Dear Aruna, Just to brief we live in joint family and I lost my brother (suicidal) 4 months back he had few bad habits including steal the things. He left behind his wife and 2 sons ( 10 years and 6 years). Now my brother’s wife found herself incapable to take care of my nephews who is on wrong track, he stole lot of money and use it for his wish list .I and other family members sits with him no. Of times to make him understand that it’s bad habit and should stop this but still he is consistently stealing money from every corner of house and even some time kinds from home to sell outside. Due to my brother suicidal case we can not even think to force him above a limit..which we have already tried. Kindly suggest appropriate way to Handel him.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Ooops...it is very concerning. Are you absolutely sure or has there been some misunderstanding on this?
If you are sure, then he needs to be called out on what he has done, I would also want you as a parent to work with him on this.
Ask him:
- Did you need the money for anything specific?
- What could you have done instead of stealing the money?
- Are we not approachable as a family that you needed to steal the money?

The word, 'steal' is a strong one...but it must be used for him to understand that what he did was not correct at all. But do refrain from calling him a 'thief' or any other word that can be damaging. Since this might be the first mistake on his part (which is something I am assuming), he must be given a chance to explain his actions and told that it is unacceptable.

I hope through this exercise, he will feel remorse and DO the right thing in future. If you see nothing change, kindly consult with an expert who can decode this and help him out further. But, it must be stopped.

All the best!

Ans: Hello Manish,
mental health issues can be complex, and professional guidance is crucial. Consult with mental health professionals to create a plan tailored to your family's specific situation. It's important to prioritize the safety and well-being of your family. If your brother's behavior becomes threatening or harmful, it may be necessary to maintain physical and emotional distance while encouraging him to seek help. Look for support groups or organizations that specialize in helping families dealing with mental health issues. They can provide guidance, resources, and a network of people who have faced similar challenges. Consider arranging a family intervention, facilitated by a mental health professional, where you can express your concerns about your brother's behavior and encourage him to seek help. It's important to approach this with empathy and understanding. while you mentioned that you don't want to go the legal route, in extreme cases, you may need to consider legal options like obtaining a court order for involuntary psychiatric evaluation. This should be considered as a last resort and only if your brother poses a serious threat to himself or others.

Ans: Firstly, seeking legal advice is crucial. A lawyer who specializes in property and family law can provide you with specific guidance based on your situation. They can review any rental agreements and help you understand the implications of the Senior Citizens Act that your brother-in-law is citing. This legal counsel will be invaluable in navigating the complexities of your situation.

Next, you might need to issue a formal notice to your brother-in-law and mother-in-law, requesting them to vacate the property. This notice should clearly articulate the reasons for your request, including the financial burden their reduced rent and non-payment are causing you. Provide them with a reasonable timeframe to find alternative accommodation, whether in his own house or a more affordable 1BHK apartment. This approach shows your willingness to support them while also addressing your legitimate concerns.

It's also important to communicate directly and openly with your mother-in-law. Her neutral stance may be contributing to the tension, and having a candid conversation about the situation's impact on your family could help her understand the need for a resolution. Explain the financial strain and the efforts you’ve made to assist your brother-in-law in finding employment. Her support could be pivotal in encouraging him to take more responsibility and action.

If these steps do not lead to a satisfactory resolution, you may have to consider involving the authorities. Filing a police complaint should be a last resort, but it is an option if your brother-in-law’s behavior becomes unmanageable or if he refuses to vacate the property despite all reasonable efforts. The aim here is to protect your family’s financial and emotional well-being while ensuring that your legal rights are upheld.

Throughout this process, it's essential to prioritize your mental health and well-being. Dealing with family conflicts can be emotionally draining, and seeking support from friends, a counselor, or a support group can provide you with the strength and perspective needed to handle these challenges effectively.

By taking these steps, you aim to find a balance between supporting your in-laws and protecting your own family’s interests. Remember, it’s important to act with compassion but also with a clear understanding of your rights and the need for fairness in this situation.