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Anu Krishna  |580 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 06, 2023

Anu, is it okay to fight and not talk to your partner for a few days?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Usually I have found that it is better not to sleep over a fight as it can not only interfere with sleep but also, ot gives a way out to both the people involved to keep stretching and haggling over the same issue.

Make a RULE; that whatever difference of opinion is sorted by the end of the day. This will keep the couple not just alert but also find the strength to resolve their differences sooner than later. This of course requires practice and consistent effort just like any other relationship.

But of course, if the argument has escalated where both feel a lot of unpleasant feelings; it is okay to give each other some space and resolve it over the next couple of days BUT with a clear communication at the end of the day to each other that it's the situation that is being processed and not the other person and their behavior. So, utilize the time wisely to process, reflect and come up with an amicable solution.

All the best!

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Anu Krishna  |580 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2022

Ma'am, I'm in a relationship for three years now. Everything was normal in the beginning. But the past year has been extremely tumultuous for us as I've been expressing unnecessary anger towards my significant other.I never used to yell at him or push him to the point where he'd get annoyed of me and stops talking to me. While I'm the kind of person who likes to talk things out after a few hours of the argument but he's the opposite. He takes his own sweet time which is not wrong. I realise I treat him differently from my friends as I know subconsciously he won't break up with me. The last fight we had over something trivial made me feel like I pulled the last straw and I'm very guilty about it. Even I've started to realise now that somewhere along the way I took him for granted and kept hurting him as he gave me a lot of chances to improve. He is a very sweet person but I feel like I've turned him into an egoistic monster who doesn't want to see or talk to me anymore. I don't know how to save this relationship. I don't know if I should kill my hopes of continuing this relationship. We haven't spoken to each other for more than 2 weeks now and I am using this time to change myself and learn to control my anger and to speak with everyone with respect and understand them better. I want to tell him that I'm genuinely improving this time but he doesn't seem interested in listening to me as I've misused the prior chances so obviously he feels like he's being deceived this time to. So I made my mind to speak to him after a month until I feel like I've changed at least a little so I'm worthy of his love. Also I don't let my short temper and rudeness affect our relationship. But I'm afraid he might hate me even more for not trying to talk to him. I'm confused wondering if he'll move on and not realise in trying to change. What should I do?AM

Dear AM,

Oh my dear, why are you being so unkind to yourself? It takes two to tango!

Maybe, you realize that you have been taking him for granted, but hey, there’s an expiry date to punishing yourself over it.

Once you know, it’s time to work on your relationship and that certainly doesn’t mean being harsh.

This could also lead you to feel victimised and not be a very favourable mindset. Instead, what if you get to the root of the challenge at hand?

Here’s a few reality check questions. It might give you a chance to go back to the drawing board and reevaluate your relationship with a fresh pair of eyes.

What is causing me to have that temper?

What usually triggers the arguments?

What did I see in my partner when I chose him to be my significant half?

Do I still see the same in him even now or has it changed? If yes, what has changed? Am I willing to adapt to the change?

What causes me to be afraid of him moving on? Am I in a co-dependent relationship?

What will happen to me if he moves on?

Why is important for me to put so much energy into changing myself? Is it for myself or to keep him from moving on?

You get the drift?

You can add to these questions and give your mind an alternate way of processing things into a solution space.

Having said this; it’s time to give yourself some love too, no matter what, prioritize yourself and create some mind space to reevaluate where you are to where you want to be.

Happy 2022 and best wishes!

Love Guru

Love Guru   |155 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2021

I am in a relationship since nine years, including four years of marriage. Since the day of marriage, I am having regular fights with my wife concerning my mother and sisters. Of late, I am feeling like I have lost the love between the two of us. We have stopped talking and are not even getting a chance to spend some time together. Whenever we do, we end up arguing about past mistakes and all. We never talk about the future. During the second wave of the pandemic, we came to our native place. After spending some good days, she went to her home for some days and now she is not willing to come back. We recently had a fight over phone and stopped talking. Then I started calling her and talking to her but she does not seem to be in a mood to talk. Now, I have stopped talking to her. I am bit worried as I feel like I am left alone. Despite so many efforts towards her and her family , she finds a reason to get pissed about me. I am not sure anymore what to do. If I try to make her understand, then this is again the same situation happening since four years. If I don’t, then I know she won’t be taking any initiative from her side. Please suggest.

You have left out one very important piece of information. Do you and your wife live with your mother and sisters?

I know in-laws are a bone of contention in most households at some point, but it comes to such an extreme only when people are forced to cohabitate with them. And if this is the case, you need to change the living arrangements pronto.

Never mind whether your wife is right or your family is right; if you want to save your marriage and improve relations between your family and your wife, move out. Immediately.

I’d like you to write in again and tell me exactly what’s going on. And this is for both of you -- if you don’t let go of the past and forgive each other’s past mistakes, you’ll never move forward.

The idea is not to repeat them and fall into old patterns of behaviour.

You need to make a promise to each other that, when having a discussion, neither will rake up past fights unless they have an extreme bearing on the current scenario.

Latest Questions

Sushil Sukhwani  |109 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Oct 04, 2023

Can you please give me any tips for preparing for GRE?
Ans: Hello Vishal,

First and foremost, thank you for getting in touch with us. I am happy to hear about your plans on preparing for the Graduate Record Examination (GRE). To prepare well and secure good grades, I would suggest the following tips:

1. Get to know the structure or format of the GRE
2. Make a study plan
3. Make use of authentic GRE study resources or guides
4. Practice on a regular basis
5. Get to know your strengths and weaknesses in each component of the GRE. Also, pay more attention to the areas that require improvement.
6. Sharpen your mathematical abilities by solving maths problems
7. Write Essays and pay heed to the format, flow of the essay, and clarity.
8. Enhance your vocabulary through vocabulary apps and flashcards.
9. Brush up on your reading skills by reading journals, newspapers, and literature.
10. Appear for Mock Exams
11. Understand the mistakes you have made in the mock exams and learn from them.
12. Do not practice continuously, engage in brief breaks during study sessions to remain alert and concentrate better.
13. To acquire more guidance, make use of GRE test prep books, engage in courses online, or consider hiring a teacher.
14. Register for the GRE exam well before you intend appearing for the test in order to obtain a seat.
15. If you plan on appearing for the GRE in offline mode, ensure that you visit your exam centre beforehand.
16. Be mindful of any modifications in the structure of the GRE or its rules as well as any updates.
17. Maintain a Healthy Balance
18. Master Time Management. Answer easy questions first and save the difficult ones for later. Avoid dedicating ample time to one question.
19. Stay Confident and remain assured to earn good grades in the test.
20. On the day of the test, carry all the required materials, including the ID and the admission test card.

Preparing for the GRE examination requires one to put in a lot of effort and time. I would suggest that you create a study plan in accordance with your personal strengths and weaknesses.

For more information, you can visit our website.

Sushil Sukhwani  |109 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Oct 04, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 24, 2023
I have completed my BE in Mechatronics in 2016. Then i started working in embedded electronic segment. But now i want to do masters from USA with top universities in power electronics. What is process. Which university will be best. Is power electronics will be good choice as academically i am from mechatronics background but professionally i am from embedded and power domain.
Ans: Hello,

To begin with, thank you for contacting us. I am glad to hear about your plans on pursuing a Master's degree in the USA. As an answer to your question, I would like to let you know that it is indeed possible and rather a fruitful step to shift from a Bachelor's degree in Mechatronics to a Master's degree in Power Electronics in the United States. Take the following steps into consideration.

1. Conduct a thorough study and choose: As the first step in the process, I would recommend that you conduct an extensive study on the field of your choice i.e. power electronics and take into account the employment possibilities it has to offer. Although you have a background in mechatronics as previously mentioned by you, you should make sure that the field of power electronics matches your career objectives and interests, and for the same, I suggest that you get in touch with field experts as they will be able to advise you better.

2. Select Universities: There are a number of universities that are renowned for their programs in the field of power electronics. I recommend that you conduct a comprehensive study and list universities. University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, University of California, Berkeley, Stanford University, and University of Michigan are among the prominent ones. In addition, the university’s location, scholarship opportunities they have to offer, the experience of faculty members, and the likelihood of you securing admission should also be taken into account.

3. Appear for the GRE and English Proficiency Tests viz., IELTS or TOEFL: Majority of the universities in USA require students to prepare for and undertake the GRE i.e. Graduate Record Examination. You may also be required to prove your fluency in the English language through appearing for English competency tests viz. the IELTS or TOEFL, if English is not your first language.

4. Submit a Strong Personal Statement or Statement of Purpose: Next, I would suggest that you draft a strong personal statement or Statement of Purpose that outlines your reasons for wanting to pursue a Master's degree in Power Electronics, how your training in mechatronics as well as your hands-on experience in the embedded and power sectors will help you succeed, and the reasons behind selecting the universities you intend applying to.

5. Submit Academic Marksheets and Endorsement Letters: Along with the SOP, you will also need to submit your BE program marksheets, and obtain strong recommendation letters from instructors and employers who can attest to your educational and work abilities.

6. Take necessary courses: As mentioned earlier, you have a background in mechatronics and now wish to pursue your Master's in Power Electronics. To aid in your transition from mechatronics to power electronics, and to fill in the knowledge gap between your training in mechatronics and the particular demands of power electronics, you may be required to appear for certain prerequisite courses. The courses that you may be required to appear for are mentioned on the websites of the universities.

7. Plan your Finances: Studying in the USA can be a costly affair, and so I suggest that you plan your finances adequately. Take into account your financial circumstances. Also universities in USA offer ample scholarships and assistantships, look into the possible financial aid options that universities have to offer.

8. Make Applications to Universities: As part of the application procedure you will need to submit all the necessary documentation, pay the required application fees, and adhere to application deadlines. I suggest that you complete each university’s online application procedure.

9. Apply for a Visa: On receiving a Letter of Acceptance from the university, as the next step in the process, you will be required to apply for a student visa. Generally, an F-1 visa is required to study in USA. I suggest that you submit the required paperwork and adhere to all the visa prerequisites.

10. Prepare to Migrate: The final step in the process will require you to make all the necessary arrangements. Arrange for accommodation, obtain a medical insurance, and make arrangements for other requirements in the country. Understand the customs and academic standards of the country.

As an answer to your query whether power electronics is a good choice or not, I would like to tell you that as you have expertise in the power and embedded sectors, this field can be a fantastic one. Different sectors viz., electric vehicles, renewable energy, consumer electronics, etc. all depend on the field of power electronics. As mechatronics frequently includes the combination of mechanical systems, control systems, and electronics, your knowledge in the field of mechatronics can offer a distinct viewpoint.

Lastly, the university that you select should resonate with professional ambitions and research pursuits with the filed of power electronics. I would suggest that you conduct a thorough study on not only the courses but also the expertise of the faculty members at each university to ascertain which one best suits your educational and professional goals.

For more information, you can visit our website.

Sushil Sukhwani  |109 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2023
I am doing WILP M.Sc IT first year BITS It is a course of 2.5 years in BITS. Can i join for 2nd year in abroad universities
Ans: Hello,

First and foremost, thank you for getting in touch with us. I am happy to hear about your plans on deciding to pursue the 2nd year of your WILP M.Sc IT BITS Pilani program at a university overseas. As an answer to your query, I would like to inform you that a number of factors including overseas universities’ guidelines as well as your BITS Pilani program’s acknowledgement play a vital role in deciding whether or not you are eligible to pursue the second year of the program at a university abroad. Please take the following factors into account:

1. Consider the program’s acknowledgement and accreditation: Accreditation or getting certified guarantees a student that his/her degree is legitimate and recognized by universities across the globe. As the first step in the process, I would suggest that you make sure that the pertinent academic institutions in India as well as overseas, both recognize as well as accept the WILP M.Sc. IT program at BITS Pilani.

2. Get to know the Transfer Guidelines: Transfer students are generally accepted by certain universities. Nevertheless, they possess unique prerequisites and constraints, and thus, in my opinion, it’s best to consult your preferred universities overseas in order to understand their guidelines with respect to the credit transfer from other schools/universities.

3. Familiarize Yourself with prerequisites for Admission: For transfer students, varying prerequisites for admission may be set forth by varying universities. I suggest that you get to know and adhere to not only their education criteria but also their prerequisites for language competency.

4. Ensure a coherence between the course curriculum: You will need to make sure that there is a coherence between the course of study that was completed by you at BITS Pilani and the program of study at the international university. Remember that in order to fill in any gaps, you may be needed to appear for other extra courses.

5. Plan your Finances: Pursuing studies overseas can be a costly affair, and for this reason, you will need to ensure that you have sufficient funds to pay for your living costs, tuition fees, as well as other miscellaneous expenditures.

6. Get in touch with education counselors: To better comprehend the consequences and the steps involved in the process of transferring to a foreign university, I highly recommend that you get in touch with education counselors at BITS Pilani as they will be in a better position to offer specialized advice based on your circumstances.

7. Get to know the Application Deadlines: You should get to know the last date to apply to your preferred universities overseas. For that, I recommend that you start planning well in advance and send in your application as per schedule.

8. Follow Visa and Immigration Prerequisites: There are visa and immigration prerequisites associated with studying overseas that you will be required to look in. To be able to study in your preferred country, I suggest that you adhere to the visa requirements in order to acquire the appropriate authorization.

I would like to inform you that transferring to an overseas university to pursue the second year of your studies is indeed possible. Nevertheless, you will need to take into account all the aforementioned aspects and plan meticulously. To see if you qualify and to understand the likelihood of transfer, I recommend that you conduct an extensive study and directly get in touch with each university as each may have unique prerequisites and guidelines.

For more information, you can visit our website.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.


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