Caught in a Family Feud - How to Cope?

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing in your relationship with your mother. It can be challenging when there are differences in opinions and expectations, especially when it comes to caregiving and managing family dynamics. Here are a few suggestions that might help you navigate this situation:

Communication: It's important to have open and honest communication with your mother. Try to express your feelings calmly and respectfully, and listen to her perspective as well. Sharing your concerns and thoughts can help create a better understanding between both of you.

Seek support: While you may not want to burden your husband with these issues, it's still essential to have someone to talk to and seek support from. Consider confiding in a close friend or a counselor who can provide an objective viewpoint and offer guidance on how to cope with the emotional stress.

Boundaries: Establishing boundaries is crucial in any relationship. Make it clear to your mother what you can and cannot do, taking into account your own personal and family commitments. It's important to find a balance between caring for her and taking care of yourself and your own family.

Sibling involvement: If you feel overwhelmed and alone in taking care of your mother, you can try to involve your siblings more actively in the process. Have an open conversation with them, express your concerns, and see if they can contribute in any way, whether it's by providing emotional support or assisting with certain responsibilities.

Patience and empathy: Understand that your mother's behavior and expectations may be influenced by her upbringing, cultural beliefs, and personal experiences. Try to approach situations with empathy, even if it's challenging. Remember that she may be experiencing her own struggles and fears as she grows older.

Self-care: Taking care of your own well-being is essential. Ensure that you make time for yourself, engage in activities that bring you joy, and maintain a healthy work-life balance. By taking care of yourself, you'll be better equipped to handle the challenges that arise in your relationship with your mother.

Remember, it's normal to feel frustrated and emotionally drained in such situations. However, with patience, understanding, and effective communication, you may be able to improve your relationship with your mother and find a balance that works for both of you.

Ans: Hello Manish,
mental health issues can be complex, and professional guidance is crucial. Consult with mental health professionals to create a plan tailored to your family's specific situation. It's important to prioritize the safety and well-being of your family. If your brother's behavior becomes threatening or harmful, it may be necessary to maintain physical and emotional distance while encouraging him to seek help. Look for support groups or organizations that specialize in helping families dealing with mental health issues. They can provide guidance, resources, and a network of people who have faced similar challenges. Consider arranging a family intervention, facilitated by a mental health professional, where you can express your concerns about your brother's behavior and encourage him to seek help. It's important to approach this with empathy and understanding. while you mentioned that you don't want to go the legal route, in extreme cases, you may need to consider legal options like obtaining a court order for involuntary psychiatric evaluation. This should be considered as a last resort and only if your brother poses a serious threat to himself or others.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
IGNORE!
The best way to get around people like these even if they are family is to ignore.
In a small way, it's like ignoring a bully...the more you give a bully attention, they seem to want to bully more. As long as you are able to show that what they do does not matter to you or you can be unbothered by it, they will soften their behavior towards you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anuj,
Listen, you are 17 but have begun to 'act' much older. Be your age and yes, at times the older sibling will be held responsible and sometimes the younger one too. Focus on studies, games and just being your age...there is a lot of time for you to play a grown-up and hey, that's not easy at all...so go slow...it may seem unfair that you get into the middle of things but as long as the family stays together, consider yourself fortunate. So, it's not yet time for you to think of what's going to happen when you really become the much 'older' brother, alright...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: What if the real issue isn’t the fights themselves, but the pattern they keep following? Every argument seems to have the same players, the same reactions, and the same outcome. But if nothing changes, where does that leave you? When emotions take over, who holds the power in the conversation - you or the reaction? If external voices are shaping your marriage, how much space is left for your own voice?
You can’t control how others behave, but you do control how you respond. If the same approach keeps leading to conflict, what would happen if you changed the way you engage? Would setting boundaries feel different if they came from a place of clarity rather than frustration? Would communication shift if the goal was to understand rather than to win?
The question isn’t just how to stop the fights - it’s how to break the cycle. Where do you start?
Wishing you success,
Aamish Dhingra
ICF-PCC Certified Life Coach
Co-Founder, Cocoweave Coaching International, Delhi