Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1047 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
DR Question by DR on Aug 11, 2022Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi Anu, I am a married 27 yr old girl pursuing my medical PG degree in a college and my husband is also fellow doctor residing in another city.
I stay in a hostel and I was in a relationship with a guy during my UG days.
Actually he used to be my best friend.
We are a gang of 4 and no one knows about my relationship except us both.
We moved on due to caste issues and foreseeing the problems after marriage in our families.
We are in touch with each other. He got PG degree in my college and seeing him is haunting my memories though we talk casually and not on regular basis.
My husband knows about us and asked me to avoid him. But I can't give up on my friendship.
Can a friendship aged in love not be reverted to friendship?

Ans:

Dear DR,

Feelings aren’t something that can be set aside that easily.

To lead a different relationship than the one that you were in with the same person requires a lot of emotional maturity from both of you to make this real and honest.

If you look at it from the point of view of your husband, he might either be insecure about this, or he can foresee a situation up ahead which might not be very pleasant.

You have mentioned that seeing him is bringing back memories.

Are you really ready to maintain a friendship without the feelings coming in the way? Are you ready to manage what this might do to your husband?

If you are ready and be objective about all of this, then first sit your husband down and talk to him and his fears.

Reassure him but like any relationship, all this requires a lot of work and then it’s also time to ask yourself, is this all worth it and do I really need to do this?

Also, is the other person from your past, also willing to understand that this requires him to put your marriage above his needs?

So, check with yourself what and how much you can handle and whether you are ready for this new challenge?

Best wishes!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1047 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 01, 2022

Listen
Relationship
I am very stressed these days. I am in love with a married man. He happens to be my colleague whom I met in 2020.Initially it was just a senior junior relation where he would help me in official matters. At the same time, I was recovering from a break up followed by severe health complications. Slowly, I started spending time with him, in the office only talking about office issues then my personal life. He too shared some of his and eventually I started developing feelings for him. But since I knew he was married I would always maintain that distance. I just wanted a healthy friendship but may be my personal turmoil was to the extent that I needed an emotional support and so I confided in him. He too would understand me, give me support and I could feel that he likes me. One day I confessed my feelings and he too reciprocated. He had told me earlier that he is living a compromised married life where there is no emotional connection. However, he will continue with it as his wife is dependent on him and I said I don’t want to break a family. But I have fallen in love with him. His presence has given me such solace I cannot describe. I don’t want to break a home. So, I have started maintaining distance as well but I really miss him. I feel I lost a friend in the process.
Ans:

Dear SJ,

This is something that I have been seeing lately with a lot of people.

Something lacks within your current relationship and to fulfil that you look for it elsewhere only to realise that things have gotten out of hands.

In your case, love has blossomed in and suddenly now you have realized that it might cause a flutter within two relationships.

He has made it clear that he wants to be with his wife which should give you an idea not to make any more emotional investment. You will end up getting hurt even more if you do.

Time for you to start feeling solace and gaining better self-esteem by valuing yourself more. You don’t need anyone for you to love yourself, do you?

So, stop giving this so much importance. He was there when you needed him and vice-versa. Now, that things are getting a little complicated, time to revise the way you think and act.

You don’t need to lose a friend if the feelings that you have for him can be healthier and not draining on either of you.

If not, maybe you need to think how you can handle this agony better. Be your own friend first and then you start making better choices on who to let into your life.

Possible? Yes, start now…

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |254 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello there Ravi, I am married with one teenager son. My hubby has a hi profile job. About a year ago, I became friends with a married man and we connected really well and it was a great friendship we had. About half a year ago that we decided to disconnect with each other mutually. It was just a very simple but amazingly thick friendship. And all the more reason to part ways. Even though so much time has passed, there are some memories that I cannot erase and I find that we still look out for each other too. He left a huge impact on me and even though am able to move on from him majorly, I still crash into him ( we don’t talk now) or his family and the memories of our friendship comes back to me. Earlier I used to shed a tear daily on losing him as a friend now I don’t though but since he’s always around I find it difficult to forget him fully.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand it's difficult to lose a friend. Friendships are important and it is not uncommon to have lingering feelings even if he was just a friend. It happens with most deep friendships. However, right now it is essential to prioritize your current relationships and commitments, including your marriage and family and most importantly, yourself.

I suggest you focus on the present and be grateful for the friendship you experienced. Remind yourself of the reason you decided to sever ties; it must have been important to be worth losing a great friend. Engage in self-care. Find new friends. Not all friendships will be thick but having friends is essential to live a healthy life.

Remember, it takes time to move on, even if it is from a friendship. Allow yourself that time. There is no need to rush through the process. If you find these feelings persisting, seeing a counselor can help you get through it in a more structured way. Nevertheless, you are doing great yourself!

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5167 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hi , I am age of 47 yrs and looking to increase my liquidity to 5 crore minimum in span of next 5-8 yrs, would appreciate suggestions for same ? Current distribution stands at PPF 55Lac (mine and wife), SSA 6 lac, EPF 35 lac, FD 18-19 lac, RD 11 lac, KVP 4.5 lac, gratuity currently around 6 lac, company allocated shares at 1.89 lac, NPS 5 lac and Miscellaneous 6 lac, 2 property at invested value of 2 crore, personal term plan of 50 lac and corporate term plan of 1crore. Mediclaim sponsored from organization and also looking to buy one at personal level. Stocks and MF, I keep investing and keeping selling, currently Equity 1.5 lac and MF 1.62 lac. Current take home salary 2 lac per month. No loans or debt.
Ans: Increasing your liquidity to Rs 5 crore in the next 5-8 years is achievable with a strategic approach. Here are some suggestions:

Assessing Current Assets
PPF and EPF: These are excellent for long-term growth but have limited liquidity.

FD and RD: Fixed Deposits and Recurring Deposits are safe but offer moderate returns.

KVP and Gratuity: These are secure but less liquid.

Company Shares: These can offer high returns but come with risks.

NPS: It’s good for retirement but has limited liquidity.

Properties: Real estate is valuable but not easily liquidated.

Suggested Investment Mix
Mutual Funds
Equity Mutual Funds: Invest in diversified equity funds. They offer high growth potential.

Debt Mutual Funds: Include some debt funds. They provide stability and liquidity.

Balanced Funds: Consider balanced funds. They offer a mix of equity and debt.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Expert Management: Professional fund managers make informed decisions.

Flexibility: Actively managed funds adapt to market conditions.

Growth Potential: They aim to outperform the market.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Passive Management: They follow the market without active intervention.

Limited Flexibility: Index funds can't adapt to changing market conditions.

Lower Growth: They may not achieve high returns compared to actively managed funds.

Drawbacks of Direct Funds
Lack of Advisory Support: Direct funds lack professional guidance.

Complex Management: Managing direct funds requires market knowledge.

No Personalized Strategy: Regular funds offer tailored advice from CFPs.

Fixed Income Instruments
Bonds: Invest in government or corporate bonds. They provide steady returns.

Fixed Maturity Plans (FMPs): Consider FMPs for predictable returns.

Stock Market Investments
Diversified Portfolio: Invest in a mix of large, mid, and small-cap stocks.

Regular Review: Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio.

Emergency Fund
Maintain Liquidity: Keep at least 6 months of expenses in a liquid fund.

High-Interest Savings Account: Use a high-interest savings account for better returns.

Health and Life Insurance
Personal Mediclaim: Buy a personal health insurance policy. Ensure it covers critical illnesses.

Adequate Life Insurance: Ensure your term plan coverage is sufficient for your family’s needs.

Tax Planning
Tax-efficient Investments: Choose tax-saving instruments that offer good returns.

Regular Reviews: Review your tax-saving investments regularly to maximize benefits.

Final Insights
Increasing your liquidity to Rs 5 crore is a realistic goal. Focus on a balanced investment strategy. Prioritize equity mutual funds and bonds. Avoid index and direct funds. Ensure proper insurance coverage. Regularly review and adjust your investments. This strategic approach will help you achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5167 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hi I have invested in hdfc small cap IDCW-R 2000, Quant small cap growth 2000 and Hdfc mid cap apportunity fund 1 lacs please advise for better future.
Ans: Your investments show a good mix of small and mid-cap funds. This is a positive start as it can provide higher returns over the long term.

Small Cap Investments
Small cap funds have the potential for high growth. They can outperform large caps over the long term. However, they are volatile and can be risky. Consider your risk tolerance before investing more in this category. Diversify with other asset classes to balance risk.

Mid Cap Investments
Mid cap funds offer a balance between growth and stability. They have the potential for significant returns. They are less volatile than small caps. This makes them a good addition to your portfolio. Keep a close eye on their performance.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Review your portfolio regularly. This helps in staying aligned with your financial goals. Rebalance if needed. This ensures your portfolio remains diversified. Regular review helps in taking timely action.

Importance of Goal-Based Investing
Link your investments to specific goals. This makes it easier to track progress. Set short-term and long-term goals. Align your investments accordingly. This helps in staying focused and disciplined.

Benefits of SIPs
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) help in disciplined investing. They average out market volatility. SIPs ensure regular investment and can provide good returns over time. Continue with your SIPs for long-term wealth creation.

Emergency Fund and Liquidity
Maintain a sufficient emergency fund. Park it in liquid funds for easy access. This ensures you can handle unexpected expenses. A well-planned emergency fund provides financial stability.

Professional Guidance
Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner. They can provide tailored advice. A CFP helps in optimizing your portfolio. They guide you in making informed decisions. Professional advice ensures you stay on track with your goals.

Risk Management
Assess your risk tolerance regularly. Adjust your investments based on your risk profile. Diversify across various asset classes. This minimizes risk and ensures steady growth.

Tax Planning
Consider the tax implications of your investments. Invest in tax-efficient instruments. Tax planning helps in maximizing returns. Be aware of the tax benefits and liabilities.

Final Insights
Your current investments are a good start. Continue with disciplined investing. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio. Align your investments with your financial goals. Seek professional guidance when needed. This ensures long-term financial stability and growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5167 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Listen
Money
Namaste sir Kuch Acche large, mid and small companies bataiye jaha pe long term ke liye investment kiya ja sake..? ????
Ans: Namaste Sir,
Thank you for reaching out with your query about long-term investment options. As a Certified Financial Planner, I recommend focusing on mutual funds instead of individual stocks. Here’s why:

Diversification and Risk Management
Diversification: Mutual funds invest in a diversified portfolio. This reduces risk.

Risk Management: Fund managers actively manage portfolios. This helps in mitigating risks.

Stability: Investing in mutual funds provides more stability. Stocks can be volatile.

Professional Management
Expertise: Mutual funds are managed by experienced professionals. They make informed decisions.

Research: Fund managers conduct extensive research. This ensures better stock selection.

Performance: Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market. This is beneficial for long-term growth.

Flexibility and Convenience
Flexibility: You can start with a small amount. SIPs allow regular investments.

Convenience: No need to monitor markets daily. Fund managers take care of it.

Liquidity: Mutual funds offer good liquidity. You can redeem units as needed.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Expert Guidance: Actively managed funds have skilled managers. They make strategic decisions.

Market Opportunities: Managers capitalize on market opportunities. This enhances returns.

Adaptability: Actively managed funds adapt to market changes. This helps in maximizing gains.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Passive Management: Index funds follow the market. They lack active management.

Limited Growth: They may not outperform the market. Actively managed funds aim for better returns.

No Flexibility: Index funds stick to a specific index. They can’t adapt to market conditions.

Drawbacks of Direct Funds
No Advisory Support: Direct funds lack advisory support. This can be challenging for investors.

Complexity: Managing direct funds requires market knowledge. Regular funds offer professional management.

No Personalized Strategy: Direct funds don’t offer personalized strategies. Investing through a CFP ensures tailored advice.

Advantages of Regular Funds
Personalized Advice: Investing through a CFP provides personalized advice. This aligns with your financial goals.

Comprehensive Planning: Regular funds offer comprehensive financial planning. This includes tax planning and retirement planning.

Ongoing Support: You get ongoing support and portfolio reviews. This ensures your investments stay on track.

Investing for Long Term
Consistency: Consistent investing is key for long-term wealth creation. SIPs in mutual funds help in achieving this.

Power of Compounding: Long-term investments benefit from compounding. Mutual funds help in maximizing this benefit.

Goal Alignment: Align your investments with financial goals. Mutual funds offer various schemes for different goals.

Final Insights
Investing in mutual funds is a strategic choice. It offers diversification, professional management, and flexibility. Actively managed funds provide growth opportunities. They are better suited for long-term investments. Avoid index funds and direct funds. They lack the benefits of active management and personalized advice.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner. This ensures a comprehensive approach to your financial planning. Focus on consistent investing and goal alignment. This will help you achieve financial stability and growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5167 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I am 60 years old. I have a SIP account of 2000 rs. Which i put every month. If i put 1 lakh as fixed. For how long i need to keep it in MF. And how much income will i get.
Ans: Your SIP of Rs 2000 per month is a good start. Investing regularly builds discipline and creates wealth over time.

Lump Sum Investment
You have Rs 1 lakh for a fixed investment. This is a strong move towards securing your financial future.

Investment Duration
To determine the duration, consider your financial goals. If you aim for retirement, a longer period is beneficial.

5 Years: Moderate returns, suitable for short-term goals.
10 Years: Higher returns, good for medium-term goals.
15 Years or More: Maximum returns, ideal for long-term goals like retirement.
Expected Returns
Mutual funds can offer varying returns. Historical data suggests:

Equity Funds: 10-15% per annum.
Debt Funds: 6-8% per annum.
Hybrid Funds: 8-12% per annum.
Assessing Risk
Understanding your risk tolerance is crucial.

Low Risk: Debt funds are stable and safer.
Moderate Risk: Hybrid funds balance equity and debt.
High Risk: Equity funds offer higher returns but are volatile.
Diversification
Diversifying your investment reduces risk.

Equity Funds: Invest in multiple sectors.
Debt Funds: Choose a mix of short-term and long-term bonds.
Hybrid Funds: Combine both equity and debt.
Inflation and Tax Considerations
Inflation impacts your returns. Equity funds generally outpace inflation.

Equity Funds: Taxed at 10% after one year.
Debt Funds: Taxed based on your income slab if held for less than three years. After three years, taxed at 20% with indexation benefits.
Hybrid Funds: Tax treatment varies based on equity and debt proportion.
Regular Monitoring
Regularly review your investments. Adjust your portfolio based on market conditions and personal goals.

Professional Guidance
A Certified Financial Planner can offer personalized advice. They help in aligning your investments with your financial goals.

Final Insights
Investing Rs 2000 monthly in SIPs and Rs 1 lakh in mutual funds is wise.

Stay Invested: Longer durations yield better returns.
Diversify: Spread your investments across different funds.
Monitor: Regularly check your investments and adjust as needed.
Seek Guidance: A Certified Financial Planner can provide tailored advice.
Invest wisely to secure your future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x