too much of a mess, yeah?
Why they hid certain facts and what impact that has had on your marriage is something that you are experiencing. Relationships are built on trust and honesty leads to that trust. You possibly feel being misled multiple times over and it will indeed affect the mind state of your children.
Good that you have woken up to this NOW.
Are you sure that you want to end this marriage? Or is there a possibility of saving it?
If you want to end it through a legal recourse, find an able lawyer who specializes in divorce cases. She/he will advise you on annulment or mutual consent divorce or filing for one. These options come to a better choice when you seek an expert in legal matters.
In the meantime, keep your mind in a place where it is calm. Too much of muddle and constant over processing will make you have bitter thoughts and keep you engaged in stress building situations.
Accept what's happening (difficult, I know)...but doing this will enable you to take the right decision not only for your life but also for your children. Also, I suggest spend a lot of time with the children and teach them not to take sides of any parent.
Whatever you decide is going to impact them and they must be prepared anyway. So, talk to them like they are grown ups and let them grow into it supporting you both rather than be caught in the cross fire.
I am sure if you have had the courage to understand what has been happening to you, you can surely take additional steps to safeguard your mind space and do what's right for the children as well.
All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 06, 2023Hindi
Relationship
Dear Anu I am a 46 year old man .. married for last 16 years... My wife is well educated but a house wife by choice.. I lost my father when i was 18 and had struggled a lot to gain a great life in terms of money, name in my field and satisfaction at work. At home front we live a nuclear family... me, my wife and my 12 year daughter. But after my marriage in 2006 for next 6/7 years we were in joint family. my daughter was born in 2010.. In joint family me, my younger brother his wife and my mother were members... during these years, my wife never got along with my mother, brother and his wife... and also had fights [severe kind] where she accused them for petty reason...she demanded separate house within 3 month of marriage.. but since I was not financially settled so I promised her we will buy own home in course of time... but over these 6&7 years her behavior started really erratic.. she stopped talking to everyone, and keep fighting with all my family. also the house with joint family owned my me and younger brother... she demanded i should sell the house and get my share to buy own house. which i refused as my brother and his family with my mother were also staying there... and while buying it my mother had helped us financially, without having her name as owner. over the period things became really bitter... we also had fights where out of anger I happened to slap her.. but as promised I bought another house [with lot of efforts since i m self employee] within 5/6 years and we shifted to another city around our previous house. but after shifting she had the same temperament. She never got along with me.. Over an argument she would stop talking to me, and when confronted she would mention about my share in old house which i left... she was not happy seeing my brother living in that house with his family and my mother... i told her as promised we bought this house and I haven't withdrew my share in that house.. may be over the year i will take my share as per market value.. but at this point we don't need to do it.. since it will involve a lot of turbulence for my brother, his family and my mother as they were settled there. so I strongly told her she should not think about as she have her house and focus on it. Over these time, we had a very cute daughter... growing.. her schooling started.. i got busy with my work... and my wife by choice chose to be house wife... taking care of house... but she was hell bent on the house issue over selling it and taking my share.. and due to that we had several fights... which became my life miserable. her point was why pay EMI when you can get share and pay off the loans for new house. in these 8/9 years she became bitter person... no ties with my relatives /cousins, no friends, never got along with neighbors... and opposite to that i have very cordial relation with her family, cousins, my family and have great social circle. when my daughter was 10 year old, i was already settled with good career and financial status... i had cleared all the home loan for our new home... i did everything all out to make her happier but her wish to sell that house where my brother with his wife and my mother i didn't take share or sell it.. and she keeps nagging me with that and her temperament getting worst... now she started accusing me for having an affair and threatening me that she will complain police if i argue with her. unfortunately my daughter had to see this... but my daughter is very sorted, focused and a good kid. In last 2 years i managed to buy another house, which is bigger, where we shifted 1.5 years back, she wanted to do a puja and refused to invite anyone from my family.. also bought one more house as investment.. and a farm too as second home... Im very happy and satisfied with my career and other aspects of life... but the bitterness of wife kept on increasing... sometimes i felt she wanted me to fail and she could just take the pleasure of making me feel how she was right.. which never happened.. Now she is completely out of touch with my family... her anger triggers when i speak to my brother , my mom, Now over these years my brother also managed to earn some money and he paid me an amount as part of my share for the house he is living.. which we mutually agreed among us... and i withdrew my name from that property... i informed this to my wife.. first she didnt believe.. and then she was not interested in it.. so basically over these years i managed to fulfil everything what i promised also took my share from the joint house even i was not very happy with that situation. but all these incidences.. my wife became a difficult person to deal with... be it talking a simple conversation or smallest issue.. we don't have any physical relation .... we sleep in different bedrooms.. my wife also became too possessive and control freak with my daughter.. my daughter is 12 now and she retaliate with it.. so even they keep fighting now... me and my daughter have a great bonding... over these period i started feeling that i married a wrong person.. sometimes i think of divorce but i m worried about my daughter.. and also lot other things as im 45 already.. i wont say that i have never done any mistake while these 16 years but i never chose to disconnect with my wife... i worked really hard to earn money to build a good fortune for my wife and daughter... but looks like she doesn't care... and she takes me completely for granted... she thinks i wont leave her and will be stuck around.. i also advised to visit a therapist or counselor... or join a meditation or do anything she likes to do... be it creative or extra curricular.. but she just ignores it... i am into creative field and this domestic chaos sometimes really bothers me. it never effected my work yet but i m worried it might just. Let me know your opinion... if there is something i can do more to help this mess with my wife.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly your wife has a streak of wanting people to want her, literally where it comes off as her being possessive of them (I gather this from what you have shared). I only have a one-sided view and don't know fully well why your wife chooses to be possessive.
She does not want to share you or what you earn with your family; it only suggests that she is worried about losing both. It may seem like they are unfounded fears but they exist in real for her.
Obviously your pleas to see a counselor will better her life and it is easier to stay where she is as nothing needs to change. It seems relatively clear that she fears LOSING!
How this got there or did it become even more evident because of the tussles between your family and her; no one knows. You would not completely know what transpired between your wife and your family; but something has triggered within her to hold on to her beliefs.
Anyway, it is difficult to be where you are; but the only way out is to have a person that is neutral to handle this. It could be a mutual friend, a senior member of her side of the family, a person that she idolizes...anyone who can in a very unbiased manner approach the situation and bring out the fears.
In the meantime, you can spend more time with your daughter and give her a sense of protection and care and at the same time ensuring that she empathizes with her mother. Matters like these can go sour overnight and YES, you have held on so long, give it some more time but do facilitate the neutral person to do an Intervention ASAP.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |277 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2023

Relationship
**JAY*JAGANNATH**, Wishing You For **HAPPY*ANANT-CHATURDASHI**, I'm based in Mumbai, but lives in Puri, Odisha, because of **LORD*JAGANNATHA**, Since, I'm a Business Analyst,, not yet Started my Practice,, i had a arrange marriage in my own caste with rest was OK, after reading some of Your advises and type of case,, i became enthusiast to know YOUR UNPARALELED PRECIOUS OPINION about my personal disturbances in my family.,for which We live Separate with my Only 18+Son, Studying & Preparing for his Entrance Test via Online.., she is in Guwahati,, working under at a Private Retail Management co., ME & MY FAMILY Severally attempted & requested her and her family too, to Come back & Join to my family for living together,, but when failed,, i encourage her OK live there,, as because after failing an attempt of school transfer due to language issue for a subject like Marathi in Upper classes,, Thus, i stopped disturbing her as well as my son's study. During initial level of Separation,, their family (ELDERS) requested me will handover my family (wife & Son),, if i Pay them(wife& Son) their expenses for a Full Year., that was happened when i reached for an attempt to Convince My Wife and their family to adjoin with me & with my family activity, that was Probably in 2010-11 somewhere in between,, i was Hr. Manager in a Cement Co. in Meghalaya. I agreed too & and Provide as per for a Year. But, while passing a year they became Silent.., not hardcovered my family. till as on date,, i am alone..! She & Elder Sister & the brother-in-law Says they won't divorce nor will allow to handover,, i said why..! The Starting of a Quarrel was with a Issue of Changing my Mental Perception,, while they tried to Implement me with Saying a FALSE PLAN,, but, i Caught their Such Attempt,, MY Mrs. later She admitted that, they tried it because of if I get my Changes in me & to take my decision well for my Next career. Since, i born & brought up in Guwahati, i had a Soft corner for North-East always,, which was happened after 15yrs of long Struggle in Mumbai,, i Stand on my own feet with My Own Struggle & a house for my Stability etc. After Marriage of a Assam Lady only it was a Scope again to Reach Assam.. So, i thought, if i can Start Something a great Project with in & around of North-East. But, that became a bad experience for me as on till. I arrived Recently too, to Convince her,, Come & Join me,, Rest all Hurdle i will Handle,, Now, No more My father also expired, a Retired. Rly Officer,, Parents too visited Severally Assam to Convince them but failed,, I always feel i am alone,, what to do with,, I am a family Oriented Person,, love to keep Relation Well with either Side Well. But, not happening. What to Do Now,, But, I LOVER HER & MY SON VERY MUCH,, BY ANY MEANS AS ON.., I HAVE NO PLAN TO LEAVE THEM ALONE & THEIR STRUGGLE TO..! BUT, I STILL, A HELPLESS, WHOM TO GO & CRY FOR THEM..!?! Kindly tell Your PRECIOUS Opinion on this,, I am Ready to Take Your Nobly too, Recently, I took little advise from a Legal Family Court Councillor at Guwahati, & their one of Next Door Reputed Lady Neighbour(Who Co-ordinated & Represent too for the Local area of their & for their Constituency during Elections & their any function of their Locality,, a well known in their Locality for a Good behaviour too),, I meet & Spoke to her Severally,, She herself Visited too & found My Wife Not behaving Normally & Cool,, a Raugh behaved Lady, She found & She Said, a disrespected Lady means not Gentle,, i Personally Visited Mumbai at her elder Sister's home too,, during yr.2015,, while in entrance,, the brother-in-law resisted me NOT to Enter,, from the door only i came back. Not meet even & had NO Talk,, while after little a distance i covered from their residence,, i found they again recalling me to Come & Visit. But, I found myself very off mooded, & not visited till as on & till date,, because. they only Created the False Nuisances' with their Plan,, which not became A Success.. they Caught. But, they were Proposer of Our both Relation. But, I want a Justice with this,, Since, I am a Simple & Honest,, Very Straight forwarded with Cut to throat Person..in my Nature,, Soft & Spiritual. Since, Many Years Now Connected to Krishna Consciousness too,, that is why for love & affection i am here at PURI. Kindly, Let me Know Your Precious Opinion by which I can Come out with my Loneliness. **HARE*KRISHNA** Thanking you, With Regards, Surajit Bhattacharjee, In Case if You have a Plan to Visit Puri, Odisha,, Kindly, Let me Know Your Date & Place to See **MAHABAHU**JAGANNATHA*,, You may Send by Your family & friends too with Prior Advance & info.
Ans: I understand that you are going through a very challenging and emotionally taxing situation. It's clear that you care deeply for your wife and son and want to find a resolution to the issues that have led to your separation. However, I am not a legal expert, and my responses are not a substitute for legal advice. It's essential to consult with an attorney who specializes in family law in your jurisdiction for guidance tailored to your specific circumstances.

Here are some general steps you might consider taking:

Consult with a Family Law Attorney: Seek the advice of a qualified family law attorney in your area who can help you navigate the legal aspects of your situation. They can provide guidance on divorce, custody, and any other legal matters that may arise.
Mediation: Mediation is often a more amicable and less adversarial way to resolve conflicts related to divorce and separation. A trained mediator can help facilitate discussions between you and your wife to find mutually agreeable solutions.
Child Custody and Support: Given your son's involvement, it's crucial to ensure that his best interests are protected. Discuss child custody, visitation, and child support arrangements with your attorney and potentially through mediation.
Therapeutic Intervention: If communication and emotional issues are at the core of your problems, consider involving a family therapist or counselor. They can help facilitate productive discussions and address underlying emotional concerns.
Keep Records: Document any interactions or communication you have with your wife or her family. This can be useful in legal proceedings and may help support your case.
Stay Connected with Your Son: Continue to provide emotional support and be involved in your son's life as much as possible, even if you are physically separated.
Explore Community Resources: Look for local support groups or community resources that can provide emotional support and guidance during this challenging time.
Remember that every situation is unique, and the best course of action may vary depending on the specific details of your case. Seeking professional legal and therapeutic guidance is crucial in navigating complex family issues. Additionally, it's important to remain patient and persistent in your efforts to find a resolution while prioritizing the well-being of your son throughout the process.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |277 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 26, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hi I am 40 yrs with wife and kid of 7 yrs. My problem is family oriented. I have three sister, elder two sisters are well married and settled. My younger sister had an arrange marriage in 2004 and she had a divorce in 2011. With that marriage she has a boy child who is almost 18 now and too lazy, she as per her will did an intercaste love marriage in court in 2015 without informing anyone. I used to stay away in delhi and my parents and eldest sister(at her in laws place) in kolkata and d youngest married d guy 2 km from parents house. In 2017 i shifted back to kolkata as my wife was pregnant, so we took a decision dat now it would be better to stay in joint family as d kid will get grand parents and we will also serve my parents, but my youngest sister had a very bad habit of calling my mom every day almost 5-7 times and coming to parental house every alternate days which i rrsisted and i faced backlash from my parents and her too. Then suddenly things changed her husband became a very rowdy person and started beating her as she narrated and she came back to parental house with two kids one was from previous husband and one was from d court love marriage, now she stays in same flat where my parents stays. In 2017 aug my kid was born in 2019 she came back and den i again decided to leave house with my wife and kid as it was 2 bhk flat and all people flocked there as if ut was a zoo so i decided to leave with my family and we moved to ujjain and started living peacefully. Reason for leaving was my younger sis her eldest son and my dad has a very bad habit of shouting arguing nd fighting means domestic violence which i have seen in my childhood days even wen my dad used to do violence with my mom. Now i say her to take divorce and stay with parents or go back to her husbamd or where ever she wants. My dad is retired with a fixed income of around 20k per month. My sis and her son stays at home uses all facilities of home whereas when i shifted to ujjain i did all hardships and built my rented flat. Used to sleep on floor slowly we both husband wife worked hard and bought bed, kitchen utensils fridge and tv. Now my concern is she is not taking divorce and fully dependent on my father. She and her son both earn almost 35k together but their contribution towards house is big Zero towards ration is ZEro yes for basic dey dont pay anythng but like she pays for her small child school fees almost 3000 and whatever dey feel like eating extra den normal homely food she brings for her kids. As she is not taking divorce what can be main reason and future consequences to my kid and my life and my mom and dad have just become a free maid for her kids, my sis does all masti and roams freely till 9 pm without any concern for her kids as my mom is behind as maid to take care. Means my mom and dad have no saving cz of her and no personal life nor any social life cz dey have to take d youngest kid along with dem. My dad is 70 diabetic mom is 65 undergone bypass. Wen i say cz of yoi came back i have to leave dat house she says did i hold ur hand and say to go out. Where as i needed peace but i also need my parents as i want to take care of dem cz she treats dem like servants only. And my parentz dont understand dis dey hav soft cornor for her. She is like deemak but dey dont understand. Kindly guide me.
Ans: Your situation is complex, involving familial responsibilities and personal peace. To address it, start by understanding your sister's reasons for not seeking a divorce. Consider engaging a professional family counselor to mediate and provide support for everyone involved. Legally, explore the options available for ensuring she contributes financially to the household.

Your priority should be to protect your parents' well-being and your own family's stability. If your sister continues to burden your parents without contributing, it might be necessary to seek legal advice on how to manage this dependency. You may also need to discuss with your parents the importance of setting boundaries to ensure their health and financial security. Balancing compassion with firm boundaries is key to resolving these issues while maintaining family harmony.

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4703 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello lam 32old l have 4kids earn 1L per month how to make investment kids education
Ans: Planning for your children's education is a commendable goal, and it's great to see you taking steps towards it. With a monthly income of Rs 1 lakh and four kids to provide for, a well-thought-out investment strategy is essential. Let's dive into the details.

Understanding Your Financial Situation
Before investing, understand your financial situation. Earning Rs 1 lakh per month gives you a solid base. However, with four kids, your expenses will be significant. Hence, planning and budgeting are crucial.

Setting Clear Goals
First, set clear goals. Determine the cost of education for each child. Factor in inflation, which increases the cost of education over time. Setting specific goals helps you stay focused.

Creating a Budget
Create a monthly budget to manage your expenses. Track your income and expenditures. This will help identify areas where you can save more money. Savings are the foundation of your investment.

Building an Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is vital. It ensures financial stability during unforeseen circumstances. Aim to save at least six months' worth of expenses in a liquid savings account.

Prioritising Insurance
Adequate insurance is essential. Ensure you have sufficient health insurance coverage for your family. Life insurance is also critical to protect your family financially in your absence.

Diversifying Investments
Diversify your investments to reduce risk. Different investment options provide varying returns and have different risk levels. Diversification balances risk and return.

Investing in Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are an excellent option for long-term goals like education. They are managed by professional fund managers and offer the benefit of diversification.

Benefits of Mutual Funds for Education Goals
Professional Management: Mutual funds are managed by experienced fund managers. They make investment decisions based on thorough research and analysis. This professional management helps in optimizing returns while managing risks.

Diversification: Mutual funds invest in a variety of securities. This diversification spreads risk across different assets, reducing the impact of any single investment's poor performance.

Flexibility: There are various types of mutual funds catering to different risk appetites and investment horizons. For education planning, you can choose from equity funds, debt funds, or balanced funds, depending on your risk tolerance and time frame.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): SIPs allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly in mutual funds. This disciplined approach helps in averaging the cost of investment and building a substantial corpus over time. SIPs are ideal for long-term goals like children's education.

Tax Efficiency: Some mutual funds, like Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS), offer tax benefits under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act. This reduces your tax liability while helping you save for your children's education.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds are superior to index funds. Fund managers use their expertise to outperform the market. They provide better returns compared to index funds, which merely track market indices.

Regular Funds vs Direct Funds
Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential is beneficial. Regular funds come with expert advice and guidance. Direct funds, on the other hand, require you to make investment decisions yourself. Professional guidance reduces the chances of making poor investment decisions.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
SIPs are a disciplined way to invest in mutual funds. They allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly. This helps in averaging the cost of investment and building a corpus over time.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is a government-backed savings scheme. It offers tax benefits and attractive interest rates. It is a safe investment option for long-term goals like children's education.

National Savings Certificate (NSC)
NSC is another government-backed scheme. It provides guaranteed returns and tax benefits. It's a low-risk investment option suitable for conservative investors.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY)
If you have daughters, consider SSY. It is specifically designed for the girl child's education and marriage expenses. It offers high returns and tax benefits.

Child Education Plans
Child education plans offered by insurance companies combine insurance and investment. They provide financial protection and help in building a corpus for education. However, these plans may come with high charges. Hence, evaluate them carefully.

Avoiding ULIPs
Unit Linked Insurance Plans (ULIPs) combine insurance and investment. However, they have high charges and complex structures. Separate your insurance and investment needs for better returns.

Reviewing Investments Regularly
Regularly review your investments. Ensure they align with your goals. Market conditions change, and so should your investment strategy. Adjust your investments as needed.

Starting Early
The earlier you start investing, the better. Time allows your investments to grow. Compounding works best when you invest for the long term.

Educating Yourself
Financial literacy is crucial. Understand the basics of investing. Read books, attend seminars, and consult with your CFP. Knowledge empowers you to make informed decisions.

Involving Your Children
Involve your children in financial planning. Teach them the importance of saving and investing. This helps them understand the value of money and prepares them for future financial responsibilities.

Evaluating Your Risk Tolerance
Assess your risk tolerance. Different investments have different risk levels. Choose investments that match your risk appetite. This ensures you are comfortable with your investment choices.

Setting Up a Separate Account
Set up a separate account for your children's education fund. This keeps the funds earmarked for their education and reduces the temptation to use them for other expenses.

Automating Investments
Automate your investments. Set up auto-debit instructions for SIPs and other investments. This ensures regular investments without fail.

Tax Planning
Plan your taxes efficiently. Utilize tax-saving instruments like PPF, NSC, and ELSS. This reduces your tax liability and increases your investable surplus.

Seeking Professional Advice
Seek advice from a CFP. They provide tailored advice based on your financial situation and goals. Their expertise helps you make the right investment choices.

Avoiding Emotional Decisions
Avoid making emotional decisions. Market volatility can tempt you to make hasty decisions. Stay focused on your long-term goals and avoid reacting to short-term market movements.

Monitoring Inflation
Monitor inflation. The cost of education rises with inflation. Ensure your investments are growing at a rate higher than inflation to meet your goals.

Utilizing Education Loans
Consider education loans as a backup. They can fund higher education without straining your finances. However, aim to save and invest enough to avoid relying solely on loans.

Staying Disciplined
Discipline is key to successful investing. Stick to your investment plan. Avoid unnecessary expenses and stay committed to your savings goals.

Balancing Current and Future Needs
Balance your current and future needs. While saving for education is important, ensure you meet your current financial responsibilities. A balanced approach prevents financial stress.

Encouraging Scholarships
Encourage your children to excel academically. Scholarships reduce the financial burden of education. Motivate them to participate in scholarship programs and competitions.

Exploring Part-time Work
Part-time work teaches responsibility and the value of money. Encourage your older children to take up part-time jobs or internships. This not only adds to their education fund but also provides work experience.

Minimizing Debt
Minimize debt to maximize savings. Avoid unnecessary loans and credit card debts. Interest payments on debt reduce your investable surplus.

Living Within Means
Live within your means. Maintain a lifestyle that suits your income. This ensures you have enough savings for your children's education.

Avoiding High-Risk Investments
Avoid high-risk investments. While they offer high returns, they also come with high risks. Stick to safer investment options for education goals.

Reinvesting Returns
Reinvest returns from your investments. This helps in compounding and growing your corpus faster. Avoid withdrawing investment returns for short-term needs.

Leveraging Employer Benefits
Leverage employer benefits like provident fund and employee stock options. These can add to your savings for your children's education.

Keeping Updated with Policies
Stay updated with government policies. Policies related to education and savings schemes change. Staying informed helps you take advantage of beneficial schemes.

Understanding the Cost of Education
Research the cost of education. Understand the fees and expenses involved in different courses. This helps in setting realistic goals and planning accordingly.

Encouraging Savings Habit
Encourage a savings habit in your family. Make saving a family activity. This creates a culture of saving and financial responsibility.

Utilizing Mobile Apps
Use mobile apps for budgeting and investing. They help track your expenses and investments easily. Many apps offer insights and advice on managing finances.

Final Insights
Investing in your children's education is a noble goal. It requires careful planning and disciplined execution. With a monthly income of Rs 1 lakh, you have the potential to build a substantial education fund. Set clear goals, diversify your investments, and seek professional advice. Start early and stay disciplined. Your efforts today will secure a bright future for your children.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4703 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Money
sir i am retired person with poor pension of rs.18000 however i have jewel loan of Rs. 8 lakhs for which i am paying R.10000 INTEREST THOUGH I AM HAVING STOCK VALUE OF RS. 3.00.000 FOR WHICH I TRADED AND GETTING SMALL PORTION OF PROFIT I USED TO PAY THE SAME FOR INTEREST-IN THIS JUNCTURE I NEEDED YOUR HELP HOW TO OVER COME THIS TYPE OF MY DEBIT POSITION FOR THE PAST SEVERAL YEARS -GIVE ME A IDEA TO COME UP FROM THIS DEBIT SOONER OR LATER WITH PROPER GUIDANCEPLEASE-VIJAYAKUMAR J
Ans: Mr. Vijayakumar, thank you for sharing your financial situation. It's clear you're facing significant challenges. Your pension is Rs. 18,000, and you have a jewel loan of Rs. 8 lakhs with an interest of Rs. 10,000 per month. You also have stock investments worth Rs. 3 lakhs, which provide some profit to cover the interest.

Firstly, let's appreciate your efforts in managing your finances despite these difficulties. Your perseverance is commendable. Now, let's explore some strategies to help you overcome your debt and improve your financial health.

Assessing Your Monthly Cash Flow
Your monthly pension of Rs. 18,000 is your primary source of income. However, paying Rs. 10,000 towards the interest on your jewel loan leaves you with only Rs. 8,000 for other expenses. This tight budget makes it challenging to manage your finances effectively.

To address this, we need to look at ways to either increase your income or reduce your expenses. Let’s explore some potential strategies.

Reducing Monthly Expenses
One immediate step is to review your monthly expenses. Identify areas where you can cut down costs. This could include reducing discretionary spending, such as dining out or entertainment. Even small savings can add up over time and provide some financial relief.

Additionally, consider negotiating with service providers for lower rates on utilities or phone bills. Every bit of savings will help improve your cash flow.

Liquidating Non-Essential Assets
Given your current debt situation, it's important to consider liquidating non-essential assets. You mentioned having stock investments worth Rs. 3 lakhs. While trading stocks can generate some profit, relying on this income to pay interest on a large loan isn't sustainable.

Selling a portion or all of these stocks can provide you with a lump sum amount. This money can be used to pay off a part of your jewel loan, reducing the principal and, consequently, the monthly interest payments.

Exploring Additional Income Sources
Increasing your income can significantly improve your financial situation. Here are a few ideas to consider:

Part-Time Work: Explore opportunities for part-time work that align with your skills and experience. Even a few hours a week can supplement your pension.

Freelancing: If you have expertise in a particular field, consider freelancing. Platforms like Upwork or Freelancer offer opportunities for various skill sets.

Tutoring: If you have knowledge in a subject area, tutoring can be a rewarding way to earn extra income. Online tutoring platforms make it easier to connect with students.

These additional income sources can provide some financial cushion and help you manage your loan payments more effectively.

Evaluating Your Loan Options
High-interest loans can quickly become a financial burden. It might be worthwhile to explore options for refinancing your jewel loan. Here are a few steps to consider:

Negotiating with Your Lender: Speak with your current lender to see if there's any possibility of reducing the interest rate on your jewel loan. Explain your situation and request a more favorable rate.

Loan Consolidation: If you have multiple loans, consolidating them into a single loan with a lower interest rate can simplify your payments and reduce the overall interest burden.

Switching Lenders: Compare rates from different lenders. If you find a lender offering a lower interest rate, consider transferring your loan to them. This can result in significant interest savings.

Seeking Professional Advice
Given the complexity of your financial situation, it may be beneficial to seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). A CFP can provide personalized guidance and help you create a comprehensive financial plan. They can assist with budgeting, debt management, and investment strategies tailored to your needs.

Benefits of Working with a CFP
Working with a Certified Financial Planner offers several advantages:

Expertise: CFPs have extensive knowledge and training in financial planning. They can provide expert advice based on your specific circumstances.

Personalized Guidance: A CFP will take the time to understand your financial goals and challenges. They can create a tailored plan to help you achieve financial stability.

Long-Term Planning: A CFP can help you develop a long-term financial strategy, including retirement planning, investment management, and debt reduction.

Assessing Investment Options
While stocks can provide returns, relying solely on stock trading for income is risky. It's important to diversify your investments to reduce risk and ensure a more stable income. Let's discuss the advantages of actively managed funds over index funds.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds have their drawbacks. They are passively managed and simply aim to replicate the performance of a specific index. This lack of active management means they cannot adapt to market changes. During market downturns, index funds often suffer significant losses, as they are tied to the overall market performance.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds, on the other hand, are overseen by professional fund managers who make strategic decisions based on market conditions. These managers aim to outperform the market and protect your investments during volatile times.

Flexibility: Active fund managers can adjust the portfolio based on market trends and economic conditions.

Risk Management: Active managers can take defensive positions during market downturns to minimize losses.

Potential for Higher Returns: With strategic management, actively managed funds have the potential to deliver higher returns compared to index funds.

Reinvesting in Mutual Funds
If you hold LIC, ULIP, or investment cum insurance policies, consider surrendering these and reinvesting in mutual funds. These policies often have high fees and lower returns compared to mutual funds.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds may seem attractive due to lower expense ratios, but they lack professional guidance. Investing directly requires significant time and expertise. Making the wrong investment choices can lead to substantial losses.

Benefits of Regular Funds with CFP Guidance
Regular funds, invested through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a CFP credential, offer several benefits:

Professional Advice: You get access to expert advice and investment recommendations.

Convenience: Regular funds simplify the investment process, saving you time and effort.

Risk Management: A CFP can help manage risk and ensure your investments align with your financial goals.

Creating a Debt Repayment Plan
To overcome your debt, it's crucial to have a structured repayment plan. Here are some steps to consider:

Prioritize High-Interest Debt
Focus on paying off the debt with the highest interest rate first. This will help reduce the overall interest burden.

Make Extra Payments
Whenever possible, make extra payments towards your loan principal. This will reduce the principal amount faster and lower the total interest paid over time.

Automate Payments
Set up automatic payments to ensure you never miss a due date. This will help avoid late fees and keep you on track with your repayment plan.

Exploring Government Schemes and Assistance
In India, several government schemes and assistance programs can help senior citizens manage their finances. Research and explore these options to see if you qualify for any benefits. These programs can provide financial support and ease your burden.

Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS)
The SCSS offers a secure investment option with regular interest payouts. It provides financial stability and is designed specifically for senior citizens.

Pradhan Mantri Vaya Vandana Yojana (PMVVY)
PMVVY is a pension scheme for senior citizens, offering a fixed monthly pension. It provides financial security and peace of mind.

Final Insights
Mr. Vijayakumar, managing your finances during retirement can be challenging, but with the right strategies, you can improve your situation. Focus on reducing expenses, increasing income, and exploring refinancing options for your jewel loan. Consider liquidating non-essential assets and reinvesting wisely with professional guidance.

Remember, seeking advice from a Certified Financial Planner can provide you with personalized guidance and help you create a comprehensive financial plan. Take advantage of government schemes designed for senior citizens to ease your financial burden.

Your perseverance and dedication are truly admirable. By taking these steps, you can work towards overcoming your debt and achieving financial stability.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4703 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, I am a 49 single mother. I have monthly SIP,s of 31 k amounting to 80 L in MFs, PPF 12L, FDs 12 L, 15 L in Senior citizen scheme on my mom's name, and no loans. I also have a LIC jeevan Saral policy of 7.2 L, which I want to close. Kindly advice me how do I maximise my returns and accumulate a corpus of 3 Cr, before my retirement.
Ans: First, let’s review your current investments and savings. You have a diverse portfolio with investments in mutual funds (MFs), Public Provident Fund (PPF), Fixed Deposits (FDs), a Senior Citizen Scheme, and an LIC Jeevan Saral policy. Your monthly Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) amount to Rs 31,000, accumulating Rs 80 lakh in MFs. You also have Rs 12 lakh in PPF, Rs 12 lakh in FDs, and Rs 15 lakh in a Senior Citizen Scheme under your mother’s name. The LIC Jeevan Saral policy stands at Rs 7.2 lakh.

It’s commendable that you’ve maintained a disciplined approach to saving and investing. Now, let’s discuss how to optimize your returns and aim for a corpus of Rs 3 crore by retirement.

Evaluating Current Investments
Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are a good choice for long-term wealth creation. They offer diversification and professional management. Your current investment in MFs through SIPs is a robust strategy. However, you should periodically review the performance of your funds. Ensure that your portfolio is well-diversified across various sectors and fund categories. Focus on actively managed funds, as they can potentially offer higher returns compared to index funds.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is a safe and tax-efficient investment. It offers tax benefits under Section 80C and provides tax-free returns. However, the returns are relatively lower compared to equity MFs. Given your goal, consider continuing your contributions but not increasing them significantly.

Fixed Deposits (FDs)
FDs offer safety and guaranteed returns. However, the interest rates are lower than the inflation rate, which can erode your purchasing power over time. It’s wise to maintain some FDs for liquidity and safety but consider reducing the allocation and moving some funds to higher-yielding investments.

Senior Citizen Scheme
The Senior Citizen Scheme is a good investment for regular income. It offers safety and decent returns. Since it’s under your mother’s name, it can continue to provide a steady income stream.

LIC Jeevan Saral Policy
The LIC Jeevan Saral policy has not performed well historically compared to mutual funds. Surrendering the policy and reinvesting the proceeds in equity mutual funds could yield better returns in the long term. Consult with the insurer to understand the surrender value and process before making a decision.

Strategies to Maximize Returns
Increasing SIP Contributions
Consider increasing your SIP contributions whenever possible. An increase of 10-15% annually can significantly boost your corpus. This strategy leverages the power of compounding, helping you achieve your financial goal faster.

Diversifying Within Mutual Funds
Ensure your mutual fund portfolio is well-diversified. Invest across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. Each category has its risk and return profile. A balanced mix can provide stability and growth. Additionally, sectoral and thematic funds can be included for added diversification but in smaller proportions.

Regular Portfolio Review
Conduct a regular review of your portfolio, at least once a year. Assess the performance of your funds and make necessary adjustments. Switching underperforming funds and rebalancing the portfolio as per market conditions is crucial for optimizing returns.

Tax-Efficient Investments
Utilize tax-efficient investment options to maximize your post-tax returns. Besides PPF, consider investing in Equity-Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) for their tax benefits under Section 80C and potential for higher returns. However, ensure that tax-saving investments align with your overall financial goals and risk appetite.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This fund should be kept in liquid assets like savings accounts or short-term FDs. It ensures financial stability during unforeseen circumstances without disrupting your investment strategy.

Risk Management
Evaluate your risk tolerance and adjust your portfolio accordingly. As you approach retirement, gradually shift towards more conservative investments to protect your corpus. A higher allocation to debt funds and safer instruments can provide stability while still offering reasonable returns.

Long-Term Investment Discipline
Consistency in Investments
Maintaining a consistent investment approach is key to wealth creation. Avoid frequent switching based on market volatility. Stick to your investment plan and remain patient for long-term gains.

Goal-Based Investing
Align your investments with your financial goals. Clearly define your retirement corpus target and the time horizon. This approach helps in selecting suitable investment options and maintaining focus.

Reinvesting Dividends
Reinvest dividends and interest earned from your investments. This practice enhances the compounding effect, accelerating the growth of your corpus. Ensure that your MF investments are in growth options rather than dividend payout options.

Avoiding Common Pitfalls
Avoid Over-Concentration
Diversify your investments to avoid over-concentration in any single asset class or sector. This strategy mitigates risks and enhances the potential for higher returns.

Beware of Inflation
Inflation can erode your purchasing power over time. Focus on investments that offer inflation-beating returns. Equity mutual funds and other growth-oriented investments are essential for maintaining the real value of your corpus.

Monitor Expenses
Keep an eye on the expenses related to your investments. High expense ratios and fees can eat into your returns. Opt for funds with reasonable expense ratios and ensure that the returns justify the costs.

Seeking Professional Guidance
While this plan provides a comprehensive approach, it’s advisable to seek the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). A CFP can offer personalized advice based on your unique financial situation and goals. They can help you navigate complex investment choices and ensure your portfolio is aligned with your retirement objective.

Leveraging Technology
Financial Planning Tools
Utilize financial planning tools and apps to track your investments and progress towards your goal. These tools offer valuable insights and help in making informed decisions.

Automating Investments
Automate your investments through SIPs and other systematic plans. Automation ensures discipline and consistency in your investment approach. It also reduces the temptation to time the market.

Final Insights
Reaching a corpus of Rs 3 crore before retirement is achievable with a strategic and disciplined approach. By optimizing your current investments, increasing your SIP contributions, and diversifying your portfolio, you can maximize returns. Regular reviews, risk management, and seeking professional guidance will further enhance your financial journey. Stay committed to your goals and make informed decisions to secure a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4703 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 02, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello sir, I am 28 years old living alone and earning 33 thousand per month and my total expenses are 15000 thousand a month that includes my personal expenses, house maintenance, bills, S.I.P etc. I am roughly able to save 18000 thousand a month. I live in my parents gifted house, have no on going loans, 80,000 is invested in equity market and 1,30,000 is invested in together total 4 equity and 1 hybrid mutual funds with a SIP of 1500 in ICICI value discovery fund. I have a health insurance of 2 Lakh rupees, 3 Lakhs in fixed deposit, 50,000 in postal scheme and 1,50,000 in savings. I wish to building a maximum corpus in next 20 years. Kindly advise on the same Thank you
Ans: First of all, congratulations on being financially disciplined at the age of 28. Your ability to save a significant portion of your income is commendable. Let’s delve into your financial situation and explore ways to maximise your corpus over the next 20 years.

Current Financial Overview
You are earning Rs 33,000 per month and spending Rs 15,000, allowing you to save Rs 18,000 monthly. You have a diversified portfolio including equity investments, mutual funds, fixed deposits, postal schemes, and savings. Additionally, you have health insurance and live in a debt-free house. These are excellent foundations for building wealth.

Emergency Fund and Insurance Coverage
An emergency fund is crucial. You have Rs 1.5 lakhs in savings and Rs 3 lakhs in fixed deposits, which is a good start. Aim to maintain an emergency fund that covers at least six months of your expenses. This ensures you have a safety net in case of unexpected events.

Health insurance is another critical aspect. You currently have a coverage of Rs 2 lakhs. Considering rising medical costs, it is advisable to enhance your health insurance to at least Rs 5 lakhs. This additional coverage can provide better protection against unforeseen medical expenses.

Investment Portfolio Analysis
Equity Market Investments:

You have Rs 80,000 invested in the equity market. Equity investments can provide significant returns over the long term but come with higher risk. Regularly monitor your investments and ensure they align with your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Mutual Funds:

You have Rs 1,30,000 invested in a mix of four equity mutual funds and one hybrid mutual fund, with a SIP of Rs 1,500 in the ICICI Value Discovery Fund. Diversifying across different types of funds can reduce risk. However, actively managed funds often outperform passive index funds due to professional management and market expertise.

Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to review the performance of your mutual funds and make adjustments if necessary. Regularly rebalancing your portfolio ensures it remains aligned with your financial goals and market conditions.

Fixed Deposits and Postal Schemes:

You have Rs 3 lakhs in fixed deposits and Rs 50,000 in a postal scheme. While these provide safety and assured returns, their growth potential is limited. Given your long-term horizon, you might want to shift a portion of these funds into higher-growth investment options such as equity mutual funds.

Maximising Savings and Investments
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP):

Your current SIP of Rs 1,500 in the ICICI Value Discovery Fund is a good start. SIPs help in averaging the cost of investments and mitigate market volatility. Increasing your SIP amount can significantly enhance your corpus over time. Given your ability to save Rs 18,000 monthly, consider allocating a larger portion to SIPs in various mutual funds.

Benefits of Regular Funds Over Direct Funds:

Direct funds might seem appealing due to lower expense ratios, but they require constant monitoring and expertise. Regular funds, managed by a Certified Financial Planner, provide professional guidance, periodic reviews, and rebalancing of your portfolio. This can lead to better-informed decisions and potentially higher returns.

Diversification and Risk Management
Asset Allocation:

A balanced asset allocation strategy can help manage risk and optimise returns. Consider spreading your investments across different asset classes such as equities, debt, and gold. This diversification can protect your portfolio from market fluctuations.

Review and Rebalance:

Regularly review your investment portfolio to ensure it stays aligned with your goals. Rebalancing involves adjusting the weightage of different asset classes based on their performance and your risk tolerance. This practice helps maintain the desired risk-reward balance.

Retirement Planning
Starting Early:

Starting your retirement planning early gives you a significant advantage due to the power of compounding. With a 20-year investment horizon, even small, regular contributions can grow substantially. Consider investing in a mix of equity and debt mutual funds tailored to your risk profile and retirement goals.

Retirement Corpus Estimation:

Estimate your retirement corpus based on your future financial needs, considering factors like inflation and lifestyle changes. Use retirement planning tools or consult a Certified Financial Planner to determine the amount required and devise a strategy to achieve it.

Tax Planning
Utilising Tax Benefits:

Utilise tax-saving investment options under Section 80C, such as Equity-Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS), Public Provident Fund (PPF), and National Savings Certificate (NSC). These not only help in tax saving but also provide good returns over the long term.

Efficient Tax Management:

Efficient tax planning involves strategically investing in tax-saving instruments and ensuring optimal use of available deductions. Regularly reviewing and adjusting your tax planning strategies can enhance your post-tax returns.

Long-Term Investment Strategies
Compounding Power:

Leverage the power of compounding by staying invested for the long term. Compounding can significantly boost your returns, especially when you reinvest the earnings from your investments. The longer your investment horizon, the more you benefit from compounding.

Avoid Timing the Market:

Market timing is challenging and often leads to suboptimal returns. Focus on a disciplined investment approach rather than trying to predict market movements. Regular investments through SIPs and staying invested through market cycles can yield better results.

Financial Discipline and Monitoring
Staying Committed:

Financial discipline is crucial for achieving your goals. Stick to your savings and investment plan, and avoid unnecessary expenses. Regularly track your progress and make adjustments as needed.

Periodic Reviews:

Conduct periodic reviews of your financial plan to ensure it remains relevant and effective. Life events and market conditions can impact your financial situation, so it’s essential to adapt your plan accordingly.

Final Insights
Building a significant corpus over the next 20 years requires a disciplined approach, strategic planning, and regular monitoring. Your current financial habits are commendable, and with some adjustments, you can further enhance your investment portfolio.

Consider increasing your SIP contributions, diversifying your investments, and enhancing your health insurance coverage. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to stay aligned with your goals. Efficient tax planning and leveraging the power of compounding will also play a crucial role in achieving your financial objectives.

Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide professional guidance and help optimise your investment strategy. Stay committed to your financial plan, and you’ll be well on your way to building a substantial corpus for your future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4703 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 11, 2024Hindi
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Money
My father in law was a widower and living with his brother.They had purchased a flat in Mumbai which was in joint name. how can my wife get her share in that flat. Her uncle says it was in either or survivor. Can the resident society delete my FIL 's name and transfer it in uncle's name without consent of my wife and her sister who are the only heirs of the deceased.
Ans: Your father-in-law (FIL) and his brother purchased a flat in Mumbai. The flat is in their joint names. After your father-in-law's passing, there are questions about how your wife can claim her share. Her uncle claims it was in either-or-survivor mode. You need to understand the legal and procedural aspects of this situation.

The Either-or-Survivor Clause
In property co-ownership, an either-or-survivor clause means that upon the death of one owner, the surviving owner becomes the sole owner. This is often used in bank accounts and property to simplify transfers.

However, this clause's applicability in your situation needs to be verified. The property's registration details and the agreement between the owners at the time of purchase are crucial.

Legal Heirs and Succession Rights
Indian inheritance laws protect the rights of legal heirs. If your father-in-law did not leave a will, the property would be divided according to the Hindu Succession Act. Your wife and her sister are legal heirs. They have a rightful claim to their father's share of the property.

Even if the property has an either-or-survivor clause, the legal heirs can challenge this. The society cannot transfer the flat solely based on the uncle's word. Proper legal procedures must be followed.

Society's Role and Consent
A housing society plays a significant role in the transfer of property titles. They ensure compliance with legal norms and protect members' rights. Your wife's consent and her sister's are necessary for the transfer process. The society cannot delete your father-in-law's name and transfer it to the uncle without this consent.

Steps to Assert Your Wife's Rights
1. Review Property Documents
Check the flat's purchase agreement and registration details. Verify if the either-or-survivor clause exists. Understand the exact nature of the ownership.

2. Obtain Legal Consultation
Consult a property lawyer. They can guide you on how to assert your wife's rights. They will help you understand the implications of the either-or-survivor clause and inheritance laws.

3. Issue a Legal Notice
If necessary, issue a legal notice to the housing society and your uncle. This notice should state your wife and her sister's claim to their father's share of the property.

4. Engage with the Housing Society
Meet with the society's management. Provide them with the necessary legal documents. Explain your wife's rights and request their cooperation in the transfer process.

Potential Challenges and How to Overcome Them
Misunderstanding of Legal Rights
The uncle may not fully understand the legal rights of the heirs. Clear communication and legal guidance can help resolve this.

Resistance from the Society
The society may hesitate to get involved in a family dispute. Providing them with clear legal directives can help them understand their role and responsibilities.

Benefits of Legal Guidance
Clarity and Confidence
Legal experts can provide clarity on complex issues. This helps you proceed with confidence.

Proper Documentation
Lawyers ensure all necessary documentation is in place. This prevents future disputes and complications.

Protecting Your Wife's Interests
Open Communication
Maintain open communication with all parties involved. This includes the uncle, the housing society, and legal advisors. Transparency can help in resolving issues amicably.

Documentation and Evidence
Keep all relevant documents and correspondence. This includes the purchase agreement, any legal notices, and communication with the society. These documents can be crucial in legal proceedings.

Final Insights
Dealing with property inheritance can be complex. However, understanding the legal aspects and asserting your rights can ensure a fair resolution. Your wife and her sister have rightful claims to their father's share of the property. With the right approach and legal guidance, you can navigate this situation effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Relationship
i am in love with my cousin bhabhi since last 10 years , we both have same age 40 years old. and had many time sexual relationship with each other, before 2-3 years back she want to stop this relationship due to her kids growing up, and we not spend time at her house due to her adult child now. but after my force we started this again and whenever we have chance we has sexual activity, but now since last 3-4 months she again ignoring me and want to stop our relationship again, as per my knowledge she ignoring me becz i dont spend much money on her rather them my wire, i also want to stop and thinking many time, but again we start this, plz help wht to do now for better, becz still i am searching time at her home to meet her alone.
Ans: Dear Suresh,
Find a house faraway from hers and let her carry on with her life and you carry on with yours...
Your relationship seems to have no future; it was just the lust that kept it on. Now that she has clearly stated that she wants to stop as the children are growing up, why are you insisting on carrying it on? It will damage all your other close relationships as well!
Move on please...

All the best!
Dear Anonymous,
No, Age is not so important in a marriage; but if it isn't, then why did you hide the fact of your real age? You have givem it that importance enough to hide it, yeah?
And any relationship based on lies or a hidden fact can cause damages...
The only way that I can see is work with the Counselor and appeal to your husband as well. Tell him that your child needs the love of both parents. Hear what he has to say...and yes, he is bound to bring up the age factor over and over again...it is something that he feels cheated with...so, respect it...Like I said, Apologize like you really mean it...

And oh, why are you so bothered about how he will treat other women in his life? Just focus on your life and your marriage...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi mam, I was in a relationship with a guy for 3 months he was uneducated but I’m a S.E. Initially everything was fine but later he started like u should not talk with other boys you should not go there you should not wear this kind of dress, I’m your husband so you should listen to me whatever I say u should do that like he started. Then he started mentally abused with so many bad words nd he slapped me twice. So I decided I don’t want to be in this relationship so I said him. Then he kept some fellows to follow me to check wat I’m doing where I’m going to get all these details. And then he said I will show both of our to your family, I will kill you like this he started. Now it is almost 2 year I’m leading my life but sometimes he will call me he will threaten me I don’t know what to do how to overcome this I can’t tell to my family I’m depressed can u please tell me what I have to do
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you married? Because he said that he is your husband...I am confused...

Anyway, NO, he has no business controlling you this way...Emotional and Physical Abuse is a strict NO NO...
Tell your family and do that NOW!!!!!!!
This man seems to be acting in a violent manner and your safety should be more of a concern...it was 2 slaps, then after that? When you did not protest for that, he simply has got the message that violence is okay with you...
No, it's not okay, right? And that's why you wrote on this platform...

Do the right thing for yourself...Protect yourself from this person first! Threats of killing you did not set off alarm bells? Why are you still letting him off so easy? This is NOT love...he is just a familiar person to you.
Familiarity does not mean Safety!!!!!! (Read this again)...

Involve your family and let him know that you are not alone; he will stop his threats knowing that you will respond to the rubbish he is subjecting you to! Speak with your family...

All the best!
Dear Anonymous,
No, Age is not so important in a marriage; but if it isn't, then why did you hide the fact of your real age? You have givem it that importance enough to hide it, yeah?
And any relationship based on lies or a hidden fact can cause damages...
The only way that I can see is work with the Counselor and appeal to your husband as well. Tell him that your child needs the love of both parents. Hear what he has to say...and yes, he is bound to bring up the age factor over and over again...it is something that he feels cheated with...so, respect it...Like I said, Apologize like you really mean it...

And oh, why are you so bothered about how he will treat other women in his life? Just focus on your life and your marriage...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 32M year old married man, working in a MNC with no to very low growth in my professional career.On the other hand my wife 28F is career oriented lady, great academician, working as an assistant professor in a good university. I feel very happy for her and on the other hand I feel I am not correct for her, as I am very average, stuck in my job, with a doubtful career growth. Please help. Should I let her know to move onn with someone better than me. She does love me and raises no concerns at all, but the feeling of dismay is from my end.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why` exactly are you assuming things for her?
If she seems to be unbothered by who is earning how much, they why are you putting so much effort into it and creating a problem?
She loves you, supports you...what you can do is also the same...Love her and support her without focusing much on who is earning how much etc. If you had earned more and she had earned less, that would have been okay? You are just giving into the patriarchal system, aren't you?
Instead rejoice in the fact, that all is well and your marriage is wonderful...So, time to remove the old cobwebs of male dominated thinking and make it a case of co-existence with your wife. She simply would want only that from you now...

All the best!
Dear Anonymous,
No, Age is not so important in a marriage; but if it isn't, then why did you hide the fact of your real age? You have givem it that importance enough to hide it, yeah?
And any relationship based on lies or a hidden fact can cause damages...
The only way that I can see is work with the Counselor and appeal to your husband as well. Tell him that your child needs the love of both parents. Hear what he has to say...and yes, he is bound to bring up the age factor over and over again...it is something that he feels cheated with...so, respect it...Like I said, Apologize like you really mean it...

And oh, why are you so bothered about how he will treat other women in his life? Just focus on your life and your marriage...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Dr Ashish - It has come to light recently that my own family members are working tirelessly to strain the relationship between my wife and myself. I came to know about it after almost 2 decades of my marriage. I am shocked to know that my character assassination has been happening since day 1. As I was very busy with my work and other commitments, I was completely not aware of these developments behind my back. Infact my wife also never revealed it to me. She is an independent woman working in a corporate. These differences have caused so much strain in our relationships. The mutual trust had taken a severe beating. At times I have seen her taken over by a feeling of helplessness. As things are clearer now, I am trying to alienate circumstances that might lead to any kind of differences. However, my wife does not think it is a good idea to stay away from our own people. The result is whenever these people come into our otherwise peaceful and a very comfortable life, we tend to fight over the differences created by them. Please advise what can be done here.
Ans: Navigating family dynamics, especially when it involves deep-rooted misunderstandings and long-standing tensions, can be exceptionally challenging. Here are some strategies to consider:

1. Open and Honest Communication
Begin by having a candid conversation with your wife. Acknowledge the feelings and experiences she has gone through. It's important to create a safe space where both of you can express your thoughts and emotions without judgment.

2. Set Boundaries
Discuss and establish boundaries regarding interactions with family members. These boundaries are not about cutting ties but about protecting your relationship from negative influences. Agree on what is acceptable and what isn't when it comes to family involvement.

3. Seek Professional Help
Consider seeking the assistance of a relationship counselor or a therapist. A neutral third party can facilitate conversations, helping both of you understand each other's perspectives better and find common ground.

4. Focus on Your Relationship
Spend quality time together, reconnecting and rebuilding trust. Engage in activities that you both enjoy and that strengthen your bond. This will help remind both of you why you chose each other in the first place.

5. Educate and Inform
Gently inform your family about the impact their actions have had on your relationship. This doesn’t have to be confrontational. Use “I” statements to express how their behavior has affected you and your marriage.

6. Mutual Support
Reinforce mutual support and understanding. Recognize that both of you are on the same team and that the goal is to protect and nurture your relationship. Express appreciation for each other’s efforts in navigating these challenges.

7. Long-term Perspective
Understand that change will not happen overnight. Be patient and persistent in your efforts to create a more harmonious environment. Celebrate small victories and progress in your relationship.

8. Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence
Practice mindfulness and enhance your emotional intelligence. Being aware of your own emotions and managing them effectively can help in responding rather than reacting to stressful situations. This can also aid in understanding your wife’s emotional responses better.

Final Thoughts
Building a fortress around your relationship doesn’t mean isolating yourselves from family but rather strengthening your bond to withstand external pressures. Your wife’s perspective on staying connected with family is valid, and finding a balance that respects both of your views is crucial. It’s about creating a unified front and handling external influences together.

This journey requires patience, understanding, and a commitment to each other. By taking these steps, you can work towards rebuilding trust and harmony in your marriage.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Relationship
Hello sir, thanks for your previous response. I am a bit curious about how relationships fall into routine and predictability. We all know that every relationship has a phase where passion wanes and people settle in routine and predictable life. But only some of them get attracted towards potential partners outside while some don't. Why this happens and is it different for men and women?
Ans: Relationships, like any dynamic process, evolve over time. Initially, there's a phase filled with excitement and discovery, often driven by passion and novelty. As time progresses, this high-energy state transitions into a more stable and predictable pattern, which can sometimes be perceived as mundane. The predictability in relationships is not inherently negative; it provides a sense of security and trust. However, the challenge lies in maintaining the balance between comfort and excitement.

Why Some People Seek Excitement Outside the Relationship:
Unmet Needs:

When certain emotional, psychological, or physical needs aren't met within the relationship, individuals might seek fulfillment elsewhere. This isn't necessarily about dissatisfaction but about finding what they feel is missing.
Desire for Novelty:

Humans are naturally inclined towards novelty and excitement. Some individuals have a higher need for variety and may seek new experiences or connections outside their relationship to satisfy this craving.
Emotional Distance:

Over time, couples can drift apart emotionally. If there's a lack of emotional intimacy or unresolved conflicts, one might look for connection outside the relationship.
Validation and Self-Esteem:

Some people seek validation and a boost in self-esteem from new admirers. This external validation can be intoxicating, especially if they feel underappreciated within their current relationship.
Differences Between Men and Women:
While individual differences often overshadow gender differences, certain trends have been observed:

Social Conditioning:

Men and women are often socialized differently, affecting their approach to relationships and infidelity. Men might be conditioned to seek multiple partners to prove their virility, while women might seek emotional connections.
Emotional vs. Physical Needs:

Generally, women may seek emotional fulfillment, while men might be more inclined towards physical satisfaction. However, this is not a rule and varies greatly among individuals.
Communication Styles:

Women often emphasize emotional sharing and communication, which can prevent emotional drift. Men might struggle with this, leading to unmet emotional needs.
Risk vs. Reward:

Men might be more willing to take risks for immediate rewards, while women might consider the broader implications and long-term effects on the family and relationship.
Maintaining Balance and Preventing Predictability:
Open Communication:

Regularly discussing desires, needs, and concerns can prevent emotional drift and unmet needs.
Shared Activities:

Engaging in new activities together can reignite the spark and bring novelty into the relationship.
Emotional Intimacy:

Building and maintaining emotional intimacy through shared experiences, empathy, and understanding can strengthen the bond.
Self-Reflection:

Individuals should reflect on their own needs and communicate them effectively. Understanding oneself is key to understanding the relationship dynamics.
Appreciation and Gratitude:

Regularly expressing appreciation and gratitude can boost self-esteem and reinforce the positive aspects of the relationship.
In the end, each relationship is unique, and understanding the individual needs and dynamics at play is essential. By fostering open communication, emotional intimacy, and mutual respect, couples can navigate the phases of their relationship with greater ease and fulfillment.

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