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Interfaith Relationship Dilemma: Should I Stay or Go?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |555 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 12, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

My boyfriend is of a complete different religion and caste as mine. We met at work. In my past i have had only one relationship in which i got cheated on....so was skeptical on dating again. Now its been 8 months in this new relationship where he convinced me to give a try. He's a gem of a person but now he is telling melive in the present i dont know about the future. I love you n want to date you but idk about the future if my family wants me with someone i may have to end this. What do i do i am so attached for he has given me all the love n care. Please help

Ans: Right now, you need to be honest with yourself about what you want. If you’re looking for a committed future and he’s unsure, it’s essential to recognize that this uncertainty may continue to cause you pain. If you choose to stay, prepare yourself for the possibility that his family might influence his decision, and it could end in heartbreak. On the other hand, if you feel that the love and care he’s giving you right now are worth the risk, then decide to cherish the present moment while being mentally prepared for whatever may come.

Have an open and heartfelt conversation with him. Let him know how his uncertainty makes you feel, without pressuring him for a commitment. This isn’t about forcing him to decide but about understanding each other’s emotional needs and boundaries. If he truly values the relationship, this conversation might give him a deeper perspective on how his indecision affects you.

It’s important to protect your emotional well-being. If his stance remains the same and you find yourself growing more anxious and hurt by the uncertainty, then you might have to consider whether staying is good for your mental and emotional health. Sometimes letting go, even when it hurts, is the most loving thing you can do for yourself.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |555 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ma'am, I have been in a relationship for almost a decade now i.e. since graduation and now me and my bf are doing good in our respective jobs. Since we come from different religions, we have been trying to convince our family very much for last two years to let us happen and get married and in these scenarios during covid I lost my father too now that it's just me and my mom and my elder sister due to societal pressure also they were not agreeing for us but then I could feel now that his family was some how just dragging us showing fake acceptance for me but still being very orthodox but in this process me and my bf got committed to each other very seriously in terms of physical ways but now his family is completely denying the fact that they don't us to happen and are literally forcing his son to marry in their caste. On this thing, the guy is trying to make me understand with false accusations that it's not his family butine which doesn't want us to proceed since my family wanted a mutual ways of marriage and not just his culture thing or else court marriage was the last opt but my guy is saying no I can never go against my family this and that you better understand and I don't know I'm feeling very cheated that now at this stage after being this close where he should have been standing strong with me he's pushing me to set back I don't know iam so clueless I got no energy to get back to being productive in my life or something whereas this acts of his and his family's forcible nature is somehow triggering me to opt for legal methods....I need guidance it's all dark for me and feeling too used.
Ans: Hello Dear,
I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your relationship. It's a complex and emotionally charged situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling hurt and confused It's okay to take some time for self-reflection and self-care. Understand and acknowledge your emotions before making any decisions. Give yourself the space to process the situation and its impact on your well-being. Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings. Share your concerns, fears, and expectations. Encourage him to express his feelings and concerns as well. Effective communication is crucial at this stage. Reflect on your priorities and values in a relationship. Consider whether the current situation aligns with what you envision for your future. Be honest with yourself about what you need and deserve in a partnership. If you're contemplating legal steps, it's advisable to seek legal advice to understand the implications and options available to you. Consult with a lawyer who can provide guidance based on your specific situation and laws. While it's crucial to address the relationship concerns, also focus on your personal growth and well-being. Pursue activities that bring you joy, engage in self-improvement, and consider your long-term goals. Assess whether the relationship is healthy and supportive. Consider whether both partners are willing to work through challenges and make compromises for the well-being of the relationship. Establish clear boundaries for yourself. Determine what you are willing to accept and what you cannot tolerate in the relationship. It's crucial to prioritize your own well-being. If both families are open to it, consider seeking the help of a mediator or counselor who can facilitate discussions and help find common ground. Mediation can be a constructive way to address conflicts and find solutions.
Ultimately, prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If the relationship is causing you significant distress, it's important to evaluate whether it's a healthy and fulfilling partnership for you. it's okay to seek professional help or legal advice if needed. Making decisions about your future can be challenging, but it's crucial to prioritize your own happiness and mental health. If you find it difficult to navigate these issues on your own, seeking guidance from professionals or supportive friends can make a significant difference.

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a Hindu girl and in a relationship with a muslim guy. Our relationship was going great but suddenly my boyfriend's family is forcing him to marry in a arranged marriage. I have told him to tell about us to his family and he is trying to but hasn't said yet. But due to his family pressure and my constant saying of marriage he gets irritated a lot. Now I'm feeling a little change in his behaviour also like he just try to skip discussion about future and marriage, also when I call him he is not talking nicely with me. I'm getting very emotional and hurt due to his behaviour. Also he has said that he will try his best to convince his family but now I'm not sure if he will take my stand or not. What to do now?
Ans: He sounds like a coward who will do as his family says. And I don’t think he intends to stick with you if they say no. Heck, I don’t think he plans on saying anything at all! If he loved you enough and had the gumption, he’d have taken a stand by now. I say drop him and move on. See what happens when you leave him; if he really does love you and want to be with you, he’ll take action. But unfortunately, from everything you’ve said here it sounds more like he’ll be relieved and go on to marry under an arrangement. If he does…don’t ever entertain any calls from him ever again. I’ve often heard of fools like him — no guts to marry the girlfriend, miserable in the arranged marriage six months to a year in, then re-establish contact with former girlfriend and have an affair, but no guts to end the marriage. In this whole scenario, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out who will be at the losing end — you! DROP HIM!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1549 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

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hi maam im in love with a guy who i met in hyd im 24 years nd he is 28 we both r in love with eachother and wanna marry eachother but the prblm is that i come from a christian family and he comes from a hindu family my mom is not ready to accept him just because he is a hindu and my family r forcing me to get married to a christian guy itself they r mentally forcing me everyday to leave him just because he is a hindu nd our caste is different my family seperated me from him and forcing me to get married to a guy of their choice and in my family there r 16 members who have had love marriages i took help of my relative who also had a love marriage to convince my parents and help us to get married but she is the one who add more fake rumors and more fuel about him that he is doing timepass even if they talk to him in calls they say that he is not lifting our calls at all i have all the recordings but still they r lying to me nd my mom saying that he is not ready to talk about her it became difficult for me to convince them my mom listen to my relatives as they say and so they do i dont have anyone to support me to get married to my bf plz help i wanna marry him only and i see future with him he is the only one who make me laugh play with me like how a dad plays with his daughter i havent got the love from my parents when im getting the love from him they seperated me from him and forcefully bought me to my native place nd not letting me meet or see him im depressed asking my parents to meet him but they r like no we dont like him my parents r not ready to understand and they r saying he is with u only for ur money he also told my relatives that i dont want money but still they r keeping on adding fuel and mentally harrasing me to get married to someone else they r forcefully trying to get me married to someone else i wanna marry him only what should i do plz help i love him so does he
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
What caught my eye was the fact that you seem to have found the love that parents give their children with this person. This is not healthy as you are searching for what you lack in someone else. Work on this...and if this is the reason that you actually are in love with this person, you really need to work it.
Now when it comes to your parents' acceptance, your partner has to put in efforts to win them over and on your part rather than playing this emotionally with them, make your parents see what you see in your partner in terms of traits, qualities etc...And the less you involve family members into this circus, the better. At times, people come to have their share of fun by making things worse...So, be wise about who you involve.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 15, 2025Hindi
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Hello sir, I am 50 age and investing in the below funds by sip mode: Nippon india large cap - 2000 pm Nippon india multi cap - 2000 pm Nippon india small cap - 2000 pm ICICI prudential flexi cap - 2000 pm MO midcap fund - 2000 pm Mahindra ML large & midcap - 2000 pm Uti nifty 50 index - 1500 pm ICICI Pru nifty next 50 index - 1500 pm Nippon IT index - 1500 pm ICICI bse sensex index - 1500 pm ICICI Pru multi asset allocation - 5000 pm DSP multi asset allocation - 1000 pm SBI retirement aggressive - 1000 pm HDFC balanced advantage - 2500 pm Can I continue the above for the next 10 years OR is there a need for any changes to be made. My current MF investment stands at 20 L Looking forward to you advise please.
Ans: You are investing in a diverse set of funds across multiple categories. It is important to check if your portfolio is well-balanced, tax-efficient, and aligned with your risk appetite.

Fund Overlap and Diversification
You have too many funds in the same category.

Multiple large-cap, multi-cap, and index funds create unnecessary duplication.

A smaller, well-chosen portfolio will improve returns and reduce complexity.

Index Funds in Your Portfolio
You are investing in four index funds.

Index funds lack downside protection in market crashes.

Actively managed funds have better potential to beat the market.

Consider reducing index fund exposure to improve returns.

Sector and Thematic Funds
You have a technology sector fund.

Sector funds can be high-risk, as they depend on one industry’s performance.

A diversified portfolio is better than relying on a single sector.

If held, sector funds should be less than 10% of the total portfolio.

Multi-Asset and Hybrid Funds
Multi-asset funds help in balancing risk with exposure to equity, debt, and gold.

You have three multi-asset funds, which may be too many.

It is better to consolidate and hold only one or two of the best-performing funds.

Retirement Fund and Balanced Advantage Fund
SBI Retirement Aggressive Fund is designed for long-term wealth creation.

HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund helps in managing market volatility.

These funds are suitable for investors above 50, as they lower risk.

Recommended Changes
Reduce fund duplication by keeping only one multi-asset fund.

Exit some index funds and switch to actively managed funds.

Limit sector funds to a small portion of your portfolio.

Continue investing in flexi-cap and balanced advantage funds for long-term stability.

Final Insights
Your portfolio has good diversification but can be simplified.

Reducing overlapping funds will improve returns and ease tracking.

Shifting from index funds to actively managed funds may provide better growth.

Holding for 10 years is a good strategy, but regular rebalancing is needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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