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Dr Ashish Sehgal | Answer |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 18, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2023Hindi

Relationship

I am from Middle class family. Our parents, 2 brothers, my sister and Me.My Father is no more and my mom lives alone. She does not want to stay with any of us. We all live out of country and my mother lives in India. My mother is not dependent on us financially and she can manage on her own and does not expect money from any of us. She is getting old and we need to take care of her, but I feel I am only one who checks on her and arranges for any small things she needs. My sibling don't even talk about it, I feel they think if they talk about it then they have do something. Like every other old person my mother and me have a lot of differences on everything like managing finances, or renewing something or going to hospital etc and I become the bad person because of these matters. My siblings don't get involved they just call her once a while and talk for while and manage to stay in her good books. I know that it is my duty to take care of her but I feel not appreciated or rejected when she ignores all the things I do for her when others don't. She is also old school and favors boys over girls and reject me saying that I am from a different family and always guilt traps me saying that she educated me but i earn and spent on my husband family. She hates my in-laws, but they are nice people and my husband is very supportive. Since it is my mother I don't tell these issues to anyone even my husband and it is destroying my Peace.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing in your relationship with your mother. It can be challenging when there are differences in opinions and expectations, especially when it comes to caregiving and managing family dynamics. Here are a few suggestions that might help you navigate this situation:

Communication: It's important to have open and honest communication with your mother. Try to express your feelings calmly and respectfully, and listen to her perspective as well. Sharing your concerns and thoughts can help create a better understanding between both of you.

Seek support: While you may not want to burden your husband with these issues, it's still essential to have someone to talk to and seek support from. Consider confiding in a close friend or a counselor who can provide an objective viewpoint and offer guidance on how to cope with the emotional stress.

Boundaries: Establishing boundaries is crucial in any relationship. Make it clear to your mother what you can and cannot do, taking into account your own personal and family commitments. It's important to find a balance between caring for her and taking care of yourself and your own family.

Sibling involvement: If you feel overwhelmed and alone in taking care of your mother, you can try to involve your siblings more actively in the process. Have an open conversation with them, express your concerns, and see if they can contribute in any way, whether it's by providing emotional support or assisting with certain responsibilities.

Patience and empathy: Understand that your mother's behavior and expectations may be influenced by her upbringing, cultural beliefs, and personal experiences. Try to approach situations with empathy, even if it's challenging. Remember that she may be experiencing her own struggles and fears as she grows older.

Self-care: Taking care of your own well-being is essential. Ensure that you make time for yourself, engage in activities that bring you joy, and maintain a healthy work-life balance. By taking care of yourself, you'll be better equipped to handle the challenges that arise in your relationship with your mother.

Remember, it's normal to feel frustrated and emotionally drained in such situations. However, with patience, understanding, and effective communication, you may be able to improve your relationship with your mother and find a balance that works for both of you.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 07, 2023

Question by Leena - Feb 02, 2023Hindi

I am brought up in a middle class family where both my parents were working. I am the elder sister and I have a younger brother. Since childhood i feel that my mother has given more time and efforts towards my brother. When he asks something he gets it and when I ask I'm told that it's not required. My mother pretends that she treats both of us equal but i can feel the difference. I'm currently married with a 4 year old kid. My husband is very loving and we have a happy family. My issue now begins when my mother comes to stay/visit us. She begins pointing faults and imposing decisions on us. She does that same with my husband and he doesn't like it either. My mother wants to prove herself right even if she is wrong and will never accept her faults. She is interfering with my child's upbringing too. She will never ever behave like that with my brother. I won't deny the fact that she comes to help when I need since I have no inlaws but just because she knows that we need her she will try to dominate over us. One example is that when my child was 10 months i got a potty seat and she never let me put my kid on it saying that kid is too young and because of this my kid never sat in toilet till he turned 4 years. Another is that she used to feed my son only biscuits all the time even when I used to oppose. Also, once she fed my son ice cream when he was 1 year old and my child developed fever next day and she put blame on me saying I took him our for walk in the evening hence my child got fever. When I used silicon brush to brush my kids teeth she stopped me saying there's no need to brush before 1 month when i objected and continued doing it she blamed .e whenever my kid cried saying that his gums are hurting because you brushed his teeth. Many more such incidents where she puts blame on me and tries to prove me wrong She will almost daily try n tell me that my husband is blaming her for groceries getting over/ equipment not working etc which I know my husband does not (he is very kind hearted ) and she just keeps all this misunderstanding in her head. Many times I've clarified by talking to both of them together. Now, my husband is going out of town and again my mother will be coming. I'm fed-up of these fights n arguments but when in emergency i have to rely on her but she takes full advantage of the fact that I need her. I can't take this anymore and its affecting my mental health

Ans: Dear Leena,
I hear you!
But do allow me to give you a perspective. Relationships are never easy to maintain and manage as they involve emotions and layers through it all. Mothers can at times see their daughters as people who they need to groom for life. It's possible that your mother is doing the same thing. She has made it her sole responsibility to continue to groom you so that you earn a good name in your husband's household. This isn't me saying it, it's the way age-old beliefs could be seeping through your mother.
Now, it has become an interference and it must be conveyed to her. At first, it will hurt her and she might react to it by reminding you of all the sacrifices that she has made in order to raise you; but mind you, be steady in what you convey.
She will eventually understand that her daughter does not need to be monitored and taught to lead her life, but just needs a support system around her. Of course, there might be a withdrawal when she has to help you, but be firm on how you would like be treated from now on.
Polite yet firm is something that works well to avoid conflicts within relationships; so use that well.
Also, the differentiation between you and your brother might just be that she gives you tough love. Tough love is shown by a parent/authority figure to another in order to toughen the other person up and in severe cases it may result in submissiveness. In your case, it is likely that she has a certain belief on how boys and girls must be raised. It will change only when she changes her belief. For now, focus on creating a better environment at home by taking charge and being polite and firm with your mother.
And do know, at the end of the day, she is a mother....love sets everything right.
All the best!

Kanchan Rai |645 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi I am 64 years old. Still workig in a Private company. My mother is 85 years old and she is with me since my father's death in 1985. I have lost my brother in an accident in 1985. I have three sisters all are living in my city only. My mother is almost bedridden. My wife, 62 years old is a heart patient and recently she has fallen and her knee got fractured. My wife and my mother never liked each other and always quarrel. My mother , being very week and helpless, always scolds my wife. We have made an arrangement with a catering guy who takes care of my mother's lunch. But dinner i have to prepare everyday which i have been doing for the last 20 years. My three sisters often come to visit my mother and give her fruits etc etc to please her. The problem is they agree to keep my mother in their homes once in while for two or three days but i have to beg them always when i have to go for any functions or to visit places , temples. But they never come forward to support me even if i am sick or if i have to attend any marriages, functions. This gives a scope for my wife to quarrel with me and many times we have cancelled our tickets just to be at home to look after my mother. Please tell me what to do do. I am also becoming old and want to take my wife with me to attend functions and to show her the places, as a husband. And my wife always quarrels with me that if at this age when we are able to walk and capable of going to places, when can we go ? I am not able to convince my three sister(elder one is already bedridden so i can not ask her )_ nor i am in a position to do justice to my wife's pleas. Please suggest me.

Ans: Hello Sir,
It's clear that you're facing a challenging situation, juggling responsibilities between your elderly mother, your wife, and your own desire for some personal time. Balancing these caregiving responsibilities while maintaining a healthy relationship with your wife can be emotionally and physically exhausting. It's essential to find a balance that works for everyone involved, including yourself. Seeking support from your extended family, exploring professional caregiving options, and prioritizing open communication can contribute to finding a more sustainable and harmonious caregiving arrangement. Have an open and honest conversation with your sisters about your situation, expressing your need for support. Emphasize the strain it's putting on your relationship with your wife and the importance of having some time for yourselves. Consider organizing a family meeting where you can discuss the caregiving responsibilities and come up with a plan that works for everyone. This can help distribute the load more evenly and address any concerns or misunderstandings Explore the option of hiring a professional caregiver or nurse to provide assistance to your mother. This could ease the burden on you and provide a more structured care plan for your mother's needsTake care of your own health and well-being. Work with your sisters to establish a schedule for them to take turns caring for your mother. This way, you can plan your personal time in advance and ensure that your wife's concerns are addressed. Ensure you are not neglecting your physical and mental health in the midst of caregiving responsibilities.

Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 29, 2024

Question by RERA - Nov 21, 2024Hindi

Relationship

This pertains to my parents. I got married at the age of 30 about 18 years ago and have a dear and loving spouse who believed in contributing to our home and didn't wish to be a home maker. Since we were living in a joint family, my father wanted only us to spend for the full house without much/negligible contribution. My elder brother's spouse is from a well to do family and they started to live independently from the beginning of their marriage. In spite of running the total household expenses, we have from the beginning learnt to save and we planned many vacation trips, overseas and domestic alike. My mother could not and till date cannot appreciate the fact that only the 2 of us are holidaying and she wanted to be part of our holidays which we have vehemently denied as that was a me-time for both of us. She has held this sourness against us although this comes out in her discussion occasionally. In spite of living together and addressing all needs of my elderly parents, my mother is perpetually complaining about not doing enough. I have tried to leave home and separate out as 2-3 times the fight with her had gone out of bounds because of her behaving un-reasonably weird. At times she takes care of all of us and at times she speaks so bitter about me and my wife, it is had to understand if it was the same person. My father has been a quiet individual and he has no opinions on anyone and will not side with anyone, neither will he call out any wrongdoing & there is no point in talking to him as his only objective is to have a peaceful life and have 3 meals a day without caring about anyone else in the world. 9 years ago i was laid off and i was almost compelled to start a real estate business with my father, this work requires mental and physical dedication which i have put and established myself in a respectable stage. Since the beginning my father had wanted to only take the accounting bit of the business as his responsibility as he does not know anything else. He has not let me look at accounts ever and he kind of pays me a salary whatever he deems fit at the end of the month, he also retains a large chunk with him and pays mom to run the house from the business. Although he has no travel, not going out of home, and no friends, he still needs the money for which he has not described or spoken when asked, mom and i suspect he is funding another family at our expense but we are not sure, as he has maintained a secret life for his entire life. 6 months ago me and my wife purchased a home and shifted and even now his approach towards my family needs is nonchalant as he keeps the major pie of the business income regardless of not putting any effort or work. At one end there is my mother who has demands all the time, at the other end my father is almost stealing from me without any justification or clarification. Somehow both of us are living separate and managing a peaceful life with very little which remains after servicing all Emi's and plus we also manage to contribute little to my father in law for running his household. Both of us seem to be burned out as our close ones only think of us only when money is required. Sometimes i feel i should shut shop and do something else, i also upscaled myself by clearing MBA at the age of 45 during covid so that some employer may consider me worthy and in spite of applying to 450+ job openings no one considers my resume to be appropriate. My wife is employed in a senior managerial position with a mnc and both of us fear that in 10 years time we will have nothing left with us and no one to take care of ourselves. Its frustrating as there seems no path forward, can u suggest anything ?

Ans: Dear RERA,
Living in a separate home in your case would have to mean that you keep your finances separately as well.
Your older brother must pitch in as well for parents; so please have that chat with him. There's no point in playing a martyr and then worry about being taken advantage of. When you say YES, when you actually want to say NO, is the beginning of a whole lot of issues which is what has happened...
So, now rewind and start clearing things one by one. Start by talking to your brother who will also need to contribute towards parents. Next, what your father does with that money is something you may never know; what you can do is CAP the amount so that he does not think that he has a perennial source of money. Kindly go on more trips with your wife so that your mother gets used to this fact. Plan trips at least once a year with the entire family which is where your mother will also enjoy and understand that she is not being ignored but actually cared for.
Plan your life with your spouse and make decisions that are financially prudent as you need to take care of yourselves as well.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 22, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hello Sir/Madam. I am 42 years old, married with two children. I live with my single mother, who is 74 years old, in her house. My brother, who is 48 years old, lives separately with his family about 10 kilometers away. Whenever my mother is hospitalized, sick, or in need of any support, my brother and sister-in-law neither assist us financially nor with their physical presence. They provide numerous excuses for not helping. Only after much family persuasion does my brother agree to help. My wife and I are the only ones who support my mother financially and physically whenever needed. Conversely, my mother and I have always supported my brother financially and physically whenever required. My mother does not like staying with my brother and sister-in-law. However, she maintains a good relationship with them as they do not retaliate against her. My mother often interferes with our eating habits, especially regarding our weekend outings for leisure or movies. When I wanted to renovate the kitchen in my newly purchased house, she strongly objected. My mother insists that her opinion matters; otherwise, there is no point in having a relationship among us. Sometimes, she even imposes my brother and sister-in-law’s suggestions on us. Whenever I oppose her views, it irritates her, and we start quarreling. My mother then curses us, saying that if her suggestions are not implemented, it will cause trouble for us in the future. It often ends with her saying that she is dead to us and wants to end our relationship. We reconcile after a long time. Hence, we sometimes feel that our freedom is restricted. I tried to explain to my mother that a true relationship is one where prompt support is provided when needed, not when someone opposes her views. I feel that instead of talking about breaking the relationship with me during our fights, my mother should discuss breaking the relationship with my brother and sister-in-law, and I have often discussed this with her. But my mother does not seem to understand and feels that she needs to fulfill her duties as a mother. I am planning to relocate to my own house next year, which is about 60 kilometers away. I have decided to break my relationship with my brother and sister-in-law as I do not want any superficial relationship. Please help as I am tired of quarreling with my mother.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
So, you find it easier to abandon your family because your brother and sister-in-law don't pitch in, your mother is interfering, your mother according to you should break ties with her other child!
Do you not sense the weight of expectations is the one actually ruining your peace of mind and hence your relationships? Yes, of course, your sibling can pitch in more; did it not occur to you that you can talk to him and his wife and actually request them to be more hands-on?
And why should your mother break ties with your brother? Is that the way you will feel validated by her OR that will show you that she recognizes what you do for her?
Do remember, never do anything for anyone (within relationships) with an expectation that you will get something in return. Selflessness is what will ensure that you have better quality relationships.
If you feel at some point that you are being taken for granted, then say so and set things right. Indulging in this kind of 'demand' that things must be a particular way is not going to happen especially when you come from a space where the ultimate deed is breaking relationships.
It takes one impulsive move to break relationships, so tread carefully, keep your emotions away from fueling your expectations and it will actually let see things for what they truly are. This will enable you take the next steps in a very meaningful way where no bridges are burned.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2025Hindi

Relationship

I am 27 years old normal middle class girl , I have a family of 5 including my parents and one sister and brother. I am a software engineer earning 1 lakh. My mother is very happy and proud of me , but at the same time she has burdened me with over expectations . She asked me to renovate our old house , to which i happily agreed . But she kept asking for more. Because of her bad marriage she asked me not to marry , but i already have a boyfriend . I doubt that now more than the fear of marrying wrong person she is more afraid of the money which will be gone out of the house, if i marry someone. Because she never forbid marriage to my sister and brother , in fact she keeps planning for their marriage . i thought i will handle these problems later, by telling her that how nice my boyfriend is. Now the worst part is , she even asked me to buy flat for my brother , after i am done rennovating our house . I denied, which left her confused . But she never pushes my brother towards study and these days even my brother has become careless . She still thinks that my money is our family money forever, because I should never marry . I had several fights with her because I kept nagging her to ask my brother to study . Actually she thinks that I am brilliant and I should do everything for my brother, and my brother is not that intelligent like me . My mom is failed to understand that my brother is a lazy guy who doesn't want to study . She is not focused in overall growth of our family where everyone work hard, she is just happy that I started earning and it doesn't matter much that any other family member is earning or not . All these things are burdening me .

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You have officially become the ATM for your family. Move out of home...You can always contribute some portion towards the family even by staying out BUT at least you will have a life to build and your brother will start to also become serious and build his career and think about supporting the family as well.
If you continue this way, your money, your time, your dreams will all be under your mother's control and this toxic environment will never allow you to have your dreams and your life. So act NOW!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P P |10853 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 09, 2025

Question by Mannan - Dec 08, 2025Hindi

Career

Hello sir, While filling the JEE registration form, I had mistakenly added Mr. and Mrs. prefixes at my parent's name respectively. Their names are without prefixes in my matriculation certificates and Aadhaar card. I have been advised to make two affidavits stating the prefix discrepancy for the JOSAA Counselling. Since the discrepancy is with two names, Is it big enough to get my admission rejected? If not, with which documents should i submit the affidavits along with so that a query is not raised during the JOSAA counselling?

Ans: Mannan, Your admission will NOT be rejected for this minor discrepancy. Prefix additions (Mr./Mrs.) are considered minor name discrepancies. JOSAA accepts affidavits clarifying such issues.?

Submit affidavits alongside:? (a) Class 10 marksheet/Aadhaar card (proof of correct names) (b) Class 12 marksheet (c) JEE Main admit card. Important: Affidavits must clarify the prefix discrepancy exists in registration only, not in original documents. Respond promptly to any JOSAA verification queries; non-response causes disqualification. Many candidates resolve similar discrepancies annually without admission issues. All the BEST for Your JEE-2026!

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IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 08, 2025Hindi

Career

Hello sir, While filling the JEE registration form, I had mistakenly added Mr. and Mrs. prefixes at my parent's name respectively. Their names are without prefixes in my matriculation certificates and Aadhaar card. I have been advised to make two affidavits stating the prefix discrepancy for the JOSAA Counselling. Since the discrepancy is with two names, Is it big enough to get my admission rejected? If not, with which documents should i submit the affidavits along with so that a query is not raised during the JOSAA counselling ?

Ans: Hi
Don't worry. This won't get your application rejected.

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IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 18, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir I passed class 12th from Maharashtra board (PCMB + English) I scored 48 in chemistry 52 in physics and 46 in biology I have a marksheet from Nios board which consists only one subject biology in which I scored 58 marks , My question is am I eligible for admission in mbbs ( govt college ) if I score good in Neet 2026 ??? Can I combine state board (PCB)marksheet + Nios ( biology marksheet) to fullfill 50% PCB aggregate score ?? I am from general Ews category please resolve my query

Ans: I recommend appearing for all 5 subjects through NIOS

Asked on - Dec 08, 2025 | Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Am I ineligible for mbbs?? Will they reject me?

Ans: Might be as you gave PCMB already from MS board. There is not concrete answer in counselling brochure.

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My son is preparing for JEE. He wants to pursue Mathematics in the future.Just wanted to know, which are the acclaimed universities which are good for research in the field of Maths , which he can aim for?, and can resaerch also be a career option in our country?. Thank you.

Ans: Hello
IITs are the top institutions wherein you can take Applied Maths. Apart from that Indian Statistical Institute, Chennai Mathematical Institute, IISc Bangalore, Tata Institute of Fundamental Research, IISERs are the other good options in our country.

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IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Question by Amit - Nov 21, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir mera ek doubt hai ki maine class 12th 2024 me diya hai bihar board se aur jee mains first time appear in 2025 bit jee advanced ke liye qulify nahi kar paye to mai jee advanced 2026 ke liye ellible honge aur agar mai nios se dubara 12th de kar jee mains ke form me apperaing fill kar de to kya tab jee advanced 2026 ke liye ellible honge plese sir maine bahut logo se pucha hai lekin koi kabhi koi answer deta hai aur 1 hours baad koi aur answers mai ummeed karta hu ki aap mujhe honest answer denge

Ans: Hello Amit
Aap JEE-Advanced 2026 nahi de paoge.

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IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Question by barnalimahata - Nov 22, 2025Hindi

Career

I have state government obc from government of West Bengal, my community is also listed in central obc list so do I need to make obc issued by central government for reservation in IIT

Ans: Hi
Yes, you will need to make obc issued by the central government for reservation in IIT/NIT/IIITs

Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Question by Shubha - Dec 07, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Have read some of your answers and I am appalled as to how biased you seem. To most daughters in law you have suggested basically to shut up and best abuse for ‘family peace’ whereas when a man complains of his wife being close to her mother you go like ‘oh what a woman’. Looking at your profile one expects you would teach your clients assertiveness, self respect and fairness.

Ans: Dear Shubha,
Thank you for looking up my responses.
A while back a man accused me of being biased towards the woman and you are accusing me of being biased towards a man; there's no pleasing everyone, yeah?
Whatever you have gleaned to come to a conclusion of 'oh what a woman' and you saying that I am asking people to shut up, is something you may have to reflect upon.
A small guiding tip for you: We read and understand based on what we WANT to read and understand. Without throwing labels here, I can say that a crusader of women's rights will always start with the premise of 'everything is against women' and operate from there; you get the drift? Will help you reflect deeper!
My responses have and will always be objective and will continue to guide people to a better life.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 08, 2025Hindi

Money

Hi i am 40M. would request your help to understand what should be the corpus required for retirement as i want to get retired in next 3-5yrs. currently my take home is 2.3L monthly & my wife also works but leaving the job in next 2-3 months. we have a daughter 10yrs, currently i stay on rent and total monthly expense is 1.1L month. once i will retire we will shift in our own parental flat, where hopefully there will be no rent. current Investments 1. 50L in REC bonds getting matured in 2029 2. 42L in stocks 3. 17L in MF 4. 16L FD 5. 15L in PPF 6. 1.3L SIP monthly i do My Wife Investments 1. 30L corpus 2. flat with current value 40L and we get rental of 10K monthly. Please guide what should be the retirement corpus required combined to retire, assuming i need 75L for my daughter post grad and marriage and we would be requiring 75K monthly for our expenses after retiring

Ans: You have explained your income, goals, current assets, and future plans with great clarity. Your early planning spirit is strong. This gives a very good base. You can reach a peaceful retirement with smart steps in the next few years.

» Your Current Position

You are 40 years old. You plan to retire in 3 to 5 years. You earn Rs 2.3 lakh per month. Your wife also works but will stop working soon. You have one daughter aged 10. Your current monthly cost is around Rs 1.1 lakh. This cost will reduce after retirement because you will shift to your parental flat.

Your investment base is already good. You have saved in bonds, stocks, mutual funds, PPF, FD, and SIP. Your wife also has her own savings and rental income from a flat. All these create a good starting point.

This early base helps you plan stronger. It also gives room for more shaping. You are on the right road.

» Your Family Goals

You need Rs 75 lakh for your daughter’s higher education and marriage.

You want Rs 75,000 per month for family living after retirement.

You want to retire in 3 to 5 years.

You will shift to your parental flat after retirement.

You will have rental income of Rs 10,000 from your wife’s flat.

These goals are clear. They give direction. They allow a strong plan.

» Your Present Investments

Your investments include:

Rs 50 lakh in REC bonds maturing in 2029.

Rs 42 lakh in stocks.

Rs 17 lakh in mutual funds.

Rs 16 lakh in fixed deposits.

Rs 15 lakh in PPF.

Rs 1.3 lakh as monthly SIP.

Your wife holds:

Rs 30 lakh corpus.

A flat worth Rs 40 lakh with rent of Rs 10,000 each month.

Your combined net worth is healthy. This gives good power to build your retirement fund in the coming years.

» Understanding Your Expense Need After Retirement

You expect Rs 75,000 per month after retirement. This includes all basic needs. You will not have rent. That reduces cost. This assumption looks fair today.

Your cost will rise with inflation. So you must plan for rising needs. A strong retirement corpus must support rising cost for 40 to 45 years because you are retiring early.

An early retirement needs a large buffer. So you need safety along with growth. Your plan must include growth assets and safety assets.

» How Much Monthly Income You Will Need Later

Rs 75,000 per month is Rs 9 lakh per year. In future years, this cost can rise. If we assume steady rise, your future cost will be much higher.

So the retirement corpus must be designed to:

Give monthly income.

Beat inflation.

Support you for 40 to 45 years.

Protect your family even in market down cycles.

Allow flexibility if your needs change.

A strong retirement fund must support both safety and long-term growth.

» How Much Corpus You Should Target

A safe target is a large and flexible corpus that can support long years without running out of money. For early retirement, the usual thumb rule suggests a very high number. This is because you need income for many decades.

You need a corpus big enough to produce rising income. You also need a cushion for unexpected health costs, lifestyle shocks, and inflation changes.

Your target retirement corpus should be in a strong range. For your needs of Rs 75,000 per month and for goals like daughter’s education and marriage, you should aim for a combined retirement readiness corpus in the higher bracket.

A safe range for your family would be a very large number crossing multiple crores. This large range gives you:

Income safety.

Inflation protection.

Peace during market cycles.

Comfort in long life.

Room for daughter’s future.

Strong backup for health.

You are already on the way due to your existing assets. You will reach close to this range with systematic building over the next 3 to 5 years.

» Why You Need This Larger Corpus

You will retire early. That means more years of living from your corpus. Your corpus must not fall early. It must grow even after retirement. It must give monthly income and long-term family protection.

This is only possible when the corpus is strong and well-structured. A weak corpus creates stress. A strong corpus creates freedom.

Also, your daughter’s future cost must be kept aside. This must be parked in a separate fund. This must not touch your retirement money.

A strong corpus makes these two worlds separate and safe.

» Your Existing Assets and Their Strength

You already have good diversification:

Bonds give safety.

Stocks give growth.

Mutual funds give managed growth.

FD gives stability.

PPF gives tax-free long-term savings.

This blend is already a good start. But you need to make the blend more structured for early retirement.

Your Rs 1.3 lakh monthly SIP is also strong. It builds your future fast. You should continue.

Your wife’s rental income is small but steady. This adds strength.

Your combined financial base can reach your retirement target if you refine your allocation now.

» Your Daughter’s Future Fund Need

You need Rs 75 lakh for your daughter’s education and marriage. You should keep this goal separate from your retirement goal.

Your current SIP and future allocations should create a dedicated fund for this goal. A long-term fund can grow well when managed actively.

Do not mix this fund with your retirement needs. Mixing leads to shortage in old age. Always keep this corpus ring-fenced.

» A Strong Asset Mix For Your Retirement Path

A balanced mix is needed. You need growth assets to beat inflation. You also need stable assets for income.

You must avoid index funds because they do not give flexibility. Index funds follow a fixed index. They cannot make active changes in different markets. They cannot move to better stocks when markets change. They force you to stay in weak sectors for long. They also do not help you in down cycles because they cannot protect you by shifting to safer options. This can hurt retirement planning.

Actively managed funds are better because:

They give active asset selection.

They give scope for better returns.

They give flexibility to change sectors.

They give downside management.

They give access to a skilled fund manager.

They support long-term planning more safely.

Direct plans also carry risk. Direct plans do not give guidance. They do not give behavioural support. They do not give market timing help. They do not give portfolio shaping. They leave all the judgement to you. One mistake can cost years of wealth.

Regular plans with guidance from a Certified Financial Planner help you shape decisions. They help you remain disciplined. They help you avoid panic. They help you decide allocation changes at the right time. This saves wealth in long-term.

» How Your Investment Journey Should Grow in the Next 3–5 Years

Continue your SIP.

Increase SIP when your income rises.

Shift part of your stock holding into planned long-term mutual funds to reduce concentration risk.

Build a defined daughter’s education fund.

Keep a part of your REC bond maturity amount for long-term.

Avoid locking too much into fixed deposits for long periods.

Build a safety fund for one year of expenses.

This will create a full structure.

» Your Rental Income Role

Your rental income of Rs 10,000 per month is small but steady. Over time it will rise. This income will support your monthly cash flow after retirement.

You can use this for utilities or health insurance premiums. This gives a cushion.

» Your Emergency Buffer

You should keep at least one year of essential cost in a safe place. This can be in a liquid account or short-term fund. This protects you in shocks.

Since you plan early retirement, a strong buffer is important. It gives peace even in low months.

» A Structured Retirement Approach

A complete retirement plan for you should include:

A clear monthly income plan after retirement.

A corpus that can grow and protect.

A rising income system that matches inflation.

A separate daughter’s future fund.

A health cover plan for your family.

A tax-efficient withdrawal plan.

A market cycle plan to protect you in tough times.

This holistic approach keeps your family strong for decades.

» What You Should Build by Retirement Year

Your aim should be to reach a strong multi-crore range in investments before retirement. You already hold a large amount. You will add more in the next 3 to 5 years through SIP, stock growth, bond maturity, and disciplined saving.

Once you reach your target range, you can start the shifting process:

Move a part to stable assets.

Keep a part in long-term growth assets.

Create a monthly income strategy.

Keep a reserve bucket.

Keep a child future bucket.

Keep a long-term growth bucket.

This structure protects you in all market conditions.

» Final Insights

Your financial journey is already strong. You have a good income. You have saved well. You have multiple asset types. You have a clear timeline. And you have clear goals. This foundation is solid.

In the next 3 to 5 years, your focus should be on growing your combined corpus to a strong multi-crore range, keeping a separate fund for your daughter, reducing risk in unplanned assets, and building a stable long-term structure.

With the present path and a disciplined structure, you can retire peacefully and support your family with confidence for many decades.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Question by Saket - Dec 07, 2025Hindi

Money

Hello my name is saket, I monthly salary is 43k and my saving is zero. My Rent is 15 k and 10 k i send to my parents. How can i save money and investments.

Ans: 1. Your Current Monthly Numbers

Salary: Rs 43,000

Rent: Rs 15,000

Support to parents: Rs 10,000

Left with: Rs 18,000 for food, travel, bills, and savings

You have very little room, but saving is still possible if done smartly.

2. First Step: Build a Small Emergency Buffer

You must build Rs 10,000 to Rs 20,000 emergency money.
This protects you from taking loans for small issues.

How to build it:

Save Rs 3,000 to Rs 5,000 every month in a simple bank savings account

Do this for the next few months

Don’t touch it unless truly needed

3. Create a Mini Budget (Very Simple One)

Try this split from the remaining Rs 18,000:

Daily living (food + transport): Rs 10,000 – 11,000

Personal expenses (phone, internet, basics): Rs 3,000 – 4,000

Savings + investments: Rs 3,000 – 5,000

If this feels difficult, reduce food/transport costs by small adjustments.

4. Where to Invest Once You Have Emergency Money

(For minors: This is general education. For actual investing, get guidance from a trusted adult or family member.)

After you build emergency money, start small monthly investing.

You can begin with:

Rs 1,000 to Rs 2,000 SIP in a simple, diversified equity fund

Increase the SIP whenever salary increases or expenses reduce

Avoid complicated products.
Keep it simple.
Focus on consistency.

5. Easy Practical Ways to Increase Saving

These small moves help a lot:

Avoid food delivery

Use public transport as much as possible

Reduce subscriptions you don’t use

Fix a daily expense limit

Keep a separate bank account only for savings

Even Rs 200 saved daily = Rs 6,000 monthly.

6. Increase Income Slowly

Try small income boosters:

Weekend tutoring

Freelancing

Part-time projects

Selling old gadgets

Learning new skills for future salary growth

Even Rs 3,000 extra income changes your savings life.

7. Build the Habit First

The amount doesn’t matter in the beginning.
The habit matters more.

Even saving Rs 500 every month is better than zero.
Once salary grows, you will already know how to save.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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