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I'm struggling with mental health issues after my father's passing and a toxic work environment. Can I find peace without leaving my job or family?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 08, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

HI, I am don't want to disclose name I am facing some mental issue from last two year. In March my father passed I have not good relation with my parent, because their exception are very high which is not possible for me to satisfied. So after my father my mother start daily fight with me for small small thing, my mother has long history of mental issue, and my father did not address that . Now she want to what she did with my father. Due to daily quarrel my daily day to activity got affected. I can’t concentrate on my self. My confidence is loosing. I want to be alone and in peace. I have loving wife and caring son, but still I feel lost. And after covid my office atmosphere also get dirty. My senior keep me irritating without any issue. I know my problem is my mother and second is my office boss. Is there is any way without leaving to them. Otherwise, I am determined to leave both of them and live my life peacefully. Please advice

Ans: First, regarding your mother, it’s crucial to establish boundaries. Her mental health struggles are serious, but they shouldn’t be allowed to overshadow your own well-being. It might be helpful to seek professional support for her, such as counseling or therapy. If she’s unwilling, then finding ways to distance yourself emotionally from her criticism is key. It's not easy, but learning not to absorb her negativity can help protect your mental health. You might also consider speaking to a counselor yourself to help you process these feelings and find strategies for coping with her behavior without having to completely sever ties.

As for your work situation, it sounds like the toxic environment is wearing you down. If leaving isn’t an immediate option, try to find small ways to shield yourself from the negativity. Can you limit your interactions with your senior or find ways to compartmentalize work stress so it doesn’t bleed into your personal life? Sometimes, focusing on things outside of work—hobbies, time with your wife and son—can provide a needed escape.

It sounds like you're craving solitude and peace, and while leaving both your mother and your job might seem like a solution, it may not be the only one. Start with small, manageable changes: establishing firmer boundaries with your mother, finding a counselor to talk to, and protecting your emotional space at work. These steps can help you regain control and give you the peace you're seeking without drastic decisions. Remember, you deserve that peace, and it’s possible to find it with the right support.
Asked on - Sep 10, 2024 | Not Answered yet
Thank you Kanjan Ji . Your advice mean for me. Again best regards

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NIT Raipur is an NIT, which holds a national-level prestige, but its CSE department is not as highly ranked as top-tier NITs.

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NIT Raipur CSE has decent placements, but the average package (8–10 LPA) is lower compared to BIT Mesra.

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NIT Raipur has an average coding culture, but motivated students can still do well.

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Ans: Dear solar,
In sab ke beech, aapke girlfriend ka kya kehna hai? Woh aapne bataaya nahin. Kya woh apne parents ko tall sakegi aur kitni der kar paayegi? Kya woh aapke jon lagne tak intezzar karna chahti hai? Aisa lag raha hai ki is rishte ka wazan aap leke ghoom rake ho...thoda apne girlfriend ke saath baithkar plan kijiye taaki woh bhi aapke saath is samasya ka hal dhoond sake.
Ek baat toh hai ki uske parents ko manaana mushkil hoga aur jab tak aapki job nahin lagti woh is rishte ke liye raazi nahin honge. Toh plan yeh karna ki jab tak aapki naukri lage, tab tak aap dono is baat ko aur is samasaya ko aur uske parents ko kaise sambhalenge. Joh bhi ho saath mein milke plan karna.

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I am married 44 and wife 41 with loving twin daughters. Apart from minor compatibility issues she hates my sister's and keep shouting with his parents who almost every year come to my house and stay for 2 to 3 months. They are financially independent but they could just not let go her daughter to take it independent decisions. I never reply back to them due to my daughter's and social shaming fear. They will never settle for a mutual divorse and I don't want the trauma of court. It's very painful when I see my wife suffering when she is shouting. I even feel pain when I see my in laws in pain due to their daughter's suffering. My parents always want us to settle thing and never interfere in negative way. They keep fighting with me mostly for my mistakes/words of history. (I still think I haven't done anything wrong or used wrong words. Her parents now don't leave or visit their son's home due to issues with their daughter in law. I tried of leaving separately for few months but they did not agree. I have once slapped my wife. I almost tried sucide twice but could not do it as my parents will not survive this news. My parents and sisters want me to be happy with her. What options do I have except sucide/court.
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Forget everyone... Marriage is between two people and only they matter. You can't see your wife in pain, right? Then there's obviously affection still left for her. Work this out as a couple. Take a vacation away from in-laws, sister, parents...people can complicate matters more than the couple themselves...The two of you do need this time by yourselves to rebuild your marriage. Do it with an intention to work things out and you maybe surprised as to how things can get rebuilt between the two of you.

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Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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