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Anu

Anu Krishna  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Amar Question by Amar on May 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Anu Madam, I am 45 yrs old person living with wife and son. As i am working in educational institute office, one of 33 yrs old lady faculty has shown interest in me in last 3 moths. So i invited her to meet me outside office for some minor office work. She came in hotel. We have taken coffee and discussed for half and hour on various personal things. In the end of meeting, i just gave her yellow rose to express my feelings as a good friend. But she got angry. So mam where i went wrong or wrongly made hurriness. Can i approach her again but she is not talking with me. If she is not interested, then why shown interest to come in hotel and talked so much time?

Ans: Dear Amar,
Please DO NOT indulge in relationships at your work place even if the meetings are outside. Unnecessary complications...
What was the yellow rose all about? Do you go around giving roses to every lady that you meet? She surely picked on it that you possibly have feelings for her and hence is maintaining her distance...
Just because she came to a hotel to have coffee, how did you assume that she is interested in you? Making sense, now? Your assumptions are possibly working against you...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dear Love Guru, I am working in an educational Institute where I am a non-teaching staff. Out of many staff members, I liked one married lady faculty. She always laughs when I crack jokes. She talks nicely with me. So I am waiting for a chance to impress her and propose her. After so many waiting months, I got a chance. Her payment cheque was with me for delivery so I called her at a place which is near to her home. There, I asked her a coffee in a hotel. She immediately agreed. So we go to nearby hotel and have a lot of general discussion for one hour. At the end of it, I gave her one yellow rose as a good friend to start the friendship. After 2-3 days, I again called her to meet me in a hotel for coffee. She first said yes and after one hour she refused to meet me. After that, she stopped talking with me and blocked me from WhatsApp, phones and other things. She is avoiding me continuously due to which I have gone into depression. Love Guru, please tell me where I went wrong.
Ans:

Oh, I’ll tell you where you went wrong alright -- by trying to pursue a married woman!

Just because she is nice to you and laughs at your jokes does not mean she’s romantically interested in you. And maybe she realised that you’re in it for more than friendship and decided to cut things off right there.

I would suggest you behave appropriately, keep your distance and look for a relationship elsewhere.

I need not remind you that it’s also your job on the line if she complains of sexual harassment at your workplace.

Look elsewhere, there are plenty of fish in the sea!

 

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Dear Ravi sir, I am 45 yrs old person living with wife and son. As i am working in educational institute office, one of 33 yrs old lady faculty has shown interest in me in last 3 moths. So i invited her to meet me outside office for some minor office work. She came in hotel. We have taken coffee and discussed for half and hour on various personal things. In the end of meeting, i just gave her yellow rose to express my feelings as a good friend. But she got angry. So mam where i went wrong or wrongly made hurriness. Can i approach her again but she is not talking with me. If she is not interested, then why shown interest to come in hotel and talked so much time?
Ans: Dear Amar,

It sounds to me like you have mistaken her friendship or probable professional interest for personal. Since your yellow rose was not taken well by her, the situation is pretty self-explanatory. She is not interested in you in the way you assumed she was. Also, discussing a few personal matters with a colleague does not necessarily mean someone has romantic feelings for you. Please understand that. As for why she came to a hotel to meet you, I can't comment on that without knowing the context or hearing from both sides. Moreover, you are married with a child. Even if someone was interested in you, is it not immoral to indulge them? I am not sure how I can help you here other than pointing out the obvious. You are married and your colleague does not have the feelings that you thought she did.

If she is not speaking to you, it is best to keep your distance. She has made her stance clear. Trying to convince her would be crossing boundaries. A 'no' does not always have to be said in words.

Best Wishes.

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