Dear Anu, I would like to be anonymous.

Long story short, after two years of my marriage, my husband’s best friend’s wife shifted to India from abroad and applied for divorced, because she found her husband was a womanizer.

Both husband and wife stayed with us during that time, husband tried his best to persuade me to have an intimate relationship with him, I refused, I told my husband about it and he asked me to keep quiet.

Somehow a friend's wife filed a divorce case and the husband was virtually thrown out of the house, the case went messy.

We supported her in all possible ways. For 4 years every weekend we spend with her. And I saw that she was getting too possessive about my husband, I told this to my husband, he refuted.

In front of him only she would insult me and he would just keep quiet.

Our intimacy was gone, it was he who said he is not interested in intimacy anymore.

We stopped sharing a bedroom, during this lockdown after 8 years of stay at home mother, I was applying for jobs and attending interviews. I was at my possible lows.

Suddenly my husband became friendly and started talking about dogs, he wanted a pet, since he doesn't have time to care for it and I was not mentally prepared for any extra responsibility so I said no for the time being.

Instead he went ahead with her and asked her to buy one for us without informing me.

She called to inform me that she had ordered one from the breeder and it would be delivered the next morning.

I told her to cancel that. Not only this, she has called my daughter and informed her too that she is gifting the dog to her.

I told my husband that I want to walk out of this marriage, we had fought for more than a month.

I called her and told that 'This is it,' never to call my house or talk to me again.

After a month my husband went to her house with our daughter.

He has asked her to lie that they did not go there but my daughter came back and told me.

I feel cheated by my husband whenever the dog is around, it’s a poor animal.

I give food and take care of it but my anger and resentment is not coming down. I want to leave the marriage, because I feel there is no end to it. Please help me.

Hi Anu, 10+yrs of marriage with 9yr child. I am working and all financial burden is on me. I shifted separately from in-laws' house due to financial constraints and expectations. Though elder-in-law, my in-laws didn't try to stop our decision to move separately despite knowing that my hubby doesn't earn a single penny. They expected and I had to share financial expenses with my marginal income 10 years ago. After 5 years, we moved nearby and purchased our own house very little help from in-laws. I took loan and managed the rest with help from my family and friends. In between a lot happened. My father-in-law expired and my mother-in-law is a cancer patient. My mother-in-law started expecting from my hubby and me, probably because her younger son shifted with her family. She didn't want to live with them due to differences with her wife. She complained to my husband that we are not good enough to take care of her. I already had a lot of burden from office so I told my husband to take care of our child as well for sometime. He was quite depressed and frustrated with his inability to earn. Already lot of my hard-earned money has been put in his work n wasted.Now, the real problem during these difficult times began when we started fighting. I had lot of office stress and after mother in law complained, she shifted with her other son. At times, I got frustrated with my child also due to the whole mess, financial burden. I felt like all my hard earned money was wasted due to office stress and my hubby's irresponsible behaviour. He did not even take care of my child’s studies. He started watching porn... I saw him twice and even warned him. My husband started cheating on me with our maid. He did it when he was stressed because I was not able to give him time. I confronted him and since then it has been an emotional trauma. I am yet to accept it. 9 months have been passed. We decided on certain things but I couldn’t accept it.. Due to our emotional bond, I gave him another chance... During that time he accepted and was ready to leave everything and wanted me to be happy. He said he committed a big mistake but recently I found he called that b**ch later. When I confronted him he said he’d advised not to come home in front of his family members. I decided it would be best for him to move out and work from another place. My MIL was living with me but then I felt it too much at times.. now somewhat even my child has emotionally detached from him. It’s the same with him as we've been staying separately from 7 months. He visited 3 times during puja and other needs. I feel emotionally detached and I can’t digest the family situation.Sometimes I feel it's difficult to find the courage to avoid all and live alone. What's the point in living in a marriage for sake of it without having any emotional, physical, financial dependency or security?I am 39 and earn a decent salary at this moment. But I am not sure of my future as I work in a private firm. I am worried about my child’s education, old age, financial insecurity and burden. I haven’t been able to save much because of our financial liabilities and husband’s investments in businesses that never materialised.Before this incident, my husband supported me in my career and also to bring up our child. But what happened is too much and unexpected. Any suggestions?

HI ANUNice to contact you. I need your advice. Hope you can help me.We have been married for 22 years (arranged marriage). For the last 10 years we have some family dispute between my mother and wife.She used to hate me for the same. Moreover she didn’t have any interest in love and sex. She used to sleep in another bedroom. We live together with my son. She is housewife and completely involved in upbringing of my son. Six years back I was attracted and had affair with one of my colleagues. Once my wife come to know about our affair, she created too many problems. She became mad. She abused me verbally and physically. I stopped the affair, changed my job and location. I apologised and changed. I obeyed her. You can say I was a slave to her. In the meantime we never used to sleep together. I was afraid of her abuse so I never asked her for sex or love. She never asked me too. We live together but no love, no sex. Two years ago she told me that she has an affair with a guy from Facebook and they both had sex. That friend used her physically and financially. He had multiple affairs along with my wife. Now he forces her for the relationship. I talked to him and asked him to stay away. At the same time, I was shocked. My wife who completely hated sex and love had an affair with unknown guy. Again we had problems and arguments.If only she’d loved me neither of us would have had an affair.Problem is I can't digest this. I can't sleep at night. I was not physical with my friend. But my wife suspected in her mind and ruined our life. What to do? Shall I seek divorce? Should I consult a therapist to forget everything? Please guide me.

Dear Anu I am a 46 year old man .. married for last 16 years... My wife is well educated but a house wife by choice.. I lost my father when i was 18 and had struggled a lot to gain a great life in terms of money, name in my field and satisfaction at work. At home front we live a nuclear family... me, my wife and my 12 year daughter. But after my marriage in 2006 for next 6/7 years we were in joint family. my daughter was born in 2010.. In joint family me, my younger brother his wife and my mother were members... during these years, my wife never got along with my mother, brother and his wife... and also had fights [severe kind] where she accused them for petty reason...she demanded separate house within 3 month of marriage.. but since I was not financially settled so I promised her we will buy own home in course of time... but over these 6&7 years her behavior started really erratic.. she stopped talking to everyone, and keep fighting with all my family. also the house with joint family owned my me and younger brother... she demanded i should sell the house and get my share to buy own house. which i refused as my brother and his family with my mother were also staying there... and while buying it my mother had helped us financially, without having her name as owner. over the period things became really bitter... we also had fights where out of anger I happened to slap her.. but as promised I bought another house [with lot of efforts since i m self employee] within 5/6 years and we shifted to another city around our previous house. but after shifting she had the same temperament. She never got along with me.. Over an argument she would stop talking to me, and when confronted she would mention about my share in old house which i left... she was not happy seeing my brother living in that house with his family and my mother... i told her as promised we bought this house and I haven't withdrew my share in that house.. may be over the year i will take my share as per market value.. but at this point we don't need to do it.. since it will involve a lot of turbulence for my brother, his family and my mother as they were settled there. so I strongly told her she should not think about as she have her house and focus on it. Over these time, we had a very cute daughter... growing.. her schooling started.. i got busy with my work... and my wife by choice chose to be house wife... taking care of house... but she was hell bent on the house issue over selling it and taking my share.. and due to that we had several fights... which became my life miserable. her point was why pay EMI when you can get share and pay off the loans for new house. in these 8/9 years she became bitter person... no ties with my relatives /cousins, no friends, never got along with neighbors... and opposite to that i have very cordial relation with her family, cousins, my family and have great social circle. when my daughter was 10 year old, i was already settled with good career and financial status... i had cleared all the home loan for our new home... i did everything all out to make her happier but her wish to sell that house where my brother with his wife and my mother i didn't take share or sell it.. and she keeps nagging me with that and her temperament getting worst... now she started accusing me for having an affair and threatening me that she will complain police if i argue with her. unfortunately my daughter had to see this... but my daughter is very sorted, focused and a good kid. In last 2 years i managed to buy another house, which is bigger, where we shifted 1.5 years back, she wanted to do a puja and refused to invite anyone from my family.. also bought one more house as investment.. and a farm too as second home... Im very happy and satisfied with my career and other aspects of life... but the bitterness of wife kept on increasing... sometimes i felt she wanted me to fail and she could just take the pleasure of making me feel how she was right.. which never happened.. Now she is completely out of touch with my family... her anger triggers when i speak to my brother , my mom, Now over these years my brother also managed to earn some money and he paid me an amount as part of my share for the house he is living.. which we mutually agreed among us... and i withdrew my name from that property... i informed this to my wife.. first she didnt believe.. and then she was not interested in it.. so basically over these years i managed to fulfil everything what i promised also took my share from the joint house even i was not very happy with that situation. but all these incidences.. my wife became a difficult person to deal with... be it talking a simple conversation or smallest issue.. we don't have any physical relation .... we sleep in different bedrooms.. my wife also became too possessive and control freak with my daughter.. my daughter is 12 now and she retaliate with it.. so even they keep fighting now... me and my daughter have a great bonding... over these period i started feeling that i married a wrong person.. sometimes i think of divorce but i m worried about my daughter.. and also lot other things as im 45 already.. i wont say that i have never done any mistake while these 16 years but i never chose to disconnect with my wife... i worked really hard to earn money to build a good fortune for my wife and daughter... but looks like she doesn't care... and she takes me completely for granted... she thinks i wont leave her and will be stuck around.. i also advised to visit a therapist or counselor... or join a meditation or do anything she likes to do... be it creative or extra curricular.. but she just ignores it... i am into creative field and this domestic chaos sometimes really bothers me. it never effected my work yet but i m worried it might just. Let me know your opinion... if there is something i can do more to help this mess with my wife.

Dear Anu, Am Shilpa,36 years old.Got married to a friend in 2015.It was a love come arranged.Initially married life was going smooth.I was working before marriage and due to marriage and relocation , discontinued the job. After marriage i started new job even though my husband was against it.Some misunderstanding started between us slowly and most of the adjustments were done by me to avoid fights.After 2 years we were blessed with a baby boy and i had to reluctantly and was also forced to quit job to take care of our kid.And i agreed and things went smoothly again for 3 more years.I got busy with my motherhood. I felt my husband was happy and was changing for the happy family. But i was wrong, he had a physical relationship with his ex college friend. They used to have sex in hotels. They even had sex chats and used to share nude pictures . This broke my heart completely and was disturbed mentally. I wanted to enquire my husband with all the proofs in my hand.without the proof he would prove me mentally retarded women. Initially he asaulted and abused me for blaming on him.But when he knew abt the proofs, he accepted and apologised for his mistake and begged me not to take divorce only for the sake of our son.Even i dropped the idea of divorce thinking the future of our son.Later few months he acted as if he changed himself completely but he always had disrespect on me and my parents. I even suffered domestic violence once which shattered me into pieces. Even then he apologised me and forced me to drop the idea of divorce. I again started to adjust and compromise with my life only because of my kid and his good future as all elders advice. This adjustments continued for few more months.But once i saw his ex girlfriend calls and daughter pics in his mobile, i was again mentally disturbed and after thinking many times, i made up my mind and left him without explanning him . I packed all my luggage and came to my parents with my kid. Now i got a job in which i opted work from home so that i can concentrate on my kid and support myself financially. Am trying to move on but my true love towards him is making it difficult. Please advice me on this Anu mam. The step which i took is right ? After seperation he is harassing me to visit son and kidnapped him 2 times. I really don't want to share my son with him.Please advice what should I do.