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Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 08, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by MS on Jun 08, 2022Hindi

Relationship

Hi Anu, I am a married 32 year old woman, a central govt employee with a 4 year old son.
Last year my husband left for some work for 8 to 9 months. He became very busy.
He doesn’t give me time at all, very dry, never shows love, goes out with me only after a lot of insistence. He’s always busy with phone and work. But we were happy. I adjusted with everything. But after we left, I started feeling very lonely.
I signed up for an extra marital app and started chatting with a man from the same city.
After chatting for 6 months, we decided to meet. He is married, and has a 12 year old daughter.
I feel happy in his company. He is caring and pampers me. Even after my husband was back we met.
We meet once a week after our office hours. We get physically intimate once in two to three months.
We do not disturb each other during family time. We talk to each every day for 10 to 15 minutes.
Many a times I felt like I was cheating my husband and decided to move on. But I am not able to get over his love and care.
I will be transferred to another city in 2 to 3 months. So we decided to have a baby and be in touch always.
Pls guide me if am right or wrong.
Need your advice. I can't share it with anyone.

Ans:

Dear MS,

You did know the perils of an extra marital app and knew what you were getting into.

You have two ways of looking at your situation.

1. If you choose to continue, you are constantly going to have to juggle between your marriage and this relationship

2. If you choose to be exclusive into your marriage, then you are going to possibly be with a man who is who he is

Now, which side of the fence feels more comfortable to you, is something that you need to assess. Also, external validation is something all of us fall prey to sometime or the other in our lifetime.

Ask yourself:

What is lacking in my marriage that is forcing me to step out and explore?
Have I tried to communicate my needs to my husband?
Are there things that I could have done differently to have a better relationship with my husband?

This might give you a chance to understand where you are and what you can do to give your marriage a fair chance if that is what you wish to do.

Whatever you choose, do remember basing your happiness on an external source will always be short lived and all it gives you is heartache.

Be wise, choose wisely and maybe it’s time to laugh a lot, take a step back, breathe and look at what IS in a different way.

If you still waver, do know that whatever is going on also has an impact on your son. So, steady yourself first, do a reality check and then choose.

Be well and happy!

RelationshipReply

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Ravi Mittal |677 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 23, 2023

Question by SSV - May 19, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Heloo I have been a single mother for the last 10 years. Last year I found a guy to retain he loves me and had a physical relationship with me. Six months it was good. suddenly he realized that he had family and started ignoring me, and stop chatting meeting me. I am waiting for him till date. But in the last four months, I start liking another guy who is married with two children and who also loves me a lot. We had a long-distance relationship. He comes from Pune to meet me. We talk a lot on calls. But still, I am confused about what to do. I cannot forget my first guy and also don't know what I feel for the second guy. but I like to talk to him. Please guide me. I don't want to be alone.

Ans: Dear SSV,

It might help you to take a second and think about what you want. You loved someone and now he is gone. Moving on and finding another person to love is natural. Not being able to forget your ex might not be so much about your ex, as much as it is about you not being ready for another relationship. Allow yourself the time to heal and then look to love and be loved.

Introspection- asking yourself, "Am I really in love?" "Do I need some more time to move on?" "Am I completely healed from the previous breakup?" and so on can help you identify the real problem at hand.

You said, "I don't want to be alone." Are you sure you are not jumping from one relationship to another from the fear of the same? Don't let the fear of loneliness rush you into making moves that you might regret. You can consider stepping back from your current relationship for a heartbeat and figure out what it is that you want without your feelings clouding your judgment. Relationships don't usually work out when you are in two minds about it.

Best Wishes!

Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 28, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi. I am a 33 year old woman and my relationship wth my husband was not so good from the beginning. He used to love me but he put his mom and dad first. He used to get angry if my inlaws complaint about me. He had gfs in his past and he did not care to talk to me to build a trust worthy relationship after our wedding. I barely know anything . I had to ask him to know things about him . So I feel a but lonely and depressed. Meanwhile, I had a baby and while spending time with the baby in the park. I met a guy. He had a son and he was also playing with his son like me. He kicked football and it started coming towards my baby. I kicked the ball back in order to protect my baby. Then he came towards us to make us feel safe n he would not let the ball come to us. I was okay with all that. He left after sometime. I also went home. Afterwards, i noticed that he used to look into my eyes for a long time whenever he is around. He would check whetehr im there or not. He plays with his son on regular basis. His wife too come to park with her son. Whenver his wife is there , he would just keave the place and go somewhere else. Lastly, one day he was interacting with me , giving me advice that i should take my baby to doc also. I also replied amd we chatted a bit then he got busy in playing football. I dont know whether im overthinking or he is just being friendly. I just dont know why he is staring and looking profoundly intonmy eyes. He makes eye contact with me quite often. I know nothing about him. I just see him in the park thats all. Pls I need help as im feeling nervous about this whole thing because of lack of clearity and also want advice how to deal with such things .

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is easy to feel a sense of connection with someone who shows you a little attention especially since you don't get any attention at home. But is this worth your time and energy? NO!
The other guy at the park is most likely just being a casual friendly stranger and you are taking a meaning out of it which will fill your vacuum at this moment. Trust me, you don't want to enter this unfamiliar territory which you will start getting used to and slowly outside attention is what you will begin to crave for at any cost.
No point messing up things further. See, if it's possible to rebuild your relationship with your husband. Initially, it may seem too much BUT hey, it takes two people to make a marriage...start first and see what happens even if your in-laws keep interfering, it's about being persistent...Make that attempt...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Kanchan Rai |646 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 25, 2025

Question by Surekha - Jan 25, 2025Hindi

Relationship

I am a married woman with a beautiful kid, it will be our tenth anniversary this year, however we don't share the relationship of husband -wife from the first year itself, the baby is born by IVF. I do respect my husband though our marriage was not consummated till now. It started two years ago where I met a boy who is very younger to me through social network, I was helping him with his company establishment and support him whenever he feels low both emotionally, financially, work related matters and everything. We got connected emotionally and started texting often and talking on phone. It's like our thoughts match, we respect each other, and enjoy each other's company. We met in person too and became physically involved. It's not that he just wanted to get physical, he too is emotionally connected to me, but I know practically it is impossible to be with him as he is very young, will get married soon in a couple of months and i myself have personal issues like m already married and have a kid. There were no problems between me and my friend till now, but when I came to know about his wedding being fixed I am unable to bear the pain, it's like I am going through an emotional turmoil. I can't ask him to cancel his wedding, I can't leave my husband and kid but since I got connected to him emotionally I am going through severe pain everyday for the few days. I couldn't even eat properly these days, always crying. I know this was brought upon by myself but now I am in a condition where I need an advice to cope up with my emotions. I sincerely need a good advice to become normal, neither i can stay without talking to my friend nor i can leave my kid and husband as he is a very nice person and I respect him as a good friend. Please help me how can I cope up and come out of my emotional turmoil. Please help.

Ans: Dear Surekha,
What you're experiencing is heartbreak, and heartbreak, no matter the circumstances, is incredibly difficult to bear. It's not just about letting go of a person—it’s about letting go of the hopes and emotions you attached to them. You're mourning what could have been, even as you know it wasn't sustainable. Allow yourself to grieve this loss. It's valid, even if the situation feels messy or complicated.

Your emotional attachment to your friend is very real, and it has given you a sense of connection that you may have been craving for years. The thought of losing that bond feels unbearable right now, but I want you to focus on this: the love and comfort you found in him are reflections of what you deserve in life, not just from someone else but also from yourself. You have the capacity to feel and give so deeply, and that’s a beautiful part of you. However, right now, the healthiest thing for your emotional well-being is to gently begin creating some space between you and this relationship. It doesn’t mean cutting him out completely if you don’t feel ready for that, but it does mean slowly reclaiming your heart for yourself.

The pain you're feeling won’t disappear overnight, and that's okay. Healing isn’t about forcing yourself to feel “normal” again as quickly as possible. It’s about sitting with your emotions, understanding them, and letting them flow through you without judgment. When the sadness comes, acknowledge it without pushing it away or clinging to it. Journaling can help—it lets you pour your heart out without fear of being judged. Sometimes, just seeing your thoughts on paper can create a bit of distance and help you process them.

You mentioned that you love your husband as a good friend, even if your marriage hasn't been conventional. Think about what stability and comfort this relationship brings to your life, even if it doesn’t fulfill you romantically. You don’t have to force yourself to feel a certain way about your husband, but recognizing what he and your family provide can be grounding during this emotional turmoil.

For now, lean on things that bring you comfort outside of this relationship—your child, close friends, or hobbies that once made you feel alive. Sometimes, when our emotional world is too overwhelming, focusing on small, manageable actions can help. Go for a walk, listen to music, or even try mindfulness exercises. These things won’t erase your pain, but they can help soften its edges.

Finally, remind yourself that this is a season of your life—it won’t last forever, no matter how unbearable it feels in this moment. You are allowed to feel all the things you're feeling, but you are also strong enough to move through them. If you can, consider speaking to a therapist or counselor. Having someone to hold space for your emotions in a neutral and supportive way can be incredibly healing.

You’re not alone in this, even if it feels that way. You’re navigating a very human, very complex situation, and you’re doing the best you can. Give yourself grace, and know that you will find clarity and peace again, one step at a time.

Ravi Mittal |677 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Hi , I am married since past 13 years. I am happy in my marriage. But from pat 1 month my ex came in my life. I tried to ignore him first, avoided him but somehow he entered my life. Now the situation is we talk everyday on call and wen we aren't talking on call than we are chatting with each other. Basically we talk with each other every minute. I really miss him in my life whereas he misses me more than me . He pushes me to meet up but till now I m restricting myself to not to meet him and limit myself on call. Now we both are each other's habit but somehow i feel all this is very wrong bcoz I hav a loving husband. And yes I forgot to mention he will be getting shortly divorced from his wife with whom he had an love marriage. Please help, what should I do ??

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that there’s nostalgia and a certain familiarity at play here, but as you said yourself, this isn’t fair to your husband. I wouldn’t have said this if you even once mentioned that you reconnected as friends. But, it seems mildly romantic from where I am standing. Plus, I am assuming that your husband doesn’t know about this reconnection. It’s truly unfair to him. I suggest either creating a little more distance from your ex, and building boundaries, and most importantly, speak to your husband and let him know that you reconnected. I am sure it feels very nice to get attention from someone who was once important to you, but I assure you that this isn’t worth ruining your happy marriage. New attention always feels good at first, but eventually this too will become routine. Please tread carefully.

Hope this helps.

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Nayagam P P |10854 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi

Career

Hello, I am currently in Class 12 and preparing for JEE. I have not yet completed even 50% of the syllabus properly, but I aim to score around '110' marks. Could you suggest an effective strategy to achieve this? I know the target is relatively low, but I have category reservation, so it should be sufficient.

Ans: With category reservation (SC/ST/OBC), a score of 110 marks is absolutely achievable and realistic. Based on 2025 data, SC candidates qualified with approximately 60-65 percentile, and ST candidates with 45-55 percentile. Your target requires scoring just 37-40% marks, which is significantly lower than general category standards. This gives you a genuine advantage. Immediate Action Plan (December 2025 - January 2026): 4-5 Weeks. Week 1-2: High-Weightage Chapter Focus. Stop trying to complete the entire syllabus. Instead, focus exclusively on high-scoring chapters that carry maximum weightage: Physics (Modern Physics, Current Electricity, Work-Power-Energy, Rotation, Magnetism), Chemistry (Chemical Bonding, Thermodynamics, Coordination Compounds, Electrochemistry), and Maths (Integration, Differentiation, Vectors, 3D Geometry, Probability). These chapters alone can yield 80-100+ marks if practiced properly. Ignore topics you haven't studied yet. Week 2-3: Previous Year Questions (PYQs). Solve JEE Main PYQs from the last 10 years (2015-2025) for chapters you're studying. PYQs reveal question patterns and difficulty levels. Focus on understanding why answers are correct, not memorizing solutions. Week 3-4: Mock Tests & Error Analysis. Take 2-3 full-length mock tests weekly under timed conditions. This is crucial because mock tests build exam confidence, reveal time management weaknesses, and error analysis prevents repeated mistakes. Maintain an error notebook documenting every mistake—this becomes your revision guide. Week 4-5: Revision & Formula Consolidation. Create concise formula sheets for each subject. Spend 30 minutes daily reviewing formulas and key concepts. Avoid learning new topics entirely at this stage. Study Schedule (Daily): 7-8 Hours. Morning (5:00-7:30 AM): Physics concepts + 30 PYQs. Break (7:30-8:30 AM): Breakfast & rest. Mid-morning (8:30-11:00): Chemistry concepts + 20 PYQs. Lunch (11:00-1:00 PM): Full break. Afternoon (1:00-3:30 PM): Maths concepts + 30 PYQs. Evening (3:30-5:00 PM): Mock test or error review. Night (7:00-9:00 PM): Formula revision & weak area focus. Strategic Approach for 110 Marks: Attempt only confident questions and avoid negative marking by skipping difficult questions. Do easy questions first—in the exam, attempt all basic-level questions before attempting medium or hard ones. Focus on quality over quantity as 30 well-practiced questions beat 100 random questions. Master NCERT concepts as most JEE questions test NCERT concepts applied smartly. April 2026 Session Advantage. If January doesn't deliver desired results, April gives you a second chance with 3+ months to prepare. Use January as a practice attempt to identify weak areas, then focus intensively on those in February-March. Realistic Timeline: January 2026 target is 95-110 marks (achievable with focused 50% syllabus), while April 2026 target is 120-130 marks (with complete syllabus + experience). Your reservation benefit means you need only approximately 90-105 marks to qualify and secure admission to quality engineering colleges. Stop comparing yourself to general category cutoffs. Most Importantly: Consistency beats perfection. Study 6 focused hours daily rather than 12 distracted hours. Your 110-mark target is realistic—execute this plan with discipline. All the BEST for Your JEE 2026!

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Radheshyam Zanwar |6744 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Question by Ashish - Dec 13, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir maine 2024 me 12 pass Kiya aur kya 75% se kam rah gaye to kya mai 2025 me nios ka exam dekar 75%+ jee mains de sakta hu jabki maine abhi koi attempt nahi diye jee mains ke aur advance me kitne attempt milenge sir

Ans: Your query has already been replied to you. Please copy and paste the following link in your browser to read it again - https://gurus.rediff.com/hi/question/qdtl/career/given-12th-xam-first-2024-unable-score-75-percentage-gave/5244427

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar |6744 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Question by Ashish - Dec 13, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir namaste maine 2024 me12th pass Kiya aur 75% se kam marks aaye to kya 2026 me nios ka exam dekar jee mains de sakta hu aur jee advance me kitne attempt milenge

Ans: Your query has already been replied to you. Please copy and paste the following link in your browser to read it again - https://gurus.rediff.com/hi/question/qdtl/career/given-12th-xam-first-2024-unable-score-75-percentage-gave/5244427

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1840 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Question by Rahul - Dec 14, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir I have registered for jee main january attempt as a general category student but now I have a ews catagory certificate..So can I apply this certificate in the jee main 2026 april attempt?

Ans: Yes — you can apply your EWS certificate in the JEE Main 2026 April attempt,

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1840 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025

Career

Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure

Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1840 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Question by Ashish - Dec 13, 2025Hindi

Career

Namaste sir , maine 2024 me 12 pass Kiya aur mai 75% nahi la paya to kya mai 2026 me nios exam dekar jee mains de sakta hu aur jee advance ke liye kitne attempt milenge

Ans: JEE Main ke liye 12th pass hona hi kaafi hai, 75% criteria sirf NIT / IIT / IIIT / GFTI admission ke liye hota hai.

NIOS ek valid board hai (CBSE ke barabar maana jata hai).

Agar aap 2026 me NIOS se 12th pass kar lete ho, to:

Aap 2026, 2027, 2028 me JEE Main de sakte ho.

Mayank Chandel |2575 Answers |Ask -Follow

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Question by Sudhir - Nov 18, 2025Hindi

Career

Hello My son will be completing his tenth this year and wish to appear for NEET. We reside at Andheri-Mumbai. Can you please suggest good coaching institutes for the same near by based on overall performance , teacher quality and process of coaching

Ans: Hello Sudhir Ji
it will be very difficult for me to suggest on this.

Radheshyam Zanwar |6744 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2025Hindi

Career

Mai bihar board se 10 or 12 kiya hu or jee main bhi diya mera cutoff clear nhi hua or 3 attempt khatam ho gya hai kya mai ab nios board se fir se 12 complete karke jee main or advanced de sakta hu koe problem hogi kya

Ans: Yes, you can complete 12th again from NIOS and appear for JEE Main, but JEE Advanced has age, attempt, and year-of-passing restrictions, so eligibility for JEE (Adv) may still be an issue.

Honest opinion & suggestion - Even after 3 failed trials, why are you running behind JEE? It would be better to appear for the state-level engineering examination. Get admission to your preferred college and branch. Complete your undergraduate degree. While pursuing UG, appear for GATE. Crack it. With a high score, you can get admission to PG @ IIT. The dream of IIT can be easily fulfilled via this route. There is no sense in appearing for JEE again, especially after completing 12th @ NIOS board. It is just a waste of time, money, and effort.

The final decision will be yours! Only I can suggest.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Mayank Chandel |2575 Answers |Ask -Follow

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Question by Saroja - Dec 12, 2025Hindi

Career

My son has passed 12th board exam in the year 2024. Is he eligible to appear JEE Main in Jan or Apr 2027 ?

Ans: Hello Saroja
Student can appear JEE-Mains for three years starting from his 12th appeared year. So the answer for your is NO.

Mayank Chandel |2575 Answers |Ask -Follow

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 04, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir my name on aadhar is first name +surname On tenth marksheet is first name+fathers name +surname Will it create problem for jee exams

Ans: I don't think there should be any problem. They may ask you to submit the affidavit if they feel so.
In the mean time you can get your aadhar updated as per your marksheet.

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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