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Anu Krishna  |1281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 24, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Rajat Question by Rajat on May 23, 2023Hindi
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Dear Aruna, Just to brief we live in joint family and I lost my brother (suicidal) 4 months back he had few bad habits including steal the things. He left behind his wife and 2 sons ( 10 years and 6 years). Now my brother’s wife found herself incapable to take care of my nephews who is on wrong track, he stole lot of money and use it for his wish list .I and other family members sits with him no. Of times to make him understand that it’s bad habit and should stop this but still he is consistently stealing money from every corner of house and even some time kinds from home to sell outside. Due to my brother suicidal case we can not even think to force him above a limit..which we have already tried. Kindly suggest appropriate way to Handel him.

Ans: Dear Rajat,
I am truly sorry for your loss and may your family heal through this.
There is a reason why your nephew chooses to steal...Does he miss his father and doesn't know how to say it and is asking for attention by stealing? One would never know...

Right now, he is also in grief like the rest of you...but this behaviour cannot go unnoticed.
A lot of love and care for him to bounce back from this loss may help him get back on his feet.
But, if the stealing habit does not stop, kindly visit a child psychologist who might suggest simple behavioural therapies that can eliminate this from the source. This requires an in-person intervention...

All the best and kindly do not delay the further course of action!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |392 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 01, 2024

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we had joint family almost 10 years back, we are two brothers ,mother ,father and 2 children to both brothers, I am elder brother, Problem started almost 5 years , My brother lost his temper and started heated argument and violence in family although he is introvert and hold negative thought since long back ,all family members tried to convince him to keep him positive but issue increased day by day reached to a level when father decided my family to protect and advise us to move out of joint family. afterwards also situation remains the same their and ultimately my parents also moved out of the house. We never had any communication around 2 years , but afterwards father had some critical health issue related to kidney and we informed them, Communication started with them again but father expired and again we have seen their violent face during rituals. We understand he having serious psychiatric issue but non of their family like his wife , Son is cooperating us for medication without his consensus as my brother never thought that he having any issue. I am very much worried that some day something wrong can happen as he is keeping very pity issues in mind and ready to fight always. He relation and neighbor's also he did the same and now no one is in talking terms with him.Please suggest how to handle ,is their any agency who can help us in sorting this issue. dont want to go in legal.
Ans: Hello Manish,
mental health issues can be complex, and professional guidance is crucial. Consult with mental health professionals to create a plan tailored to your family's specific situation. It's important to prioritize the safety and well-being of your family. If your brother's behavior becomes threatening or harmful, it may be necessary to maintain physical and emotional distance while encouraging him to seek help. Look for support groups or organizations that specialize in helping families dealing with mental health issues. They can provide guidance, resources, and a network of people who have faced similar challenges. Consider arranging a family intervention, facilitated by a mental health professional, where you can express your concerns about your brother's behavior and encourage him to seek help. It's important to approach this with empathy and understanding. while you mentioned that you don't want to go the legal route, in extreme cases, you may need to consider legal options like obtaining a court order for involuntary psychiatric evaluation. This should be considered as a last resort and only if your brother poses a serious threat to himself or others.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |392 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I have given my 2bhk family to my mother in law and brother in law. Over past few years they pay less rent 40% of market value rent. from oct 2023 brother in law lost job and he also has housing emi for 21L+ 3L personal loan. He is also not giving any rent also because of the.current situation. Now he is resorting to emotional black mail and citing senior citizen act stating daughter is liable to pay for living expenses. Already the current house they are staying can get 18K rent.We tried to arrange interview for his job but looks like he is not interested and he seems to be pshyco logical disturbed and talking all non sense. My mother in law is playing neutral role and saying yes to both side without taking a correct stand. My brother in-law is two divorce with history of drinking and physiological mental problems as stated by their ex-spouse.My ask 1. What are legal options available for me. 2. We want him to vacate our house and move to his own house or 1 bhk so that we can help with money from my 2bhk rent. 3. If nothing works can we make a first move of filing police compliant which I want as a last resort.
Ans: Firstly, seeking legal advice is crucial. A lawyer who specializes in property and family law can provide you with specific guidance based on your situation. They can review any rental agreements and help you understand the implications of the Senior Citizens Act that your brother-in-law is citing. This legal counsel will be invaluable in navigating the complexities of your situation.

Next, you might need to issue a formal notice to your brother-in-law and mother-in-law, requesting them to vacate the property. This notice should clearly articulate the reasons for your request, including the financial burden their reduced rent and non-payment are causing you. Provide them with a reasonable timeframe to find alternative accommodation, whether in his own house or a more affordable 1BHK apartment. This approach shows your willingness to support them while also addressing your legitimate concerns.

It's also important to communicate directly and openly with your mother-in-law. Her neutral stance may be contributing to the tension, and having a candid conversation about the situation's impact on your family could help her understand the need for a resolution. Explain the financial strain and the efforts you’ve made to assist your brother-in-law in finding employment. Her support could be pivotal in encouraging him to take more responsibility and action.

If these steps do not lead to a satisfactory resolution, you may have to consider involving the authorities. Filing a police complaint should be a last resort, but it is an option if your brother-in-law’s behavior becomes unmanageable or if he refuses to vacate the property despite all reasonable efforts. The aim here is to protect your family’s financial and emotional well-being while ensuring that your legal rights are upheld.

Throughout this process, it's essential to prioritize your mental health and well-being. Dealing with family conflicts can be emotionally draining, and seeking support from friends, a counselor, or a support group can provide you with the strength and perspective needed to handle these challenges effectively.

By taking these steps, you aim to find a balance between supporting your in-laws and protecting your own family’s interests. Remember, it’s important to act with compassion but also with a clear understanding of your rights and the need for fairness in this situation.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

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Help me!!! 1.I'm starting new "work" on my own(challenging for me) but my mind says quit it, be quite & do nothing. I myself don't know that wether the result of work will be +ive or uncompleted like alws. 2. My mind has become like order seeker type, when someone orders me, I do those things with dedicated(but sad from inside) manner. But when myself will try something different(which i fear, but necessary) then. "I QUITS IT" & sometimes I don't even start. 3. I'm like stuck no clue what/whom I want to do in life, I'm in cllg(1 yr) doing (CSE) ,. 4. I want to do/try (sports,talking girls,study,stocks,coding..) many things, but myself, my thoughts(overthinker), R like just be in the place where u are[confused,po*n,think about past/future(being billio..re,olympics..), girl (that u liked & never talked), abusive/beating self,.. sometimes feels like end life, but don't hv courage for that also.. 5. I tried self help books, spirituality, god, self affirmation, writing... & thay affected me(sometimes) but for only some time, then again that devil me comes up &these things never get completed. As no one in my family knows about all these, so that's Y ,I hv to fight/loose/try again, the battles with myself.
Ans: Dear Harsh,
If in the past you have had the urge to QUIT, how is this time going to be different? This is not to discourage you from taking up 'new work' but pointing out that there is some amount of work that you need to put to clear the mind out of blockages.
-What is limiting you?
- What is the reason for putting off things?
- What comes first to the mind when you start something new?
Also, focus on one thing at a time; study and go deep into it...what's this thing with work? I don't understand. When the mind is unsettled, take one thing/activity, pursue it and finish it. It could simply be studying for Year 1 of your college...just only do that...once your mind is trained in completing an activity, you can add another one the next year along with studying and then pursue both...it could be some sport and studying...then the next year, you could add a third activity. This is called 'training the mind in discipline'. Discipline will make sure that you start and finish things...So, go slow and do one thing at a time.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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