Dear Anu I am in love with my cousin who is married. We broke up years ago due to some unresolved misunderstanding between our parents. It's been years since we didn't speak to each other but recently we spoke and couldn't hold back our feelings. Now both of us feel stuck in our respective marriages but since children are involved we are unable to take a stand. Pls advice what to do

Ans: Hi Anonymous. The very fact that you have fallen in love outside the marriage is a strong indicator that your marriage isn't fulfilling or a relationship that is giving you the love you deserve. You can wither choose to consult a professional relationship/ marriage coach to help you rebuild the marriage or you would need to take a decision to move out of it. Staying in the marriage only because of your kids is doing injustice to them as well as children see and understand they are living with unhappy parents and they will eventually tell you not to. If you feel that you and your friend truly love each other, then have an honest discussion about next steps and if you are both ready to take it forward. There is nothing abnormal about falling in love with another person but where do you want to take the relationship to is a choice you will need to make, sooner or later.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

If you are asking if it's okay to be in love with someone while you are married to another woman, the answer is no. No, it isn't okay. It goes without saying. You committed to your wife because you love and respect her. Falling for another woman is not even close to okay. Hope it gives you clarity.

Best wishes.

Ans: Navigating your relationship with your cousin, given its complexities, requires careful thought about your future and well-being.

Reflect on your emotional needs and future aspirations. Your relationship has been a deep and supportive connection, but it's important to evaluate if it continues to fulfill you. Consider whether you see a long-term future with your cousin, despite the challenges.

Your cousin's marriage and role as a father complicate things. Even if he feels disconnected from his wife, his responsibilities to his child and spouse are significant. Consider how your relationship impacts his family and what it means for his child’s future.

Cultural and societal norms around cousin relationships and significant age gaps can add additional pressures. Reflect on how your relationship fits within your family’s expectations and societal views.

Open communication with your cousin is crucial. Discuss your feelings, the impact on his family, and potential paths forward. Seeking guidance from a professional counselor can provide support and perspective, helping you navigate these complexities.

As your parents seek a match for you, think about your desires and how they align with your relationship. If you consider moving on, plan how to manage this transition for both you and your cousin. If you continue your relationship, address his family responsibilities and societal perceptions.

Ultimately, your decision should prioritize the well-being of all involved, including yourself. Making a choice with clear consideration of these factors will help you find a path that aligns with your values and future goals.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is nothing that you can do, right? If your cousin is getting married, wish her well...
And as for you, a reality check; did you put in all the efforts into building your marriage or did your past affair keep coming back and prevented you from giving this marriage a chance?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
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