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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 26, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
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Sandeep Question by Sandeep on May 24, 2024Hindi
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Hi I am 40 yrs with wife and kid of 7 yrs. My problem is family oriented. I have three sister, elder two sisters are well married and settled. My younger sister had an arrange marriage in 2004 and she had a divorce in 2011. With that marriage she has a boy child who is almost 18 now and too lazy, she as per her will did an intercaste love marriage in court in 2015 without informing anyone. I used to stay away in delhi and my parents and eldest sister(at her in laws place) in kolkata and d youngest married d guy 2 km from parents house. In 2017 i shifted back to kolkata as my wife was pregnant, so we took a decision dat now it would be better to stay in joint family as d kid will get grand parents and we will also serve my parents, but my youngest sister had a very bad habit of calling my mom every day almost 5-7 times and coming to parental house every alternate days which i rrsisted and i faced backlash from my parents and her too. Then suddenly things changed her husband became a very rowdy person and started beating her as she narrated and she came back to parental house with two kids one was from previous husband and one was from d court love marriage, now she stays in same flat where my parents stays. In 2017 aug my kid was born in 2019 she came back and den i again decided to leave house with my wife and kid as it was 2 bhk flat and all people flocked there as if ut was a zoo so i decided to leave with my family and we moved to ujjain and started living peacefully. Reason for leaving was my younger sis her eldest son and my dad has a very bad habit of shouting arguing nd fighting means domestic violence which i have seen in my childhood days even wen my dad used to do violence with my mom. Now i say her to take divorce and stay with parents or go back to her husbamd or where ever she wants. My dad is retired with a fixed income of around 20k per month. My sis and her son stays at home uses all facilities of home whereas when i shifted to ujjain i did all hardships and built my rented flat. Used to sleep on floor slowly we both husband wife worked hard and bought bed, kitchen utensils fridge and tv. Now my concern is she is not taking divorce and fully dependent on my father. She and her son both earn almost 35k together but their contribution towards house is big Zero towards ration is ZEro yes for basic dey dont pay anythng but like she pays for her small child school fees almost 3000 and whatever dey feel like eating extra den normal homely food she brings for her kids. As she is not taking divorce what can be main reason and future consequences to my kid and my life and my mom and dad have just become a free maid for her kids, my sis does all masti and roams freely till 9 pm without any concern for her kids as my mom is behind as maid to take care. Means my mom and dad have no saving cz of her and no personal life nor any social life cz dey have to take d youngest kid along with dem. My dad is 70 diabetic mom is 65 undergone bypass. Wen i say cz of yoi came back i have to leave dat house she says did i hold ur hand and say to go out. Where as i needed peace but i also need my parents as i want to take care of dem cz she treats dem like servants only. And my parentz dont understand dis dey hav soft cornor for her. She is like deemak but dey dont understand. Kindly guide me.

Ans: Your situation is complex, involving familial responsibilities and personal peace. To address it, start by understanding your sister's reasons for not seeking a divorce. Consider engaging a professional family counselor to mediate and provide support for everyone involved. Legally, explore the options available for ensuring she contributes financially to the household.

Your priority should be to protect your parents' well-being and your own family's stability. If your sister continues to burden your parents without contributing, it might be necessary to seek legal advice on how to manage this dependency. You may also need to discuss with your parents the importance of setting boundaries to ensure their health and financial security. Balancing compassion with firm boundaries is key to resolving these issues while maintaining family harmony.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2023

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**JAY*JAGANNATH**, Wishing You For **HAPPY*JANMASHTAMI**, I'm based in Mumbai, but lives in Puri, Odisha, because of **LORD*JAGANNATHA**, Since, I'm a Business Analyst,, not yet Started my Practice,, i had a arrange marriage in my own caste with rest was OK, after reading some of Your advises and type of case,, i became enthusiast to know about my personal disturbances in my family. We live Seperate with my Only 18+Son, Studing & Preparing for Entrance Test via Online.., she is in Guwahati,, working under at a Private Retail Management co., ME & MY FAMILY Severally attempted & requested her and her family too, to Come back & Join to my family for living together,, but when failed,, i encourage her OK live there,, as because after failing an attempt of school transfer due to language issue for a subject like Marathi in Upper classes,, Thus, i stopped disturbing her as well as my son's study. During initial level of Separation,, their family (ELDERS) requested me will handover my family (wife & Son),, if i Pay them(wife& Son) their expenses for a Full Year., that was happened when i reached for an attempt to Convince My Wife and their family to adjoin with me & with my family activity, that was Probably in 2010-11 somewhere in between,, i was Hr. Manager in a Cement Co. in Meghalaya. I agreed too & and Provide as per for a Year. But, while passing a year they became Silent.., not hardcovered my family. till as on date,, i am alone..! She & Elder Sister & the brother-in-law Says they won't divorce nor will allow to handover,, i said why..! The Starting of a Quarrel was with a Issue of Changing my Mental Perception,, while they tried to Implement me with Saying a FALSE PLAN,, but, i Caught their Such Attempt,, MY Mrs. later She admitted that, they tried it because of if I get my Changes in me & to take my decision well for my Next career. Since, i born & brought up in Guwahati, i had a Soft corner for North-East always,, which was happened after 15yrs of long Struggle in Mumbai,, i Stand on my own feet with My Own Struggle & a house for my Stability etc. After Marriage of a Assam Lady only it was a Scope again to Reach Assam.. So, i thought, if i can Start Something a great Project with in & around of North-East. But, that became a bad experience for me as on till. I arrived Recently too, to Convince her,, Come & Join me,, Rest all Hurdle i will Handle,, Now, No more My father also expired, a Retired. Rly Officer,, Parents too visited Severally Assam to Convince them but failed,, I always feel i am alone,, what to do with,, I am a family Oriented Person,, love to keep Relation Well with either Side Well. But, not happening. What to Do Now,, Kindly tell Your Opinion on this,, I am Ready to Take Your Nobly too, Recently, I took little advise from a Legal Family Court Councillor at Guwahati, & their one of Next Door Reputed Lady Neighbour(Who Co-ordinated & Represent too for the Local area of their & for their Constituency during Elections & their any function of their Locality,, a well known in their Locality for a Good behaviour too),, I meet & Spoke to her Severally,, She herself Visited too & found My Wife Not behaving Normally & Cool,, a Raugh behaved Lady, She found & She Said, a disrespected Lady means not Gentle,, i Personally Visited Mumbai at her elder Sister's home too,, during yr.2015,, while in entrance,, the brother-in-law resisted me NOT to Enter,, from the door only i came back. Not meet even & had NO Talk,, while after little a distance i covered from their residence,, i found they again recalling me to Come & Visit. But, I found myself very off mooded, & not visited till as on & till date,, because. they only Created the False Nuisances' with their Plan,, which not became A Success.. they Caught. But, they were Proposer of Our both Relation. But, I want a Justice with this,, Since, I am a Simple & Honest,, Very Straight forwarded with Cut to throat Person..in my Nature,, Soft & Spiritual. Since, Many Years Now Connected to Krishna Consciousness too,, that is why for love & affection i am here at PURI. Kindly, Let me Know Your Precious Opinion by which I can Come out with my Loneliness. **HARE*KRISHNA** Thanking you, With Regards, Surajit Bhattacharjee, In Case if You have a Plan to Visit Puri, Odisha,, Kindly, Let me Know Your Date & Place to See **MAHABAHU**JAGANNATHA*,, You may Send by Your family & friends too with Prior Advance & info.
Ans: Dear Surajit,
Thank you for the festive wishes and thank you for the invite to visit Odisha.

Your situations suggests that much time has passed with no action. Long distance relationships are not easy and require immense maturity and agreement and a lot of trust to keep the marriage going.

What is the reason that your wife does not want to come back now? Your son is already 18 years and is old enough to get into a professional college now...What has happened in all these years that she finds it better living with her side of the better than making her own family come together?

Have the two of you had time to have a private conversation without the interference from anyone else?
Make that honest attempt and appeal to her that you would like the family to get back together. But also be prepared if she says NO as that has been her stance all these years... then please move on...it is difficult but will be better for your physical and mental health.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 09, 2023

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Hi Anu...I dont want to be named but want to share my issues here with you to guidance. Im married and live with my wife and 2 year old son in Noida and my parents lives in some village in UP approx 500 Kms afar. My initial upbriging was done by my Grandparants at separate place till age of 10 so never got any chance to get along with my poarants very well as lived with them for only 4 years then shifted Noida. now the issue issus is my sister who is 5-6 years younger than me has been living with paranets since birth and became very arrogant and irresponsible in life as my parants never tried to correct her instead they always push me to get along citing Im older..she never even accepted my wife and even tried to conspire against my baby boy by filing my mothers mind for years. my parents married her 4 years ago but she dont spend even a month continuously at her inlawa and dont get along with them...she want to sta with my paranets as nobody bothers her in what she wants to do... when anybody try to make her realise that she is wrong she start threating them by saying that she will harm herself...actually she never does. My parents are getting older and dont want to see them suffer mentally and financially anymore but them cant come with me as they have take care of my Great Grandparents..she is too proud to say sorry to me for things she has done but my parents emotionally blackmailing to to talk to her....what should I do...
Ans: Dear R,
Obviously your parents have no clue that their over indulgence in your sister and her life is causing her misery. Their relationship is unhealthy and they are unaware of it...things are sure to go downhill until one of them pulls back...in this case, the ideal thing would be for your parents to pull back and cut financial and emotional support till she starts behaving like an adult and become accountable for herself and her life.
Some people just don't want to grow up...and that is because they have parents or parent figures who fill in their every need and fulfil their every want.
This becomes a habit and when they don't get what they want, they will threaten just like your sister does...she basically likes playing the 'child' and hence your parents are never out of their responsibility of parenting...make them aware that it is enough and a tough stance will set her right and help her build her life.
A grown up must be one and just keep the child alive in them...but here your sister just wants to be the child and keep happily playing thar role as the parents are allowing it...kindly intervene and help your parents understand and do the right thing for their daughter...

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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Hi Mam, I got married in 2020. I have tried to find a job for her in Bangalore.Even she told that i can't eat in your salary if I earn i do not need to do what you are asking. I just asked her that we are family why you are thinking like this.4 to 5 times same problem fight happened. Whatever I tell she has taken in negative way.After a year we got separated. Even if I explain things she doesn't understand. I have dropped her in hometown in her home. Explained things to their parents that this what happened. Asked her parents that let me know what is her decision to live with me or not.After 6 months got a call from her. she did not come out with that mentality and wanted divorce. After a month I have accepted for mutual divorce. Her parents also told that mutual divorce. when called for a meeting in common place for mutual divorce they did not reply. They have filed Domestic violence act by putting false allegations in petition. Case is going on for more than 2 year. when one my relative went to talk. she itself asked pay 25 lakh as one time settlement then only they will withdraw the DVC petition and accept mutual divorce. Now.To the head person of my caste group their parents told that she is willing to live with me Despite taking care of her properly..they filed false allegations on me and family members also. i have decided for mutual divorce when she asked. I don't have 25 lakh.I have told them that I can give them only 7 lakhs then we can mutually get divorce. No answer from them. I have decided not live with her anymore. Pls tell your opinion abt this.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your decision must be right as the real reason for her moving away from the marriage is still unknown or you have missed out on sharing the whole picture.
Also, what is the reason for the Domestic Violence petition? Has there been a reason for her to feel that she needed to put a case on you? But if you know that there is no scope for reconciliation, then I am sure you know what is the best thing to do...
(Due to inadequate information from you, I can provide only generic suggestions). But, there's one thing which is: There seems to have been no understanding between you and your wife when she suggested that it's your salary; there is certainly something which made her unable to come close within the marriage and accept is as a mutual partnership rather than just an isolated relationship.

On the legal aspect, kindly follow what your lawyer advises you to do...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P

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Sir kindly suggest me the to choose option in scaler school of technology ,chitkara university, graphic era and newton school of technology Kindly arrange in high to low prefrence
Ans: Sunil, Scaler School of Technology, launched in 2023, offers a four-year B.Sc+M.Sc in CS & AI designed by industry leaders, featuring mandatory one-year paid internships and polished AC classrooms with an innovation lab, charging a total fee of ?16.25 Lakh; however, it is not recognized by UGC/AICTE and relies on Scaler Academy’s placement record of 1,300 alumni at an average package of ?20 LPA. Chitkara University (estd 2010) is UGC/AICTE-approved, NAAC A+ and ranked #94 in NIRF 2024, with a 93.8% B.Tech placement rate, a median package of ?9.5 LPA, and top recruiters including Infosys, Amazon, and Deloitte. Graphic Era University (estd 1996) holds NAAC A+ accreditation, engages 250+ recruiters yearly, records a highest package of ?54 LPA and a median of ?6.42 LPA for B.Tech, and provides state-of-the-art labs with PhD faculty. Newton School of Technology (estd 2023) partners with 2,000+ companies, achieves a 98% placement rate with average packages of ?12 LPA and early internship exposure, but lacks formal accreditation and is building its campus ecosystem.

Recommendation: For a fully recognized engineering degree with sustained placement outcomes and strong accreditation, recommendation is Chitkara University. Next in preference is Graphic Era University, offering extensive recruiter engagement and impressive top packages within an established university setting. Newton School of Technology is third, delivering intensive placement support and early paid internships but lacks formal UGC/AICTE accreditation. Scaler School of Technology ranks lowest due to its non-accredited B.Sc+M.Sc model, high fees, and reliance on parent-company placement data. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Sir, my nephew is getting electrical engineering in NIT Jalandhar,PEC, Thapar and CSE in UIET Panjab University. Please tell which will be better for him. Thanks.
Ans: Yadvinder, NIT Jalandhar’s B.Tech in Electrical Engineering is a public, AICTE-approved program ranked #58 in NIRF 2024, featuring state-of-the-art power systems and electronics labs, strong industry ties with Microsoft, Google, and Zscaler, and consistent 90–95% branch placements over the past three years. Punjab Engineering College Chandigarh EE is a government institute with rigorous core EE curriculum, dedicated electronics and power labs, and a placement record of 94%, 100%, and 85% in the last three years. Thapar University’s NAAC A+ accredited EE program (#29 NIRF Engineering) offers advanced smart grid, real-time systems, and analytics labs, research-active PhD faculty, recruiters like Optum and American Express, and ~85–90% placements. UIET Panjab University CSE, established 2002, benefits from Panjab University accreditation, a digital library, technical clubs, over 100 campus recruiters (Cisco, ServiceNow, ZS Associates), and CSE placement rates of 96.3%, 66.7%, and 78.4% over the past three years. All options have robust infrastructure, experienced faculty, and active placement cells.

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Prioritize NIT Jalandhar EE for its superior NIRF ranking, stable ~90% placements, and top recruiter engagement. Consider Thapar EE for advanced research labs and strong employer outreach. Opt for UIET CSE if software roles are the goal, and choose PEC EE for a cost-effective public university experience. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7754 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 02, 2025Hindi
Career
Jp noida ece vs jp. Solan cse?
Ans: Both MNNIT Allahabad and NIT Rourkela are top-tier NITs with strong Electrical Engineering programs, excellent faculty, and high national rankings. MNNIT Allahabad’s Electrical Engineering boasts a 96.97% placement rate in 2024, with an average package of ?8.01 LPA and top recruiters from core engineering, software, and consulting sectors. Its faculty is highly qualified, with a focus on electrical and power systems. NIT Rourkela, ranked #19 in NIRF 2024, offers a broader research ecosystem, cutting-edge labs, and a 95%+ placement rate in Electrical Engineering, with an average package of ?13.62 LPA and top tech recruiters like Amazon, Google, Microsoft, and Qualcomm. Infrastructure at NIT Rourkela is excellent, with modern hostels, sports, and a vibrant campus life. Both institutes have strong industry connections, but NIT Rourkela offers a higher average package, broader recruiter base, and more interdisciplinary research opportunities.

Recommendation:
NIT Rourkela Electrical Engineering is the better choice for its higher average package, broader research and recruiter base, and outstanding infrastructure. MNNIT Allahabad remains an excellent option for its high placement rate and strong academic reputation, but NIT Rourkela offers a more competitive edge overall.

Jp noida ece vs jp. Solan cse???? Research deeply & thoroughly the maximum number of highly reliable, valid, primary sources & also the official sources of concerned/relevant college sites/branches & exams (if applicable) on the 5 most important aspects that every institution must have. Summarise the research results in 100 words just in one paragraph ending with a final recommendation in 50 words without numbering, covering all points without omitting anything.

Avoid using the statement, "Based on extensive research into placement records and institutional performance". Avoid using the term, 'my suggestion' instead, use 'recommendation'(mentioned in bold letter). Answer directly.

Don't mention salary package amounts though you can mention the percentage of placement records of the last 3 years of the asked or referred & recommended colleges/branches/program(s)??
Jp noida ece vs jp. Solan cse???? Research deeply & thoroughly the maximum number of highly reliable, valid, primary sources & also the official sources of concerned/relevant college sites/branches & exams (if applicable) on the 5 most important aspects that every institution must have. Summarise the research results in 100 words just in one paragraph ending with a final recommendation in 50 words without numbering, covering all points without omitting anything. Avoid using the statement, "Based on extensive research into placement records and institutional performance". Avoid using the term, 'my suggestion' instead, use 'recommendation'(mentioned in bold letter). Answer directly. Don't mention salary package amounts though you can mention the percentage of placement records of the last 3 years of the asked or referred & recommended colleges/branches/program(s)??
Jaypee Noida’s ECE program is AICTE-approved, industry-oriented, and features strong VLSI, embedded, and communication systems labs, with a 4-year B.Tech intake of 240 and a robust placement cell. In 2024, ECE achieved an 88% placement rate, with 188 offers for 184 eligible students, and top recruiters including Microsoft, LinkedIn, Cisco, Amazon, SAP Labs, and Intel. The average package for all branches was ?8.71 LPA, with a median of ?6.5 LPA. The campus offers modern infrastructure, experienced faculty, and a vibrant technical culture with IEEE student chapters and annual fests. Jaypee Solan’s CSE program, while set in a scenic 125-acre campus, reports a median package of ?6.5 LPA, with 259 out of 388 students placed in 2024 and 99 opting for higher studies. The CSE branch attracts core IT recruiters but overall placement numbers and recruiter diversity are lower than Noida. Solan’s academic and technical environment is positive, but industry exposure, recruiter presence, and placement consistency are comparatively limited.

Recommendation:
Jaypee Noida ECE is preferable for its higher placement rate, stronger recruiter base, advanced labs, and proximity to Delhi NCR’s tech ecosystem. Jaypee Solan CSE is a good backup, but Jaypee Noida offers better long-term industry exposure and placement consistency. Choose Noida ECE for broader career prospects. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7754 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 03, 2025

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Sir, we are from ghaziabad . My son's jee mains rank is 10562. He got electrical engineering in mnnit allahabad . May get ee in nit Rourkela. Which is better?
Ans: Indu Madam, Both MNNIT Allahabad and NIT Rourkela are top-tier NITs with strong Electrical Engineering programs, excellent faculty, and high national rankings. MNNIT Allahabad’s Electrical Engineering boasts a 96.97% placement rate in 2024, with an average package of ?8.01 LPA and top recruiters from core engineering, software, and consulting sectors. Its faculty is highly qualified, with a focus on electrical and power systems. NIT Rourkela, ranked #19 in NIRF 2024, offers a broader research ecosystem, cutting-edge labs, and a 95%+ placement rate in Electrical Engineering, with an average package of ?13.62 LPA and top tech recruiters like Amazon, Google, Microsoft, and Qualcomm. Infrastructure at NIT Rourkela is excellent, with modern hostels, sports, and a vibrant campus life. Both institutes have strong industry connections, but NIT Rourkela offers a higher average package, broader recruiter base, and more interdisciplinary research opportunities.

Recommendation:
NIT Rourkela Electrical Engineering is the better choice for its higher average package, broader research and recruiter base, and outstanding infrastructure. MNNIT Allahabad remains an excellent option for its high placement rate and strong academic reputation, but NIT Rourkela offers a more competitive edge overall. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7754 Answers  |Ask -

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 02, 2025Hindi
Career
Which is better to chose nit Durgapur maths and computing and cbit hyd cse
Ans: NIT Durgapur’s B.Tech in Mathematics and Computing is a newly launched, industry-aligned program blending advanced mathematics, optimization, coding, and computational sciences, taught by PhD faculty specializing in fields like cryptography, AI, and operations research. The institute boasts an 84–85% placement rate, with top recruiters such as Microsoft, Amazon, Oracle, TCS, and PwC, and an average B.Tech package of ?13.6 LPA. The course is designed for careers in data science, analytics, finance, software development, and research, with a strong coding and problem-solving focus. CBIT Hyderabad’s CSE department, affiliated with Osmania University, is recognized for research in AI, ML, cybersecurity, and blockchain, and organizes regular workshops with Microsoft, IBM, and professional bodies. Placements in CSE at CBIT consistently exceed 80–100% with leading recruiters like Microsoft, Accenture, Infosys, and Oracle, and an average package of ?6–7 LPA. The campus offers modern labs, a vibrant student life, and a strong alumni network, though hostel options for girls are limited. Both programs have highly qualified faculty, active research culture, and strong placement records.

Recommendation:
If you prefer a core computer science curriculum with robust placements and industry exposure, choose CSE at CBIT Hyderabad. For a mathematically rigorous, coding-intensive program with broad analytics and software roles, NIT Durgapur Maths and Computing is excellent. For pure software engineering and tech industry focus, CBIT CSE is preferred. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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