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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 18, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2023Hindi
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I am from Middle class family. Our parents, 2 brothers, my sister and Me.My Father is no more and my mom lives alone. She does not want to stay with any of us. We all live out of country and my mother lives in India. My mother is not dependent on us financially and she can manage on her own and does not expect money from any of us. She is getting old and we need to take care of her, but I feel I am only one who checks on her and arranges for any small things she needs. My sibling don't even talk about it, I feel they think if they talk about it then they have do something. Like every other old person my mother and me have a lot of differences on everything like managing finances, or renewing something or going to hospital etc and I become the bad person because of these matters. My siblings don't get involved they just call her once a while and talk for while and manage to stay in her good books. I know that it is my duty to take care of her but I feel not appreciated or rejected when she ignores all the things I do for her when others don't. She is also old school and favors boys over girls and reject me saying that I am from a different family and always guilt traps me saying that she educated me but i earn and spent on my husband family. She hates my in-laws, but they are nice people and my husband is very supportive. Since it is my mother I don't tell these issues to anyone even my husband and it is destroying my Peace.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing in your relationship with your mother. It can be challenging when there are differences in opinions and expectations, especially when it comes to caregiving and managing family dynamics. Here are a few suggestions that might help you navigate this situation:

Communication: It's important to have open and honest communication with your mother. Try to express your feelings calmly and respectfully, and listen to her perspective as well. Sharing your concerns and thoughts can help create a better understanding between both of you.

Seek support: While you may not want to burden your husband with these issues, it's still essential to have someone to talk to and seek support from. Consider confiding in a close friend or a counselor who can provide an objective viewpoint and offer guidance on how to cope with the emotional stress.

Boundaries: Establishing boundaries is crucial in any relationship. Make it clear to your mother what you can and cannot do, taking into account your own personal and family commitments. It's important to find a balance between caring for her and taking care of yourself and your own family.

Sibling involvement: If you feel overwhelmed and alone in taking care of your mother, you can try to involve your siblings more actively in the process. Have an open conversation with them, express your concerns, and see if they can contribute in any way, whether it's by providing emotional support or assisting with certain responsibilities.

Patience and empathy: Understand that your mother's behavior and expectations may be influenced by her upbringing, cultural beliefs, and personal experiences. Try to approach situations with empathy, even if it's challenging. Remember that she may be experiencing her own struggles and fears as she grows older.

Self-care: Taking care of your own well-being is essential. Ensure that you make time for yourself, engage in activities that bring you joy, and maintain a healthy work-life balance. By taking care of yourself, you'll be better equipped to handle the challenges that arise in your relationship with your mother.

Remember, it's normal to feel frustrated and emotionally drained in such situations. However, with patience, understanding, and effective communication, you may be able to improve your relationship with your mother and find a balance that works for both of you.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 16, 2022

Relationship
Hope you are doing well.I am kinda mentally disturbed and badly need your suggestion. I have been in love and married for 13 yrs. I have a son and a daughter. I'm a working woman.I'm being constantly ill-treated by my mother-in-law. I know such issues exist in every household. But here, it has been a never-ending issue for 13 years now. She is very insecure, when it comes to household chores, my kids and my husband and feels all these areas should be in her control.She feels she is to be given utmost attention and only her thoughts and feelings to be respected and are always right. She insults me, mocks me, and doesn't treat me like a part of the family, though I’m selfless and continue to care for my in-laws and other family members. She keeps hurting me with her words, gestures and behaviour.To her, I'm like a constant pester and she doesn't feel satisfied with any chores or work at home or family. I'm a big mess. She often states 'I’m her` target` and will continue to hurt me verbally and with gestures.My husband doesn't raise questions on his mom's insane behaviour, as she threatens to harm herself.This is a routine she carries out, whenever she wants to. I have zero support from my husband to change his mom and or understand my feelings. Neither should I voice out my views or feelings. I have to look out for her moods and actions and act accordingly, any time.I have no self-respect, no dignity here. It doesn't feel like this is my house or my family, except for my kids. My kids are growing up and I feel I will lose respect amongst them, when she constantly taunts me and insults me for no reason.I have no parents or siblings to share my feelings. I open up with my close friends for a temporary vent out, otherwise, it really doesn't serve any purpose.I feel like I have to live eternally with this mental abuse, as I'm unable to put up with her behaviour and harassment. Acting as if I'm fine every day is killing me.This type of behaviour makes me feel very low and my self-esteem is affected. I feel worthless and my whole life feels like a sheer curse.Please help me get out of this situation and make my mother-in-law mend her behaviour towards me.Awaiting your response.
Ans:

Dear SS,

A story in many patriarchal households!

What can you do to change her and your husband’s attitude on this? Nothing at all.

It’s like a stubborn gene that wants to hold on to age-old beliefs where the mother-in-law rules the home and calls the shots, the son blindly supports his mother’s tantrums.

What can you do when your children also are growing up in this environment?

Here’s where you can put your foot down.

Your children have to learn to respect their mother for who she is. So, stop playing the victim in your situation and take charge.

I am sure the children are at an age where their minds are impressionable and can be beautifully shaped to accept different people in the household.

Instead of spending time cursing your situation, spend the same time being with your children, bonding with them.

Talk and spend a lot of time going out, watching TV, cooking, reading, listening to music and more.

What will start to happen is that the children will learn to hold space for you when you are down and out. And do take care that while you are bonding with them, never talk ill about their father or their grandmother.

This activity isn’t to distance one from the other but to give you a new way of thinking in the existing circumstances.

Having said this, if your husband is someday ready to talk to you about this, by all means be assertive.

Till then, it’s not necessary to suffer. Either you can fight and get fingers pointed back at you or you can negotiate a situation wisely to maintain the peace at home. You always have that choice.

Whatever you choose, never sit in silence and do nothing. That’s what your children will learn; to suffer in silence. So, time to make some subtle and meaningful changes?

Best wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 07, 2023

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I am brought up in a middle class family where both my parents were working. I am the elder sister and I have a younger brother. Since childhood i feel that my mother has given more time and efforts towards my brother. When he asks something he gets it and when I ask I'm told that it's not required. My mother pretends that she treats both of us equal but i can feel the difference. I'm currently married with a 4 year old kid. My husband is very loving and we have a happy family. My issue now begins when my mother comes to stay/visit us. She begins pointing faults and imposing decisions on us. She does that same with my husband and he doesn't like it either. My mother wants to prove herself right even if she is wrong and will never accept her faults. She is interfering with my child's upbringing too. She will never ever behave like that with my brother. I won't deny the fact that she comes to help when I need since I have no inlaws but just because she knows that we need her she will try to dominate over us. One example is that when my child was 10 months i got a potty seat and she never let me put my kid on it saying that kid is too young and because of this my kid never sat in toilet till he turned 4 years. Another is that she used to feed my son only biscuits all the time even when I used to oppose. Also, once she fed my son ice cream when he was 1 year old and my child developed fever next day and she put blame on me saying I took him our for walk in the evening hence my child got fever. When I used silicon brush to brush my kids teeth she stopped me saying there's no need to brush before 1 month when i objected and continued doing it she blamed .e whenever my kid cried saying that his gums are hurting because you brushed his teeth. Many more such incidents where she puts blame on me and tries to prove me wrong She will almost daily try n tell me that my husband is blaming her for groceries getting over/ equipment not working etc which I know my husband does not (he is very kind hearted ) and she just keeps all this misunderstanding in her head. Many times I've clarified by talking to both of them together. Now, my husband is going out of town and again my mother will be coming. I'm fed-up of these fights n arguments but when in emergency i have to rely on her but she takes full advantage of the fact that I need her. I can't take this anymore and its affecting my mental health
Ans: Dear Leena,
I hear you!
But do allow me to give you a perspective. Relationships are never easy to maintain and manage as they involve emotions and layers through it all. Mothers can at times see their daughters as people who they need to groom for life. It's possible that your mother is doing the same thing. She has made it her sole responsibility to continue to groom you so that you earn a good name in your husband's household. This isn't me saying it, it's the way age-old beliefs could be seeping through your mother.
Now, it has become an interference and it must be conveyed to her. At first, it will hurt her and she might react to it by reminding you of all the sacrifices that she has made in order to raise you; but mind you, be steady in what you convey.
She will eventually understand that her daughter does not need to be monitored and taught to lead her life, but just needs a support system around her. Of course, there might be a withdrawal when she has to help you, but be firm on how you would like be treated from now on.
Polite yet firm is something that works well to avoid conflicts within relationships; so use that well.
Also, the differentiation between you and your brother might just be that she gives you tough love. Tough love is shown by a parent/authority figure to another in order to toughen the other person up and in severe cases it may result in submissiveness. In your case, it is likely that she has a certain belief on how boys and girls must be raised. It will change only when she changes her belief. For now, focus on creating a better environment at home by taking charge and being polite and firm with your mother.
And do know, at the end of the day, she is a mother....love sets everything right.
All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 09, 2023

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Hi Anu...I dont want to be named but want to share my issues here with you to guidance. Im married and live with my wife and 2 year old son in Noida and my parents lives in some village in UP approx 500 Kms afar. My initial upbriging was done by my Grandparants at separate place till age of 10 so never got any chance to get along with my poarants very well as lived with them for only 4 years then shifted Noida. now the issue issus is my sister who is 5-6 years younger than me has been living with paranets since birth and became very arrogant and irresponsible in life as my parants never tried to correct her instead they always push me to get along citing Im older..she never even accepted my wife and even tried to conspire against my baby boy by filing my mothers mind for years. my parents married her 4 years ago but she dont spend even a month continuously at her inlawa and dont get along with them...she want to sta with my paranets as nobody bothers her in what she wants to do... when anybody try to make her realise that she is wrong she start threating them by saying that she will harm herself...actually she never does. My parents are getting older and dont want to see them suffer mentally and financially anymore but them cant come with me as they have take care of my Great Grandparents..she is too proud to say sorry to me for things she has done but my parents emotionally blackmailing to to talk to her....what should I do...
Ans: Dear R,
Obviously your parents have no clue that their over indulgence in your sister and her life is causing her misery. Their relationship is unhealthy and they are unaware of it...things are sure to go downhill until one of them pulls back...in this case, the ideal thing would be for your parents to pull back and cut financial and emotional support till she starts behaving like an adult and become accountable for herself and her life.
Some people just don't want to grow up...and that is because they have parents or parent figures who fill in their every need and fulfil their every want.
This becomes a habit and when they don't get what they want, they will threaten just like your sister does...she basically likes playing the 'child' and hence your parents are never out of their responsibility of parenting...make them aware that it is enough and a tough stance will set her right and help her build her life.
A grown up must be one and just keep the child alive in them...but here your sister just wants to be the child and keep happily playing thar role as the parents are allowing it...kindly intervene and help your parents understand and do the right thing for their daughter...

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |183 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2024Hindi
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Hi I am 64 years old. Still workig in a Private company. My mother is 85 years old and she is with me since my father's death in 1985. I have lost my brother in an accident in 1985. I have three sisters all are living in my city only. My mother is almost bedridden. My wife, 62 years old is a heart patient and recently she has fallen and her knee got fractured. My wife and my mother never liked each other and always quarrel. My mother , being very week and helpless, always scolds my wife. We have made an arrangement with a catering guy who takes care of my mother's lunch. But dinner i have to prepare everyday which i have been doing for the last 20 years. My three sisters often come to visit my mother and give her fruits etc etc to please her. The problem is they agree to keep my mother in their homes once in while for two or three days but i have to beg them always when i have to go for any functions or to visit places , temples. But they never come forward to support me even if i am sick or if i have to attend any marriages, functions. This gives a scope for my wife to quarrel with me and many times we have cancelled our tickets just to be at home to look after my mother. Please tell me what to do do. I am also becoming old and want to take my wife with me to attend functions and to show her the places, as a husband. And my wife always quarrels with me that if at this age when we are able to walk and capable of going to places, when can we go ? I am not able to convince my three sister(elder one is already bedridden so i can not ask her )_ nor i am in a position to do justice to my wife's pleas. Please suggest me.
Ans: Hello Sir,
It's clear that you're facing a challenging situation, juggling responsibilities between your elderly mother, your wife, and your own desire for some personal time. Balancing these caregiving responsibilities while maintaining a healthy relationship with your wife can be emotionally and physically exhausting. It's essential to find a balance that works for everyone involved, including yourself. Seeking support from your extended family, exploring professional caregiving options, and prioritizing open communication can contribute to finding a more sustainable and harmonious caregiving arrangement. Have an open and honest conversation with your sisters about your situation, expressing your need for support. Emphasize the strain it's putting on your relationship with your wife and the importance of having some time for yourselves. Consider organizing a family meeting where you can discuss the caregiving responsibilities and come up with a plan that works for everyone. This can help distribute the load more evenly and address any concerns or misunderstandings Explore the option of hiring a professional caregiver or nurse to provide assistance to your mother. This could ease the burden on you and provide a more structured care plan for your mother's needsTake care of your own health and well-being. Work with your sisters to establish a schedule for them to take turns caring for your mother. This way, you can plan your personal time in advance and ensure that your wife's concerns are addressed. Ensure you are not neglecting your physical and mental health in the midst of caregiving responsibilities.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

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I want to invest Rs. 1 lac lumpsum yearly in mutual funds for my children for the next 15 years. What kind of funds will be apt? (I will increase the lumpsum amount by 10% yearly).
Ans: Given your goal of investing a lump sum of Rs. 1 lakh annually for your children's future over the next 15 years, with a planned 10% increase in the investment amount each year, let's devise an investment strategy tailored to your objectives.
Considering the long investment horizon and the goal of wealth accumulation for your children, a diversified portfolio of mutual funds with a focus on growth potential and risk management would be appropriate. Here's a suggested allocation:
1. Equity Funds: Allocate a significant portion of your investment towards equity funds to capitalize on the potential for higher returns over the long term. Opt for a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds to diversify across market segments and mitigate risk. These funds offer exposure to quality stocks with strong growth prospects and can help in wealth creation over time.
2. Debt Funds: Incorporate debt funds into your portfolio to provide stability and reduce overall volatility. Debt funds invest in fixed-income securities such as government bonds, corporate bonds, and money market instruments. They offer steady income streams and can act as a buffer during periods of market turbulence. Consider allocating a portion of your investment to debt funds to balance risk and optimize returns.
3. Balanced Funds: Balanced funds, also known as hybrid funds, combine equity and debt instruments in a single portfolio. These funds offer a balanced approach to investing, providing growth potential from equity exposure while offering downside protection through debt allocation. Including balanced funds in your portfolio can help in achieving stable returns while managing risk effectively.
4. Children's Funds: Some mutual funds are specifically designed for children's education or future needs. These funds typically have longer investment horizons and may offer unique features such as lock-in periods or dedicated investment strategies tailored to children's goals. Exploring children's funds can provide a focused approach to investing for your children's future needs.
Regularly review your investment portfolio and adjust your allocations as needed to stay aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Additionally, consider seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner to customize your investment strategy based on your specific circumstances and objectives.
Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2024Hindi
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I have about 40 lakhs in equity MF, 40 lakhs in pf. Currently making 1 lakh SIP per month. In hand salary is 3.25 lakh/month. I plan to purchase a house worth 1.5 Cr. I'll soon get a lump sum amount of 60 lakhs. Should I use that to pay larger upfront for the house or invest it to pay future payment from returns? I am 37 yrs old male. Monthly expense is about 1 lakh inclusive of rent.
Ans: Here's a breakdown of your situation to help you decide whether to use the lump sum for a larger down payment or invest for future EMIs:

Factors to Consider:

Down Payment Impact: A larger down payment reduces your loan amount, leading to lower interest payments overall. This can save you a significant amount of money in the long run.

Investment Potential: Investing the lump sum could potentially generate returns that help cover future EMIs. However, market performance is not guaranteed.

Emergency Fund: Ensure you have a sufficient emergency fund after using the lump sum (ideally 3-6 months of living expenses).

Risk Tolerance: Investing the lump sum involves market risks. Consider your comfort level with potential fluctuations.

Here are two approaches to consider:

Option 1: Larger Down Payment:

Use a significant portion of the lump sum (say 40-50 lakhs) for a larger down payment. This can bring down your loan amount substantially, reducing your overall interest burden.
Invest the remaining amount (20-30 lakhs) to potentially generate additional income or create a buffer for future expenses.
Option 2: Invest and Pay EMIs:

Invest the entire lump sum (60 lakhs) in a diversified portfolio to potentially generate returns that can cover future EMIs.
This frees up your monthly income for other expenses or investments. However, market performance can impact returns.
Here are some additional thoughts:

Interest Rates: Compare current home loan interest rates with the potential returns you might expect from your investments.
Debt Management: Consider your overall debt situation. A larger down payment can improve your debt-to-income ratio, potentially making you eligible for better loan terms.
Professional Advice: Consulting a financial advisor can help you create a personalized plan considering your risk tolerance, financial goals, and investment horizon.
Here's a quick summary of your financial situation:

Strong Savings: With Rs. 40 lakh in MFs, Rs. 40 lakh in PF, and a Rs. 1 lakh monthly SIP, you have a solid savings foundation.
High Income: Your in-hand salary of Rs. 3.25 lakh per month provides significant financial flexibility.
House Purchase: Aiming for a Rs. 1.5 crore house indicates a long-term investment plan.

Ultimately, the decision should align with your risk tolerance, financial goals, and overall financial plan. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your specific circumstances, helping you make informed decisions to achieve your objectives.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

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Hi, I am 36 years old, married & have 1 child (3 year old). Me & wife have combined income from salary of 3.75 lakh post taxes. We are investing in following funds & have investment horizon of more than 15 years. Aditya BSL Pure Value - 2k DSP Value Fund - 4k HDFC Small Cap - 2K Kotak business cycle - 5k Kotak Emerging Equity fund - 2K Motilal Oswal large and Midcap - 10k Bandhan Core Equity - 2k Baroda BNP India Consumption - 3k Franklin India Prima - 4k HDFC Mid Cap Opportunity - 2k HSBC Small Cap - 5k Nippon India Flexi Cap - 7.5 SBI small cap - 4k White Oak capital Large and Mid - 7.5k ICICI prudential India opportunity -10k NPS - 15K Equity Market - 25K SGB - 15K LIC -10K. I'm looking for the same investment till next 15 years. Definitely will increase the MF amount every year. I'm looking for at least 20+ Cr corpus at the age of 55. Please guide me with the existing investment. Total Liability like Home Loan and Top up loan EMI is 42K. I want to make same EMI for Loan and future surplus amount to be invest in equity market with low risk as I'm moving towards early 40s.
Ans: Based on your investment portfolio and financial goals, let's evaluate your current strategy. You've made a commendable effort in diversifying your investments across various mutual funds and other instruments, aiming for a substantial corpus in the next 15 years. Your commitment to increasing your mutual fund investments annually is a wise move, considering the potential for wealth accumulation over time.

However, let's delve into a few considerations. While your investment horizon is long-term, it's prudent to periodically review your portfolio's performance and adjust it according to changing market conditions and your evolving financial situation. With increasing age and responsibilities, it's natural to prioritize stability and lower risk in your investments.

You've mentioned a desire to maintain your current loan EMIs while directing surplus funds towards equity markets with lower risk. This approach aligns with a conservative yet growth-oriented investment strategy, balancing the need for stability with wealth creation potential. As you move towards your early 40s, this cautious approach can provide a cushion against market volatility while still capturing growth opportunities.

While your current portfolio includes a diverse mix of actively managed mutual funds, it's important to acknowledge the disadvantages of solely relying on actively managed funds. These can include higher expense ratios and the possibility of underperformance compared to benchmark indices. However, the benefits of active management, such as the potential for outperformance and flexibility in portfolio construction, justify their inclusion in your investment strategy.

In conclusion, your commitment to long-term wealth creation is admirable. By maintaining a disciplined approach to investing, periodically reviewing your portfolio, and balancing risk and growth opportunities, you're on track to achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

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Hi sir, greetings. Am 46 years old and have recently got a lumpsum amount of around 15 lakhs and want to invest them with a time horizon of around 15+ years. Please suggest me a portfolio for the same. In case if you suggest me to invest the amount in a split manner in the next 1-2 year duration, is it ok to leave the amount in the Savings account (have an option to get 7% per annum in one of the private sector banks) or any other suggestion in this regard please ?
Ans: Congratulations on receiving a lump sum of 15 lakhs! It's an opportunity to strengthen your financial position and work towards your long-term goals.

Considering your time horizon of 15+ years, you have the advantage of investing for the long term, allowing your investments to potentially grow significantly over time.

As a Certified Financial Planner, I would recommend a diversified portfolio that balances growth potential with risk management. This could include a mix of equity, debt, and other asset classes to spread risk and capture growth opportunities.

Leaving the entire amount in a savings account, even with a 7% interest rate, may not be the most prudent choice for long-term wealth accumulation. While it provides safety and liquidity, the returns may not outpace inflation, resulting in a loss of purchasing power over time.

Instead, consider investing the lump sum gradually over the next 1-2 years to benefit from cost averaging and reduce the impact of market volatility. You could divide the amount into smaller portions and invest them systematically at regular intervals.

For the portion not immediately invested, a high-yield savings account or a short-term debt fund could be considered to earn a better return than a traditional savings account while maintaining liquidity.

Remember, investing involves risk, and it's crucial to align your investment strategy with your risk tolerance and financial goals. Regular reviews with your Certified Financial Planner can help ensure your portfolio remains on track to meet your objectives.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

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Hi this is Barath(37 yrs age-high risk appetite investor),My portfolio worth is around 4cr ,this includes 2.5cr in ppfs flexi+1.5cr in motilal micro 250 index. I have requirement for son's education after 7yrs from now(amount req 1cr) and daughter education 12 yrs from now (around2 cr).I wish to retire at my age of 45 yrs.I am also doing an sip of 5 lacks a month in both above funs 3 lacks and 2 lacks respectively.I wish to have retirement withdrawal of 2.5lacks monthly via SWP with an increase of 8%in withdrawal rate.Pls suggest how am I placed
Ans: Hello Barath,

You've crafted a robust portfolio, and your proactive approach to investing is commendable. With a high-risk appetite and a sizable investment worth 4 crores, you're laying a strong foundation for your financial future.

Your investment allocation, with 2.5 crores in PPFS Flexi and 1.5 crores in Motilal Micro 250 Index, reflects a balanced strategy. However, it's important to regularly review and adjust your portfolio to align with your evolving goals and risk tolerance.

Your foresight regarding your children's education expenses, with a requirement of 1 crore in 7 years for your son and 2 crores in 12 years for your daughter, demonstrates prudent planning. Your SIP of 5 lakhs per month split between the two funds ensures disciplined saving and investment.

Planning for early retirement at 45 is ambitious yet achievable with careful financial planning. Your target retirement withdrawal of 2.5 lakhs monthly via SWP, with an annual increase of 8%, indicates a thoughtful approach to sustaining your lifestyle post-retirement.

While index funds have gained popularity for their low fees and passive management, it's essential to consider the limitations they pose, such as lack of flexibility and potential underperformance during market downturns. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, offer the expertise of fund managers to navigate market fluctuations and capitalize on opportunities, potentially yielding higher returns over the long term.

Opting for regular funds investing through an MFD with CFP credential provides the added benefit of personalized advice and guidance tailored to your financial goals and risk profile, ensuring optimal portfolio management and decision-making.

Overall, your proactive stance towards financial planning and investment management sets a solid precedent for securing your financial future and achieving your retirement goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

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Hello Dev, I am 32 years old and would like to start SIP for 5k per month to create retirement corpus of 1 crore. Also would like to generate 30 lacs in another 10 years for closing housing loan. Already have three MF SIP as below. Quant active fund 1000 Quant ELSS tax saver fund 500 ICICI prudential corporate bond fund 150 Kindly suggest in which MF should I invest further and also how much should I increase the SIP amount to achieve the above goals. Thank you.
Ans: It's great to see your proactive approach towards planning for your financial future. Your dedication to investing is commendable.
Starting an SIP with 5k per month is a wise decision to create a retirement corpus of 1 crore. Additionally, generating 30 lakhs in 10 years to close your housing loan is a smart goal.
Considering your existing SIPs in Quant Active Fund, Quant ELSS Tax Saver Fund, and ICICI Prudential Corporate Bond Fund, you have a good foundation. However, to diversify your portfolio and align it with your goals, you may want to consider the following suggestions:
1. Equity-oriented funds with higher growth potential can help you achieve your long-term goals. Look into diversified equity funds or multi-cap funds for exposure to various segments of the market.
2. Since your investment horizon is long-term, you can afford to take slightly higher risks for potentially higher returns. Adding more equity-oriented funds can help you achieve this.
3. To generate the required amount for your housing loan closure in 10 years, you may need to increase your SIP amounts gradually. Consider reviewing your financial situation periodically and increasing your SIP contributions accordingly.
4. As a Certified Financial Planner, I recommend staying disciplined with your investments and adhering to your financial plan. Regularly review your portfolio's performance and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards your goals.
By diversifying your portfolio and gradually increasing your SIP amounts, you can work towards achieving your financial objectives effectively.
Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 01, 2024Hindi
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Hello Sir I am 34yr old. Started investing from July 2023 1.6lacs monthly in 8 funds (20k each) I want to create a portfolio of 50crore in 20yrs My funds include 2 small cap funds, 3 mid cap, 1 flexi cap and 2 large n mid cap funds How can I achieve my target. I am looking for 18-20% xirr on my investment
Ans: Congratulations on taking proactive steps towards securing your financial future. Your commitment to investing is commendable.

Creating a portfolio with the goal of reaching 50 crores in 20 years requires careful planning and strategy.

With a monthly investment of 1.6 lakhs distributed across various funds, you've already laid a solid foundation. However, achieving an XIRR of 18-20% may require a slightly more aggressive approach.

Given your portfolio composition of small-cap, mid-cap, flexi-cap, and large and mid-cap funds, you seem to have a diversified mix with exposure to different segments of the market.

To increase the potential for higher returns, you might consider slightly increasing your allocation to small and mid-cap funds, given their historically higher growth potential over the long term.

As a Certified Financial Planner, I advise against relying solely on direct funds. Opting for regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner can provide you with valuable insights and personalized guidance, ensuring your investments are aligned with your goals.

While index funds have their advantages, such as lower expense ratios, they lack the potential for outperformance that actively managed funds offer, especially in dynamic market conditions.

Regularly reviewing your portfolio's performance and making adjustments as needed is crucial to staying on track towards your goal. Additionally, maintaining a long-term perspective and avoiding reactionary decisions during market fluctuations is key.

Keep up the disciplined approach to investing, and with time and patience, you can certainly achieve your target of 50 crores.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 28, 2024Hindi
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Hi Dev, I am 29 years old and have a monthly income of 20K. I am already investing in MF and want to achieve a corpus fund of 5 crores by the age of 50 for my retirement. Please advise on how to invest
Ans: I understand your aspirations for a secure retirement and commend you for your proactive approach to financial planning. It's wonderful to see your commitment to securing a comfortable future for yourself.

With a monthly income of 20K, you're off to a good start. To achieve a corpus fund of 5 crores by the age of 50, it's essential to strategize your investments wisely.

Diversification is key to mitigating risks and maximizing returns. While you're already investing in mutual funds, it's prudent to explore other avenues like equities, debt instruments, and perhaps even alternative investments.

Considering your age and risk appetite, a balanced portfolio with a mix of equity and debt instruments would be suitable. Equity investments offer the potential for higher returns over the long term, while debt instruments provide stability and steady income.

As a Certified Financial Planner, I recommend actively managed funds over index funds. Actively managed funds have the advantage of professional fund managers who actively select investments, aiming to outperform the market.

Avoiding direct funds and opting for regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner can provide you with personalized guidance and ongoing support, ensuring your investments align with your financial goals.

Remember to review and adjust your portfolio periodically to accommodate changes in your life circumstances and market conditions. And most importantly, stay disciplined and patient, as wealth accumulation is a gradual process.

Keep up the excellent work, and you'll be well on your way to achieving your retirement goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

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Hello Sir, I'm 35 years old and my monthly income is 30000. I'm married. My monthly expenses is around 23-26000. I want to make atleast 50lakhs by the time I reach 55. Kindly suggest which mutual fund I should go for?
Ans: It's commendable that you're planning for your financial future. Achieving a corpus of 50 lakhs by the time you reach 55 is a realistic goal with proper planning and disciplined investing. Given your income and expenses, investing in mutual funds can be an effective way to grow your wealth over the long term. Here's a suggested approach:
1. Start with SIPs: Since you have a monthly surplus after expenses, consider starting Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) in mutual funds. SIPs allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly, enabling you to benefit from rupee cost averaging and the power of compounding.
2. Choose Equity Mutual Funds: Given your long-term investment horizon of 20 years, you can afford to invest predominantly in equity mutual funds, which have the potential to deliver higher returns over the long term compared to debt funds.
3. Diversify Your Portfolio: Opt for a diversified portfolio of equity mutual funds across different categories, such as large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds. Diversification helps spread risk and optimize returns. Choose funds with a proven track record of consistent performance and experienced fund managers.
4. Consider ELSS Funds: Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) offer the dual benefit of potential returns and tax savings under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act. Since you're aiming for long-term wealth creation, ELSS funds can be an excellent option to consider.
5. Regular Review: Monitor the performance of your mutual fund investments regularly and review your portfolio at least once a year. Make adjustments as needed based on changes in market conditions, fund performance, and your financial goals.
6. Seek Professional Advice: Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner who can provide personalized guidance tailored to your specific financial situation and goals. They can help you create a customized investment plan and navigate the mutual fund landscape effectively.
Remember, investing requires patience, discipline, and a long-term perspective. Stay focused on your goal of building a corpus of 50 lakhs by the time you reach 55, and with consistent investing and prudent decision-making, you can work towards achieving financial security and independence.
Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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